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astheskycries · 6 hours

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Ahhhhh I adore this so much!!!

Invisible

Steve Rogers x avenger!reader (-ish)

Words: 2.2k

Summary: The newest member of the avengers feels invisible. A shitty mission and social media brings her to her breaking point. See what happens when she confronts the team.

Warnings: angst, mentions of death (briefly)

A/N: not me dipping for like two years and returning. Sorry it took me so long, I'll try to write more often now. Hope you enjoy this little one shot that was caused by me feeling invisible.

Another mission successfully completed. It's your fifth mission as an Avenger and you couldn't be happier that it's over.

Two weeks, two exhausting weeks with Hydra finding their single brain cell and not being predictable this time. But it's over now, you can return home to the tower and spend time with... no one.

The Avengers were nice, they really were. Welcoming you with open arms, always striking up conversation when you were around but you couldn't miss that no one ever asked you to spend time with them besides the team activities. They didn't mean it, you're sure of that but you can't stop the pang in your heart when Wanda and Nat make shopping plans right in front of you and don't invite you. Or when Steve and Bucky plan a little day trip and think of inviting Sam to come along but not you who was sitting right next to him on the couch.

More than once the delivery person forgot your food. Steve was always nice enough to share one of his three portions with you but not even the delivery person struck you as important enough to remember your order.

You find yourself in the hallway after the debrief. Everyone was tired, exhausted and done. Your eyes flicker over the little friend groups building to walk back to the common area together. Clint who has been shot hanging off Natasha's shoulder, laughing at something she said. Sam and Bucky bickering with Steve walking between them like an over exhausted dad. Tony and Bruce talking big ideas to improve suits, weapons and the team. Wanda and Vision lost in each other, holding hands. And then there was you. Standing in the hallway, surrounded by people, watching and still feeling utterly alone. Agents flutter around you, not even giving you a glance. Sometimes you just feel so invisible... So unimportant. Like you shouldn't even be a member of this team.

Tired feet carry you to your room, you take the route that's longer but it avoids the common area. Your heart can only take so much. And all you need right now is a hot shower, your bed and mindless scrolling through social media. You're not even in the mood to eat lunch. At least not in the common room. The stash of protein bars under your bed will have to do.

So you take a long warm shower, letting the water run over your body while Taylor Swift's voice fills the room alongside the humidity that lets the mirror fog. You dry yourself, slip into comfy pyjamas and soon enough your head meets your pillow. You breathe in the scent of home and crawl under the comforter. Finally your hand reaches for your phone. You've been gone for a while, you probably missed some things. Your phone starts up slowly and some notifications come through. You have missed emails -most of them newsletters-, a few notifications of Instagram -celebrities and acquaintances posting things- and no one reaching out to you personally. Your eyes fall shut for a moment as your heart breaks a little more. You really thought you're a decent human being... Why did no one like you? Why did no one think of you?

Your thumb hovers over the Instagram icon, trying to decide if you should open the app. With a sigh you open it, a little mindless scrolling could do no harm. Right?

Wrong. Somehow you land on the official avengers account. Your eyes scanning the pictures. There has been one new post while you were gone - a picture of the team minus you. Wasn't your portrait supposed to be posted to announce you as a new member? Maybe they had to push it back... Or maybe they didn't want you on the account. Would explain why you're the one who's cropped out of the group picture. The caption mentions something about the team answering questions soon and telling people to comment what they always wanted to know. You know that Instagram comment sections are a different kind of world. One that can be really positive or just down right toxic. Yet you still click into it, curious what questions you'd find.

Some of them ask for Natasha's makeup routine, a lot ask for Steve to finally post a shirtless picture on his account, some ask why Bucky always looks so grumpy. There's genuinely nice questions asking for self defense tips or if they can come to schools to visit kids. And then there's the comments that are just plain rude, insulting about any member of the team. And then there's this one...

Cropped the new girl out already huh? Knew that ugly incompetent chick wasn't made for this team. Good riddance.

No matter how hard you tried you couldn't tear your eyes off it. Your pupils scan over the words again and again and again. Till hot tears spilled. Till you completely lost it as an ugly sob tore through you. You weren't good enough for this team, for your family, for your friends, for anyone or anything in this world. You were invisible and you always would be.

Logically you knew that keeping all of this in and being exhausted by the two week long mission was causing this break down. If you would have told someone you felt this way, things would be different. But your emotions got the better of you. Which is how you found yourself on a very determined march to the common area. Jammies on, your phone clutched in your hand, tears streaming down your hardened face. Your brain didn't even process your way here, you just suddenly found yourself in front of the avengers who were eating dinner - without you. You're met with some concerned faces but before anyone can say anything your words cut the thick air.

"I quit." You say, voice wobblier than you intended. The lump in your throat growing by the second. "What? Y/N what brought this on? I know the mission was hard but..." before a very concerned Steve could finish his sentence you cut him off. "This isn't about the fucking mission, Rogers." Your voice is full of venom. "This is about... You know what this is about this" you wave your hand around the room. Gazes turn to confusion. "And this!" You shove your phone into Steve's face, the group picture you've been cropped out of on the display.

