beardlybeloved

[beardlybeloved]

My poor beard...

I should probably explain- for about the last week or so, I've been on leave to try and help out a few of my European friends with their problems. I only anticipated it taking a day or so, but certain circumstances popped up and apparently someone was using the CERN supercollider to house a load of lizard people. Who knew? (I certainly didn't before. I definitely do now. In great detail...)

Anyway, I'm sorry for my absence, and I'm going to hopefully be back up and running very soon. As soon as I get this lizard goop out of my beard.

#seriously gross #why did it have to be lizard goop #always with the lizard goop #and the beard #the precious beard #I almost had it burnt off #turns out it's not fireproof #got to look into that one #oh and if anyone's got any cookies or anything just deliver them to me directly please #i will be lying down in the middle of the office #possibly napping #possibly just contemplating life #who even knows any more #the near-loss of a beard puts a jack in a philosophical mood #what is life without beard #why does the idea of life without beard exist #i also haven't slept in about three days #that's probably got something to do with this whole thing

[beardlybeloved]

This sounds like a job for... 

PATTILLOMAN!

(Okay, the name still needs work. But I'll give you a hand out front anyway. What are you moving?)

Hey guys I was wondering if anyone was able to help me move some heavy boxes from the offices to the front area so when the trucks come it’ll be easy for them to pick it up.

#lindsaykittentuggey #team periphery #this gif is my favourite Jack gif both ic and ooc #so enjoy

[beardlybeloved]

Awwh, c'mon Geoff! It's not like I show that many any more. And can you name one of them that was actually not helpful?

…Does it count if it’s not technically made in the office? I can still show them, right?

#tattoosandbevs #even the cooking one had its uses #and by its uses I mean it taught Chris how to work the microwave

[beardlybeloved]

All right, I'm back!

Sorry for my absence, guys, apparently RTX logistics are a real headache.

Anyway, how are we all?

#starter that is open #also I am legitimately sorry for my absence my lovelies #I was required at a residential murder mystery #unexpectedly #last minute cramming then being a detective for a few days #it was awesome #but also tiring #I will hopefully be more active from today

[beardlybeloved]

...Does it count if it's not technically made in the office? I can still show them, right?

From this point on, I am banning the making of power points in this office.

#tattoosandbevs #awh come on geoff #do I sense a bit of jealousy about my amazing custom animation skills #and the sound effects #never forget the sound effects

[beardlybeloved]

Just to put it on record, there is literally nothing wrong with my powerpoints! They are informative and a useful point of reference! Guidance!

They have cool animations too, c'mon guys.

#freckles mcangry #yeah i see you there #goeff you too #there is nothing wrong with using powerpoint as a legitimate resource

[beardlybeloved]

Kind of flattered you think I'm badass enough to just have a snake to hand, I've got to be honest.

Had a dream that Jack brought a snake into the office. I’m pretty sure I almost shit my pants waking up. Ugh, I hate snakes so much.

#tattoosandbevs #sorry about the nightmare though man #if it helps if there were really snakes that turned up unexpectedly I would totally kick their asses for you #or just move them i guess it's not their fault they're somewhere they shouldn't be #but either way i got you

[beardlybeloved]

This is exciting!

TEAM GENTS, ASSEMBLE!

#haywoodthegreater #tattoosandbevs #hi guys!

[beardlybeloved]

The Usual Jackasses might be what we rename Team Lads, I'll talk to Geoff about it. Should I be offended about the Jack- bit, I wonder...?

The Thing is prepped and ready for deployment just in case. Have they knocked over anything expensive...?

Well though it’s not a crime of the law, it’s a jackass move to be doing this shit. And it’s the usual people you’d expect to be messing around and causing a mess. Don’t bring The Thing just yet but have it ready just in case.

#team periphery

[beardlybeloved]

Mess is the crime?? Now I get why this ended up being our job to sort...

Which ones is it this time? Do I need to bring The Thing?

(Yes I do, it’s in the back office by my desk that you can use.) The crime is this: the achievement hunter crew is causing a mess in the back office as we try and back everything up. The rooster teeth crew is guilty of this as well.

#lindsaykittentuggey #the thing is a team periphery secret #you'd all better not be causing trouble #we're supposed to be crimefighters

[beardlybeloved]

[beardlybeloved]

Is it getting colder around here, or is it just me...?

