antsgal-blog

[antsgal-blog]

You want to know more about me

I love you more than anything.

When I was 3, I almost did not make it because I had strep and I had a really high fever and I had to go to the hospital.

Washing dishes because of the wet food grosses me tf out.

I hate eating and drinking off of people.

Monkeys are my absolute favorite animal and I want one as a pet :)

My family and I are big scuba divers

I have always wanted to go to a drive in movie for a date and lay under the stars (wink, wink)

1st - 4th grade, I was such a drama starter

I can get claustrophobic when I’m anxious

When I’m super anxious, I get really irritable

I have never hugged a guy, let alone kiss one lmao

I ran away when I was 3

For future reference, I can’t sit still so I always have to be doing something

When I was 5, my family and I went to Disney World and my mom tricked me on to going on Splash Mountain and I hated her for it.

I DATED A GIRL WHEN I WAS LIKE 10 AND DID NOT EVEN KNOW IT LMAO

I have a weird obsession with walking on rocks and digging them out of the ground. I find it satisfying lmao

I have never had a REAL bestfriend before

My parents have a naked picture of me in the bathtub when I was a baby and they put it in the yearbook :(

I drowned once

My dad's house has been burglarized (that was a fun experience)

My all time favorite movies growing up were: The Wizard of Oz and Aquamarine

Action movies with guns are my favoriteeee

Call of Duty and Assassin's Creed are my favorite games but I suck and can’t do crap (on COD, I have to play on recruit :( )

I cried after reading the Divergent series :’(

I rarely cry

I’m not really an affectionate person unless it’s with you

I love people playing with my hair!!!

Like 5 years ago, when feathers and little strips of dye in the hair was popular, I got it and I thought I was the shit.

I honestly really hate people but you already knew that

Crowds are a no go for me

Separation and social anxiety at it’s finest

Up until last year, I had to have my mom order for me

I can’t be the first to walk into a building or leave

When my mom asks me to go get something out of the car if we are somewhere or go get something by myself, I refuse bc it is scary af.

Being alone in a car at the store or a gas station is the scariest thing to me.

I used to be in girl scouts and I was so embarrassed lmaooo

When I was younger, for about two years, I believe Bloody Mary and ghosts were real so I refused to sleep in the dark or with my door shut so I would keep my light on, crack my door and sleep under my covers and never come out until morning.

I’ve never broken a bone. Yay me

When my brother and I went to the store, I’d wrap my arm in his and say we were married (WTF WAS I THINKING)

You’re going to laugh but I’m freaking serious. I have nightmares sometimes (only happened 3 times, last was a year ago) and I’d be lying down in bed and a potato would be above my head and toothpicks jabbing into it and I’d cry in my sleep until I make myself sick and have to be woken up. IDK WHY THIS HAPPENS

I’ve busted my chin open and gotten stitches near my eye :(

I really enjoy being alone

When I was 6, I always wanted to wear makeup so I’d put on this lipstick my mom had and my mom would say I looked like a Hoochie Mama :((

I also had these hella tall heels that I would wear around the house and I called them “hooker heels”

I had this neighbor who was a year older than me and she made me believe that I had powers (we both believed it tho) and we would go around our neighborhood and do things fight off bad witches.

I like mermaids for some odd reason and I so badly wanted to be one so like 5-6 years ago, I looked up “Ways to become a mermaid” and I would actually get in the bath and do little spells and rituals and go on websites to “make a wish”. I was a very desperate child.

When I took baths with my mom, I always wanted to be able to shave like her so she would give me shaving cream and I’d put it on my legs and then get a plastic spoon and act like I was shaving. I thought I was so cool.

I absolutely hate my middle name and refuse to tell anyone and I never have.

I have watched every Fast & Furious movie at least 10 times.

I find the Titanic movie to be absolutely horrible and not fun to watch.

Zac Efron is totally overrated

I sleep with this stuffed bear I have and cuddle with it as if it were you (ik, I’m weird.)

I’m deathly terrified of breathing and swallowing while watching a scary movie because I think something bad will happen and scare me and then I’ll choke.

I’m deathly allergic to Penicillin

One time I was riding my bike standing up and I fell forward and hit my vagina on the metal bar. Bruised for months and probably the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life

I have this boyfriend who is hot af

I can do a front flip and a front handspring on the trampoline :D

Rollercoasters are literally the best thing ever invented

I hate people complimenting me on my eyes because I’ve been told how pretty they are my whole life and it sucks when people only see that.

