alan

[alan]

Finally.

[alan]

For those times when your 16 favorite shows are all on at the exact same time.

[alan]

#wow

[alan]

Wow, really? Free?

[alan]

It's Always Sunny in Tatooine - YouTube

[alan]

I watched 928 hours of TV in 2015. (2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009)

[alan]

(via DARTH TRUMP - Auralnauts - YouTube)

This is hilarious.

[alan]

[alan]

For a moment, I was genuinely surprised that my search for the TV show Bones on Wikipedia led me here. After 11 seasons, I think we can all agree that the show has earned primacy over the “skeletal organ”, whatever that means.

[alan]

[Trump] was recently at a cocktail party, and they were passing around hors d’oeuvres. ‘‘This big, heavy guy takes the shrimp, puts it in, bit it and puts it in again,’’ he told me. Trump was appalled at the repeat dunking, even in the retelling. ‘‘I said, ‘You just [expletive] double-­dipped!’ He didn’t know what I was talking about.’’

Donald Trump Is Not Going Anywhere - The New York Times

This is literally the plot of a Seinfeld episode.

[alan]

F AMERICA.

This had to be intentional, right?

(via Notes on the Republican Campaign - The New York Times)

[alan]

O.K., Ana, I don’t mean to be rude here. I am running for president of the United States on serious issues, O.K.? Do you have serious questions?

Bernie Sanders

[alan]

Doesn't every city form a triangle with Brussels and Antwerp?

[alan]

She was like Oh my god, this is my song. I've been listenin' to the radio all night long. Sittin' 'round, waitin' for it to come on [because I haven't heard of Spotify, YouTube, or iTunes] and here it is.

Luke Bryan, “Play It Again”, 2014 (paraphrased)

[alan]

My underwear comes conveniently packaged in a resealable plastic bag.

[alan]

(via Community Board Game Commercial S6 E13 - YouTube)

[alan]

– Knock Knock. – Who’s there? – Ann – Ann who? – An apple fell on my head. There’s something beautiful about this one. It’s the clerihew of jokes. Zero cleverness. It lacks any sense of inevitability, in that any sentence whatsoever could work here, as long as it begins with the word “An.”

What's the worst joke you've ever heard? - Statistical Modeling, Causal Inference, and Social Science Statistical Modeling, Causal Inference, and Social Science