angeluus-blog

[angeluus-blog]

        so i heard a rumor from a little birdie that it was munday -- & usually i get too anxious to post anything... but hey WHAT THE HELL !! there's a first for everything !! ... so, hi pals !!

#▒ ❛ my spirit animal is liz lemon ❜ 「ooc. 」 #i apologize in advance that you need to see my ugly mug #I promise I love y'all #also I'm finally in Florida and I got to go to the beach for the first time this summer #fINALLY #and I'm so happy #got to lay out on the sand and read my book #I just love the beach guys

[angeluus-blog]

“How can they see the love in our eyes And still they don’t believe us And after all this time”

#▒ ❛ winter wind sings and it cries ❜ 「music. 」 #▒ ❛ this can’t be it - oh god what a queue ❜ 「queue. 」 #my emo kid #god help his soul

[angeluus-blog]

° • ? ( QUESTION SENTENCE STARTERS.

❛ What are you doing? ❜ ❛ Where are you going? ❜ ❛ Where are you taking me? ❜ ❛ How is that working out for you? ❜ ❛ Is everything okay? ❜ ❛ Why are you acting like this? ❜ ❛ You think I would lie to you? ❜ ❛ Are you telling the truth? ❜ ❛ Are you sure you want to do this? ❜ ❛ This is your bright idea of a plan? ❜ ❛ What else do you want me to do? ❜ ❛ What else can I do? ❜ ❛ What do you think I should do? ❜ ❛ What makes you think that? ❜ ❛ Who told you that? ❜ ❛ Who are you? ❜ ❛ Why are you here? ❜ ❛ Who invited you? ❜ ❛ How come you ever asked me? ❜ ❛ Did you really mean all those things you said? ❜ ❛ Why did you have to go? Why did you have to leave? ❜ ❛ Why is it so hard for you to see that? ❜ ❛ Why don’t you understand? ❜ ❛ What don’t you understand? ❜ ❛ Are you joking? ❜ ❛ Did I miss anything? ❜ ❛ You don’t remember? ❜ ❛ Did you really say all that stuff about me? ❜ ❛ Did you think I would forget? ❜ ❛ How can you sit there and say that? ❜ ❛ How do you even sleep at night? ❜ ❛ Are you coming or not? ❜ ❛ Am I the only one freaked out right now? ❜ ❛ Are you laughing or crying? ❜ ❛ Who did this to you? ❜ ❛ Did someone hurt you? ❜ ❛ Is it just me or are you, like, ignoring me? ❜ ❛ You want me to apologize for something you did? ❜ ❛ Are you going to kiss me or not? ❜ ❛ Aren’t you the one who said it though? ❜ ❛ So, you don’t like me like that? ❜ ❛ Where do we go from here? ❜ ❛ Are you being serious right now? ❜ ❛ How was I supposed to know that? ❜ ❛ Oh, is that a challenge? ❜ ❛ Are you flirting with me? ❜ ❛ Are you going to let me go now? ❜ ❛ Are we done now? ❜ ❛ Why didn’t just ask me? ❜ ❛ You’re going to believe them over me? ❜ ❛ How can possibly think that? ❜ ❛ Did you even miss me? ❜ ❛ Did anyone even notice that I was gone? ❜ ❛ Why do you go around and kiss everyone? ❜ ❛ Did you kill them? ❜ ❛ Who’s blood is that? Is that