#napoleon is not even ready to ACKNOWLEDGE that he trusts illya so much - he definitely can't let HIM know

[heytheredeann]

Headcanon that Illya is a light sleeper, a fly landing on the window can and will wake him up under the assumption that they are going to die, while Gaby (when she manages to fall asleep to begin with, hello insomnia) is an extremely heavy sleeper, nothing will wake her up. One time Napoleon literally started banging pots and pans because it was noon and he figured she should get out of bed but nope, she was none the wiser.

And then there's Napoleon, who is normally as light a sleeper as Illya, but has now discovered the wonders of Sleeping Around His Tall And Deadly Partner. When he sleeps with Illya or in his near vicinity, he is as heavy a sleeper as Gaby.

This is all fine except Illya has NO IDEA that Napoleon is normally so easy to wake up, which leads to a very awkward conversation with a couple of CIA agents who were paired up with Napoleon at one point for some mission and who, trying to make small talk with Illya, bring up how annoying it was to not be able to so much as grab a bottle of water without finding Napoleon staring.

Meanwhile Illya is there like "...what are you talking about. If he's asleep there could be plane crash right out his window and he would not notice."

Illya is confused. Napoleon is just about to start digging a tunnel bare-handed to get out of this conversation.

CANNOT LET ILLYA KNOW THAT HE LIKES HIM ABORT ABORT ABORT—

#yes this is very pre-relationship #napoleon is not even ready to ACKNOWLEDGE that he trusts illya so much - he definitely can't let HIM know #napollya #the man from uncle #tmfu #napoleon x illya #not spn #my headcanon #ely has shit to say #they don't need queue