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asmadison · 5 years

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When You Least Expect It ~ @EddieCole_ @SydMarlow

I had a rare day off, but Eddie didn’t. I decided to get the grocery shopping done so we’d have more time together this weekend. I brought the first load of bags in and set them on the dining room table before getting the rest. After I got all the bags inside, I slipped off my shoes. I was always happier barefoot. Too bad it wasn’t the safest way to walk around the Quarter.

I grabbed one of the bags and was about to carry it into the kitchen when I heard water. Eddie was at work, so why would there be water running? Leaving the bag on the table, I made my way into the kitchen. I saw the water on the floor too late. It must have been a leak under the sink or from the dishwasher. Maybe the fridge I thought as my foot twisted out from under me. The last thing I remember is falling backwards. My head hit the corner of a cabinet just before everything went black.

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I picked up my phone and sent a text to Fi. Then I texted my sister, checking on her and my niece. We went back and forth for a few minutes before I glanced at my watch. I thought Fi would have responded by now, but figured maybe she was driving home from the store.

I set my phone to the side and turned up the radio, listening to a few older songs play as I prepped some of the food for tomorrow’s catering job at a local hotel. I glanced at my watch again. It had been over 10 minutes already, surely by now she would have gotten home? I picked my phone up and called her. No answer, so I left her a message. I hung up and decided to give her a few more minutes, I didn’t want to crowd her.

When another 10 minutes had passed, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I tried calling her again but nothing. I told Tony, one of our pastry specialists, that I needed to run out for a bit. Since it was quiet and things were in good shape for tomorrow, he just waved and told me he had everything under control.

I drove home and saw Fi’s car parked out front. I hurried inside to find out if she was okay. As I got to the door, I called out, “Fi? Babe?” When I didn’t get any response, I made my way through the living room and into the kitchen. I lost the ability to breathe when I saw Fi laying on the floor of the kitchen, surrounded by water. I moved to her quickly and carefully knelt down beside her. “Fi, babe, can you hear me?” When she didn’t respond, I tried talking to her a few more times. I let out the breath I was holding when she opened her eyes. “Hey, I was starting to worry.”

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Groaning as I tried to open my eyes, I slowly reached towards Eddie's voice. He took my hand and pressed it to his cheek. “Hey, I was starting to worry.” My mouth felt so dry. It took me a moment to answer him. “What...what happened?” I started to try to sit up, but pain shot thru my eyes and my ankle throbbed. I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears that threatened to spill.

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I carefully eased her head up and slid my leg under her so she could prop her head on my leg. “I’m not sure. You didn’t answer my texts or calls, and I started to worry so I came here to see if you needed help with anything. I called out but you didn’t answer, so I started looking for you. I found you like this. There’s water all around you. I think you might have slipped.” At least I hoped that’s all it was. I noticed she squeezed her eyes shut, “I think we need to get you to a doctor. The er is a little ways away, but the clinic isn’t too far from here.”

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“Maybe the dishwasher,” I pointed towards it. “It must be leaking. Or the fridge. We need to turn the water off.” I was trying not to cry. I knew it would only make my head hurt more. I didn't want to go to the hospital. But my head hurt so much. Then I tried to move my right foot, but it just throbbed harder. “My right ankle. I don't think I can walk.” I felt silly and helpless as I lay there with my head in his lap, squeezing his hand in mine.

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“Okay, so here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to carefully pick you up and carry you to the car. But before I do that, I’m going to try and get some of this water out of the way so I don’t slip. Will you be okay just for a second?” When she answered with a quiet “yes”, I pulled my shirt over my head and balled it up. “I’m going to put my shirt under your head so you’re head isn’t laying on the hard floor.” I carefully slid my leg out from under her and replaced it with my shirt.

I grabbed a mop and tried to quickly clean up the water, then turned the water off. The groceries would have to wait. Once that was done, I leaned down and carefully picked her up. “I’m sorry. I know you’re hurting. I’m trying to be gentle.” I carefully made my way out to the car with her in my arms. Once she was in the car, I grabbed a spare shirt I had and slipped it over my head before getting in and driving her to the clinic, all the while asking if she was okay and trying to keep her talking to me.

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I couldn’t believe that what should have been a simple task had me in so much pain and on my way to the clinic. I kept apologizing to Eddie like I did this on purpose. Every single bump in the road sent shockwaves of pain through my foot and my head. I did my best to keep my eyes shut and try not to cry. Feeling this vulnerable was not a feeling I liked….at all. Poor Eddie. He was trying his best to drive while trying to keep me awake in case I had a concussion. Once we got to the clinic, I convinced him to park and grab one of the wheelchairs for me. I had a feeling he was going to try carrying me enough as it was depending on what was wrong with my ankle or foot.

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Even though I thought it would be quicker for me to just carry her in, I did as she asked. When I went inside to get a wheelchair, I told the lady behind the desk what happened, or what I thought happened. Then I quickly made my way to the car to get Fi out. I locked the brakes on the wheelchair and helped her out of the car and settled her in the chair. Once I knew she was all set, and had her purse, I wheeled her inside to talk to the receptionist. All the while, hoping nothing major was wrong and trying not to get overly protective. I was mentally kicking myself enough already for not going home and checking on her sooner.

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I tried not to flinch as Eddie helped me into the wheelchair. I might have grabbed his arm a little too firmly. He must have said something to the receptionist when he got the chair because we were met by a nurse right away. She directed us to an exam room and waited while Eddie helped me move to the exam bed. “So it sounds like you took a bad spill. I just need to get some information and take your vital signs before the doctor comes in, ok?” I forced a smile and reached for Eddie's hand. She ran through a series of questions about any medicine I might be taking, any health issues before my accident, and when my last period was. “Um...I don't remember.” She smiled and told me not to worry before taking my blood pressure (which was a little high), my pulse and my temperature. “The doctor will be right with you,” she said before stepping out.

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After the nurse left, I squeezed Fi’s hand gently, “Are you okay? Do you need anything?” I wasn't sure what to do, I felt helpless. She was in pain, and there wasn't any way I could take it away. “I'll call Kyle or Logan when we get home, see if they know anyone who can come and check out the leak, someone who knows what they’re doing.” I wasn't sure if any of that mattered to her, but I figured it couldn't hurt for me to tell her I'd take care of it. That way if she was worried about it, she didn't have to.

