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#like it's been v illuminating v much that 'you never realise just how mentally ill you are until you try persuing a romantic relationship'
hella1975
·
3 months
Text
we may have lost another one to the bisexual hotgirl and straight loserboy agenda but trust i am fighting it comrades 🫡
#IM TRYINGGGGG. the fuck of it all is that we've been going on dates on and off for WEEKS now
#and i said to him at the start im not looking for anything serious and there's a chance he might be mugging himself off
#bc i am just NOT emotionally available and low and behold we were at the pub the other night and wound up having a pretty
#serious talk about how ive really liked getting closer to him and i genuinely enjoy our time together but i just cant see anything
#serious coming of it NOT BC OF HIM BC GENUINELY I FEEL LIKE IVE MET MY MATCH WITH THIS BOY
#NO ONE IRL CAN BANTER WITH ME LIKE HE CAN AND THAT IS SUCHHH A CRUCIAL BOX TO TICK WITH ME
#but i just dont think im mentally or emotionally in the place for a relationship and i dont like him ENOUGH to fight for it
#like it's been v illuminating v much that 'you never realise just how mentally ill you are until you try persuing a romantic relationship'
#bc DAMN. i feel insane like why cant i just be normal about things and enjoy nice things and people in my life
#BUT despite me saying all this to him and TRYING NOT TO BE THE ASSHOLE he has fully admitted that he likes me SO MUCH
#that he'd like to keep going on dates and stuff regardless of the end result. like he genuinely just likes my company
#and will take it in any capacity he can get he literally SAID that he's whipped for me 😭
#and im like HOW DO I WIN HERE. IF I TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT IM AN ASSHOLE BUT CUTTING HIM OFF ISNT FAIR EITHER
#AND I LIKE OUR LITTLE DATES AND BEING SPOILED AND HAVING SOMEONE BE A LITTLE OBSESSED WITH ME
#SORRY IF THAT MAKES ME A BAD GUY. GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING
#ughhhhhhh. so yeah we're going on another date tonight. shoot me i dont care!!!!
#hella goes to uni
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