bookworm-2692

[bookworm-2692]

I’ve been fired exactly once in my life. In my early twenties I was working at a pizza place. The pizzas were artisanal, thin crust and personal. They’re a huge chain now but when I first started the company was in its infancy. It was the wild west of management, and the core investors would frequently stop by to check on things. One of these people was this round little man with rage issues. A knock off Danny Devito with no charisma at all.

His favorite thing to do was to come in on a Friday or Saturday night. We'd be at our stations: taking orders, making pizza, manning the oven, finishing orders off, running the cash register. He'd shove his way onto the line and start rearranging people. "You, get off orders and work the cash register, you come over and make the pizzas!" With a line of customers snaking out the door he'd throw off all our grooves and rattle us.

Then, inevitably, a mistake would happen.

When it did he'd call the person over and say, "Hey c'mere. You're fired." Just like that. No inflection, just a flat "You're fired." It was absolutely a power kink, and because of his involvement the average turn over was three months. You were a veteran at five months.

One night there was only three of us manning the front. I took an order than went to the cash register to ring them out before I made the pizza. This horrible man watched that then called me into the back. I didn't know if I was about to be fired. But I wasn't. In fact, he had one other move besides firing people. He yelled.

In the back he absolutely lost his mind screaming at me for being on the cash register. I'm talking veins popping, spit flying, red with rage, this man just started bellowing nonsensically about where I should be and how I was just such a failure. It was truly like his brain had shut off, nothing he was saying even made sense. I stood there in the face of this tirade for a minute and then set a record for being the first person to ever cut him short by bursting into tears.

He instantly stopped yelling and it was like Jekyll and Hyde. He was remorseful and consoling, deeply embarrassed by my display of emotion. All my male coworkers just took the abuse but faced with my weeping he about faced and instantly backed off. I went outside to cry and when I came back in he pretended it had never happened.

That was the state of things. The investors knew they desperately needed to keep this man out of the stores, but they couldn't just give him the boot. They needed to move him aside and fill his position with someone. The store manager was this lovely woman who had hired me on the spot at my interview. The entire staff adored her. She was the best fit to get this roided out investor out of the stores for good.

Her replacement was this man called Anthony. He was instantly loathed by the entire staff. Condescending, critical, and lazy he started off his reign by letting go a core lead who "back talked." He spent a whole morning berating the opening crew because the closing crew (who had sold 100 more pizzas than we were even supposed to have on hand) had forgotten to windex the doors. He left the entire crew to close without him while he flirted with a girl who wasn't his pregnant girlfriend. He hired his roommate to replace the lead he fired and even that guy hated his guts.

Our antipathy toward him made him paranoid and resentful and one by one he started finding excuses to fire the whole staff, certain that if he could clean house he'd be able to do the job. My time came, and he sat me down with his boss, my former manager. She cried as he announced I wasn't personable enough and used too many pepperonis.

I looked at her, the woman who had trained me on how many pepperoni to use, but she said nothing. What could she say? He was the boss now and had determined I was going to be let go regardless. Too many in this case was seven. Seven pepperonis on a personal pizza. The correct number was five according to him, which is one pepperoni per slice, and one in the middle.

I sat there for a moment, taking it in. I smiled at my old manager, obviously miserable. I looked back at him and said, "You're a terrible manager, you're doing the worst imaginable job." I outlined some of the things he'd done so she could hear them, then I stood up and left. I made it to the back room before I started crying.

I found out later through a bus boy that he replaced the whole staff with college kids who had such limited availability that the store couldn't run, then quit three months later leaving the whole place in shambles. Most of the old staff returned, but I'd moved onto the sex shop already and was enjoying a job with significantly less risk of being fired on a whim.

However I do have to disclose on job applications if I've ever been fired. I always says yes and list the reason as, "Excessive use of pepperoni." It has never failed to get a laugh from my interviewer.

