dandyandiepeterson

[dandyandiepeterson]

– TELL ME WHEN DO WE TRY, OR SHOULD WE SAY GOODBYE?

( heartbreaker, dionne warwick )

•••

xii. eerie town atmosphere as the demogorgon approaches

•••

“kyle?”

emerging from andie’s lips in an instinctual burst, the syllable floated along the breeze to land upon the library’s front lawn. it sat like a boulder, unable to be upturned; unable to be taken back.

curiosity swarmed. it surged through the small shopping hub, striking empty sidewalks with a bolt of intrigue. was it sheer coincidence that brought the teens together again? or was it fate? the world continued to drop andie by kyle’s side—or, at least, in an adjacent parking lot.

legs had taken her to her destination almost against her will. she stood as a statue on the plush grass. heels sinking into the earth, andie’s strong stance promised to leave a reminder of herself on the terrain. the nearby ash trees had never seemed so green.

sunbeams emerged from behind andie, illuminating around her to cause a visible aura. drenched in amber hues, she had fallen prey to the earth’s natural spotlight. yet, she had no audience. kyle remained unphased despite the shadow eclipsing his frame.

“hey, kyle,” andie clasped her hands in front her waist, as not to look too expectant. perhaps, in the process, her wringing wrists had shrunken her too small. she was still invisible. another flip of the page accented the stagnant air between the pair.

persistent, as she always was, andie felt motivated to speak again, “hey, how are you?”

she hadn’t walked an entire block to be ignored. destiny had laid its law. kyle had to have been sent to her to help her assuage her feelings of defeat. he had done it before when she was facing her deepest urges of desperation. he was sure to do it again. andie refused to cheat an inevitability.

soft brown eyes hinting with a sort of jade that mocked the surrounding shrubs from sprouting fell upon her. their apathy said more than kyle ever could. instantaneously, she had been taken aback.

“what?” the question dripped with disdain. it pierced andie painfully, working to make her grimace, but, instead, she lapped it up with eagerness.

“h-how are you?” the well-spoken blonde seethed internally at her unnatural stutter. what was it about kyle that caused her to grow into the most embarrassing version of herself? absentmindedly, the digits of her opposing hand worked to break apart the thin threads of skin at the base of her nails.

raising the novel within his grasp, andie grew unsure whether this was his response or if he had just been adjusting from his cross-legged position. gothic font that spelled “heart of darkness” stared back at her menacingly until she convinced herself she could sink within their inky glaze. andie and kyle were very different—it was partly why andie had grown so attracted to her peer, but required, “indispensable” high school reads had become their common ground.

“heart of darkness,” andie echoed. a talking point. a shared experience. while it wasn’t the shared experience that ate away at her, it was certainly an appropriate springboard for what could transform into a meaningful conversation. if not, she feared her own heart would grow dim.

“me too… i mean,” habits of stammering engulfed her. andie looked to clarify, “i don’t have it here with me, right now, it’s at my house, my bedroom, actually, but i’m trying to get ahead on all the pages martinez assigned.” shades of rose dimpled at the center of her profile, looking to disperse itself across her fair features.

“it’s a struggle,” she added, two hands breaking from where they had been tightly bound. palms exposed, she looked as if she were to release magic from her fingertips. her lips, too, parted to release a breathless laugh. “something about conrad’s flow and stylistic choices just—”

“can i help you?”

“what?” andie’s tongue moved before her brain could compute kyle’s derision. muscles grew rigid in her back and neck. they were having a conversation. weren’t they?

“do you need to know how to spell my last name for the lab report? it’s walcott, two t’s—”

“two t’s,” a melodic voice harmonized with the gravelly one. packs of cigarettes had looked to dispel the remaining characteristics of kyle’s boyishness. most notably, his adenoidal speech had been replaced with a sultry vocal fry. andie looked to not distract herself with this realization and rather focus on his statements. “i know,” she continued, “it’ll be done by monday.”

kyle nodded briefly, allowing his black waves to dip below his hairline and dangle over his forehead. baited, andie restrained herself from reaching out to brush the locks away. closeness was what she had been vying for. it was what brought her to the library’s grounds. once again, the worn paperback rose to guard kyle’s face. barriers, physical and otherwise, were what she had earned instead.

rising slightly on her toes, andie attempted to peer over the pages shading kyle’s line of vision. she was reading her own classic, or, at least, trying to. a mere glance had the power to change it all. he previously looked at her as if she were the sun. it warmed her more than a football field’s floodlights. it burned brighter than a million vigil candles ever could. all the suffering that had been building within her begged him to do it again.

kyle could feel andie’s watchfulness. uncomfortable, his own slits were uncovered as he lowered conrad’s work to his lap. to andie’s dismay, they hadn’t been filled with steam. they were now twin lakes, frozen solid with dangers lying beneath.

“… something else?” he prompted.

something else?

where was andie to start. should she mention the missing girl? the guilt that grew unruly as she harbored her own secret? the dead little boy? this week had tried to bury her. other than her previous night with maeve, she had remained restless, constantly tormented by her deepest horrors. without the reprieve, andie wondered if she would have been settled in her own plot of sod come dawn.

it wasn’t just something. it was everything.

“yes.” her severity threatened to raise goosebumps on kyle’s denim concealed arms. he sat up straighter, sporting a furrowed brow. the brick pillar against his back allowed him to keep at a perfect, ninety-degree angle.

a huff that started deep within andie’s chest pushed outward. she couldn’t launch this on kyle. no one deserved to endure the wreckage that would emerge as she dropped her bombs. no one she desired to impress, anyway.

“i mean, no. but, technically, yes. i just—”

“if you haven’t noticed, i’m kind of busy right now,” kyle lifted “heart of darkness” from where it lay and waggled the stack of papers. the loosely bound sheets were seconds away from growing victim to the stirring air. captain marlow needed to prepare to sail into a new type of storm. “so, unless you have something important to say, which is doubtful, i’d appreciate it if you could just… go.”

dumbfounded, andie remained still. kyle returned to his novel with condescending flair. feelings of self-deprecation and humiliation flared. for the second time in forty-eight hours, she was willing to bear her soul to someone she thought deserved it; someone she wanted to deserve it. kyle’s absolute disregard felt like a dagger to the chest. she wanted to collapse.

andie shook her head back and forth in a notion of disbelief. the gentle swaying of her ponytail threatened to grow hypnotic although kyle had grown too distracted with himself to fall under its spell. andie wondered how someone could see her pain, even recognize her sorrow, and declare themselves more important. time was being wasted— but it wasn’t kyle’s. it was andie’s.

unturning her roots, andie chose caution; she chose peace. prepared to walk away from kyle for what she expected to be the final time, she let maeve’s mantra drive her in the opposite direction.

you deserve someone who will come to you when they know you’re upset. you should be with someone who doesn’t want to stop talking to you.

she had been fooled twice—any further and she’d need to bear her own shame.

against her better judgement, andie slowed her pace. if this was going to be her final bow, she deserved necessary closure. a fleeting sensation of bravery compelled her to speak.

“why did you kiss me?”

a yard of turf separated the dangerous duo yet andie’s curiosity could be perceived. it infused with her tone, flavoring her inquiry with the sweetness of genuine interest. fingertips dug themselves into the bony edges of her hip as her hands found a place to rest on her body. her life had been defined by questions that knew no answers. one, simple resolution could save her.

“excuse me?” kyle glanced towards the figure in the distance. if andie emulated confidence, kyle embodied confusion. his blank stare had been the first time he actively engaged andie all evening.

“why did you kiss me? at the assembly.” unwavering, she continued, “and why do you keep ignoring it?”

frowning, kyle pressed the pages of his distraction together. it wasn’t long before he found another one in the form of a slim, eggshell rod. “i seriously have no idea what you’re talking about,” he lit the stalk and soon, the repulsion on his chin was replaced with a fuming cigarette. its sickening aroma wafted towards the brazen blonde, drawing her further into his arena.

“you kissed me,” andie was adamant. how had such a defining moment in her life be diminished to a supposed lie? kyle’s pompous attitude made her wish she had skewed the truth.

“i don’t think i did.”

“you kissed me on the football field! you kissed me!” crows sprung from their nests at the declaration. it reverberated around the square, bouncing off parked cars and empty storefronts. she may had been lured back into kyle’s vicinity, but she spoke as if he were trying to reach him on the other side of town.

so much for choosing peace.

andie wiped her hand over her creased forehead, unsure at what point her rolling boil spilled over. calm and cool was never in her repertoire. why did she expect to face this type of investigation like a robot? trying to compose herself as best as possible, she raised her jaw to the clouds that had begun to swirl overhead, “it was my first kiss and i wanted it to be special and now… now i just feel upset and confused and i—”

“wait,” fragments of a smirk tickled along the sides of kyle’s narrow mouth. its presence made andie’s cheeks grow an offensive hue of red. a flurry of smoke blew itself in the girl’s direction before kyle finished his sentence, “i was your first kiss?”

vulnerability had never been kyle’s strong suit. he remained guarded no matter the circumstance. this newfound, subtle sensitivity surprised andie as she attempted to analyze his response.

“yes,” andie vowed to look unphased. she was merely answering what she had been asked.

with a shrug, kyle flicked the growing stack of powdery residue from the end of his quickly shortening stick. a final puff was drawn before tossing the now useless item towards a space of unoccupied sidewalk. all the while, his devilish gleam remained, “congrats.”

maeve was wrong. kyle wasn’t just aloof. kyle was an asshole.

“why are you acting like this?” disappointment blanketed andie’s expressions; both verbal and otherwise. fury was the only force keeping her tears in her chest.

“acting like what?”

“like i don’t matter? like you don’t care?”

“because i don’t.”

three words. out of all the three-word phrases in the world, andie feared this one the most.

it was a sin to be disinclined to exertion. it was another disservice to be strongly uncooperative. but, cruelty in the name of pride was never to be forgiven—and this essence lived in kyle.

“you aren’t the center of the universe, andie. most people don’t even notice you.”

andie remained painfully motionless. she let his speech pluck at her flesh until it was free from the bone. soon, the vultures would come to feast on the slivers of dignity slumping off her empty carcass.

“maybe i kissed you, maybe i didn’t, i don’t remember,” kyle crouched to a stand. space couldn’t compensate for the feeling of pure domination the boy had over the girl. “sometimes i just do stupid shit. it doesn’t always matter.”

“it didn’t matter to you?”

wry laughter grew determined to blow andie over, “do i have to spell it out for you? jesus, i thought you were the valedictorian.”

“i am,” andie asserted. others could strip her of her confidence, her independence, her very name, but the sole trait she would always protect, and hold, was her intelligence. no one could ever take that away from her. “so, you kissed me because—”

“oh my god, don’t you get it?!” shock beat on the walls of andie’s soul, her mouth drooping open slightly. kyle was speaking without restraint. she took a step back to give the teen and his frustration a stage to command. “i don’t care, andie. i could care less about your feelings, your heart, your… whatever you thought it was. i made a mistake. end of story.”

gravity took control, pulling the warm pools in andie’s eyes to ripple down her face. droplets fell with haste, but she refused to wipe them away. they weren’t a token of her heartbreak. they represented the disappointment in herself. what more could she have become if she hadn’t spent the peak of her youth lusting over a monster?

fate hadn’t laid its hand. it laid a trap. the world didn’t want andie with kyle. the world brought them together, on the lawn, to realize they had to be better by themselves.

jaw clenched, andie turned away from kyle. he didn’t deserve to think that she was crying for him.