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Before I could thank Eddie for thinking ahead like that, there was a knock on the door and a lady who seemed familiar stepped in. “Hi, Serafina? I’m Sydney Marlow. You can call me Syd. I hear you took a pretty bad fall.” I tried sitting up a little but it just made my head hurt even more. “Yes, I’m Fi. Have we met before?” She smiled and nodded. “I think you were here when Mandi and Wyatt had their baby. You’re Eddie, Mandi’s brother, right?” He nodded and squeezed my hand. “Can you tell me exactly what hurts?” I gestured to the back of my head and then Eddie showed her my swollen ankle. I don’t remember a whole lot that happened after that. She shined a light of some kind in my eyes, and it almost made me pass out.

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When I checked Fi’s eyes, they seemed to be responsive and her pupils were the same size. I asked Eddie to help her sit forward a little so I could look at the back of her head. There was some bleeding and a slight lump, but I didn’t think there was a concussion. I grabbed a gel ice pack and wrapped it in a towel before having Eddie help her lay back with the cool pack under her head. “Does that help?” She closed her eyes and nodded a little with a quiet “thank you.”

“I’ll get you something to take as soon as we look at your ankle.” I carefully pushed her jeans up so I could see her foot better. She whimpered when I touched it. “I’m sorry, Fi. I’ll try to make this quick. Take some deep breaths for me, ok?” Eddie leaned down and whispered something to her that seemed to help. They took several deep breaths together as I examined her ankle. “I don’t think it’s broken. It’s probably a bad sprain. I’d like to get a quick x-ray just to be sure. Eddie, do you think you can lift her into that wheelchair for me?”

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I nodded and took a step towards Fi, “Yes ma’am, I can.” I leaned down and slid my arms around her, picking her up. When I turned to place her in the wheelchair, I gave her a quick kiss. Once she was set, I stood and walked behind her, taking a hold of the chair. “If you’ll lead the way, I can push her. Unless I don’t need to follow?” I wasn’t even sure Fi would want me to go with them, if I was allowed. I didn’t want to seem like I was taking over her or being pushy.

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I tried not to flinch when he picked me up. His kiss was so light that it nearly brought me to tears again. Tears I couldn’t afford to shed. Not when my head was finally starting to hurt a little less with the ice pack. I whispered “Love you” before he let go of me completely. I reached up to place my hand on his as Syd directed him towards the x-ray room. Once we got there, she asked him to have a seat. Once she had my foot set for the x-ray, she explained, even she had to step out of the room to take the picture. He kissed me once more and reassured me that he’d be right outside before reluctantly taking a seat.

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I wheeled Fi into the x-ray room and carefully helped her move to the table. “This might hurt but I’ll be as quick and gentle as I can.” She nodded and forced a smile as I turned her foot and laid the x-ray plate where I needed it. I then placed a heavy protective apron over her chest, abdomen and upper legs. “I noticed that you weren’t sure of your last period. Is there any chance you could be pregnant? There’s no need to worry about this x-ray if you are. I just need to make sure I prescribe the right medication if any.”

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I sighed and looked around. I couldn’t help but wonder if something was wrong. It shouldn’t be taking this long, should it? I couldn’t sit still. I got up and paced...and paced. When there was still no sign of Fi or her doctor, I sighed and sank back into the chair, tapping my foot as the seconds ticked by.

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If there was a more uncomfortable position for my foot to be in for this x-ray, I couldn’t imagine it. I did my best to stay still while Syd placed the heavy apron on me. I almost didn’t hear her question. “I don’t think so? I’m sorry. I can’t concentrate with this headache.” “That’s ok, Fi. I can just give you a quick blood test. Let’s get this x-ray over and get you back to that ice pack, ok?” I gave her a grateful smile and held still while she stepped out of the room and took the x-ray.

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Once I took the x-ray, I asked our technician to send the results to me as soon as they were ready. I helped Fi take off the apron and get back in the wheelchair. Then I wheeled her out of the room to where Eddie was waiting for us. “We should have the results in a few minutes, Eddie. Why don’t you take her back to the room, and I’ll get what we need for that blood test while we wait?” I reminded him which room we were in and told them I’d be with them shortly.

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I stood the minute I heard the door open. “Yes, ma'am, I can do that.” I walked behind the wheel chair and leaned down, kissing Fi's head. When Syd walked off, I began pushing the chair back to the exam room, “Everything okay?” I had thought I heard Syd say something to Fi about a blood test, but wasn't sure. Why would she need one anyway?

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He was so gentle and careful as he lifted me out of the chair and laid me on the exam bed. I closed my eyes once the ice pack was back in place numbing my headache. “Something about making sure I’m not pregnant before she gives me any medicine. She said it was a standard precaution since I can't remember my last period.” I took his hand and tried not to move while we waited for Syd.

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I knocked on the door before walking back in. “How's that ice pack feel, Fi?” I asked as I set the supplies down to take a sample of her blood. “Better. Thanks.” “Good. Any problem with needles I need to know about before I take a sample of your blood?” She laughed a little when she said no. “Just relax and focus on Eddie.” I checked her arm for a good vein, tied off her upper arm and then wiped the spot off with alcohol. “This might sting a bit.” A few moments later, I had a vial of blood, and Fi had a bandage in place. “I’m going to drop this off and check on your x-ray. I’ll be right back.”

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As Syd left, I gently squeezed Fi's hand. “I'm so sorry, Fi. I should have been there to help you. If I had, you probably wouldn't be hurt right now.” I hadn't meant to say the words out loud. But once they were out, there was no taking them back. I meant my apology, more than anything, but I wasn't sure now was the time to voice it. I had meant to wait til we were at home or at least in the car going home. I didn't want her to feel like it was forced or that I thought that's what she wanted to hear.

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I pulled Eddie’s hand against my cheek. “Babe, you have nothing to apologize for. There was no way we could tell from the outside that there would be water all over the kitchen.” I’m just glad you came to check on me. If you had been with me, we might both be still sitting there waiting for help.” I laughed a little at the image of both of us in a heap on the kitchen floor. “I’m gonna be fine. I promise.” He sighed softly as he brushed the hair from my eyes and then leaned in to kiss me. Moments later there was a knock, and Syd walked back in with some papers.