[bookworm-2692]

slowly and painfully figuring out how to draw human

but not really

#hermitcraft

[bookworm-2692]

"Joel is obsessed with Etho" "Etho is obsessed with Joel" Yes, but- I wanna talk about Iskall. This man bought SIXTY-FOUR. A FULL. STACK. Of Joel stamps. And sent him not one, not two, not three, but four packages, with messages that all end with "x", aka "kisses", to Joel the same episode he got his mailbox. He also sent a ghast tear named "My tear of happiness" with a piece of paper that said "For you x"

Pearls reaction to it too:

Transcript:

Pearl: "(Sixteen) -diamonds? I think that's correct."

Iskall: (Overlapped) "That is correct."

Iskall: "Yup"

Pearl: "I believe so, unless I'm completely wrong."

Iskall: "Here you go!"

Pearl: "Oh my gosh, look at that! Ohh, beautiful sixteen diamonds!"

Iskall: "Yeah!"

Pearl: "Did you just-? Hang on, did you just buy six- Oh my gosh, Iskall!"

Iskall: "Okay, well I'm off!"

Pearl: "Not gonna say anything, you enjoy your newfound obsession!"

Iskall: "I will!"

#hermitcraft

[bookworm-2692]

NOO GRIAN GET UP

CLEO ABOUT TO GET YOU

(i saw cleo’s post and then next was grian's lmao)

he has been captured!!!! @dailyzombiecleodoodles

#hermitcraft

[bookworm-2692]

wanted an excuse to draw my cyberdubs design. he’s an artist.

#hermitcraft

[bookworm-2692]

Still screwing around with toonsquid have another zed for now :3

#hermitcraft

[bookworm-2692]

[bookworm-2692]

(learning about full time employment for the first time) hmm. uh-huh. i see. and i have to do this forever? awful.

[bookworm-2692]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

[bookworm-2692]

I am once again thinking about digging holes

It's so fucked up that digging a bunch of holes works so well at reversing desertification

I hate that so much discourse into fighting climate change is talking about bioenginerring a special kind of seaweed that removes microplastics or whatever other venture-capital-viable startup idea when we have known for forever about shit like digging crescent shaped holes to catch rainwater and turning barren land hospitable

[bookworm-2692]

i'm sorry but this is the only submission to this trend that i'll consider giving any thought to

[bookworm-2692]

the woolves!

#hermitcraft

[bookworm-2692]

I once saw someone claiming that post cactus ring Scar had never dealt damage to Grian and I desperately hope that’s true because like… the idea of him going from that to dropping 5 tnt on Grian while he’s sleeping is just. That’s a step isn’t it. No easing into it, man just said the divorce went through and I will murder my ex violently, enthusiastically, and fully expecting the universe to reward me for it

#limited life smp

[bookworm-2692]

[bookworm-2692]

When people get a little too gung-ho about-

wait. cancel post. gung-ho cannot be English. where did that phrase come from? China?

ok, yes. gōnghé, which is…an abbreviation for “industrial cooperative”? Like it was just a term for a worker-run organization? A specific U.S. marine stationed in China interpreted it as a motivational slogan about teamwork, and as a commander he got his whole battalion using it, and other U.S. marines found those guys so exhausting that it migrated into English slang with the meaning “overly enthusiastic”.

That’s…wild. What was I talking about?

[bookworm-2692]

So I’m on a trip with my robotics team and there’s only two “girls” (me, an enby, and a cis girl), so we get our own beds in our own room, but the guys are rooming four to a room, but there’s only two beds in each room. Which means that two guys are sleeping on the floor every night.

I’m not joking. They were literally arguing over who’s sleeping on the floor tonight (apparently they plan on rotating).

And I asked them “why don’t you just share a bed?” And they all gave me the same answer:

“No, that’s weird! That’d be gay!”

And I just looked at them and I decided to break the bad news to them

“If lying next to another guy makes you wanna suck dick, you already wanted to suck dick.”

I’ve never seen so many Straight Guys™️ enraged by a single sentence before

[bookworm-2692]

Apparently Martyn has a wife and kids and is not gay. My bad.

#mcyt #lmao