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akiko-uchiha · 3 months

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Theory time on the whole "ADA member transfers to PM" deal and why I genuinely think this was part of Dazai's plan (loooong post):

Based on what we have, I actually think we can assume that Fukuzawa, Ranpo, Dazai, all of the higher ups in the PM, and the govt. are aware of the deal and that Dazai will go back. Here's why:

Prior to Fyodor's arrest, Dazai had been maintaining an essentially crimeless record (and if he does do something morally questionable, he either had government backing from Ango, or was done in a way that can't be pointed back to him).

However, before anything could progress in S4, Dazai purposely put himself out in public to get arrested. I'd even argue that he had Ango purposely release some of his old crimes rather than it being written on the ripped page of the book (and if it was actually written in the book, then Dazai must have anticipated it in the first place because he knows Fyodor would do that).

This idea is further cemented by the fact that Ango, Mori, and Chuuya are actually aware of what Dazai is doing (more than the ADA even). Dazai had contacts in and out of Mersault ready before his arrest.

To make these plans in the first place, Dazai had to have talked to (at least) Mori and Ango. This would have to be roughly around the same time as when Mori and Fukuzawa made a deal. What if all of this was just one meeting?

Because let's face it. Fukuzawa only saying "except Yosano" was such a red flag moment. If there was anyone Mori would have wanted back in his control, it would either be his angel of death or his demon prodigy. The conversation must not have ended there...

Also, why was this deal even created in the first place? I feel like there could have been a different agreement, and this just looks like an excuse to get Dazai to go back. Fukuzawa agreeing with this deal is out of place is weird because he knows what the PM is like. Why would he subject his employees to experience working there?

Dazai may have actually purposely put himself up for the taking for a future enemy that needed him back in the PM. Back in his hometurf with all the manpower he could command and to give soukoku the free reign they had once again (without the limitations of the law on Dazai).

So anyway, now we have Dazai with his crimes leaked, which would have been fine alone because it could be played off as part of what was written on the page, but then he kills some guards in Mersault and commits jailbreak, along with several other crimes in just 30 minutes. In addition, he is clearly shown to be working with Chuuya, a well-known criminal, who has also committed several crimes while there.

Say what you will about Mersault security (which is actually good but just couldn't keep the demons on hold lmao), but they would 100% have records of what Dazai had done there. Even if he could be considered crimeless before, he can no longer be called crimeless again now. His actions here are beyond the manipulations of the book. To have these crimes (in France) erased would require the government to have an agreement with another country and to have Dazai go into hiding for some time again (doable, but troublesome).

That leaves us to the fact that Dazai is back to willingly committing crimes and partnering up with Chuuya as Soukoku for an extended period of time. All of these acts are known to Mori and Ango.

This implies that the choice had been made prior to S4, and this is why Dazai could do all these crazy schemes.

This also clears up why Ranpo and Fukuzawa no longer consider Dazai in the ADA roster recently. Not because they don't care for him, but because he is secretly no longer part of the ADA in the first place, and Dazai's safety is now under the concern of the PM.

Scarily enough, this could also possibly set up Dazai as the next boss of the PM in preparation for the next big enemy. One thing some people in the fandom noticed was that Mori had mentioned before that Dazai would become the boss when he turns 23. This fits in the timeline well because Dazai is several months (or maybe even weeks) closer to his 23rd birthday (or he may already be 23 right now). All of this may have been pre-planned.

Also, as a personal opinion on the other possible transfer candidates, they actually have better hold on the ADA and would not function well in the PM.

The PM would clash with Kunikida's ideals (though it would be interesting to have the future leader of the ADA be put in the PM the same way the future leader of the PM was employed in the ADA)

Tanizaki would be a great candidate, especially for his skills (and it would be interesting to have another redhead in the PM hahaha), but I highly doubt Naomi would take his transfer sitting down (Naomi would probably even attempt to join the PM) and, in turn, Junichiro would hate to bring his sister in the PM as well. Tanizaki's entire shtick involves his care for his sister, and taking that away brings him back to having no motivation to go crazy.