“i should’ve known this would turn you full-psycho. you were already crazy to begin with.”

the jab worked as a match, letting embers collect in andie’s heart. all notions of misery fizzled like water on a hot stove.

she was crazy? for what?

for her ambition? for her drive? or for having emotion? for caring about the miserable world she had been thrown into? for wanting to listen to others? for sharing? was she crazy for working hard? for having a dream? for wanting to be open? for allowing herself to feel all the pain of every tragedy she had been forced to endure? for pining for someone to love her so she didn’t always have to love herself?

kyle was crazy to think she was crazy. he may had been born without the urge to love but andie had more warmth in her than she could bare. she had been burned by her own flames to keep him comfortable. not anymore. her wildfire remained ablaze, though not to give him heat, but shrink him to ash.

ponytail whipping against her cheek, andie’s attention pierced kyle with the same lethal poison that he spat at her. her gaze held the strongest shade of emerald, the type that ignited new life after the passing of wintry days.

“what did you just call me?”

“i answered all your questions. can you please just leave me alone?” scooping his book from where it lay in the grass, kyle intended to return to what he had been interrupted from. if he searched for stillness, his grave mistake was scorching the smartest girl in town. long seconds of heaviness weighed themselves on the whispering wind. soon, just like kyle, they were struck from their perch.

“you are selfish,” this wasn’t an opinion. it was fact; a hypothesis proven by andie’s experimentation. a decade long study had come to an end. all she needed to do was present her conclusion.

“what?”

“i said, you’re selfish,” repeating herself with assurance, andie let years of misspent devotion shackle themselves to her speech. there was no mistaking her claim. she was done playing pauper to a self-proclaimed prince. unlike snow white, a single kiss had done more than awaken her. it enlightened her. “you are selfish and rude and you don’t care about anyone but yourself.”

short, stable sentences mirrored her strong posture, “everyone told me that you were just some self-absorbed jerk. i didn’t want to believe them. i wanted to see the good in you. i tried to see the good in you.”

kyle’s line of sight jumped from andie to his hands and then the ground. he kept at this routine like an experienced gymnast. the blonde may have been focused but he was unsure where to place his. scorn was foreign to him—especially when it emerged from his most dutiful of servants, “i spent hours writing term papers, putting your name on them, despite your lack of effort, to secure you your grades. i’ve covered for you every time you and your stoner friends chose to smoke instead of go to class. i’ve done so much for you, without you even knowing, and you can’t even find it within yourself to give me some common decency?”

approaching kyle with ease, andie felt as if she were stripping herself from a coat she had grown too large for. in many ways, she had outgrown this balancing act. “i have idolized you for years, convinced myself that you were just this person whose appreciation i would just have to earn. but, i don’t want that any more. i don’t want anything from you,” sharp fangs disguised as verbal contempt skewered into kyle. venom seeped with the intent to poison; prey outsmarting a predator. andie shook her head, “you are mean and miserable and i just hope that one day you realize that your lack of care is only hurting yourself.”

although she had said all that she needed to say, something glued andie to the soddy plane. was she waiting for applause?

staring at kyle, she felt larger. newfound power filled in the empty pockets of her pants, her sweater, the small gap where her toes met her shoe. she felt different; she felt stronger and new. her competitor could not say the same.

there was no need for the lanky boy to verbalize his disbelief. expression blanched; it was obvious that he would refuse to admit to what had happened. for the first time in kyle’s life, someone was unafraid to be honest with him. he expected this fateful time to come but not so soon, and not from the ever-so-faithful. swallowing a small breath, he allowed for the incoming humidity to sanitize his internal scars.

a blink of an eye allowed for kyle to center himself. jean-clad arms crossed over a protruding chest. the pose looked to suppress any form of overcompensation, both physical and otherwise. one foot in front of the next, he worked slowly to reduce the space between him and the buzzing blonde. within a moment, kyle had recovered, leaving andie with no time to evaluate how.

“are you done? are you finished?” cracks on the surface of kyle’s icy exterior had allowed for the birth of a glacial ocean. heat radiating from andie’s cheeks hoped to keep her from growing victim to kyle’s dangers. unfortunately, the inferno seemed to further melt the platform on which she stood, “are you ready to torture someone else with your nonsense?”

scoffing in the opposite direction, andie discredited the unnecessary, rhetorical retort. anything her opponent had to say was out of his own agony. she had already won this fight. the curtain had come down. there was nothing kyle could do to declare his own victory.

“what about the new girl, maeve?”

one name allowed for an encore: an introduction to an exciting second act. the usually delicate title sounded outlandish, like an obscenity on a playground. balling her fists, the soft-u shape of andie’s nails dug themselves into the fleshy center of her palm. as they drove themselves deeper, so did kyle’s taunt.

“she’s gotta be sick of you. everyone else is. i give her two days before she realizes that the reason you have no friends is because you are an obsessive, unhinged freak.”

worn sneakers crushed themselves atop innocent blades of green. kyle stalked forward with the sole purpose of destroying whatever was in his path. andie was right, he rarely cared. he was nonchalant. he was unsympathetic. he was insensitive and would die that way just as long as he could retain his dignity. it had been stripped from him, rightfully so, but he swore to earn it back. losing wasn’t an option. he would walk away from this library with his belongings. he wasn’t letting andrea peterson leave with a piece of himself.

“unless,” kyle stared down at andie, mere inches setting them apart. if he moved any closer, andie’s jade-stained eyes threatened to wrap thick vines of ivy around his throat. “unless she’s a freak like you.”

retracting her talons, andie released her anger. “go to hell!” too upset to restrain herself, her hand drew back before she quickly flung it towards kyle’s face with intended strength. the harsh crack of skin reverberated like a sonic boom, breaking the sound barrier. bystanders looked to question whether they had stumbled upon deliverance of an atom bomb. vibrations of pain began in her palm, traveling upward to numb her fingertips. stripes of vermilion punctuated the area where she had made contact, a similar color hinting on the side of kyle’s face. almost instantly, a mark began to form, branding the young boy as if he were a modern-day hester prynee.

“oh my god, you hit me!” whimpers shook from kyle as he stumbled backward, tripping over invisible obstacles. both of his fists flew to cover his new symbol of shame. pathetic wails continued to emerge while he scrambled to regain his stability. his styled-black hair had grown mussed, frazzled like his nerves. andie had never seen something so pitiful.

“you’re damn right i did!” a shaky exhale did not discredit andie’s sentiment. although she could barely believe her outburst, she couldn’t regret her action. maeve standish was her best friend—the kindest soul she had ever met. despite having met a week prior, maeve had sacrificed so much of her sanity to provide andie with the comfort she needed to survive. she was selfless and too good for this terrible town. andie could endure the slaughter of her own name but never that of someone who had grown to mean so much to her.

shocks of tension spread throughout her hand as she spread her fingers apart. as she pulled her digits back towards the midline, she winced, flapping her wrist ahead of her face. the subtle ache pained her far more than losing whatever respect she had for her lab partner. ignoring kyle’s constant whines, andie flexed her joint to supplement relief: “god, why is your face so hard?!”

the sky had grown dark in the time andie had spent humoring kyle. lacy, white-edged clouds transformed themselves into a menacing ballet, scurrying across a molten silver sky. rain would soon come to drench the earth in darkness; to clean the lawn for a new battle. thunderstorms never pleased andie, but now, one came to ask an eternal question: what downpour have you inflicted?

kyle had tried to drown her. he intended to take down whatever was in his path, be it a crooked branch or the roof that had kept him dry. his droplets were deafening yet andie had grown accustomed to its rhythm. she let the water soak her perspective instead of wash away what looked to be rotten. if it hadn’t been for a bolt of lightning, she would have still been stuck waiting for the sun.

maybe she couldn’t pull the sun from its hideaway, but she could carry away whoever had become stuck in her cyclone. she could pull the clouds away, release her own truth, her own light just enough to cause a purple sky to announce a new dawn. and maybe, if she stopped her rain, she could stop the guilt from flooding her heart?

several people had fallen victim to her hurricane, especially in the last seven days, but a single, unfortunate individual had set himself in the eye long ago. he stood aware of what was occurring but not understanding why it had begun. andie had deceived him, allowing the rain to conjure a webbed pattern on his skin. he had grown trapped and needed rescue. andie couldn’t continue to devastate like kyle. she had to stop herself. springing from her spot, andie darted across the road towards the parking lot where she began her journey. her butter-yellow volkswagen roared to life as the keys slid into the ignition and, with haste, sped off into the swarming storm.

visions of townhomes and dimmed porchlights slicked past her window as she drove through the only neighborhood she had ever know. determined to beat the droplets that would eventually fall from above, her foot pressed firmly against the gas pedal. three left turns and two traffic lights would take her to where she needed to be. after the first two turns, townhomes transformed into two-story colonial homes. porchlights grew more concentrated, spotlighting her way. she rarely ventured within this part of hawkins and almost questioned if she had confused her directions.

a crimson ferrari let andie know that she had, indeed, arrived at 9225 hickory street. there was only one boy in town who had been so lucky to be gifted the italian sportscar on his sixteenth birthday. she pulled her economy vehicle into the driveway, parking next to the flashy automobile with caution. as andie cut the engine, she mused on how it was almost unnatural to see the two models mingle.

exiting her car, andie let the monstrous fixture before her shadow her outline. from what she knew, loch nora was the wealthiest development in hawkins. it was where she lived; she knew its reputation. now, she knew she was mistaken. the lakeshire complex put loch nora to shame. houses doubling the size of her own lined the manicured streets. even better, she had somehow found herself on the greens of the most impressive of them all.

crafted in a dark-grey tone, the detailed exterior exuded opulence. a chimney rose from the charcoal slanted roof while a balcony jutted to overlook the enormous backyard. six porcelain-colored windowpanes allowed as much sun as possible to streak into the house to create a light-filled oasis. white pickets comprised of a fence to surround the sprawling grounds. a tiny gate made from the same wooden material allowed for a break in the shape. andie took her time stepping through the entryway to emerge on to a brick path that led to the door. strangely, she felt like dorothy, approaching her own emerald city. beautiful shrubbery accented the direct channel until there was no room left between the earth and the abode. it was a wonder why anyone with this much money decided to settle in such a humble, midwestern town.

courage was the only force driving andie to continue with her impromptu decision. she had to act before it disappeared. sucking in a deep breath, she rapped her knuckles against the towering, ebony door. before she could listen to the voice inside her head telling her to run, a figure much taller than her own emerged upon her senses.

“andie?” brett li held the front door open in one hand while the other remained on his waist. his black hair had abandoned whatever style it had intended to keep for the day but still fell into place like a perfect line of dominoes. even in something as casual as a gym shirt and basketball shorts, he emanated charm. like the stunning ferrari, andie was cautious not to get too close.

“do you have a second?” expectant, andie hope she hadn’t stumbled upon a private moment. a fraction of a smile pulled at the corner of her lips to lighten what could otherwise be interpreted as a tense interaction.

“uh, yeah—of course, yes,” stepping aside to allow andie focus on a sprawling staircase, brett worked to obscure his astonishment. a plum painted sky decorated with sooty, compact visions looked to capture his attention. “do you wanna come in?” cool was a default that he aimed to protect even in the privacy of his own home.