I’m scared of growing up

When I’m thinking of situations in my head, I make facial expressions to match what I see myself saying or thinking and I lowkey laugh at myself for it all the time

I’ve been told I’m really stubborn and overly dramatic but oh whale lmao

I’ve also been told I’m the nicest yet rudest person people have ever met :))

I’m probably the most gullible person ever

I LOVE HOODIESSSS but I love you more

[antsgal-blog]

You’re in the hospital

Fudgeeee. I’m probably freaking out right now, well, only if you decided to tell me and probably having the worst anxiety attack known to man. I wish I was with you right now and sitting beside you while holding your hand. I hate this so freaking much and it’s not fair. I need to be there with you more than anything but life sucks but you will get through this because you’re strong, both physically and mentally. I swear that once I am able to, I will always be by your side every second if you ever have to go to the hospital or even the doctors for a check up. I will make up for all the times I couldn’t for you and for me bc it’s so hard to live with myself knowing I can’t be there for you. I love you.

[antsgal-blog]

You don’t like what you see in the mirror

Whatever it is that you’re thinking right now, it is not true, not one bit. I know you’re struggling with your looks and how you see yourself but you are literally the definition of perfect. I know you have, or still are, struggling with eating but I need you to eat. You have to eat and you have to take care of yourself and your body, both mentally and physically. I know a big reason you don’t like what you see is because you look so much like your dad but whether or not you do, you are NOTHING like your dad. I know you would never lay a finger on anybody, especially your own child. You’re sweet, kind, charming, compassionate, selfless, caring, handsomely gorgeous, and just overall, perfect and that is the complete opposite of what your dad is. You may share blood with him but that is about as far as it goes. Our parents do not define who we are, not by any means and your dad is definitely nothing but a sperm donor to you. He has never been a true father to you and I know it hurts but that does not determine who you are as a person and how you should view yourself. You’re freaking gorgeous, like, you could be Hercules son or some shit. I mean, you are Greek ;) but seriously, you are so good looking and whether or not you look like your dad does not mean you are just like him. You share the same genes, that is it. I love you for who you are and you are NOT your dad.

[antsgal-blog]

You can’t take it anymore

I definitely hope you NEVER open this but I know there are rare times that you feel like not wanting to be here because it’s all becoming too much for you that you feel as though everyone and everything would be better off without you but believe me, that is far from the truth. I need you so badly. If I ever lost you, I’d die inside and I don’t know if I would be able to handle it. I know I say this all the time, but you deserve the absolute world. You deserve every positive and happy thing this world has to offer. Whatever it is that is making you feel this way (although I’m sure I know what it is), do NOT let it ever make you think that you’re better off dead because you are NOT. You’re absolutely perfect to me and I love you so much. I love every inch of you, inside and out. You deserve to be here just as every other person in this world but the difference is, you’re stronger than the rest of them. You will make it through all of this. This is all temporary. Think of what you want your future to be like and let it keep pushing you to keep going because one day, you’ll have it and you will look back and be proud of yourself for finding strength within yourself to keep going and not letting it hurt you so badly. So, whatever it is that you have in your hand (if you even do), put it down, throw it away, hide it, I don’t care but don’t you dare end your life because of something that won’t last forever. I will do everything in my power to help you and get you out of this mess but you’re going to have to talk to me and tell me everything for that to happen. You know you can trust me and it will always stay between us and I will always be here for you because I love you more than words could ever describe and I want to spend my life with you.

[antsgal-blog]

You feel alone

Listen to me, you are NOT alone. You will ALWAYS have me, no matter what. No matter what happens between us (even though I truly hope nothing will), I will always be here for you. You are my everything and more and I will always have a listening ear and a shoulder for you to cry on. Don’t ever think you’re not “manly” for crying. If crying helps you, then do it. I will never leave you, no matter what. You and I are inseparable and at least for me, attached at the hip and I need and want you to know that you are NEVER alone, especially not with me because I will always be here with you, right by your side through it all, no matter what life throws at you.

[antsgal-blog]

You’re thinking about our future

I see us together, forever. We’ve already talked so much about our future. We are going to have lots of kids, live in South Carolina, get married and have kids in our 20’s (when we are financially able to, of course), have a bomb ass wedding, travel the world together, Lila and Theo are our kids names and I think we should also add Athena bc I know how much you love that name, visit NY to see your sisters and your mom for the holidays, spend Christmas at home and just do everything together. I can not wait for us to finally be together and I’m looking forward to it more than anything. It feels like time is going by so slow but we have a 1-2 years left and I could not be more excited. I’m ready for us and a family and so much more with you.

