catharticgrievance-blog

[catharticgrievance-blog]

Karkat nearly fell from the couch when his ass started speaking out of nowhere, startling him, Vriska, Feferi, and Smith. Well shit, apparently he forgot to turn his sound back on after work today. Digging through his pockets, the voice that was obviously Jade became clearer, as did her words. 

Struck by an overwhelming panic over his moirail’s safety, he sat there holding the phone out, momentarily forgetting to answer it... or that the other trolls were there.

Once Jade’s last comment came through, the mutant and cerulean locked eyes, stuck in a seconds-worth stalemate, leaving the fuchsia between very confused and, frankly, concerned as hell.

........

Breaking it first, Vriska lunged toward him, trying to snatch the phone away. All that got her was a face full of upholstery, though, Karkat dodging out of the way swiftly and smacking her with a couch pillow for good measure. As he dashed towards his escape, he smartly-- finally --answered the call.

FUCK OFF, SERKET, IT’S MY MOIRAIL AND GIRLFRIEND; I.E. MY BUSINESS, NOT FUCKING YOURS!

A muffled yell could be heard in the background, followed by something soft being thrown violently at the wall beside Karkat and then scrambling, chasing footsteps. The Vantas cursed, rushing for the front door and nearly yanking it open, slamming it behind him a bit too hard. A loud thump came form the other side, which normally he’d laugh his ass off at-- if it weren’t for the fact he was still running for his life.

Forgoing the stairs-- as they lived on the second floor of the complex --he vaulted over the railing with little thought or care, the rush of wind then smack and tumbling of a clean landing roll easily calling him out on it. 

Holy shit, did I actually just do that? Goddamn...-- YEAH, HI JADE! I’LL BE THERE IN A FEW MINUTES. JESUS FUCK, WHAT IS GOING ON NOW?

  Grabs her phone to call Karkat, groaning loudly when she gets his goddamned answering machine.

  god damn it…oh my god

  karkat, would you pick up the fucking phone!  i know youre screening, and its really not helpful right now!!  somethings up with dave, i can hear fighting, and i just sensed a SUPER strong burst of darkness!!  ive been sensing bursts of some kind of holy radiance, but this is the first ive sensed of darkness and ive got a BAD feeling our suspicions were just confirmed!!

  im heading out to intervene, but you NEED to come over like this is absolutely fucking serious

  dont get vriska involved!

#technologicalgambler #CG ic; #AG ic;

[catharticgrievance-blog]

technologicalgambler:

    “What do you think I was just about to do, Vriska?  Think I’d just let him run into a medieval world and let him get burned at the stake because they don’t understand that aliens aren’t necessarily demons or witches?  Disney or no, it’s still a primitive civilization, and a horrific way to go.  I’m not that mad at him for the little couch incident.  Not yet, that is.  I’m sure when the headache fully settles in I’ll be pissed enough to consider it, so let’s hurry it up so he gets that illusion before I start considering stupid shit.”  The whole while that small smile played at her lips as she walked towards her workbench, the complete opposite of where she - by all means - should be going. 

    “Actions speak louder than words, and your actions aren’t exactly stringing together a compelling supporting piece to your words, Harls,” Dave chimed in as he moved to rest his arms on Karkat’s shoulder.  “Unless you’ve suddenly been stricken with the blind, as far as my knowledge is concerned, I’m not one-hundred percent sure that Karkat’s over there.  Can’t help ya with where he is, though, nope.  I’ve been stricken with it, too, and I can’t see the mess that is your alien beau.  Sorry, you’ll have to grope your way to find him.”

    Jade had to pause, having been distracted by rummaging through her desk, bench, and all of the drawers associated with them.  She shot a glance over at her roommate and rolled her eyes, trying not to snort loudly.  “Sure, because that was your method in finding him.  I take that it’s been fully tested?”

    “Consumer approved, and ready for mainstream success.  Just awaiting your confirmation.”

    Jade shook her head in an attempt to distract herself from laughing, her fingers brushing across her quest’s objective.  Oh, that’s where it went.  God, she needed to clean up in the shop.  Taking the trinket in hand, she walked back over to the others and held what appeared to be a watch for Karkat.

    “I know, it looks weird, and you have a watch already, but hear me out.  I was thinking about the fact you have to go through all this trouble to put on makeup and clothing to hide yourself, or even have me conjure up an illusion since you can’t do it yourself yet.”  She passed the watch between her hands, fiddling with it as she spoke.  “One of your movies reminded me of the fact that illusionary devices are a thing that exist, so I thought I’d test it out!”  The watch was held up again, but this time for Karkat to take it.  “It’s calibrated to your normal disguise, and I even worked in some space-y-slash-void-y magic in to ‘remove’ your horns and ears.  Spilled blood turns the correct shade of red, and your teeth are as flat as Dave’s singing voice.”

    “Oh, fuck off.  Like you’re any better.”

    “Opinion’s not gonna change unless you provide evidence to the contrary.  Anyways!  Try it!  Try it, try it, try it!”

