ayvenrae

[ayvenrae]

Hi can you please make a guide on Blair Waldorf please

blair waldorf: a guide

character

romanticize studying and prioritize intelligence; blair is literally the definition of hot and educated.

confidence and self-stability is key; realize you are the only you there will ever be!

realize you cannot control other people, you can only control you.

“you can’t make people love you, but you can make them fear you.”

don’t be afraid to be determined, passionate, and GO HARD for what you want and don’t give it up for anyone.

“if you really want something, you don’t stop for anyone or anything until you get it.”

set standards for all relationships. you deserve to be surrounded by your kind of people and have what you want.

“the most important thing in a relationship is trust. after sex. and hygiene. and earning potentials.”

don’t be afraid to be a little selfish sometimes. if your goals require you to keep to yourself, study all the time, move, whatever it may be, do it and realize there will always be people that try to keep you where you are and stop your growth, but keep your eyes on the prize and don’t let it happen!

“whoever said that money doesn’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.”

fashion

old money style!

headbands that match the accents in your outfit

heels, low or high. your choice!

collared tops, especially in fall and winter

black or white tights

plaid! like long plaid coats and plaid skirts

pearls

button-up tops

classy floral prints in summer and spring

bows! both in your hair and around your collar

hair is usually in loose curls

things to do to feel like blair

shop! especially for accessories like bags and shoes

watch an audrey hepburn movie

have a spa day! eat some chocolate and take a bubble bath

take time to make yourself feel pretty and put together

read a magazine

read classic literature

drink tea from your prettiest mug

have a sleepover!

[ayvenrae]

Haha earlyyy this month when this blog was new I had this ask about how to deal with m3n / misogyny at the workplace and idk if sis still hangs around to read but after watching barbie ;

1. 1/2 of my office thinks I'm connected to some powerful family/politician bc I dress, walk and talk the part plus the higher ups and i are on good terms (social climbing 101) and there's just no reason the bosses would be so nice to an intern unless they have to so most people didn't even try

2. I established myself an unavailable early enough. I'm always busy. Designing on canvas. Writing a report. Scrolling through tumblr. Watching anime. Reading Manga. Once I sit on that desk don't talk to me unless you have to. And I dont mean im a bitch about it, im not. I just don't look up from whatever I'm doing and you have exactly two minutes before I look up with a painfully fake smile and "do you mind? I'm caught up right now" and look back and completely shut you out. When it came to my superiors I was as interested as my job goes. Once the topic strays from my job I'm looking out the window and faking disinterest (faking bc ofc I'll get the tea). People got the idea early enough im just not available.

3. No one in that office knows anything about me. I'm not even private 80% I'll answer a direct question I just learned the art + seductive power of making the conversation about the other person. So now I have info and they feel like I'm interested in who they hate and they know nothing about me and when I have to answer a question I give the vaguest answers known to man.

"Soo what do you do at night?"

"Sleep mostly. You? You have party boy vibes. Do tell".

Familiarity breeds disrespect. Never forget that.

4. In cases of direct misogyny I speak to men the way they stereotypically speak to women

" Why are you being so emotional "

"You're overreacting"

"I can't speak to you when you are acting like this"

"Get a hold of your emotions this is embarrasing"

"Talk to me when you're done blowing up"

WORKS EVERY TIME

[ayvenrae]

"Why can't I stop doing X and Y?"

Because it keeps you safe.

Ladies I need us to understand there is no such thing as self sabotage, it doesn't exist. Your body, biologically, mentally, physically, works to ensure your survival and it does that by keeping you safe and comfortable, whatever it takes. It doesn't matter if it's good for your growth, is it good for survival? We keep that.

I need you to understand right now even when it's fucking up your growth your mind is literally doing it out of love, and you should be thanking it, not condemning it. When your brain remembers the last time you went camping at ten and everyone laughed at you and you were in pain so that risked your survival it will never allow you to go to camp again, doesn't matter if it's part of a retreat. You may have forgotten but ah your brain your brain keeps score and it will do everything, every single thing in it's power (which is a tremendously huge amount of power) to keep you from that pain so you bulldoze through your anxiety but fall sick the morning of that camp and you wonder what's wrong with me am dumb and no that's literally your brain fighting for you. When you have an intruder in your blood your body raises its temperature to fight it and you call that a fever and it's bad when it's literally your body saving you. You get pregnant and stressed and your body decides nah see we need to survive so it gets rid of the baby to ensure you survive and you hate it for it.

Your habits keep you safe. Your triggers keep you safe. Your fears keep you safe. Time is an illusion and your brain is still six years old completely terrified of men and you forgot because it blocked that memory out to keep you safe but it remembers so when your boyfriend, kind, loving, understanding boyfriend hugs you you push him away and run and you get home and think okaaay wtf was that and that, Ma'am, is the only thing in this planet capable of protecting you doing just that.