Atsushi is actually my 2nd option. Moving Atsushi to the PM would make him learn more about how the PM functions, and this allows SSKK to spend more time building their relationship. Chuuya could watch over the two of them as an aide to Dazai's mentoring, and this could lead to more character growth for Atsushi. Unfortunately, this voids Atsushi's plans to learn how to fight under Kunikida's tutelage, and the "no killing" deal with Akutagawa slightly lessens its impact because they would now be in the criminal organization rather than the opposing one (I'd rather have Akutagawa join the ADA tbh. This would further cement the "no killing" idea that Atsushi demands of him and build the SSKK partnership.)

Kenji is also a good bet, but the PM already has Chuuya, which makes having Kenji redundant. Kyoka would not return without at all out brawl and would actually waste all the efforts from S2. Ranpo would be insufferable lmao, and he is not made for Mafia types of strategy (he's smart! But he is not here for the manipulation and long chess matches. He doesn't have the patience for that when he can get straight to the point) and I'm not sure who in the PM he would have synergy with yet...he works best as a detective.

NOW, I may be wrong, because who knows what Asagiri will pull on us, and all of this is based on what is shown (I'm not sure if we could trust it lol), but this is the theory I came up with based on my understanding of events. Dazai planned to go back, and the tripartite knows of it.

Before anyone says this is a waste of Dazai's character development, I'd argue that there may be a misconception as to what Dazai is actually here to learn.

Odasaku knows that good and evil does not matter to Dazai. Dazai choosing to save people is not Dazai's character growth because he has ALWAYS been capable of that despite his unconventional means. The real character growth that Dazai needed was that there was a world beyond the darkness that he insists on putting himself in, and that he is capable humanity. Mori realized this too by proving the humanity in Dazai by chasing him out with Odasaku's death. Dazai has also realized this, and is now ready to return to his hellhole as a new man touched by the light. He is ready to be a leader, not the tyrant that he would have been without this lesson. Mori just prevented another insane mafia boss from taking the throne.

In addition, the PM has repeatedly been defined as the organization that protects the city in the dark. Being in the PM does not hinder Dazai from saving people (again, they've done so before while there). This might actually give him more power to move around and defend Yokohama more efficiently.

I guess this is it for now. I may have missed some things, but these are my main arguments for now hehe

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akiko-uchiha · 3 months

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A young woman in Poland DIED after being brutally raped and held at a knife point ON A GODDAMN STAIRCASE while people WERE PASSING BY!!!

Say her name! Her name was LIZA! No one helped her! A janitor found her injured and naked on said staircase, HOURS after the rape occured! She was 25!

Why is no one talking about this?!

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akiko-uchiha · 3 months

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This frame just accidentally came up in my TL, and I suddenly realized how context dependant it really is. If you don’t know the story behind it, i.e. WITHOUT any context, it’s actually such a lovely frame. What you have is a nice guy smiling softly and wishing another nice guy (Kurogane) good morning. Everything is fluffy and sweet and there’s no need to be alarmed at all.

But if you know the content of previous one hundred and something chapters, i.e. WITH context, you feel like falling into a bath of ice-cold water with broken glass while simultaneously being stabbed right into the heart with multiple daggers. Everything is dire and heartbreaking.

In theory you can say that about any frame taken out of context. But it just strikes me that THIS one could so easily be read as completely normal and insignificant. While it’s everything but THAT. Honestly, it’s been over a decade, but I still remember audibly gasping when I first read it and still have echoing sentiments about it. Tells you a lot when something so seemingly innocent and lovely may have such implications. Good piece of storytelling right there.

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akiko-uchiha · 3 months

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For the character ask game, how about Fay D. Fluorite! (Or maybe Qi Rong lol whichever you prefer).

Send Me a Character & I'll Tell You✨️

Fai D Flourite (Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle)

(please excuse my spelling variant, I've been using this too long lmao) (I might do Qi Rong tomorrow but alas I havta go to bed)

My first impression: tragically, I have no idea. It's simply been too long. This man has been living in my head so long that my love of him could get its driving license.

My impression now: I feel like Fai is the foundation of all my blorbos. The horribly traumatized self-hating little guy who pretends to be strong and cheerful for the sake of those around him and has strong Mom energy is basically the template all my other blorbos are variations of.

Favorite thing about that character: he's so good, for all that he thinks he's so bad. He cares so much in spite of himself. He loves his children so fiercely. He's also just hella clever.

Least favorite thing: No notes, 10/10, all of his bad traits are Important to the makeup of what makes him special.