“Awwww, I was hoping to see a trollhunt.” Vriska bemoaned jokingly, her brightly painted lips still played into a smirk watching Jade cross the room, an eyebrow raising in curiosity. “Oh, please still consider. Don’t leave me alone in the plotting now, it’s rude, Harley.”

Karkat bit back a surprised displeased chirp at being suddenly leaned on by his moirail. He stuck to that trend of silence by simply pulling his crossed arms closer and hunching his shoulders in a big ol’ huff, letting Dave have his fun for now.

Until they started discussing how to “find” him.

“What?! No no NO, it has NOT been tested, nor is it approved! It’s not even on the drawing board in some shitty meeting room! Not even in a--...”

His defensive blabber trailed off when Jade held the watch up, leveling it with a suspicious-- but curious --look, listening closely even as his eyes stayed glued to the device as she moved it. The mutant couldn’t help the dusting of red on his face at the fact she made something this complex for him, and it was inspired by one of his movies on top of that. He really was weak to simple sweet gestures, and Jade, wasn’t he?

A short snort left him at Dave’s expense, the amused smirk softening into an equally enthused smile from Jade’s enthusiasm. Taking the device from her, he took off his regular watch-- a simple and fairly stylish sports one --and swapped them out, looking over it and how the rainbow of bracelets offset it jarringly. Whoops. He found the button quickly enough, an anxious frown pulling at his lips before he pressed it, bracing himself. 

Okay, so maybe clenching his teeth hadn’t been the smartest idea? Once the magic trailed over them, they clicked together painfully to fill the empty air made without the points, making him flinch slightly. The rest of the process went smoothly enough as gray skin went to his chosen tan shade, the only issue being phantom feelings left as his horns and ear tips vanished. Shaking the feeling off, he looked the work over, thoroughly impressed and still pink in the face.

“Whoa... Thanks, Jade, seriously. This is fucking amazing, how did you get it to--”

“Ooooooookay, so now you’re all squishy because of awesome Harley engineering that we can properly “ooh” and “awe” over more later. Right now, we got a heiress to steal back like the tooooooootally law-abiding and well-mannered gamblignant and threshy we are.” Vriska interrupted, jabbing a metal thumb back towards the door.

“Someone’s in a rush for once. And here I was led to believe you didn’t give a fuck about anything past your own cartilaginous nub.” Karkat shot back, equal parts accusative, amused, and genuinely surprised. “Didn’t know you two got along that well. Hell, I don’t even remember hearing about you guys hanging out, and I’m pretty sure that woulda earned some loud bitching from Eridan.”

“He didn’t bitch ‘bout it because he wasn’t involved, fucking duh. And neither are you, so butt out of my business.” The cerulean rolled her eyes with a slight sneer, reaching out to grab onto the mutant’s arm, tugging him through the now opened door. “Now let’s go already, I want out of this stupid illu--”

The moment they stepped past the threshold from Destiny Islands to Atlantic, both troll’s phones buzzed off loudly, a string of uniquely Trollian pings going off in rapid succession. 

More of a knee-jerk reaction than anything, Vriska whipped the offending noisemaker out of her pocket, angrily unlocking it in a hurry to shut the app up. ...Only to pause upon finding the alert coming from her old handle...? Opening it, an absolute sea of fuchsia text filled the chatlog, time stamps spread over the four years since Alternia fell, and the most recent having only been a few weeks ago. More embarrassing, her own cerulean messages were mixed in there, too, some only having hours in between them and the fuchsia.

It took a moment for her to process what the hell she was seeing, but quickly enough she realized and remembered. 

Oh, yeah. This is what happened when we came across Ampora and Megido, and later Rezi...

“...!!!!”

Without warning, she darted off towards the town, seeming to have forgotten she was still holding onto a very confused and furious Karkat.

“Vri-- Vanessa! The hell has gotten into you?!”

“World-centric phone signal, dumbshit!”

“What’s that got to do with anyth--”

“Fef’s nearby!!!!!!!”

Ignoring the frantic calls and questions from Jade and Dave following after them-- much like she was ignoring how she used that nickname --the blonde continued hauling ass through the streets, able to multitask dragging the brunette and texting with an aggravating ease. Before she could pull up a new window, however, someone did it for her.

-- coalescentConviction [CC] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG] --

CC: Vriska?

“????”

AG: ???????? CC: O) ( T) (ANK COD IT *IS* YOU! AG: ?!?!?!?! CC: 38? CC: O) (! T) (e new ) (andle! Sorry about t) (at!!! CC: ) (i! AG: Hi yourself, princess. Nice to see the end of the world didn’t 8um you out any. AG: Now mind telling me where the hell you are so I can stop running around town like a decapitated cluck8east? CC: W) (ere I am??? CC: Wait. CC: You’re in Atlantica?! 380 AG: No, scienstiff, I’m on the green moon. ::::/ AG: YES, I’M IN ATLANTICA! NOW WHERE ARE YOU?!?! CC: Town square, t) (e fountain! AG: See ya in 8! :::;) CC: 38D

Pocketing the phone, Vriska abruptly halted and let go of her hostage, causing him to be flung past. Scrambling to catch himself (and failing), Karkat growled out a curse in Alternian, quickly switching back to English as he stood to continue his tirade to her face. Her face, which seemed far too preoccupied to even look phased by the scene-making insults and questioning. Scanning the area, cobalt eyes landed on the fountain in the distance, catching sight of a flash of long fuchsia fabric-- Wait, was that a cape?

