chrisemrysfics

[chrisemrysfics]

I can't with everything about this, MXTX is one of us, MXTXT knows DGM, the fact DGM and MDZS are two of my highest faves, and the forever mystery of which ship MXTX read about. But also I remember feeling like MDZS read like a well written fanfiction that I couldn't belueve was canon, and now it makes sense! It's like there's a vibe most fanfic reader/writer will have~!

I can't believe how close I am to gushing while reading this. Dgm has been one of my favourite mangas for almost a decade. To think that mxtx is likely a fan too... I'm so curious which side character Allen was shipped with. If it was Kanda I'm going to jump up to my ceiling and squeal.

[chrisemrysfics]

I really like the "in the context of the media and characters" because it also explains why sometimes you don't ship a similar dynamic in another fandom, and why sometimes you do. Sometimes, the specific context with specific characters is the reason why you ship it. Sometimes, its something about the dynamic, which can be found in various ships.

This also explains why, sometimes, you only ship A with B, and other times, you multiship and/or have polyship: its the context, the characters, that make you ship or not ship certain things.

And also, sometimes, there's characters you ship stricly platonically, or strictly romantically. And other times, characters you realize you enjoy as much in platonic ships than in romantic ones.

So yeah: I really like the wording and emphasis on how the context of the source material mixed with the characters themselves is important in how we form our ships. We all have our preferences, which is the other side of why we ship things, but the exact context plays a major part too.

aint this the fucken truth

#meta rambles

[chrisemrysfics]

SCREAM

I also read 248 and.

They finally speak to each other!

I love their interactions but also Nea please be nicer to Allen, then again maybe that's Nea's version of being nice, or helping, or wanting Allen to know the truth since apparently another headcanon of mine might be confirmed?

Nea throws the bombshell at Allen "it's almost as if you were remade by Apocryphos" and my headcanoned always did center on the idea that Apocryphos played a part in whatever happened to Allen, and nothing is really "confirmed" as it might be a suspicion, or Nea playing mind games, but the reason it was already a hc of mine is due to how it make sense.

We know Apo can modify memories. Unless it is purposefully misleading, it seems our current Allen is Past!Allen, so it means he somehow de-aged as well as forgot everything before is de-aging. So I'm not too surprised that Nea is like "I see those dots, I connect those dots", although him outright saying it to Allen made me yell softly like "oh wow, throw that bombshell okay alright"

[chrisemrysfics]

Nothing to say, just sharing those lovely planels of sleeping/waking Allen~!

I forgot to check for a long while but as lately I've been thinking a bit more about my DGM ideas&fics, I decided to check for new chapters and there's two I haven't read.

And my heart ;; I'm only just into the, what, fifth page? And I'm putting the rest under read more to avoid spoiling anyone who like me hasn't checked in a while.

So listen: we never knew how Mana died and for my fics I worked with the idea that Mana died protecting Allen (pushed him away from a carriage's path) and Allen was in shock for the burying (which wasn't anything fancy since no one knew them and Allen was too in shock). Though I don't think any fic of mine touched that topic much yet so who knows, maybe I'll go with canon. I don't know yet.

But yes! Canon is destroying me because it's just... so peaceful yet so sad. Because sure, nothing happened like what I imagined (also I can't recall if it's a random idea or based on stuff from the novels), but that whole way Allen not only blame himself from Mana loosing his memories, but then had to watch Mana die bit by bit and then one day wake up to see him gone, and Allen thinking "I destroyed him"?

I am Not Okay and also fck Apo he's the one who made Allen do this!! Please someone let Allen know!!! I don't doubt he might still feel like its his hands that did this, but he also didn't mean to do it! And it wasn't random! Apo caused it!!

And also I already HCed CC as angry with Apo for how CC is "stuck" obeying if he's too close (because CC loves Allen and doesn't like being force to go against Allen wishes), now I'm like, CC is very much very angry because CC knows, unlike Allen, that Apo is behind that tragedy.

But ouch, Hoshino keeps delivering on the hurt, hope there's comfort eventually ;;

For context: Allen explains that Mana continued to deteriorate after they left the circus, and one day he just. passed away in his sleep.

(Also ouch, the next page, I had to make this post right away, but editing to add: ouch. Allen is saying, "And I called the Earl, of all things. I destroyed Mana twice". MY HEART

[chrisemrysfics]

My precious boy who can still smile like this ;;;;;;

I forgot to check for a long while but as lately I've been thinking a bit more about my DGM ideas&fics, I decided to check for new chapters and there's two I haven't read.

And my heart ;; I'm only just into the, what, fifth page? And I'm putting the rest under read more to avoid spoiling anyone who like me hasn't checked in a while.

So listen: we never knew how Mana died and for my fics I worked with the idea that Mana died protecting Allen (pushed him away from a carriage's path) and Allen was in shock for the burying (which wasn't anything fancy since no one knew them and Allen was too in shock). Though I don't think any fic of mine touched that topic much yet so who knows, maybe I'll go with canon. I don't know yet.

But yes! Canon is destroying me because it's just... so peaceful yet so sad. Because sure, nothing happened like what I imagined (also I can't recall if it's a random idea or based on stuff from the novels), but that whole way Allen not only blame himself from Mana loosing his memories, but then had to watch Mana die bit by bit and then one day wake up to see him gone, and Allen thinking "I destroyed him"?