"A picture of us? I don't... Understand..." Steve breaks the silence after a moment. "A picture of you. You guys and oh would you look at that... A little bit of my sleeve over there." You point out. "I've been cropped out." You explain further.

"Alright firecracker you know we're not responsible for the account. That's the social teams doing." Tony jumps in. "Yeah. Yeah you're right. You know what's your doing though?" You say as you retract your phone out of Steve's face. You slide it in your pocket and take a steadying breath. "Not inviting me to join activities, not telling the fucking delivery guy that maybe, just maybe there's a new member on the team after he forgot my food for the third fucking time in a row. Skipping my turn to pick a god damn movie because you all forgot to tell me you're doing an improv movie night. Walking back from a debrief in your little groups, none of you even thinking of just waiting a second so I can at least walk with someone. Oh and this. You're having dinner, the team, and who wasn't here until she stormed in? Me." You didn't realise that your voice got louder, the frustration got the better of you. "And it's not just this. No one thinks I belong here. No one in the comments of that post, not the press... Hell, even Friday still calls me recruit. If you don't want a new member on the team just say so. I'll leave. You'll never see me again. I'll turn invisible like I always feel... Like I am." you add quietly now, not even sure if anyone but you heard it. The lump in your throat is impossibly thick and finally it completed its mission and tore another sob from you. It hurts. It hurts to not belong. It hurts to be invisible. There's a short silence before the scraping of a chair on the floor fills the air. Mere seconds later you're wrapped up in strong arms, pulling you into a much needed hug. A large hand rubs your back.

"This is... We don't want you to leave. We... I never noticed we did that... You're just... It has been so long since we added a new member... This is a bullshit excuse I know. I'm sorry." Steve mumbles into your hair. His warmth seeps into your body as your tears wet his shirt. "Why didn't you tell us earlier? You know you can always come to me to talk" he adds softly after a moment. You let out a shaky breath. And another... And another, trying to find your voice after this pathetic performance. "I..." you croak out and immediately stop. Steve's hand rubs up and down your back.

"I felt the same way." The voice of Wanda pulls your face out of Steve's chest, your watery eyes finding hers. "I joined the team after my brother died. I've always been with him. I never felt alone but... Then I did. And believe me they don't do it on purpose. They have their little groups inside of this big one and they don't immediately think about including someone new. I'm sorry that I didn't think about it." She says softly. "I always felt alone in the beginning, I never got invited to go places, the press tore me apart because this random European with weird powers was suddenly a member of the earth's mightiest heroes, the social team didn't post my introduction portrait... I also wanted to quit but... then they organised a dinner with Paprikash... They made it for me because they thought I was homesick... and I realised that they do care about me. And I promise you, we do care about you. Steve made sure to tell the restaurant twice to not forget your order today." She points to the unopened container. "And when Nat wanted to get you for dinner she heard that you were showering and then we assumed you just needed some time for yourself."

Your eyes wander over the concerned faces of the team, then back to Wanda, then to the container of food, then finally to Steve. "You told them to remember my food?" You whisper. He nods immediately.

"Not because I don't like to share mine! Because I thought you'd like yours more and it happened three times already and I..." He gets cut off as you hug him back with a bit too much force. "Thank you" you whisper before you let him go and look at the team. "I'm sorry for the outburst... I... should have said something earlier but I… I felt so invisible and it's not like many people care about me in general and then I read some comments under the post and I... My brain shut off." You look down at your bare feet, not brave enough to face any of them.

"Friday? Please call Y/N firecracker from now on." Tony was the first to speak and as you looked at him in surprise he just gave you a smirk before going back to his food. Other team members give you smiles, small nods, Clint even signs that it's all good to you.

Steve's warm hand finds the small of your back and leads you to the table, to your unassigned spot right next to him. Both of you sit down and you open your food, your heart fills as you see your order. Low chatter fills the room as you eat. Wanda invites you to go shopping the next day, Sam invites you to mario kart after dinner. You feel stupid, oh so stupid. You should have just said something earlier. This all could have been avoided.

"I know why your portrait didn't get posted yet." You frown as you look at Bucky who simply smiles. "Stevie here…" his hand falls on the shoulder of his friend. Steve's eyes fill with dread, his ears turn pink. "...knows that you weren't happy with it. So he told the social team to hold off posting it until he can sketch a new portrait of you." His lips are parted in a shit eating grin. Steve is blushing madly, trying to hide it by staring at the tabletop. His fists clenching.

"You... Want to draw a portrait of me?" You ask softly, looking at the blonde next to you. After a few seconds he simply nods, his eyes still fixed on the table. "Because I didn't like the one the photographer took?" your lips pull into a small smile as he gives you another nod. "Why would you do that?" you ask softly.

"Because he has a big fat..." Bucky starts but is quickly interrupted by a death glare of his blonde friend. The former assassin gets out of his seat and proceeds to put some distance between the two super soldiers, Steve's eyes follow him with the same warning glance.

"...crush on you." Bucky finishes and immediately takes off running. Steve's chair falls to the floor as he jumps up to run after him. Your eyes follow the two of them, Bucky's snickers and Steve's curses filling the air.

Maybe... Just maybe you weren't invisible after all.

And you knew you weren't when Steve found you later that night with the sketch of you in his hand and a confession on his lips.

#FIC REC

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