[antsgal-blog]

You’re nervous

I don’t know why you’re nervous but whatever the reason may be, you got this. You can do whatever you set your mind to and I know you can go so far. You are too hard on yourself and put yourself down too much but believe me when I say that you can do anything. You have gone through so much and you are stronger than you have ever been. Whatever it is that you are nervous about, you’ll do amazing. I believe in you and you should believe in yourself just as much. This is nothing to many of the other things you have done and gone through. Don’t overthink this. I know your anxiety makes you over analyze and think of the worst possible scenarios but you can do this. I love you.

[antsgal-blog]

You’re angry with me

I’m sorry for angering you. Whatever it is that I did, I know I didn’t mean to purposely make you mad. I’m probably just as angry as you but no matter how angry you may be with me, please just tell me that you love me. Give me a couple hours to myself to calm down because I know for sure I’ll be crawling back to you and apologizing lmao. I hate making you mad and it’s cute how you always say you could never be mad at me but I know I do but you won’t admit it. Please don’t let this argument between us make you think about breaking up. We both know we will just make up and everything will be fine because that is what always happens. I love you, always.

[antsgal-blog]

You need a reminder of how much I love you

This one is kind of impossible to exactly show the amount of love I have for you but trust me, I love you more than you could ever possibly image. I fell in love with you so quickly and for so many reasons. As much as I hated it at the time, I’m kinda glad it took us a little longer to officially be together because I got to learn more about you in which I probably would not have otherwise.

50 REASONS WHY I LOVE YOU:

Your protectiveness

Your child like behavior

Your emotional vulnerability (although I know you hate that about yourself)

Your selflessness

Your ability to see the good in people

Your innocence (although sometimes it so kills the mood)

Your sensitivity

The fact you let me in more than you have with anyone else

When you know how to cheer me up (although I don’t think you realize that you know)

Your love for kids

Hottie tottie with a swimmer’s body

You always know how to make me laugh

You love COD so we can play together :D

Your jealousy when I’m around guys that flirt with me

The fact you know how to make me feel special

Your obsessiveness with the smallest things you love (ex. Crocs lmao)

Your shyness with new people is adorable

You’re hot asf when you’re angry and being an ass

They way I know you look and think about me

You’re always so understanding of me

The way you always instantly make me feel better when I talk to you

The fact that you see a future with me and already planning it

I love that you respect me in so many different ways

The big and small things you do for me

Knowing that our bodies fit perfectly together whether it’s from cuddling, holding hands and other things

You make me feel so comfortable around you and I know you’re comfortable around me

I love all the cute names you call me

I love that you (try to) love the same things I’m interested in

I love that you make me feel safe

I love your determination and courageousness

I love how we are very independent individuals but when we are together, we are inseparable

The way you make me feel when I see you

You could have any girl you wanted and yet, you still choose me

We just can’t ever leave each other

I could probably stare into your eyes for ages

When we argue about who loves who most

You know the most embarrassing things about me

You don’t take crap from anyone… except me :)

Finding out you liked me from the start and “lied” about none of your friends being on just so you had an excuse to talk to me (THAT WAS CUTE AF)

How you know I love my back rubbed although I have never actually told you lmao

You took a chance with me

How I can tell when you’re lying (bc I know you that well)

The way you apologize even though it’s over the silliest and smallest of things

You’re a tease both in and out of the bed ;)

You love everything about me, even my scars

You have taught and showed me so much and I owe it all to you

Your kindness

How an amazing father you will be one day

Your strength

I love loving you.

AND SO MUCH MOREEEEE!!

[antsgal-blog]

You can’t sleep

Please go to sleep because you know you’re going to be so tired in the morning. After you read this, you better go to sleep or I’ll kick your butt. Well, I love you… a lot and you’re so freaking adorable when you sleep (I don’t even have to see bc I’m psychic). You’re adorable no matter what but you’re super adorable when you’re sleeping like a little baby :) Maybe you should read to help you sleep bc I know how much you hate reading lmao. Cuddle up with a stuffed animal (although I’m pretty sure you already do, unless you don’t anymore). Please try to sleep bc I don’t want you staying up worrying or upset about something. You need your beauty rest lmao. Now please go, for meeeeeee? :((

[antsgal-blog]

You have a nightmare

I’m sorry you had a nightmare again. I wish I could be there to cuddle with you because maybe it would help. Your nightmares, they aren’t real. Just image that I’m there and in your arms. Even though I’m smaller than you (hehe), I’m going to protect you no matter what. You’re safe, ok? Just breathe and try to relax. Listen to music if it helps or write down how you’re feeling in a journal to get it off your mind. Whatever helps you fall asleep, do it. I’m sorry you have to go through this without me actually being there with you. If I could be there with you right now, I would. You’re ok. If it gets really bad, maybe we can find a way for you to alert me or something in the night when you really need me. I wouldn’t care what the time was. If you need me, I’m there. Just lay down and try to breathe. In and out. Sleep baby. I love you.

