#last time we fought rly was the last straw. if they wanted to resolve it I wouldve. but they said not to contact them anymore so I haven't

[toastsnaffler]

uwgrhrhfbf feeling very pathetic + missing my ex rn..... not so much the dating part but we were best friends for soooo long :^(((

#ik its been a while but some things were just so easy with them there yknow. i havent felt that ease in such a long time now #the hole they left behind still hasnt filled in...ive never known as truly or cared as deeply abt anyone before or since #last time we fought rly was the last straw. if they wanted to resolve it I wouldve. but they said not to contact them anymore so I haven't #maybe that was smth they said out of anger + now theyre too proud to take it back (<- in character) but they couldve texted me anytime so. #but its so strange.. they havent blocked me on any social media but they removed me from their instagram followers #but they still follow me?? why not just block me entirely? and we're still friends on fb/discord too.. even tho our fight was over discord #I don't want to block them bc I wanted us to work it out + stay friends. and if they messaged now I would consider repairing the damage #so I'll leave those channels open in case they ever come back #they unfollowed me on spotify + deleted some playlists theyd shared with me but specifically not the ones they made FOR me(??) #which is also odd. the funniest part of it all (to me anyway) is they unfollowed me on duolingo... thats when u know the divorce is real #like WHY would u remove me on duolingo and not discord which we both use DAILY and still see each other active on..... what. #they always were an enigma #I didnt like the person they had become when we were last in contact. I think they were around some very bad influences #at their uni.. they were very bitter and saw the worst in everything. it made me so sad to see them change like that #it happens. but even with that + how they treated me I still cared abt them very deeply + still do now tbh #I hope theyre ok wherever they are + whatever theyre doing. sending nice thoughts their way #and I do still hope that someday maybe theyll reach out again I do miss them so much sometimes #man. #anyway too much thinking I need to go to sleep #goodnight ily silly ppl on tumblr #.diaries #.vent #<- i suppose