#recently i've been more in contact w my own reality which is nice bcs i typically feel distanced from the rest of the world

[noxtivagus]

aaaaaa i wna writeee

#🌙.rambles #there's so many things in my notes of like #ideas and aesthetics #i do write from time to them but god it's been ages since i #since i've last wrote smth with a proper storyline hhhh #just some bittersweet lines from time to time that i think of ? that relate to things/charas i love or my own feelings #damn bro my writing is such a mess and it reflects how i am myself #sigh but i think what's been holding me back for a while now is #idk what charas/fandoms to write for ? idm if i write and don't get much notes but i don't even know who to write for #recently i've been more in contact w my own reality which is nice bcs i typically feel distanced from the rest of the world #nah even now i always feel that sense of loneliness and distance lingering in the back of my head #but oh angst shit aside i've found it harder to #hmm no i still love fictional charas but idk bro i'm sick of dreaming i want it to be reality #sigh i really want to fall in love irl #but i'm not in any rush. i'm my own priority. it would be nice though if i find love without even looking for it #aaaa i keep on dumping my emotions on tumblr tags smh. habit i suppose #my selfish desire is romance :< i want my own story someday #but i guess i'm afraid. #but i genuinely am fine with shouldering all this pain. someday perhaps it'll be my time to... to idk but yes #helping has always been among my top passions after all ! #and that also includes myself... #if i could just wish that #nahh #thinking abt it n at least the things i love like ffxiv and gbf put into words #the things i'm still hesitant to outright say