danco110

[danco110]

"I'm not nearly as bothered by being outnumbered as I am by their foul stench."

“Well, I can help you with both!”

Upon hearing the booming yet cheerful voice, the two palace guards paused their defense of the gates. Meanwhile, opposite them, the attacking orcs and goblins were less concerned with the humans’ apparent backup, than with taking offense to their offhanded remark.

“Hey, pal!” spat the orcish captain at the head of the loose formation. “Why don’t you try marching the ten miles from camp to here in full gear, then fighting, all while smelling like daisies!”

“Fair…enough…Ah, Modoc!” One of the guards nodded awkwardly, before quickly turning away to greet the approaching loxodon behind her.

“Hey, you two! Got some polearms here for you! Like I said, should help on both accounts you just mentioned.”

Though the attackers again bristled at the mention of odor, albeit indirect, they begrudgingly nodded to Modoc in greeting. Surprisingly, they also waited and allowed him to arm both humans with more suitable weapons.

“Hey, Modoc,” grumbled the leading orc. “We’d be honored to fight against you. Unlike some people, you’ve got some respect.” While saying this, he glared once more at the humans.

“Now, now, we all know how tempers can flare in the heat of battle.”

“Yeah, I guess- Look, are we fighting here or not?”

Modoc looked over his shoulder at the humans. They readied their pikes, and he did the same.

“Looks like it!”

“Finally.” The orc shook his head before gesturing to his forces to continue their charge.

[Is there an in-universe parallel for magic’s turn system? Probably not, but I am curious.]

#mtg #magic the gathering #shandalar #story bites

[danco110]

“Is everyone ready? Okay, let’s go.”

With a signal from their angelic captain, the task force left their cars and started down the street, towards the towering skyscraper on the next block. They drew swords and arc spitters as they drew near, taking up positions on either side of the swinging double doors. The captain herself elected to hover above the squad, and shouted up at the building with a magically amplified voice:

“Mr. Stone! Give yourself up immmediately!”

“Go away, Jillard,” came the booming reply, seemingly from somewhere on the top floor. “I have paperwork to do.”

“You mean to make your workers do! Which brings us to the laundry list: you are under arrest for violation of labor laws, tax evasion, conspiracy to-”

Stone’s yawn earned an outraged growl from Jillard. She motioned down to her team to attack, but none of them moved, much to her frustration.

“What are you waiting for?” Jillard hissed, stopping the voice spell. “Go!”

A squad man shook his head up in response. “Sorry, ma’am, but I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”

“And why not?”

The squad man blinked. “Oh! Right! You just came out of the statue, sorry! See, Mr. Stone is…”

The groan of steel and the rumble of concrete drowned out the squad man’s explanation. Jillard turned towards the building, just in time to see it uproot itself from its foundation. The sprawling basement served as makeshift legs, and it used two connecting skybridges and the smaller, adjacent buildings to steady itself. On the roof of the main building, a stone helmeted face came to life, eyes glowing green as its face formed a condescending smirk.

“Would you care to read out the rest of that list?” Stone grinned.

“Er…maybe later.” Jillard landed on the sidewalk beside her men, and motioned for them to fall back. “I see your point. I’ll bring some more angels next time. And maybe a wrecking ball or two.”

[Imo they missed a golden opportunity to give Titan some flavor text referencing “too big to fail” or something.]

#mtg #magic the gathering #new capenna #story bites

[danco110]

My Muppet Princess Bride drawings found their way to Facebook and from that came a ton of good suggestions for scenes. Rizzo as a R.O.U.S. has been suggested by a lot of different folks for as long as I've been doing these drawings, but I was never quite sure how to handle the scene until a commenter suggested Rizzo's line. Maybe it resonated with me because I can kinda relate to Rizzo in this moment (especially so soon after Valentines Day!). Thanks to Paul Adams who provided Rizzo's line, and gave me permission to use it in this drawing.

And shout-out to movie-screencaps.com for providing the backgrounds, I like to edit shots from the movie for my backgrounds because it allows me to focus on the fun part of drawing Muppets. There's also just something fun about 'painting' the Muppets into the actual film.