Casually taking hold of the still shouting mutant’s hand again-- causing him to make an affronted cricket noise in protest but otherwise not trying to actually escape it --she tore off again, though at a more reasonable pace.

As they got close, however, they both skidded to a halt seeing the troll standing in the spray of the fountain. An adult troll. An adult fuchsia. Even if this adult was far from the height of the Empress, it still brought up the same terrified effect. Frozen from their natural fear, they jumped when the seatroll turned to them looking rather confused.

“...Vriska...?” The troll questioned, pointing at the blonde’s metal arm and both’s out of place clothing. “Vriska, why do you look human?”

Dumbstruck, the two illusionary humans looked at each other, then back to the seadweller. 

“FEFERI?!” They both shouted in unison, startling her.

“YES?!?” The heiress yelled back in confusion, stepping out of the water. Pausing, she turned towards the boy and gasped, hands flying up to cover her mouth. “Karkat???”

“Wha-- Am I really THAT obvious?” He asked, slightly offended, only to get incredibly embarrassed when he noticed that his dead-giveaway volume was back. Huffing, he nodded, trying to quiet himself down. “Yeah, yeah, it’s me. But...”

“What’s with the upgrades, Princess?” Vriska continued bluntly, making hand gestures to outline the other’s new curves, finishing with shameless lifting her own rumble-spheres for emphasis.

There was an audible facepalm from Karkat’s direction while Feferi flushed shyly and glubbed in embarrassment. She quickly calmed however, getting a confused look once more until it clicked, shifting to panicked disbelief.

“What?! Did you guys SEARIOUSLY forget? HOW!!” All the outburst got her was blank looks and tilted ears. Groaning in frustration, she stomped around fussily in place, her ribbon-tied sea of hair whipping around haphazardly. “I thought you’d remember it the best, with how close to Kanaya you both were and all!!! Oh my cooooood-- Guys! How old are we?”

“Uhhhh... 10 sweeps?”

“Which meeeans?”

“We’re practically adu--”

“--FUCK.”

“YUP!”

“FUUUUUUCK.”

“???? ...Wait-- shit!!!!”

“YUP!!!”

“God fucking DAMMIT, I FORGOT!” The mutant tugged at his hair in self-frustration, turning in place only to nearly jump out of his illusionary tan skin. Okay, so Jade and Dave apparently caught up at some point, both giving the trolls looks like they just sprouted second heads. Before he could do anything to explain, a string of Alternian followed by cursing coming from Vriska this time.

“We are SO fucked!  We are beyond fucked! Not nearly as fucked as the idiots we haven’t found yet, but STILL. Fuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!”

“This is going to sound hypocrital as shit, but calm the fuck down, Serket, that won’t help. Feferi, how much time do you think we have before it happens?”

“Oh! Well, mine was a few perigees ago sooo... soon.” 

“SHIT.” 

“It’s okay!!! I can kelp you guys get ready, since I’ve already been through it.”

“It’d be real ‘preciated, Princess...”

Karkat cursed under his breath, turning back to the humans, realizing that they had no clue what was going on-- this all was literally alien to them. “Uh... Secondary pupation.” The unamused look Jade gave for the lackluster answer told him to specify more, genius. 

“It’s how we become official adults--” He shooshed Dave before the Strider could make any snarky comment. “--and the fuchsias in a hatching go through it first, part of their whole leadership and living-long-as-fuck thing.”

“Ughhhh, you’re shit at this!” Pushing the mutant out of the way-- unnecessarily --Vriska cut in, ignoring his growls of protest. “Now for the actually relevant explanation--” 

“It basically works like human puberty, but shittier and within, like, a perigee’s time? Month, whatever. We already get the steady growth crap of your puberty at the same time you do, but we still aren’t adults. Anyway-- For like a month, we go through a huge growth spurt all around, which obviously hurts like shit, and we’re completely vulnerable and useless the whole time. Normally we have shit like sopor slime and Alternian medicine and food for specifically this bullshit. BUT we’ve got none of that now, so it’s going to suck MORE. ...Stop with that look, Strider, we do NOT form cocoons or any shit like that. ...just stay in our recuperacoons for some of it.”

“The rest of time we lay in our piles, because it’s the place we feel safest! Before it happens, it’s normal to start building it up with stuff from our quadrentmates and close friends, and comfortable mates spend the pupation together and mutually care for one and other. The piling is kinda embarrassing... but it helps a lot, and helps them bond more!”

“Guys, can we not explain all of this here, we’re getting stared at.”

“Where else would we go???”

“Destiny Islands, s’where we all live-- By the way, those humans are Jade Harley and some weirdo named Dave, friends of ours.”

“Hey--!”

“Aaaaaaaanyway, let’s get back. We’ve got way more to explain than just shitty pupation. You’ve got lots to catch up on, Peixes~”

“Oh cod...”

