#so now I'm just clutching my bear i got on my fps bday bc my trauma brain is convinced events are repeating and-

[nephiliam]

Ngl i feel like I'm on the brink of a mental break down from everything thats gone on for the past two months and jesus fucking christ do i wish i wasn't right now

#vent on main #complete isolation from everyone i know because of bullshit phone internet #not having anything to do that wasn't stuck being in the house or going shopping for things i have no space for #not being able to hang out with my fp or go over to see them bc of stuff getting in the way #and then the jeanette mccurdy audiobook hitting several triggers in me that sets off the biggest trigger #so now I'm just clutching my bear i got on my fps bday bc my trauma brain is convinced events are repeating and- #me visiting my sisters will cause the 'eventual' fall of our friendship bc that happened with my last friend i had but theres no real- #connection to that past trauma and me staying with my sisters but boy howdy do i feel convinced bc I'm anxious!!!! #I'm miserable right now and i feel terrible for it bc I'm with family i haven't seen in 2 years and my fp reassured me everything is okay #but i still cry and panic and hyperventilate #i hate this i can't even tell if I'm being too dependent or if this is smth i need intense comfort on #GOD