cilzy

[cilzy]

Crying (Taylor’s Version)

[cilzy]

It’s really tough, but sometimes you still gotta move forward, even when you’re sad. 

My drawing tablet completely broke a few days before my calendar deadline, coming in after a week of stress with my payments processor, so it hasn’t been the best time for me. But I gotta keep going- working on my calendar the best I can on my iPad, paying extra fees, and setting up the holiday sale. I just have to make it through!

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Webtoon

[cilzy]

Jakarta. Two years ago.

[cilzy]

وَآتَاكُمْ مِنْ كُلِّ مَا سَأَلْتُمُوهُ ۚ وَإِنْ تَعُدُّوا نِعْمَتَ اللَّهِ لَا تُحْصُوهَا ۗ إِنَّ الْإِنْسَانَ لَظَلُومٌ كَفَّارٌ

“And He gave you all that you asked of Him. And if you should count the favour of Allāh, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is most unjust and un grateful”.

Quran 14:34

[cilzy]

A Part of The Journey

I looked at the place where you used to be at, but you were not there that day. I count how many days that we haven't talk for awhile. It's been awhile tho. But, I'm getting used to it.

People say, when they're gone, you will know what someone means to you.

I still remember that day, the first time I went out with you, there were only the two of us. It was in rainy season. We have something to take care of. We rode on your bike. We stopped by to have a Magribh prayer at nearby mosque, then bought our dinner. We were still a stranger that time, I barely didn't know what to talk about with you. Then, the rain fell. And that was, probably, my zing moment of you.

It was a serene night, when we wasted our 2 and a half hours talking deep shits about life. We already knew each other for 2 years probably and what we talked about that night just give me another blue print of how your projection towards some problems in this life. If I took my chance and stepped out of my boundaries, I probably would get my answers about some tinkling question in my mind. But I decided, to not take it. To respect our lines, this line..

I just knew, that this quarter life crisis is a serious thing. I have to admit that, I also felt lost at some moments. I remember, one of his suggestions for me, that I should start to write what I am thinking or feeling, to be honest with my own self- at least. Maybe it could help me found what I am looking for or help me reducing my insomnia.

Your game is actually like entering an arcade of solving puzzle and endless riddle, and if I must added, it's actually exhausting and mind-eater. Not saying what I mean to say, is like putting a big stone within my own chest, it just keep weighing me down, day by day. It's never been easy for me to talk about love. It turns me into a stutter whenever I have to put in words. Life is hard, indeed. Sometimes it clearly feels so hard and tiring, that I become so vulnerable. Things are complicated.

[cilzy]

Thankyou for taking care of me.

Thankyou for putting down your ego and trying to understand me.

Thankyou for guiding me to be a better person, in a way I never accept before.

Thankyou for accepting my flaws and being here through thick and thin.

Let's holding each other's hands today, tomorrow, and the days on.

Let's reaching out our dreams together & make it happen.

Let's have each other's back. No matter what.

May the One blesses our wishes along the way.

[cilzy]

𝘙𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵����𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘭𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘣𝘺

[cilzy]

[cilzy]

[cilzy]

Getting to a point where I started to accept and love myself for who I was took years of nurturing my own self love garden. I used to be incredibly critical of how I looked and who I was, until a decade of drawing about self love finally helped strengthen that muscle in myself. It’s a slow process, but practicing self love is so worth it. We end up as stronger, braver people. 💛

This comic is also featured as July’s postcard which you can receive in the mail by joining the positive postcard or pin club on Patreon by June 30! 🌱

[cilzy]

[cilzy]

terima kasih untuk senyuman dan tatapan hangatmu terima kasih untuk segala usaha untuk membuatku bahagia dan pengingat jikalau aku penting dan kamu akan selalu ada terima kasih untuk setiap tutur kata dan cerita  terima kasih untuk setiap pujian dan perhatian kecil darimu terima kasih karena sudah hadir terima kasih karena engkau yang datang dan menghilangkan risau terima kasih, untuk segala nya yang tak pernah kuminta namun kau beri

[cilzy]

[cilzy]

Jika terus menunggu hingga di penghujung waktu

entah harus berapa lembar almanak lagi yang lepas

hingga koyak oleh penantianmu

Entah harus kujawab bagaimana

jika denyut jantung ini bertanya

tentang rindu yang merajam dalam

sedang dirimu tergantung gelombang;

muncul tenggelam

Kapan kau kembali?

Aku menggigil dalam sunyi

[cilzy]

[cilzy]

هناك أشخاص عندما تلتقي بهم .. تشعر كأنك التقيت بنفسك

There are people when you meet them you feel like you have met yourself.

- Ghada Al-Samman

[cilzy]

Mungkin bener ya, kalo kita tulus sayang sama orang, kita gak akan menuntut apa-apa. Dia bahagia, kita ikut bahagia, meski mungkin kita bukan di dalam skenario bahagia nya dia, tp hati kecil ini mampu untuk turut merasakan kebahagiaannya. Saat dia sedih, kita pun juga bisa merasakan kesedihan nya. Membayangkan bagaimana perasaannya di titik itu dan berdoa barangkali kita bisa membantu menghilangkan rasa sakitnya, walau mungkin keberadaan kita gak akan membantu banyak, karena lagi-lagi, ternyata kita bukan sumber kebahagiaan nya.