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When I returned to Fi and Eddie, I had good news. “I have some good news. I saw your x-ray, and there is no break or even a slight fracture. You just have a bad sprain.” I smiled when they both seemed relieved. “I’ll wrap your foot in a compression bandage and give you some crutches. I’ll need you to try and stay off it as much as you can for a few days. The bump on your head and your ankle should be better fairly quickly. The only negative is that I can’t prescribe anything stronger than Extra Strength Tylenol for you.” Fi seemed confused and glanced at Eddie. I set her file on the counter since I had already triple checked the results. “Darlin’, you’re pregnant. About six weeks based on your hormone levels.”

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My head shot from Fi to Syd, “Did you say pregnant?” As Syd nodded, I turned to Fi. I opened my mouth to say something or at least that was the plan. The last thing I remember, before the blackness, was the floor quickly rising to meet my face.

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If he had been holding my hand any tighter, he would have pulled me off the bed and onto the floor with him. Syd motioned for me to lie still and quickly moved to his side. She shoved a pillow under his head and called his name. My heart was racing so fast that I didn’t even feel any pain from my head or my foot anymore. I was too worried about my boyfriend lying motionless on the ground. “Is he okay?”

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I remember thinking that was not what I expected as I hurried to Eddie’s side and made sure he didn’t do any serious damage to his head before slipping a pillow under him. “Eddie? Come on, darlin’. Open your eyes.” I lightly patted his cheeks and shook his shoulder trying to wake him.” “Is he okay?” I looked up at Fi. “He’s gonna be fine. You just stay put and keep that ice on your head. I’ve only got two hands.” She smiled a little and kept her eyes glued on Eddie. Finally after calling his name again he started to moan. “That’s it. Open your eyes for me, Eddie. Nice and easy.”

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I groaned as I opened my eyes. At first I was confused as to where I was and who was leaning over me. “Syd?” At her chuckle, I slowly sat up. “Easy, Eddie.” I nodded, “I’m fine, honest. I swear I heard you say that she was pregnant. Did you?” Syd grinned and nodded. I looked up at Fi, watching her face carefully. Until I knew how she felt, I wasn’t going to give any reaction...well more than I already had!

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I watched quietly as Syd helped Eddie up and slid a stool underneath him so she could get a better look at his head. Guess she didn't trust him to stay on his feet just yet. I closed my eyes as I lay with the ice pack under my head. My hand slowly reaching out for his. “I think we should make a pact that only one of us can fall per month or something,” I tried teasing him even though I wasn't sure I was joking. Pregnant? I was afraid to open my eyes. What if he didn't want kids? What if he felt like I trapped him?

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Once I made sure that Eddie was ok, I decided it might be a good idea to give them a few minutes alone since her pregnancy seemed to be a surprise to both of them. “Don't move off that stool, Eddie. I’m going to get a pair of crutches for Fi and an extra bandage. I’ll be back in a few minutes, ok?” I grabbed a bottle of water from the mini fridge and handed it to Eddie before leaving them alone.

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I took the bottle from Syd, thanking her quietly. When she left the room, I looked over at Fi and took a sip of the water before placing the bottle on the counter. “Penny for your thoughts?” I waited for a moment, but she didn’t say anything or open her eyes. I slid off the stool and stood beside her, taking her hand. “Fi? Are you okay?”

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I squeezed his hand, but my voice felt so small. “I don't know what I am. Are...are we okay?” I swallowed and turned to look at him. “I swear I didn't know. I….I didn't plan this. I wouldn't do that to you. To us.” I was so scared that this was going to push us apart. I don't know if it was the shock or the bump on my head. I couldn't shake the feeling of overwhelming dread that Eddie didn't want any of this.

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I squeezed her hand softly and brought her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles, “Fi, we’re fine. I promise. I know you didn’t do this on purpose. The thought never even crossed my mind. It was just a major shock to both of us. But we’re fine, really. I’m just worried about you. You haven’t been saying much of anything, well before then. I need you to be honest with me though, Love. What’s going through your head right now? How do you feel about this...development?” I wanted to tell her that everything would be okay, that we could do this. But I didn’t know if she wanted to do this. I didn’t want to push her to do something she didn’t want to just because she thought I wanted it. I needed to know how she felt about all of this before I told her how I felt.

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I remember thinking “hormones suck” as he kissed the back of my hand because my eyes started to tear up. “So much is running through my head that I can't catch any of it.” I tried sitting up a little, but the ice pack shifted and made me flinch. “I can't tell if I’m excited or scared or happy or just in shock. All I know is that I love you, and I want to go home.” I was trying to be honest. I really had no idea what to think.

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I smiled, “It's okay to feel all of those things. This is a major change for us. I love you too, Fi. I'm not going anywhere. I promise.” I fixed the ice pack behind her head and then kissed her softly. “When Syd comes back, we'll talk to her and then head home. Promise. And we can stop for a snack or dinner to take back. We will figure everything out. For now, let's get you checked out and taken care of. One step at a time, Love.”

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I kissed him back. The touch of his lips grounding me in the present...at least for the time being. “First things first, huh?” I smiled briefly and squeezed his hand. Syd knocked a few minutes later and walked in with crutches and a bandage. “Hey. You guys doing ok?” I looked up at Eddie. “Mostly? Really just want to go home.” She smiled, “Let's get you bandaged up. In two or three weeks, I want you to come back and we’ll have a proper prenatal visit. Right now, let's focus on having you rest and stay off your foot for a few days. Focus on healing this sprain, ok?” I exhaled softly as I laced my fingers in Eddie’s. “I think that's probably a good idea.” I tried not to move while Syd wrapped my foot.

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I held her hand as her foot was bandaged and listened as Syd reminded her again to stay off her foot. I chuckled quietly to myself as I wondered how many days she was actually going to do it. I looked at Syd, “I promise I'll take good care of her and make sure she rests.” Syd smiled and nodded. She handed Fi a bottle of prenatal vitamins and told her to take one a day. I made a mental note to set an alarm to remind myself to get them for her. I listened to every instruction as Syd continued to talk to Fi.

