cuddlemonsterdean

[cuddlemonsterdean]

#queer things

[cuddlemonsterdean]

i think if we’re going to have conversations about consent we should talk about how consenting to something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to be a good experience, and having a bad experience doesn’t necessarily mean someone violated your consent. this can apply to a lot of situations but the two i’m thinking of right now are sex and transition.

you’re getting it on with someone. you enthusiastically consent to having sex with them. afterward, you feel a little weird about it. maybe even distressed. maybe they did something you didn’t enjoy and in the moment you just didn’t say anything. maybe you just realized after the fact that you were not in a good headspace for sex and now your mental health is declining. that doesn’t inherently mean the person you had sex with violated your consent. sometimes it just means you need to take a break from sex or work on communicating your needs or boundaries better during sex.

and with transition, i feel like this is something that gets consistently overlooked but like. there will never be zero detransitioners. there will always be people who decide that actually transition wasn’t right for them. they could have had the best most thorough doctors in the world who did everything by the book and got full informed consent at every step. and some people are still going to decide they don’t like the changes and wish they hadn’t transitioned. that doesn’t mean that the doctors violated their consent, and that doesn’t mean that transition shouldn’t be available to anyone. it just means that we need to have more resources available for folks who detransition.

regret does not automatically mean someone did something wrong. regret is simply one possible result of having bodily autonomy, and i think we need to get more comfortable with that.

#good words

[cuddlemonsterdean]

Make pride accessible for everyone!!!!

I made a post about this last year and the year before, and thought if I did it this way it gives people and orgs something to work towards. Often people forget that disabled people aren't just wheelchair users, and even those who are, need more than just that ramp!

My first ever pride, not only as a wheelchair but my first ever EVER pride, I went in expecting to feel at home.

Obviously I wasn't, I'm disabled, so why should I?

Instead there was just a ridiculous amount of uneven flooring, a steep ramp to the disabled toilet, no sanitary towel bin in the disabled toilet (???) no allowances to be let out of the festival to fetch things from my car, no where quiet and organisers who seemed genuinely surprised to see a wheelchair user!

My next pride, three years later, I was a seller, and while they had sorted their toilet problem (still no sanitary towel bin???), the hill to get in wouod have been genuinely impossible for me to get to if I hadn't been driving to get my stall in anyway, even with someone pushing me, no quiet areas, plenty of kerbs for me to get stuck at and again, genuine surprise.

Why is it so surprising to consider disabled people might be at pride? Not only do queer disabled people exist, but parents and family of queer kids and people, vendors and even entertainers!

Making pride accessible is crucial!

ID available in Alt Text

#disability tag #pride

[cuddlemonsterdean]

this might be slightly controversial but i really hate how bioessentialism has dug it's claws in trans spaces. we used to prioritize individual identity but now it's like afab and amab are the new mbti. yall put it in your fucking bios

#queer things

[cuddlemonsterdean]

Shout out to all the Black ppl that can no longer participate directly in the fandom they love because of the stresses of racism 👍🏾 you contain multitudes of value and I'm sorry that the color of your skin and the power of your voice makes people not want to acknowledge that.

#fandom problems #racism

[cuddlemonsterdean]

A Twitter Thread from David Bowles:

[Text transcript at the end of the screenshots]

I'll let you in on a secret. I have a doctorate in education, but the field’s basically just a 100 years old. We don’t really know what we’re doing. Our scholarly understanding of how learning happens is like astronomy 2000 years ago.

Most classroom practice is astrology.

Before the late 19th century, no human society had ever attempted to formally educate the entire populace. It was either aristocracy, meritocracy, or a blend. And always male.

We’re still smack-dab in the middle of the largest experiment on children ever done.

Most teachers perpetuate the “banking” model (Freire) used on them by their teachers, who likewise inherited it from theirs, etc.

Thus the elite “Lyceum” style of instruction continues even though it’s ineffectual with most kids.

What’s worse, the key strategies we’ve discovered, driven by cognitive science & child psychology, are quite regularly dismissed by pencil-pushing, test-driven administrators. Much like Trump ignores science, the majority of principals & superintendents I’ve known flout research.

Some definitions:

Banking model --> kids are like piggy banks: empty till you fill them with knowledge that you're the expert in.

Lyceum --> originally Aristotle's school, where the sons of land-owning citizens learned through lectures and research.

Things we (scholars) DO know:

-Homework doesn't really help, especially younger kids.

-Students don't learn a thing from testing. Most teachers don't either (it's supposed to help them tweak instruction, but that rarely happens).

-Spending too much time on weak subjects HURTS.

Do you want kids to learn? Here's something we've discovered: kids learn things that matter to them, either because the knowledge and skills are "cool," or because .... they give the kids tools to liberate themselves and their communities.

Maintaining the status quo? Nope.

Kids are acutely aware of injustice and by nature rebellious against the systems of authority that keep autonomy away from them.

