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aestheticemi01 · 4 hours
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sh looks like ..
cutting
burning
hitting yourself
but it also looks like ..
unsafe sex
drug abuse
alcohol abuse
unsafe driving
starting arguments
accepting abuse
purposely isolating
self deprecation
and more.
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aestheticemi01 · 4 hours
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aestheticemi01 · 4 hours
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my anhedonia is eating me alive so i’m making these mental illness memes to cope
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aestheticemi01 · 5 hours
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i can’t do it anymore. i just want to give up on everything. i have nothing left to give.
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aestheticemi01 · 11 hours
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The brain is an organ. Mental illnesses are illnesses of that organ. Brain scans show that there is a physical difference between a healthy brain and a sick brain. Telling someone “You’re not really sick. It’s all in your head.” is like telling someone with asthma “It’s not real, it’s all in your lungs.” The brain is an organ that can malfunction as much as any other organ.
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aestheticemi01 · 1 day
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Moths are said to be lost souls traversing the night, and that is why they seek the light.
I have recently experienced a lot of death in my circle of people, and I feel far too young to be losing people like this.
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aestheticemi01 · 1 day
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- Unknown
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aestheticemi01 · 1 day
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Dear diary...
All of this feels so pointless...
I feel like I'm wasting my time here.
There's no point in me being here if all I ever do is suffer...
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aestheticemi01 · 1 day
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aestheticemi01 · 1 day
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aestheticemi01 · 1 day
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My dream for this year is to be dead……I don’t care how, just dead
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aestheticemi01 · 2 days
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20th Century Russian Poetry: Silver and Steel, ed. Albert C. Todd & Max Hayward (with Daniel Weissbort)
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aestheticemi01 · 2 days
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I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give There is nothing more for me Need the end to set me free
Fade to Black, Metallica
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aestheticemi01 · 3 days
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Max keeps the camaro. 
She tries to fix it up. Doesn’t know much about cars. She’s watched Billy do maintenance on the camaro countless times. She’s even helped him a couple of those times. 
But standing in the driveway with Billy’s toolbox open at her feet and the camaro broken and silent in front of her, it all seems impossible, like it’s too much. She’s at a loss. Has no idea where to start.
Neil doesn’t offer to help. He doesn’t look at the camaro. He hasn’t said Billy’s name once. He hasn’t talked about Billy at all. He drinks a lot. He watches reruns of baseball games till two in the morning.
Mom kisses Max’s head. She’s had tears in her eyes for a while now, it’s gotten worse since Billy. She tells Max, you’re doing a good thing for your brother.
She doesn’t say Billy’s name either.
Max goes to the library. Checks out books on car repair. Most of it’s out of her league, a bunch of gibberish she can’t understand with confusing diagrams, at least that’s what she thinks at first. She sits in the front seat of the camaro and studies during the morning, skin sticking to the upholstery that’s still got his blood on it and at night she sits in Billy’s room on his bed.
His room still smells like him. She’d always thought he’d smelled bad. Stunk like every boy does, but worse because he was Billy and everything is automatically worse because it’s Billy.
He never let her in here before. She’d sneak in sometimes just because. 
She pokes around his drawers and his closet. Under his bed. Trying to find something. She isn’t sure just what that something is though. 
Keep reading
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aestheticemi01 · 3 days
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Sometimes living with a chronic illness feels like dying an extremely slow death.
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aestheticemi01 · 3 days
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more scared of getting old than dying young
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aestheticemi01 · 4 days
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“I’m not fine as in “fine,” but fine as in “you don’t have to worry about me.””
— Dr. Gregory House
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