#muppets #princess bride

[danco110]

“Miss Reid, was it? I see you’re truly a professional at your craft.”

The arriving cleanup crew marveled aloud at the carnage the archer planeswalker had wrought on her attackers. Vivien herself, however, was much more subdued, standing quietly off to the side as she eyed the arrow-riddled bodies of her would-be assassins.

“I’d much rather hunt regular game,” Vivien sighed wistfully, “but they attacked me.”

“Well, nothing to be done about it now…except to deal with the bodies…?”

The crew leader cleared her throat, and held out her hand expectantly. Vivien became painfully aware of the near-emptiness of her pockets as she stared at the cleaner’s outstretched hand awaiting payment. After an awkward pause, she rummaged through her pack and produced a meager handful of gold coins, each with a lion on its face.

“I know this is a long shot but…do you accept these coins?”

The cleaner narrowed her eyes at the tokens and forcefully shook her head. “Are you trying to pull a fast one on me? No, cash or Halo only!” she hissed angrily.

“No, I thought not,” Vivien sighed in defeat. “See, I was paid with those on another…job. Yes, job…But I haven’t met anyone else yet who accepts them.”

The chief nodded nonchalantly. She then drew a sword from her belt and motioned for the rest of her crew to do the same. “That’s nice. Now, shall we get back to discussing payment?”

Again Vivien sighed, before reluctantly aiming a glowing green arrow at the cleaners. “Yeah,” she muttered, just before firing.

#mtg #magic the gathering #new capenna #story bites

[danco110]

With a furious shout and a frightened neigh, both horse and rider disappeared into the breach. The heat from the flames grew nigh unbearable, prompting them both to cry out again as they plummeted further into oblivion. Then, to their surprise, they heard a noise in response.

“Yeah! The other Skirsdag were right! The fall really is the best part!”

Horse and rider looked over to see a robed cultist falling alongside them. In contrast to the cathar’s panicked expression, this man was clearly enjoying himself, arms spread wide.

“Did you fall in, too!” bellowed the rider, struggling to be heard over the rush of the scorching wind.

“Fall! Pfft! You sound like someone who didn’t see the giant hole in the ground!”

“Well- er- I-”

“I jumped!”

“Y-You’re Skirsdag!”

“Yeah! I just told you a few seconds ago, didn’t I!”

With much struggling, the rider managed to shakily aim his lance in the cultist’s rough direction. “En garde, demon worshipper!”

“Oh, calm down!” shouted the other man, as he deftly knocked the blade aside with a slap to the flat. “We’re in the same boat now, anyhow! And just for the record, I didn’t join up because of the demons! I might’ve said the lines before I jumped, but that was just to sell the act!”

“Then why!”

“Thrill-seeking!”

“Find another…outlet! A more honorable one!”

“Little late for that! Also, honorable! Really!”

“Sure!”

“Honorable like what!”

“Like…ah…uhm…horse…riding…”

“See!”

“I - see - that your ‘thrill-seeking’ just got you killed!”

“Yours too!”

And with that, both the rider and cultist shook their heads. Both parties were convinced they had just won the petty argument, despite the fact that both were still rapidly approaching the same destination.

[So long as you don’t think about it too hard, technically Plunge can kill any creature Maw can!]

#mtg #magic the gathering #innistrad #story bites

[danco110]

"If ufos existed we'd have crystal clear pictures of them, everyone has a smartphone with a quality camera literally in their pocket"

Have you considered that maybe ufos only show themselves to people who leak magic the gathering cards???

#mtg #cackling

[danco110]

“You murdered my beloved, right before my eyes!”

“…That was you, wasn’t it?”

To Syr Ginger’s shock, the fierce huntsman Garruk met her claim not with anger or denial, but with a mere somber nod. The hulking man knelt down, only barely bringing him to Ginger’s eye level, despite the gingerbread knight riding her steed of the same atop a tall wooden table.

“No magic of mine can undo the hurt I’ve caused. Whatever punishment you deem necessary, I will not flinch.”

Garruk bowed his head, waiting nearly a minute for a blow to fall. When none came, he looked up to see Ginger glaring at him.