“oh, thanks,” andie took her cue and passed the threshold to further inspect the interior of the li residence. she had heard tall tales of the family’s fortune, mainly from morgan who had spent a few months of freshman year dating brett, but remained unprepared at assessing the beauty of the estate. large, but not in a way that felt unnatural, the area allowed for andie to breathe comfortably. she would need to take in as much air if she were to actually carry out her intended course of action.

“are your parents home?” unsure of where to go, andie stood in the foyer to wait for further instruction. a mere misstep would have left her lost for days. after closing the door behind her, brett strode into a connecting room on the right, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

“uh, no. just me for the night,” a plush tweed sofa in the middle of the room served as his landing strip. even with his back turned to the girl, andie felt as welcomed as she could in the vast living space. there was a consistent, unexpected warmth that overcame her whenever she was around the star basketball player. he was popular but not in a way that made him feel untouchable. unattainable, perhaps, but she never expected anything more from him than spirited rivalry. at this point, she only hoped that her actions wouldn’t extinguish his temperate glow. brett fumbled with a remote, lowering the volume on the mindless film that had been chosen to serve as his soundtrack, “what—why are you here? is everything okay?” upon his inquisition, brett’s peered over his shoulder, a presence of worry sinking within his gaze.

“yeah! everything’s fine. i was just in the neighborhood…”andie looped around towards the front of the couch, brett’s eyes following her as if she were her own path. where she led, he seemed desperate to know. “thought i’d stop by and see how you were doing.”

glancing at the open space on the couch, andie looked to brett for permission to fill the vacancy. everything within the walls of this space seemed sacred under the golden hues of the fluorescent bulbs. even brett, with all his comforting charisma, dangled in front of her nose like forbidden fruit.

a single nod from the teen allowed andie to perch herself upon the cushions. she tucked her fingers beneath her thighs, not allowing herself to get too comfortable out of fear that she’d soon be asked to leave. no good ruler could stand a traitor in their home. execution or escape were the two roads she expected to greet.

“i can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

that hadn’t been a lie. she couldn’t. just within the past week, she had experienced all types of loss. the loss of a friend, the loss of a classmate, the loss of a love; yet, she had never lost a piece of herself. while her intentions grew from selfishness, andie never looked to hurt brett. she was only looking to help herself. recent events, concluding with the current look of defeat on brett’s face, made it increasingly obvious that her actions had left a nasty scar.

“that’s…” brett broke his silent connection with the blonde, staring down at his palms as if they held the answer to a question he had never asked. breath broke through his parted lips in the form of an exasperated huff. if she hadn’t been examining the boy’s side profile, andie would’ve mistaken the noise for a laugh. perhaps humor was the only remedy to this type of pain.

“you’re the first person.”

“the first person to what?”

the first person to fool him? the first person to steal his crown? the first person to make him doubt his ability? the roles continued to write themselves like a cast-list that andie prayed her name would be kept off of.

“the first person who’s asked if i’m alright,” looking back up to the girl at his side, the cocky jock that andie had come to know had disappeared. what remained on the opposite side of the couch was a vulnerable young boy.

“what? really?” disbelief seasoned her speech. its taste worked to eliminate the sour sting of regret. “i doubt that.”

brett li had a grasp on allure that movie characters would envy. he wasn’t a caricature but a staple of what every teenager looked to be: popular, accepted, normal. if no one looked to care for brett in his time of need, andie feared who would choose to wait on her.

“all anyone asks if i’ll still be playing basketball this season. they don’t really care otherwise,” a tense, self-deprecating smile spread itself along his taut mouth. irony in its purest form: he was anything but happy.

andie felt foolish to tell him that she cared. regardless of truth, claiming that she did would be a contradiction of her own. how could a virus care for its host? by all known laws of science, it was impossible. but andrea peterson was capable of impossible things.

the muted television pressed against a far wall continued to chaperone the conversation; actors on the screen watching over the teenagers to ensure they behaved appropriately. dim, blue light intermingled with the continuing glow from nearby lightbulbs. silence had rarely been a positive for andie but it was what brett needed. the least she could do was give him one thing he sought after.

long seconds lingered. bodily heaviness exerted itself on brett’s spine as he remained with his elbows atop his shins. his chin perched itself in his hands but was soon released to allow for his palms to run over his distraught expression: “i don’t know why i did it.”

“you don’t have to explain yourself,” sympathy released itself in a single phrase. brett was the victim; he didn’t need to state his case for a jury. andie had come to confess her own sins, not drive them out from others.

“i mean, i do basketball to keep a solid reputation. debate so my parents can brag about me. tutoring, other club, volunteering so i look good for college. my academics were something i did for myself, you know?” brett could not sustain his avoidance of visual contact. he lifted his face to fall into the fresh wands of grass that housed themselves in andie’s stare. springtime spoke of all things newborn as they watched each other with intent.

“it’s great to tell everyone you’ve got a perfect gpa but—but i also felt like every grade i made was a way for me to tell myself that i’m more than what everyone wants me to be. i had proof that i was smart, that i can make my own decisions,” a detached sigh joined the breeze emitted from the circulating blades of the ceiling fan. “i kept up with school because it made me happy. it was the only thing i was really doing for myself.”

as brett let his walls fall, andie felt an army swarm within her. soldiers stacked bricks to keep her from becoming exposed. was it truly within her good intention to reveal something that would further drown a struggling diver? she felt cold, unsure if the standing lamps would be able to thaw her frozen limbs.

“i got scared. there was just so much going on and i thought that if i couldn’t get an a, i’d be failing myself. proving to the world that i am what they make me, not what i want to be,” sentences became strained. emotion had become as compelling as truth. there had been a cost in burying such pain within his bones rather than expressing it freely. loneliness began to seep from brett’s soul, “i’ve never done that before and, obviously, i’ll never do it again.”

two tears came as if his hurt had at last condensed into a trickling of rain. brett was unrecognizable, a mere fragment of the overconfident athlete that splattered new colors upon the hawkins high school hallways. out of everything that had happened to her this week, andie swore this evening had become the most unexpected.

“shit, i’m sorry. that was… sorry for just… telling you all of that.” brett brushed his hand across his cheek in an attempt to eliminate the wetness from his face before andie could take notice. unfortunately, the image of a conquered king had seared itself into her mind. such a striking depiction would be hard to erase from her memory. “fuck.”

a severe snore emerged upon the chamber. brett shook his head side to side as if the movement would eliminate any remaining sadness that looked to hang on to his strong jawline, “i just—it’s just…” a reddish-tinged nose pointed itself in andie’s direction. spotlight returned from brett’s fixed gaze to drench her in a coat of glimmering chrome.

“sometimes i think you’re the only other person in this town who gets it.”

the worst part was that andie knew that she did. she understood what it was like to put all your worth into something as trivial as a letter etched upon the front page of an exam. her devotion to academic success was what had placed her in this situation. her necessity of scholastic success put them both in this position.

she got it. she absolutely, undeniably, tortuously got it.

as excruciating as it had become, andie couldn’t look away. she couldn’t move, she couldn’t react, and she certainly couldn’t fulfill the duty that brought her to the li house. although she had convinced herself that she was ready to admit to her mistakes, she hadn’t considered if brett was ready to receive such a severe attack on his faith. good intentions could only remain good if they were to uplift others. andie knew that revealing herself in the wake of this despair would further shovel dirt atop a man who had been buried alive.

an actress in her own right, just as the ones on the screen that illuminated both she and brett, andie would remain on mute… at least, for now.

“i…” andie swallowed whatever bits of a confession remained coated on her lips. peach-tinted lip-gloss would be the only substance to remain. “i do. i get it.”

“i’m just…” untucking her hands from where they rest, she rubbed them over her denim-clad thighs. the roughness of the material against her skin grounded her, allowing her to maintain a level head as she waded through the unexplored depths the ever-intriguing sea of brett li. “i’m so sorry.”

“it’s not your fault.”

shame swung the doors of andie’s conscience off its hinges. it had planted itself in the midpoint of her garden and immediately grew roots. vitality shriveled upon itself, guilt twisting around its frame. whether or not it had been a necessity, the pain stole whatever sunlight shone upon its leaves. when the spark of life finally died, so did a piece of andie’s humanity. four bullets had been taken from the newly barren landscape to be used as nails in her coffin.

“you know, as shitty as it is, i’m glad to know that you’re the new valedictorian,” brett spoke with a sincerity that adhered to her like a thick layer of sugar. pointed and honest, his rapt attention said enough. trust and faith anchored him while they continued to allow andie to unravel. “i wouldn’t have wanted to give the title to anyone else. you deserve it more than anyone.”

peering into the situation from an obscured window, andie knew she seemed deserving. ambitious, diligent, and utterly driven, no one could deny her intelligence. they didn’t know she was too smart for her own good. her brilliance had birthed her shame. she kept her secrets in locked closets, hidden away in boxes that had grown colonies of dust. outsiders would never guess to observe from a new perspective.

she wished that brett was more of a cliché. for once, she wanted him to fulfill the role of entitled pretty-boy; the role he was born to play.

“brett…”

“seriously.”

“you don’t have to say that,” andie stroked the outside of her arm. the light hairs resisted her motion, hoping to stand erect as her body had remained overtaken by a chill. for years, she told herself she didn’t need validation. praise had long vanished when her peers realized that genius was her default. justification from the most popular boy in school that she was, in some way, admired and capable allowed her heartbeat to quicken in pace.

“i know. that’s why i did,” a sliver of a half-smile muddled his sentiment. as quickly as he had crumbled, brett had rebuilt his eternal charm. “i mean it.”

“thank you,” mirroring the fragments of appreciation upon her face, she had released a whisper of a response. it emerged as if she were trying to converse in a foreign language. to accept a compliment while avoiding indictment felt like a mortal sin.

resigned to keeping her confession to herself, andie used the conversational lull to consider what she could express. she could cause a distraction. she could commit herself towards being aphonic. she could grant brett grace and leave him be or she could speak a segment of the truth. perhaps, if she couldn’t divert the storm, she could be the sunlight.

“you should still be proud of yourself. you’ve accomplished so much,” integrity flowered from the most sensitive parts of herself. she used her strength to allow the kindness to maintain its bloom, “at every game, you’re the best player on the court, i don’t think you’ve lost a single debate… you’re the only other person in that school who gave me any sort of competition.”

“yeah?” brett leaned forward, causing the cushions to dimple beneath him. his expression lifted. it was the brightest he looked all evening.

“yeah,” conviction. it was easy to be confident when you were devoted to being honest. “just because you’re not the valedictorian any more doesn’t mean you’re not the smartest person i’ve ever met.”

twisting his head to break his quiet connection with the blonde, brett looked to conceal the small rises at the side of his mouth. he wasn’t successful. his smirk brought out a glimmer of innocent fun that released andie. it transformed him from someone elusive to someone andie wished she knew better.

he turned back to meet andie right where he had left her, “you’re just saying that so i stop acting like a wimp.”