your blood? ❜ ❛ Do you think this is a game? ❜ ❛ Are you having doubts? ❜ ❛ Why haven’t you been at school/work? ❜ ❛ Is there something going on that you need to tell me? ❜ ❛ You said you wanted to talk? ❜ ❛ What am I supposed to do? ❜ ❛ What did you expect to happen? ❜ ❛ How long you think you can keep this act up? ❜ ❛ You don’t like me? Do you? Like in a more than a friend way? ❜ ❛ Is that what everyone is saying now? ❜ ❛ Who do I remind you of? ❜ ❛ Are you hungry? Want to go get something to et? ❜ ❛ Are you drunk? ❜ ❛ Are you lost? ❜ ❛ What’s so great about any of that anyway? ❜ ❛ Are you even listening to yourself? ❜ ❛ What are you going to do about it, huh? ❜ ❛ What are you staring at? ❜ ❛ What are you doing out here? ❜ ❛ Why did you call the police? ❜ ❛ Wait, do you hear that? ❜ ❛ Why don’t you tell me anything? ❜ ❛ Hey, did you get me anything? ❜ ❛ Why didn’t you come over last night? ❜ ❛ What did you find out? ❜ ❛ Can I stay here for the night? ❜ ❛ Are you throwing rocks at my window? ❜ ❛ Are you crying? ❜ ❛ What are you laughing at me? ❜ ❛ Are you laughing at me? ❜ ❛ Do you not understand the word no? ❜ ❛ Is that it? Is that all? ❜ ❛ Are you in some kind of trouble? ❜ ❛ Yeah, but, you have me. So why bother? ❜ ❛ What’s love got to do with it? ❜ ❛ This is where we kiss, right? ❜ ❛ Do you ever not just only think about yourself? ❜ ❛ Are going to leave me again? ❜ ❛ What’s wrong with that? ❜ ❛ Do you have anything you need to say to me? ❜ ❛ I think I’m going to puke. Is there a trash can in here? ❜ ❛ You really don’t know why I’m mad at you? ❜ ❛ Why do you treat me like I’m not important to you? ❜ ❛ Why are you telling me this? ❛ Are you ready? ❜ ❛ What’s with all the questions? ❜ ❛ I thought this is what you wanted? ❜ ❛ Where do you think you’re going with this? ❜ ❛ You’re just going to leave? ❜ ❛ Do you trust me? ❜ ❛ You love me? Or you think you love me? ❜ ❛ When will it ever stop? ❜ ❛ Do you think it’ll ever go away? ❜ ❛ What are you doing this weekend? ❜ ❛ You called for back up? ❜ ❛ What did I just witness? ❜ ❛ How do you cope when the one you love is with somebody else? ❜ ❛ Have you ever thought it? ❜ ❛ Are you wearing a wire? ❜ ❛ Is there something wrong? ❜ ❛ Is it something I said or something I did? ❜ ❛ What’s wrong? I thought that it was okay? ❜ ❛ Are you going to hold that against me forever? ❜ ❛ So, tell me, what else is new? ❜ ❛ You never actually cared, did you? ❜ ❛ You went to a party without me? ❜ ❛ Why wasn’t I invited? ❜ ❛ Do you think that’s a little fucked up? ❜ ❛ Oh, so you do speak? ❜ ❛ Do you think it’s really worth it in the end? ❜ ❛ How many more times do I have to tell you? ❜ ❛ You didn’t think that it would bother me? ❜

