#maybe i'll just go do my final project proposal for the class this freakout is stemming from in the first place and sleep and

[quitedisastrous]

life was so much easier three days ago when i was detaching myself from reality and spending all of my free time shiny hunting

#im fr gonna be stuck having the worst week so far this year just to have to force myself to play through ultra sun so i can beat it #solely because i need to trade blacephalon for the ultra moon exclusive before the online stuff goes down on the 8th. god #starting to tire of shiny hunting and whatever the fuck has been going on with me today has just made it worse #also tried to draw for the first time in a few weeks (which is a shit load of time for me since i normally do it every couple days at least) #but i just. couldn't. so that was fun #i gotta deal with all this shit from college just to 1) get a job 2) get a job in a workforce that is totally going to cause some sort of #strife in some capacity most likely (going into web development as a woman as far as i need the public to be concerned) #ghm i give up on spelling these all out. i'm a freak who gets freaked the fuck out over situations that i'm not familiar with #can't drive (also scared of that because responsibility for unfamiliar things freaks me out) #never had a job in my life. has never experienced a life outside of academics. queer. genderqueer. i haven't seen my friends since last may #man. i don't know. i could point out a million other things about being queer and probably neurodivergent and scared and sad. #i just want to go on and have a place of my own and a romantic partner and a pet beetle and to bring some of the outdoor colony cats from my #grandmother's house inside with me. and stuff. #i don't know #i just want to be happy with meaningful connections and not scared and not whatever the hell is going on with me today #maybe i'll just go do my final project proposal for the class this freakout is stemming from in the first place and sleep and #see if that does anything. maybe #what is wrong with me