acidbathcat

[acidbathcat]

wish i had a big red stamp that said “Awesome” on it and i would stamp everything i thought was awesome

#the melatonin kicked in half an hour ago im so tired

[acidbathcat]

Lung in a box - the system is used to keep organs healthy during transport for transplantation.

[acidbathcat]

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

[acidbathcat]

[acidbathcat]

I LOVE YOU WEIRD LESBIANS

[acidbathcat]

where’s jacking off

what’s your preferred sleep aid?

• prescribed sleep medication

• marijuana (smoked)

• marijuana (edibles)

• over-the-counter melatonin

• chamomile tea

• a sleep aid not listed here (tags?)

• i don’t use a sleep aid/results

[acidbathcat]

*screaming*

#i missed the cat emoji at first #i thought this was about eat snacks in bed

[acidbathcat]

[acidbathcat]

Ann Demeulemeester fall/winter 2018

[acidbathcat]

i have forbidden fake fans from commenting on my posts btw because i was getting annoyed. sorry if this inconveniences

[acidbathcat]

4th Century Lycian Tomb in Fethiye Turkey

[acidbathcat]

why do i feel on edge i didn’t even do anything

#u know when ur forehead feels tight from frowning so much

[acidbathcat]

also watching gore/shock films doesn’t prove you’re tough or have a strong stomach or anything because there’s a screen between you and the horror. i know anyone who witnessed any of this irl would probably literally actually shit their pants and cry and have to spend a week in the hospital before they remember how to talk again. lol. so many 20 year old males proud of themselves for watching glorified snuff without puking. not to mention the target of the violence is always a woman or child. i can imagine that doesn’t feel too personal.

[acidbathcat]

looking at the descriptions of all these shock movies like a serbian film, trauma, salo, etc. so much of this is like. not nearly as horrifying as that interview i watched where an actual serial pedophile/rapist talked calmly about all the things he did to his son and the neighborhood kids. i wasn’t even watching the screen half the time just hearing it messed me up for a month. i don’t think any amount of visual effect rape or snuff porn can amount to that because i know it’s not real. you know. real life is always worse. and also i don’t really feel compelled to watch any of it because i think i’ve seen enough real life gore and violent porn that i can just piece it together in my head on my own.

and also once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. they are literally all the same. at a certain point you truly hit the limit of shocking film, and all they can do is stretch it out.

#tbh i liked cannibal holocaust cause it felt like they all deserved it #and there was some plot to work out as you watched. but other films are just like. #hey let’s show the rape scene again but this time bloody.

[acidbathcat]

[acidbathcat]

don’t you guys love when i’m TMI with you it’s like we’re at an incredibly one sided slumber party and i’m holding you all hostage

[acidbathcat]

the funny part about dildos is they all feel the exact same and only go in 4 inches[most seem to be massive] Most dildos are for guys because theyre the ones that can fit an entire horse sized cock up their asses

#i once bought one to see if i could fit it in me #uh No. #but that said. #i can’t fit much of anything in me.