I am Not Okay and also fck Apo he's the one who made Allen do this!! Please someone let Allen know!!! I don't doubt he might still feel like its his hands that did this, but he also didn't mean to do it! And it wasn't random! Apo caused it!!

And also I already HCed CC as angry with Apo for how CC is "stuck" obeying if he's too close (because CC loves Allen and doesn't like being force to go against Allen wishes), now I'm like, CC is very much very angry because CC knows, unlike Allen, that Apo is behind that tragedy.

But ouch, Hoshino keeps delivering on the hurt, hope there's comfort eventually ;;

For context: Allen explains that Mana continued to deteriorate after they left the circus, and one day he just. passed away in his sleep.

(Also ouch, the next page, I had to make this post right away, but editing to add: ouch. Allen is saying, "And I called the Earl, of all things. I destroyed Mana twice". MY HEART

[chrisemrysfics]

Allen ;;;;;;

Another little read more to avoid spoilers

He admits that Apocryphos was the most terrifying thing he ever faced, and he follows up by saying "even more than the Noah, Akuma, or Nea".

I already hced that Allen felt fear toward Apo (and anger, for seemingly having killed Cross), but to see it confirmed in canon, my heart breaks for Allen ;;

I forgot to check for a long while but as lately I've been thinking a bit more about my DGM ideas&fics, I decided to check for new chapters and there's two I haven't read.

And my heart ;; I'm only just into the, what, fifth page? And I'm putting the rest under read more to avoid spoiling anyone who like me hasn't checked in a while.

So listen: we never knew how Mana died and for my fics I worked with the idea that Mana died protecting Allen (pushed him away from a carriage's path) and Allen was in shock for the burying (which wasn't anything fancy since no one knew them and Allen was too in shock). Though I don't think any fic of mine touched that topic much yet so who knows, maybe I'll go with canon. I don't know yet.

But yes! Canon is destroying me because it's just... so peaceful yet so sad. Because sure, nothing happened like what I imagined (also I can't recall if it's a random idea or based on stuff from the novels), but that whole way Allen not only blame himself from Mana loosing his memories, but then had to watch Mana die bit by bit and then one day wake up to see him gone, and Allen thinking "I destroyed him"?

I am Not Okay and also fck Apo he's the one who made Allen do this!! Please someone let Allen know!!! I don't doubt he might still feel like its his hands that did this, but he also didn't mean to do it! And it wasn't random! Apo caused it!!

And also I already HCed CC as angry with Apo for how CC is "stuck" obeying if he's too close (because CC loves Allen and doesn't like being force to go against Allen wishes), now I'm like, CC is very much very angry because CC knows, unlike Allen, that Apo is behind that tragedy.

But ouch, Hoshino keeps delivering on the hurt, hope there's comfort eventually ;;

For context: Allen explains that Mana continued to deteriorate after they left the circus, and one day he just. passed away in his sleep.

(Also ouch, the next page, I had to make this post right away, but editing to add: ouch. Allen is saying, "And I called the Earl, of all things. I destroyed Mana twice". MY HEART

[chrisemrysfics]

AUGH

I've continued reading Chapter 247 and its so good ;;;;;; feeding us so well ;;;;;;

I forgot to check for a long while but as lately I've been thinking a bit more about my DGM ideas&fics, I decided to check for new chapters and there's two I haven't read.

And my heart ;; I'm only just into the, what, fifth page? And I'm putting the rest under read more to avoid spoiling anyone who like me hasn't checked in a while.

So listen: we never knew how Mana died and for my fics I worked with the idea that Mana died protecting Allen (pushed him away from a carriage's path) and Allen was in shock for the burying (which wasn't anything fancy since no one knew them and Allen was too in shock). Though I don't think any fic of mine touched that topic much yet so who knows, maybe I'll go with canon. I don't know yet.

But yes! Canon is destroying me because it's just... so peaceful yet so sad. Because sure, nothing happened like what I imagined (also I can't recall if it's a random idea or based on stuff from the novels), but that whole way Allen not only blame himself from Mana loosing his memories, but then had to watch Mana die bit by bit and then one day wake up to see him gone, and Allen thinking "I destroyed him"?

I am Not Okay and also fck Apo he's the one who made Allen do this!! Please someone let Allen know!!! I don't doubt he might still feel like its his hands that did this, but he also didn't mean to do it! And it wasn't random! Apo caused it!!

And also I already HCed CC as angry with Apo for how CC is "stuck" obeying if he's too close (because CC loves Allen and doesn't like being force to go against Allen wishes), now I'm like, CC is very much very angry because CC knows, unlike Allen, that Apo is behind that tragedy.

But ouch, Hoshino keeps delivering on the hurt, hope there's comfort eventually ;;

For context: Allen explains that Mana continued to deteriorate after they left the circus, and one day he just. passed away in his sleep.

(Also ouch, the next page, I had to make this post right away, but editing to add: ouch. Allen is saying, "And I called the Earl, of all things. I destroyed Mana twice". MY HEART

[chrisemrysfics]

I forgot to check for a long while but as lately I've been thinking a bit more about my DGM ideas&fics, I decided to check for new chapters and there's two I haven't read.

And my heart ;; I'm only just into the, what, fifth page? And I'm putting the rest under read more to avoid spoiling anyone who like me hasn't checked in a while.

So listen: we never knew how Mana died and for my fics I worked with the idea that Mana died protecting Allen (pushed him away from a carriage's path) and Allen was in shock for the burying (which wasn't anything fancy since no one knew them and Allen was too in shock). Though I don't think any fic of mine touched that topic much yet so who knows, maybe I'll go with canon. I don't know yet.