“no,” quick and firm, andie refused to waste any time entertaining brett’s self-pity. “i’m saying it because i mean it.”

smiles reflected towards each other as the pair cherished their moment of content. rain had begun to patter against the house’s roof but, for all brett could tell, he was basking in the warmth of summer. a newly radiant sun had stepped forward from the springtime of her life to wrap him in her golden rays.

conversation from the abandoned television caught andie’s attention. a young actress with yellow ringlets swung around her scene partner, flitting from both sides of the room, desperate to maintain his attention. the opposing actor was stuck, unable to follow the young girl down her ever-changing path. he agreed to stay attached in his seat and watch as the girl continued with her dramatic routine. andie knew nothing of the plot but felt deeply represented.

unable to achieve what she had set out to accomplish, andie knew she would have to admit defeat. there had been weakness in her posture and brett’s vulnerability had stuck her achille’s heel. perhaps another day would come when bravery would ebb and flow, eventually sweep over her—a day where she’d promise to swim instead of sink. what brett needed was to enjoy the company of himself, not that of a traitor. the least she could do, in her own, omniscient way, was give the teen the peace he may have unknowingly desired.

lifting slightly off from the couch, andie was immediately drawn back to the spongy pads that continued to hold her shape. brett’s voice was the cause for her descent back to earth.

“can i ask you a favor?”

andie attempted to disguise her abrupt motion as a way to grow more comfortable on the sofa. shifting her weight on soft furnishing, she raised her eyebrows to the middle of her forehead. a curious “hmm?” departed onto the living room, working to dispel any intention she had on leaving. dim lighting made it possible for her flushed cheeks to be hidden within the surrounding shadows.

“it’s just, i have a problem,” brett’s commanding presence mellowed. defenses had fallen, a set of sincere eyes remaining. his steady look held the warmth of polished caramel that allowed for nostalgic memories of hearth-sipped hot cocoa to rush upon andie’s frazzled nerves. in all of her deceit, she was unsure if she could endure another round of brett’s outward sorrow.

andie spoke gently, “brett, we don’t have to talk about it any mo—"

“a calculus problem.”

a notebook that had once occupied space on the living room coffee table had somehow found itself atop brett’s lap. flipped so that its pages were exposed, andie moved closer get a better look. boyish handwriting had scribbled numbers across the paper’s lined surface. to the general public, the figures would’ve likely been mistaken for egyptian hieroglyphics.

andie felt relieved yet tickled by the proposition. “are you asking for my help?” she peeked up at brett through her eyelashes, her focus drifting back to his undeniable magnetism. another unexpected response. andie wondered if she ever truly knew the accomplished athlete.

“what can i say? this whole situation has humbled me.” he leaned back in his spot, one of his toned arms looking to drape across the back arch of his seat. his openness allowed andie to scoot closer although, she could argue, his smirk had been what drew her in. distance between pair had vanished. what remained were two classmates, snuggled up to conquer an analytic quest.

andie’s line of sight jumped across the planes of the loose-leaf sheet, “this chapter is pretty rough, i’ll give you that.” newton had created his own language from arithmetic values. students were required to work tirelessly to digest its nuances. always enticed by a cerebral challenge, andie drove herself into the density of derivatives until she could teach it herself; until she was fluent. having the privilege to prove her ability made all her practice seem worth it.

the answer came easily. how were complex mathematics easier than telling the truth? “may i?” andie shifted her vision towards the pencil that had somehow found itself tucked behind brett’s ear. after realizing her imposition, he shuttled it from its location towards her outstretched palm.

andie wasted no time adding her notes in the free margins. her looping letters looked unnatural against the random strokes of lead that brett had engraved. she’d never understand how certain individuals could maintain such brilliance with personal disorganization. neatness was a partial explanation for her acute precision.

brett watched as andie wrote her solution. eventually, his eyes drifted from the paper to study the girl’s profile. sculpted eyebrows had settled beneath where they had usually been situated, causing a crease to form on the bridge of her nose. he followed the sloping trail down to where her porcelain skin came to a rounded peak and, even further, to the partial dip that segmented her glossed upper lip. corners of her typically talkative mouth had adopted a slight curvature to affix her with what seemed to be unwavering compassion. her fair complexion had not yet recovered from when it had been blanketed in a scarlet wave, remnants of a flush tinging on the apples of her cheeks. deep in thought, andie would never know how brett mused on her natural grace.

“just a silly mistake. you forgot the two,” glancing up from her work, she returned her pencil to its rightful owner. confidence drove andie to adorn a half-smirk. she was right. she didn’t need a solutions manual to confirm her suspicions.

“you think i’m silly?” brett squinted as if it would somehow allow him to read every issue of the blonde. sporting a sly smile of his own, he assumed the proper position for light banter.

“i said your mistake was, not you.”

“you don’t think i’m funny?”

“i think you’re very funny. especially when you forget how to add.”

“oh yeah?” brett leaned into andie’s aura, the scent of her saccharine body spray caressing his senses. she was somehow able to exude a specific form of enchantment despite her inexperience with romance.

“mmhm,” andie nodded tersely as if she had just presented a known fact. lemony waves bounced behind her head as her ponytail began to rhythmically bob. the stress of the day had stripped her of her sparkle but not so much that she lost her urge to engage in spirted repartee with a former “rival”. this was the basketball player who obstructed her view of the chalkboard with his brawny frame, the boy who’d shuffle her notecards before a big debate. this was classic brett li: arrogant, smug, flirtatious but, above all, charming. he clearly hadn’t lost his shine.

“i thought you just said i was your only competition?” faux confusion masked brett’s speech.

“you were.”

“so, do you also have a hard time with addition?”

“i think i’m having a harder time getting you to focus,” andie rolled her eyes with a type of affection that wives reserved for their unabashed husbands. she enjoyed being on the receiving end of brett’s lighthearted remarks. for as long as she lived, she’d keep the secret for her own, but it was an indistinct pleasure she wished would remain.

“you know, i think you’re probably gonna need more than one session with me. you’re gonna need a whole different tutor, actually,” shrugging one of her shoulders to meet her ear, a look of tame concern overtook her delicate features. “might i suggest mrs. johnson?”

“mrs. johnson?” partially unsure whether this was a continuation of their pleasantries, brett tried to erase any notion of his confusion. his dark brows knitted together to form a rigid stripe.

“yeah, she teaches first grade mathematics down at hawkins elementary,” amused by her own retort, andie’s bright look emerged before brett could. proving herself a worthy competitor to the charismatic athlete was her ultimate form of gratification. unfortunately, this hadn’t been the first time she knocked the small town’s golden boy from his perch.

“oh, shut up!” good-humored, brett could always appreciate a smart quip, even if it were directed towards him. andie had led him into a perfect, witty trap. she deserved some sort of acclaim. a hearty laugh echoed through the halls, mingling with the girl’s outburst of merriment. the sounds combined to form a gorgeous symphony.

“you asked for it! you walked right into that one!”

lost in their moment of gaiety, brett’s decline in composure allowed for his flimsy school supplies to be displaced from his ownership and go tumbling to the floor. the book and pencil landed on a jewel-toned rug, interrupting its exotic woven pattern.

“oh, sorry,” andie apologized.

“no, i’m sorry,” brett dropped to his knees and andie followed, scrambling to collect the items before they would inevitably disappear into the curious abyss beneath the couch. no matter how clean the li residence was, andie was unsure of any possession that could escape the sprawling trenches below the living room staple.

brett claimed the bound stack of pages while andie tightened her grip on the stray writing utensil. breathless chuckles that had lingered from their cheerful moment were released like murmurs. raising their heads simultaneously, the two emerged on more than just the sight of one another.

daylight seemed to break. brett and andie had spent sixteen years in the same town, sixteen years in the presence of each other, and yet, they both felt as if they were experiencing something for the very first time.

andie wondered what shifted from the time she ducked her head to the moment she fell into brett’s tender stare. fast movements had misplaced the sticky pink makeup that traced and filled the outline of her lips. the product smudged at the side of her mouth in a way that was entirely unintentional.

taking notice, brett intended to shake himself from his stupor. “you have a little… let me just…” his left hand reached forward, making contact with the only area on andie’s face that spoke of imperfection. brushing lightly, the pad of his thumb lingered even after he fulfilled his assistance.

the simple swipe of a digit sent a jolt of electricity down towards andie’s toes. she had been under brett’s gaze before. she spent hours admiring his every angle, studying his quirks as she convinced herself it was a way to catch him fumble. why was this time different? why did this time feel as if she were inventing something?

brett’s hand remained cradling andie’s cheek. residual warmth reignited what andie hoped had gone extinct. bravery drove brett to wander upon the forest of greens in andie’s wide eyes. there were flecks of hope, the kind of green that only existed when summer sprouted. andrea peterson was the sun; brett swore he’d rather go blind than take his sights off of what sat ahead of him.

heat rose into andie’s chest as brett’s lips drew closer to her own. he had grown enthralling, magnetic beyond reason. hesitating as they inched toward each other, brett finalized the tentative deed; sealing their union and, ultimately, his fate.

adrenaline rushed. it clouded any sense of andie’s judgement. she gave into brett instinctively, eyelids falling as she parted her lips. she felt his pressing like an artist’s brush against a canvas: intense, smooth but, ultimately, contained. his taste silenced every thought that rushed through her skull.

brett li was kissing her. brett li, who dated half the cheerleading squad, let his hands drift to her neck, drawing a calming shape where her pulse beat fast. brett li, the king of the basketball court, let her touch his face, graze her fingertips across his sharp jaw to ensure her that he was impossibly real. brett li, high school hunk, was kissing her. he picked her when she thought she’d been hollowed out, a soiled product in the weeds of an orchard. he adored her as if he were savoring the sweetness of earth’s gifts.

brett li. brett li. brett li.

never in her wildest dreams; she had never allowed herself to dream.

just as he had started, so brett ended. he withdrew languidly with a force that worked against all laws of gravity. nature would have kept him attached for centuries. he had to execute his own free-will. andie remained with her eyes shut, her swollen mouth divided into an upper and lower half. eyelashes, long and black, were heaven’s whips against her complexion. dreams couldn’t last forever but she was willing to try.

taking cue from her favorite fairytales, andie released herself back into reality. this kiss was different from the one she shared a few days earlier. prince charming had abandoned his throne to take a seat at her altar. he abandoned his crown but was every definition of gorgeous that andie could begin to recount. blinking nervously, he anticipated language to strike her. she doubted it ever would.

he was exactly the prince she had been hoping for… in the worst possible way.

unable to become verbal, her thoughts surged. awe turned to shock; hope to fear. the greatest kiss of her life and it should have never happened. it could have never happened. it would have never happened if she hadn’t been so spineless.

this wasn’t part of the plan.

oh, god. this wasn’t part of the plan!

this hadn’t been what she had come to do. her downpour had erupted into a lethal deluge.

“i have to go,” words slipped from her reaches. they plunged off the deep end, into the ocean of guilt of that grew deeper and wider, swallowing up the den. the once spacious area caved in. wobbly calves utilized whatever remaining energy to engage in a fight-or-flight response. a woozy andie stood.

“wait… wai—wait…” gears shifted in brett’s head as his initial route had been abandoned. he had to find a new path or, at least, understand the one andie began traveling down. following andie’s trajectory, he picked himself up from the floor.

“i’m sorry. i just… i forgot… i have this thing that i promised i would do with my mom…” she knew stammering would get her nowhere but prayed it would take her through his front door. any longer in this house and she swore her natural disaster would tear shingles from the roof.

she never meant to hurt brett. the only way to disinfect his wounds was to remove the poison. unfortunately, that meant removing herself.

“andie, i’m sorry. i promise, i didn’t mean to—" desperation rose with each syllable brett spoke. it stomped its heel on the broken glass of andie’s heart.