#▒ ❛ playing pirates ❜ 「memes. 」 #▒ ❛ this can’t be it - oh god what a queue ❜ 「queue. 」

[angeluus-blog]

' i can't believe we - you and i - we're having a baby ! our baby ! our family ! it's gonna be - oh, i love you. '

I DON’T REMEMBER, THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS & AT LEAST IT IS HAPPY || ( accepting !! )

           a family. the very word hung around in his ear and burrowed itself there. putting up roots. refusing to budge out of its cementation. – it had once been a word he’d come to fear… to dread… something that had once lived so dark within his soul that the mere mention would send shivers down his bones. a word– he’d more than banished, for lack of a better term. a word that had once ruled a constant melancholy. threatening with a backhand or worse, a twisted horror of the ability to keep letting it perpetuate. scared to death of a cycle he’d once so closely associated.

           time had left its wounds. scarlet, bleeding, hysterical in their encompassment.  forcing his mind to close off. to refute any avenues towards happiness that ever followed the tradition. as if, his father were some ghost sitting on his shoulder. whispering curses in his ear. taunts in the mirror as their features played nearly identical as years grew on his face. mocking their resemblances in long ago reminisced  idle threats that still came back to haunt. a haunting that overtook the discussion – continually denying that one word… family.

           the word held a feared association. that in the name, his horrors may just catch up. that welcoming someone in would risk identical fates.  like a psychic chain. that such a name connected to all the worst parts of them. connecting them to his mother, his father…    giving a foreboding ideology that it would reel them back in; to use a name could mean welcoming something precious into the jaws of their predecessors.  

           leaving him cautious. uncertain. forcing himself to believe that they still sat on his shoulders. WATCHING. just waiting to snatch their familial property back up into the cycle. trapping them in a family name that was damned to begin with. a fear he’d allowed to rule his life… for so long. an irrational one that ate him up in the middle of the night and spat him back out trembling in the daylight.  one… with such vigor had tried to keep holding as tight as it could. pushing him back. pushing them BOTH back. 

           until – he finally slammed the door. cautiously swallowing the key, with his hands gripping the handle. trying to keep it all out–  so they could live a LIFE… ( without the ghosts of his past. )

           NOW– the word left him with salt etching at the corners of his eyes.  trying desperately to blink away. cradling something much deeper. an opening up. a happiness he couldn’t quite define… one that utilized every single worry in his body all at the same time; yet came out in a swelling of his heart. so close to bursting, yet– holding itself together, just well enough, to exude every single piece of love he could offer. a love so different– it didn’t even make sense. a dedication, that felt so inherent, so natural, so paternal. it cut right to the core of who he was.

           the world felt so different now– like he was falling in love all over again. the phone still shaking in his hands. playing the voicemail over and over in his head. until it was the only word he could think of… FAMILY. 

           ‘ after the extensive work that had to be done in evaluations, we have finally decided that we’d like you to proceed to the next step. we would like you both to come to the office early next week, so we can discuss final arrangements and the remaining paperwork.  please callback when you can, so we can settle upon a time and date.  thank you. ’

           lips pursing together tightly, still begging to hold it all in. as he felt his heartstrings pull at his throat.. it was a feeling he could only describe in one word – OVERWHELMING.   it was the call he’d so dreaded to receive, while all at once being the call he’d waited by the phone for months for… the one he was so scared of, yet so ready for. the call he was afraid would break their hearts – came to be the voicemail that left him so engulfed in JOY… in HOPE… that he could no longer hold back the sob cracking out between trembled lips. pulling bobby so close to him – so he was everything he could feel. arms wrapped so tightly about his waist… breaking down in the crook of his neck. overtaken by something so far from a sadness, but a profound joy. the last time he’d ever managed it was watching that same man in his arms walking towards him across that hall – where they’d promised to live their lives together, always.

           letting it all overtake him and just flood out. with a smile ghosting behind it and his heart hammering so fast. he was almost scared he’d wake up – and it would’ve all been a dream. that he’d tricked himself into believing he’d deserved any of this… any single moment of this lifetime they were living – TOGETHER.

           wiping eyes into bobby’s collar, lips pressing gently as he spoke against his skin. how ironically comforting, to feel so small there in his arms– yet so big. words faltered, they failed, yet in that falling out– they said absolutely everything. in the one phrase that held him together, “ i … i … love you so much, more than you’ll ever know. ”

           fingers holding his words together as that overwhelming flush took back his body, just bursting at the seams, spelling out in that simple phrase, “ i just can’t believe it… ”

           only smiling through the downpour. until he could finally allow the reality of the moment to sink in. just enough to allow him to express past the sudden inability of words in the overcoming of tearfully overwhelming joy. shaking hands gently cradling bobby’s cheeks as he found their foreheads touching, before getting lost between his lips.

           a family. and in that moment… it became the only word he ever wanted to hear. 

