#ok i think im done. for now. its 1am and i have class at 8:30 so uh i guess i'll just die about it but oh well. i was gonna watch one more

[enbyripley]

More “Get to Know Me” Bullshit

creds to @lilflowerkiddo

• 1. have you ever been in love?

      nope

• 2. who is your favorite artist?

      szin

• 3. what is your favorite music genre?

      punk pop/rock

• 4. have you ever had a penpal?

      no but i think it’d be cool

• 5. are you single or in a relationship?

      single and never ready to mingle 

• 6. what color are your eyes?

 • 7. what is your favorite word?

 • 8. do you play any instruments?

• 9. what is your favorite color?

• 10. do you have any nicknames?

• 11. what is your favorite flower?

        cherry blossom

• 12. what qualities do you find attractive in a person?

        sincerity and humor

• 13. do you have any pets?

• 14. have you ever traveled outside of your home country?

        i wish :(

• 15. what language(s) do you speak?

       im currently learning some french so thats fun

• 16. who was your first crush?

        in kindergarten i didn’t know that girls and boys could just be friends, i don’t count it as a real crush tbh

• 17. do you wear glasses?

• 18. what is your favorite pastry?

        donuts

• 19. do you prefer swimming in a pool or in the ocean?

        the ocean

• 20. bright, dark, or pastel colors?

        bright and pastel

• 21. what is your favorite social media app?

        youtube and reddit

• 22. what is your sexuality?

• 23. do you have any siblings?

• 24. what is your favorite scent?

        cinnamon, brownies, and vanilla

• 25. where do you want to travel to?

        japan

• 26. what is your favorite film?

        The Imitation Game

• 27. who do people say you look like? (celebrity/family member)

        my mom and sisters

• 28. who is your best friend?

• 29. what is your dream job?

        graphic novel author/artist

• 30. do you know how to drive?

         “im like 7 or something”

• 31. who is/was your favorite teacher?

         my science teacher

• 32. are you a feminist?

        oh helL NAH

• 33. what is your zodiac sign?

• 34. do you enjoy reading?

        yeah

• 35. do you have any hidden talents?

         not that im aware of

• 36. have you ever dyed your hair?

        yeah but it faded really quickly so it became just blonde :/

• 37. what is your favorite thing in your bedroom?

        my bed

• 38. what is your biggest fear?

• 39. can you whistle?

        lol nope

• 40. do you make your bed every day?

        nah fam

• 41. do you have any tattoos and/or piercings?

        not atm

• 42. have you ever been on a roller coaster?

         hell yeah

• 43. surfing or skateboarding?

        surfing

• 44. are you a dog or a cat person?

• 45. what is your favorite animal?

• 46. do you have a skincare routine?

        no i don't wear makeup but i think the art of makeup is really cool

• 47. what time do you typically go to bed at and what time do you wake up at?

       summer: 3am-10am  school: 1am-6:30am (my school starts later than most its weird)

• 48. what is your favorite memory?

         going to Space Camp in Huntsville Alabama

• 49. how tall are you?

• 50. what is the best gift you’ve ever received?

        my phone, thats all i can think of

• 51. do you have a garden?

         i don't rn but i want one

• 52. do you like bugs?

        they're ok just kinda annoying tbh

• 53. what is your natural hair color?

• 54. what is your favorite food and drink?

        mac and cheese

• 55. do you want kids?

• 56. what is/was your favorite class?

• 57. what color shirt are you wearing?

        grey

• 58. if you could time travel, what year would you go to and why?

        2050 to see if A1 has eliminated humanity by then

• 59. what is your skin color?

        1/2 shade darker than a ginger (i tested it)

• 60. hugs or kisses?

        hugs

• 61. have you ever drank alcohol?

        i used to go to church, so i dipped bread in wine there but not too often

• 62. have you ever done drugs?

        no because i am a pure child (but i smelt weed before but it didn’t have a noticeable affect since it was secondhand)

• 63. netflix or youtube?

        youtube

• 64. ice cream or frozen yogurt?

        frozen yogurt ftw

• 65. succulents or flowers?

       flowers are prettier but ive wanted a succulent for a long time now

i didn't answer the questions that i already answered in previous posts

#wtf am i doing

[17sunday]

writing on the day of dec. 6 2019

this week has been so fucking wild I had to document it or else my sleep depravation will make me forget it by tomorrow!

sunday - dec. 1 thanksgiving weekend has come to a close and i’m FUCKED, like I have so many fucking projects to complete (mind you, these are all master’s level courses) and I’ve sort of started, but I know the biggest hurdle for all of them has yet to be completed. I have severe anxiety on things not getting done and i will literally stay up if I feel like I am not making enough progress on something...so guess what I stay up till 6 am in order to run this code on Rstudio (sleep count: 3 hours)

monday - dec. 2 I am a teaching assistant for capstone, so I can’t sleep in and go to class to help out my students, keep in mind i’m tired, but I can usually thrive off of 3 hours if its only a day and I take a nap. turns out i had a lot more to do for my project presentation on tuesday than i thought (ah it always becomes that way huh?) and I had no nap because i had to go to office hours for last minute checks, then I had to work on the code....but at 1AM when I was generating the graphs, I reached an error and its hard to explain the logistics but I had to REDO all the coding analysis again and i was on such of a crunch on time yall that I COULDNT EVEN CRY AND HAVE A BREAKDOWN WHAT THE FUCK AND I SLEPT AT FUCKING ASS O CLOCK 6 AM (sleep count: 6 hours)