But yes! Canon is destroying me because it's just... so peaceful yet so sad. Because sure, nothing happened like what I imagined (also I can't recall if it's a random idea or based on stuff from the novels), but that whole way Allen not only blame himself from Mana loosing his memories, but then had to watch Mana die bit by bit and then one day wake up to see him gone, and Allen thinking "I destroyed him"?

I am Not Okay and also fck Apo he's the one who made Allen do this!! Please someone let Allen know!!! I don't doubt he might still feel like its his hands that did this, but he also didn't mean to do it! And it wasn't random! Apo caused it!!

And also I already HCed CC as angry with Apo for how CC is "stuck" obeying if he's too close (because CC loves Allen and doesn't like being force to go against Allen wishes), now I'm like, CC is very much very angry because CC knows, unlike Allen, that Apo is behind that tragedy.

But ouch, Hoshino keeps delivering on the hurt, hope there's comfort eventually ;;

For context: Allen explains that Mana continued to deteriorate after they left the circus, and one day he just. passed away in his sleep.

(Also ouch, the next page, I had to make this post right away, but editing to add: ouch. Allen is saying, "And I called the Earl, of all things. I destroyed Mana twice". MY HEART

[chrisemrysfics]

I am lazy so this is copy-paste directly from t/witter, I figured I'd share here too this idea that for now is just an idea (MDZS and FFXVI crossover)

Imagine WWX in the Hideaway. How he came to be there? I don't know. Maybe his canon was the distant past and he's an immortal or reincarnated. Maybe he world-hopped accidentally. Either way, he Does Not Approve the whole branded system, he's bound to end up meeting Cid.

Is it before or after Clive joins? Who knows. Now whatever the reason for WWX presence, in my head he does know about his own canon. He's looking for LWJ. And I'm feral for the idea that he's a "Dominant" of a draconic "Eikon" (Chinese Dragon). How to make it work? don't know 😂

Main option is one that ties into another fic of mine as to how WWX becomes a dragon, aka nothing to do with Eikon. But the itch to figure out how to make it work as an actual Eikon... And also what the element is in that case.. Its tempting to try making it work that way XD

All of that because I am feral for this scene my mind conjured, where Titan is about to crush the Hideaway, WWX goes "no you don't" and boom, massive chinese black dragon is curled above his newfound found family. Except I want Cid to live so Titan find the Hideaway earlier?

And then the whole fact WWX is a genius inventor, Wangxian (because LWJ would show up eventually, likely as the "yang eikon" to WWX "yin eikon" if I keep my nickname for these) are expert in cultivation. What if they figure out a way to counter the Blight&crystal curse?

Then there's the casual/fun stuff too, like WWX taking one look at Clive and going "this is my new son" which is hilarious because he would look younger/same age physically. Potential for Cid&WWX friendship. And the very fun fact everyone adore Torgal but WWX is TerrifiedTM.

Don't get me started on WWX flinging himself in LWJ arms when he finally finds him, or LWJ finds WWX, calling him his husband. The Shameless Wangxian begins and everyone else SuffersTM. And since the ship caught my heart: WWX notice the way Cid/Clive look at each other.

WWX: *smirks* LWJ: Wei Ying, behave. Wei Ying Did Not Behave, but hey, there's a nice firestorm happening now, so he's pretty happy with himself. (Note: Jill is best friend, I do love her, but I prefer platonic Jill&Clive).

Not me thinking "this is it" about the ideas and then my brain going "what if WWX is with the group in Oriflamme, which plays a part in Cid lives, as well as them arriving in time for him to go nope on Titan?" so here, that's what happens now in my brain!

Half of my brain is now going "that can explain why Cid, Clive and Jill aren't able to Prime if they KOed but alive", the other half is "ok but this also potentially allow Joshua to be there 👀

#projects #(at least that's the tag that works well enough to place this) #(even if i don't know if i'll do anything with this)

[chrisemrysfics]

This is still open!

I did totally forget to reblog the post from times to times, which has a lot to do with having caught Covid and having been resting since then ^^”

But yes, I remembered this existed and decided to keep it open until May 5th, so if you’d like a writing or a reading, make sure to donate before then and DM me for your gift~!

(Donations are, of course, welcome at any point in time, I simply opened the gifts for donations option to help with really rough months!)

Hello!

I suspect March will be a bit of a tight month for us, so I decided to try to do something about it!

Edit: this is now extended into April as the situation is still a bit tight!

As usual with me, what I do in these cases is to offer the options of receiving a gift from me if you donate via Ko-fi or Paypal.

It isn’t commission, as you can choose to just donate and not ask for anything. However, if you donate, I am willing to do something for you~!

This time, I offer two main types of gifts: writing and divination (cards reading).

If you donate up to 5 Euros, I am willing to do (only) one of those, and if you donate up to 10 Euros, I am willing to do both. These will be short/simple.

Between 10 and 20, I am willing to do one that is a little more long/detailed. Above 20, I am willing to do both and have them a little more long/detailed.

You can, however, donate what you want and pick which gift(s) you want that fits your donation (ex: if you donate 20, you can ask that I do both and have them longer/detailed aka “maximum” I do for this amount, or you can ask for just one gift).