#khakislut #withasigh #▒ ❛ and whisper some silver reply ❜ 「replies. 」 #▒ ❛ this can’t be it - oh god what a queue ❜ 「queue. 」 #i literally sobbed writing the rest of this #out of pure joy #this is all i need in my life #thi s is everything i've always wanted and more

[angeluus-blog]

        looks like i came back to revamp at exactly the right time -- going through my about page... i just realized-- today is markus’ birthday. shit, sorry son. but wow, happy birthday muse. i’m a pretty awful parent.

#▒ ❛ my spirit animal is liz lemon ❜ 「ooc. 」 #oops #happy birthday markus my son

[angeluus-blog]

          the smell of ink gravitated off his fingers as his tongue was caught hanging slightly out of the corner of his teeth-- trying effortlessly to fall into concentration. squinting to the point of premature wrinkles hanging out the corner of his eyelids. nose scrunching up as words tried tirelessly to write themselves upon the inside of his memory. narrating history behind his eyes and copied equations rubbing out against the side of his palm as his hand glided across paper. trying to focus all his energy ... to avoid that small part of his vision, that kept getting lost in his company.

          a free hand lingering between familiar fingers. playing out symphonies in their entanglement. a hand he managed to memorize-- instead of the schoolwork lying in his lap. his head trying so hard to crane over to refocus himself upon the dictated lectures-- yet, he always found it, caught between the crook of his neck. analyzing the way it curved-- the way his entire person was so welcoming. despite it all... somehow... still wanting to be in his company. at the best, at the worst-- bobby was still there. ... even now, with his back hunched over thousands of almost incomprehensible scribblings.

          a slight laugh pulling from the corner of his lips. rolling his eyes in playful banter as he gently ‘attempted’ to nudge the other away. ( yet, he couldn’t bring himself to lift his head. )  “ i swear-- you’re the reason i’m gonna fail this exam. ”

@withasigh  | starter call !!

#withasigh #▒ ❛ ??? ❜ 「verse to be determined. 」 #fINALLY #MY BOYS #AND SEE I PROMISED #ITS FLUFFY

[angeluus-blog]

     crossed legs brushed as fingers quietly pulled themselves through the grass. twisting blades between his callouses- vying for the soft comfort that river bank had always provided. that quiet bubble of momentary peace. where it all managed to stop running & and the only thing left ringing in his ears was the pull of the water over the banks of the rocks. inspiring a breath to manage out between chapped lips... for once, just wanting to feel it pull through his body and circulate back. to remind him-- his body was forcing itself to stay alive... right then and right now.

      eyes pulled themselves from the river as he finally found the little spark mingling in his brain. wendla bergmann always did know how to find some CALM. it was almost unprecedented-- her knack for making the world feel less flat. like someone cared. even if just for a moment. pulling away those hardened scars and reminding him of a world of playing indians... hiding in their tomahawks & allowing cares to fall through the cracks. a piece of him-- that he couldn’t get back-- no matter how hard he tried.

      but at least-- for now, he could play PRETEND. and find that no town could peaked beyond those trees... that for once, he could just -- TALK.

      eyebrows furrowing upward as his fingers played along the edge of a questioning, “ how’d you know ?? -- i mean, i usually don’t have much company... the place is a MESS !! ” a laugh managing to pull itself out between the cracks of the beginning of a smile. arms gesturing to the wide expanse, -- catching mud between his fingers, allow it to fall through them like a sieve in the exaggerated reflection of a disgruntled host. 

@songslight   | starter call !!

#songslight #▒ ❛ window by window you try to look into this brave new you that you are ❜ 「verse two. 」 #wait... i'm capable of writing things that aren't sad..... #when did that happen?????

[angeluus-blog]

do you have a broadway character, oc, or verse ? if so, please reblog this post with your character(s) name in the tags, if you are an oc please specify that, and if you only have a verse be sure to specify that as well. please reblog once per blog.

