chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

It made me wonder how many times we forgive just because we don’t want to lose someone, even if they don’t deserve our forgiveness.

Deb Caletti, Honey, Baby, Sweetheart (via wordsnquotes)

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

I still find pieces of you everywhere. It makes me sad seeing those little notes that you left. It makes me even more sad seeing my different list of what we could have done. What hurts even more is that when I open those lists we have not done a single thing. Not one activity or place that I wrote we have checked off. The closest was my family trip to Tahoe but I wouldn’t count that to be honest. It breaks my heart.

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

January 21, 2017

Guys, I feel gross. For months now I have felt unsatisfied with myself. I would ask what do you want to do today Chielsea? What would make you happy? I would turn to the foodie side of me that wants to try all the new stuff everywhere. Slowly but surely my cravings for food left me feeling empty every time I finished a plate. Then I turned to looking for experiences. I went on a wild ride of partying and drinking. Yet in the chaos of dancing and people buying me drinks I look at myself and I’m not happy. Sure! I looked great with my party squad. We were the group with the gorgeous ladies and muscle ripped men. It wasn’t until all the alcohol caught up to me that in my every night bare belly skin tight outfit that I saw myself and had to face the truth. I was not happy with my body. Sure, I am healthy but I have been better. After realizing this truth a fire burned inside me that wants to just aggressively and dare I admit it, recklessly get into better shape. I knew the path I was formulating was wrong but I craved those results. Thankfully, people that care about me took notice and shared their ideas. No matter how much I workout, I can’t reach my goal if my diet doesn’t change. After a ton of calculations, the truth stared at me. I’ve been eating wrong. Despite not eating chips, candy, and not drinking soda, it was not enough to reach what I want. Today I am starting my first healthy, weight loss, and muscle build meal plan. It is a challenge but I know it takes time to train yourself to eat this way. So how bad do I want it? I guess we will see in a few months.

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

It made me wonder how many times we forgive just because we don’t want to lose someone, even if they don’t deserve our forgiveness.

Deb Caletti, Honey, Baby, Sweetheart (via wordsnquotes)

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

I'm really happy right now.

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

Let's see where this show takes me.

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

Just noticed I need air in my tires. Ha! That's why my car has been sliding everywhere.

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

I think this means it is ok for me to move on. Breathe out. Release.

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

He just said he loves me. Oh no no no. Please don’t.

We still have three semesters together. We can't complicate things!!

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

Showed up to work 6 hours after my overnight shift only to be given an option to stay and work or just leave. I left. I need to go study. Priorities.

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

Are you open to starting a new relationship? It seems like you're busy all the time so I don't know.

Oh wow. Umm. You’re definitely right about my busy schedule! Which makes me think that you know me well.Though to answer your question, MAYBE during winter break I’m open to MAYBE starting something new.Finals week is here and I barely even have time to sleep and eat. Problem is if I start something new what’s gonna happen during spring semester?I am a full time student and a full time and more employee.In my previous relationship, I saw him late at night which deprived me of sleep. During the day hours that I do see him, I slept most of the time.

So to complete my answer, I do really miss all the cuddling and constant presence… it’s just up to you if you are able to accommodate my schedule. With that, you have to be emotionally mature enough to understand that even if I spend all my time studying at Starbucks, I still care about you. Even so, I want you sitting next to me studying or doing whatever you need to do without talking to me for an hour or two. And that is a DIFFICULT emotional commitment to undertake. And it is exactly what I’m asking for.Going on from here I know that I will be studying 24/7 till my doctorates so if I do start a relationship most days will be only a good morning and a good night text. Yet I still wish that on certain days when I’m studying someone will just hold me from behind and just sit there. Me focused studying while being held would be the best thing right now! Ahaha.

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

Vent I’ve been working crazy hours so I just need to let out some work steam.