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Prenatal vitamins. Wow. I just kept staring at them in my hand until Eddie gently took them from me and slipped them in my bag. “Fi, Syd asked you a question.” His voice startled me out of….wherever my head went. “I’m sorry. What did you say?” Syd carefully moved the ice pack from behind my head. “I asked how bad the headache was, darlin’.” Headache. Right. “It's better. Not great, but better.” Syd turned to Eddie, probably because I was so out of it. “Extra strength Tylenol is fine. You can give her ice for her headache and ankle once you get home. After a couple of days resting, she should be good as new.” I know he responded, but I have no idea what he said. All of a sudden, it hit me that my fall could have been worse. “I….what….the...um...the baby….,” I didn't know how to ask, but the look on my face must have spoken loudly enough. Syd rested her hand on my arm. “I gave Eddie a list of things to watch out for, darlin’. Spotting, bleeding, cramps. Not being able to wake you up. Just a precaution. Try not to worry.”

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I could tell by the look on Fi’s face, that she was already worrying. I took her hand and squeezed it softly, “Hey, no worries. Syd took really good care of Mandi, and I'm sure she'll do the same by you. We aren't going to let anything happen, Love. I promise.” I softly kissed her hand. I wasn't sure I was doing any good as far as calming her down and easing her worries, but I was trying.

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Syd grabbed the wheelchair while Eddie helped me sit up slowly. They got on either side of me and helped me get seated so Eddie could take us home. I thanked Syd and took the crutches from her. “Get some rest, Fi. Call, text, email me no matter what time with any questions or concerns, ok?” I gave her a slight smile. “Thanks. I will.” Eddie gave my shoulder a light squeeze and wheeled me out to the front so he could go get the car.

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I brought the car around and helped Fi from the wheelchair to the car. Once she was settled, I took the wheelchair back inside and quickly returned to the car. I slid behind the wheel and buckled my seatbelt, starting the car. “Are you okay? Do you want or need anything before we head home?” I carefully pulled onto the road and merged with the traffic.

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I was so relieved to be heading home. If my headache wasn't so bad, I think my head might have spun. Once Eddie got back in the car, I slipped my hand into his before he started driving us home. “Are you okay?” His voice startled me. “Better. Just….wow.” Eddie tried not to laugh, but I couldn't blame him. Better than the alternative, right? “Do you want or need anything before we head home?” I looked over at him. “We should probably get something to eat, huh? I’m not really hungry, but….?” I shrugged with a slight smile and lightly rested a hand on my stomach. “Don't think I have a choice.”

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As I stopped at a light, I leaned over and kissed her cheek, “Maybe we could stop and get something to take home. You don't have to eat right away, but it will be there when you get ready for it. You're still in shock, we both are, so you don't have to rush to eat. When we get home, you'll start to relax a little and maybe you'll be hungry then?” I started driving again when the light turned green. I wasn't going to force her to eat if she wasn't hungry. She had been through a lot today, and I didn't wanna add to her stress.

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He was trying so hard to make things easy on me. I gave his hand a squeeze. “I don’t think I'm up to going inside anywhere right now,” I laughed as I gestured to my bandaged foot. “So getting food to go is probably a good idea. Not sure it matters whether I’m hungry or not for the next few months.” He glanced over with the oddest look on his face. “Um….,” I started to laugh nervously. “Eating for two?” I looked down at my stomach, then quickly back at Eddie. “ It better just be two of us. Please tell me multiples do not run in your family.” I was so tired and sore and….overwhelmed that everything was funny at the moment. I guess it was better than the alternative which would only make my head hurt worse.

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I couldn't help but chuckle, “Well, I did have this distant cousin who had triplets.” At her shocked intake of breath, I couldn't help but laugh more. “Fi, I'm just kidding. Honest. There have never been any multiples in my family. At least not to my knowledge.” I pulled her hand to my lips and kissed it. “So, the question at the moment, is where do you want food from? Or should it be any weird cravings yet?” When I glanced in her direction, I was glad I was driving and she couldn't get even with my joke at that moment. As I drove, I was glad to hear her laughing a little, though I wasn't sure how long that was going to last.

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One of these days, when I was feeling better, I was definitely going to have to get payback for his twisted sense of humor. “Something messy and bad for us? Like…..um….bacon double cheeseburgers with cheesy fries?” Although I wasn’t hungry, not really, eating something that was rich and fattening and messy sounded like the perfect meal to have when you find out you are unexpectedly expecting. Sorta like drowning your sorrows which weren’t really sorrows in something that was definitely not alcoholic.

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I nodded and headed towards our favorite burger place. “Do you want to call ahead and put our order in? That way we won't have that long of a wait. I think a bacon double cheeseburger and cheesy fries sound good.” I was hoping that getting something to eat would help how she was feeling. Right now, I was worried about Fi. I knew the news of her being pregnant was a surprise to us both, but I didn't think it was a bad one.

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“Sounds like a good idea,” I said before kissing his cheek. I slowly reached for my phone in my bag near my feet. Luckily the number was in my contacts since it was a favorite of ours. I placed our orders adding two chocolate shakes which got a chuckle out of Eddie. After thanking them, I told him it would be ready in 15-20 minutes. “Milkshakes are calcium, right? Totally justified.” I dropped my phone back in my bag and rested my head against the back of the seat, closing my eyes as he drove.

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I chuckled as I stopped at a light, “If you say so, Babe.” I watched as she closed her eyes, sighing quietly. I was worried about her, for more than one reason. The fall, the pregnancy shock, it was all a lot to take in at one time. As I hit the gas when the light turned green, I realized I didn't know how she felt about being pregnant. Was she happy, sad, scared, mad? I didn't want to bombard her with questions. Now wasn't the time. I knew that. I also knew eventually we would talk about everything; we always did. I just had to give her time to process everything.

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I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I remember was the smell of food and Eddie shaking my shoulder gently. “Hey,” I smiled as I rubbed my eyes. “Sorry I fell asleep on you.” Eddie chuckled and leaned in to kiss me. “You stay put. I’m gonna take your bag, crutches and the food inside and then come get you, ok?” I nodded and left my belt buckled so he didn't think I’d try anything dumb.

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I made the quick trip inside and set everything down and out of the way. One more bag added to the rest of the groceries. First things first. I returned to the car and smiled as I got there. I opened her door and knelt down, “Hey, you ready to head in?” When she smiled and nodded, I leaned forward and kissed her. “When I go to scoop you up, slip your arms around me and hold on. I promise I won't drop you, even going up the steps.” I picked her up, kicked the car door shut, and headed inside with her. “Living room or bedroom? You pick and I'll take you and come back for our food.”