                         reblog and tag appropriately and you will be added to this list.

#▒ ❛ my spirit animal is liz lemon ❜ 「ooc. 」 #voice of moritz from deaf west theatre's production of spring awakening

[angeluus-blog]

“it’s okay to hurt & breakdown. you don’t have to be strong all the time.”

I DON’T REMEMBER, THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS & IT HURTS || ( accepting !! )

           legs were dangling off the ledge. staring down into that seeming abyss. fingers itching on the inside of wrists. leaving behind scathed skin, burning etches digging deep beneath the surface. drawing blood in its attempt to hold it all together. as if trying to prick a needle and watch it thread itself in uneven stitches. pulled together with a variety of dead body parts-- a living, breathing frankenstein. brought together by the collective memories of breaking down at the hand of his creator, only to try putting himself together -- every new appearance, looking less and less like himself. hiding in the dark. screaming in his mind as all the hands kept pulling and tugging. trying to restrain the pieces of him that were still left.

           strength wasn’t in his dna. it was a pseudonym for his obvious shortcomings. he was caged in his own mind. what he was doing was a necessary service -- bottling himself up just tight enough... to keep it from all LEAKING out. keeping it from hurting the people around him. trying desperately to hide it away, in hopes-- he would be the only one left to hurt. 

           he was a sheep hiding in wolf’s clothing. right there in plain sight. leather camouflaging skin. dirt kicking up from the slight movement of his feet. trying desperately to keep himself on the tightrope... STEADY. like a well-rehearsed circus act... only for the animal to be beaten down behind the scenes. 

           hardly taking in that sentiment playing along her fingers. losing it in the jumble of the forces pulling his brain apart... and the strings tearing his heart to shreds... just a corpse breathing. 

           breathes becoming heavier and heavier as his eyes focused on the gravel under his soles. trying desperately to prim and prime... put on the concealer. and just keep moving. he couldn’t allow his nightmares reality. not here, not for wendla... they were his own curse. and he was the only one meant to bear them. --  alone... in solidarity... as it all came crashing in. he couldn’t bear to let them consume her too... she DESERVED so much more.

           fingers finally unlatched with the faint smell of blood staining the tips. his shoulders collapsing in on themselves, hardly holding his frame together. rooted in the ground, rocking with the wind. those fingers now only left shaking as they attempted a mask at whim, “ i... i’m fine... wendla... i DON’T need to talk. ”

#▒ ❛ and whisper some silver reply ❜ 「replies. 」 #naaiivety #songslight #why on earth are most if not all of these drafts so sad #i'm like sadistic #why do you people write with me #geezzzzzz

[angeluus-blog]

spring awakening aesthetics: voice of moritz

i don’t want any part of it

#▒ ❛ ten minutes ago you could see the entire horizon ❜ 「self. 」 #▒ ❛ now only sparks ❜ 「aesthetics. 」 #▒ ❛ this can’t be it - oh god what a queue ❜ 「queue. 」

[angeluus-blog]

          so i’ve only got three more old drafts left that very MUCH deserve responses because mY heaRT. -- anyways !!  now, that i’m almost done, consider this a starter & plotting call of sorts !!  feel free to like this post for me to write up a starter & feel free to get into my messenger and/or inbox if we wanted to specifically plot some stuff out !!   cheers. 

#▒ ❛ ✰ ❜ 「starter call. 」 #▒ ❛ my spirit animal is liz lemon ❜ 「ooc. 」

[angeluus-blog]

"You’re too good for that man." ( u kno who sent this probably but pretend u don't. i'm. ehehehe. a gray face sent this )

I DON’T REMEMBER, THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS || ( accepting !! )

         there was a pause. a hand drifting to lace up his lips with his fingers. almost as if to conceal the steady pull at a laugh. a breathless choke back, strong enough to send his head tilting back– struggling to supply it as a springboard right to the back of his throat. there was no hitch of sarcasm; no cruelty intended behind such reaction… he just genuinely found the statement entirely misleading && misinformed. 