Favorite line/scene: the infamous punch signalling the end of the divorce arc is great and probably my favourite happy bit, and for sadness that part in Acid Tokyo when Kurogane jerks away from him and he slides down the wall and sits there with his hand over his face. Oof. Lovely pain.

Favorite interaction that character has with another: that moment in World Chronicle where Syaoran launches himself at Fai and Fai sort of stumbles back against Kurogane and stays there looking up at him all adoring and beautiful with Kurogane's arm around them both? Life-changing.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: Yuuko, for the entertainment value

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: so many characters I've loved. William James Moriarty, Xie Lian, Dani from Bly Manor, even freakin' Dean fookin' Winchester. They've all got a little something that reminds me of him.

A headcanon about that character: Does not only bottom, in spite of the obvious Yaoi Dimorphism 😂😂

A song that reminds of that character: pretty sure I first heard this song in a Kurofai amv a decade+ ago and it's stuck ever since. Also this for some reason.

An unpopular opinion about that character: see headcanon 😂 (actually I've seen a fair number of fics with him topping. I'm not in touch with this fandom enough to know what is and isn't popular.)

Favorite picture: since I'm already talking about it --

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akiko-uchiha · 3 months

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They’ve formed an alliance against Kurogane asdfghjkl

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akiko-uchiha · 3 months

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(it's from a good while ago but.... )

I like sagushin a lot in general, but also I think they'd be kaito's worst nightmare (good)

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akiko-uchiha · 3 months

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I think we should all unanimously start considering Rimlaine as a generation of Soukoku.

Like the estranged french cousin of the Soukoku family.

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akiko-uchiha · 3 months

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GOING INSANE OVER THIS NEW CHAPTER

MARRIAGE????? MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW??????????

I ONLY TRUST THIS MANGA TO DO RIMBAUD CORRECTLY

THIS IS EVERYTHING THE ANIME COULDN'T DO AND MORE

YES

THEY'RE SCARED, AS THEY SHOULD BE

my WIFE

what the FUCK /POS

No I'm not okay

GOODNIGHT

I LOVE YOU HOSHIKAWA

THEY DID THE SCENE THEY DID THE SCENE THEY DID THE SCENE

Chuuya is not winning the DGAF war

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akiko-uchiha · 3 months

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I hate the who does Lilia love more debate. I don’t know it makes no sense to me.

What do you think?

Hello Anonie 🌺💚🌷

Ohhh Anonie, you all ask questions that makes me want to write essays especially if you mention Lilia or any other Diasomnia character.

You know I will write an essay about Lilia if you give me the chance. 💚💕😂

Lilia's love isn't singular. It had never been. His love is more of an umbrella and it encompasses all. We see this especially in book 7 as we get to know each Diasomia member more. He has many loves. He shows that you can have more than one True Love. He is literally love personified. The one who not only learned how to love but continues to learn.

I don't know where the whole argument/debate (?) came from that Lilia loves Malleus more than Silver or vice versa? To me, it has no standing.

Also I want to point out, Diasomnia had always been mysterious and we haven't known until now any details about them. We have only known superficially what they strategically showed us through events and personal stories.

So because of this and because how long it took for us to get to book 7, certain views and perceptions have been made about these characters/relationships which are shattered now that book 7 released.

Hence, why this argument probably came up in the first place because of these assumptions/perceptions.

To get back to this question, we have seen Lilia and Silver interactions before book 7 and how it is mentioned that Lilia raised Silver and the tender moments they had. But we have also had these moments with Malleus as well in events and cards.

You can miss this if you don't read the events or personal stories and focus only on main story. As book 7 released, they have slowly and surely paved the stones that show how much Lilia loves both Silver and Malleus.

You can see it in in Dorm Lilia's Personal story as well as Malleus'. He has always done his best for both of them and he has always loved equally. The circumstance for both Malleus and Silver are different but it does not mean he was not a father to both of them. One just has the ability to freely call him one and the other does not.

Lilia literally is an example of "you don't have to be blood related to someone to be considered family" and I think that is beautiful.

He hatched Malleus with 200 years of unconditional love. He traveled, told Malleus stories, learned his unique magic, gave his magic and life force to Malleus while promising to cuddle him and make it so he isn't alone anymore. Does that sound like someone who doesn't love Malleus? No, it was his true love for Malleus that allowed him to hatch him. It was Lilia's happiest moment so much so that he cried.