I'm telling you your brain remembers everything you chose to forget, and even what you remember. It's still three when dad raised his hand at you and it'll never allow you to be in the same room as him. It's will eight when a person in authority hurt you so it will never bow to a boss. It's still eleven when your friends pranked you so nah we aren't doing that friendship thing anymore no. Its still yesterday when you fell down the stairs so nah elevator or anxiety, your pick.

The first step to change is to kick off self sabotage from your dictionary, that doesn't exist. The second is to fall irrevocably, irreversibly undeniably in love and gratitude with your mind, your bad habits and your triggers, a security system dedicated to keeping you safe. The third, and most important, is to find her.

Her.

That ten year old in your head that got pranked. Close your eyes and go to her. Give her a hug, tell her they're dumb af and you love her. Sit with her and let her talk. Listen to her, then softly, lovingly, bring her to 23 year old you. Tell her she was worthy of love then, she is now, she will be in ten years, and bring her with you. Show her hey that sucked, but its over, this is who we are now. Grown and strong, and we want friends. Will you allow us to have friends ? If they hurt us? Oh we ruin them obviously. THEN and only then will you be able to go out and do all that.

You can bulldoze yourself through anxiety and triggers and you can medicate it down and you can CBT (and that helps, tremendously) but until you find the part of you trying to keep you safe and let it know you are safe now, we aren't four we are twenty six and we are gods, your planners, reminders, journals, commitments are useless. Your brain will keep you safe. WhateverWhatever it takes. Your best bet is to let it know you are safe. Let that girl rest. Take her to her safe place and bring with you permission. Dumb bitch points if you try manipulate or gaslight a part of you into submission you literal psychopath.

Hypnotherapy. Shadow work. Memory trips, whatever it takes. Find her

What is wrong with me? Why am I like this?

What happened to me for me to turn out like this?

[ayvenrae]

The harsh truth is no one cares. Unless you have done something with it, no one cares.

No one cares that you were the smartest kid in your class if you have not made a career out of your academic achievements no one cares that you were good at volleyball if you didn't play in a national team no one cares that you have long, enticing model legs if you did not get into the industry no one cares that you have a mathematical mind that could do something great if you're not actively doing something great NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR POTENTIAL unless you're giving it form.

"Omg I'm sure a good writer, in fact im better than casey McQinston" yet when I ask for some sort of manuscript? Wattpad account? Published poetry, even online?? Nothing. Casey has a book, where's yours to compare with? But you're a really good writer. You could be a singer you have the vocals okay do you have a tiktok or something? No? You just sing?? You sing better than Harry Styles and hes overrated okay thats cool do you have an original or not? Cover? How do I compare? Pure potential? What do I do with that? Even in job interviews they want some sort of experience- your potential is capable of a form, that's great. Give it the form or stay trapped in the delusion of accomplishment.

You need to do something with it, and before you make excuses we live in the age of free marketing tools where instagram and tiktok are creating new stars everyday, hold it. You get LinkedIn and Canva etc etc what's your excuse.

"I'm just shy". "I have anxiety" Well honey that sounds like a you problem. In this corner of the internet I keep it real and here's the thing - recruiters won't come to your room to offer you a job because you're shy. No one. Your audience won't climb into your bedroom window and turn their backs because you're shy and they want to make you comfortable. You'll be 60 with wasted talent and potential telling your kids all you could have been and it'll make good conversation only thrice before they get tired of hearing about it and turn to their phones mid sentence. None of us will write you a 1M $ cheque and go [hey that's for the concert you could've thrown today but we get it you have anxiety you can't but you're a really really really great singer you're just shy w anxiety so here's your cheque] Nope. You make a choice. Your dreams or your comfort zone.

Either you make something out of it or you don't. That's the determining factor of your success. Not you could have been good at it. Not you have the potential for it. "If someone gave me a chance" lmao. Either you do something towards it or it's a bonfire story that's only good the first three times.

There's people out there with a quarter of your talent killing it and everyday you tell yourself they're just privileged but you and I know there are people just like you that have made their way but to acknowledge that is to acknowledge your lack of discipline and work ethic so you focus on Kendall Jenner being a Jenner like 70% of world supermodels aren't self made, like over 83% of succes stories aren't rags to riches from people who had it rougher than you. "He's a Rothschild " okay what about Steve Jobs?

Potential energy is useless until it's turned into actual harnessable and usable energy, until you do something with it don't talk about it no one cares. It gets old real quick. Results / effort or silence, your pick.

