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people get the wrong idea about the eye as a power because they take elias as like. the model eye devotee when he just absolutely isn’t. elias is, to me, a really interesting take on an evil cleric specifically because he’s an objectively bad servant of the eye. he isn’t doing what he’s doing because he’s so very desperate for the eye to win, or even really for the world to end, but because he thinks that he, specifically, deserves to be king of the apocalypse. it’s about the intent. he says himself that he could know everything, and actively chooses not to because he isn’t interested in knowing everything about everyone, he’s only interested in himself and his schemes. he only cares about knowing things when it’s useful to him, not about knowledge for the sake of knowledge. this is directly counter to literally the eye’s entire deal. jonah wasn’t chosen by the eye, he chose the eye. he looked at the fourteen powers and said ‘ok, but what can they do for me?’ and with the institute and resources at his disposal the eye was easy to serve, and gave him knowledge to help his schemes. i honestly believe that with jonah’s violent and manipulative personality, the web or the slaughter would have been much better fits, but neither of those give him what he wants. the eye is a weapon to him, it’s a thing that makes his schemes easier. the eye is about sitting back and watching and he decides to use these powers suited to sitting back and watching to block the cameras while he kills gertrude by human means. he directly intervenes in his own favour when he should watch what happens. he doesn’t need powers that kill, because a gun does the job just fine. his serving the eye is a roundabout way of serving himself, and his personal getting ahead is literally the only thing he cares about. the real model of an ideal servant of the eye is the jon that the statement givers see in their nighmares, who keeps coming back to watch their suffering and never tries to help

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hi, yes, hello, its 5 am and im losing my mind

(spoilers for mag38 and mag177)

so, we, we all know david right? dr. david? avatar of the spiral? evild dr?

but he's not, the Only david, in tma, i just-

so in, in mag 38, the statement giver talks about his husband, david and it JUST so happens that, thats also a spiral statement. yknow homophobic vase yadda yadda

and i just,

im losing it a bit? bcz me and my friend were, discussing this as a joke at first, but like

gHHHHHGHJGHJHGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH&HHHHHGHHGGH i dont have enough brain space atm to convey my feelings/theories but its all just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

maybe the vase had rights after all david is a little fucking bitch

(ur gonna have to tap into the second image to see the full thing btw aaa)

#HNGNHNBN #the magnus archives #tma spoilers #tma

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SO WAS ANYONE GONNA TELL ME THE HOMOPHOBIC POT DAVID AND DOCTOR DAVID BEING THE SAME PERSON THEORY HAD LEGIT PROOF BEHIND IT OR WAS I JUST SUPPOSED TO FIND THAT OUT AT 2:30 AM AFTER JOKING ABOUT IT TO MY FRIEND???

#I AM LOW KEY LOSING IT #I THOUGHT WE WERE MAKING A HAHA FUNEE JOAK #LIKE HAHA THERES ANOTHER DAVID JONNY DID THE NAME THING AGAIN #UFKCUKDD GODS IM GOING WILF #IM GONNA COMMIT A HATE CRIME #/J BUT #tma #the magnus archives #tma spoilers #tma season five spoilers

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Elias Bouchard, head of the magnus institute, has absolutely no ass.

#this is for the discord #it had to be said #he has no ass!! #as my datemate says he wears ass pads #tma #the magnus archives #elias bouchard

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A handy guide to recognizing characters from The Magnus Archives

Ever wonder how to spot who’s who in fanart when there aren’t many physical descriptors given in cannon? Well no worries, here’s a handy-dandy guide to spot your fave archival staff members (and friends!) at a glance, across the multitudes of gorgeous art out there:

Jonathan Sims: If Cecil from Night Vale didn’t sleep for a month and then got run over by a bus. Twice. Thinner than tracing paper. Feral, but fragile. Associated item: Tape recorder. Or twenty.

Martin Blackwood: Sweaters Jumpers and circles! Is he wearing a sweater jumper? Is he drawn entirely using round shapes and soft edges? Do you want to hug him on sight? It’s Martin. The definition of “shaped like a friend”.  Associated item: Mug of tea. (It’s for John. Even when it’s not, it is.)