Maybe it IS connected? [RP with catharticGrievance]

#technologicalgambler #CG ic; #AG ic; #((WHEEZES I FINALLY GOT IT DONE)) #long post #coalesentconviction #((FEFERI JOINS THE PARTY)) #((Plot shit actually happening/going to happen? In MY roleplays? It's more likely than you think.))

[catharticgrievance-blog]

technologicalgambler:

    Dave didn’t realize he was moments from the end.  His last action was a fitting one: a shit eating grin as a response to Karkat’s deadpan.  As he was about to gloat, about to boast over his wit, he was forcibly removed from the couch in a swift YANK, yelping loudly at the startling display of Karkat’s unpredictable strength.  A low grumble-growl hybrid escaped his throat as he readjusted the way he was now situated on the floor and glared up at his moirail with those red eyes of his, listening to their little conversation and speculating.

    Jade, on the other hand, took advantage of the new seating arrangements and leaned against her boyfriend, head resting on his shoulder as she tried not to roll her eyes at Vriska.  She was tempted to speak up, say something in her defense to go against Dave’s theory on cosmic irony, but closed her mouth when the two started their back and forth.  Alright, she’d listen.

    The two humans had no real input on the subject, as they didn’t know these missing trolls they spoke of.  Pupa Pan…uh, sure, Neverland, but which one?  Clown was probably Gamzee, but there were so many clown and carnival themed areas, that it was ridiculous to think they’d find him the first try.  Dave wracked his brain trying to come up with answers to some of their ponderings, while Jade sat there and contemplated throwing counters to their speculations.  She refrained from doing so, however, as it was important to Karkat.

    Both had zoned out during the trolls’ exchange, only to jump at Vriska’s exclamation.  Dave snorted at her choice in words (ah yes, curse the fae; what a smart decision, as that would totally leave you unscathed at the hands of those mythical beings of the Seelie courts), but said nothing on it, other than a lazily cocked eyebrow in her direction as he craned his neck to look at her.  He expected an answer, but got none from Serket…

    No, Karkat’s yelling gave them the answer they so desired.

    Jade tried to say something again, but was met with another interruption: the first had been a picked up conversation; this one was Karkat standing up suddenly, catching her off guard and landing face first on the couch with a yelp.  Dave’s laughing did nothing to help her pride.

     “Thanks for the warning, Karkat!” Jade called after him, grumbling under her breath and sitting up properly.  She was going to say something to him when he walked back into the room, but as quick as he came, he left!  Christ, he was single minded.

    “Y’know you could’ve just asked me to change the door over to Atlantica!” she called again.  “Would’ve been a lot faster!”

    With no immediate response, and his attention solely on Vriska, Jade sighed and crossed her arms, nodding in agreement with her best friend…for the time being.  The Cerulean’s last comment earned her a pillow shoved into her face, all acted upon by the gunsmith.

    “How long ya think he’s gonna struggle out there before he comes pacin’ back for help, only to leave the room, pace back, leave again, and rinse an’ repeat until this metaphorical laundry day is done?”

    “Not long at all, oh my god.”  Jade stood up from the couch and headed to the workshop, stepping over Dave in the process.  

    “You could’ve just asked,” she reminded as she walked up to the workshop’s door and changed it to the coordinates he was searching for - or, found and couldn’t act upon.  With a wave of her hand, she gestured at the door with a hint of dramatics.  “You going to do the honors?”

Vriska held her knocked think pan after it was smacked by the standing troll, her confirmation of Karkat’s very loud revelation coming out through gritted then snapped fangs, all ignored at this point. When she looked over to Jade fallen at her side, she went slightly blue, seeing her own hand on the human’s shoulder, comfortingly, put there entirely without thought. Thankfully it dropped naturally when the other sat up, saving her from swiping it away in embarrassment. 

This left the troll free to mock their lost friend’s voice and mannerisms, hands pulled to her chest and shoulders jumping up, fake grin plastered on her face before it dropped back to a scowl.

...For a little while at least, the pillow attack bringing out a very real grin and cackle from the cerulean.

Meanwhile in the workshop, Karkat continued to pace back and forth in front of the door, trying to plan out how to find the fuchsia. He messed with the respective bracelet on his wrist, claws tapping at it, anxious to move it to his other arm already. The bands worked as a good reminder and progress tracker, as well as a way to non-verbally take out his worries. Gray, maroon, yellow, teal, cerulean, violet-- six down, six more to go. Hopefully five after this, if this bullshit idea actually works and if she’s actually alive-- No. Nope, she has to be alive, she’s the heiress for fuck’s sake of course she’s alive, who the hell is he kidding worrying about that?

He snapped to attention at the sound of his girlfriend's voice, looking over at her quickly, then to the door, then back, still not entirely out of his own head.

“Uh. Yeah, yeah I’ll do it.” He so eloquently answered, walking to the door, shaking his head to snap himself out of it-- only to get smacked upside it just as his hand touched the knob. He turned and growled when he saw it was Vriska, snarling at her with his razor fangs, her grin full of equally-- wait. Flat teeth? What. Why. “The hell did you do that for, Serket?! ...And what’s with the illusion?”