Go big or go home

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[ayvenrae]

The one thing studying in an elitist private high school as one of only six people of color and being broke and under scholarship taught me is that we dont fight the system. We make the system fight itself while benefitting us. Here are a few examples

This girl, lets call her Sara and her minions. Sara was committed to letting me know she was wealthy and i wasnt, except she did it in that nice girl im just being friendly and sharing my life im not bragging this is just my reality and im being inclusive so you dont feel left out. So this one time Sara is letting me know of her summer plans at her summer home in that tropical island with a private beach and you know it has like sooooo many rooms and omg we just drive around and sometimes i do my friends shopping its just you should help when you can you know its just nice and i casually dropped 'ohkay ill get a plane ticket for summer it will be so much fun together' and she shoots me that huh look and i go 'oh sorry its just you keep saying you want me to feel included and you can pay for everyone and you wish i could see it but i get that you dont want to parade some little poor colored kid i just didnt think that mattered to you '. Safe to say i had a great fully sponsored summer networking and fraternizing with some quality people and that was the last time that bragging thing happened and she HAD to play nice because thats what she had marketed herself as.

This other girl, we call her Allie. Relatively nice but in need of having me know she knows people. Gets annoying real fast like i get it. Anyway Allie is telling me of her friendship with a son of one of the most powerful names in the country. So i play 'riiiiiight if you say so' and Allie goes no i mean it here ill text him and videocall him and i go riiiiight okay no i get you know him but are you sire youre that close? THAT close? Uh huh. so to prove a point Allie sets up a meeting with said boy on Friday and decides to drag me along so i can see for myself. Guess who got me my internship.

This toe looking Andrew Tate wannabe in my building that lets everyone know women should get married and stay at home and have kids. The other girs do that feminist debate that leaves them angry and disrespected. Anyway Toe Tate drops that shit on me and i go riiiiiiiiiight? Exactly. As a traditional, religious and conservative woman (i dress the part too) i get what you mean. Women need men. Do you know how hard it is to get my bags to my floor? This is mans job. After i finish my studies im getting married. No im in my first year actually. How long? Six years. No its just im an only child and if i dont get a bachelors my family will be shamed. My dads reputation means a lot to me. Of course ill be a stay at home mom. No my dad pays for this haha. No way boyfriends? Im traditional i cant have sex outside matrimony. No way'. So anyway now Toe Tate is Butler Tate that carries All my baggage for me, does all the heavy work in my apartment (for free), goes out of his way to care for me and sings my praises (and by association all his friends do the most for me) because he ReSPecTs Me knowing full well ill never put out while my sister and i have feminist conversations as i get my plumbing done.

My fineeeeeeee specimen of a boss who is also a sexist pig that abuses his power to coerce young employees into sex and hides behind this veil of a religious man that donates to charity and posts verses of his religious texts and a social justice warrior that publishes articles against people in power that abuse their employees. Sadly a lot of the other interns got tugged in by dangling the carrot of permanent employment and most of them dealt by resigning or speaking against him which is shootimg yourself in the foot your story will get buried by his new feminist article and this is the peoples picture perfect man and you cant afford to sue. When it was my turn in the slaughter room and the old 'You know i could make you a permanent employee ' i did that weird 'feminine' baby laugh predators fall for batting eyelashes and went "youd have to sign that on camera and hand me the original copy" and ALL HAIL performed femininity bc the dumbass actually did and kept postponing meeting alone when it was time to go out together i showed up in the most conservative yet feminine outfit ever and led the conversation to 'i love that youre a religious man. Truly. Most men these days dont get it. Always expecting sex but its sacred. Right? Sex is sacred. Husband and wife. Thats why im glad working with you. You get it. I love that you dont try things ugh i know those allegations against you were dumb. Look at you. Gentleman through and through. ' and bla bla more bullshit like i wouldnt sin with him if he wasnt my boss and walked out of that date with a whole ass 'if youre ever ready for marriage im here' (EW), a permanent employment and a man that rEsPecTs me because they just DoNt MaKe WoMeN liKe YoU anyMorE. Lol.

The point is to find the loophole and exploit it. Fighting a system thats protected by hundreds of years of indoctrination, kings and monarchies and billionaires and empires as some girl is a losing war. Youll end up ostracized and worn out wth no tangible results. If Princess Diana and Prince Harry and Elon Musk and Donald Trump failed what makes you think you can. If you really want to make a change do it underground otherwise in public drop the social justice warrior act and look out for your own interests.

That system meant to opress you. Make it your bitch. Make mommy proud.