“This is no trick. I will not-”

“It’s not that.”

“Oh…?”

“When we…met, you were a monster. You and my love locked eyes. You saw him, and without remorse, you still…” Ginger’s breath hitched. “I tried to avenge him. But you survived.”

Garruk listened in silence, only moving to hang his head as Ginger described his deeds.

“I see you are changed now. And now you have remorse. And…I cannot bring myself to kill you in cold blood, not even in his name.”

“Not even to avenge his death?” Garruk’s voice was whisper-quiet.

“No. Now stand up.”

Garruk did as he was told, his mask only able to hide the top half of his guilty expression.

“He was not the only victim of your rampage, correct?”

“He was not.”

“Do you also grieve for the others you killed?”

“Every day.”

“Then you are torn, as I am.”

Garruk narrowed his eyes at Ginger. “As you are?” he echoed.

“I know I am made of dough, not flesh. He and I, we were made for each other, created. What, then, does that mean, for our love for each other?”

“I…do not know.”

“Nor do I. I only know that I was willing to kill for someone I knew for a matter of minutes.*” A pause. “I thank you for taking me seriously, despite my stature. You may go.”

Garruk nodded, but paused before leaving. He gave Ginger one last, unreadable look, then finally departed, leaving the gingerbread knight alone in the dining hall.

[I actually really appreciate that Syr Ginger’s tragedy is taken somewhat seriously, in her trailer anyways. Also, on a related note, if you haven’t already, go watch the Throne of Eldraine trailer! It’s awesome, and it features a cover of a Four Seasons song!]

#mtg #magic the gathering #eldraine #story bites

[danco110]

“There’s the unit now, Mr. Naoyuki.”

“Ah, and our rogue pilot, too! Well, good to see the retrieval protocol works, at least. Good work on that, Hisae.”

The two Imperial mechanics watched as the approaching mech drew near. Once it had crossed the threshold into the workshop, it knelt down, lowering the unconscious kitsune in its arms to the floor with surprising gentleness.

“I knew it had to be someone on the inside, taking our equipment for joyrides,” grumbled Naoyuki. “I guess we finally found out who.”

“Sure. But, what do we do with him now?”

“Well…he got the mech damaged, but not destroyed…”

As if on cue, the mech shifted its weight, turning to reveal a large gash in its metal plating.

“…and it looks fixable. So what do you think?”

Hisae hummed quietly to herself. “Well, like you said, maybe it isn’t that bad. So…I’d hate to see someone get fired over a fixable mistake.”

“Hmph. Well, at any rate, I suppose you’re right. What do you think, Takuma?”

“H-Huh…?” The pilot’s eyes fluttered opened as he gave a groggy groan. He sobered almost immediately, however, once he noticed his fellow mechanics standing over him. “Ah…hey, guys?” he managed weakly.

Naoyuki smirked. “Hello, Takuma. Now, before we get down to business, I should tell you: your racing days are done, at least while you’re working here.”

“Oh, sorry - were we racing?”

While the kitsune’s question earned a stifled laugh from Hisae, Naoyuki was less moved. He continued to stare him down, and was rewarded with a defeated sigh from the red-handed fox.

“Understood, sir.”

“Also, the cost of this repair is coming out of your pay.”

“Ah, Mr. Naoyuki-”

“I’m doing this for your own good, just as much as my livelihood. Judging from the looks of it, I take it you’d rather not…test the mech’s retrieval system again?”

Takuma shook his head vigorously, before wincing in pain from the motion. “No sir. One time was enough.”

“Smart man!”

Again Hisae bit back a laugh.

[Scene: Imperial Retrieval Unit attacks and returns Kitsune Ace from grave to hand - not to field. You need to pay if you want Ace in play again.]

#mtg #magic the gathering #kamigawa #story bites

[danco110]

“…Alta? Are the streets clear yet?”

“Reclaim bodies later, Hkrar! Just stay down there, and wait for me!”

“S-Sorry!”

The kraul hunkered down, tightly clutching a makeshift spear in his claws. Meanwhile, the clamor of battle continued to filter down from the manhole above him, alongside the distinct sound of crumbling stone.

