climbingbitch

[climbingbitch]

feeling bored i’m gonna dox a fish

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vector of g o c a t

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[climbingbitch]

The game is My Amazing Human Body

CUTE BOY FROM CLASS WHO IS GROWING HIS HAIR OUT AND WEARING A HOODIE: thanks for helping me with my homework! hey um... is it okay if I tell you something important? you have to promise to keep it a secret....

SKELETON BALLING:

#you're welcome :))

[climbingbitch]

REALLY BAD PICKUP LINES. i didn't delete any of them while drafting this. you have been warned

hey are you an outlet,,, bc i wanna stick my plug in you

are you me??? because you're really pretty lmao

are u a clock bc you should put your hands around me

hey are you an alarm clock? because you're really fucking annoying but i still need you in my life

are you coffee because i wanna slurp you

are you a blåhaj because i wanna sleep with you

are u a sandwich bc i wanna bite you

are you linux because you're awesome and you need more support

are you a time loop because you're a time loop because you're a time loop because you're a time loop ...

hey are you this random thing i just learned about because everything is reminding me of you

are you a whiteboard cuz i'm gonna put my ink all over you

are you the uncanny valley because i can't quite describe why i feel the way i do about you

you must be a standing desk because you did not improve my life as much as i thought you would have

they should call you a door hinge the way you scream when i touch you

your dick could be used as a lightning rod

are you an intel cpu because you're hot

call me an organized religion the way i wanna be in your life

[climbingbitch]

yeah anyway as i was saying. i can be trusted around women in suits. trusted to uh uh uh take care of them obviously and uh have like normal activities with them mhm yeah

I am totally normal about and can be trusted around women in suits. No no really it’s true haha—huh? No I’m not blushing my face isn’t hot what are you talking about, you definitely shouldn’t point that out I mean it’s not like I like being embarrassed or anything what would make you think that? Anyway what were you saying I was totally paying attention I wasn’t distracted at all but can you say it again I just couldn’t hear you very well

[climbingbitch]

they should invent a me that feels motivated to do things

[climbingbitch]

happy mother's day!

[climbingbitch]

sending yourself hate mail on anon so you can be witty

surely nobody would ever do that.... no....

[climbingbitch]

call me a butcher the way i beat meat i mean am butch yeah yeah yeah yeah

[climbingbitch]

your honor the defendant is straight up lying about it, and by it, well, let's just say, the murdr

[climbingbitch]

currently stuck in a man's body (i put my penith in him) AMA

[climbingbitch]

[climbingbitch]

beastie boys music is funny as hell one of them will say a line and then the other two will say a completely unrelated line

[climbingbitch]

@official-linguistics-post

Watching my toddler figure out how to language is fascinating. Yesterday we were stumped when he kept insisting there was a “Lego winner” behind his bookshelf - it turned out to be a little Lego trophy cup. Not knowing the word for “trophy”, he’d extrapolated a word for “thing you can win”. And then, just now, he held up his empty milk container and said, “Mummy? It’s not rubbish. It’s allowed to be a bottle.” - meaning, effectively, “I want this. Don’t throw it away.” But to an adult ear, there’s something quite lovely about “it’s allowed to be a bottle,” as if we’re acknowledging that the object is entitled to keep its title even in the absence of the original function.

[climbingbitch]

[climbingbitch]