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[ayvenrae]

HOTNESS 102; HOW TO BE INTERESTING

1. Knowledge

You must have at least a superficial level knowledge of as many topics as possible. Nothing worse than someone that can not contribute to a conversation. You do not have to dominate the table but ma'am read the headlines and diversify your literary genre (and film) and listen to as many people as you can. There are topics that are 'household topics', say, politics, celebrity gossip (not recommended, like who are you hanging with lol) , economy, gender politics, religion, sports, fashion and beauty, technology, philosophy etc. More often than not these topics surface in every conversation depending on who is on your table. Customize accordingly.

2. Breadcrumb

Interest is rooted in mystery, and mystery is amplified by breadcrumbing. Learn to tell people as little as possible, but in a way that's social and welcoming, no one wants to socialize with a clod hearted i-dont-like-people person. Learn to give vague answers and keep most of the real stuff to yourself, the less people know about you the more interesting you are.

3. Be attractive (?)

I'd like to explain this but we all know we like pretty people.

When I say attractive I don't mean conventionally pretty , I mean well groomed and well kept. I'll take one for the team and let you know the only people moved by conventional attractiveness are high school boys, your pretty privilege dies at the door, but at least it gets you in. Play with make up and style and perfume to create an "ethereal " look, not as much pretty as, irresistible. I don't know how to explain this but we all know that one woman that isn't even pretty but we can't look away. They have us in their clutch and in all honesty sis isn't that cute but we can't look away.

That.

Play with your unique features and stand out.

3. Do not, in fact, be like other girls.

Before you revoke my feminist card, hear me out. No one likes generic. Not even you. What makes Birkin that ridiculously expensive and in demand isn't the material, they don't import fabric from Mars, its the exclusiveness of it. Be the Birkin.

If you ever say "I'm not like other girls" me and all your ancestors will cringe in shame lol. I mean, find something that stands out. It can be as little as a detail in your outfit or a word you use or a topic you're a real need about or an interest, find some way (that you enjoy) that stands out.

The fun part of this is it already existes, we are born different and each unique in our own way. Find it, if you don't like it find something else.

4. Wit.

Uh. Yeah I will not be explaining this, the girls that get it get it the girls that don't, don't.

5. Honesty/straightforward.

There's something wildly irresistible about women that don't do circles. This is especially for my women with what would be considered (out of place) backgrounds?

I remember being one of two black girls in high school and while sis went all conforming and whitewashed I threw my braids into a ponytail or rocked whatever "allowed" hairstyle I could and not think about it and when anyone asked about my culture, hair, background, etc I answered matter of factly. I mean you won't touch my hair but braids take eight hours to make. Yes they hurt. &c.

When you're comfortable enough with a part of you that (you're not supposed to be?) It's attractive. We all want someone that's unfazed an complete, it makes you interesting to be around.

6. Be agreeable.

Again, leave my feminist card alone and hear me out, okay?

No one likes a disagreeable person..no one. If you shoot points down the second they're made being the loudest in the room no one will talk to you. No one.

Take yourself off that little godlike pedestal you're standing on baby you know I believe in you but your opinions aren't law. Your belief system isn't superior and you do not, in fact make the rules on what is okay to believe and isn't. You shoot yourself in the foot every single time you shut someone down. Give people the space to be themselves and watch them flock toward you. You don't have to fake aggreability, there's a high value way to disagree without burning bridges- I'm also not saying let people speak to you how they want. I'm saying learn duality and tolerance, let people be them. When that Pro life Andrew Tate Wannabe is running his mouth your little feminist speech is lost. Let the man talk, nod and give him the space to finish what he's saying (respectfully, or burn him) , validate whatever points make sense to you and shrug the others off.

Once people realize you're a safe space it's open season for you.

7. It's about them.

Always.

The highest seductive power existing is found in listening. Deep inside we all want to b understood. We all want someone to listen and validate us. We want to open up and be received.

Learn to do this.

Not 25 hours, and please know when you're being used as a trauma dump/ therapist, cut that shit out. Leave space to talk about yourself, you also deserve to be heard plus that's how connections are formed, common ground, but in every conversation ask yourself "what do they want?" To be validated? To feel heard? Sympathized with? Will you benefit from playing into it? Move accordingly.

Whole kingdoms have fallen and been conquered because kings felt heard for the first time. Remember this.

8. Storytelling

See sis no one cares for one word dry responses. No one. Noooo one. Learn to captivate an audience. Train your voice, posture, gestures, cadence such that you can not be ignored (an example of this is Norma Jean/ Marylin Monroe). Practise practise makes perfect. Don't stop until you start talking and the entire table goes quiet.

9. Confidence .

Yes I know I owe yall. Yes it's still coming.