Please note that I use divination for guidance, which can range from “What do I need to know right now?” to a specific question. Simple vs detailed is about how much cards I pull (1-3 for simple, 6+ for detailed). You can see it as offering help via a mean that provides the base for what I end up advising!

As for writings, I will favor receiving requests for MDZS fics as well as DGM fics, simply because they’ll be easier for me to write for. However, I am open to any fandom and writing OCs, it might just take a little longer for me. In general, just ask me what your request is, and I’ll discuss with you if there’s anything I’m uncomfortable with, otherwise I’ll go with it!

Any&all gifts requested will be put on a to-do list that I will go through in order of receiving them, so I will be able to tell you where you place at. However, even if it is your turn, please be patient with me!

To ask for your gift(s), DM me on this blog (chrisemrysfics), or my Twitter here, and let me know the nickname/name you donate under so I can quickly check with what I received!

This donations-for-gifts of mine will remain open through March, if for any reason I choose to close it before the end of March, I will make a post about it and wait a few days so you’re not caught off guard if you were considering donating!

Independently from all of that, you can also look at the original content I share online via my site https://chriscassar.carrd.co/ and choose from what you see whether you want to support me monthly or not via Patreon!

And of course, I will appreciate if you share this post as this helps too~!

Thank you for your time and have a lovely day!

#chrishere

[chrisemrysfics]

i was talking to the roomie the other idk Week? about wangxian & just lan wangji in general & his existence as a tragic character & roomie tacked on "im sure the angry horny-grip factored in" & like

yes, but only for baby teenji, yanno?

lwj is Always horny-grip but the anger part of it could've been a factor from like 10 different things ranging from "oh heavens Please Not That One" to "shufu will be Disappointed" to "(having a same-sex partner) goes against my clan's expectations of Me as an heir" to just simply being a teenager that Does Not Know How to Temper his emotions towards a crush

but that anger and self-rejection from lan wangji arguably dissipates completely once he loses wei wuxian. and i don't mean when he loses him for the 13 year stint of Death, but after the cultivation world at-large recovers jiang cheng from the fall of Lotus Pier, once the sunshot campaign begins, once wei wuxian's status of life becomes Unknown. Losing wei wuxian and living for 3some months without Knowing shook lan wangji enough to understand that there was no merit to be gained in flatly ignoring wei wuxian or rising to his taunts. that his struggle is now grappling with How to act on these emotions Once wei wuxian returns & i feel that's so sharply reflected in the stolen kiss. that Believing, even if only subconsciously, that he'd lost wei wuxian Forever triggered Something in him to go against his (presumed) clan's precepts about self-moderation and overindulgence and Probably body autonomy in his own Horribly clumsy ways

just thinking a lot about how post-resurrection wei wuxian's lan wangji has grown enough to Proactively pursue what he wants without the same hesitation that he felt when he was ~18-19 years old. that he's old enough and learned enough to be able to do that without intruding on autonomy & come to terms with the idea that he could be satisfied with just Being by wei wuxian's side as long as wei ying will have him

#(I love this!) #meta rambles

[chrisemrysfics]

I love this analysis!

If I may add, many trauma victims do take years to process their trauma and notice how their actions affect others. How long can vary on their environment, be it that they’re still facing stress, or on the contrary, have no one to truly make them question their actions.

And I feel JC falls into that second category: no one remains that cares enough to make him face his actions. JC himself doesn’t care about much. This is what I love about the story: there are reasons he is as he is, yet it doesn’t excuse what he’s done. I feel sympathy for him, as well as knowing he had no one who could help him (including help him see that there’s actions he really need to consider changing). But at the same time, having someone to care would change nothing is JC himself had no wish to change. We all know that its no use trying to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped, or doesn’t accept they have hurt others. On the other end, even without anyone at his side, JC could have looked properly at himself, and realize what he’s been doing, and choose to change.

To some degree, he knows there isn’t a sister or a martial brother to stop him, talk sense into him, and he decided that its his free card to do what he wants and not face himself. And it makes me wonder if how he acts once WWX is back relates to continuing to choose to act as he does, or a negative reaction to realizing that WWX isn’t trying to help. JC always showed possessiveness, and it makes me wonder if he feels angry deep down because WWX isn’t returning to him, is avoiding him. That’s only speculation, but it does attach back to how he acted before WWX death and after. JC acts as he wants, with no one to stand up to him that JC cares to listen to. Also: it feels telling that WWX doesn’t, in fact, try to speak to JC or anything of the sort, that WWX avoids him.

The one thing I do appreciate, though, is at the end: JC choose to not divulge a truth that might have affected WWX. There might be many reasons as to why, but it does make me wonder if its a sign that, for the first time in many years, JC made a different choice. I feel WWX would have been deeply affected by knowing why JC got captured, which JC would know. But he chose to not say anything and let WWX go when he left with LWJ.

I might be a little bit of a hopeful person, but I view that moment as the first sign that JC might finally be able to truly heal and change. However, all through the novel up until this point? He’s a very hurtful person who lashes out at everyone else, blaming others, and unwilling to face the consequences of his own actions. He might genuinely care, to some degree, but its mixed with his own feelings of jealousy and possessiveness. Its a delight to explore in fanfiction, as there are many ways there can be canon aus or aus that play with JC best/worst characteristics (and whether or not he face them), but canon JC is the example of someone who lash out at the whole world due to his suffering, never acknowledging others suffered the same way or suffered in other ways, and keeps hurting others to avoid facing himself.

