a-productive-manor

[a-productive-manor]

wip wednesday

on wednesday, for once! thank you for the tag @hellektr0​ and the excellent, enticing snippets. tagging @a-productive-manor​ @antaris​ @parera-zuul-jar​ @damejudyhench​ @bitchesofostwick and anyone else who’s writing? <3 here’s more Max, that’s my life now

Miss Holcomb was an innocent, just as she appeared. Max could extrapolate from her anxious enthusiasm, from the cluelessness which matched her eagerness, that she had never once considered stepping foot into an establishment like the Lost Hope. Before her rather desperate attempt at receiving counsel, of course.

The bar was a watering hole for sweaty spacers, stevedores, and sprat-wranglers, and smelled like it. The sawdust-strewn floor soaked up biological remnants best left unidentified. Tables sat sticky and stale with spills, and the din of drunken discord, of confrontation and camaraderie alike, was an endless, robotic loop of bedlam. A player piano strung with barbed wire.

Evangeline ushered Miss Holcomb in, and tossed her own bitcard to the bartender before anyone could protest–not that Max would have done so. Soon they each fisted short cups of straight Spectrum Red. The young mechanic’s threatened to overspill with her trembling before she knocked it back in full. The Captain insisted.

Max observed and sipped from his own. The shudder and retch from Miss Holcomb he expected, after such a display. Evangeline only poured more, unfazed and unaffected. Her fortification, when it came to spirits, was a sight to behold.

If he excelled at confessional listening, then Evangeline was a master. She never interrupted and frankly did not appear to process a single word. The now-less-innocent Holcomb talked her own way through her troubles. It was for the best. He could hardly imagine what advice Evangeline might conjure, and his imagination, when it came to her, was superb.  

#wip wednesday #juniper-tree #apmwrites

[a-productive-manor]

Last Line Meme

Been a while since I did one of these so thank you for the tag @dafan7711. Aaaaand, the last line I wrote is on my Skyrim fic, The Sleeping Dwemer’s Guide to Tamriel

I shifted restlessly under the bedclothes as the thought made me ache with longing—I might be over seven thousand years old, but I wasn’t dead.

😂

I’ll tag everyone over at @a-productive-manor, and @beckily, @rhunae, @curiousartemis, and anyone else who wants to play

#last line meme #Helygen Writes #Skyrim

[a-productive-manor]

Awkward Sex Tropes

Here’s a handy dandy list of awkward but realistic things to incorporate into your writing if you want to make your smut more appealing…*

1. cleaning up the mess  2. “oops, I thought this was someone else’s"  3. unsexy/unflattering noises/smells/tastes/textures 4. "where did it go?” (can be combined with number 1 for full effect)  5. “OW! FUCK!” (cramps/pinched nerves/bad backs/getting kicked in the face/“wrong hole”/lockjaw/TMJ/carpal tunnel/tendonitis/etc…)  6. bad strip tease/unskilled clothing removal 7. distracted by something thoroughly unsexy needing to be done instead (like laundry, or tidying, or taxes, or planning a battle/siege)  8. the reverse…getting horny while doing your taxes (is this awkward enough? this seems like pure romance)  9. scheduled sex  10. “the dog/cat/spirit companion/home surveillance device/Elf on the Shelf is watching…"  11. "It’s fine. I can just do it myself…"  12. "I’ll do that thing that you like…” “Yay…” (unenthusiastically)  13. taking too long  14. wandering mind(s)  15. “that’s not my name…”  16. inadequate grooming (fingernails, in particular…shudder)  17. stomach growling “that smells…better than this sex we’re currently having"  18. acting out sexually on food stuff (the messier the better…bonus points if it’s spiteful) 19. too drunk to make it work  20. uncomfortable mattress/bed/couch/futon/sleeping surface 21. squeaky bed 22. finding something weird in the bed (a rubber chicken? a child’s toy? a spider? a dead animal left by your cat? actual poop?)  23. breaking the bed (is not as sexy as it sounds)  24. sex toy runs out of batteries (or fantasy equivalent – PSA: always check your batteries/mana pool, ppl) 25. "we might as well…"  26. overfrought consent/reassurance  27. explaining a kink  28. narrating a climax  29. trying to be quiet/trying to be loud/trying to achieve a certain very specific decibel level to your love-making (the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health does not recommend anything over 85 dB) 30. trying not to laugh/trying to make your partner(s) laugh  31. other bodily functions adjacent to sex