Shy people are only interesting to pedophiles and people that wanna screw you into your mattress , love. No one takes a shy adult woman seriously unless he's trying to hit /they have that mother complex/ mommy X daddy issues, and even then it gets exhausting. Shy introverts finish last. If I have to draw words out of you and still read between your fidgeting etc you're cute for an hour then I'm done. You're an adult. Learn to act like one.

10. Be an expert in something.

Self explanatory.

Website

[ayvenrae]

"How do you get everything you want " is such a good question because no its not manifesting or attracting or feminine pussy power energy femme Fatale dark femininity whatever. It's because I learned how to ask.

A raise? Meeting w the boss it is. That cool airbnb that's not in my budget but I want? K we call the owner /manager. Event but no tickets? Who am I calling? An assignment that I want assigned to someone else? Let's have lunch together. Hell one time I got an entire plane ticket from someone at the airport and opera ticket from someone outside the opera.

I get what I want because i have the power of negotiation and communication

And I don't mean finesse, I don't curve people that's a real fast way to set yourself up for failure, if they don't catch you karma will. Life does not favor liars, I don't manipulate. I lay it on the table as it is. I want that assignment. What do I have to do to get it. Will I one up you? Probably. Will I do whatever is in my best interests? Of course. One thing I won't do though is lie or blindside. This is what I want. What needs to be done.

Ladies Everything, every single thing you get in life will be handed to you by another human being. Your house your car your job your marriage your kids. Everything. Every single thing you have you've been provided for by a person. Save the oxygen in your lungs. Hell even your genetics came from someone.

Power, real power is in communication and negotiation. No amount of loa and manifesting and pussy power feminine energy femme Fatale dark femininity whatever mumbo jumbo will save you from that. Eventually you'll get it from someone. Learn to talk to people. If you have to take communication classes do it. If you have to exposure therapy DBT do it. If you need a coach get one. If you have to read all the negotiation books do it.

Success, all forms of it, is completely dependent on your ability to effectively communicate and negotiate. Everything else is supplementary.

Website

[ayvenrae]

HOTNESS 101: HOW TO BE MORE ATTRACTIVE

There are plenty blogs and videos etc on how to dress, walk , talk, etc to be more attractive (usually with an axis on men). I'm taking a different approach, say, the long term permanent kind of attractive that's centered on you.

1 . Learn a foreign language.

Nothing says disciplined like someone that speaks a foreign language, and discipline is sexy. Enroll in a foreign language class and supplement with duolingo and other apps. The trick is to learn "parent languages" eg if you learn Spanish you basically know at least half of Italian and Portuguese. If you learn German the Scandinavian languages are yours for the taking. This doesn't just make you insanely attractive it opens doors for you.

2. Motorcycle license

I swear every sexy (especially feminine) woman I know can 'ride a bike' so to speak. It's a nice little trick to have up your sleeve that never gets old. You don't have to actually ride the machine but the know how is incredibly sexy

3. Learn a dance

No not street dance. Zumba. Ballroom waltz, whichever classical dance fits your fancy. Women that dance are insanely attractive. Hip hop and street dances are nice tricks to have up your sleep but classical. Classical dances ma'am. Top tier. That plus the health, physique and mental benefits? 10/10. Enroll in a class.

4. World politics.

No you don't have to keep up with what princess Katherine was wearing but you need to know what's the deal with NATO and Russia. You need to know what at least the big 5 and the UN are up to Plus local news. Current affairs , love. Make sure when the conversation turns to Putin you hold your own. And I mean a personal, educated opinion not just a repetition of headlines.

5. Cultured.

I understand when someone says "cultured" we think of western European etiquette and culture. That helps, it does but I mean YOUR culture. There's something about women (especially of color) that speak their ethnic languages, know their tradition (and respect/adhere to it) and owns it. Culture is identity. Identity is attractive. Know your roots, how deep and how far they run and stick by them.

6. Privacy

Theres a difference between being private and being mysterious. Learn it. Mystery is captivating. It commands interest and the people around you almost instinctively chase you. Privacy demands respect. Mystery is almost a game. Privacy is a character trait. They can co exist but. Privacy sis. Very attractive.

7. Own your story.

Especially for us ladies that came from ground up or from tactless to leveled up or from Cardi B to Amal Clooney , you get the idea. Own it. And by own it I don't mean lead by it. This thing where you tell everyone about your "flaws" so they can't be used against you, no. Its low value. Its insecure. It's no. Just, own it. When it comes up smile and say yeah that's what, 2016. Time runs. Don't laugh don't try bypass sit by it as long as they sit by it and simply own it. Nothing says sexy harder than a woman that carries no shame around things she's supposed to be ashamed about.