He woke up Silver because of his ability to love. Lilia at this point acknowledges (more inwardly than outwardly) that he has the ability to love. He could have killed Silver but he didn't. Instead, he chooses to raise this baby (the enemy's child). He learns to raise a human baby and gets help raising him from the Zigvolt and Malleus. He cried when he received the acorn bracelet. This is not someone who does not love Silver.

Both of Malleus' and Silver's situations are based on True Love. These two cursed and lonely princes woken up but this General Fae who loves so deeply. A lonely fae who found happiness and a reason for living because of these two, and they who found solace in his arms. One Father and two sons.

Where in any of these moments does it seem he favors one more than the other? In events especially, we see how Lilia always talking about his family. We see him buy them gifts and consider their likes and wants and the rest of Diasomnia does the same when they go on trips as well.

Lilia is a fae of action rather than words. His lack of communication is what led to the current situation Diasomnia is in and that is his fault. But as we see, everyone in Diaosmnia is more action than words.

Everyone loves through actions, and I can write a whole essay on this lolol 😂💚

But back to Lilia, he has shown repeatedly how much he loves his boys through his actions. He heard their cries and woke them up with True Love. He pats them on the head as pointed out by Silver and Malleus. He cooks for them.

He is protective of them as we see with Book 2 with Leona's plotting against Malleus and how he tore into Leona for it. We see it as well with Silver when he took that hit for him in book 7. He loves talking about them (the shaved ice incident, the burnt cookies, etc)

He trains them to protect themselves so they wouldn't fall, so in times of need; they can depend on each other. He wants them to build a future where humans and fae get along so they do not have to suffer as he has.

Is this not love in the highest form for both of them?

Words of love and affirmation is something we all need and crave, but neither Silver nor Malleus has ever questioned the love they received.

No, Silver and Malleus questions if they deserve that love. Silver has repeatedly stated how faes love intensely but never did he say he wasn't loved.

It was always about if they deserved that love. As we see in chapter 5 of book 7, Silver despaired because he believes he doesn't deserve it. Which, I might add, he fully accepted at the end of chapter 5. He acknowledges it himself that Lilia loves him truly through his actions and teachings. It gives him determination and renewal of strength to continue and break Malleus of his OB and so he can see Lilia and Malleus smile again.

Malleus despite seeing the hatching moment, doesn't see it for what it is. That it was Lilia's happiest moment. No, he sees it as an event that caused him pain and grief. He offered Lilia a happy dream where he can be happy with his parents or with Silver peacefully. Malleus hasn't accepted that he deserves that love and hopefully, we can see him accept it as well.

As you see, even without words, Lilia has always shown he has loved them. One of them he was able to raise from a baby and the other he was restricted (but he tried his best and it wasn't his fault that he was restricted).

But none of this shows he loves one more than the other, in fact, it just shows his capabilities of love. How someone who thought he couldn't love has the ability to love intensely. The one who brings others together because of it (humans and faes, malleus and silver, etc)

He shows that you can love in all forms and you can change. He loves and hatched a fae. He loves and woke a human. He raised them as best he could.

In fact, it shows that Lilia can continue to learn to love and adapt. That he has the ability (or be forced) to do so.

He has shown love through actions, and now he has to learn to express love through words.

This can only happen when they can all talk and communicate. But this is another lesson isn't it? Another way for him to change and his boys to learn from him.

Because as he as loved through actions so have they, and now they need to learn to love through words and accept it as well.

So, no, I do not believe that Lilia loves one more than the other. I never understood that debate or where it came from.

Thank you for sending this in anonie, hope you enjoyed this essay 😂💚💕

[I would talk about Silver's curse but this post is long as is. So if you want to know about my thoughts about his curse, then let me know 🌺💕]

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akiko-uchiha · 3 months

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HEY LOL

It's been a FAT while since I did a little ramble

But I was bored because I'm not in college until next week, I have the house to myself and NOTHING TO DO

So, take this deluded 5pm rant xoxo

Basically, what I just wanted to ramble on about is Soukoku (shocker, I know.), and in all honesty the humanity between them both.

Between both Chuuya and Dazai, humanity is a touchy subject. Chuuya strives to actively be more human, does anything to hold onto the fact that he is, still, a human. Whereas Dazai on the other hand has essentially given up, not thinking of his life as something worthy of being a human, and essentially wishing to throw it away.

Trust me, I don't know where I'm going with this rant/ramble. But I'm going somewhere.