“Hkrar, I- AH! Hkrar! I’m coming down! Get ready!”

Before Hkrar could even respond, a younger gorgon fell down the manhole into the tunnel. The new arrival landed hard, but quickly regained her footing and fired a ray of petrifying magic directly upward. She then backed away just in time to dodge the stony remains of an Eternal falling down after her.

“Collapse it and run!” Alta cried, while nursing a bleeding cut on her shoulder. Hkrar quickly swung his weapon like a club to smash a nearby support and joined her in her retreat. The tunnel imploded, burying several of the cerulean skeletons who had tried to follow.

“Are…are you all right?”

“I’ve been better,” Alta groaned, as she accepted a bandage from Hkrar for her shoulder. “I saw Guildmaster Vraska up there, and I thought she was going to cover me. So I went for a group of them, but then she got distracted!”

“What, a flank or something?”

“No! That previous mark of hers…Balatro, or something? No, wait, Beleren! Er, she was making eyes at him!”

“I thought she hated him?” Hkrar muttered, equally confused.

“You and me both! And after telling me to be ‘pitiless’ and all that! I tell you, that’s the last time I talk all melodramatic like that! Anyways, they both jumped in, finally, just in time for me to get cut off. And…here I am.”

“Here you are,” Hkrar repeated with a chuckle. “I’ll agree with you: seems our Guildmaster has been pretty erratic as of late. Or, well, even more erratic than usual.”

“Right? I thought she’d gotten that Azorius chip off her shoulder since…what, a year ago? But then six months back, she kills Isperia! Long time coming, sure, but was that really the time?”

“Eh, I don’t know. How was she supposed to know that dragon would attack?”

“Hmm…”

[I wonder what the Golgari thought of Vraska during GRN and RNA, while Jace was holding onto her Ixalan memories for her? I feel like there had to have been some differing opinions!]

#mtg #magic the gathering #ravnica #story bites

[danco110]

“Hey! Khaita, right?”

Just as she was leaving the hall, the Gruul ambassador turned around to see who was calling her name. Behind her she saw a fellow pyromancer, clad in red armor lacking any guild symbols.

“Ah, yes,” nodded the shaman, as she extended a hand in greeting. “Hello, Miss Nalaar. I saw you in the audience, and I had a feeling I’d be hearing from you, after the rather…incendiary topic of my presentation today.”

Chandra accepted the handshake with an awkward laugh. “Yeah, incendiary, literally! Heh…Sorry, I just, it’s refreshing to hear from someone who enjoys setting things on fire as much as I do! I’m not usually big on speeches, but yours was all right!”

“I’m flattered. And yes, I too often tire of those who outright vilify fire.”

“I know, right?” Chandra groaned. “Now, granted, even after training under Jaya, I could still probably do with a little more…ah…”

“Discretion in picking your targets, perhaps?” Khaita suggested with a smile.

“Er, yeah, that. Sounds like you speak from experience.”

“More than you know.”

Chandra gave another laugh, much more relaxed than the last. “Again, sorry, I’m just so excited to meet another pyromancer. I feel like a novice again, just learning how to channel mana.”

“Ah, nothing to be ashamed of. As you might know, channeling mana is my specialty.”

“Oh, really?”

“…Yes. In fact, it was the main topic of my presentation today.”

“Oh…oh.”

Khaita resisted the urge to smirk at Chandra’s embarrassed expression. “Not to worry, Miss Nalaar. My duties as ambassador introduce me to people much less receptive than you.”

“Really?” Chandra asked skeptically.

“I promise. Less receptive, and less amicable too…to pyromancers like us, anyways.”

[I could be wrong, but I feel like, besides maybe Jaya, Chandra doesn’t really interact with many other pyromancers?]

#mtg #magic the gathering #ravnica #story bites

[danco110]

“Nice and easy, set him down.”

The few passengers remaining onboard the stalled train, those who hadn’t fled or fallen victim to the Cecani twins’ undead, had hurried to the front of the train to gawk at the destroyed bridge. There, sprawled out in the sand, they had found an injured and exhausted Kellan, abandoned by the rest of his gang. The first of the passengers arrived just in time to watch consciousness leave him, and the golden threads of light dissipate in his hands while still tied to the front of the train.

