breathing-and-writing

[breathing-and-writing]

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within fifteen minutes i have found two different grown adult men who have dating app profiles that say their worst fear is:

werewolves.

one was funny. two is like... hang on, do we actually have a werewolf problem in this town?

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I have received a lovely letter from my good friend Jonathan Harker!! I hope this years business trip is a lot smoother than last years :]

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EVERYONE WISH OUR GOOD FRIEND JONATHAN HARKER SAFE TRAVELS TODAY

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the object okay not the abstract concept pftt

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I like to imagine that in any atla modern au, aang still, for some reason, finds a reason to beat ozai’s ass

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The beef between night owls and early birds is so silly. We complete each other. Evolutionary-speaking, wouldn’t it be useful to have people naturally alert at dawn to watch for saber tooth tigers and people alert at midnight watching for like, wolves?? Keeping us safe with internal clocks set to random.

All times of the day are beautiful.

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I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

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One of my absolute favorite tropes is

“We have taken the one you love most!”

“Oh, have you? Good fukken luck lmao”

*distant screams of kidnappers as loved one escapes*

or the flipside:

“We’ve kidnapped you!”

“You are in so much trouble. You are in so much fucking trouble. You are in the most trouble ever, oh my god.”

*DOOR EXPLODES INWARDS AS LOVED ONE ARRIVES*

and the alternate:

*vehicle pulls up, door opens, person is shoved out, door slams, vehicle screeches away*

“Did you get kidnapped??”

“For a minute yeah”

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So I just saw a post by a random personal blog that said “don’t follow me if we never even had a conversation before” and?????? Not to be rude but literally what the fuck??????????

I’ve had people (non-pornbots) try to strike conversation out of nowhere in my DMs recently, and now I’m wondering if they were doing that because they wanted to follow me and thought they needed to interact first. I feel compelled to say, just in case, that it’s totally okay to follow this blog (or my side blog, for that matter) even if we’ve never talked before.

Also, I’m legit confused. Is this how follow culture works right now? It was worded like it’s common sense but is that really a thing?

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The culture is so bad all the songs are made from samples of old songs all the movies are remakes of movies that didn’t need to be remade everyone gets surgery to look the same

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i bet being a fish whips ass. smooth and wet as fuck. well except for the bears

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"theres shipping on tumblr" fork in kitchen i just dont see how people are surprised with this like genuinely

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There was a new LGBT+ acronym, and it was twig etc. (it had to be in lowercase for some reason). It stood for trans, Welsh, intersex, and gay. Everyone else was etc. It was very controversial.

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I think I’m going to think about this youtube comment forever

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when in fics they say two characters gave each other a look this is always what i envision in my head

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Kitchen Nightmares is really just like

Owners: i don't know why my restaurant is failing. Chef Ramsey please help

Ramsey: hello i am Gordon Ramsay. How is the food

Owners: we have the best food

*food comes out*

Gordon: this is an alive rat

Owners: our customers love te alive rat. We have the best food. Every day they order the alive rat.

*dinner service*

Customer: oh my god this is an alive rat

Waitress: is everything okay?

Customer: no it's an alive rat

*food is sent back*

Owner: this has never happened before. Fuck you Gordon Ramsay you should just leave. People love the alive rat

*Gordon goes in the freezer*

Gordon: there are 25 molds unknown to science. The rats have set up a lab to study them. Blimey. Scientist rats. They've unionized.

*later*

Gordon: your food is bad

Owner: no!!!!!!!!

Gordon: yes

Owner: oh my god our food is bad

*remodel, menu change*

Owner: oh my god Gordon Ramsay you saved my life thank you so much

Gordon: promise never to serve alive rats again, yeah?

Owner: yes of course

*end of episode*

Gordon: ratatouille ammirite? *He walks away chuckling*

End card: the restaurant was shut down three months later because they went back to serving alive rats.