I think that it's one of the major factors in why Chuuya hates Dazai so much; Dazai has proof of being alive, memories, moments that can assure him of his humanity. But Chuuya? Chuuya doesn't have that. Chuuya lost the first years of his life, gone. Can't remember them. He's a lab rat. He's an experiment.

Chuuya struggles a LOT with his identity, as we know. And in Stormbringer, the thought that he could be a clone fucked him up. Then having to fight that said clone after he watched it melt in his arms? Yikes.

So, naturally, he's going to despise Dazai for treating something that Chuuya craves so desperately, so carelessly. As far as we know, Dazai hasn't had to worry about a fucking God inside of him, or worry about whether or not he's actually a clone, or worry about whether or not he is a real human being.

Except, he pretty much does.

Despite being human, nobody, not even himself, thinks that he is.

That's the part that fucks me up about their relationship; Dazai is determined to die on the hill that says Chuuya is human. Chuuya is determined to live on the hill that tells him Dazai is an inhuman, unfeeling person.

Dazai fights tooth and fucking nail to prove Chuuya's humanity. Even when told that Chuuya is most definitely a clone of his original copy, he's still so adamant that Chuuya is a living, breathing, human being. But to Chuuya, the feeling isn't mutual. Dazai is emotionless, unfeeling, inhuman. He's not capable of empathy nor sympathy to others, and he treats his own life so carelessly, holding no regard for his own being and putting himself into these dangerous, reckless situations, wishing for death or something as close to it. He has a life that he doesn't try to live. Chuuya resents him for that. Chuuya has a life that he wants to live, making up for all that he lost in the beginning. And seeing Dazai just treat his own as if it means nothing irritates him. Seeing Dazai treat death as a whole irritates him.

GAH I know that this is a ramble, and so I am, in fact, rambling, but still I don't know I'm making no sense lol.

It just really intrigues me how their relationship works in regard to each other's humanity.

Because, when Chuuya first met Dazai, he thought this;

The figure was silent for a moment. Then he finally saw Dazai, and realized that he was dealing with a person that had personality. "Huh. I thought you were going to cry and run away, but you're a surprisingly radical kid."

I made a post on this a little while back. The fact that, by Dazai asking Chuuya instead to just kill him now, Chuuya responds with the thought that he's dealing "with a person that had personality". He recognises that there's more to Dazai off the bat; it's obvious, but he's different to most other people. And instead of thinking "What the fuck" he thinks "this is a person". I know it's not him explicitly saying "This is a human" but even still. I don't know. Maybe I'm the bat-shit crazy one, but something doesn't sit right with me in that there.

I really don't know where I am going with this, but I'm not finished lol. SKK humanity dynamics fuck me up.

More about Dazai's adamancy of Chuuya's humanity, the fact that Verlaine, the one person in the world the most similar to Chuuya and his situation, is telling Dazai that there's no chance that he's a human. Dazai isn't stupid, he knows the vivid similarities between Chuuya and Verlaine. How Verlaine can probably understand him better than most, and vice versa. However, Dazai doesn't budge. It's so much gayer in the stageplay though and it makes me piss. The fact that, in the LN, he says "It's not possible for him to be artificial, because how could I hate an artificial set of strings so much?" BUT IN THE FUCKING STAGE PLAY? "If he wasn't an artificial set of strings, he'd like me more." (Ik these aren't the direct quotes, I've misremembered, but I'm not digging through my reblogs and Stormbringer just yet to bring up the exact quotes, but they're along those lines. Sorry <3)

LMAOOOO THIS GAYASS FUCKING MOTHERFUCKER FRR

Sorry it just gets me feral.

Anyways.

I think that's maybe the end of this for now because my dogs are barking and I don't know why so I'm going to need to go check that lol.

There's certainly far fucking more to say, but that's for another day lmao (spitting bars fr).

I hope anyone reading this has a lovely day/night! ^^ <3

xoxo

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akiko-uchiha · 3 months

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skk dynamics!

I just want to talk about Soukoku so that is precisely what I'm going to do ^^

As per, this post has no specific or planned direction, I'm just gonna see where it takes me lol.