If you're perpetuating those systems, teachers, you've already freaking lost.

They won't be learning much from you. Except what not to become. Sure, you can wear them down. That's what happened to most of you, isn't it? You saw the hideous flaw in the world and wanted to heal it. But year after numbing year, they made you learn their dogma by rote.

And now many of you are breaking the souls of children, too.

For what?

It's all smoke and mirrors. All the carefully crafted objectives, units and exams.

WE. DON'T. KNOW. HOW. PEOPLE. LEARN.

We barely understand the physical mechanisms behind MEMORY. But we DO know kids aren't empty piggy banks. They are BRIMMING with thought.

The last and most disgusting reality? The thing I hear in classroom after freaking classroom?

Education is all about capitalism.

"You need to learn these skills to get a good job." To be a good laborer. To help the wealthy generate more wealth, while you get scraps.

THAT is why modern education is a failure.

Its basic premise is monstrous.

"Why should I learn to read, Dr. Bowles?"

Because reading is magical. It makes life worth living. And being able to read, you can decode the strategies of your oppressors & stop them w/ their own words.

#good words

[cuddlemonsterdean]

I'm the one that gripped you tight and raised you from perdition

#castiel fanart

[cuddlemonsterdean]

Still reeling from the realization that bullet journaling was essentially created to be a disability aid and got legit fuckin gentrified

#disability tag

[cuddlemonsterdean]

I’m dead serious when I say my favorite salmon dean moment is when Sam finds that horrible taxidermy animal with the costume on and holds it up for Dean to look at.

#dean and sam

[cuddlemonsterdean]

in light of your overwhelming support of the weekly spotlight list, i'm hoping for your help again. as other users have done (including the wonderful @tamarrud and @fallahifag, both of whose resources you should absolutely check out), i'm going to be compiling all the vetted campaigns that are shared with me on one post each or every few days. these families desperately need your support and amplification - every donation and share counts.

may 28th:

Rania Ibra, her diabetic husband, and their five children (£6,374/£35,000) - @ranibra

Midwife Renad and her family of seven, three with severe hepatitis A (£5,195/£25,000) - @renadmagid

8-year-old Yusuf, his five siblings, and their parents (Yusuf urgently needs care for kidney failure) (€33,011/€85,000) - @ahmednabubake

Nader Shoshaa and family (€2,735/€120,000) - @nadershoshaa

Iman Eyad and her family of seven (£3,917/£60,000) - @imaneyad

Ruba Abushaban and her family, including her gravely ill father (€17,374/€55,000) - @rubashaban

Omar Sobhi and family (€7,799/€25,000) - @omarsobhi

Ahmd Iyd and his family of eight (£7,551/£150,000) - @ahmd-iyd

Fahed Shehab, his wife Reem, their five children, and the childrens' grandmother (€6,888/€50,000) - @danashehab

Fadi Al-Sharif, his wife, their baby, and eight other family members ($26,916/$62,500) - @fadisharif11

i know link-heavy posts like this can look intimidating, but please don't just scroll past. even the smallest donation or a share that seems insignificant can save a life.

#palestine

[cuddlemonsterdean]

we need to stop equating lack of independence with lack of maturity. people that live with their parents or have a caregiver or don't work or need more support than others aren't inherently immature. there's lots of reasons why people would be in this situation, even outside of disability (plenty of cultures out there expect people to live with their parents past what we consider the beginning of adulthood), and regardless of the reason we deserve support and community through what is already likely to be an isolating experience. don't make it worse for us

#good words

[cuddlemonsterdean]

I'm wishing a very Happy Pride Month to all the queer people who:

are disabled

are chronically ill

can't celebrate for health reasons

disability gets in the way of their gender representation

disability got in the way of a relationship

don't have anyone to celebrate with

have homophobic caretakers

Happy Pride Month to all disabled queer people

#pride #disability tag

[cuddlemonsterdean]

#disability tag #cfs

[cuddlemonsterdean]

this is so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

#pride #😭❤️🏳️‍⚧️🦖

[cuddlemonsterdean]

[Image ID: A person standing in a forest, leaning on two forearm crutches. He has short, curly, split colored hair - left side pink, right side brown - tied into space buns. He's wearing a grey crop top, dark grey pants and black combat boots]

in honor of my anger induced post about dynamic disability, and also my somehow really famous post about disabled people being allowed to have hobbies

this is me after a 3k hike, I really love hiking and am so grateful for my crutches and my family who help me be able to keep doing it, even with chronic hip issues <3

#disability tag

[cuddlemonsterdean]

henry made it home safely with a pinup of klinger in his wallet

#just mash things

part 30

#m*a*s*h

[cuddlemonsterdean]

STAY SAFE!! [ID: the Gilbert Baker pride flag with the words “Happy pride to all those who are unable to celebrate openly and safely. You are loved and seen!” in all-caps black text over it. /end ID]

#pride