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My head rested against his shoulder while he carried me inside. I would have been content to stay right where I was when he asked me where to next. “Couch is fine. Thanks.” He gently laid me down and quickly tucked some pillows behind my back and under my foot. “Could you get me some Tylenol from the bathroom, babe? I can probably take it now that we have some food.” Food….shit! “The groceries!”

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“Relax, Love. I’ll take care of them. You first.” I headed to the bathroom and got the Tylenol. Next was the kitchen to get a bottle of water before returning to Fi’s side. “Here ya go, Babe.” I opened the bottle and handed it to her along with the medicine. “You just relax, and I’ll put the groceries away quickly. Then I'll go get the plates and stuff, okay?” I didn't want to be overly pushy. I just wasn't sure what she wanted or needed right now. Did she want to be alone to process everything? Did I? No, I didn't. But that didn't mean she didn't.

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“Thanks,” I smiled as I took the bottle and read the label a little more closely than I ever had before. I shook two caplets out and set the bottle on the coffee table before swallowing the Tylenol with a swig of water. After taking the meds, I closed my eyes and rested my head against the back of the couch.

I must have nodded off. “Babe? Are you still hungry?” I opened my eyes and saw Eddie standing there looking at me. “How can we not eat now? It smells so good,” I smiled as I looked up at Eddie. His face. He looked….I’m not sure how to describe it. Scared? Nervous? Confused? “Honey,” I said as I took his hand. “Breathe. Please?” I tugged him a little closer and reached up to kiss him. Pressing my forehead to his while still keeping hold of his hand. “I’m okay. We’re okay. We’ll figure this out. I promise. Right now, let’s just pretend it’s a stay at home date night and enjoy our food. Deal?”

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I kissed her again and smiled, “Deal. I'll be right back. I'm gonna grab the plates, napkins, and forks. While I do that, why don't you find us something good to watch?” She smiled. “And an ice pack for my foot?” “You got it.” I kissed her once more and went to gather everything for our dinner. Once I had everything, I headed back to the living room.

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I reached for my milkshake and the remote while Eddie got our plates. My headache was starting to go away, but I didn't feel like watching anything I had to concentrate on. When he returned, I gave him two options. “Food Network or whatever movie is currently on Syfy even if we’ve seen it.” He laughed and busied himself with getting our food on plates and sneaking me cheesy fries while doing so. “Ladies choice,” he said with a grin once we had our food. Somehow he had figured out how to balance my legs and a small pillow across his lap while letting my ankle rest on the ice pack on the other side of him. “You are quite talented, babe,” I laughed as I turned on the sci-fi movie and handed him his milkshake.

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c4a1234-blog · 6 years

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Don Burke - Australia’s Harvey Weinstein

For almost two decades Don Burke was one of the most powerful men in Australia's entertainment industry. His popular gardening program Burke's Backyard was a ratings juggernaut for the Nine Network until it was unceremoniously axed in 2004.

But now a major Fairfax Media/ABC investigation can reveal that behind the scenes those who worked with Burke claim he was a "psychotic bully", a "misogynist" and a "sexual predator" who indecently assaulted, sexually harassed and bullied a striing of female employees.

"He was a vile, vile human being," said Bridget Ninness, a former producer on Burke's Backyard, who later launched legal action against Burke for psychological abuse. "He was lewd and he was crude" and his constant talk of sex was "designed to confront you and to demean you", she said.

Louise Langdon, a former researcher, was subjected to ongoing harassment by Burke which included trying to remove her top, and on another occasion Burke "put his foot into my rear end, with the view to checking the tone of my ... my backside". He then stated that the firmness of her "backside" wasn't "up to scratch".

"I loathed him, he was just a pig. He was lecherous and sinister," said another former researcher who alleges she was indecently assaulted by Burke.

Even David Leckie, the former chief executive of the Nine Network, said he wasn't surprised to receive our call about Burke. "I've been trying to think of Harvey Weinstein-type people [in Australia] and the only one I can ever come up with is Burke. He was a horrible, horrible man," he said.

Unlike Weinstein, Burke is not accused of rape, but the more than 50 people interviewed during this investigation have made serious allegations about Burke's actions.

"Don Burke was a disgrace because of his behaviour internally and externally," said Sam Chisholm, Leckie's predecessor at Nine.

Chisholm, a stalwart of the industry, also described Burke as "terrible grub". Asked if he felt the network had done enough to rein in Burke's behaviour, Chisholm said he didn't know.

Did anyone ever come to him personally about Burke? "Probably they did, but I don't know. It's a long time ago," he said.

"I think the public that have loved him should know the real Don Burke," said another former highly placed Nine executive. "If Harvey Weinstein's been outed, Don needs to be outed."

However, in a written response, Burke angrily denied comparisons to Weinstein. "I loathe the reported behaviour of Mr Weinstein and hope that the legal system deals with him in such a way as to prevent this happening again.

"The bitter irony is that I have had a life-long opposition to sexism and misogyny. Burke's Backyard was a lone bastion of anti-misogyny since its inception in 1987," said Burke.

"He is a high-grade, twisted abuser," said Ms Ninness, who eventually settled out of court with Burke's company over "sustained and systemic psychological abuse" in the workplace.

Burke was "two people", explained a former male crew member. There was the genial gardening guru on camera who was "very, very good at what he did". But off camera the real Burke was described by many of those interviewed as a psychopathic narcissist.

"He was an absolute sexual predator. He was a bully. He was horrible to people in the office. He would often have women in tears. He used to take great delight in it. It was like sport to him," said the former male crew member.

When journalist Tracey Spicer announced that she was investigating the behaviour of powerful Australian men in the media in the wake of America's now infamous sex scandal involving film mogul Harvey Weinstein, she was inundated with reports. One name kept recurring – Don Burke.

Among those who came forward was Ms Langdon, now a psychologist who lives in the United States. In 1987 Ms Langdon, then 27, was working as broadcaster Alan Jones' personal assistant when she landed a job as a weekend producer for Burke's gardening program on radio 2UE. She later became a researcher at Burke's Backyard.