#I sense a disturbance in the force #and by that i mean #a little office tension #let's hope it all stays under control

[beardlybeloved]

If you're buying them you probably should! And I've told you this before, you're not a proper Banjo cosplayer unless you become an actual bear.

Hold on, I'm not making you arrows, what am I, made of time? I'll help you make them, but you know what they say. Give a guy a bunch of arrows you've fashioned from the cedar trunk in your yard, he shoots several bad guys. Teach a guy to fashion arrows from the cedar trunk in your yard, he shoots several bad guys and maybe you have a fun afternoon with some beers and music and he can make his own in future and and and you no longer have a cedar in your yard making the neighbours ask questions you really have no legitimate answer for.

I just wanted a moral code I never thought I'd be the one to break it I even went to the trouble of doing little custom animations on the bullet points-- I think you might be right.

I have no idea about the goddamn legislation for arrows, Jack. How the fuck would I know? And no, not a Hawkeye cosplayer.

Then go make me arrows, damn. Whatever it is, I’m not making anything. Why would I make it when I’ve basically got the group mom to do it for me? (And yes, I’m talking about you.)

Maybe that’s your kryptonite. The PowerPoint.

#i hate powerpoint #everyone sensible hates powerpoint #hmmmm what about like cub or something as your tag #i don't even know #the curls??? #freckles mcangry?

[beardlybeloved]

Good. I didn't put together the handouts for nothing.

Come to think of it, what's the legislation about that? Is there a waiting period for arrows? Try not to look like too much of a crazy Hawkeye cosplayer, okay?

Also, you know the whole offer of a tree wasn't actually one that would necessarily... necessitate future action. I'm trying to explain here I have a spare uprooted cedar in my back yard that is pretty much up for grabs. Don't. Don't remind me of the PowerPoint I just have a massive tree in my yard it's not like it's a big deal.

I don’t need your smartass talk, Jack. I remember the PowerPoint very clearly.

No way in hell am I making new ones. Just go to the damn store and get better ones. I’ll probably go later today, might as well get another target as well. It’s not like anyone else is using it. Except maybe Gavin, eventually.

#i am thrilled #also thanks for making my tag beardo #mogarrjones #I'm trying to think of an appropriate nickname #you're always better with these

[beardlybeloved]

Not sure you should be shooting at ass targets of any size, Michael, remember the whole "responsible hero" talk? And the PowerPoint?

Well, that sucks- what did you make them out of? If you want a tree I can deliver you one to make some new, I don't know how you go about that. Weird Team Angry Fat bonding time in checked shirts cutting down trees?

Okay, okay, listen. The only problem with me training with arrows was that sometimes, I miss the target. Small ass target does not go well with a front flip, Jack. So, I missed a few times in the beginning, like every human does, and they hit the wall and snapped. In essence, not my fault.

#if you make a lumber-jack pun you're dead #you too barb #this goes for anyone

[beardlybeloved]

so you're the maid now or something yeah? is that what's happening here?

You’re acting like I haven’t always tidied up after you assholes. I guess you’re not the worst- wow, I have actually made a mental chart of this I update every time I clean.

Difference between me and a maid is that maids get paid for tidying gross stuff. I just do it out of the goodness of my heart.

and because it drives me up the wall coming into a messy office like seriously how hard is it the mic wires are just like any other wires why can you tell the precise difference between two very specific camera chargers that look pretty much identical at three hundred feet but not manage a microphone wire you’re a smart guy I swear to god I’m channelling Gus here

#gavindifuoco

[beardlybeloved]

Brilliant. I guess I'm kind of relieved you weren't in some kind of horrible arrow massacre over here. On the other hand, any explanation starting with "not my fault" always rings alarms. So, wait, you tried this cool fighting thing and instead of hitting targets you ended up accidentally snapping all your arrows...? It miiiight be time to reconsider that particular technique.

Is everything all right?

And if so, why’s there a pile of broken arrows in the office?

#Mogarrjones #shan't and won't #if I don't clear up around here nobody will #and then you'd all injure yourselves #and then I'd have to tidy that up #sometimes the best strike is the preemptive one #especially regarding you all getting tetanus from rusty red bull cans or something