“… it’s about my grandma’s cat and we have… there’s this movie my dad wanted me to see and this… this thing… at the library…”

“andie, please. just stay. it’s not—we can forget—"

“no, it’s fine!” the teens had moved to the foyer: andie willingly while brett involuntarily.

“can’t we just talk about… i mean, that’s—” overlapping phrases made it difficult for either of the two to make their intentions be heard. each had a mission they refused to abort.

throwing the front door open, andie met an environment that embodied her current turmoil. evening hues were fluid steel, swirling in steady and radiating ripples. in the most literal sense, brett had, once again, been subject to bear inclement weather.

a nearby coat-rack showcased a variety of colorful garments. raincoats decorated a similar fixture at the front of the peterson household, a refuge for sailors sending their ships into aquatic battle. unconsciously, andie grabbed a navy green jacket, draping the heavy, woolen article across her shoulders. its unusual weight was eased by a familiar scent of sandalwood and cinnamon. with a million new concerns, she had briefly forgotten her place. she continued to ramble: “it’s just… i have to…”

“that’s my—you can still—”

recognition electrified andie like a high-voltage shock. she let brett’s varsity jacket trickle off her frame and puddle onto the floor. had she been more alert, she would have never dared to glance at the holy artifact.

without a fraction of sense, andie stepped out into the rain. greys of every shade and depth constricted around her. drops as large as cartoon tears fell like rocks, pelting her as if she were a witch on trial. she became soaked in a matter of seconds, her legs moving faster than her mind.

“andie! your keys! your car!” brett’s voice echoed from the porch as andie began to sprint with purpose.

“don’t need it!” onlookers would assume the young girl had begun training for the olympics. feet splashed harshly into small baths that had accumulated on the pavement. mud erupted from the earth, splattering brown goo upon everything in sight. rain drenched her until she wished she could throw her ego in the dryer.

andie had no idea where she was going. meters and minutes were ambiguous. she ran until her lungs ached, her muscles trembling from strain and frigid conditions. soles had felt the gravel as she soared past neighboring homes, past flickering streetlights, past lonely park benches. they gained their own rhythm, her thoughts becoming lyrics. andie played her song for an audience of one who would never be satisfied. with all her shame, she could never be satisfied.

pausing at the end of the road, she held her futile hands skyward to fend off the worst. all the oxygen on the planet could not bring her back to life; the water could never cleanse her of her crime that clung to her like glue. the world had been cast in somber tones and she was at the center.

in trying to throw her storm off course, andie had stumbled straight into it.

“shit!”

•••

style inspiration: IN PROGRESS!

song inspiration: https://bit.ly/2cGK1XA

[dandyandiepeterson]

– WHEN IT COMES TO TRUE LOVE, GIRL, WITH HIM THERE’S NO ONE HOME

( cold hearted, paula abdul )

•••

xi. reaction to steve and nancy’s blowout at the theatre

•••

saturdays were overrated—at least, to andrea peterson.

during a typical weekday, ordinary people had an idea of what would occur. schedules were formatted around the five days sandwiched between the weekend. there were rarely any surprises.

fridays were unique. they held the same expectation as the other weekdays but there was a constant level of excitement, intrigue that blossomed when the afternoon fell. possibilities were endless on fridays—plans limitless.

come saturday, the dreams may have faded. fatigue made itself known. cancellations, rain-checks, and postponements grew common. saturdays were made to evaluate damage. it disguised itself as a refuge of rest but refused its guests a bed. further aggravating, sunday loomed above saturday’s head like a guillotine—a butcher waiting for a fresh cut of meat. and sundays were the worst. that needed no explanation.

by seven am, andie had awoken in maeve standish’s bedroom. for the first time in what had to be a week, her nightmares had skipped town like a teenage runaway. now, her subconscious had been swarmed by the realization that her best friend was a superhero. the silver surfer knew no match for the mighty maeve.

maeve’s confession didn’t bother andie. she wasn’t disturbed. she was interested. she wanted to know more. she wanted to know everything. but, this wasn’t her story. she was just part of the audience. it was maeve’s decision if she wanted to take the girl backstage. no matter how desperately she wanted the “why”, andie promised not to pry.

stacks of pancakes and silly banter filled andie’s morning. if she had it her way, she would stay with the standish family forever. but, like every saturday, she couldn’t rest. she had responsibilities that didn’t stop with the average work week. life didn’t stop just because she wanted it to.

back at home, andie greeted her parents with leftovers from mary standish and affection. dark circles clutched beneath the couple’s eyes. andie deduced that the two had spent most of their night tossing and turning. their family tricycle had lost a wheel. even if just for one night, it was hard to maneuver a foreign contraption.

unsure of how to give their only daughter due space, charles and carolyn asked vague questions about how the sleepover had gone. andie told them how it all played out— casually excluding the part where her best friend had revealed she could shape other’s opinions at will. hugs were exchanged before andie escaped to her room. it felt like she had come back from a year-long mission trip to africa.

once unpacked, andie took her rightful place at her white-wooden desk. like a queen to her throne, it was where she had felt the most powerful. many assignments had been completed in the very spot. numerous pulitzer-prize worthy essays had been cultivated. a glossy, golden star stuck against the main frame of the fixture. the sticker served as a reminder of her constant success. she would succeed today if only she could get through her english homework.

“heart of darkness” had proven just how it sounded—gloomy and empty. andie had a tendency to find a glimmer of hope in any piece of literature she had been assigned. unfortunately, she was stuck sailing down the congo with an ivory-trading imperialist. it was going to be a long, strange journey.

merely five minutes into the novel and a voice scurried its way up the house’s staircase to emerge upon andie’s ears. usually, an interruption of this caliber would frustrate the overachiever but, this time, it felt like a proper reprieve.

“andrea, sweetheart, phone!”

pages of the rolodex inside andie’s head flipped rapidly. she considered every person who could be on the other side of the call.

cameron spent time with his dad on saturdays. morgan usually crossed town lines to visit a shopping mall. it could have been maeve. she and andie had only been apart for an hour but perhaps the brunette was missing the blonde? andie surely wished she was back lounging on maeve’s trusty trundle.

“thanks, mom!”

long fingers wrapped themselves around a bubblegum-tinted receiver. the rosy telephone fit in perfectly with the rest of andie’s floral décor. balancing the phone between her cheek and shoulder, andie identified herself with esteem: “andrea peterson speaking. how can i help you?”

“andie?”

the voice on the other end of the line was slivery. soft and gentle, it fell upon andie like a lullaby.

“andie, hi, it’s nancy.”

one of the last people andie expected to hear from was nancy wheeler. just yesterday, nancy had left her stranded in favor of jonathan byers.

it wasn’t that andie wished ill-will upon jonathan, too much tragedy had already unloaded itself onto his family, she simply never considered that will’s brooding older brother would be a more compelling companion than herself.

“hey, nance. how are you? need help with the martinez assignment? i’m working on it right now…”

“no, no. i’m fine. thank you,” background noise of shuffling papers and deep, muffled tones transferred through to andie. it sounded less like the eldest wheeler sibling was in her quaint bedroom and more as if she were trapped in an office cubicle, “is it possible you could do me another favor, though?”

shifting in her spot, andie’s hands came to cradle the neck of the phone. vertebrae stacked themselves atop each other as she settled into her own sense of curiosity.

“sure, what’s going on? is everything okay?”

“uh, yeah. kind of,” a swift pause came and went. its spot was filled with a detached sigh, “not really.”

will’s death and barbara’s disappearance had left hawkins on edge. andie hadn’t been excluded from the narrative. blood began to pump itself rapidly through her veins. she couldn’t bear witness to another heartache.

“can you meet me at the hawkins police station?”

before andie could wonder why the specific spot had been chosen for their clandestine congregation, an agreement came tumbling from her lips: “yeah.”

silence gave andie the opportunity to reconsider. the police station? what was at the police station?

james houseman was at the police station but he wasn’t nancy’s problem. he was maeve’s. truthfully, he wasn’t even a problem. or maybe he was? andie had lied to him last night. was lying to a police officer a public offense? had nancy been selected as a mole to draw her in for further questioning?

recognizing the signals of her spiraling, andie threw herself a life-preserver. tips of two jagged nails dug themselves against the phone’s curled cord. the wire quickly looped itself around her digits, suffocating them like a starved boa constrictor.

“do you mind explaining why or should i just… leave it as a surprise?” andie chose to play herself off casually. not only did it aid in her alibi but nancy’s relationship with steve had gifted her with a new, shiny reputation. andie wasn’t going to be one to humiliate herself.

“it’s kind of embarrassing,” though a moderate distance apart, andie knew a blush was tinging at nancy’s fair complexion. was this the reveal? was this the part where she found out that their call was being monitored?

“you can’t tell my parents but… i’ve been detained.”

“wait, what?!”

within seconds, andie’s yellow beetle sped like a harsh swipe of butter against the less-than-toasty hawkins landscape. hearty wind currents pushed the tiny car towards its destination. previously worried of her dishonesty towards a public servant, andie was now terrified of the effects that her reckless driving would have on her future. babysitters with traffic violations weren’t necessarily desired. still, a friend, however flaky, was in danger. she had been asked to help and, thus, she would do anything she could.

pulling into the first vacant spot, andie leapt from her vehicle. urgency saturated her actions, causing her to nearly forget to lock the vehicle behind her. the station, although humble, cast a shadow upon her frame as she expeditiously approached on foot. swinging the glass door open, stale air, resulting from an forgotten pot of coffee and dusty windowsills, assaulted her. she wafted through its haze, stepping towards a small barrier intended to separate the officers’ work stations from the front of the room. a letterboard reading “lunch break – back at two” did little to stop andie from slamming her palm against a copper call-bell situated on the counter.

a lone man in uniform looked up from his desk near a back corner. thick rimmed glasses made it easy for andie to notice the look of discontent in his eyes. glancing to his left and then to his right, the young man hoped there was another individual more equipped to handle the bold blonde in the lobby. with a subtle groan, he rose from his rolling chair, a lanky mass ambling towards a hurricane.

“hi, andrea peterson. i’m here for nancy wheeler.”

“you don’t look like a parent or a guardian,” the bespectacled man scanned the teen up and down, a hint of a grimace breaking on his thin lips. the proximity allowed andie to read the tiny, metallic nametag that hung from the officer’s breast pocket. it spelled “callahan”.

“half the families in hawkins would beg to differ,” crossing her arms over her chest, andie let pride bubble up from her soul. parent or not, she was mature and sensible. confidence would be key in convincing this man of law of her responsibility.

“so, can you get her?” the question was released like a statement of the obvious.

“i’m sorry but i’m gonna have to—”

“can you get her?” repeating herself with rigidity, andie refused to falter. she wouldn’t stop until she got her way. she had run too many red lights to admit defeat.

“ma’am, you’re going to have to—”

“can you get her?”

“i don’t know what you’re—”

andie continued to echo her demand as officer callahan attempted to explain why it would be unjust to leave a “delinquent” in the custody of a minor, “can you get her? can you get her? i can do this all day. can you get her, can you get her, can you get her, can you get…”

“alright, fine, i’ll get her!” officer callahan threw his arms in the air with the same impassioned release as his words. an unruly swirling of russet-colored curls was interrupted as he ran his fingers through his hair. the motion and his frazzled tone painted him into a portrait of frustration, “just… stop, will you? my god.”

a saccharine smirk rose to mask andie’s features. it was partly formed in response to the officer’s less-than-pleasant plea but mainly arrived to celebrate her personal victory.

officer callahan stepped back into his office space and then, around a corner. out of sight, he disappeared down a dimly lit hallway. he reemerged moments later with a boy and girl on his arm. “if you need more ice, you ask flo. you don’t grab it yourself,” his reprimand, though intended to sound firm, came off more liberal. it was difficult to chastise others when only possessing a few years of seniority.