"I was told before I went to meet Don that he was sleazy and to be careful," she said. "I was quite shocked about that because the only Don Burke that I knew was the affable Friday night Burke's Backyard gardener.

"So I thought, 'Oh well, how bad can it be?"'

As it turned out, nothing could have prepared Ms Langdon for what was to come.

"Dealing with Don Burke was an endurance test in terms of his persistence in commentary about anything sexual," she said.

On one occasion, while the pair was working at the radio station, Burke insisted she watch a video. To her horror it was a video showing a woman having sex with a donkey.

Ms Langdon was upset and disgusted. "Don was getting so much pleasure from seeing my reaction to it ... I was just, just ... speechless," she said. "I was really overcome."

Louise Langdon when she worked with Don Burke at 2UE. Photo: Supplied

Burke also subjected Ms Langdon to harassing behaviour – flicking her bra straps and lifting up her shirt to see the colour of her underwear. During a work trip in the Northern Territory he allegedly tried to remove her top.

"I was sitting next to Don on the bus and he decided that it was OK for him to put his hands on my T-shirt and try and pull my bra strap, my bra off and try to somehow remove my clothing. He was trying to take my top off," Ms Langdon said.

During the interview Burke said, "Our nickname for the receptionist is 'the fat c---', so make sure you call her that".

"I think he was testing me to see whether I would be shocked," the woman recalled.

The researcher said Burke had been telling her about a cocktail party he was going to that evening. "'You know what I love about cocktail parties?' he mused. 'It's the name tags. I get to grab women's tits while pretending I can't read their name."'

Burke was already standing uncomfortably close to her during the conversation when "suddenly he made this move and grabbed me, grabbed me hard on the breast. This was not a clumsy, oafish move. It was a calculated action. That is what was scary. It was premeditated. I jumped back. He sneered. 'You've got small tits, no one would want to touch your tits'."

Wendy Dent was employed as an entertainer when she met Burke at the Melbourne Garden Show in 1995. Burke came over, kneeled before the 21-year-old who was wearing a fairy costume, and asked to be granted a wish. In front of the crew and onlookers, Burke opened his eyes and said, "It didn't work. You've still got your clothes on."

Months later, when she had moved to Sydney, Ms Dent took up Burke's offer to audition for the show. Over the phone Burke was flattering, telling Ms Dent she had "real charisma" and great potential. "You definitely have got what it takes for TV," he told her and, what's more, he was "the No. 1 in the business" and he could make it happen.

He said "well, you'll have to audition, but you'll have to be topless".

As a result, she decided she wanted no part of this "sleazy slummy industry".

"These men become dream killers and I lost a career," she said.

One former crew member recalled Burke spotting a group of schoolgirls, aged around 14, holding a puppy.

"He stopped and chatted to them and said, 'Do you want me to show you how to hold the puppy properly?"'

Because it was the legendary Don Burke, one of the girls said, "Yeah, that'd be great."

"He showed them how to nurse it close to their chest, keep it nice and warm," the crew member recalled. "When they walked away he exclaimed: 'Give me three!'

"I said, 'three what?' He boasted that he had stroked her nipple three times while showing her how to hold the puppy," said the crew member.

Despite numerous complaints to Nine executives, both male and female employees were told to soldier on. "There was an institutionalised acceptance of his behaviour and it was actually not just an acceptance, it was an institutionalised enabling," said researcher Louise Langdon.

Leckie confirms that there were complaints made about Burke but suggested he heard them second-hand. "I am not going to mention any specific girls or anything like that," he said.

For one young television writer, the comments Burke made about a young female relative were the last straw. It was the late 1980s and the reporter was 21 when she first went off to interview one of Nine's biggest stars.

Burke continually interrupted the interview with lewd comments such as "I bet you're a demon f--k". The next year she was reluctant to interview him again, "but he was a very, very big star back there and I think that's what people need to take into account".

The second year Burke not only invaded her personal space but made suggestions as to what sexual positions she might enjoy. He also openly stared at and commented about her breasts. It was as though his body language was "I am staring at your boobs and I don't care if you notice, that's what I'm going to do", she said.

Her innocuous question about garden gnomes led to a vulgar comment from Burke about the size of his "cock". Her third encounter with Burke, an interview at his Kenthurst home, was her last.

When Burke said he had bought a horse for a young relative "because I love watching her rub her c--t on its back," the reporter snapped the tape off.

"I was absolutely and utterly repulsed by the man, I felt compromised, I felt violated, I just felt disgusted.

"I took the tape recording to the head of publicity at the time and said I want action. And the next day I received a bunch of flowers and that was the end of it."

There was no apology from Burke and no action was taken against Burke, who told Fairfax Media and the ABC that the story was a "total fabrication".

In 2004 Burke was unceremoniously dumped by the Nine Network after more than 17 years hosting Burke's Backyard.

Over those years countless employees allegedly suffered from Burke's bullying, lewd behaviour and sexual harassment. The network's failure to do anything to rein in Burke's behaviour leaves a bitter taste for many. "Every single person in management ... has known about Don Burke. Every male manager. There is not one that does not know," said a former Nine staffer.

Even the male managers found his incredible ego and narcissistic behaviour impossible to deal with, said the staffer.

"But in terms of the sexual harassment stuff, they didn't really give a damn. He was too popular, he was just too popular a celebrity," said one former senior employee at the network.

Another long-term male producer on Burke's Backyard said that management told staff "to suck it up because it was the No. 1 rating show, the cash cow for Channel Nine".

"Lots of women I know just left. There was a huge staff turnover," he said. "He had the power, the profile and the tacit backing of Channel Nine."

However, the Nine Network refused to accept any responsibility for Burke's behaviour. Questioned about claims that the network turned a blind eye to complaints and failed to take any action to protect their staff from Burke, Nine issued a statement saying: "Burke's Backyard was a production of CTC Productions and they employed and managed all staff."

However, some of Burke's worst behaviour allegedly occurred while the program was produced at Nine. In late 1991 Burke took over the production of his popular gardening program.

Nine also said they could find no records of complaints or payouts to any women in relation to Burke's behaviour.

One woman who did complain paid a very high price.

"He got off on terrorising [female researchers]. Women were his playthings and he loved seeing them shocked by his behaviour and language," said producer Bridget Ninness, who worked at Burke's Backyard for more than seven years from 1990.