As many says: understanding the reasons don’t excuse the actions. And JC isn’t yet in a space where we can speak of forgive and forget because he hasn’t changed yet. He’s still hurting others, so at most, his victims might only “forgive” in the sense of choosing to just let go of any negative feelings and move on with their life.... which is exactly what WWX did. He chose to just move on, and not continue the cycle of hate (unlike JC himself).

Like I said though, I like to see the ending moments as showing a possible sign that JC made at least one choice for the sake of WWX. It might not mean he’ll change, or he might. There is no knowing who post-canon JC might choose to become. And honestly, if I wanted to do JC justice, I would want to see a post-canon JC who faces his past, decide to change, and find peace that way. Or he doesn’t change, but the narrative acknowledges the hurt he causes, as a tribute of sorts to who he has been all through canon, and showing all it would take for his happiness is to start by noticing what actions hurt himself and others. Either options, to me, do justice to him, either by letting him find a new sense of peace, a new way of life that works for him, or by acknowledging why he hasn’t found peace.

So yeah, I adore WWX because he does recognize his own faults, but doesn’t let others put on him what he didn’t do, and who earns his good ending. I adore JC because he is the prefect example of a trauma victim who lashes out at the world around them, and who gets an open ending because his last action toward WWX might mean he finally is letting go of the past (by letting go of WWX instead of using a secret that would hurt WWX). I adore their dynamic because it was one that showed why they didn’t mix well (different priorities, different reactions to trauma, different personalities), which lets the reader consider what went wrong. So to blame one or the other or “attack” one of them is just sad because the whole point is that they are two people on a different path.

And because we follow WWX, we don’t see how JC grow after the end of the novel. We followed WWX path to his happy ending, but we don’t know when or if JC reach it. Yet, one thing is clear at the end: even if its by not interacting much anymore, WWX and JC found a certain peace with each other. So it feels sad to have stans of one character attack the stans of the other, instead of doing what their faves have done: let each other go on with their own life.

(Plus, pointing out the faults of a character doesn’t mean “hating” on them, in fact many people adore a character specifically for their faults. So I feel like a lot of stans might also view others call out faults, and view it as “hating” when its not. Which is just as sad).

I keep seeing the idea that Jiang Cheng is disliked or hated for his actions because “Jiang Cheng Antis” refuse to acknowledge ugly reactions to trauma, or victims who aren’t perfect, basically citing that he should be forgiven more than we do because not everyone is going to react the same to pain and trauma and just because his reactions aren’t perfect doesn’t mean that he should be held accountable for his actions, any of them, and us calling his actions wrong or abuse is us in fact being terrible.

I want to refute this idea for a few reasons:

First off, while I can’t speak for everyone, I know that I and my friends don’t think that his initial reactions being kinda bad are necessarily damning. Nobody is going to be perfect, sometimes when we are stuck in the worst parts of our lives, we do things that we will later regret in the process of surviving those times. It doesn’t really make it okay and we should understand if the people who are around us in those times don’t want to be around us anymore after that, but it isn’t a death knell that he reacts really poorly after the initial fall of Lotus Pier and the death of his parents and everyone he’s grown up with. I have forgiven characters for doing worse, but proving that it was their worst and turning around after that.

The problem with that part is that he doesn’t turn anything around. He never apologizes for strangling Wei Wuxian, he continues to turn the blame for what happened on people who weren’t involved even after getting to kill Wen Zhuliu and torture Wen Chao to death, holding Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and, for a time, Jin Zixuan as also being responsible even though none of them were, even though he knows this and adjusts his opinion later to drop Jin Zixuan out of the blame, even though he later adds Wen Ning to his list of those to blame despite Wen Ning rescuing him from Lotus Pier and sheltering him. It isn’t a worst moment of his life, brought on by trauma and pain, it’s just the start of his sliding slope downward.

Second off is the idea that this should exonerate him of all of his actions. Look at him! He lost his parents and his clan to war by the Wens! He has suffered so much, becoming a clan leader so young in the fires of war!!!

Except… he’s not the only one, not by a long shot. Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen, Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang all have their fathers killed and their homes attacked by the Wens as well. Both Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen also ascend at very young ages, no one was over twenty when they took up their positions, and at the end of the novel, Jin Ling is even younger when he takes on his own clan leader position. Also he isn’t the only one to go into war so young, Wei Wuxian is a whole five days older than he is, and the whole jianghu falls into war against the Wens, no doubt with other fighters who also lost their homes and families in the process.

It isn’t that it isn’t impressive that he manages to pull it together in the face of all that’s happening, it’s that he’s not the only person by any means to suffer this trauma. Wei Wuxian goes through the exact same journey that he does, but when this argument comes up, it’s always just for why Jiang Cheng shouldn’t be blamed, not about how their whole generation lost so much to a war that their parents left to them by refusing to do anything before even when they all saw the signs of what Wen Ruohan was doing.

The third part is that there’s apparently no limit or expiration date on how long people have to forgive him for doing whatever he wants to do. His trauma is a reason for him to treat people however he wants for as long as he wants, and they should just put up with it because he’s suffering and not all pain is beautiful.