It genuinely irks me to see the rampant mischaracterisation within the fandom pertaining to not only just Soukoku, but several other characters as well. Ranpo, Akutagawa, Kunikida, etc. It might just be my dumb little screaming brain being scared of something that's not supposed to be in my head, or hell, something that's in the BACK of my mind, and I know that makes no sense but it does to me xoxo

I just really treasure the dynamic between Dazai and Chuuya and I get frightened that when I think somebody is mischaracterising them, I'm the only one that thinks that and that I'm just perceiving them wrong. Which genuinely is the one thing I never wish to do; when I write fics, my number one goal is to make the characters as true to life as possible. I try my damndest to do justice to their characters, and based off of the lovely people that read it and comment, I'm doing something right, surprisingly.

The characterisation of Dazai and Chuuya specifically is something so important to me because I relate to the both of them the most out of any of my interests. And I have a LOT of interests.

I don't know why or how, but they came to be my absolute favourite characters over all other fandoms and shows and games and films I enjoyed. (I'm excluding the Marauders fandom here, because I also love Remus and Sirius exactly like this). I piss myself off with it sometimes, because I accidentally base all of my creative outlets off of Soukoku, and lo and behold, I have about 30 unfinished ideas/fics after one night of ruminating over these motherfuckers.

Anyways. Like I said, this post has no point, it's just my incoherent, incessant rambling that if I don't write down, will slowly eat away at me until I die ^^

So, I guess, without further ado, I'm just gonna get going?

LMAO

Anyways,

Soukoku's dynamic has always been interesting. We were introduced to them first (as a pair) as enemies; ex-partners, rivals, loathing each other. But, when we slowly got to see more of their relationship, more of their past, more of their dynamic, quite a lot of us slowly came to realise; oh shit. There's more to them here.

The two of these together aren't just black-and-white characters. Dazai is not inherently good just because he works for the ADA. Chuuya is not inherently bad just because he works for the PM. They are morally grey characters. They've killed people, tortured people, stolen, beaten, attacked, hurt, all that good stuff that comes with being in the Mafia (nevermind fucking Mafia executives). Something that a lot of people seem to forget is where to draw the line between these two organisations; if the ADA is harbouring two fugitives that are ex-mafia, one of them being an executive, another fugitive that terrorised the streets of Japan as a man-eating tiger, and is run by an ex-assassin who was close with the current leader of the Port Mafia, who's to say that they're the good guys? Who is the one to define the evil and the light?

Nobody.

There are no sides.

The Port Mafia aren't the bad guys, and the Agency aren't the good guys. They're both doing their morally grey jobs with their morally grey cast of characters.

Yes, on a base level, the ADA are supposed to be the good guys, whereas the Mafia are the bad. It's a narrow-minded way of thinking and looking at the series, but on a surface level, yes, that seems to be the case.

However, we have layers to this. We know how morally grey these characters are, good or bad. Take Tanizaki, for example, and his way of going about it when Naomi is threatened. He knows he's morally grey. He knows he's not one of the good guys. None of them are! They save people, and that makes them good. But it doesn't make them the good guys. I'm not calling them bad people, of course not. I'm just saying, in the wise words of a post I once read months back, 'Maturing is realising that neither the Port Mafia or the ADA are the good or bad guys'. Something along those lines.

ANYWAYS, I've written this much already and still haven't spoken about SKK.

My point here was their good apple/bad apple dynamic. Dazai is from the same place Chuuya is at, the Mafia. So, by calling Dazai a 'bad guy' you're indirectly also calling Chuuya a bad guy. You're calling Hirotsu a bad guy. You're calling Akutagawa a bad guy. You're calling Higuchi a bad guy. You're calling all of these Mafia members the bad guys; when that's not strictly true. Morally grey characters, yet not monsters. Not bloodthirsty, demonic, evil motherfuckers. They're in the Mafia; not a good start, of course. But again, this does not make them bad people. Actions don't define the person you make yourself out to be, if that makes any sense. Just because a bad person did one good thing one time does not necessarily make them a good person. But if they strive to become a better one by constantly doing good and making active efforts to change their ways, then they're well on their way to earning that title, or coming close to it. Just because someone good did a bad thing one time does not automatically make them a bad person. They're not awful for making one bad choice, depending on the severity and their actions after the choice. Because it can go both ways; strive to be a better person, or fall to be a bad one.

ANYWAYS.

SOUKOKU.

I LOVE SOUKOKU.

So, I'm actually going to talk about them instead of fucking RABITTING ON FOR HOWEVER LONG.