Tim Stoker: Hot. He has finger guns and he’s not afraid to use them. Associated item: An axe, or the aforementioned guns.

Melanie King: Blindfolded. Usually short, usually angry (mood). May be wearing her own merch.  Associated item: There’s a knife on her somewhere. In hand, as a tattoo, at her hip - sometimes all three.

Georgie Barker: She’s got style. The rest of these motherfuckers wear clothes to function but Georgie’s put to-fucking-gether. I don’t know who decided it, but they’re right. May be wearing her own merch. Associated item: She’s usually got really dope earrings.  

Basira Hussein: Stoic as a sphinx and probably twice as knowledgeable. Often in a police uniform, generally in a hijab. Merely glancing at her image will convey her ruthless competence.  Associated item: A book

Alice ‘Daisy’ Tonner: Lean, mean, hunting machine. Many scars. Often in a police uniform. She will beat you up. Alternately: some sort of terrifying wolf monster Basira is comforting. Associated item: Raw butch energy. 

“Elias Bouchard”: Smug DILF.  Associated item: Length of pipe. Or sex toys (you know who you are)

Peter Lukas: Classic sea captain aesthetic. Healthy beard, cheap whistle around the neck. Seen most often in monochrome. Associated item: Elias’ ass (you know who you are).

Jane Prentiss: O, worm? Associated item: See above.

Nikola Orsinov: Uncanny valley…but make it sexy.  Associated item: Circus regalia

Michael: Lots o’ colours. Flowing blond hair from a L’Oreal commercial plus Freddy Kruger hands.  Associated item: Doors

Helen: Lots o’ colours. Powerful 80′s business woman vibes plus Freddy Kruger hands. Associated item: Also doors.

Gerard Keay: The gothest goth to ever goth. Lives at Goth street in Goth city, and takes the goth train every morning to work at Goth Ltd. And honestly? Good for him. He deserves to be able to pursue his interests. Associated item: A Leitner

Gertrude Robinson: The world’s most intimidating grandmother. Associated item: Your corpse, underfoot. She dealt with you before you even realized what was happening. While you were reading this very post, in fact. Now you’re going in the skin book. 

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Martin to the tape recorder "Hey little buddy, how are you? What's going on?"

Jon, pounding the door down "MARTIN GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT WITH ME!"

#tma jon #tma #the magnus archives #the magnus institute #tma martin #tma spoilers

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Why Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott is Martin Blackwood’s theme song

An in depth analysis

Verse One

Here's the thing: I can't do anything right

Try as I absolutely totally might

The bones are melting, the skeleton is ash

The clavicle detaches and falls with a deafening crash

This reads like a sad, pining poem poor Marty boy is writing at 2 am. Season one level of ‘why does my boss fucking hate me’ pining. Jon snaps at him no matter what he does, even though he’s been doing his damn best. The skeleton part could be a metaphor drawn from all of the creepy statements he’s been reading/investigating/actually seen

Verse two

There’s lukewarm herbal mango sweet hibiscus tea

On the hot garbage pile in which I fucking sleep

The walls are empty, it’s so ugly

Martin’s living in the archives at this point, and there’s not really any separation between work and home, so there’s no safe space for him. The tea that he brings Jon every day sits unappreciated, turning lukewarm, and all Martin can do is watch, because he has no where else to go. He’s sleeping on a crappy old cot, and the garbage pile could be referring to either his terrible living conditions or the trauma and paranoia that Janey PrentAss and the Worms bestowed upon him.

Verse Two, continued

I could burn the whole place down

It wouldn’t catch ‘cause all the posters are on their

Way to my hometown

Season Three vibes from this. Martin’s getting ready to send all those statements up in FLAMES. But instead of just burning all of the statements, (you can’t tell me he didn’t want to) he gives in to the will of the ceaseless watcher and talks to Elias Bitchard. Elias basically incapacitates him with his creepy eye powers, bringing his focus (referred to as the posters) back to his hometown, and to his mother, stopping him from setting massive fires.