*…to what may actually be a very niche group of people like me and the people who helped me compile this list from @a-productive-manor: implicating both @paraparadigm and @eranehn from the @parera-zuul-jar, @funkypoacher, @grumpkinvicky​, and our dear friend Sarna (who isn’t on tumblr but also writes very good realistic and sometimes awkward smut).

Please feel free to add to this list, use it for prompts, inspiration, or just completely ignore it. Because writing about sex (or a lack thereof) is a matter of personal taste and preference. ❤️

#writing prompts #lemons #not safe for work #awkward sex tropes

[a-productive-manor]

Throwaway Thursday

Got a sentence, paragraph, or even a whole chapter that met its fate on the cutting-room floor? We want to see it!

#throwaway thursday

[a-productive-manor]

Throwaway Thursday

Got a sentence, paragraph, or even a whole chapter that met its fate on the cutting-room floor? We want to see it!

#throwaway thursday

[a-productive-manor]

Throwaway Thursday

Got a sentence, paragraph, or even a whole chapter that met its fate on the cutting-room floor? We want to see it!

#throwaway thursday

[a-productive-manor]

Throwaway Thursday

Got a sentence, paragraph, or even a whole chapter that met its fate on the cutting-room floor? We want to see it!

#throwaway thursday

[a-productive-manor]

Throwaway Thursday

Got a sentence, paragraph, or even a whole chapter that met its fate on the cutting-room floor? We want to see it! 

#throwaway thursday

[a-productive-manor]

You know what to do! Don’t forget to @a-productive-manor​ so we can share your work!

#WIP Wednesday

[a-productive-manor]

You know what to do! Don’t forget to @a-productive-manor​ so we can share your work!

#WIP Wednesday

[a-productive-manor]

I dunno if this counts for Trivia Tuesday for @a-productive-manor​, but I’ve been trying to figure out my world state for The Witch and the Warden, and this guy is pretty important, so I artbreedered him (and edited in some elf ears)…

Darrian Tabris

During Origins, he wooed Morrigan with his snarkiness, impatience for foolishness, and his cheekbones. They did the Dark Ritual so Alistair wouldn’t sacrifice himself, the idiot…then, after leaving Vigil’s Keep in “good hands,” he lived snarkily ever after for a few years with his little family.

Within five years of defeating the Archdemon, Darrian begins to hear the Calling and has to reluctantly say goodbye to Morrigan and Kieran. This is what he might look like after a decade hunting Darkspawn in the Deep Roads. If he weren’t presumed dead…

[a-productive-manor]

It’s time for Trivia Tuesday! Give us 5 random facts about the project you’re working on, or a favorite character (original or borrowed)! tagging @alicy-sunberg33​ @fandomn00blr​ and @r2smuse​. Don’t forget to like this post to add yourself to the tagging list! And also don’t forget to @a-productive-manor​ with your post so we can share the wealth and reblog :)

#apmtalks #trivia tuesday

[a-productive-manor]

Welp, I Guess We’re Back Wednesday

or, as it’s more commonly known,

For our slow easing back in to scheduled posting, we’re going with an oldie-but-a-goodie. Show us what you’ve been working on! Any kind of creative endeavor: writing, crafting, or visual art. Make sure to @a-productive-manor​ so we can share the wealth!

