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1ofakind
Im one of a kind
But some of the time
I feel the Sun doesnt shine
I need something divine
They say be humble and shine
But things have begun to unwind
True, we all stumble in time
I forget the pain
But the trouble reminds
To the windows of my soul
Im shutting the blinds
Thoughts are racing
They're running incline
Paying my dues
They doubled the fine
I pray that my card
Doesnt decline
Here, joy doesnt reside
My hope has suddenly died
Im sick of this fucking disguise
Im sick of this fucking disguise
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I dont even remember high school that much but i do remember for 99% of it we werent even friends lol. It wasnt until u started buying twix ice cream bars from cvs or 711 when we started to even be cool. Then the whole criminal crew came about. And none of those friendships lasted, At least to you and i.
I dont remember why or how or exactly when but at some point i found u trustworthy enough to tell u things i didnt tell any one else. Not family or ppl ive known my whole life. Im glad that happened cuz i always know of i need to get anytjing off of my chest i can hit u up. We are 27 now and i bet in 30 yrs when we are 57 itll be the same way.
It saddens and pisses me off that you dont have anyone that gives u what u deserve. Including me. Youre literally the only female i know that i 100% trust. Youd think about my feelings and how id react. Youve never done me anything wrong. Youve never stolen from or lied to me. Youve encouraged me when im down. When my aunt died at 1am on 10/30/2010 i called u and u answered. That shit still means everything to me. Everything. When my himebiy died the following year you were there for me too. If i vent you listen and if i fuck up you tell me. Thats the best kind of friend a human csn ask for and i have that. Im so lucky yo.
If i had 3 wishes i swear i would use one so you would never feel sadness or cry again. Youve given others all of you and rarely get that back.
Im sorry i wasnt there for u in 2016. I was depressed and didnt even talk to my own mother. But knowing what you went thru, i csnt even be friwnds w aaron anymore. Im cordial with him but i cant kick it like we used to. Idl the full details nor do they matter. The fact you went thru that alone is heartbreaking for me to know and again khai im sorry as fuck.
I want you, this year, to find happiness and love and joy and peace and smiles and fun and all the shit u deserve. You go so hard for others and you suffer almost on a daily with your internal struggles. I want u to have a great time in 2018-19. Fuck that i want u to have a great life.
Idk if i ever told u this but when i had surgery in 2013 i woke up after it still drugged up, First thing i did was ask for u of all people. Why? Because just the thought of "khai" brings me comfort and peace. Knowing if im in an uncomfortable situation youd be there to encourage me or something. It was instinct. And that says all there needs to be said.
Never feel alone cuz im not physically around alot....basically never lol. But im always on your side and will always have your back.
Never feel useless cuz you have and continue to all these years later help me through the toughest shit ever.
I believe in god and im grateful he allowed us to meet. Im happy youre there for me and i promise i will be a netter friend over all to you. Im there for way more people that do and mean less to me than you do. Thats not right.
J4L
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