8. Education

Especially from a prestigious/ well known institution. A bachelors I whatever field is sexy, whether you work in said field or not. Bonus points if it's the big 5 of white collar jobs (medicine, law, finance,Architecture, or engineering) or arts (Philosophy is surprisingly attractive since everyone has a say in it. Always a conversation starter. Ive noticed the same with psychology but it's less conversation starter and more free consultation)

9. Signatures.

Scent. Word. Make up look. Style. It's attractive when you know who a person is by a thing of theirs. "The pearl girl" or "the matte lipstick girl", whichever. Find a signature.

10. Musical instrument

Im a fan of classical or uncommon. Guitar is good don't get me wrong but piano. Violin. Cello. Harp. Theres something feminine about these instruments. The upper hand is if you can play a , say, "exotic " instrument, like one from your culture that no one else does. The idea is to stand out.

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[ayvenrae]

Dating & Self Development Tips from a Former Pick Me (and People Pleaser)

Make your self care routine a therapy session.

Self awareness is a must. This makes holding yourself accountable a breeze even in discomfort.

Your desperation leaves a scent for predators who are on a hunt for women with low self esteem. Confidence is key, along with discipline.

Spiritual Development would do you good great. It strengthens your intuition which is a vetting device for dating.

Date as selfishly as these men (masculines). Do not settle and ALWAYS make sure you benefit how you want to. Properties. Tuition. New Titties.

You are the company you keep. Be careful who you choose to associate with.

Self control is crucial for achieving success.

Celibacy is your best strategy. Dangle, don’t deliver.

Distance yourself from hypersexual actions and individuals

Don’t strive for perfection but strive to be amongst the best

Give yourself grace when overcoming toxic traits (anger issues, hand problem etc.)

Play detective when vetting individuals, friends included

Remain aware of your surroundings and suspicious activity (or feelings) when out on dates. You’re not exempt from being trafficked or laced.

Do not invest effort and energy into emotionally exhausting relationships and individuals, family included.

Place yourself as a priority so others can put you on a pedestal

Love is useless without logistics

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[ayvenrae]

Obsessed with your blog ❤️❤️ you are very smart!!! Can you recommend any books or blogs on how to be more feminine and to have a rich wife mindset?

Thank you so much! I’m honored that you view me as a reliable resource because I really do take the time out to study and take action prior to sharing any game.

I have a general list of books I recommend that’ll help you along your journey, however here’s a few more I recommend more specifically:

Old Money, New Woman

Urtoospoiled’s Top Approved. It’s very straight to the point and a book you can pass on for generations. Though I don’t feed too much into the “old money aesthetic”, I respect their overall value of education, wealth and etiquette. PG-13, so if you have a high school aged little sister (or you are yourself) it’s encouraged to prepare them early.

The Geisha’s Secret

The Geisha is a diligently designed women sculpted to exude femininity and sensuality. This book breaks down the rituals that make the geisha. I encourage you reading this to do more research on the geisha for more historical dating tactics that’ll work today. Rituals include the emphasis on beauty upkeep, acting with kindness and waiting to give yourself to a man.

Style: The Modern Lady’s Guide to Elegance & Charm

More of a baby book, but that’s why I highly recommended it because it gets to the point. This is a book that teaches you the charm and elegance of a woman. This is essential as far as having a wealthy wife mindset. You’ll be not only encouraged but expected to have an obvious level of class, elegance and immediate charm. It’s essential to be one’s wife that’s likable (even if you’re not mean, but not everyone is naturally captivating, let alone memorable)

Smart Women Protect Their Assets

UrTooSpoiled Top Approved: Most adults are uneducated about wills, trusts and wealth management overall. This book goes deep about the “need to knows” of securing your assets including estate planning, inheritance tax and goes as far as giving suggested resources towards protecting your wealth effectively.

Marriage is a business and never forget that. When you’re vetting potential husbands, you’re vetting potential business partners. The ones with hiring power. The ones with all the keys and passwords. The ones that can/will/already may have executive power to put you in terrible positions, especially financially but well beyond.

This is a must read for all. Women are statistically less educated than men about money so it’s key to study this book to stay ahead of the game. Even your most ideal candidate of a husband can take advantage of you (and your future dependents. Your parents included) financially.

101 Things Your Dad Never Told You About Men

Another brief book, but well written. This book summarizes things you need to know about men in relationships including what to expect, what NOT to do, and more.

You can find them for -.99 here

As far as blogs, I recommend to follow everyone I follow, or at least browse through and see who fits your vibe.

I hope this was helpful! Safe Seducing 💋

[ayvenrae]

SECRETS OF THE ELITE WOMAN

Exercise your right to remain silent. Everything you say can and will in fact be used against you.

Meritocracy >>>> Democracy. The girls that get it get it the girls that don't find out.

Happiness is not an event its our interpretation of the event. Opinion/ perspective shapes Experience.