“flo’s on her break. i have to go to the back to ask her,” tawny locks slung into a teased ponytail, andie had no issue identifying the owner of the faint voice. the girl officer callahan had toted out was nancy wheeler—as expected. but the boy…

“jonathan?”

andie’s gaze flickered across the purple-blue hue ringing jonathan’s eye and then towards iron cuffs encasing his wrists. jonathan remained silent as if not to confirm his identity.

the pair took a seat in chairs adjacent to each other while officer callahan opened a small gate, allowing andie to leave the lobby and enter upon the wider section of the room. nancy looked towards andie but her focus remained upon tending to bruise on jonathan’s profile. ice wrapped in a decorative dish towel blotted tenderly against the irritated skin as andie strode towards the couple.

“jesus, nance, i’m used to babysitting your brother, not you! what the hell happened?!”

unsure where to begin, nancy shrugged with discomfort. an awkward exchange between distant friends.

“it’s… a long story.”

the familiar phrase transported andie to the day prior. the same four words had been issued to her on the outskirts of a graveyard. typically, the location served as a final resting place, but this sentiment had risen from the dead.

“well, i have time!” two emerald beams, teeming with an unwavering amount of dedication, prompted nancy and jonathan to proceed with caution, “and now, evidently, so do you.”

hands situated on her hips, andie reeked of dominance. teachers far and wide had utilized the same stance to appropriately scold rowdy students. in a sense, andie had been dropped into a similar position. troublemakers needed her guidance.

ridges of nancy’s front teeth chewed into her bottom lip. her chin tucked closer towards her body while she peeked out of the left corners of her eyes. silently, she requested jonathan’s approval.

just as invisible was the nod that came from the older byers brother. his palm moved to conceal nancy’s which held the make-shift icepack to his wound, “i got it.”

accompanying the motion, andie noticed a slight shiver wrack through jonathan’s frame. the reaction was similar to that of being struck by an unassuming electric shock. temperature could not be to blame. the ice was properly concealed; the room fallen victim to a heating system. touching the eldest wheeler sibling had seemingly conjured unshakeable excitement.

“are you sur—”

“yeah, i’m fine.”

andie remained with a perpetually furrowed brow. softness that seemed to radiate from jonathan couldn’t displace her interest. it bubbled, threatening to explode, like a shaken can of soda.

pushing her chair outward, nancy jolted to a stand as a harsh squeak echoed through the mostly empty room. in the corner, officer callahan remained unphased. he had returned his attention to the mess of manilla folders occupying his desk. so much for providing surveillance to his supposed “criminals.”

“follow me.”

naturally, andie did as she was told. she stayed on nancy’s heels as they ventured down a narrow corridor. noticing that this had been the same hall by which officer callahan had previously retrieved nancy and jonathan from, the two girls had no difficulty navigating the clear, straight path. soon, they entered upon a room drenched in brown hues.

a single table sat in the middle of the boxy space. atop the fixture were two lonely coffee cups and plastic utensils that had been stained a sandstone color. behind the table was a window, allowing just enough light to streak through skewed, open blinds. the nearest wall was lined with cabinets—their style resembling that of nineteen-sixties architecture. multiple appliances and kitchen-ware items had been organized in a linear fashion on a green marble countertop: a microwave, a toaster, a sugar jar, more mugs. all the way in the corner lied a white refrigerator. news clippings and a single polaroid of young boys in blue were attached to the icebox via magnets. at a sink closest to the doorway stood an older woman, rinsing out a plastic container. wide-framed lenses took up half-her face as she glared towards the pair that had interrupted her.

“i can only give you so much ice, sweetheart…” after drying her hands with a paper towel, the woman plucked a piece of lint from her woolen vest. andie couldn’t help but notice how quintessentially autumnal the aging woman looked. a mocha-colored sweater was paired with a long-sleeved peach blouse, decorated with sprigs of white flowers. fashionable business attire was always impressive.

“i’m not here for that,” nancy quipped. realizing she had come off as too blunt, she quickly worked to correct herself, “but thank you, flo.”

disposing of her used cutlery, flo shook her head at the remaining mess of twin mugs atop the sole table. it was not so much to disturb her hairsprayed curls but to allow a loosely knotted neck-tie to sway slightly. pink lipstick encased flo’s lips but had not painted the rim of either coffee cups. this, alone, absolved her of the guilt of this obvious abandonment offense. instead of reaching for the glasses, she chose to sigh and begin in the opposite direction. andie interpreted the noise as a release of frustration.

if andie’s intuition had served her correct, flo had been the station’s secretary she had the misfortune of bypassing. flo was also one of the only women who worked in the office. the woman’s crows-feet and indistinct wrinkling around her forehead told andie all she needed to know about flo’s appointed position as the office “mother.”

“i’ll be back for that,” flo mumbled over her shoulder, refusing to halt as she sauntered through the doorframe. once the sound of retreating footsteps faded into nothingness, andie rushed into a seat across from the deserted, porcelain cups. this time, nancy followed, startled by the chair’s wobbly leg that buckled as she sat. keeping her voice hush yet unyielding, andie leaned forward, “what’s going on?”

“i don’t know where to start.”

avoidance seemed to be nancy’s tacit of choice. who called someone to pick them up from a police station without giving a proper explanation? unlucky for nancy, andie was persistent. she never gave up. she had her sights set on a goal and wouldn’t settle for less. she would get what she came for—she would get her answers, even if it took all day.

“why are you here? with jonathan byers, of all people?”

pursed lips blew a uniform stream of air from nancy’s lungs, “okay, so, you know how i’m dating steve?”

the very mention of steve harrington caused andie to roll her eyes. an automatic, involuntary response.

“unfortunately.”

“well, i’ve been spending a lot of time with jonathan lately. like…” tugging at the pendant of gold ballet shoes hanging from her necklace, nancy refused to look andie in the face. “like i told you at the funeral, first we had a history project and, after everything happened, we started spending more time together.”

everything happened.

a phrase so short yet it made andie’s stomach churn.

too much had happened.

“mike’s been taking all of this really hard.”

round eyes narrowed into slits. golden ringlets that had been collected into a perfect ponytail swung over her right ear while she cocked her head slightly. the curls weren’t enough to obstruct her hearing. she knew she heard correctly.

she recalled the funeral. it was just yesterday. mike, dustin and lucas had assured her of their stability. they had packed away their sorrow the same as they tucked away their fisher price toys in favor of the more “grown-up” dungeons and dragons board game.

nancy lied.

mike was a good liar too—but not good enough to conceal his suffering.

“jonathan could talk to me and i could talk to him.”

nodding slowly, andie worked quickly to conceal her suspicions. if andie expected to uncover a single truth, she had to pretend as if she believed in the fairytale. a good lawyer would never stop their defendant in the middle of a confession.

“but steve didn’t like that,” the name seemed to catch in nancy’s throat. similar to taking a sip of a hot drink, the mention of her former flame scorched her mouth, leaving an uncomfortable heaviness to settle deep within her chest.

“i guess i might have blown him off but… have you seen the hawk?” almost mistakenly, nancy looked up from her hands. andie was still engaged. merely mentioning her nemesis had drew her further into the ambiguous anecdote.

“the hawk movie theatre? yeah, i’ve been there before.”

just last week, andie worked to convince nancy’s younger brother that “cujo” was not worth a drive out to said theatre. she hadn’t seen the film but its r-rating meant mike and his friends wouldn’t either.

“i mean, have you seen it today?”

“no, why?”

exhaling, nancy crossed one leg over the other. her knee scraped the bottom of the table, quaking the unstable fixture enough to rattle the dishes atop. as the piece of furniture worked hurriedly to maintain its composure, so did nancy.

“i guess steve told tommy h and carol about what he thought was going on and…”

like bait to a curious fish, andie leaned in although it seemed as if nancy was desperate to pull her emotions back to shore.

“… and they wrote all of these really crazy things about me. in spray paint.”

eyebrows collided in the middle of andie’s forehead to make uninterrupted wave of confusion. despite its popularity, appreciation for graffiti had never made its way to rural hawkins. was now a sort of artistic renaissance?

“what? like what?”

“that i’m a slut. a cheater…”

“what?!”

the exclamation emerged louder than even andie had intended. sound waves reverberated off of the room’s sandy walls, promising to knock weakly hung portraits from their place. fury surged through her, rising steadily until it puckered a ruby tinge to her cheeks.

according to andie, there were three “definites” in life: everyone paid taxes, everyone would some day die and steve harrington was unbearable. he had always been rude, callous, and particularly self-serving. andie learned early on that steve had a quick temper. with a sense of determination of their own, her collaborations with steve always settled like oil upon water.

for whatever it was, steve didn’t like andie. andie didn’t like steve. this, andie could live with.

regardless of their arguments, andie knew she had already recieved the worst of steve’s wrath. she’d never forget the way he threw her from her perch following her historic student council closing argument. she had launched an attack on him and, thus, accepted a nasty invasion of her sanity.

she thought she had seen it all. she thought his indifference towards a missing child was as awful as he could get. clearly, andie was mistaken. steve was capable of pushing his privilege to great lengths. this time, he had pushed his privilege too far.

“oh my god, what a snake! you know, i could get him expelled for that. i could get him expelled from every school in roane county.”

“andie, it’s fine, i—”

an erect index finger interrupted nancy’s interruption. the brunette stared at the digit as if it were a lit match.

“wait, not just roane county, i could get him expelled from every school in the nation! he is vile, you know that? he is nothing but a jealous, insecure, self-righteous piece of—”

“andie! no, it’s okay! i got it covered.”

nancy’s protests stifled the wildfire wreaking havoc upon andie’s soul. dissolving the raging flames into embers, the residual steam from the blaze attempted to break from her ears.

“what? you don’t want to get back at him?”

“i sorta… already did.”

rough strokes of confusion drew a wicked design across the canvas of andie’s face.

“what does that mean?”

“it means that jonathan kind of took care of it.”

unwilling to be eased, andie’s puzzlement remained permanently affixed to her features. alternatively, nancy unsuccessfully sought to suppress the corners of her mouth from curling inward. although the story was coming together, the blonde still felt like a defective detective.

nancy rested forward on her forearms, reducing the space between her and her partner. intuitive and clever, andie recognized that a truth was to be revealed. secrets had found a formative place in andie’s current life. unsure of what she did to deserve the honor of knowing intimate details of others, she didn’t question her newfound role as town confidant.

“jonathan… kicked his ass.”

andie blinked twice before shrinking her wide gaze.

“wait, what? oh my god, you’re kidding.”

three days prior, jonathan had been made into prey by alpha steve and his loyal pack of savages. everyone knew of the dispute that had taken place in the school parking lot. andie’s own presidential speech outlined the cruelty she witnessed that day. in a town where the birth of livestock was considered exciting, any news regarding conflict was a headliner.

now, despite this knowledge, andie was to assume that jonathan byers, the boy who couldn’t defend his beloved camera, somehow defended himself and nancy?

there was no way.

nancy’s bashful smile didn’t falter. she continued rocking on her elbows, pressing her lips together tightly. anticipation for andie’s realization had turned the teenager into a giddy schoolgirl.