I understand that you are the main manager but don’t try to lord over me when I know what I’m doing. We both want the same results. If I could multiply myself and do it all, I would. But I can’t and the people I’m in charge of have different levels of experience and I know I can’t expect them to know everything. Quite frankly, I feel like I know more about this than you do so you need to calm the fuck down. I can’t be working these crazy shifts and you expect me to be happy and Chielsea all the time? Weekends I literally go home to sleep for 8-10 hours and I’m back. Just back to back to back. You gave me this promotion without me applying and I gladly accepted. But I need you to understand that I know what I’m doing. If the numbers on your computer says otherwise know that I’m working on it or teaching someone how to fix that certain issue. You told me that I don’t need to report to anyone or you during my shift. That my entire team reports to me. Well damn. All the other e3 leaves me and my team alone but you seem to not be able to let us do our job. Do you understand each time you interrupt us you waste our time. SPECIALLY when we have a system going that we all understand and suddenly you mess it up when you think you have a better way when you yourself haven’t done half of the things my new team does. You give me an attitude of how much progress I’ve done compared to someone else. How is that even fair? That other person have one simple task that they need to do over and over again. They just go in rounds again and again looking for merchandise. Ok, she got seven carts down! That’s great! Oh, I only got 3 carts down? Have you stopped and thought about why the best and lead of the team only has 3 carts done? Because every time she can’t find something or anyone can’t find something, I look for it. So no, she hasn’t done 7 carts, probably 5 carts because of all the items from each cart that she couldn’t find. On top of that add whatever all the other people couldn’t find that I found. Oh! You know what else takes up my time? Leading my team. When the new kids have a question, I do it. When there’s a mistake, I do it. When there’s a missing item from the shipments, I do it. When there’s an overdue item, I do it. When there’s a bopus order I do it. When the cardboard carriers are full and it needs to be processed, I do it. When the Fed Ex and UPS comes I do it. When my packaging team feels overwhelmed, I jump in. I know what I have going. Once I set my team going on their individual task, I clean up our space. Which includes EVERY SINGLE DAY going over the report from the previous shift, getting rid of the hanger totes and setting up new ones, getting the bins set so when my flood of people come they just grab and go, checking if all the devices are connected, replacing all the batteries to max, looking for misplaced shipments that fed ex didn’t pick up, setting up the heavy bins and gaylords for fed ex or ups to pickup, finishing up whatever was left from the previous shift, and figuring out the schedule for everyone’s breaks and lunches. So leave me be. My system is good. I’m doing great. Company rate for cancelation is 10%, I’m running this team so that we’re at 5%. My team is practically completely separate from the floor. None of us call e3. They only call me. I’ve been doing 12 hour overnights plus a full shift on those days. I'm running this store by myself at 21 years old. Our store has one of the best Omni teams because I can tell what each person is good at and use that to lift them up. Other e3’s call me bossy to my face but hey! My team is proud to be a part of my team rather than the floor. When you see me tell someone how to do something, I’m not being bossy. I’m showing them how to do it right. Ever notice that when I do tell someone how to do something it's because it's their first day or they've never done that part of Omni before. If they do something different it’s gonna mess up our rhythm. And they’re probably better off knowing what to do than to work with doubt and fear if what they’re doing is right or wrong. So leave me be. Just watch your numbers. If you look close enough every time my team has a shift with no interruptions from the floor, our numbers are great.

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

I'm actually impressed by this selfie. I came home completely exhausted. When I dropped my leather jacket on the floor I thought that it looked at peace on the ground soooooo... I joined it on the floor, opened up snapchat to check the snaps from the night out, and then bam! I just had to take a selfie. 💕💕💕

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

Now that I've let go of you, I don't know why all of a sudden I see you everywhere that I look. I don't know if it's you. I don't run to see if it's you. Earlier today I think I saw you walk away. Probably three feet away. I felt myself lean forward to go after you but I leaned back. And I smiled. And I went on with my life

[chielseawhatdidyoudo-blog]

Could we all just stay in No Shave November? All these lumberjacks and wolverines around me is giving me life.