Bridget Ninness worked as a producer for Burke's Backyard for more than seven years. Photo: ABC

On her first overseas trip as a reporter, Burke turned to her and said that if everything did not go smoothly, "I'm going to rip your f---ing head off and shit down your throat".

Ms Ninness was so nervous and upset she vomited. When she complained to the head of news and current affairs Peter Meakin, she alleges he said she needed to have "broad shoulders".

Fucking coward - Burke also claimed for the first time that he has Asperger syndrome, though he said it had never been medically diagnosed. He said he has trouble looking people in the eye and responding to body language.

#don burke #Feminism #Weinstein Effect #Burkes Backyard #Hands Off

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sarahjbowman · 7 years

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Yesterday we drove into Sydney to say farewell to Chubby as we dropped her off at the Travellers Autobarn. After a very sad goodbye we Ubered into the city centre to settle at our new home at Backpackers HQ. In keeping with the huge amount of signage you see across Australia, the hostel was breaking no moulds. Passive aggressive signs, threats of fines and rules staring us in the face wherever we looked. At least we were greeted by a friendly receptionist... hmmm. After 10 days of couscous, pasta and gnocchi with some variations of tomato sauce, we committed ourselves to finding a good ole burger restaurant. Trip Advisor directed us to Chur's bar and boy was it good. So good that I even forgot to take a photo of it first, it was gone in seconds. Within our first afternoon we actually managed to see a lot more than we thought we would, it turns out Sydney isn't all that big. We stumbled across Tumbalong park (and an unexpected rice market), Paddy's Market with cheap and wonderful tat and trinkets, Darling Harbour, King Street Wharf, Barangaroo Reserve providing panoramic view of the city over the water, The Rocks, Sydney Bridge and the slightly underwhelming Opera House. When our legs couldn't carry us anymore we headed to Redoak brewery, a beaut little boutique bar in Surry Hills to try their tasting boards of delicious caramel and honey ales. Bram and Jochem (the chaps we met from the previous campsite) were also in Sydney for the weekend so they joined us for a few bevies before we all moved on to find our next establishment. We didn't have to venture far, when we found a gem of a bar right next door. Spawn Point, Sydney's first ever gaming bar. It felt like we had entered someone's birthday party. Everyone there knew one another and were chatting away, enjoying the numerous games consoles that surrounded the edges of the room. I've never felt so welcome in a bar though, they called us in, arms wide open and sat us down to compete against the other teams. Turns out I'm pretty darn good at Rocket League. It was midnight before we knew it and with 10% battery between us we had to beat the clock to get home. Luckily Becca's internal satnav is locked onto the shops we see throughout the day so we soon made our way back and crashed out at the hostel for the night. Today has been jam packed with much more walking, dining and coffee drinking. We woke up bright and early to make it to the free tour at 0930, which turned out to be at 1030... thanks Becca ; ) Over breakfast we met Helen, a lovely girl from Germany bravely travelling solo across the east coast after just finishing college. We made plans to head to the tour together where we were overloaded with information in the 2hr walk around through the city. I have to admit, I never knew there was such a rich and interesting history here. Our super enthusiastic tour guide definitely did a good job at putting the record straight there. After departing the tour we headed to The Rocks weekend market where we found 200 stalls stretching from George Street to Playfair Street and Jack Mundey Place selling arts and crafts, locally manufactured clothing, handmade jewellery and many gifts and trinkets. After dragging ourselves away, kicking and screaming, we went to explore the Botanic Gardens via the Sydney Opera house. We obviously needed to snap the obligatory tourist photo. The gardens were filled with vivid flowers, but in keeping with the trip so far, the winds were high and the clouds were grey. Not a great set up for all the panos I wanted to take, but beautiful non the less. After exploring the grounds we went off to fine the Australian Heritage Hotel (as recommended by our tour guide) to try out the Coat of Arms and The Australian pizzas. I'll leave it to you to think what they could have been topped with. Super yum. Now catching some shut eye before another super busy day tomorrow. Fitting as much in as we can before leaving for Cairns on Wednesday.

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rueur · 7 years

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Morning Pages #23 (31.01.2017)

Tuesday 31st Jan - 10:26 a.m.

So I just registered in three out of four of my subjects for the upcoming semester. Registration isn’t open for one subject because it’s a second year subject and registration for those will open up on the 2nd of February, which means I’ll be doing this all again in two days time, this mass anxiety right upon waking. I haven’t brushed my teeth or gotten dressed or eaten yet, I’ve just been sitting at my computer waiting for 10 o’clock, and then getting myself all ready (mentally) for the new semester. I have to get myself in a state of mind where I can commit to the timetable I’ve set up for myself. I always need to remind myself at some point that’s usually embarrassingly early into the semester, that I’m here of my own will and that I’ve decided these hours for myself. This is all my doing. I guess that’s more or less accurate in regards to the tutorials, but not so much when it comes to lectures. Lecture times are decided by the lecturers, really. It’s whatever times suit them best, or whatever times out of a handful of times (decided by the university) suit them best. They at least get some say in it, whereas students get none, because it’s socially acceptable for students to skip lectures but lecturers kind of need to be there. That’s another thing, I’m aiming not to skip any lectures this year. I mean, if I need to be elsewhere then of course I won’t prioritise the lecture. I’m talking more about not giving in to apathy. I will make an effort to attend all lectures and not be lazy about heading into school. I’ve kind of already thought up a plan that’ll compel me to go to lectures, and that is that in my timetable I haven’t set up one ‘lecture day’, like a day that’s entirely lectures and thus, becomes an optional day in my week. Instead, I have at least one tutorial across the three days I’ll also have lectures, so if I miss that day I will also be missing a tutorial. Which is a lot more serious than missing a lecture.

