b1rdeyes

[b1rdeyes]

i want to believe that if i went on taskmaster i’d find all these clever solutions to the tasks, but i know in my heart i would be the fail contestant who gets confused every time and can’t follow instructions

[b1rdeyes]

no show will ever have what taskmaster has. to me. the absolute silliness. a competition show where everyone wins and everyone loses and everyone is having the time of their lives. bring in a flashlight from your kitchen as a prize. or bring in your whole oven. it's 5 points either way. you WILL build a fort out of cardboard and tape and you WILL care about it so much. the way every task is so harmless and fun and generally done with like. everyday household objects. it's just weird little challenges that no one in their right mind would ever do or be good at. but everyone wants to win so bad and they get mad when they only get 1 point. throw some ping pong balls at alex horne and maybe you'll feel better.

[b1rdeyes]

this is like lingerie to me

[b1rdeyes]

Some day I want to see a show that does the “no filler episodes” thing from the opposite direction. Just a whole season worth of low-stakes character pieces that seem to move the overall story absolutely nowhere, then episode 26 pulls all the triggers at once and this massive Rube Goldberg machine of a plot the show’s been quietly setting up in the background the whole time hits you like a truck.

[b1rdeyes]

gender is a performance and im getting heckled by those old gay muppets

[b1rdeyes]

[b1rdeyes]

I am once again thinking about digging holes

It's so fucked up that digging a bunch of holes works so well at reversing desertification

I hate that so much discourse into fighting climate change is talking about bioenginerring a special kind of seaweed that removes microplastics or whatever other venture-capital-viable startup idea when we have known for forever about shit like digging crescent shaped holes to catch rainwater and turning barren land hospitable

[b1rdeyes]

normalize having more than one best friend. "best friend" shouldn't just be a title reserved for one person... best friend is a species...

[b1rdeyes]

Hilson :)))) I made them as Mii’s and very much obsessed with them

#oughh

[b1rdeyes]

[b1rdeyes]

I think i met an angel on the train

[b1rdeyes]

[b1rdeyes]

yes friends let us blaze the marijuana! four hundred and twenty haha

[b1rdeyes]

[b1rdeyes]

let's be bad at video games together

[b1rdeyes]

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

[b1rdeyes]

A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.