Chorus

And I'm not your protagonist

I'm not even my own

I don't know anything

I don't even know what I don't know

Season four Lonely vibes. Martin’s doubting himself. He knows all the focus is on Jon, that no one cares how much shit he went through. He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t feel enough to make his own decisions. It’s just easier to be numb. Deep down, he’s letting himself down. He can’t even save himself, he always needs help.

Chorus part two

And if you look outside you’ll see disintegrating trees

The artificial way the sunlight bounces off the waxy leaves

Everything is turned grey by the Lonely. He can’t trust what he sees, and he’s given up on trust anyways. All emotion seems fake and far away. He just needs to stay alone, and then he can be the hero. His world is crumbling around him, but he’s trying to convince himself that it’s the right path.

Chorus part three

My heart catches on every thorn

You’re already halfway out the door

And I’ve never looked so old

And I have never been so cold

And it is 85 degrees

I don’t know what I need

Jon tried to convince him to run away with him, but he has to keep himself apart, keep himself numbed down. When Jon fights his way to him in the Lonely, Martin realizes he could have lost everything, and that knowledge barely breaks through his unfeeling heart. And then they’re on their way to Scotland, to an escape. Martin’s hair has faded, and he shakes like an elderly man. There’s new lines around his eyes, and his body still feels submerged in the ice cold mists of the Lonely. He knows, logically, that it’s not cold, he’s next to Jon, and Jon is warm, and they’re safe as they could be. Martin doesn’t, however, know what comes next. Where does their relationship go? Will he ever be able to love again? He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know, but he’ll try his hardest to carve out a life full of love in a cruel world.

#OP #OP IVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR MONTHS #TNANK YOU FOR MY RIGHTS #THIS SONG IS MARTIN CORE!! #IT JUST IS!!! #IM SO HYPED TO SEE THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA #martin blackwood #tma #the magnus archives

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Listening to Alex's intro, I picture him sitting in an obviously fake living room set with a fireplace and a cat, and every thirty seconds he turns to a new camera in a "oh, didn't see you there" take, and every time he does he's wearing a different, more gaudy cat sweater and holding an additional teddy bear.

#THIS JS THE EXACT VIBE J GOT #I HATED IT SM #MR ALEX J NEWALL SIR #THE WAY YOU DID YOUR INTRO GAVE ME A VIBE CHECK #JUST #ALEX MAKES ME UNCOMFY ASMR #tma spoilers #tma #the magnus archives

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u know how doki doki literature club was an existential horror game disguised as a cute and fun romance visual novel? tma is the opposite of that

#the magnus archives sure is a podcast!! #its!! its an office comedy!! #god i cant imagine what it might look like from the outside #tma is a comedy #we all say #we are crying #jfnxjnskfns #the magnus archives #tma #tma spoilers

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NOT to be a homestuck on main. But. Martin <> Tim thanks for coming to my tedtalk ❤️

#thank you jack for feeding me #my crops have been watered #i have been blessed #tma #the magnus archives #tma spoilers #tma fluff #tma martin #tma tim

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thinking about how thankful I am to be living in the sweet hurricane's eye of Jon and Martin's relationship and how much worse this will make it hurt when the tragedy concludes.

future post-season 5 fans will never fully understand the collective grief we are hurtling towards, just as I will never understand the full breadth of sweet vindication og fans must have felt when jonmartin became cannon after years. they'll have binged everything in two weeks, maybe even already be spoiled.

yeah, it'll hurt, but it won't hit quite as hard as next spring when jonny kills off my singular coping mechanism that got me through the worst year ever.

But at least we have now. We can still pretend for a little while longer.

#tma season five spoilers #tma season 5 #tma martin #tma jon #tma spoilers #tma

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TMA b like no one will ever kiss on this show because kissing noises are gross, and then give you audio of graphic body horror

#jared hopworths voice is almost as bad as kissing #AND THE WORM NOISES #LIKE.... ALEX?? #YEAH HEY ALEX #TONE IT TF DOWN *PLEASE* #my poor fucking sensitivity to asmr is dying

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You know what I love? Canon bi ace icon Jonathan Sims.

I’m bi ace myself, and the mere fact of his character existing makes me so happy.

