crackedoreooo

[crackedoreooo]

mqn im just tryna take a shit in peace and the goddamn army rolls up smh

[crackedoreooo]

she literally just called me to tell me about car crash statistics

#she also just left my house #called me while im shitting smh #and yes i turned my camera on

[crackedoreooo]

correction: being attracted to boobs seems pointless

boobies feed babies they have a point

tumblr: you have a new follower

ethan: oh it's probably another porn bot *clicks email to see the profile pic*

ethan: oh wow thats a whole-ass man

ethan: *clicks profile*

first thing on profile: *patriotic woman in bikini*

#the point of the boob is also known as the nipple

[crackedoreooo]

tumblr: you have a new follower

ethan: oh it's probably another porn bot *clicks email to see the profile pic*

ethan: oh wow thats a whole-ass man

ethan: *clicks profile*

first thing on profile: *patriotic woman in bikini*

#this would not be a bad thing if i were interested in boob #but boob has no appeal to the ethan #i like women and all boobs are just eh #they seem kinda pointless

[crackedoreooo]

anyone else ever get so excited they bounce?

that was me when the title for this movie faded in

#spirit stallion of the cimarron #this movie is so good and i havent watched in it like half a year #v excited

[crackedoreooo]

"not gonna tell you when but this rain will stop eventually"

[crackedoreooo]

fuck yeah i am so ready for fall

humid as shit but i havent seen the temp dip below 70 in weeks. i absolutely die in the heat

#i thrive in the cold #youll catch me in a tee and shorts when it's 45 out

[crackedoreooo]

dreams do come true

#ethans friends are so cool #crackedoreos-pimp

[crackedoreooo]

i am successfully back on hold lol

ethan: *on call with ucs for half an hour on hold*

ethan every time the hold song changes: 📱🤚😃 (i think they picked up but they never did)

#i got the appointment rescheduled woo

[crackedoreooo]

ethan: *on call with ucs for half an hour on hold*

ethan every time the hold song changes: 📱🤚😃 (i think they picked up but they never did)

[crackedoreooo]

had to remind myself that when youre in a hospital and you dont have to use the handicap stalls in the bathroom you probably shouldnt

#especially when this hospital has like 50 wheelchairs onhand and theyre almost always all being used

[crackedoreooo]

chloe: alexa, are you homophobic?

alexa: i like people of all colors

[crackedoreooo]

cannot believe all ive had to eat all day was a few bites of Chinese when we went to a buffet yet 6 pills filled me up

my appetite is such shit lately

#probably has something to do with the favt that i cant take two pills at a time #and i have to take them with water to swallow them #and even then i struggle #at least my heart palpitations are gone for now uwu

[crackedoreooo]

my dad sent me an mp3 of him playing my (at the time) favorite david bowie song in front of 8 year old me

[crackedoreooo]

my dad sent me an mp3 of him playing my (at the time) favorite david bowie song in front of 8 year old me

#david bowie #do people even still care about david bowie #that guy practically raised me

[crackedoreooo]

oh god he sent me the everyone in piano man is gay tumblr thread

my father literally just discord me saying "senpai noticed me!" and sent a screenshot of a twitter reply from game sack

[crackedoreooo]

my father literally just discord me saying "senpai noticed me!" and sent a screenshot of a twitter reply from game sack

#game sack #guess almost crashing to take a pic of a license plate that said ys man was worth it #i dont understand any of this