Vriska leaned an arm on his shoulder, lording over the few inches she had on him, free (non-gray) hand papping at his face sarcastically, snorting when it was predictably smacked away. “See? It’s just like I said-- spongerot. Spoiled all the way through to your lobe stem, by the looks of it. Sorry to say, but you’ve gone entirely fucking stupid~” She laughed at the affronted and perplexed look on his face, pulling away to shoo him from the door. She stood between the two with her hand on her hip, leaning down to stare at him, tangled wavy blonde hair falling in her face. 

“I think you’re the one with a mental deterioration here, your ignorance shaft just keeps coughing up hoofbeastshit and not any actual words of value nor meaning.” The mutant bit back with arms crossed defiantly, not even noticing that they both fell back into troll terminology.

“You were about to go to Atlantica-- a human and (weird as hell) merfolk infested world --looking as gray and nubby as the day you pupated. Ergo--” She booped his freckled nose, which scrunched up at the contact. “--you’re stupid.”

“I-- You fucking-- God fucking dammit, Vriska--”

“Heyyyyyyyy, Jade~ You better make your boyfriend niiiiiiiice and squishy-human-looking before he injuries himself tryin’ to argue with me. If I did it, I might just mess it up, just sayin’~” She smirked down at Karkat, who glared daggers back, and then she just looked over to the other girl, completely dismissing him. 

“You guys are coming with, right? You’ve got to meet Peixes. For a fishy princess she’s fucking badass, especially compared to the super lame ones in that world. I think you and her will get along swimmingly~”

Maybe it IS connected? [RP with catharticGrievance]

#technologicalgambler #AG ic; #CG ic; #Maybe it IS Connected? RP #((-coughcoughpalecoughcough-)) #((vris /lives/ to piss kk off in the most platonic way possible. not that she makes it obvious its platonic lmao)) #((she p much likes pissing everyone off and black flirting tho thats nothing new))

[catharticgrievance-blog]

The moment that phrase left his moirail’s mouth, Karkat groaned loudly and leaned his head back against the couch cushions, looking up at him from the floor, prepared to be utterly done with him. “Here we fucking go. My hear ducts are open and clear, ready to listen and follow you wherever the hell you’re going to go with this this time.”

“You just don’t wanna think about how badly we’ve been kicking your asses. Come on, Vantas, you can admit it. There’ll only be a little judgement, promise~”

“Choke and die.”

Vriska cackled at that, setting aside her controllers and turning to the humans, resting her chin on her hand and smirking. “Alright, let’s hear it, Strider, this better be good.”

The both of them listened in with wavering levels of interest focus, leaving the talking to the other two for now. The theory surprised them, Vriska having never heard of it and Karkat remembering the argument he overheard Jade and the other Strider having. Bird’s of a feather apparently held ground here. The spidertroll couldn’t help getting interested in the idea(the flattery descriptor not helping) while the crab comment earned Dave a glare and indignant click from the mutant. 

It was obvious enough to tell which side they each were on.

Karkat had been turning around, about to speak, when Dave had to fucking hammer the growing trail of puns home. Moving his controllers to the table calmly, he looked back at his moirail, expression entirely neutral-- until he pulled Dave completely off the couch by his legs. He quickly scrambled to take the spot before it could be reclaimed or taken up by Vriska, causing her to huff and lean on him heavily in retaliation, earning another click from him.

“So-- You want us to take their personalities and interests into account and match that up to the probably limitless amount of worlds out there? Yes, that makes perfect sense and will totally not be a major waste of time and effort on our parts.”

“Oh, come on, Karks, it doesn’t seem entirely stupid. Besides, it’s cliche as fuck, don’t you eat that shit up like tuber paste? All we gotta do is figure out the stereotypical shit that goes with the others, it’s not all that hard, you big squeak grub.”

“Ughhhhhhh-- Fine, we can try, but it’s not my fucking fault if it’s fruitless.”

They both paused in thought for a moment, Vriska’s claws tapping against her metal arm noisily.

“Aradia is accounted for but I have no fucking clue where she originally ended up.”

“Pupa definitely landed in Neverland, no doubt.” “Where the fuck else, honestly?”

“Fuck if we know where Sollux landed, but he’s around. Somewhere. Bulgemunch needs to visit eventually.” “Says you.”

“You ended up here, because you’re a huge crabcake.” “Shut the hell up.”

“Nepeta probably ended up somewhere with meowbeasts or where she could hunt to her bloodied big heart’s content.” “Awwwwwwww--” “Didn’t I tell you to shut up?” 

“Kanaya is somewhere with either Drinkers, sunlight, or fashion. She loves all that shit.” “Awww--” “Can it, Vantass.” “Snrk.”

“’Rezi landed in Radiant Garden. Castles and dragons, self explanatory.” “Yuuuuuuuup~”

“I landed here because I’m a badass pirate and live for this weather.” “Sure, Vris, sure.”

“Zahhak is all about hoofbeasts and robots.” “Waaaaaaaay too about ‘em.” “Yeah...”

“Clowns and carnivals?” “Fucking duh.” “Any clue where?” “Nope.”