But by the time Wei Wuxian comes back to life, it’s been almost twenty years. A whole generation, long enough for Jiang Cheng to watch his nephew grow to almost adulthood. The world as a whole is changed, he himself has transformed Lotus Pier into a whole new place; and it wasn’t because the Wens had destroyed everything, Wei Wuxian no longer recognizes it, meaning that this happened after he died. The general attitude that JC stans have towards Wei Wuxian is that he shouldn’t hold Jiang Cheng leading a siege against him because it’s been long enough, he should get over it by now. But Jiang Cheng apparently should still get to act without hesitation or consideration of others and their own pain because he is suffering, he is an imperfect victim. It doesn’t matter what else anyone else has gone through and it is unreasonable to hold him to task because he lost his family.

The whole point of poor trauma reactions is that they are moments, responses in time to events. It is one thing for Jiang Cheng to react poorly right after his family is killed and his home invaded. But he gets worse over the course of the story. The day of the attack, he strangles Wei Wuxian. That’s one thing. But three years later he turns on Wei Wuxian, declares him an enemy of the world, tells him to let the Wens be slaughtered even though they are no longer at war, later declares war on Wei Wuxian and personally leads a siege to kill him. In the interim, a time of peace in which supposedly all of his enemies are dead, he hunts down people who he claims to be demonic cultivators and people that Wei Wuxian is possessing and tortures them to death, all the while doing very little to help his people as he will only intervene once someone has already died to the problem. When Wei Wuxian returns to life thirteen years after he died, seventeen years after the war, when Jiang Cheng is literally double the age that this began, despite him deliberately trying to avoid Jiang Cheng, Jiang Cheng seeks him out multiple times specifically to hurt him, first trying to kill him with a whip that can destroy spirits possessing bodies, then tying him up and torturing him with a dog. Later he leads a second siege upon Wei Wuxian, who still has done nothing to him aside from try to avoid him before later attacking him and Lan Wangji by first demanding that they leave, then refusing to let them do so, driving Wei Wuxian to a qi deviation (which can be fatal, that’s how Nie Mingjue died) and attacking Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian with Zidian while Wei Wuxian is unconcious before Wen Ning stops him. Even in the temple, he’s still demanding that Wei Wuxian play by his rules of debts, he’s upset because he knows that he has gone so much farther than anyone has any right to and he has nothing to hold over Wei Wuxian’s head anymore.

Fifteen years of hurting everyone around him isn’t a poor trauma response. That’s deliberate and chosen. That is what he wants to do. It is a clear line of events where in the end, the trauma is an excuse over anything else.

If it had ended at the beginning of this list, Jiang Cheng would be a very different character and Modaozushi would be a very different novel. If it were just a trauma reaction and he didn’t want to hurt anyone in the long run, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

But you cannot exonerate everything with the fact that his parents died when he was seventeen. Especially not when we have so many other people who react in so many other ways to the same pain. It is frankly ridiculous that people think he is the only one to suffer in the story, even though it is clear that no one escapes the novel unscathed and a hell of a lot of people die. Sometimes even at his hands or by his orders.

Jiang Cheng is not unsympathetic. I can understand what hurts he feels, at least to an extent. But an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind and he just keeps doing it. And then his stans show up and claim that it’s fine for him to want to kill everyone who he hates (not necessarily everyone who’s even done him wrong, and they certainly like to ignore everything he does to them) because he’s an ugly trauma victim.

He may be that, at the start. But twenty years down the line, when he gets excited at the thought of getting to torture people, that isn’t a trauma reaction anymore.

That’s a choice.

#meta rambles #(this all makes me consider the details of post canon reconciliation that plays a part in my fic) #(i had vague ideas already but now) #(my brain is like owo)

[chrisemrysfics]

As stated in the edit of the original post, I extended this into April!

Hello!

I suspect March will be a bit of a tight month for us, so I decided to try to do something about it!

Edit: this is now extended into April as the situation is still a bit tight!

As usual with me, what I do in these cases is to offer the options of receiving a gift from me if you donate via Ko-fi or Paypal.

It isn’t commission, as you can choose to just donate and not ask for anything. However, if you donate, I am willing to do something for you~!

This time, I offer two main types of gifts: writing and divination (cards reading).

If you donate up to 5 Euros, I am willing to do (only) one of those, and if you donate up to 10 Euros, I am willing to do both. These will be short/simple.

Between 10 and 20, I am willing to do one that is a little more long/detailed. Above 20, I am willing to do both and have them a little more long/detailed.

You can, however, donate what you want and pick which gift(s) you want that fits your donation (ex: if you donate 20, you can ask that I do both and have them longer/detailed aka “maximum” I do for this amount, or you can ask for just one gift).

Please note that I use divination for guidance, which can range from “What do I need to know right now?” to a specific question. Simple vs detailed is about how much cards I pull (1-3 for simple, 6+ for detailed). You can see it as offering help via a mean that provides the base for what I end up advising!

As for writings, I will favor receiving requests for MDZS fics as well as DGM fics, simply because they’ll be easier for me to write for. However, I am open to any fandom and writing OCs, it might just take a little longer for me. In general, just ask me what your request is, and I’ll discuss with you if there’s anything I’m uncomfortable with, otherwise I’ll go with it!

Any&all gifts requested will be put on a to-do list that I will go through in order of receiving them, so I will be able to tell you where you place at. However, even if it is your turn, please be patient with me!

To ask for your gift(s), DM me on this blog (chrisemrysfics), or my Twitter here, and let me know the nickname/name you donate under so I can quickly check with what I received!

This donations-for-gifts of mine will remain open through March, if for any reason I choose to close it before the end of March, I will make a post about it and wait a few days so you’re not caught off guard if you were considering donating!

