#idk if i didn't answer the knock on my door doesn't that suggest i dont want to talk???????

[florida3exclamationpoints]

My mom just came in my room right after I got home to be like how did it go???? What happened???? When are you going back?? How do you feel??? Are you ok???? What are your hours???? What did they say??? And I know she means well but

#and she gets upset at me when i don't wanna talk #IM SORRY but I've been anxious about this for 3 days #the actual thing took an hour + #I had no idea what to expect going in #even tho my mom was convinced i had already gotten the job (i hadn't) #(i tried to tell her why i was unsure and she was like well im sure you got it!! but i didn't know and i HADNT YET) #YES ive been stressed about not having a job but now im stressed about HAVING a job!!!! #i want to forget it exists before i have to do things!!!! #its like she. doest understand how i cope with things #but ive explained it #and then she intrudes while im coping and gets upset at me getting upset #and talking about it while I'm trying to decompress makes me 50000x more anxious #and then she gets worried about how anxious i am #and then she thinks she needs to check on me more bc my anxiety is worse #but then i dont have a chance to decompress so the anxiety doesn't get better #and i tell her this and shes like i just wanna make sure you're ok #but shes making me less ok!!!! #just now when she came to talk about this she knocked. and actually kinda waited for an answer for once #and i didn't answer. bc i didn't wanna talk #so she COMES IN ANYWAY!!!!!!! #she knew i was in my room. she knew i wasn't sleeping bc i just got home. she just wanted to ask about it #while SHES ALSO WORKING!!!! AND DOESN'T HAVE THE TIME!!!! #idk if i didn't answer the knock on my door doesn't that suggest i dont want to talk??????? #and she would say she wants to make sure im ok. which i can't argue with ig. but ive been in the house for 5 minutes #i didn't have time to kill myself. respectfully. #and ive TOLD HER i dont like to talk right after #my mental health is not at a point where i cant be trusted alone in a room for an hour and it NEVER has been #i KNOW shes my mom and she worries and she wants to take care of me i GET IT. but GODDDD!!!!! #anyway. #tw suicide mention