“I think he stopped the train,” murmured one of the passengers, as he assessed Kellen’s condition.

“He saved us?”

“Ah…he’s hurt! But, who is he?”

“He’s with me!”

Sitting atop Fortune, Annie Flash rode into view outside the train car window, only to startle in surprise at the small armory’s worth of weapons the passengers were aiming in her direction.

“If you wanna get to him,” spat one of the passengers, from behind her thunder rifle, “you gotta go through me.”

“And me.”

“Me, too!”

Annie slowly raised her hands before using one to point to Kellan. “Huh? Oh, sorry! I mean him no harm. I just know some first aid, and I can take him on Fortune, here.”

“Oh.” The passengers quickly lowered their weapons, the general sentiment among them equal parts relief and, surprisingly, disappointment. “Sorry, we just thought, maybe someone was after him.”

Annie bit back a laugh as the passengers helped her ease Kellan into the saddle behind her. “Sorry to disappoint. You’ll have to live out your power fantasy some other day. But trust me, it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

“Hah! You always wanted to stand up to bandits, too?”

“Stand up to them…not quite. But close, I guess. Anyway, time’s a-wastin. I’ll get the kid what he needs!”

And with that, Annie was off, making sure Kellan was leaning forward into her back. She grimaced as she rode, chasing after the rest of the posse.

“Kinda wish a certain someone’d came for him. Least it would’ve meant he cared enough to.”

[Flavor win: Annie Flash’s ability can recur both Kellan the Kid and Mystical Tether!]

#mtg #magic the gathering #thunder junction #story bites

[danco110]

“Now, are you sure you want me on lookout duty?”

Bonny Pall restlessly hefted a massive axe over her shoulder while addressing the human lumberjacks at her feet. The other loggers quickly voiced their assent, having to shout to be heard due to their relatively minuscule stature.

“Uh, yep!” chimed one of the loggers, as she attacked a bramble-wreathed thicket. “Just keep keepin an eye out for sandwurms up there!”

“…Are you sure you’re sure? No need to be polite, we’re all pretty salt-of-the-earth, here. And I don’t mind doin the grunt work.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble! You’re helpin us out way more right there!”

“Is it because I might step on you? Cause I’ll be careful. And anyone can fend off sandwurms. Even Beau here can do it!” Bonny chuckled as she pointed over her shoulder with her free hand, to the massive blue ox standing patiently behind her. “C’mon, lemme help.”

A second human logger blanched at Bonny’s claim. “‘Anyone’? You sure you ain’t mixin that up there?”

“Sure I’m sure. Sandwurms are almost completely harmless, unless you get right up on their nests. Otherwise they only ever eat stuff that’s way smaller than…Oh, right.”

Bonny craned her neck down, just in time to see one of the loggers turn away to hide a smirk. She grimaced, and nodded before again turning her attention to the horizon.

“I’ll…keep watch.”

“We promise, we’re grateful! And we’re pretty sure this is the way to do it!”

“Yeah, you’re probably right…?”

As if on cue, Bonny spotted a billowing trail of dust in the distance, fast approaching the loggers’ clearing. When the dust trail drew near, and the ground began to tremble, Bonny brought her axe down to shake the ground with tremendous force. A massive sandwurm burst from the earth, hissing and writhing as it fled, realizing she was no easy meal.

“See? You’re helpin!”

“I guess,” Bonny sighed, as she wistfully eyed the steadily shrinking thicket.

#mtg #magic the gathering #thunder junction #story bites

[danco110]

“…You really wanna write a story about me?”

“Film one, technically, but yes!”

“Even after I…y’know?”

Nashi bit back a laugh. “Knocked me into next week, both literally and figuratively? Still yes, Miss Obeka.”

“Well that’s, uh…” The time mage trailed off, her usual bravado failing her briefly, though she quickly recovered with a condescending sneer. “Ugh, fine, whatever.”

Nashi chuckled, choosing not to comment on Obeka’s slip. “Are you sure? If you’re uncomfortable being on-camera, I can find another-”

“I’m perfectly comfortable…But are you? I hit you pretty hard, back then and there. And I don’t get a lot of repeat customers after I beat them once. You don’t have…brain damage or nothing?”