Independently from all of that, you can also look at the original content I share online via my site https://chriscassar.carrd.co/ and choose from what you see whether you want to support me monthly or not via Patreon!

And of course, I will appreciate if you share this post as this helps too~!

Thank you for your time and have a lovely day!

#chrishere

[chrisemrysfics]

I will close this next week, so if you would like to help me and/or get a gift (writing or card reading), please consider donating to help make April start better!

Hello!

I suspect March will be a bit of a tight month for us, so I decided to try to do something about it!

As usual with me, what I do in these cases is to offer the options of receiving a gift from me if you donate via Ko-fi or Paypal.

It isn’t commission, as you can choose to just donate and not ask for anything. However, if you donate, I am willing to do something for you~!

This time, I offer two main types of gifts: writing and divination (cards reading).

If you donate up to 5 Euros, I am willing to do (only) one of those, and if you donate up to 10 Euros, I am willing to do both. These will be short/simple.

Between 10 and 20, I am willing to do one that is a little more long/detailed. Above 20, I am willing to do both and have them a little more long/detailed.

You can, however, donate what you want and pick which gift(s) you want that fits your donation (ex: if you donate 20, you can ask that I do both and have them longer/detailed aka “maximum” I do for this amount, or you can ask for just one gift).

Please note that I use divination for guidance, which can range from “What do I need to know right now?” to a specific question. Simple vs detailed is about how much cards I pull (1-3 for simple, 6+ for detailed). You can see it as offering help via a mean that provides the base for what I end up advising!

As for writings, I will favor receiving requests for MDZS fics as well as DGM fics, simply because they’ll be easier for me to write for. However, I am open to any fandom and writing OCs, it might just take a little longer for me. In general, just ask me what your request is, and I’ll discuss with you if there’s anything I’m uncomfortable with, otherwise I’ll go with it!

Any&all gifts requested will be put on a to-do list that I will go through in order of receiving them, so I will be able to tell you where you place at. However, even if it is your turn, please be patient with me!

To ask for your gift(s), DM me on this blog (chrisemrysfics), or my Twitter here, and let me know the nickname/name you donate under so I can quickly check with what I received!

This donations-for-gifts of mine will remain open through March, if for any reason I choose to close it before the end of March, I will make a post about it and wait a few days so you’re not caught off guard if you were considering donating!

Independently from all of that, you can also look at the original content I share online via my site https://chriscassar.carrd.co/ and choose from what you see whether you want to support me monthly or not via Patreon!

And of course, I will appreciate if you share this post as this helps too~!

Thank you for your time and have a lovely day!

#chrishere

[chrisemrysfics]

Thank you @astellarium for suggesting this topic as something you wanted to see as thank you gift!

The idea was “what tips do you have from your journey as a writer?” and it was very fun to work on this~

You can read this regardless of which space writing occupies in your life, and I hope everyone who read find something they relate to and/or find helpful ♥

Find all that I share at https://chriscassar.carrd.co/ !

#gift story #(technically not a story but) #(that is my tag for gifts done as thank you XD)

[chrisemrysfics]

Hello!

I suspect March will be a bit of a tight month for us, so I decided to try to do something about it!

As usual with me, what I do in these cases is to offer the options of receiving a gift from me if you donate via Ko-fi or Paypal.

It isn’t commission, as you can choose to just donate and not ask for anything. However, if you donate, I am willing to do something for you~!

This time, I offer two main types of gifts: writing and divination (cards reading).

If you donate up to 5 Euros, I am willing to do (only) one of those, and if you donate up to 10 Euros, I am willing to do both. These will be short/simple.

Between 10 and 20, I am willing to do one that is a little more long/detailed. Above 20, I am willing to do both and have them a little more long/detailed.

You can, however, donate what you want and pick which gift(s) you want that fits your donation (ex: if you donate 20, you can ask that I do both and have them longer/detailed aka “maximum” I do for this amount, or you can ask for just one gift).

Please note that I use divination for guidance, which can range from “What do I need to know right now?” to a specific question. Simple vs detailed is about how much cards I pull (1-3 for simple, 6+ for detailed). You can see it as offering help via a mean that provides the base for what I end up advising!

As for writings, I will favor receiving requests for MDZS fics as well as DGM fics, simply because they’ll be easier for me to write for. However, I am open to any fandom and writing OCs, it might just take a little longer for me. In general, just ask me what your request is, and I’ll discuss with you if there’s anything I’m uncomfortable with, otherwise I’ll go with it!

Any&all gifts requested will be put on a to-do list that I will go through in order of receiving them, so I will be able to tell you where you place at. However, even if it is your turn, please be patient with me!

To ask for your gift(s), DM me on this blog (chrisemrysfics), or my Twitter here, and let me know the nickname/name you donate under so I can quickly check with what I received!

This donations-for-gifts of mine will remain open through March, if for any reason I choose to close it before the end of March, I will make a post about it and wait a few days so you’re not caught off guard if you were considering donating!

Independently from all of that, you can also look at the original content I share online via my site https://chriscassar.carrd.co/ and choose from what you see whether you want to support me monthly or not via Patreon!

And of course, I will appreciate if you share this post as this helps too~!

Thank you for your time and have a lovely day!

#chrishere #(this is still open!) #(and still relevant) #(march was indeed a tight month and any help is still very welcomed!)

