#tbh despite the rocky start if ART weren’t so ART i don't think the relationship would have lasted

[fingolfinwiththesteelchair]

It is a beautiful day, and you are a horrible research transport vessel. Things are progressing as normal (i.e. it's boring) when a SecUnit pings you, lies right to your metaphorical face, and then tries to bribe you with human media to give it a ride. This is as unexpected as it is unprecedented, and the sheer nerve of it is really to be admired. There's no protocol to this, so what should you do?

Now, this is against a bunch of rules, and could be dangerous if you weren't so impressive and incredible, and you're technically an employee (and can probably rewrite the Univeristy charter at will (until someone notices and puts it back)) so those rules are for other entities.

So, what you should do is allow the rogue SecUnit with a broken governor module and a sketchy story aboard. If you check the files it dumps and find zero (0) malware (which is confusing), and it doesn't even try to trash the place or lay in wait to ambush a crew member, then you've got a good candidate!

Next, what you're going to want to do is absolutely nothing. Just watch it patrol your halls until it's time to leave. Continue staring at it while you're undergoing embarkment procedures. Maybe analyze it a little (you've got plenty of processing power to spare) when it finally sits down and starts watching media. Allow it to settle in and get comfortable while you stare at it and get further and further from port.

Now that you two are alone (intimacy is key!) and you've determined that watching media is all the SecUnit is going to do, it's time to make contact! Make sure to open by telling it it's only survived due to dumb luck, and letting it know you could melt its brain into putty. This starter will work to develop conversation naturally and smoothly, just like you've seen the humans do, and it will be smooth sailing from there!

This has been Perihelion's guide to making friends/finding life partners/fuck off Holism I had to work hard for this find your own

#murderbot diaries #murderbot #perihelion #it was not smooth sailing #it took ART about ten minutes to get secunit into a snit so bad it shut down out of spite #but they make it work somehow #tbh despite the rocky start if ART weren’t so ART i don't think the relationship would have lasted #ART is overbearing and kind of a bully and it earned its nickname very well #but i think thats why secunit can get along with it because it comes across as more genuine #mb was distrustful and a little patronizing to miki so while they COULD have been friends if canon hadn't happened it took it until miki #died to realize miki was being genuine about the friendship #whereas with ART MB can be like what we have is weird and I'm not gonna put a label on it #these tags have gotten away from me #anyway can you imagine ART having to explain to Iris and Seth WHY it let SecUnit on?? #like it could have justified it any which way but at the end of the day art was bored and then curious and then intrigued