tuesday - dec. 3 i have a presentation in this advanced bio class (i wont specifically name the class just in case LOL) and I think I did well but my professor asks me (and everyone in the class) to do another coding shit YET HE TELLS ONE STUDENT SHE DID A LOT AND JUST ADD TO DISCUSSION LIKE U FUCKING BITCH WE ALL WORKED HARD *victoria justice voice* HOW DARE HE BULLSHIT US LIKE THAT, HE KNOWS DAMN WELL WE ALL WORK HARD AND NOW WE HAVE EXTRA SHIT AND THIS BITCH GETS NONE IM DONE WITH THIS FAVORITISM I SWEAR TO GOD but several people liked my presentation and said i did a great job so i felt so RELIEVED after the presentation, IT WAS DONE THE CODE WAS DONE and then I had lunch with jake and thai and we had the funniest fucking conversations i love them so much

THEN I HAD A FUCKING PITCH TO MAKE FOR WEDNESDAY AND I HAD A WEDNESDAY MEETING AT 8 AM BUT I SLEPT AT 6 AM AGAIN BTICH LMAO I ended up telling my professor I couldn’t make the meeting and they were fine with it, I’m glad I have an understanding professor who won’t pressure us and is understanding when things come up

I showed up to class at maybe 10:30 AM? (sleep count: 10.5 hours)

wednesday - dec. 4 I’m walking death at this point. I stayed up to finish my pitch, i watched m*mas and that show was bullshit and a waste of time aka svt deserved daesang butttttt whatevers, I go to class and I’m working on other assignments and take a 30 minute nap before my 4:50PM class (which goes until 7:30 mind you). I show up to class and we do our presentations. I’m already in a rough state of mind, and i always compare myself to others so when my professor heavily complimented my peers and didn’t leave room for a nice compliment for me I was so devastated and it probably showed on my face i was on verge of TEARS. I’ve dealt with so much bullshit I couldn’t even face this I was literally just working off of no sleep and my constant self-deprecation made me sensitive but I talked to both jake and thai and they made me see a perspective i would have never seen before. before i left the class i reached out to my professor on what I can improve and she gave me pointers and she is good at reading people’s faces and said “its great bea...its so great!!” and i felt INFINITELY TIMES BETTER! she’s also so so kind to me. My friend a/hmad also said “bea i dont want you to depend on others to say good job, because no matter what, someone will always critique you” and that really hit me hard, for the first time i thought about how i perceive myself and how dependent i am to receive verbal affirmation from other people. I realized i no longer wanted to be tied to that. I want to have confidence from MYSELF because i know my OWN worth, not because i’m happy someone else sees me as worthy....it was a catalyst and now im learning...i feel like i always learn something big in college in terms of my self growth and I am SO happy for that... anyway my team and i worked late into the evening for a cyber project to figure out how to alter a PID controller and I almost broke down but my team and I were working hard and eventually we reached a solution (not what I thought would be the best, but Muthuswamy was on board!!!) and my team said “ok we aren’t getting anywhere lets go home” when it was 11PM and we all agreed. We, and me especially have been dying this week and the rest would do us good, my friends all pleaded for me to sleep early and I promised them i would :(( i love how worried they are, their kindness touches me!!! ALSO JAKE GAVE US RIDES BACK TO OUR PLACES AND FUCKING PUT ON TOKYO DRIFT AND DRIFTED LOLOLOLOLOOLOLOL

slept at 2 AM (sleep count - 18 hours)

thursday - dec. 5 FINALLY I GOT 7 HOURS OF SLEEP! I TRUSTED MY TEAM AND LET US ALL REST TO WORK HARD TOMORROW. I showed up to class where I realized the bullshit where the favorite student got to do nothing and we do everything LOL but i was whatevers about it. afterwards I booked it to the tutoring center to finish up the presentation. Jake clutched and got all the graphs looking PRETTY I LOVED IT! HE IS A TRUE BRO! we went to class a little later but muthuswamy went through presentations and was impressed and jsut wanted to make sure we make robust testing in the report which made me SO HAPPY! he seemed to recognize us and our efforts too!!! IM SO GLAD HE LIKED IT

we then had to work on homework and i swear we had the funniest fucking conversations like a/hmad’s team texts him please in front of each text and so he started texting please in the first part too LMAOOO IM SO DEAD, then like both a/hmad and s/teven worked on the homework cause j/ke and i did the project LOLLLLL and jake and i would fucking LAUGH at everything cause what is this BULLSHIT we’re learning HAHAHAHAHAH

THEN JAKE SANG HALO IN THE HALLWAY WHEN IT WAS ECHOY AND WHEN HE WALKED IN HE GOT STANDING OVATION FROM CURRENT SENIORS LMAOO

we turn in the homework by 8 and thai and i leave by 9:30 to get ihop. we were angry at service but the server who just clocked in was so NICE AHHHHHHH, we had our regular sleepover and i practiced for pitch FOR THIS STARTUP COMPETITION slept at 3am (sleep count: 25 hours)

friday (today) - dec. 6  SO NO ONE REPLIED WHAT TIME I HAD TO HELP OUT AS FACILITATOR SO I JUST SHOWED UP AT 12PM AT THE PRESENTING AREA. I enjoyed talking to my students and got some action shots taken of me hehe. then i went to the presentation and KILLED IT AND MY TEAM WON 10K OMG, i will elaborate later, still processing churro n taco LOL