“I’m fine. Better than fine, actually! That magic of yours is impressive! Gives me a few ideas for my own storytelling spells - slow motion, timelapses, and such…Ah, sorry, I’m rambling. We can get into specifics later.”

“Slow motion, huh? Or, uh…Hmph. Sounds more useful than the spells you tried on me the first time we met, at least.” Obeka quickly folded her arms, earning another stifled chuckle from Nashi, much to her chagrin. “Got something to say, punk?”

“You don’t have to pretend about any of that. I’ve hung out with polite Reckoners and rude Imperials; I really don’t care one way or the other.”

“Whatever.”

“…Although, you may be onto something there; the serious look might resonate better with the audience.”

“You think? Or…uh…ah, whatever.” Finally, Obeka abandoned her facade in favor of a begrudging smile. “You think?”

“I sure do!” Nashi nodded. “And I’d love to get your story and find out for sure…Er, just so long as you don’t do the ‘time punch’ thing on me again.”

“Hah! No promises, but I’ll try.”

“I appreciate your honesty!”

#mtg #magic the gathering #thunder junction #story bites

[danco110]

“Heh, how was your class, Teferi?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Teferi burst through the door and promptly collapsed into an empty chair. The break room was otherwise empty, save for a pyromancer in familiar red armor leaning against the wall. As Teferi calmed down, he turned his attention to Chandra, who seemed to be smugly waiting for him to speak.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Are you sure?” Chandra laughed. “I thought you wanted to be a teacher.”

“I thought so, too. But…there’s this one student of mine who is completely incorrigible!”

“Sounds like someone I’d like!”

“You have no idea,” Teferi chuckled sarcastically. “A young prodigy by the name of Obeka. Her understanding of time magic is incredible, but she insists on only using it to beat people up!”

“…Again, sounds like someone I’d like.”

“Distractions in class, back-talking, the list goes on!”

Chandra began to repeat herself once more, but paused to slightly change her statement: “Sounds like you should like her, too?”

“Should I?” Teferi sighed breathlessly.

“Sure. Aren’t you always talking about how, when you were studying at…Tolaria! You were pulling pranks and stuff on…ah, what was his name?”

“Barrin…oh no.”

“What? What’s wrong?”

Teferi collapsed even further into his chair. Before Chandra could hurry over to assist, he waved her off with a tired hand.

“I’m turning into Headmaster Barrin.” Teferi’s voice was trembling, and quieter than ever before. “Thank you for warning me, Chandra.”

“Uh, sure. But, I don’t feel like I’ve really done anything.”

“Oh, you have. From now on, Obeka will be free to cause distractions in class…though I’ll still need to ask her to stop assaulting the other students.”

“Oh…good?”

“Yes, Chandra,” Teferi laughed, “that’s a good thing!”

#mtg #magic the gathering #shandalar #story bites

[danco110]

“…Damnable Slickshot charlatans.”

“Oh, you’re just mad ya ain’t gettin any cash off us!”

Baron Bertram Greywater turned to give a scowl to the pair of rodeo performers in his office doorway. The humans were unfazed by his bared fangs, and met his ire with a pair of satisfied smirks.

“Yeah, we’re stayin independent,” chuckled one of the pyromancers. “How do ya like them apples?”

Bertram scoffed at the mages. “‘Independent,’ as in, independently torching the town?”

“Independently entertainin the people! Ain’t like there’s much else of that goin on round here…heh, apart from your…rodeo clowns?”

“You mean my loyal deputies?”

“Let’s call em, ‘hired goons,’ like they actually are,” chuckled one of the pyromancers. “And yeah, I mean them. Apart from us, seems like the only other thing to gawk at in these parts, is seein your ‘muscle’ fumble for their guns like they never used their super speed before!”

Bertram gave a strained laugh, partly to mask his growing ire. “I’ll have you know, my deputies are hand-picked, from only the most upstanding-”

“Hey, you smell somethin?” One performer snorted to the other. As the pyromancers laughed, Bertram could only glare daggers in response, thoroughly caught lying as he was.