[chrisemrysfics]

So i decided to repost the original sketches [plus one i thought was appropriate to put with these, since its got a butt i put it under the cut] and delete the cringe original post- since it didn't get any notes anyway- after cleaning them up/adding a block of color behind them [plus me toying with demon wwx's colors] so i hope you enjoy them!! More about the fic under the cut :D

The extra sketch that has a bumbum which is why the read more line. [plus the extra info and all].

Scroll to the bottom for links!

“Clash of Immortals” / COI is an upcoming project I’m super excited about [I might do it before SOTYL cuz its shorter and I rly like this aesthetic] With Demon WWX and Angel LWJ. I use my own version of hell/heaven for this, allowing for lots of fun details and some creatures unique to my universe, including A-Yuan who is a “Garden of Eden” [not drawn yet].

Information i can share!

WWX - Demon type: A black-blue feathered “Captive” or “Fallen” - a type of demon caused by cutting an angel’s ascension short as they are being lifted into the heavens, caused by demons trying to prevent as many new angels from entering heaven as possible. This means originally he was supposed to become an angel, but his line was cut and he was dragged past hell’s gates, causing him to descend instead of ascend once he passed through the gate.

This leaves a nasty scar on his back from the hook used to pull him up [if ascended the hook will disappear harmlessly] and this is why they are also nicknamed "Hook Demons" as they will sometimes even go around with the hook still in their back, just filed down, because they are going through a vital area and can't be fully removed.

Angel LWJ / Lan Wangji - Nearly a white wing, shares a nearly identical wing color to LXC, His is white with minimal jade undertones; he has MANY piercings to compensate his abilities in order to prevent his body from tearing apart. He does however have a unique trait- two of his flight feathers [one on each side] are completely black [I will test this with his design so don't hold me to this]. After his descent heaven is a bit perplexed- they allow this type of movement but LWJ is a very important for heaven’s force of angels, as one of the most powerful.

Fun Facts ;]

When they see each other for the first time as angel/demon they bristle, [in my universe, angels and demons feel wrong when in each other's presence, even if they're very soft and sweet. It'd probably be a good mirror to how LWJ and WWX don't necessarily get along in the actual series when they first meet too.] but then it’s a cheery reunion- LWJ might be somewhat uncomfortable, but WWX tames the sensation more easily as he is nearly unrestrained in power.

Someone comes within 50 feet of A-Yuan and Wei Wuxian sends the person’s heart to their throat just by looking at them despite this being a bad habit he probably shouldn’t use around the "Garden of Eden."*

*original species invented which will be explained better in story, I don't wanna spoil too much

and then we have BED HABITS

WWX is aggressive as all hell with everyone else [in hell anyway bc he doesn't like everyone's attitude] but becomes tame with LWJ, it's like a switch gets flipped. LWJ is the growling demon in bed while WWX is the purring angel, despite their anatomy quite clearly showing otherwise; and let me tell u I love purring demons and growling angels

NO ONE believes him when LWJ says wwx isnt the aggressive one, thinking the demon is tainting their precious second jade despite wwx not having a choice about his demonhood. LWJ be like: we still husbands regardless of who's the more aggressive one anyway. Yes, I’ve just decided we’re married no ceremony required.

bonus: i found a song i really like for it! this playlist tho will eventually grow more :]

You can find my other projects here!

"Ghost of Mine" / GOM is a large-scale fic project that is currently in progress and can be found on Ao3! It updates once every Sunday as of the moment and is currently on Chapter 13 [Ch 14 is released in about 22 hours from now]. GOM is mainly about Ghost WWX, but covers some of the main canonical story too, unveiling things that aren't written in the novel and delve into some interesting things with empathy, inquiry, and lan yuan who can see ghosts. You can find the art for this fic after every chapter in the end notes!

Ghost of Mine - Art master list as of 3/11/23

Chapter 1-9  Chapter 10  Chapter 11   Chapter 12  Chapter 13  Chapter 14 Chapter 15 (releasing SUN at midnight central us time) Chapter 1 Remake art  Chapter 1 Remake art (bonus) Chapter 2 Remake art  Excerpt art (1) Chapter 14 WIPS & SHITPOSTS MXY Concept art WIP

“Son of the Yiling Laozu” / SOTYL is an upcoming project I would like to do where instead of dying for 13 years WWX goes missing with the Wens for 13 years! It will be based on the same headcanons of Ghost of Mine, but with canon-divergence, so it ends up quite different. Reddit post, Tumblr post.

“In My Blood, Stardust Blooms” / IMBSB is a short project that not unlike COI is about the afterlife, but centered on angels this time. It delves into the mysteries of a forbidden land and loss, and of course a particular couple of angel’s love for each other. I have only done one bit of art for this project [LWJ looks the same as he does in COI however] even though I have started writing, which you can find on Reddit here and Tumblr here.

Did you get this far? :0 hello! Thank you for reading it all ♥️ ♥️ ♥️

drawn in drawpile and edited on clip studio paint

Here's all the sketches for COI in order! ♥️ They update on my original COI post [you are here] / each new COI post every time i draw or release something new!

OG POST - Demon WWX & Angel LWJ [you are here].

COI - MXY YLLZ WWX Demon WIP COI - Chibi kisses COI - Cuddles COI - Slumber COI - hugs COI - Hellscape Concept art [ficlet included in this post] COI - Er-Gege COI - Marks COI - Reunion [you are here]

See the Reddit post here

See the Explicit™ COI ficlet here [i can't post this on tumblr, so i posted this on Reddit, sorry!

See the first peek at Ch 1 of COI here!

#promo