As a queen thinketh so is she.

Know your worth then charge tax plus insurance

When a queen does not like where she is, she plans her exit

Don't let them in. Don't let them see. Be the absolute queen you've always loved to be. Conceal. Don't feel. Don't let them know.

Feelings?? Canceled.

Selfish girls win.

It is what it is sis. Do what you must and let it go

Not your monkeys not your circus.

If you don't like clowns don't go to the circus.

It's you. Its you. It's all for you. Everything you do is for you.

Whoever said money can't solve your problems must not have had enough money to solve them.

There is no such thing as a soft life choose your struggles wisely.

Looks matter. Sex sells.

We don't do it for the men, men never notice.we do it for us, we are the fing coldest.

I'm never going back, the past is in the paaaastttttt

You automatically lose all the chances you did not take

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[ayvenrae]

my college morning routine ♥*♡∞:｡.｡

6:30am: wake up & drink a glass of water + take my multivitamins

6:35am: do a youtube pilates workout

7:10am: take a quick shower using a sweet-smelling body wash & use a loofah to massage it in to wake my body up for the day

7:25am: moisturize my body & put on a cute outfit i set out the night before

7:30am: eat a quick breakfast - i try to get in some carbs, protein, and fruit to keep myself nourished & energized for the day

7:45am: brush my teeth, do my morning skincare routine (apply spf!!), tidy up my hair, apply perfume and jewelry!

8:15am: grab my schoolbag, make myself a coffee, & head to campus

8:30am: get situated in the library or business building & get started on my studies

+ addt'l info:

❥ this schedule is based on my morning routine during the last school year & summer, which is why i am confident that it is doable for me!

❥ my earliest class is 11am, so depending on the day, i plan to either study until class starts or til around 12pm and take a lunch break

+ ways to save time in the morning:

❥ i fill up a glass of water & place it on my nightstand before bed. i also have all my vitamins in a container with daily segments!

❥ i click on a workout video the night before so it's ready to go as soon as i wake up, i just open up my laptop & hit play

❥ i choose my clothes, accessories, etc. the night before + pack my schoolbag in the evening to save time

❥ i sometimes pre-make my breakfast, such as overnight oats and chia pudding, or i eat something quick like toast. i also pack myself lunch the night before so i can grab it in the morning and go! (if you like cold coffee, you can probably make it ahead too, but i prefer mine hot so i take the extra time to do it in the mornings!)

❥ at night i do a hairstyle that keeps my hair neat & untangled as i sleep so it looks good in the mornings! this saves me sm time on styling (unless i'm in the mood to do a cute hairstyle) because it looks great without any effort!

[ayvenrae]

tips for starting your fitness journey

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find workouts you actually enjoy

you don’t have to do exercises you don’t like! don’t be afraid to try different things. if you don’t like weight training, try pilates. if you don’t like pilates, try other types of body weight exercises. if you don’t like that, try yoga. go for walks if you enjoy doing that. exercising doesn’t have to feel like a chore. there are so many different types of exercise out there, try different things until you find what you like.

don’t go overboard right away

know your limits. if you haven’t been active in the past, it isn’t realistic to expect to be able to work out 7 days a week for an hour each day. i can tell you firsthand, you don’t want to push your body further than it can go. that’s how you injure yourself. start off slow!

losing weight isn’t everything

try to have non-physical goals. if you focus too much on changing how your body looks, it can become unhealthy very quickly. losing weight is a major goal for a lot of us, but it shouldn’t be the only thing you’re doing this for, so try your best not to focus on that part too much.

don’t depend on the scale

if losing weight is a big goal for you, know that the scale doesn’t tell the full story. if you’re working out, chances are, you’re gaining muscle. since muscle weighs more than fat, you may not see a major difference in your weight on the scale, but it’s not because you’re not progressing. if you want to measure your progress, try progress photos and measurements.

create a realistic schedule

going along with not going overboard, create a realistic schedule. know what you will actually be able to do and the amount of time per day you will be able to dedicate to exercise, and schedule it in. consistency over intensity!

have positive inspiration

it’s always easier to do something new when you have inspirations to look up to. however, be mindful of who you look up to. make sure you’re looking to healthy role models that will positively impact your mindset and journey.

[ayvenrae]

Natural elegance. The older she gets the more beautiful she becomes. Look at the way she carries herself. Whole room falls at her feet. 

[ayvenrae]

Glow-up tips that actually work from your favourite beauty girly (me)

Hot girls don't gatekeep, so here are some of my favourite glow-up tips that actually work. <3

Skin

Find a skincare routine that works for you!! It took me years to find mine, but now my skin is literally perfect. <3 (let me know if you guys want a detailed skincare routine!!)