“you’re not kidding,” andie spoke blankly, “holy shit.”

shock cloaked the blonde, protecting her from any other emotion. she shook her head softly as if to submerge this revelation in the bottomless pools of her mind.

jonathan byers took on steve harrington in a public brawl? and won?!

not even andie could be so brave.

“holy shit! you’re right. that’s so much worse than getting expelled.”

amazed laughter erupted from both girls, splattering the dull room with a vibrant shade of joy. finally, the stress of their circumstances had fled. the reasons surrounding nancy’s decision to call andie had made itself clear. familiar flavors of friendship perfumed the otherwise stagnant air.

afraid to obstruct the rare moment of bliss, andie tentatively continued: “was it bad?”

“why do you think we’re here?”

reality struck its mighty bolt. the girls hadn’t been gossiping in their bedrooms. they were still nestled within the stuffy confines of a small-town police station. as if on instinct, a subtle frown replaced the spot where a gleeful grin once lied.

“shit, i’m so sorry,” andie spoke with heartfelt concern.

nancy brought a single shoulder to her ear. the shrug was matter of fact. she seemed less concerned about her predicament than the girl she summoned to bail her out.

“it’s fine. it’s not like either of us are going to go to jail. they basically just took us here to straighten us out.”

“and are your straightened out?”

just because andie had grown worrisome for her rebellious companion didn’t mean she was required to remain stern.

“i guess time will tell.”

low rumblings from an exhausted furnace warmed the pair as much as their identical, contented smiles. most of andie’s questions had been answered but a single, critical inquiry remained. taking advantage of the tenderhearted moment, she decided to release her curiosity.

“what about you and jonathan? i think there’s a lot of straightening out that needs to be done there.”

meekness bloomed upon nancy in the form of a rosy blush. hiding her apparent embarrassment under the guise of oblivion, her face scrunched at the imposition.

“what do you mean?”

“i mean, obviously, you aren’t with steve any more. are you two…”

before the remaining intention had materialized, nancy sprung upon andie’s claim with ardent negation unlike anything andie had ever experienced.

“oh, no! no, no!”

showered in captivation, it was andie’s turn to rest on her elbows. lured into an interesting dialogue, it was amusing to watch the calm-and-collected brunette squirm.

“there’s… we’re just friends.”

previous pink that sprinkled across the landscape of nancy’s expression had blossomed into a field of spirited crimsons and maroons. stammering and stalling could not conceal its vitality.

“you don’t like him?” andie wasn’t one to taunt but this was nancy. this was the same girl who forced andie to play as skipper for the entirety of second grade because “there could only be one barbie.” as if being held against her will in a police station hadn’t been enough, nancy deserved minor punishment for having grown so distant.

“of course i like him.”

“ah-ha!”

pointing ahead of her, andie waggled her nailbed inches away from the tip of nancy’s nose. she smiled in a devilish manner. amusement blinded her. a modest mouse had stumbled upon her expertly formulated trap.

“but i don’t like-him, like-him.”

half-smiles, one defeated, one vindicated, mirrored towards each other. while others would find this an ideal opportunity to let the conversation fade, andie’s innate stubbornness kept her stuck to this topic like glue.

“well, he clearly likes-you, likes-you.”

a scoff; yet not one of anguish. it teemed with disbelief, not displeasure, “andie, don’t be ridiculous.”

as andie raised her shoulders lightly, an audible exhalation released itself from her lips. faint, it resembled a giggle, “i’m just saying, i wouldn’t get a black eye for just anyone.”

this was an undisputed fact. nancy couldn’t deny its validity. instead, she rolled the oceans of her eyes that had been touched by sunshine. andie couldn’t recall ever seeing this type of emotion within them. but now, they embraced the light. it had been a brief twinkle before returning to a calming sea.

andie’s persistence arose from a place of sincerity. steve was never one to be trusted—now, more than ever. whatever she could do to pry her friend away from the heap of toxic waste that had been decorated with an impossibly gigantic pile of blow-dried waves, she would do.

“ready to head out?”

“definitely,” nancy rose from her seat, tucking in her chair behind her. andie did the same. “let me just say goodbye to jonathan.”

“of course. i think they want me to sign some paperwork before we go so i’ll go do that.”

a piece of andie wished she could remain as one of the two ceramic mugs that had kept her and nancy company throughout their discussion. it would be a tremendous misfortune to be condemned to this dreary shoebox for an eternity, but she knew the sincerity shared between her and nancy would intoxicate the room for a lifetime.

strolling down the hall from which they entered, the girls were thrown back into an arena that seemed as if it remained untouched. in the back corner was callahan, still sifting through the files that had remained a chaotic disaster atop his station. at a desk to his right sat jonathan. handcuffs remained around his wrist as a sort of accessory, making it difficult for him to keep the bundle of ice pressed to his bruised profile. flo was situated the front of the room, not-so-anxiously awaiting a visitor to take a claim from. pen in hand, the older woman looked to be focused on transcribing a form. or authorizing. or correcting. andie couldn’t tell the difference.

nancy strode directly to jonathan and andie allowed them their privacy. looping back into the lobby, she felt partially guilty to have to withdraw flo from her assignment.

“hi, flo, i believe there are—”

unable to finish her thought, two masses hurtled in from the entrance. the glass doors slammed behind the couple as they sped past andie with haste, giving her little time to recognize with whom she had encountered. she wondered if the invisible man needed a mate. seemingly transparent herself, she’d be a perfect match.

grabbling onto the countertop ahead of her to keep from toppling over, a determined andie vowed to properly identify the twin hurricanes blustering through her terrain. a tremulous, uniquely recognizable tone easily revealed one of the two culprits.

“hey, jonathan? jesus, what—what happened?!” joyce byers replaced nancy at her son’s side. andie should’ve guessed that the mother would be in to collect her beloved lawbreaker. deciding against greeting the woman, andie stared down at her ballet flats. callahan arose along with the words “ma’am” in an attempt to placate the perplexed parent.

“i’m fine,” jonathan persisted, though not too convincingly. it was unclear to andie whether he was fearful of issuing his anxious mother an honest response or of looking fragile in front of his unconcerned crush.

“why is he wearing handcuffs?” joyce continued to assert her authority to the very symbol of authority. police may have been noted for their bravery but they knew no match to the unbreakable byers.

hovering over one pair to look another in the eye, callahan shrugged, “well, your boy assaulted a police officer. that’s why.” the statement was honest. it held merit against jonathan’s innocence. still, joyce was not convinced. her speech rose in volume and assertion.

“take them off.”

“i am afraid i cannot do that.”

“take them off!”

joyce’s vehement objections were accompanied with something new. a deeper, domineering requirement washed over the station: “you heard her, take them off.”

andie’s posture stiffened at the release of the older man’s voice. alarm settled in the spaces between her bones. this man had drifted past her too quickly and she was now subject to staring at his broad, corduroy-covered back. while his pitch resembled that of her father’s when he attempted to discipline her, she struggled with putting a face to the figure.

distracted by her newest riddle, andie failed to notice that yet another police officer had entered the room. she was sure if just one extra person were to enter the quaint facility, the walls would burst. sporting the same navy dress shirt as callahan, the newer, more composed gentleman looked to mediate the rising tensions: “chief, i get everybody’s emotional here, but there’s something you need to see.”

chief.

of course, andie’s mystery man was chief jim hopper. no one else in town had the same, daunting ability to command a room. they had never met formally, due to andie’s strict adherence to all legalities, but her father had spent the past four years collaborating with the man whose minimal cases would be reported during the crime segment of local news. the worst story the news circuit reported on was when a bird attacked a woman’s head. to the creature’s credit, andie agreed that the woman’s frizzy bun had resembled a dry and brittle nest.

hawkins had always been a growing, unassuming community; a shining example of the american dream. now, it was more like a neighborhood of nightmares.

chief hopper, callahan and the other officer who, predictably, moved too quickly for andie to identify, pushed out from the bullpen, around andie, and out the front door. entertaining her lip, a remorseful andie felt as if she had borne witness to a crime she had no business in understanding.  the scope of this “isolated” incident seemed to spread farther than nancy had suggested.

“i’m sorry, sweetheart, what was it you needed?” andie gazed towards the woman addressing her. flo was still present. so was she. a shock as she nearly forgot she was a detectable being.

“paperwork,” andie’s mouth pressed into a stiff smile. maybe if she just pretended she hadn’t seen anything, she could get both she and nancy out of this uncomfortable mess unscathed? “for nancy wheeler.”

“oh, right. right,” flo’s maternal aura eased andie’s rising apprehension. as she rummaged through a metal file cabinet, releasing enough noise to drown out any conversation joyce and jonathan had been sharing, andie fought off the urge to pick at her cuticles. they had become landing strips of raw, scabbing skin. if she continued down the same path, she’s soon be stripping the protective membranes around her metacarpals.

papers rose from the piece of office furniture, separated themselves from flo’s grasp and slid toward andie’s body. a threatening stack of documents rested on the counter before her. sighing, andie equipped herself with a pen. she assumed she only had one essay to complete this weekend. now, there were two.

three full pages had been completed before an inevitable interruption developed. chief hopper and his trusty sidekicks emerged from the outside. in chief hopper’s hands was a worn, cardboard box. judging by the strain it seemed to put on the burly man’s arms and the painful sound of clanking iron, andie’s attention shifted, growing worrisome of whatever weapon had been retrieved.

her intrigue was an instant mistake. chief hopper locked on to her eyes. as the remaining officers passed them, they stood motionless, unable to displace their burgeoning levels of suspicion.

“who are you?” lines formed between chief hopper’s untrimmed brows. a bristly forest of scruff did nothing to camouflage the look of distaste on his jaw, “and what are you doing here?”

“i’m andrea peterson. my dad is charles…” andie waited for recognition, displaying a nervous, half-smile. everyone who owned a television knew who her father was. or did they? when a desired response failed to come, only continuing to be met with two lips that had pressed themselves into a white slash, she completed her sentence, “peterson.”

silence plagued the duo. a pinched, unhappy glare urged andie to reveal more.

“i’m here for nancy.”

“are you a parent or a guardian?”

the correct answer wasn’t the right answer. an extrovert by nature, andie hoped she hadn’t expended the breadth of her gift of gab on officer callahan.

“no, but she called and they told me—”

“then go home.”

a firm expectation. this wasn’t an option; this was an order.

unsure of where her sudden courage rose from, andie activated a strong posture. shoulders back, chest out, chin high, she had been called in to defend her friend. thus, she would defend: “but these papers clearly state that you don’t need a parent or a guardian—”

“well, i’m chief of police. and i am clearly stating that it is time for you to go home.” chief hopper shrugged past the teenager, leaving her to respect his basic request. releasing her confidence by drooping forward, andie persisted, letting her query thread themselves alongside the blue, checkered fabric of his shirt.

“but what about nancy?”

“i have a few questions for her.”

once his answer filled the tiny space, chief hopper turned abruptly. only the width of a cardboard box separated the large man from the smaller girl. towering over her, chief hopper’s shadow swallowed andie’s frame.

hair lifted on the nape of andie’s neck. flared nostrils and a clenched jaw caused the color to drain from her cheeks. she wasn’t trying to convince another member of debate team of her stance. she was squaring up against the highest level of authority in hawkins. her gift of gab had faded into a burden.

