#if this isn't about Jaewoo's life

[lee-hakhyun]

kim dokja answers lee hakhyun's question.

can anyone dream when they want to?

he's the oldest dream, the world's most omniscient yet powerless god.

...how many years has kim dokja been here, dreaming? is this still the kim dokja we know?

lhh tells kdj that he doesn't have to handle this. that was why hsy wrote this novel, to have everyone dream, to free him from this eternity. so why..?

「But I'm the only one watching this 'world' right now.」 「Do you think it's better for this world to disappear?」

in the star stream, stories that no one read disappear. if kim dokja wasn't watching this 41st regression, it would disappear. is it right for a world where the tragedy was predetermined to never begin in the first place?

lee hakhyun starts to say that this is still a real world, and if the world is about to end, with more saddess than joy- kim dokja cuts him off, asking if it's better without it.

lee hakhyun can't answer. even if the end is a tragedy, the sadness and joy will still exist. someone would find their own happiness in the destruction.

but someone has died because of this story. jung jaewoo, jung moonho, lee hakhyun can't forget their faces.

「But someone might have lived because of this story.」

people have died due to this story, but others have survived.

like kim dokja. if this story was not created, he wouldn't have survived. there are many kinds of stories. is a sad story bad, and a happy story good? is a story of destruction meaningless? is this world, a tragedy from the start, better off not existing?

tragedy isn't just the star stream's story. even in a world without scenarios, people suffered, starved, killed each other. people still died. is this universe really different from the star stream?

we're all in ruin. life and death are just stories in between. lee hakhyun understands that, but he can't accept it. he's afraid of death, he doesn't like being sad, he's afraid of people disappearing, so he wants to run away. all stories end. unlike him, kim dokja has accepted this. happy or sad, this world was just a story. he read, and he's reading. for an unimaginable amount of years. is this still the kim dokja we know?

he asks. are you still the reader he knows. he doesn't know if he wants kim dokja to lie. to say he's still the protagonist of this story, that he'll solve this somehow. that they'll see the end of the scenarios together.

he responds, "if that's what you think."

he doesn't take that well :(. lhh is nauseous. kim dokja, clearly standing in the snowfield, looked blurry to him. he asks why he's here. why the readers came here.

kim dokja doesn't answer. for some reason or another, he can't answer. there's something wrong with this snowfield. here, it feels like a fairy tale. they conversed like it was a fairy tale. in metaphors, and symbols. this snow garden was a metaphor for 'between the lines'. nothing is written down, but everything is in between. this kim dokja isn't really him. he's the 'oldest dream', scattered throughout the universe. so he must be meeting lhh through expedient. and then he says the most cryptic bs god DAMN it kdj you're making this really hard for me

「We are the ones that make the story, but at the same time, the story writes us. The answer you want, you'll know when you complete your story.」 「What was the asnwer you found? You already read 'WOS'.」 「I read it, and I never finished it.」

all stories are already written and being written at the same time. lee hakhyun has his reponse, now.

kim dokja's question. if stories of destruction are meaningless. he doesn't know the answer yet. but he knows one thing. at least for this world, he'll prevent the destruction. he remembers the readers. dansu ahjussi, kyung sein, killer king and literaturegirl, ye hyunwoo, koo sunah, kim kyungsik.

he will see the end of this world. he remembers jung heewon, who lost her father, and yoo joonghyuk, who suffered a terrible regression.

even if this results in even more changes to this worldline, he will struggle to the end, somehow. maybe his choice will lead to a bigger tragedy for the universe. maybe people will blame him for this. and maybe they're right.

but he's not the 'oldest dream'. he can't dream about such a wide universe.

all lee hakhyun sees is the world in front of him. people who read his story, and are living his story. a little happiness before the ruin.

「Cheon Inho.」 Kim Dokja said. 「No, Hakhyun-ah.」 In spite of myself, I looked up. There was Kim Dokja. The Kim Dokja I knew. Someone who loves stories more than anyone else was talking to me. 「Whatever it may be, tell me a happy story this time.」

he leaves the snow garden. waking up, he notices some changes. the star stream has noticed his existence. ☐☐ is subject to probability restrictions now. some features have been locked until he's qualified.

his 'loss' has been recorded on the 'final wall'.

two so far.

the final wall acknowledges his contribution, and his exclusive skill evolves.