[Bertram is mad because Pyromancers just plain add the mana. If they made treasure tokens, his ability could trigger to make the vampire rogue token.]

#mtg #magic the gathering #thunder junction #story bites

[danco110]

“What a horse…”

“Say that again. Wish I had a steed like that’n. Lucky feller, that elemental ridin it.”

“Sure, but what’s with the…glowin bits? And the metal bits? Ain’t sure I could ride, with all that.”

“Oh, don’t say you ain’t still jealous!”

“…Yeahhh…”

The gathered ranch hands all voiced their envy for the rider sitting atop Calamity’s blazing saddle. In their complaining, they failed to notice the wrangler of steel and fire creeping up behind them until they heard their voice, reminiscent of a crackling fire:

“Howdy, fellas!” came the sing-song greeting. The hands all startled and whipped around at the sudden sound, but rather than react to the new arrival’s fiery visage with fear, they met it with mere irritation and reluctant greetings.

“Aw, hey, Brand. Don’t mind us. We’re just lamentin the fact that we could probably never afford a ride like Calamity there.”

“Not to mention actually bein able to ride im!” chuckled a second hand, under her breath. “All steel and fire like that!”

“Well…yeah. Calamity’s a fine steed,” Brand sighed. “But I wouldn’t go turnin green about it. See, he was just a regular horse, til I got hold of im.”

“What do ya mean?”

“Well…remember when I turned into lookin like this?” Brand pointed down to the criss-cross pattern of fiery cracks dancing across their torso.

“Oh yeah, those latest bandits and/or conmen…Phyrexians! Yeah, you were on a tear for a hot minute after drinking their snake oil! But, yeah, I remember…?”

“Well, shortly after that, back when I was still doin ‘discretions’? I jumped from the second floor of a bank, onto Calamity’s back for the getaway. And right then he started lookin like me, as you might tell?”

“Yeah…yeah, I see the resemblance now,” muttered one of the hands, as he looked back and forth between Brand and Calamity. “Well, I’d say you did im a favor!”

Brand shrugged, though their ember-wreathed face was surely forming a grin. “I don’t think Calamity cared or cares, one way or the other!”

[Shoutout to @izzet-league-mad-scientist for likening the Hellspurs’ aesthetics to Furnace Phyrexians!]

#mtg #magic the gathering #thunder junction #story bites

[danco110]

“He would’ve wanted me to have- ACK!”

The enterprising goblin reached out to relieve the skeletal remains of his former crewmate of its treasure. His looting was interrupted, however, when one of the corpse’s bony arms suddenly reached out to seize him by the neck.

“H-Help!” The goblin’s panicked choking alerted his fellow living pirate, who quickly severed the offending limb with one deft swipe of her cutlass. The goblin scurried back with a shining necklace in hand, earning an eyeless stare from the undead.

“I-I always liked you!” cried the goblin weakly.

The skeleton paused its struggling upon hearing its former crewmate’s panicked cries. Ignoring the other pirate’s blade now stabbing uselessly against its bones, it reached down for its severed arm and reattached it with a series of unsettling clicks. Finally the other buccaneer broke off her assault, unnerved by her sword doing no damage but still fairly confident in her numbers advantage.

“Stay down, mate,” growled the human pirate. “Wouldn’t want a…repeat accident.”

The skeleton’s jaw clattered as it freed itself from the spike pinning it to the ground. Behind it, several other bony undead clawed their way free from similar traps, and all stared down their living counterparts.

“Er…parley?” squeaked the goblin. “Oh, please don’t eat us alive!”

Again the lead skeleton froze. It shook its head before pointing to the necklace in the goblin’s trembling hands.

“Oh…you just want the treasure! I see!”

The skeleton nodded.

“Well…you’ll never get it!” bellowed the human pirate, her confidence restored now that she realized the imminent violence was only concerning treasure. She raised her sword, only to be met by the undead doing the same. The lead skeleton pointed its cutlass at the pair, prompting its fellows to charge.

[“That’s disgusting! We just want the hat back!”]

#mtg #magic the gathering #ixalan #story bites