         there was a well-cemented certainty in the fact that, it was quite the opposite really. he was the one much less than deserving. strained from any belief that there was any part of him that was worthy of any such affection. this ability that he had to just– look into him, to SEE him. to pull back scar tissue– to shed light on the most vulnerable parts of him. to somehow find them beautiful – no matter how he doubted. a soul so caring, it felt almost sinful to have him… like it was some infraction. that someone so broken– could ever have something so whole. 

         fingers itching on the inside of his wrists, finally losing composure as a slight corner of his mouth turned up. fingers subconsciously spelling as he mused, “ that’s a good one … !! – you know,  i’m quite sure you’ve hit the punchline… because i’m more than CERTAIN i’m the LUCKY one. ”

#▒ ❛ and whisper some silver reply ❜ 「replies. 」 #i totally don't know who sent those #no nope #not at all #khakislut #withasigh #▒ ❛ i fell in love the way you fall asleep - slowly and then all at once ❜ 「bobby/markus. 」 #▒ ❛ you take my hand leaving me breathless ❜ 「bobby. 」 #▒ ❛ hear the ghosts in the moonlight ❜ 「anonymous. 」

[angeluus-blog]

—- HELP ME OUT, OUT OF THIS NIGHTMARE.

                   (independent original character based upon the voice of moritz/markus abendroth from deaf west’s spring awakening.)

#▒ ❛ i love your light ❜ 「self/promotions. 」 #spring awakening rp #broadway rp #voice of moritz rp #indie rp #rp #moritz stiefel rp #independent rp #SO NOW THAT IM BACK #TIME TO BRING THIS BAD BOY BACK #HONESTLY FOREVER PROUD OF THIS PROMO TBQH ESP. AS A TERRIBLE PHOTOSHOP AMATEUR #SO HAPPY TO BE BACK

[angeluus-blog]

make me choose:     alex wyse or alex boniello

#▒ ❛ ten minutes ago you could see the entire horizon ❜ 「self. 」 #i just love this soft boy so much

[angeluus-blog]

" God forgot about me. "

I DON’T REMEMBER, THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS & IT HURTS || ( accepting !! )

          words fail. fingers ticking, digging nails deep inside his palms. as if to force his battered skin into place. trying desperately to search… to find something. there was only one thing he knew for certain– that of all people, if such a thing existed– a god could only be cruel if it managed to leave wendla bergmann behind. arguably– without her, there would be no meaning he could even associate with the idea. she held the world together, somehow with those gentle fingers– she kept it all in balance. creating light in places she may never even get to see. right there in other people…even-- in him.

          he knew– whatever he said may fall insignificant to this spirituality. it was something he could just never grasp. he’d stopped believing a long time ago. only given evidence of a dead deity. a corpse used by his father to crux above others, and damn him with the back of his hand– for it touched holier things in its pseudo-virtue. he knew he could never put his thoughts into an effective form of comforting. wendla’s god was much kinder, greater even than the one used as justification in his father’s house. it was one who looked over the world, cared for it– it was active, alive, a motivator… so when she lost sight of it– the world was less kind. frozen. 

          lost to how his soul could even try to bring a warmth. for in belief, his sphere was so shattered, he wasn’t quite sure if he could see through her window of passion quite enough to make her feel comfort.

          nails finally unlatched, leaving behind imprints of his intense forethought, “ i know… that you know… i’m not worthy of belief – but, i DO believe that any god would could ever forget about you… wendla… isn’t one at all. ”

          “ and if it be – i remember you, moritz remembers you, bobby remembers you, melchior remembers you, thea, anna, martha – we all do. && i’ll do anything… ANYTHING… to make up for that missing piece. ” 

#naaiivety #man i know this is a million years old #but better late than ever #bc i love you #and wendla so much #▒ ❛ and whisper some silver reply ❜ 「replies. 」 #songslight

