alvhaga

[alvhaga]

i dont enjoy writing as a hobby because it feels like when people try to take pictures of mirrors to sell online and clearly put effort into minimizing their reflection but theres still an arm and phone in the frame or you can see their fucked up carpeted kitchen in the background with like a wall to wall collection of dusty antlers. im saying someone will notice i have a weird house because i was so focused on nobody noticing that i was naked while taking a pic of this mirror for craigslist and i cant have that but im not getting dressed because its my house. you understand of course

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[alvhaga]

Actually, that vampires can only go out at night is a myth. The real rule is that they can only come out at night. They can walk around in sunlight but they have to pretend to be straight.

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🦀 Kudos Crab 🦀

If you are scrolling and see Kudos Crab, your fics will be blessed!

You will get good comments and kudos!

You will beat your writers block!

GO AND WRITE!

[alvhaga]

you know what i’ll use my own imagination for a while

[alvhaga]

"Why does this 19th Century novel have such a boring protagonist" well, for a lot of reasons, really, but one of the big ones is that you're possibly getting the protagonist and the narrator mixed up.

A lot of 19th Century literary critics had this weird hate-boner for omniscient narrators – stories would straight up get criticised as "unrealistic" on the grounds that it was unlikely anyone could have witnessed their events in the manner described, like some sort of proto-CinemaSins bullshit – so authors who didn't want to write their stories from the first-person perspective of one of the participating characters would often go to great lengths to contrive for there to be a Dude present to witness and narrate the story's events.

It's important to understand that the Dude is the viewpoint character, but not the protagonist. His function is to witness stuff, and he only directly participates in the narrative to the extent that's necessary to explain to the satisfaction of persnickety critics why he's present and how he got there. Giving him a personality would defeat the purpose!

(Though lowbrow fiction was unlikely to encounter such criticisms, the device of the elaborately justified diegetic narrator was often present there as well, and was sometimes parodied to great effect – for example, by having the story narrated by a very unlikely party, such as a sapient insect, or by a party whose continued presence is justified in increasingly comical ways.)

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historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman

[alvhaga]

remember those soulmate aus that were popular a few years back where, like, youre born with a tattoo that looks exactly like your soulmate's? yeah a meetcute where you just bump into each other and happen to see the matching tattoo would never work in a modern setting. thered be a billion apps dedicated solely (soul-ly lol) to posting your tattoo and finding similar ones that have been posted. thats how everyone would meet. and in this universe old people would hate the fact that ppl are meeting their soulmates inorganically. they would say its "soulless" and write angry posts about it on soulbook. thered also be people who get fake tattoos or screenshot other ppls and post them online and catfish others, so thered be PSAs on how to detect soul scams. doing real worldbuilding here.

#soulmate au #soulmates

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No one asked but I think the secret to making the enemies-to-lovers trip work is respect. They can loath each other, but they have to loath each other as equals. Like “sorry but no one else is allowed to murder this man but me” + “it’s an honor and privilege to despise you.”

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Disclaimer these are just a small sampling of some possible writer traits I’ve noticed either in myself or in fics I read. Also consider a rb for sample size !

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One of the best writing advice I have gotten in all the months I have been writing is "if you can't go anywhere from a sentence, the problem isn't in you, it's in the last sentence." and I'm mad because it works so well and barely anyone talks about it. If you're stuck at a line, go back. Backspace those last two lines and write it from another angle or take it to some other route. You're stuck because you thought up to that exact sentence and nothing after that. Well, delete that sentence, make your brain think because the dead end is gone. It has worked wonders for me for so long it's unreal

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"I hate how American media will just make up a European nation rather than do any research, so I'm going to get back at them by writing a story set in a fake American state" like, do you have the slightest idea how much American media is set in a geographically impossible fictional small town located in no particular state and characterised entirely by some guy from Los Angeles' collection of half-remembered stereotypes about the American Midwest? They've already got the "lazily inventing fictional parts of America" bit locked down.

No, if you want to play the Uno reverse card on American media, what you need to do isn't to make up a fake state: you specifically need to wilfully misrepresent southern California.

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i do unironically think the best artists of our generation are posting to get 20 notes and 3 reblogs btw. that fanfic with like 45 kudos is some of the best stuff ever written. those OCs you carry around have some of the richest backstories and worldbuilding someone has ever seen. please do not think that reaching only a few people when you post means your art isn't worth celebrating.

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The thing about fanfiction after writing original fiction for so long is that it feels like taking weighted clothes off. If I wanted a cool plot twist or a reveal or a mystery I had to set up all the expectations myself. I had to set up the red herrings, the clues, the boundaries of what was reasonable.

In fanfiction I drop a name from canon I never referenced before and it will carry the weight that a hundred pages of set up would carry in original fiction.

Do you have any fucking idea how intoxicating that is.

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If you would’ve known that that stupid river was the fountain of youth, you never would’ve drank from it. That was 300 years ago. You’re permanently stuck at age 26. The only one you really have left in your life is your horse, who also made the mistake of drinking from it.

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