“Eridan is in Radiant Garden, because he’s royal blood and a prince class. And he’s Eridan.” “Bluhhhhhhhh~”

“Peixes is-- Oh my fucking fae, are you KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!”

A record scratch could practically be heard from Karkat’s brain at Vriska’s exclamation, thinking it over before sitting up straight and snapping his fingers, knocking the other troll off him in the process.

“Fuck!” 

“ATLANTICA!”

“Arrrrrrrrgh-- Yeah, yeah Atlantica! Where the fuck else could she possibly be???????? She’s a glubby, bubbly fishy princess for fuck’s sake!!!!!!!!”

The mutant got up from the couch an rushed out of the room, pacing back with the list of world coordinates a moment later, flipping through it quickly and finding the one needed before leaving again. The cerulean stared after him judgingly, looking back over to her best friend.

“He does know he can’t use space magic, right? Sorry to say, but I think your boyfriend broke or is just straight up stupid.” She called out back to him. “Oi! I’m ~--EXCIT--ED~ too, but calm your shit, spongerot!” 

“Fuck you, Serket!” 

“Not my job~”

Maybe it IS connected? [RP with catharticGrievance]

    “…Okay, hear me out.”

    “No, we’re not turning items back on.  We already decided that the winning team picks the rules, and Vriska and I’ve won four times straight.  You two can stuff it, I don’t wanna hear it.”

    “Wow, a’ight.  Gotta just flaunt your victories around.  Thought you flaunted enough around already, but nope.  This victory’s the latest one, and damn, Karkat, not one that you’d actually enjoy.  What a shame, what a fuckin’ shame.”  Dave leaned back into the couch and rested his arms behind his head, taking the Wii remote and nunchuck with him.  “Guess y’all don’t want to hear these epiphanies I’ve discovered while plunderin’ around in my safe of a mind.  Could just keep it in, we’d be richer then…but it’s too good of an idea to let it just waste away as a collector’s piece…”

    Jade sighed and rested her controller on her leg, pro controller loose in her finger’s grip.  

    “Just so long as you’re not suggesting that your body’s an orphanage, shoot.  What’s up?”

    Dave leaned back forward and set his controllers down, making way for his hands to be used as emphasis as he was a man who spoke in hands.  “So, I’ve been thinkin’-”

    “Never a good thing.”

    “Only lettin’ you say that because that means I’m Belle, thus a stunnin’ beaut in the flesh here who gets to participate in bestiality with a side of Stockholm’s syndrome.  Anyways.”

    “I was doin’ my normal rounds through my mind’s tracks, leadin’ the thought train from one station to the next, and on this round, and couldn’t help but notice a new path open up, like I’d completed some unknown task and was given a new area to explore.  So’s I check it out, yeah?  Explore that train of thought and end up thinkin’ ‘bout where we all ended up world wise durin’ our respective calamities, in comparison to what we’re like-”

    “Oh my god.”

   “And that got me thinkin’ - see, doin’ the thinkin’ thin’ still - are, like, our friends and family on worlds that are cruelly ironic, thus provin’ mine and Rose’s theory of cosmic irony, and havin’ a prime example in the works.”  A pause for breath.  “No, no, hear me out, hear me out.  I ended up on Nirn, and well.  It’s me.  Swords ‘n medieval shit.  Y’all ended up on these islands, and that couldn’t be more fitting with a born islander, a pirate, and the crabbiest of fuckin’ crabs to crab.  Ampora landed near a castle, if that didn’t help stroke his ego and tentadick.  Dick ended up in the Keyblade Graveyard, again with the swords…y’see what I’m gettin’ at here?”

    “How many times must I remind you of the concept of correlation does not equal causation?  Just because it’s happened, doesn’t mean that cosmic irony is to blame, and that it’s why we ended up where we did.”  How was she supposed to tell Dave this was exactly Dirks point?

    “But with this many cases, it’s gotta be!”

    Oh my god, you sound like your cousin!

    Jade sighed and dragged her hands across her face.  “Please, then, explain what you plan on doing to prove this theory of yours.  I’d love to hear it.”

    Dave gave a shrug.  “I’unno, find my aunt and cousins?  Seein’ Swan again is definitely temptin’, though the irresistible temptation lies in makin’ Deedee squirm with a little help from my cousins.  But I guess it could be used for other shit.  Like, trolls.

    “You two’re gettin’ what I’m suggestin’, right?  Or do I have to roll this up into a blunt to get y’all to see what I see?  Can ya think of any places where the horn things are possibly?  Where they may be or not be?  ‘Cause I’m fuckin’ Stump’d.  Maybe Wentz’d?  Trohman’d?”

#AG ic; #CG ic; #technologicalgambler #Maybe it IS connected? RP

[catharticgrievance-blog]

W8, seriously?

...