#WIP Wednesday

[a-productive-manor]

Hey, folks! It’s been a long, few (er, many) months for all of us, but we here at APM are trying to get back into regularly scheduled posting, prompts, and appreciation of our creators! First, however, we need to know whom we should be tagging. So, for our followers, just like this post (which will be sent around a few times this week), and you’ll be put on our to-tag list. Easy-peasy. 

#apmtalks #apmannouncements

[a-productive-manor]

Just a Name...

What if Morrigan got her world states mixed up during sex?

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26698993/chapters/65125843

(Or, as @eranehn of @parera-zuul-jar suggested…what if she could leave her alternate selves “memory infusions” in the Fade…?)

IDK…have some very short (like, under 500 words short), slightly smutty Dragon Age multiverse nonsense…inspired by some @a-productive-manor silliness!

Featuring Morriwall (Morrigan/Blackwall) from The Witch and the Warden and Morristair (Morrigan/Alistair) from Kieran.

#fandomn00blr #apmwrites

[a-productive-manor]

WIP Whenever

Era here with thanks for the tags from @juniper-tree​, @fandomn00blr​, and @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold​. I’m sorry if I’ve missed anyone during the blog shuffles! Tagging you back, and also @funkypoacher​ (I suspect I’ve missed a bunch of your stuff lately, I’m jonesing) and @serial-chillr​ (art WIPs count too!).

Uuuum so I actually started on a snippet for Scions. It’s…small. And not in order. But it’s the first step taken against burnout, and that makes me happy with it.

Excerpt

It was always like this in Era’nehn’s experience, traveling. Especially in the mornings before minds have fully come to terms with the waking world, when some item or landscape would leech a memory to the surface of her heart or a companion’s, and it would break across their face like the dawn, rising for everyone to see in all of its variegated hues. No one ever said anything, but they all understood it, and whoever was on breakfast duty would quietly deliver a cup of tea just a little too strong, and once the sun was firmly in the sky, if the afflicted happened to turn and find their tasks done, they would give a grateful nod and be warmly beckoned to the trail. 

#eranehn #dragon age inquisition #apmwrites #wip whenever

[a-productive-manor]

Six(ish) Sentence Sunday

Era here: Thanks for the tag, @fandomn00blr! I actually have more to share, especially because I’d been avoiding tumblr so much. I know I just tagged some people yesterday for WIP whenever…is it ok to be greedy for more of your content, @sarenkascrawls, @funkypoacher, @juniper-tree, @serial-chillr, @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold​ and yes @fandomn00blr​ again because listen. I wouldn’t be this insatiable if you weren’t all so good.

This is the beginning of a new episode in Hearthstones and Flightways, a group of shorts featuring Faendal, a Skyrim NPC who is ummm. Well. Ultimately incompatible with his love interests—until now….? Might have to add another tag to the work soon ;)

Excerpt

It was a grotesquely beautiful night. The stars had shone like enchanted diamonds in the velvet sky, their distant luxury mocking Faendal with a beauty he could neither reach nor afford. Masser still clung to the predawn horizon, his mottled carapace smothering the purpling mountains with a graceless display of ruddy passion.

Fae lifted his flask to the sinking hulk and bobbed his head. “Just let go already,” he advised with a twisted smile. “It’s not like you won’t see her again.”

It had only been a day since Vera left on some unknown job with Skyrim’s most dubious character, and the irony of that same character also taking Camilla hadn’t been lost. Different kinds of taking, perhaps, but variables didn’t matter when solving for life’s universal constants: in this case, his loneliness.

“Shit.” Faendal had exceptionally good hearing, but he didn’t need it; that voice had been sharper than his ears. It faded for a moment before the breeze picked it up and carried it even further. “Shitfuckshit, fucking bastard!”

Something about the expletive’s repetitive lack of eloquence snagged him, and he was heading for the mill before he knew it. It was a Nord woman; she was standing on the platform with her hands on her hips, squaring off aggressively with…a bottle?

#parera-zuul-jar #eranehn #skyrim #six sentence sunday #apmwrites