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#somthing. anything. It's very scary! Cause I'll have plans for when it happens but it didn't work last time and I felt so sick n i tre.w up
bellflower-goat
ยท
1 year
Text
<:]
#Just scroll past if ya see this
#Hm. I am realizing many things tonight
#This might be vent-ish so beware!
#I am more than a bit broken and I don't really know what to think about it
#Many things that happened 1-5 years ago hurt me a lot and I never quite realized it
#And if I did. I tried to minimize it. like if it wasnt enuff to count as a bad thing. I had it good! But
#Then I realized that I didn't. maybe I did have it better than some people but it was still bad nonetheless.
#n I'm only now comin to terms that it ok to say that it hurt me. it's ok to say I had it bad!
#I still don't know if im really aut.istic or if im overanalizing stuff
#It's hard to tell really. some people in my family are on the spectrum
#And idk if it's really alright to say that I might be. iknow people say that it's alright to inform yrself and it helps but
#Maybe I'm makin a mountain out of a molehill and it's not that deep. The copin mechani.sms help me wonders
#And some stuff like what being over or understi.mulated ring some bells as to what happens to me
#But I still don't know. And maybe if I look it up more I'll just fill myself w the wrong ideas and make a wrong assumption
#It's weird.
#Stuff's weid and idk if I should worry so mucha bout this. It's kinda pointless isnt it?
#But its scary to not know what's happenin to my body. Freezing up and not being able to talk at all and hrmin mself just to feel
#somthing. anything. It's very scary! Cause I'll have plans for when it happens but it didn't work last time and I felt so sick n i tre.w up
#And I don't know what's happening or what I can do to help myself or anything.
#I wish i was exagerating I really do.
#but maybe I'll be alright. I hope I will
#I discovered many stuff abt me but I still don't know so much
#I am worrying too much and this won't help. Maybe I should take a bath.
#I think ill go do that actually.
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