I love how much the fandom has embraced him being ace, and I love that so many fans use his character to explore the ace experience in so many different ways.

I love Jon when he’s sex repulsed. When he’s never had to try it out to know he doesn’t like it. When he has tried it and knows it’s definitely not for him. When he loves kisses and snuggles, or when he’s not too keen on intimate touch at all, and shows his affection in so many other ways.

I love Jon when he’s sex neutral. When he gets why people are so into it, but also really doesn’t get why people are so into it. When it’s maybe a fun or intimate thing to do once in a while, but he’ll never bring it up unless his partner does. When his response to the idea of sex is a shrug and a “sure”.

I love Jon when he’s sex interested. When he’s curious or kinky or just vibes with the good feelings sex can produce. When he enjoys sex but isn’t driven by it. When he’s gray- or demi- and finds himself unexpectedly getting the hots for someone.

I love every fan creator who takes him being ace into account in their work. Every time I see the “Canon Asexual Character” tag on AO3 it adds a month to my life. Whether you write Jon as sex repulsed or neutral or interested, you’re valid in my books. Whether you’re allo or ace, if you want to write about his character and how he might relate to sex, I support you. If you want to write straight up smut, that’s cool too; we all need to blow off a little steam sometimes.

Side note: for allo writers, it’s always a great idea to have an ace person do a sensitivity read on your sexy Jon fic. I’m ace and I sometimes have another ace friend read my fic over, if I’m writing Jon a flavor of asexual that falls outside my direct experience.

I’m aware that the single line in canon we get about Jon’s asexuality most closely aligns with a sex repulsed (or at least disinterested) reading. And it’s great that sex repulsed aces can relate to him so well. But the fact is that many fans⁠—ace and allo⁠—love Jon’s character and relate to him for all sorts of reasons. I support all these fans in exploring all kinds of human experiences through Jon’s character, including sex and sexuality, as long as everything is labeled with appropriate tags and warnings so that people who don’t want to read it can avoid it.

Yes, even things I don’t want to read.

Yes, even things I personally find repellent or distressing.

Fanfiction is not canon, and does not pretend to be.  As long as it’s tagged correctly, it’s not my place to tell people what they should and shouldn’t write.

There are people who will say that nobody should write about Jon having sex. And there are people who will say that only ace fans can write about Jon having sex. Well, I have as much Asexual Authority ™ as anyone else in this fandom, so I hereby give everyone blanket permission in perpetuity to write as much (or as little!) fic about Jon having sex as you like.

Jonathan Sims is an amazing character, and better ace representation than my heart could ever have hoped for. I’m thrilled that so many fans find joy in exploring and engaging with his character in all kinds of ways, and I encourage you all to continue doing so!

Image ID: Marge Simpson holding a potato. Caption reads: I just think he’s neat.

#GOD!!! #THIS POST SPARKS JOY #as ur local ace (at least. probabably?) #i FULL HEARTEDLY AGREE #tma

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huge fan of the idea of people drawing mustaches on jon while he's in a statement reading coma. basira, melanie, and daisy know he can't stop reading once he's started so they start doing weird stuff to him like putting his hair in weird braids or taking selfies with their fingers making bunny ears behind his head or doing his makeup or drawing mustaches on him. it isn't until one day he makes a snide comment about the rude gesture melanie used in one of the selfies she took of him that they realize he's fully conscious of them throughout the whole process. they don't stop screwing with him, though.

#i miss them #god i just want them to be happy #tma #the magnus archives #jon sims #daisy tonner #melanie king #basira hussein #tma spoilers