[angeluus-blog]

“i can’t give up on you, so please don’t give up on yourself." - bo b by

 I DON’T REMEMBER, THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS & IT HURTS || ( accepting !! )

       there was a constant ring; inhabiting his ears and crawling through his insides. like a hoard of parasites– embedding themselves within the mind. taking pleasure from stripping free will. taking away the voice of reason in your head– waving it around like some prize game to be hung on the wall. out for DISPLAY. like a puppet following the commands of strings. victim to their own disabilities. things removed, patched back together, disintegrating at the simple touch of light. unable to hold up without the inhabitance of ghosts. leering in their self-indulgence. until the trigger found home in the impulsivity of self-destruction. 

       held together by mere physicality. bandages could only glue together so much. until it all came crashing back down. rivaled by the cementation of self-hatred; shattering glass. something deeper, not only embedded but embodied. something that not even running away could cut away. it still echoed. claiming parts of his life in its wake-- until... he found he felt nothing at all. but the stale, stagnant reality of sadness. one that never stopped. but kept growing. no matter how happy the world became-- it still LIVED and BREATHED, right there... in the wrapped, frayed medical remains of its carnage.

       teeth chewing at the ends of dead skin, leading a leak to spring from chapped, mistreated lips. allowing the metallic taste of blood to touch his tongue. disassociated eyes wandering the sterile walls of his latest stay. as the RIGHT voice finally echoed in. pulling his eyes to escape the desensitizing effect of white on white... he could never stop feeling. he felt all the time. so extremely, so enduringly. 

       maybe that’s exactly why his sadness kept trying to take him away... it wanted to be the only thing left to feel. “ i... ” words always failed. as salt began to sting skin-- etching into his cheekbones. leaving all too visible scars of an invisible war... that was sick of hiding-- one he didn’t even know how to fight. because suddenly, even those pieces of light-- failed within the realm of those dark embodiments of the demons that always managed to find a foot hole. making him even unable to face the one person he held most dear... whispering in hoarse tones-- trying to conceal the inevitable breaking down -- “ but - why can’t you ?? ... i’ve already lost. ”  unable to catch his breath, never able to meet his gaze. as blood shot eyes closed. hiding desperately in the depths of that cotton pillow, drenched in sweat.

       his opposite hand, left to the elements-- long lost scars playing future mirror to its bandaged counterpart.  --  bobby gave him light. he wanted to be better. live better. get to feel that warmth... all the time. but he couldn’t do it by himself-- as all things once had been. he couldn’t even just explain them to bobby... all he knew, was it couldn’t fix itself, but-- he didn’t even know where to look to find the patches. 

        free fingers, left with faint stains of the other’s momental sacrifice to the war, signed quietly to himself, “ ... and i just don’t know where to win. ”

#khakislut #withasigh #▒ ❛ and whisper some silver reply ❜ 「replies. 」 #this just made me sad #why is this the stuff in my drafts

[angeluus-blog]

         there is a sudden jump back... something reminiscent of a delayed reaction. pulling his body out like a sling shot. shoulders cemented into the upright. shielding themselves off. pulling his body into cemented disembodiment. a disassociation so forthcoming, even the tick of his fingers ceased to move. just frozen in time, like a startled animal. misunderstanding reactions through the lens of viewing oneself in the realm of the constant wrong. finally pulling enough association to pull his legs back behind him. fingers holding close to his chest, circling, as the words to follow were caught up in hoarse forcing up, “ i’m sorry -- i didn’t mean... i - i never meant... i’m sorry. ”

[ @angeluus liked for a starter! ]

               “you can’t just sneak up on people like that!!” talia lectures but she doesn’t mean to, she’s just startled by the sudden appearance of the boy so close to her it makes her jump out of her skin.

#▒ ❛ window by window you try to look into this brave new you that you are ❜ 「verse two. 」 #pinkdocmartens