#we're going to the vet on Monday (hopefully we'll get an appointment) because maybe it's a sign of his back problems getting worse

[ayakashibackstreet]

Honestly though it fucking sucks how years of trauma have made me unable to trust my own perception of things?

For months I've been telling mum I hear something scratching and moving inside our walls, she told me not to worry about it and that I'm probably imagining it, so sure! She's right! I'm imagining things! Nope, actually, it was rats. I only got her and myself to believe me after our neighbour spotted them climbing up into a hole in the wall right above our door.

My dog had an attack where all his limbs went stiff and he begun to basically scream. I called out for mum to come, when she managed to wake up and come to my room, he was already fine. She told me I'm exaggerating, that he probably just had a weird dream (as if I haven't slept in the same bed as him for years and don't know what that sounds like). And you know what, sure! My dog has problems with his back and joints and that sound was horrifying, but she's right! I'm exaggerating! Nope, actually, today my aunt called us in tears because my dog did that while on a walk with her and she was absolutely horrified because 'the sound was unlike anything she's ever heard before'.

I'm literally pretty much always right with stuff like that but I keep brushing it aside because, well, I never know things, obviously. After all, I'm just a person with an anxiety disorder and PTSD, I'm probably exaggerating 90% of things in my life.

Guess my brain's more willing to accept the fact that I'm having auditory halucinations than the fact that maybe I'm right and maybe something is moving inside the walls. Which, hey, that fucking sucks.

#My dog's fine now by the way #I rushed over to their place and by the time I got there he was very excited to see me and wanted to jump up onto my lap #we're going to the vet on Monday (hopefully we'll get an appointment) because maybe it's a sign of his back problems getting worse #idk man I guess years of being gaslit will do that to you ahahahaha #anyways sleepy time