Heyyyyyyyy, if you need a place to get away, you can come on over if ya wanna. Vantas might even show his face 8ack here after days~

VR1SK4 1 4M T3XT1NG YOU 4S 4 L4ST D1TCH 3FFORT

D1RK 4ND L4LOND3 4R3N’T H3R3 SO 4MPOR4 TH1NKS H3 H4S FR33 R4NG3 OF TH3 C4STL3 4ND WON’T STOP BL4ST1NG TH3 S4M3 FOUR SONGS OV3R 4ND OV3R 4G41N

TH3 P1P3S 4R3 SH1T H3R3 4ND 1T 1S M4GN1F13D 1N TH3 B4S3M3NT

TH1S 1S 4N SOS YOU GOTT4 H3LP M3

1 TH1NK H3′S F1N4LLY LOST 1T H1S P4N 1S THOROUGHLY CORROD3D S3ND H3LP

#caliginousadvocate #AG: ::::) #AG ic;

[catharticgrievance-blog]

technologicalgambler:

  what did i do????  oh my god, did i say something wrong????

  holy shit, babe, sorry!!!!  dont know for what right now but oh my god im so sorry!!!!

YOU DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING WRONG, JADE, IGNORE HER. NOTHING HAPPENED--

Pushes him away.

He heard you talking a8out those giant cra8 things and he’s 8eing a HUGE WRIGGLER over it. He’s such low sauce with these things it’s hilarious.

SHUT YOUR FLAPPING WINDHOLE, SERKET, NOT EVERYONE WAS A MASS MURDERER AS A SINGLE SWEEP. AND I KNOW YOU CAUGHT IT, TOO, DON’T EVEN FRONT. MY REACTION-- WHICH WAS NOT PASSING OUT --WAS ENTIRELY JUSTIFIABLE.

AGAIN, IGNORE HER, AND YOU HAVE NO REASON TO APOLOGIZE I’M SORRY.

#technologicalgambler #CG ic; #AG ic;

[catharticgrievance-blog]

HOLY SHIT, HARLEY, VANTAS PASSED OUT! It was GR8!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU, NO I DIDN’T!

#technologicalgambler #CG ic; #AG ic; #((he totally did))

[catharticgrievance-blog]

technologicalgambler:

  its almost like i worded it like that on purpose!!  dont mean to sound bad, but youre super cute when you turn red like that holy shit have you seen yourself??

  love ya, babe <3

  wait you are up for earrings??  awesome!!  you can pick them out, too!  im cool with whatever you choose! .u.

YES, I’VE SEEN MYSELF. NO, I AM NOT CUTE, I’M AN EMBARRASSMENT.

... LOVE YOU, TOO <3 DESPITE THE FACT YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE, ESPECIALLY TO ME.

SERIOUSLY...? I GET TO PICK THEM? MEANING THEY’LL BE MATCHING ON TOP OF SIMULTANEOUS? OH...

NO PRESSURE ON ME AT ALL THEN, LOVELY.

#technologicalgambler #CG ic;

[catharticgrievance-blog]

technologicalgambler:

  aww, thats really sweet!!  admittedly i didnt have anything planned because i was bracing myself to be bombarded by red and pink decorations and cavity worthy shows of affection, soooo uhh

  wanna get our ears pierced together or something? :?  i was planning on doing it anyways, so we could both go and get it done!!  then maybe we could go see a movie after while our ears recover from having flesh punched out

  …that sounds bad im sorry o m f

His ears twitch, turning red.

EAR PIERCINGS...? SURE, YEAH, THAT SOUNDS GOOD, GREAT EVEN. I’M DOWN. FOR THE MOVIE, TOO, OF COURSE.

....WORDING, HARLEY, HOLY FUCK.

#technologicalgambler #CG ic;

[catharticgrievance-blog]

technologicalgambler:

  honest to god i thought you were gonna do something super sappy today!!  considering last years spectacle, i thought i wasnt going to survive the sap fest that would be valentines with karkat vantas 2017!!!

  have you finally been merciful and spared me? :oc

WELL, I-- 

OKAY, YEAH, YOU CAUGHT ME. I’M SPARING YOU FROM OVEREXPOSURE TO MY ABSURD ROMANTIC IDEATIONS. FOR NOW. A REPRIEVE, REALLY.

I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING THAT YOU COULD CHOOSE THIS YEAR...?

#technologicalgambler #CG ic;

[catharticgrievance-blog]

technologicalgambler:

  oh, nothing in particular!  youve nothing to worry about!  well, except maybe this

  Not even waiting for Karkat’s response, she goes in for the kiss, drawing it out for a bit.

  happy valentines day, karkaaat~

His eyes widened in surprise at the sudden kiss, nearly falling shut a moment later when he kissed back, an affectionate chirr rising in his throat. After she spoke, he leaned forward to give her another kiss, pulling away with a shy smile.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, JADE.

#technologicalgambler #CG ic;

[catharticgrievance-blog]

OH BOY...

JAAAAAAAAAAAADE, WHAT'RE YOU UP TO?

  oh kaaaaaaaaaaaarkaaaat~!

#((he knows that tone and it flusters the hell outta him lmao rip)) #CG ic; #technologicalgambler

[catharticgrievance-blog]

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM--

DAVE, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS FOR SAYING THAT. LATER. 

I’M SO WEIRDLY PROUD AND HAPPY WHAT THE HELL?! THIS HAS BETTER WRITING THAN MOST ROM-COMS, ALTERNIAN OR OTHERWISE, HOW THE FUCK DID THEY MAKE THAT WORK WITH A FUCKING SPORTS ANIME?