[antsgal-blog]

You don’t feel needed

I need you. I need you more than anything. If I lost you, I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you. I would literally break inside. I thought I lost you once, not because you were hurt but because you didn’t think you could be with me anymore and I broke down and I was miserable. I need you because you are my sanity and literally the thing that keeps me going and make me want to be alive. You make me smile and laugh and you make me happy when I’m down. You don’t even realize how happy you make me and you do it without even trying. You are needed, especially by me, more than anything. I’d die for you without hesitation and I wouldn’t regret a thing. You deserve to be so much happier than anyone on this earth (even though this is kinda biased, idgaf bc it’s true). You underestimate yourself WAY too much. You’re lovable, funny, outgoing, caring and selfless and I could never ask for a better boyfriend than you.

[antsgal-blog]

You don’t feel loved

I honestly hate that you had to open this because I’m not showing you enough of how much I love you. I’m failing and I hate that. I love you so freaking much, oh my god. I don’t even know how to explain how much I love you because nothing can describe my feelings for you. If you ever ask me how much I love you, the answer is: from here. This answer may not make sense to you and if it does, then you understand how much I love you and how much you mean to me. (if you don’t understand, ask and I’ll explain LMAO). If you had any idea though, omg, you’d understand so much of the pain and torture I’ve gone through. I was diagnosed with separation anxiety. It was literally up until a couple years ago that I stopped sleeping with my mom (mainly because I was forced out since she got re-married). When I’m not with you, my heart hurts, literally. I feel like it is breaking and I can’t breathe and all I do is worry and check my phone over and over again. I know it’s not healthy that I am so very attached to you but that shows how much I love and care about and it is more than I ever have with anyone in my entire life. You make me so happy and I hope you never doubt my love for you.

[antsgal-blog]

It’s our anniversary

Depending on when you opened this, we could be together for 9 months now or even a year but whatever the time being is, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING and I’m so happy that I have been spending the last (however many months) together with you. It has been an emotional rollercoaster at times, mostly being my fault (sorry), but thank you for not giving up on me. You have made me a better person without even trying and have made me grow as a person. I’ve learned new things from you, especially what it means to love and be loved. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I would not want to be going through life and all of its obstacles with anybody else by my side.

[antsgal-blog]

You’re bored

Sorry if I’m boring you, I know I’m pretty boring lmao. As I’m writing this, I’m feeling SUPER hungry and I really want salt and vinegar chips :( We can talk about our future or the most randomest things like how when I swam with dolphins one time, my bathing suit bottoms came off (whoops), we can watch a movie together (yea, sounds impossible but we both get on Netflix and watch it at the same time hehe), you can go out and have fun with friends or swim (although it would have to be indoors). The other day I was going into the living room and I had my computer in my hands and when I was climbing over the gate in my doorway (so my dog doesn’t get in and eat my chinchillas), I fell, like face first and my knees hit the ground really hard so now I have a gigantic bruise on my right kneecap :’) NOW GO UNBORE YOURSELF :D

[antsgal-blog]

You need strength

You’re probably opening this because you feel as though you can’t get through whatever life is throwing at you but you can and I believe you can! You are the strongest person I know and I’m not just saying that because I have to. You have and continue to go through so much and you keep pushing and going. Find that one thing that keeps you motivated and keep going and pushing through. Remember that whatever it is, it is NOT forever. You’re strong, determined, courageous and brave and nothing could ever take that away from you.

[antsgal-blog]

You need to smile

You’re probably upset right now, probably because of your dad, or maybe even because of me, but whatever the reason may be, I want to see you smile, always. Even though I have never seen you smile, I know it is my most favorite thing to see because I know that you’re happy. Your smile is literally the most beautiful and best thing in the world. I want you to always be able to smile and be happy. You can always talk to me and tell me what is on your mind and I will go out of my way to help and be there for you. Breathe through whatever it is that is upsetting you. You will get through it. Don’t let it affect you this much. Cheer up, for me? I actually dream about the days when we will be together and the things we would do and talk about. I think about being able to talk on the phone with you and facetiming you until we both fall asleep. I know right now we can’t have that but knowing that someday we will, keeps me going. I see us acting young and in love and like little kids. I love you and please smile. :)