#so... yeah just a boost please; earnestly and sincerely I'm asking proverbial hat in hand

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

((I, truly and legitimately, need reasons against me just deleting this blog and none of that vague, impersonal 'oh people might miss you!' or 'but you're great!' shit either because generalizing things doesn't help and I'm stressing this point not to be mean but because it already feels like I'm wholly ignored and that people don't care enough to actually involve themselves, comment, care, and whatever else directly. This has been the prevailing feeling for months now and while I know it's mostly my anxiety and depression twisting things to be something unrecognizable it's not the only thing or reason (nor is it an entirely baseless feeling) and I'm incredibly worn down by it all.

I can only do so much under my own steam and I've finally reached a threshold that I cannot reconcile so I'm asking for help even if you just like....gush or something. I'll take fuckin anything at this point, so long as you don't hide when you do it and be genuine. Do it for me, if you please. It's not much to ask for and I rarely ask for such things, especially in such a personal and honest manner.))

#;;ooc: mun muttering #negative tw #this is basically a creative cry for help ffff so if you love whatever I do just..... tell me earnestly; help me remember what I'm here for #usually I can work through this sort of thing myself (or with a few close friends) but that's not working this time; #nor is trying to focus on the space and muses I've worked hard to cultivate here after everything that happened on my og blog #so... yeah just a boost please; earnestly and sincerely I'm asking proverbial hat in hand #even this post is a tldr; rendition of what I want to type but I'm trying to remain succinct and most importantly hopeful #and the longer I go on or explain things the worst I'll feel or be reminded just how bad it is here so ....yeah. succinct