Don't pick your skin, the less you touch your face, the better.

I believe ice rollers are bs…

If you struggle with dark circles, don't try fixing them through skincare. Most likely, the problem comes from your diet or stress.

Dry brushing is a game-changer!!

Use lotion after every shower and apply a body spray before the lotion is fully absorbed into your skin. You'll smell amazing for DAYS.

Don't try homemade skincare if you already struggle with your skin. I learned it the hard way, lol…

WASH YOUR MAKEUP BRUSHES

Hair

The more heat you use, the more damage you'll have.

SILK PILLOWCASES

Never sleep with wet or damp hair.

Stop buying cheap shampoo and conditioner, also make sure to check the ingredients!!

Some ingredients to avoid: Sulfates, Parabens, Polyethene Glycols, Triclosan, Formaldehyde, Synthetic Fragrances and Colors, Dimethicone, Retinyl Palmitate.

I trim my hair every 3 months.

If you have damaged hair, invest in some Olaplex!! my favourites are N4c, N6 and N7. <3

Diet

green juice actually makes you feel better. I make mine at home and LOVE it :)

Balance is key!! I swear by the 80/20 rule.

Drink more water, even if you think you're drinking enough. DRINK MORE

Keto is BS <3

Focus on eating more protein. Usually, low-fat products have more protein, so I just try to buy those, lol.

I eat gluten-free, not by choice… But it did clear my acne, so…

Take supplements, get a blood test done, discuss it with a doctor and start taking whatever they recommend. GAME CHANGER.

EAT MORE VEGETABLES and fruits.

Lifestyle

Focus on being more active, walk more, workout, join a club or sport, dance, whatever works for you!!

I aim for 10K steps, I live in a big city, so I usually walk more than that but still.

Hobbies that don't include screen time. Trust me.

Find your personal style and ALWAYS dress up. <3

TREAT YOURSELF. Buy yourself flowers, and presents, go to your favourite restaurants, vacations!!

Read more. As a classics lover, I can't imagine a life without literature, but even if you don't like classics, any book is better than no book!!

Take more pictures. I've noticed that I have become a lot more present since I've started taking more pictures!! highly recommend :)

I hate to say this, but getting up earlier is lowkey kinda great... been doing it for a few weeks, and unfortunately, I do feel better... they were right...

Get a cat. :)

Mindset

Stop assuming that everyone hates you, they don't, trust me.

Journaling, manifesting, law of attraction, affirmations.

one of my favourite affirmations: "if I weren't capable, the opportunity wouldn't have come my way; I belong here." <3

Stop hanging out with people who drain your energy

stop consuming media that makes you feel bad.

What would the highest version of yourself do?

If you change your mindset, you will change your life.

Romanticise every aspect of your life. <3

As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and glow-up tips in the comments! <3

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

[ayvenrae]

ways to improve your daily life

add some fruit and or veggies to your dinner

do your skin care routine when you wake up and before bed

write in your journal, meditate or do yoga for 30mins

spend time off of social media / put your phone away and do irl activities

drink more water

rest – take a 30min-hour nap to calm your mind and body

have irl interactions with a friend, laughter is medicine

spend time in nature – go for a walk, feel the warmth of the sun

make your space tidy – clean your room, make your bed, wash and put away your clothes. these things are important and you’ll feel better when your comfort place is neat

take a bubble bath – you can romanticize your bath time by lighting candles, bringing a book, laying crystals around the tub, using bath bombs etc .. doing these special things for yourself is important

take time out to dance! putting on your favorite songs and moving your body is therapeutic, it’s also a fun way to exercise. grab a hair brush, be the main character and have fun!

∿ it’s the little things, the small adjustments that can make life way better, healthier and fun. improving your mental health and physical health is so important and doesn’t have to be difficult. i hope these tips can help you and if you have any questions or need advice on anything feel free to write me, i’d love to hear what’s on your mind.

sending love and positive energy , please accept ‹𝟹

[ayvenrae]

Make your bedroom your sanctuary.

1. Invest in high quality bed sheets (I prefer silk or satin). 2. Make your room smell like "you", have a signature scent - something relaxing, purchase high quality candles. 3. Play with your lighting. Let's be honest, ceiling lights are not it unless they are adjustable. Buy yourself a cute lamp that sits by your bedside or desk. 4. Plants! a few plants in your room can improve your breathing and overall health. Having something to nurture every day or every week is great for enhancing your feminine energy. 5. Make your bed as soon as you wake up. This not only helps your room look better, it enhances productivity. 6. A statement piece like a stunning chair or table is perfect. 7. A painting with filigree framing looks amazing. 8. Fill your room with things that inspire you. Curate items that make you feel motivated and loved.