IT’S A MIRACLE THAT ASS GOT THE PLACEMENT HE DID AND YOU KNOW IT, THOUGH I CAN FEEL FOR THE GUY HE STILL FUCKED UP SEVERELY.

TOO LATE, STRIDER, I BETRAYED YOU LONG AGO. ABOUT A MINUTE IN. BROKE MY OWN DUMBASS RECORD TODAY, TOO.

  okay well that was an interesting end to it all i gotta say so myself i am so glad the little demon child won against the odds and snagged herself the gold might i say i am mighty proud of the little russian lady severely upset by jjs standing but eh protag syndrome whattya gonna do go pitchforks and torches blazin to kubos front door and demand a rewrite

  nah you live with the consequences and the consequences are victuuri not tying the knot just yet

  so guys whatd you think of it

  ;A;

  jade

  jade no dont cry i

  im not crying omfg im just

  im so happy for them!!!!

  fuckin a i cant believe youre crying this hard over it

  jesus christ virgin mary and all them other holy shits and shit karkat you better not betray me and be cryin too

#technologicalgambler #CG ic; #yoi spoilers #((karkat's fav is yurio txt it)) #((unsurprisingly))

[catharticgrievance-blog]

((Heyo! For the sake of simplicity and not clogging things up(or tearing my hair out), these two are already over at the shop, and will be on technogunblade, which is my other blog!))

#((gods save our damned souls this is gonna be a ride)) #ooc;;

[catharticgrievance-blog]

.....!

You done hogging the 8athroom yet? I gotta get ready, too, asshole! ...The hell’s your pro8lem now?

SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH DAVE.

The fuck--? He’s on the other side of town! And last I checked you aren’t Spidertroll so you don’t have moirail senses!!!!!!!!

I’M GOING ON AHEAD, SEE YOU THERE.

Pushes past her, grabbing his hoodie as he leaves.

DUM8ASS, YOU FORGOT YOUR STUPID MAKEUP-- Eh, fuck it, he’ll realize it like half way there.

#((LETS PRETEND I WROTE THIS HOURS AGO AND DIDNT KNOCK OUT FOR LIKE 5 HOURS BC POOR SLEEP SCHEDULE)) #cg ic; #AG ic;

[catharticgrievance-blog]

technologicalgambler:

  toooooooold you it was worth the wait!!

  damn right it was coulda sworn that yall were gonna get sent straight to azkaban for your very liberal usage of the cruciatus curse but guess not since time flew faster with all that shit going on

  i was specifically trying to avoid that, im not the biiiggest fan of those weirdos that like to devour souls, thats why the torture was as spread out as it was! :D

  damn you conniving harley

  damn right~!  

  thank you so much guys!!  love you, karkat <3

  and oh my god thank you so much vriska for waiting, you shit!  ^A^  i appreciate the movie and all that, but there was a reason why i said to wait!!  roxys gonna be here later with some of her friends, so its DEFINITELY gonna be worth it!!

  fuck yeah its worth it!  were LEGAL now and we can have whatever fun we want because now we are the age where were allowed to finally drown our lifes problems away with the best kind of drug out on the market that finely aged beverage known colloquially among my people as FUCKIN BOOZE

  FUCK YEAH WE GET TO GO DRINKING WITH MY COUSIN MY BEST COUSIN THE FUCKING BEST COUSIN AND FUCKIN GRIM ID SAY BLESS HER BUT SHED TAKE SO MUCH OFFENSE TO THAT

  ey bro karkat my dude my bro thanks dude <>

???????? !!!!!!!!

GODS, THE BOTH OF YOU ARE NERDS, I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO RESPOND TO IT PROPERLY.

LOVE YOU, TOO, JADE. <3

Gross ::::P

Ehhhhhhhh, it wasn’t THAT 8ad, just me DYING from anticipation, no 8iggy~

Lalonde is coming over? Well why the hell didn’t you say so 8efore! I’ve 8een wanting to meet her, 8ecause unlike you guys I wasn’t there when she popped 8y. Fucking ro88ed of that “life changing experience”, or however you put it, dum8 jo8.

Hell YEAH, Strider, that’s the spirit!!!!!!!!

VRISKA, YOU ARE A HORRIBLE INFLUENCE.

Thank you~ ::::D

Shakes head and laughs.

THIS OUGHTA BE FUN....

NO PROBLEM, BRO <>

MY SAPPINESS HAS GOTTEN INFECTIOUS, WE’RE ALL DOOMED.

#technologicalgambler #CG ic; #AG ic; #((-excited vriska noises bc JADE DID THE THING!!!!!!!!-)) #((get a pile already omfg)) #((HAPPY BABIES))

[catharticgrievance-blog]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE. AND CONSIDERING IT’S THE WEEKEND NOW AND YOU CRABBED AT ME FOR SAYING IT BEFORE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JADE.

Happy 8irthday, you nerds~

#CG: ♢ ♡ (:B #AG: ::::)!!!!!!!! #cg ic; #AG ic; #technologicalgambler