Anyways.

Soukoku is special to me. I relate to the both of them the most. I recognise the flaws in each of them, and I recognise the good. I recognise the changes they're willing to put themselves through for the sake of the greater good, and I recognise the struggles they've been through to get there. I see myself in them, and so I can't help but latch onto them and want to keep them for myself. My subconscious wants to protect them and make them happy and becomes unhealthily attached to these fictional characters.

Anyways.

Soukoku dynamics. Right.

One of my favourite dynamics about Soukoku is the childlike behaviour they exhibit with one another. Even after seven years and they still bicker like they did at 15. I've said it a thousand times before and I'll fucking say it again; they let each other be the children that they never got to be. They let loose with one another. They unwind. They relax. They recognise their similarities (much to Chuuya's chagrin and unwavering denial) and each other's differences. Where there is hate, there is love and trust. It's buried deep. But it's there. The two of them have their walls put high up. They guard themselves well. They keep their shit inside. They let not another soul see what goes on in their hearts. So, with their crying children stuck inside of them and locked down, they let them out around each other. By simply being with each other at any given moment, they're healing their inner children, and allowing them to breathe.

Each moment with Soukoku is so delicate. It feels intrusive to watch their intimate scenes. It feels like such a beautiful moment, so precious to watch and so delicate to touch. The intimate scenes with the two of these are either emotionally charged, blazing, action-packed and full of chaos, or quiet and serene. Tranquil. It's never really neutral ground for them. It's either chaos or serenity, just a calm moment between the two of them, away from the rest of the world and taking (unknowing) comfort in each other's presence.

It's the small smiles from Dazai when Chuuya isn't looking. It's the words and actions with hidden meanings exchanged between them. It's the concern when one of them gets hurt, or is stuck in an unprecedented situation. It's the unfaltering trust and loyalty between each other that pushes them forward, even if it kills them, or seems fruitless. It's the determination that sits in the both of them to protect those that they care about, and put the world above all else for just a moment.

Small, knowing glances. Inside jokes. Petulant, playful bickering. Concerned thoughts. Constant thoughts.

I find it hard to believe that nobody else finds Dazai and Chuuya suspicious; they're hardly discreet about how much they think about each other. Example number one:

Chuuya is drunk with Hirotsu and Kajii. On a whim, he decides to go on a rant about Dazai. Hirotsu and Kajii are apparently sick of it; he does this a lot. He decides, impulsively, to ring Dazai's phone. Dazai picks up the fucking phone. Hirotsu answers, Dazai's like 'Oh, hey, yeah this is my old phone.' Blatantly lies to the motherfucker, because Dazai, honey, you're at home reading; what have you got your old phone from seven years ago next to you, working, and on for? Chuuya wants to speak with him. Gets angry when he can't talk to him to shout at him and complain. Keeps trying to call him back in anger.

Now, if I do say so myself, that's pretty suspicious of them.

Example two:

Dazai in fucking general. He does not shut the fuck up about Chuuya. He tells everyone he meets about how much he spends thinking about Chuuya (everyone except the Agency ahem). He's fucking gay.

That also brings me on to another point. Dazai rarely speaks about Chuuya with the ADA; I'm not too sure I've ever seen him say anything about him to them, except in Wan and the like. (I'm dumb tho tbf). However, upon Yosano figuring out Chuuya's identity, his first reaction is "Goddamn it, Dazai told them". Not that he's a widely known gravity manipulator and its not fucking hard to figure it out, plus the fact that he's a Mafia executive, PLUS the fact that they're a detective Agency? His first impulse is to blame Dazai lmao. Anyways.

You can ignore the first half of that paragraph I was just chatting mad wham.

Anyways.

I just enjoy how peaceful and serene the intimate moments between Soukoku can be. Even the world around them is falling apart, it still somehow feels so beautiful, real, raw, and personal. When Dazai is watching Chuuya fight in storm bringer, it feels so quiet. All hell is breaking loose, yet Dazai is so breathtaken by Chuuya that we feel as if we're interrupting. I don't know why but all I picture upon imagining that scene is a very quiet scene, just for a few seconds, of no music or anything, and white. Just the colour white in as many places as possible. A softness to the screen. I don't know. It just feels like that to me and I can't explain it.

