chaosremlin1

[chaosremlin1]

Ok so blue is the most common favourite colour, I guess but like what blue????

#random polls #i want to know #blue #I hate turquoise #Turquoise apologists explain your sins #screw turquoise #lying MF

[chaosremlin1]

Part 6/??

[chaosremlin1]

yeah so Ido not visit the sea often, right. But I do belive to have thalassophobia. Because of my fucking dreams.

I have slept for 3 hours and one of my many dream was the following:

A delivery guy showed up at my place. We had cars in the front, so the people from the house went to part them next to the house while I hung back in yard, poking around. Somehow I was instructed to remove a pile of dirt. (At this point I discovered I may have not been me but some fallen angel? I made a lot of sarcastic comments about god in the way someone would talk about their neglectful parent. I believe this is just my binge watching of Lucifer showing up.)

Anyway, so I went to remove the dirt with someone else. We discovered that there were huge ass ants, like size-of-your-palm ants, so we left it alone. I think one then bit me because I became "connected to All Nature" (my words in-dream) and suddenly I am looking at the grass but the grass is a view over an underwater cliff, into a trench. I can recognise I am rather deep, because the tench if filled with blue-black. There's barely any light.

And then I see an enormous shape emerging. It's like a whale, but much much bigger and the snout (?) is lot more rounded. A leviathan, if you will. And then I hear it wail "Come.... Closer...."

And that's when I woke up, in absolute panic, which only happens when I dream or something scary, gross, shoking or when I die.

I've always been rather uncomfortable with depths - even in the pool - which is why I deeply dislike those huge pool complexes with many many pools and many of them having big drop-offs. "Deep ends" I suppose. I don't like the thought of swimming at sea because of the thought of being Eaten. (Not that I can swim? I learned but dropped it as soon as my gender related body issues emerged.)

So maybe I do have some absolute terror about this. Maybe it was a manifestation of the Call of the Void, which is something I experience very regularly. Either way, I have not had a dream that has left me briefly panic for a while, so maybe I have some form of Thalassophobia even though I no longer interact with large bodies of water nor do I observe them. But I believe that it is a rather rational fear - there are big, scary things deep down. How do we know there isn't something bigger? We don't. Sure, it would have to be something that never surfaces and likely something denser than water so it doesn't resurface after it dies, and the deep ocean would have to be able to provide it with enough calories to live, but that isn't exactly absolutely impossible, is it? When I say leviathan, I just mean something eluded to us. I don't mean a fantastical deep sea dragon, I just mean a huge animal that can survive it's entire life in the very depths and which sinks when it dies.

But, don't take me seriously. I have have and art hs degree and will be starting my bachelor education in English next month. I am not a man of science.

[chaosremlin1]

god forbid 5000 year old girls do anything

[chaosremlin1]

tf why does my melatonin taste like oval glue??????????? Like why?????? I taste it for like a second I know what pva glue tastes like it’s what it tastes like

#Pva glueeeeee

[chaosremlin1]

If we aren’t this level of friends then don’t talk to me

#the stinky dragon podcast #Has carried me #Through insomnia

[chaosremlin1]

UwU 👉👈 this page for me???

#uwu <3 #enjoy