So far, because of my early rising and my ingenious organisational skills, I’ve managed to get Wednesdays and Fridays off, so those two days have now become potential working days, if I do manage to get a job. Moreso, I’ve secured myself three-day weekends for the next four months. Hopefully. We’ll see what class times are available for my last subject. It’s making me really nervous that my timetable won’t be 100% sorted before Thursday, because of this one stupid second year subject. Goodness, okay no it’s not stupid. It’s Environmental Politics, and I’m actually really excited for it. It’s a very important part of my minor, which is hopefully going to become the basis for my honours work. Or my Masters. We’ll see. Anyway, if I were to get the perfect time for that tutorial, it would be on a Thursday afternoon, or anywhere from 11 to 4 on a Thursday. Because as it is currently, I have a FIVE HOUR GAP between my first class on Thursday and my last. That gap is definitely going to encourage me to go home and not deal with my Thursday evening lecture, and that won’t do.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to get a job too. I have the time to work right now, I should be utilising that time and making some money. I need money, I really do. My Greek textbook is going to cost a little over sixty dollars, I looked it up. That’s essentially one myki 28-day pass, I can’t afford to spend that money on a book. I have about $750 to live off of for the rest of the year, and that is nowhere near enough, especially considering that ASOS is having a sale right now and I’ve been too tempted to just buy a whole bunch of REALLY CHEAP TOPS. I’ve sent an application to Woolworths again, and I received my application outcome with ALDI (not good), and I think I’ll go back to applying to clinics now, because I suppose my medical receptionist training should be put to some use. I just really...really don’t want to do it. I don’t think I’d like working in a clinic at all. The last time I worked in an office it wasn’t too enjoyable for me, but then again that was with my dad and it was in this dusty, old converted warehouse in Tullamarine. Tullamarine was always an odd-sounding name for a place to me, especially considering that’s where Melbourne airport is. Is it not funny that a place famous for being the location of an airport also has ‘marine’ in its name? Is that only just me, like I know that’s funny.

I took a break from writing because Emily sent me a message on Facebook asking me to housesit again this weekend. Just from Friday to Monday, because she has to go back to Sydney for some work. She said she’d give me fifty dollars for the three days or so, which is pretty sweet. So, right after I left I’ll be finding myself right back in Northcote with the lovely, furry boys! It’s actually pretty lovely, I think. I didn’t get to say goodbye to Romy properly before I left, because I had just vacuumed and he was hiding under the bed. I left a treat on his back though, and patted him briefly through the bedposts. I’m just a little curious about what it’ll be like moving back down for only a weekend. Last time I was there it was a month-long stay, and I had so many things with me, so many of my belongings. This time around I can quite easily just take one bag along. Hey, I’m seeing Evan again this weekend, and he’ll have a bunch of questions for me, I think. He’ll be all ‘I thought you’d moved back to Mill Park’ and I’ll be all ‘I have, yeah, because I’m living out of one bag now in Northcote, because the owner had to go back to Sydney for like three days after her month-long trip to Sydney’. This is a very adorable, rather hilarious situation. If she travels enough this year, I can just live off of housesitting for her, to be honest. That beats being a deli worker at Polaris.

I’m nearly at the end of this second page. My dad just started praying in the upstairs living room and I have become very self-conscious of the sound of my typing. My typing is actually quite loud right now. I feel like I should take a longer break until he’s done praying, just to be courteous. So I will.

Matt just made an event on Facebook, letting everybody know that he’s bringing his show ‘The Face of Gentrification & Other Ideas’ to Perth, so I invited Rowan, Nicole and Sinisa, who are people I know in Perth, to the event. Rowan and Nicole I met with Ikaros on a train home from the city last year. It was the Viola Migration: Ikaros and I had just come from the Burnley campus, collecting the last of my violas. Rowan and Nicole had gotten on the train at Southern Cross, most likely having come straight from the airport. They were staying in Melbourne with some friends for a couple of days, they said. They got off at Heidelberg, but the whole time there we were having some pretty lively conversation amongst ourselves. Ikaros and Rowan were essentially the SAME PERSON, just one was ten or so years into the future. Keeping aside the fact that they both had red hair for just a minute, I will also say that they had a very similar world view: they were both somewhat cynical, both realists with an avid interest in future technology and space travel. Every time Rowan said something that I knew Ikaros has said to me before, I gave Ikaros a very knowing look which he either returned, or also sometimes blatantly ignored (or tried to ignore) when Rowan said something that was so obviously something Ikaros also believed in. Sometimes Ikaros recites something he believes so often that I make fun of him after a certain point, for bringing it up again with an equal enthusiasm he displayed the first time he mentioned that thing. Whenever Rowan mentioned one of these more infamous beliefs that the pair shared, it seemed that both Nicole and I recognised those beliefs as a standard Rowan/Ikaros belief, something everybody who knew them had heard too too often. The whole exchange was fantastical, honestly. It was like Ikaros had met a kindred spirit.

When Rowan and Nicole got off the train at Heidelberg station, Ikaros and I decided to get off too so that we could catch the bus back to his rather than lug all of the violas up the hill. The bus, however, was gone for the day, so we just went back to making conversation with Rowan and Nicole whilst they waited to be picked up by the people they were going to be staying with. Rowan offered to buy one of my violas and I said ‘nonsense!’ and just handed them one, which they said they’d be gifting to the people they were going to be staying with. Rowan also actually ate one of the viola leaves on the train because I mentioned they were edible. Nobody else did despite my revealing this information. Viola leaves are actually pretty tasty, they’re just like spinach. Anyway, after the plant was handed over to them, Rowan also suggested we all add each other on Facebook. So Ikaros took a picture of his I.D. and we looked them both up once we’d gotten back to Rosanna. All in all, it was one of the more memorable train trips I’ve ever had, and Ikaros and I know we have good friends in Perth.

I’m tempted to just go to Perth and catch Matt’s show, maybe say hey to Rowan and Nicole, and then head home again. It’s a pipedream, I think, a very short-term pipedream. If Malith is down to drive all the way to Perth, I think it’d be pretty fun though. Malith, or I could drive too, and get some more hours. It’ll be in February, like two weeks before school starts again. We could very easily just drive to Perth. I don’t know! I just want to make the most of my time off!

I’m going to the Abbotsford Lentils tonight to catch Rhiannon. She has a gig there with two other people. I’m going to take the 901 to Greensborough and the train from there on the Hurstbridge line so I can see Ikaros for a little bit. He needs to give me my sunglasses, because I left them at his. I mentioned this yesterday. He’ll be with Cameron this afternoon, but I’ll be seeing him around four, hopefully. Today will be a pretty sweet day, I think. I’ve missed Rhiannon like crazy! It’ll be so lovely seeing her again after all this time, properly hanging out with her rather than catching her on a passing train and waving violently from across two platforms.

#23 #31.01.2017 #morning pages

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