#jesus christ i love fushiguros. i'm fucking ill

[fushigurro]

sometimes i think about how it must've felt to be toji—no cursed energy, put through the absolute fuckin wringer because of it, tries to get away and be free just to have a kid who gets the damn prized technique

luck like that just makes you feel so goddamn pissed and beat down by the entire universe. a dead wife, a kid that ties you back to the shitty family you can't seem to get away from... obv not an excuse for wild behavior but like you can see why an individual might make some choices lmfao

of course he shut it all down mentally/emotionally. of course he reverted back to some self-preservationist ways. there's only so much you can take sometimes before you're like "oh yeah what was my kid's name again?" because you trick yourself into not caring enough to remember. lowkey been there done that myself and i haven't even been through the same shit as him. bro had to fight for his life just because he was born different so that's his fucking default

i just. imagine the pain and anger that has to be expunged somehow because you aren't allowed (and don't know how) to be vulnerable. but the little bits of love and kindness that once touched you still surface in the final moments. like FUCK dude i'm not a "lovergirl" but goodness and kindness is everything and it cycles forward

#i mean there are LIMITS don't break your back for people that'll take advantage of it #and don't take unnecessary shit etc. etc. #but one moment full of love can change everything #anyways. this is not New or Revolutionary i'm just thinking about him #jesus christ i love fushiguros. i'm fucking ill #rambles. #re: toji fushiguro