#that's code for getting hit hard by the stressy depressy again

[vypcr]

hi besties I’m tired </3

#negative tw #[ooc] #that's code for getting hit hard by the stressy depressy again #idk just getting hit hard by a bunch of shit today out of nowhere #like a lot has happened over the past two years and basically the only friends I have in actual proximity to me live two hours away #so I can't go see them all the time. plus everyone is busy so we're lucky if we get to hang out once a month. #my best friend moved across the country last year and didn't tell me about it in advance or say goodbye #and we didn't fall out or anything and I should be over it but damn. idk. #the fact that I was at his house literally the day before he left to bring him a birthday gift and he said nothing to me about it #that shit hurt in a way I can't really explain. he was basically like my brother we grew up together. and then poof he's gone. #and I guess I didn't matter enough to be told about it lol #then the few other friends I had I kinda just. stopped associating with. mainly because they wouldn't return the energy yknow? #I felt like a permanent third wheel. #so really I'm grateful for the friends I've made here online because sometimes y'all are really the only ones who #don't make me feel like I'm alone 24/7 #I mean that with every ounce of love in my body. y'all don't know how you've helped hold me together this year. #but that's where my anxiety is a bitch because it's always this back and forth of like #one minute I feel like I'm not doing enough to reach out to my friends. the next minute I feel like I'm annoying. #which is literally just my brain being a bully. it's been like this for me for as long as I can remember. #idk fam I just needed to vent a minute I hold this shit in too much. back to shitposting now. #ignore<3 do not perceive <3<3