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why are french people rude?

Ah well, the safest explanation when an entire country’s people are stereotyped as rude is that they have their own culture with different criteria for politeness than the ones you are used to. It’s probably easier for Americans to forget this than for the rest of the world, because they consume less foreign media than the rest of us (from literature in translation to foreign films) and are less exposed to aspects of foreign cultures that could inform them about different norms of politeness (online interactions happen in their own language and follow their own (anglo) social codes.) With this insular worldview it’s easy to take it for granted that American good manners are universal. They are not!

A very common gripe against American tourists in Paris is that they talk so loudly in public spaces, which is definitely rude here but I assume that in the US, people just have a different threshold for what constitutes ‘loud’ (I wonder if it is due to being used to having more space than Europeans). I also remember a discussion I had with one of my translation professors about the American concept of ‘active listening’ and how negatively it is perceived in France. It may be that in the US it is polite to make ‘listening noises’ at regular intervals while someone is speaking to you, ‘uh huh’, ‘right’, ‘yeah’, ‘really?’, and that you would perceive someone who just stands there silently as disinterested or thinking about something else. In France it is more polite to shut up and listen (with the occasional nod or ‘mmh’) and it’s rather seen as annoying and rude to make a bunch of useless noise while someone is speaking.

There are of course countless examples like that. The infamous rude waiters in Parisian cafés probably seem a lot more rude and cold to people who have a different food culture… People from other cultures might consider a waiter terrible at his job if he doesn’t frequently check on them to make sure they don’t wait for anything, but the idea that a meal is a pleasant experience rather than just a way to feed yourself (esp when eating out) means we like having time to chat and just enjoy our table for a while, so we don’t mind as much waiting to order or for the next course. French people would typically hate if an overzealous waiter took the initiative to bring the note once we’re done with our meal so we don’t have to wait for it, as it would be interpreted as “you’re done, now get out of my restaurant.”

The level of formality required to be seen as polite is quite high in France, which might contribute to French people being seen as rude by people with a more casual culture. To continue with waiters, even in casual cafés they will address clients with the formal you and conversely, and won’t pretend to be your friend (the fact that we don’t have the American tip culture also means they don’t feel the need to ingratiate themselves to you.) I remember being alarmed when a waitress in New York introduced herself and asked how I was doing. “She’s giving me her first name? What… am I supposed to with it? Use it?” It gave me some insight on why Americans might consider French waiters rude or sullen! It might also be more accepted outside of France to customise your dish—my brother worked as a waiter and often had to say “That won’t be possible” about alterations to a dish that he knew wouldn’t fly with the chef, to foreign tourists who were stunned and angry to hear that, and probably brought home a negative opinion of French waiters. In France where the sentiment in most restaurants is more “respect the chef’s skill” than “the customer is king”, people are more likely to be apologetic if they ask for alterations (beyond basic stuff) as you can quickly be seen as rude, even by the people you are eating with. 

And I remember reading on a website for learning English that the polite answer to “How are you?” is “I’m fine, thank you!” because it’s rude to burden someone you aren’t close to with your problems. In my corner of the French countryside the polite thing to do is to complain about some minor trouble, because saying everything is going great is perceived negatively, as boasting, and also as a standoffish reply that kind of shuts down the conversation, while grumbling about some problem everyone can relate to will keep it going. (French people love grumbling as a positive bonding activity!)

Basically, before you settle on the conclusion that people from a different place are collectively rude, consider that if you travel there and scrupulously follow your own culture’s social code of good manners, you might be completely unaware that you are being perceived as obnoxious, rude or unfriendly yourself simply because your behaviour clashes with what is expected by locals.

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Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from

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back at it again with the coffinshipping text memes

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collection of posts that have made me yell YOU NEED TO PLAY RAIN WORLD out loud

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tfw YEAH YEAH and EAT THIS

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i rename my games

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what kinda godless heathens don't use the radio when they play fallout? like what are you supposed do with yourself? kill the guy who shot you in the head in bitter silence?? die from ancient cosplayers without having to hear the same verse and chorus again and again and again??? explode a monorail??? johnny freaking guitarless????? your spurs are still and sad i hate all of you

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fallout fans when some old ass song starts playing

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Minecraft Mod idea because GOD I’ve had this idea since forever and I needed to put it on paper.

I have always been a sucker for ambience in Minecraft, but almost every weather mod I find is more focused on the survival aspect of it so, for the longest time I’ve thought about what a more ambient form of weather mod would be like.

I would absolutely love to make this into an actual mod myself, but my 0 experience in coding and modding is unfortunately hindering that idea. >_> Though if there’s anyone out there with modding experience that actually wants to help make this a thing, I’d be more than happy to help out in any way I can with it.

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warmth-sucker

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tagged by @jennilah <3

shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people

oh boy watch this be cringe 1. Too Sweet- Hozier 2. Fire Drill- Melanie Martinez 3. Mary- Alex G 4. Meant to Be Yours- Heathers Original Broadway Cast 5. Too Close- Sir Chloe 6. Why Didn't You Stop Me?- Mitski 7. Electra Heart- MARINA 8. Me and My Husband- Mitski 9. I Bet on Losing Dogs- Mitski 10. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover- Paul Simon

ermmm i dont have a lot of friends but. calling upon mutuals (no pressure ofc) @morguenest @the-bellhopper @ozkar-is-salt @grim-woof @ritesofspring

#HELP why are there 3 fucking mitski songs #tell me you're depressed without telling me #the fact that these are all either my saw playlist or house playlist. we know where my mind has been for the past few months #OR BOTH some of these are on both #but. this is mostly my saw playlist talking #i am insane. #thank you for the tag

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Chilling in the saw traps