Soukoku's dynamics are so important, because when people mischaracterise both Dazai and Chuuya and then smush that together it creates an abomination of what was supposed to be beautiful and ruins the relationship they really have, muddying their name. Their relationship is special. It's so much more than hate.

Hate is also a crucial part of their relationship, however. And a lot of us Soukoku shippers tend to forget that. We're so blinded by how much we want them to admire and adore each other that we forget how much they do despise one another. And I've mentioned this before in another post.

Their hate is real. It's not a ruse, it's the real deal. They genuinely do hate one another; but that hate is filled with so much more than downright disgust. That hate is filled with the trust of their bond, seven years of partnership, love, and so many unspoken things between the two of them.

Chuuya hates Dazai because he hates himself. He refuses to let himself see the similarities between him and Dazai, because he could never be like him. Chuuya often struggles with his identity and who he is and just how human he is. He didn't know until he was 16 whether he was a real human or not. And so, upon meeting this other human at 15 who craves death and wants to just throw away this human life that he's been given? That's a hard no for Chuuya. He resents Dazai for being so willing to give up his life so carelessly, so easily. He'd do anything at that point to realise just how human he was, to prove his humanity to others and to show his compassion and human qualities. And he stumbles across this stone-cold, suicidal kid who wants to let go of all of that, sees no point in trying to even be human, and who is lacking empathy for other human lives. Chuuya disgusts and loathes that. So, he wants nothing to do with him. Does not want to be attached to him in any way shape or form. Refuses to acknowledge their similarities. So, when he's being tortured, and the first thing he hallucinates is Dazai? It preys on his insecurities and deepest fears. He fears that he's not at all a human, and he fears that he is like Dazai, an unfeeling, indifferent, seemingly heartless boy who wishes to give up on the world, who wishes he was never born, who wishes nothing more than to be granted that sweet release of death.

I can't articulate very well, so for that I do apologise! But yeah, this has always been an important scene for me. In his moment of weakness, Chuuya hallucinated the person that he wanted to see the least, first. He hallucinated Dazai before his freshly dead friends, etc. And claims that, whilst he's being tortured, after Verlaine has killed the people closest to him, that he hates him the most out of anyone in the world. A lot of people said that this was an overreaction; respectfully, shut the fuck up ^^ My boy was being tortured, give him some leeway, yeah?

Anyway.

It just goes to show how deep those roots of self-hatred go within Chuuya; it seems him and Dazai have something more in common than originally thought.

Now, I don't actually have a complete grasp on the reason why Dazai hates Chuuya so much. Because, he doesn't hate him as much as Chuuya hates him, or as much as he makes it out to be. Dazai is an eccentric bastard, dramatising things for the sake of stirring up trouble. He overexaggerates for a variety of reasons, one of those being to conceal any emotion he IS feeling. He makes a big song and dance out of the little things to try and forget about the big things. To not think. Dazai is not numb by nature. He's numb by conditioning. He has conditioned himself to feel nothing, to be cold and logical and rational. Mori, of course, only exemplified these traits, making him colder and more calculated than ever/before. So, my blind guess is that he holds a sort of resentment to Chuuya for being able to be more normal than he is, for wanting to live and not seeing the world as a boring, pointless place. But, he also wants Chuuya to thrive as a human, to be able to live his life knowing and being sure of his humanity. And, when it's only him and Verlaine, he grows quite... emotional (trust me, it's not a lot but that's the only word I can think of) when talking about his humanity. That, Chuuya has to be a human. Because how could he hate someone so much? He has to be a human, because if he wasn't he would like Dazai more.

I think Dazais "issue" (I CAN'T THINK OF WORDS RIGHT NOW LMAO) is that he just wants Chuuya to like him. Maybe he wants a friend. Maybe there's something else to it. But, Dazai has always had strong... feelings, towards Chuuya. "Jokingly" telling him he loves him. Getting awfully close when he doesn't need to, and never does with anyone else. Yeah, you're not fooling anybody hun. Makes many romantic comments that could be passed off as something else entirely about him. Showing active concern for him. Caring for him. Thinking about him. He shows a lot more attention to Chuuya than he gets in return; by that I mean speaks about it more. Is a lot more verbal than Chuuya is.

GAHHHH sorry sorry I just have too much to say and don't know when to SHUT THE FUCK UP but I have SO MUCH more to say, but I'm going to be going off and writing my shitty little fics that should've been written yonks ago <3

have a lovely day/night! ^^

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