...he will get additional benefits the more 'loss' he collects.

and, his new story has been created.

[The story 'Recorder of Things That Will Disappear' has been born.]

the end of this universe has already been determined. nevertheless, this story has just begun, and lee hakhyun has sentences to write. so he will write.

after all, he still loves this story.

#wow WOW ok!! this was a great chapter #gonna be honest i didn't fully grasp it on a first read but it hit me like a truck while typing this. i hope the explanation is clear enoug #all stories deserve to exist. even if it's not a happy one #orv side story #orv spoilers #side story lb

[littleragondin]

This morning, I finished episode 6 of Once Again thinking about that Alfred Lord Tennyson quote that goes “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all” and I wondered: is it true for Shin Jaewoo?

At 10, he had his first crush on Kang Jihoon, an adult who literally saved him, was kind and caring, who was his hero. Then, he spent 15 years (more than half his life!) crushed by the culpability of that man’s murder – murder that happened in front of him as he was being kidnapped again like holy trauma Batman!!

Now he is 25, still carrying that love, and that guilt that is clearly heavily impacting his life and twisting his sense of self (“somewhere you belong and I don’t”? How ready he is to sacrifice himself as a child to not have to live through that pain again???). And then! He gets back to Kang Jihoon, he gets to spend time with him as a fellow adult, finds out that he is also beautiful, and cute, gets to kiss him, to be hugged by him, and he falls in love again, and he is being loved in return. 

But so far all the clues we’ve been given suggest there is no happy ending for them, that Jaewoo is not going to be able to change the past because everything he’s done so far is already part of what happened (he remembers his scary older self talking to him, also the killer taking his knife that looks like the one used to kill Jihoon). Tragedy is coming for them, and Jaewoo is going to lose Jihoon again isn’t he? And then what? How is he going to keep going with the renewed guilt - he couldn’t forgive his child self, how the hell is he going to forgive himself now if he isn't able to save Jihoon? - with the renewed grief? When the pain is going to be exponentially worse than it had been for the past 15 years? 

Is there a point where you go through enough heartbreak that you can’t trust that loving was worth the pain? Where you can’t believe any more that even if it was ripped from you again and again, it was better than never having known love? Is there a way for Jaewoo to not reach that point by the end of his story? I sure hope so but man, that's a very thin hope...

#Once Again the series #Once Again spoilers #I really like that quote for many reasons but this morning it made me sad to think of it about those two #I knew it couldn't lead to a really happy ending but it keeps rolling toward a truly tragic end and it does break my heart #I can't believe that I procrastinated catching up my only 12% because I know this week's episode is going to make me sad #and my brain went 'sure sure we don't want to be snotty before 6am on a Sunday morning' #'instead let's go back to that probably doomed time travel love story you put aside for later' #and I LISTENED #smart move great way to go #anyway I am really reaaaally liking the series so far and the actors are all doing a great job I find #but boy oh boy it's putting my heart through the wringer #and I am a big sensitive thing so I have already cried a lot lol

[dojae-huh]

Sometimes I get the impression that Jungwoo has a severe crush on Jaehyun. You know, handsome man, radiant, deep thoughts, Idk. He can skinship with other members who tolerate and receive him better, but he always clings to Jae. Obviously Doyoung is very noble to interfere in this, he loves Jungwoo very much, but I would feel bad if Doyoung one day gave up/rejected Jae because of it.

I think it's better to stick to reality than to let imagination run wild. Doyoung giving up Jaehyun due to his tolerance of other members, lmao.

Jungwoo isn't gay, he isn't bi either. Or Taeil, Mark and others won't tolerate his skinship that easily.

