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Remember when Batman was dead? Good times tbh.

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I hate comic book fans. There’s some new Batman comic where he is like watching over Gotham during a riot and he’s like “I don’t have time for these looters plus all these items are insured and why should I attack people who are mad at this city for the same reasons I am lemme focus on an appropriate target” and the comments are like NOOOOO Batman cares about ALL crime big or small he would fight it all this is out of character !!! Bc to them he’s literally just an omniscient super cop watching over all crime. That’s crazy. The worst and most inaccurate characterization of Batman is the most popular one apparently. He literally marries a thief. Selina invented robbery and fraud. He found his sidekick ripping the tires off the bat mobile like he surrounds himself w looters what’s not clicking

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One day, Clark is bored at work so he messages Bruce saying as much, hoping they could talk for a bit to help pass the time.

What he did not expect was for Bruce to tweet 'ostriches arn't real'.

The office becomes alive with activity. Perry marches over and tells Clark to write an article about how one of the richest men in the world does not believe a bird exists.

The interview?

Clark Kent: "Would you care to elaborate on what you meant about not believing ostriches exist?"

Bruce Wayne: "No."

Others then ask Bruce what his thoughts on other birds are. Penguins? Real. Flamingos? Not real. Pigeons? Some are, some arn't. It depends.

On the upside Clark's afternoon became a whole lot less boring. On the downside there is now a Twitter account called 'BirdsBruceWThinksArntReal'.

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If the batkids had a podcast

Redhood: I was a pretty easy child-

Nightwing: You were.

Redhood: Straight A's and everything. Like, I would be hanging out with Batman- (laugh) I would be- You know right?

Nightwing: Yeah.

Redhood: Just chilling. No patrol day. And he would be like "what do you want to do?" and I would be like- "Read! :D"

Nightwing *chuckles*: "Homework!"

Redhood: "Homework!". And then- And then I fucking died-

Red Robin: WHEZE.

Redhood: I fucking- Don't be a easy child.

Red Robin (chocking): Don't be a good kid.

Redhood: Don't be a good kid. Start- I don't know– Start throwing shit on fire or something.

Next post

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I would like to point out that I was on the bus and someone I’ve worked with actively and see 4-5 times a week for a lengthy amount of time got into the same bus three stops later and walked past me and didn’t say hi because I was wearing glasses and he didn’t recognize me. Sometimes glasses really do just WORK.

I still think it’s hilarious that the reason nobody ever figures out Superman’s secret identity or where he lives or what he does when he’s not saving the planet, is because he already told them all the Kryptonian stuff that can’t be tied to any of his human friends or family. I guarantee you the in-universe wikipedia article on Superman lists his name as Kal-El and the “personal life” section says that he lives full-time at his private fortress of solitude at the north pole. Nobody in the world looks at Clark Kent and thinks “oh my god, maybe he’s superman!” for the same reason nobody ever starts to suspect that their coworker who looks KINDA like Barack Obama is actually secretly Barack Obama – They know who Barack Obama is and know what he does and they know their coworker Greg is Greg and not Barack Obama. They have no reason to assume Barack Obama secretly moonlights as Greg The IT Guy at their workplace even though they’ve never seen Greg and Obama in the same place. At best, “Greg is secretly Obama” would be a running joke at the office, and the same is true at the Daily Planet. “Kal-El of Krypton, who lives in a CRYSTAL PALACE at the NORTH POLE and whose dayjob is SUPERMAN, sometimes puts on a suit and pretends to be a clumsy reporter and lives in a one-bedroom walkup in Metropolis” is a ridiculous concept to anyone who doesn’t already know it’s true

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okay hey its batarangsoundsdumb but batman was the one who trained jason to use guns bc he wanted him to have balanced training and there's an entire gun locker inside the batcave and robin jason couldve just been shooting people the entire time he was just a coward

(someone had to beat some sense into him-)

asjshfhssjk EVIL

ok but also

every criminal in the timeline where jason was already packing heat as a 12 year old traffic light:

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Tom King don’t interact

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New superhero: Crime Man.

He stops crimes exclusively by comitting crimes. He out-crimes the criminals.

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Masterlist of Robin Musings

Brought to you by the twisted mind of @kindaangelic

The posts are linked to each character’s name! Happy perusing! Also be sure to send me any ideas that I may have missed, and I will continue to update this list!

Batfamily and Friends 

Bruce Wayne

Cassandra Cain

Alfred Pennyworth

Barbara Gordon

Duke Thomas

Bette Kane

Batwoman

Catwoman

The Superman Fam

Superman

Lois Lane

Ma and Pa Kent 

Kon El Kent 

Outlaws and Titans

Bart Allen

Bizzaro

Artemis of Bana Mighdall

Roy Harper

Starfire

Wally West 

Raven

Justice League Friends

Wonder Woman

Hal Jordan

Martian Manhunter

Flash - Barry Allen 

Villains

Lex Luthor

Two Face

Clayface

Ras Al Ghul

Harley Quinn

Mr. Freeze

Killer Croc

Scarecrow

Deathstroke

Poison Ivy

Talia Al Ghul 

The Riddler 

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If you’ve only seen Robert Pattinson in Twilight, you genuinely have not seen him act. He is a phenomenal actor and I’m really excited to see his take.

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Store owner - Hello welcome to–

Red Hood, battle worn - Hello there, you don’t have any cheese flavor Snack Bars, do you?

Store owner - Uh w-we don’t…..s-sorry

Red Hood - *looks out window, shakes head*

Arsenal, entering covered in cuts - Do you have skittles and mars bars and *looks at text from Lian* a Hello Kitty pez dispenser with glitter?

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Damien:Can you guys just try to see things from my perspective?!

Tim:*crouches down*

Jason :*gets on one knee*

Damien: I will murder both of you in your sleep!!

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Dick: Suicide is never the answer

Tim: Actually it can be if someone asks 'What is it called when someone kills themselves?'the answer would be suicide.

Dick:...Tim—

Jason:No he's got a point

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Jason: I screwed up big time

Tim: Jason, given your life choices you're going to have to be more specific.

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there is nothing in this fucking world that will ever give me the same kind of serotonin boost as seeing dick call damian "his kid" or "his baby" or "his Robin" in fanfic 🥺

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Jason Todd is the type of person to pull some John wick levels off badassery, then immediately slip and fall on the blood he spilled.