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elias bouchard? stupid fucking god damn moron elias bouchard has surpassed the circus in his clownery trauma loving bastard middle aged blond twink ass bitch i would willingly strangle elias, i am almost certain that he would call me slurs in the dennys parking lot and then make me relive my trauma just because i looked at him funny who the FUCK murders someone with a pipe for THAT GOD DAMN LONG does he have ANGER ISSUES?? does he need THERAPY???? elias is a fucking all seeing horseshit eater i want to brutally murder elias with a glock except i dont shoot him, i just angerdlg bash him on the head with it until he dies and thrn shoot him three tines if someone came up to me and said "say one nice thing about elias bouchard" i would stay quiet not only because i wouldnt be able to think of anything, but because then i would be spared of ever having to hear his smig bitch tit voice rattle in my brain like a fucking elephant running from a mouse the day i never have to think about elias again is the day i will believe in god for fucking real for thw first time in the long 19 years ive been alive on this earth the death of elias can and should be seen as a national fucking holiday and i dont even mean like Christmas or anything its a holiday that means "you are now allowed to get piss drunk so you can shamelessly curse out elias bouchard with all the colorful creativity that he does not fucking deserve" i mean really what's elias gonna do if i make fun of him?? cry?? piss his pants like a baby?? he has NOTHING on me i am small and unassuming but i would GLADLY maul elias like a god damn bear i am 5 foot 2 inches of god damn rage over elias bouchard. for fucks sake a LITERAL DOOR stoped him from talking to martin. a DOOR MANS PROBABLY CANT EVEN CUT AN APPLE WITH HIS NOODLEY OLD MAN ARMS if i touched him im sure elias would wither away, if i punchrd him he would turn to dust and waste a fucking away god i hate elias so MUCH i would rather face every damn spider in the entirety of this earth than have to hear about elias [PLEASURED EXHALATION] EVER FUCKING AGAIN elias is such a bitch ass BABY MAN he should just fuck off away from the institute go get high like the fucking tiger dick loving moron he IS stoner ass bitch single dangly eye earring motherfuxker i want to punch his smug little face with a KNIFE i wish i was a shitty avatar of the vast solely so i could suspend elias bouchard in the air and then "accidentally" drop him off a fucking CLIFF maybe ill fuck around and become an avatar of the Eye just to make him THINK im on his side but when IM powerful enough i will not hesitate to take the magnus institute down brick by painstaking fucking brick and then i will THROW THE REMAINS of it all AT ELIAS i would rather submit myself to the motherfucking FLESH my LEAST FAVORITE ENTITY THAN HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT ELIAS anyone who is an elias fucker can politely go and all stand in a nice neat line right in front of me just so i can go gordon Ramsey on their asses and insult EVETYTHIFN ABOUT THEIR TASTE the next fucking entity should be the fear of my hatred for elias "i unwind by taking the piss out of my coworkers and ignoring the fact that my archivist has been kidnapped for a THIRD TIME" bouchard elias should be the first avatar of it thats how much he shoulf fear my RAGE i just hate him SO MUCH the next big hit entiry that rivals the dark in power: fuck you elias capitalistic ass bastard i bet he would sell my skin to the Stranger just to but some weed i want elias to look at me and think "oh what a kind young lad he is i bet hell be so easy to manipulate!" and then i will have the pleasure of proving him wrong by tearing his entire internal tract system and using his large intestine i will strangle himFUCKING MURDERING BITCHARD ELIAS JONAH MAGMUS JIMMY MAGNUM BITCH BUCHARD BODY HOPPING MURDERING ASSHAT I FUCKING HATE HIM HE PROBABLY HAS THE UGLIEST MUSTACHE EVER ITS PROBABLY ONE OF THOES TINY LIK ONESi want to look jonah im his beady little stolen eyes and gouge them out myself fucking bitch GOD i hate him manipulative ass

#ahem #FUCK ELIAS #I HATE HIM SOOOOOOOOO MUCH #the magnus archives #tma #tma spoilers #elias bouchard #ALL MY HOMIES HATE ELIAS #this is supposed to be longer bht tumblr couldnt hadle it

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elias catfishing the lukas family for institute funding

#KNDJDMDKMAOSKS #this and the sugar daddy with a boat audio on tiktok #thats just elias core #i dont make the rules 💛

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Oh, hahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha, Martin thinks burning is the worst pain imaginable, hahahahahahahaha, sure is a good thing Jon and the Archives haven't been heavily foreshadowed to end in fire. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

#:) :) :) :) :) :))))) #man #the magnus archives sure is a podcast!! #i am in danger #tma #tma spoilers