127 has "official" ships established by themselves. DoWoo, YuMark, JohnIl, YuIl, TaeDo, etc. The ships exist as fanservice and as a way to bring attention to a member, involve a quiet one into action. For Woo it's JaeWoo (started with Jack and Rose). I think in part Woo likes the ship because he likes to annoy Jaehyun. Jaehyun is fun to annoy as he isn't keen on giving attention (which Woo demands) but at the same time he is a softie (so Woo can have an upper hand).

Woo's first target and first choice was Taeil, actually. Maybe he changed to Jae after his half-year hiatus and Doyoung returning to taking care of him and creating Sabujakz, or maybe due to the rise of SunMoon and YuIl.

How many TMI's have you heard about JaeWoo after they stopped being roommates? (officially, anyway) Doyoung constantly talks about eating with Woo. Mark constantly talks about wanting Woo in his life. Just recently Woo talked about going to the gym in a hotel with Taeil.

[lee-hakhyun]

this is the second time lee hakhyun seen a reader die in front of him. he can't save him. this time, he can only watch as the sentences he wrote played out in reality.

I wanted to ask. Why did you risk your life for this child. Why jump in for a character who has no connection to you? Maybe I know the answer. 「Because he is a fragment of Kim Dokja.」

just like jaewoo, a little kdj kkoma soul comes out, and is taken away by black hands <- before it was white hands. which is weird, but there's no time to think about that right now. the last sentence lhh wrote is repeated.

「Finally, it was the story end that the reader wanted.」

lhh is close to a breakdown. it's WOS that protects him, bringing up sentences from yjh to stabilize him. "if you don't give up, there's still a way."

jung heewon asks if there's a way to save eunho. she's,, not doing well. her father just died, and her brother is close to death. lhh receives medicine from the sccenario rewards.. but... it's not enough. he asks bihyung, and the bureau is a mess due to the whole outer god thing. additional rewards are delayed. looking to the constellations, the stars have medicine, but they're just trying to scam him.. there is another way, though.

the meteorites have different materials depending on the colour, as mentioned in orv. the one they have is a faint turquoise colour. lhh tried to order his slime into broken faith, but it rejects him. he can't use 'incite' for 10 minutes as a penalty. he picks up a random item on the ground, but jung heewon steps up and says she'll break it instead. her magic is different. there's a notfication that jung heewon's inner self is filled with madness, and there's another attribute evolution.. if jung eunho dies here, jhw will evolve into the 'crazy butcher'. the butcher was a lonely person, and lhh can't have that happen to jung heewon. jung eunho has to be saved.

inside the meteor, there are 3 'shaolin pills' (?) that jung eunho can eat. he mixes it with the previous medicine to reduce the toxicity, but when they give it to eunho, he goes through a qi deviation jhw and lhh try to help regulate the qi, and even if lhh knows only murim masters could help, he still has to try. they keep trying, but they still couldn't save him. it's like fighting against fate. it's like someone is trying to turn jung heewon into the crazy butcher.

just as he's about to let go and give up, his new story appears. 'Persistent Murim Master'. this is the story the constellation passes down to him,, following the story, he's able to regulate eunho's magic, and eunho is cured.

he hears another 'special' sentence.

「And Writer Lee Hakhyun recorded the whole story.」

he wonders, where do these sentences come from? is it from orv, wos? the fourth wall, or the final wall?

「Do y ou wa nt to kn ow?」

he does want to know.

now isn't the time to pass out.. but he's exhausted. he closes his eyes, and when he opens them.. he's in the snowfield. kim dokja is there. kim dokja hands him some tea, created by the 81st yjh. it's good. kim dokja can have stuff like that, because he's the oldest dream, and he can imagine it. it's peaceful here, but lhh feels a little different. he sees the faces of jung heewon, jung moonho, jung jaewoo, the heavenly beggar in the tea.

he asks kim dokja why he's still dreaming.

#kim dokja please talk. say something. anything #side story lb #orv side story #orv spoilers #mm i kinda like rambling with these shorter summaries actually #helps me process what goes on in the chapters #...it's shorter than what i was previously doing at least #i do like the term 'butcher of madness' better than 'crazy butcher' but it was crazy butcher in orv #the medicines are hard just skimming through i'll get better terms when i translate it