#there's something so cinematic about the way dream snakes out from behind the hill

[xlardx]

fuck man i gotta share this somewhere

so i’m on vacation in this old ass lake house that my family has been going to for the past 30 years or so. I’ve been coming here since i was a baby, for two weeks every summer. My grandparents recently sold their jet skis so i’ve had no way of getting out on the water and frankly i’m pretty bored of this stupid place anyway. I came up with one of the dumbest, riskiest, and possibly most dangerous ideas i’ve ever conceived. Usually ideas like this get laughed at and scrapped, but not this time. I wanted to sneak out around 2 in the morning, go out to the private beach, and skinny dip. Originally, i was just going to go out and stand on the beach, but hell, where’s the fun in that? So, at around 1:40 in the morning (I was too anxious and excited to wait until 2), on my last day of vacation here, I fucking did it. I opened the downstairs door as quietly as physically possible. My parents and brother were all fast asleep, and I could still here my dad snoring in the living room almost right above me. The loud air conditioning kicked in right as I went to open up the door, giving me additional noise coverage that had fabulous timing. I slipped out the door and closed it behind me and boom- I was out of the house. My legs were shaking worse than they had in a long time- it was my first time sneaking out, after all. I had a towel under one arm and my phone flashlight in my hand. Holy shit.

I got down to the water cautiously- a labyrinth of hills and trees and leaves and possible snakes separated the house from the beach. After a few of the scariest minutes of my life in which I kept chanting to myself “this can’t be real, this can’t be real”, I made it down to the water. It was absolutely fucking gorgeous. The sky was clearer than it had been in recent memory, and the stars shone through like diamonds. The moon was on the other side of the tree coverage, but it still cast down rays of light through the holes in the foliage. A smokestack in the far distance was lit up almost cinematically- it was the one of the prettiest man-made structures i’ve ever seen with the lighting it had. The water was dark, yet each little ripple reflected light from the stars. God, it was so perfect. The waves were peaceful. The only thing you could hear were the bugs in the distance, calling you out for a mate, and the beautifully natural sounds of the beach. I fell in love, but it was still hard to fathom that I was even standing there in the first place. I remembered my foolhardy plan and went to kick off my flip flops and take off my clothes. I hesitated for a good minute- what I was doing was stupid and unnecessarily rebellious, but at the same time, it felt meaningful in some obscure way. I bit the bullet after my paranoia was positive that no one was around to see me and took off my clothes. With shaky hands, feet, and nerves, I stepped into the water. After it had reached about knee depth, I sat down and just about immersed myself in the black expanse. I was afraid to go any further simply because I had no idea what was out there, especially at night. I had no flashlight, no lifeline, and an endless list of reasons as to why I should have just ran back up to the lake house and prayed for forgiveness. Still, though, I sat there and let the water seep into every part of my uncovered body. It was amazing. Then, truly, is when I was able to enjoy my surroundings. The place that I had grown to know so well after going there for 14 years was entirely different at night- different things were accentuated, new sounds arose, and I had none- zero- physical restrictions. Lightning struck in the distance and lit up patches of clouds miles and miles away from my resting place, but it was accompanied by neither thunder nor rain. It only added to the beauty, but at the same time, I believe it was one of my motivations for getting out before I was there for too long. Eventually, my paranoia returned and I was terrified- simply terrified- of getting caught in the position I was in. With reluctance, I stood up in the water and felt more vulnerable than I’ve felt in a long time. I was naked and cold and so utterly exposed- my mother would truly have been ashamed. I clambered up the shore with zeal, dried off, and threw my clothes back on. I had sand covering my feet which spread to my shorts, but I knew i’d be able to wash it out once I got back inside. I checked my phone: 1:51 AM. I undressed at 1:42. Not even a full ten minutes. I felt like a coward in that moment but hell, it was better than getting caught by sneaking back in right as my little brother finished using the bathroom, right?

It was bold and stupid and beautiful and risky- I returned inside and washed my feet off, all the while still trying to remind myself that what had happened was truly real and not just a dream. It was unlike anything i’d ever done before and anything I thought I was capable of. When I climbed back into bed after covering all my tracks and being certain that I had gone undetected, I sighed in satisfaction. I had done something that I was certain would become a slight trend as high school began. Something to remember and relish. Something to look back on in twenty years and smile about. It truly was beautiful and I somehow don’t regret it in the slightest. Next year, I’m sure I’ll be doing it a hell of a lot more.

#wow im so edgy #okay actually tho that was insane #am i a bad christian child #am i on drugs