#my guy just went 'i can ruin myself' and dashed odf

[daemon-in-my-head]

Hot take, but I think Gortash has immense self hatred and actively choses to be miserable.

It would be easy just to go back home. His parents love him now. He has the money to fix everything. He controls them. There's no way they can harm him anymore. And yet he doesn't. He stays away, in his fortress, in his Iron Throne. In scarcely decorated places that lack most comfort.

It would be easy to use his money to look spotless, splendid, to blend in with society and be just like the others, just how his parents always wanted him to be. But he doesn't. Instead, he continues to be eccentric. And worst of all, he wears all the symbolism of the hell he's just escaped. The tormentor of his childhood is everywhere.

It would've been easy to discard everything and run away with Durge. He got them to defy their father to a frightening degree. If he had tried, he could've convinced them. It would've saved himself, Durge, both of them if he did. And yet he pushed forward, even knowing what he did and what end would eventually wait for him.

Gortash apparently knew the brain was changing. But he decided to do and say nothing about it. I love me some unhinged Orin but I'd argue she'd be reasonable enough to postpone her bloodkin lobotomy plans if she caught wind of an elder brain changing into a netherbrain thanks to said bloodkin doing funny stuff. They could've prevented this whole story if my guy had simply said something. But he decided to just, not?

He's deeply contradictory. He's a genius, but his mistakes and faults in his plans are evident to even the greatest fools. He's determined to be loved, to be a hero, and yet when he's offered love, or heroism he turns away from it.

Also did I mention that he's the one person who can legitimately turn on his patron but refuses to? Ketheric can't because otherwise Isobel is forsaken. Durge and Orin can't because Bhaal can just barge in and control them like the puppets they are, but Bane? He doesn't have a hold like this over Gortash. Gortash doesn't even seem to fear him as much as he'd like. And yet that man refuses to turn his back on a deity who will torture his soul for fuck all reasons without really receiving smth in return. He just keeps going knowing he can't win.

Oh and the whole 'putting Bhaals handcrafted scion on a leash' bit? Normal people would stay a safe distance away from people that can and will gut them for minor reasons, but he decided to understand that as a challenge?

I'd argue he's just an arrogant maniac, but the utter disregard of his safety kinda goes against that. Being a tyrant is cool but you can only properly tyrant if you're alive, and Gorty over here is making 0 efforts to improve his life or keep it for that matter.

#like for someone who loves himself #hes doing a lot of shit that doesnt match that claim #my guy just went 'i can ruin myself' and dashed odf #i get that you can read twisted motivation etc into stuff too #but if you line everything up like that #it does seem kinda odd #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #enver gortash #bg3 gortash #lord gortash