“don’t make me ask you again. go.”

andie leaned away from the source, nearly tripping over herself as she started backwards. disengage. she may have come here to bail out a friend, but she refused to have to make bail for herself.

peering over her shoulder, into the bullpen, andie looked to nancy. as if to release andie from any remaining shackles that held her to the police station, nancy nodded her head once. they both knew this was a battle they would have to lose.

no additional words were exchanged. abandoning the legal novel she had been curating before her disruption, andie quietly saw herself out. a tense conversation with the hawkins chief of police was the last expectation she had for today. she almost wished she was still sailing to central station with marlow and mr. kurtz.

focus mounted on her yellow beetle, andie nearly missed an approaching figure. she came to a halt while two feminine voices collided in the air.

“maeve?”

“andie?”

identical looks of uncertainty outlined their faces. they both asked the obvious question: “what are you doing here?”

maeve had to have been andie’s guardian angel. she seemed to always arrive when andie needed her light the most.

maeve wasn’t alone. behind her, a man remained in place. andie had seen this man before. he was the one at the football game, the one she deluded on a telephone call, the only officer missing in the station. intimidating, yet not in the same vein as chief hopper, james houseman wore his police uniform like a medal of honor. he was always so put together, so handsome, even when he was escorting andie’s best friend into his workplace.

feet shuffled against the grainy asphalt. james looked to give the two girls space to speak in secrecy. it was difficult given the confines of the six-spot parking lot.

“nancy called me to pick her up but i guess she didn’t need me,” hands flew out ahead of andie as she lifted them along with her shoulders. indifferent gestures were a physical manifestation of her minor irritation, “why are you here?”

flitting her line of sight from james to maeve and back again, andie questioned what exactly she had stumbled upon. she wasn’t expected to fill out a form to bail yet another friend out, was she? for maeve, she would, but it would be a feat to challenge chief hopper to a second round of battle.

anxious to hide her next inquiry from the other party, andie tilted into maeve, whispering: “and why are you with james?”

james glanced up at the recognition of his name, locking eyes with andie. shades of green and blue mixed momentarily; destructive waves crashing upon a treacherous sea. james was the first to look away. regret housed itself in the form of a bashful frown.

“i’ll…” speckles of golden honey swirled in the warmth of maeve’s stare. exhaustion failed to hide the wonder that always seemed to emerge when she was with her boy with the badge, “tell you later.”

“okay,” worry struck andie. she knew maeve and james had had a disagreement. last night, she really understood how serious it had become. drama had engulfed the budding couple. was this encounter an extension of the already published narrative?

“i’ll see you later then.” trying her best to displace her concern, andie allows her mouth to press upwards into a smile. unconvincing, maybe, but it was the best she could do. door in hand, james investigated the station, concentration away from the pair of best friends. while his back was turned, andie quickly flexed her pinky and thumb into a gesture, carrying the symbol to her ear. “call me!” she mouthed, desperate for maeve to uphold her promise.

“i will,” was all andie was left with.

alone again, andie played with her car keys. jingling of nickel and brass were drown out by a dull chiming of a bell. hawkins was reporting that it was officially four o’clock.

four o’clock. and what had she accomplished?

failure hadn’t necessarily defined her afternoon, but she hadn’t retrieved what she came for. she couldn’t save nancy, she couldn’t save maeve, and most unfortunately, she couldn’t save herself. winning wasn’t in the cards. would it ever be?

across the street, the city clock-tower, nestled atop the community library, continued to ring. its systemic tolls attracted andie’s attention. the bell swung back in forth in a hypnotizing manner. what had both she and this town become?

shaking her head to somehow wipe the defeat from her brow, she intended to finally leave today’s events behind. however, far off in the distance, a dot on the horizon caught her eye.

a young boy, no older than andie, sat by himself on the side of the library. unphased by the fixture’s deafening blares, his back rested against a brick pillar. hands cradled a paperback novel. worn pages flipped every few seconds. main street was eerily empty for a saturday afternoon. perhaps steve harrington’s terror had driven everyone else away?

enchanted by the boy, who was able to find pleasure in being by himself, andie approached to get a better view. did she know him? could they be alone together? black hair rippled through the breeze. a tattered jean jacket, with frayed denim on the limbs. dark pants and dark shoes with the laces mangled. placing the book down to reach into his pocket, a box of clove cigarettes ultimately defined this individual.

somehow, andie had closed enough distance between her and the figure to fully identify him. even if she hadn’t, the distinct scent of burning tobacco and spicy evergreen would have given it away.

“kyle?”

suddenly, a win didn’t seem too far from andie’s reach.

•••

style inspiration: IN PROGRESS!

song inspiration: https://bit.ly/1O2y6L0

[dandyandiepeterson]

– THERE’S PROMISE IN THE AIR AND I’M GUIDING YOU

( magic, olivia newton-john )

•••

x. hearing about eleven and the whisperings of activity at hawkin’s laboratory

•••

“toothpaste?”

“check!”

“hairbrush?”

“check!”

“socks?”

“check!”

“your beautiful smile?”

staring up from her carnation colored duffel bag, andie watched a sly smirk grow on her mother’s face. carolyn looked tiny situated within the white-wooden doorframe of andie’s room. yellow beams of light buzzing from a nearby standing lamp could not match the warmth that seemed to radiate off of carolyn.

this sunny attitude was new to andie. she always knew her mother to be kind and comforting but never so outward with her affection. unsure whether the general concealment of carolyn’s emotions was a way to cope with the occasional tragedies that she witnessed as a nurse or to offset her daughter’s perpetual turbulence, andie never asked. for all she knew, her mother’s intermittent apathy was a product of her childhood. andie had only met her maternal grandparents once. she remembered them to be as frigid as their spotless house.

cocking her head slightly, dimples pressed themselves into andie’s cheeks. the dainty divots in her skin were paired with a soft, closed-mouth smile. “check,” andie whispered in an unexpectedly shy response.

carefully, she stood as her floral fitted sheet puckered with an attempt to retain its taut shape. the tulle-velvet material of the dress that she had worn earlier brushed itself across her bare ankle. it was unlike andie to leave clothes sprawled mindlessly around her room but as soon as she had returned home from will’s funeral, she had thrown the black ensemble off her body as if it had been engulfed in flames. so desperately, andie wanted to leave the events of this morning within the past. she remained afraid to touch the dress, unsure if the fabric would bring back undue memories or scald her palm.

with a harsh “zip”, andie shut the bag that sat at the foot of her bed, throwing the strap of the heavy mass on to her shoulder. teetering cautiously towards her mother, she balanced the overstuffed package like an expert tight-rope walker. andie had a tendency to overpack—being unprepared was the same as being irresponsible.

“and you’re sure you’re alright to go?” as andie drew closer, carolyn outstretched her hand to prompt andie to unburden her excessive load. instead, a noise of disapproval altered her intentions, allowing for her open palm to clasp her daughter’s forearm.

“positive.”

one of the only forms of motivation that andie had clung to the past few days was knowing that she had an opportunity to spend time with maeve. the mental and physical exhaustion weighed like bricks upon her chest— it made her doubt that she would be the best company. but, maeve had already seen her at her worst. if she was willing to stick through that, andie wondered if there was anything that she could do to make her run away.

andie didn’t have many friends, too much of her time was spent occupying academics or extracurriculars. the mere prospect of having someone to unwind with brought her happiness. and who was andie to deny a spark of joy in the darkest of times?

“you look a little tired,” sweeping her grip upward, carolyn’s fingers brushed gently over the side of andie’s face. three digits traveled across the ridge of her cheekbone, continuing to lightly blot at the blue-violet hue beneath her waterline. carolyn knew this type of fatigue was not a result of stress or overwork. it was her daughter’s badge of suffering. the contact was so tender and yet andie felt as if the varying ridges of her mother’s thumbprint had burnt themselves into visible scars.

“i’m going to a sleepover, mom. we’re obviously going to sleep.” signaling her mother to release, andie placed her own hand atop the one masking her features. carolyn gracefully withdrew, unwilling but understanding.

“oh, clearly,” levels of light-hearted sarcasm rose in carolyn’s voice. this was the mother andie had come to love. stepping aside, carolyn allowed her daughter to exit from her room. while andie wavered down the hall to descend the stairs, carolyn pressed into andie’s bedroom to flick the active light switch off. any other day, carolyn would remind her daughter not to be wasteful with electricity but today’s events had already proven more than enough punishment.

“if you need anything, dad and i are here.” the older woman trailed closely behind andie, always remaining one step behind. she was ready to catch the slim teenager if her daunting collection of belongings had proven too burdensome. “you know your father stays up later than me so you can call if you’re feeling upset or anxious or…”

“i’ll be fine, mom,” at the bottom of the staircase, andie and carolyn stood face-to-face. amber sunbeams streaking through the house’s tall windows cast saturated shadows upon andie’s pale complexion. “it’s only the back of the neighborhood.”

carolyn refused to admit to her own concerns although they continued to brew inside of her like a peculiar potion. despite being moderately well-liked, andie spent most of her time alone. she never took pleasure in partying, dating or taking risks. the perfect, well-behaved daughter, carolyn could never complain. she just hoped her pride-and-joy was happy.

periodically, carolyn would remind her teenage daughter to revel in her youth, take hold of opportunities that would pass as she grew into adulthood. always adhering to authority, andie would simply nod in response with no intention to divert from her strict routine. focused and driven, carolyn wondered if andie’s attitude was a blessing or a curse.

this was the first time andie had been invited to a sleepover; the first time carolyn and charles would have the house to themselves in years. it would be odd to not hear the muffled sounds of andie’s constantly whirring record player or the pattering of her soles as she tiptoed down to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. excited that andie had a new adventure awaiting her, carolyn felt melancholy. this newfound stillness was what defined joyce byers life. joyce dealt with this stillness not just for one night, but for forever. hawkins had suddenly become dangerous and even though carolyn wanted her daughter to spread her wings, she selfishly wanted to tuck her beneath her own feathers to protect her from any harm.

andie had been so sheltered, she had hardly endured true pain. will’s death had been the first gruesome reality of many that andie would face. a new experience could be fun but carolyn feared it wasn’t the right time. tonight, carolyn worried if both she and her daughter would be able to relax or if they’d grow too overwhelmed by the storm clouds in their heads.

“i want to do this. promise.” rarely had andie done anything for herself. it had taken a catastrophe for her to step outside of her comfort zone.

“alright,” carolyn concurred. trust. that was all a mother and daughter could give each other. leaning forward, she pressed a soft kiss against her daughter’s cheek, “be safe. love you.”

“love you too.” andie stepped through the front door and out into the gold-dusted landscape. above her, the setting sun looked like a low-hanging tangerine threatening to drop from a cloudy branch. its lingering had provided welcoming heat on an otherwise chilly november evening.

loading her duffel bag into the passenger seat of her beetle, andie heard something calling out from the porch. “make sure you let mary and robert know that we appreciate them having you over!” carolyn hugged the corner of the doorframe, half inside the residence.

“okay!” andie coupled her response with the shutting of her car door. quickly looping around to the driver’s side, she slid behind the wheel. before she locked herself in, she was left with a final request.

“and tell maeve i said hello!”

there hadn’t been enough time for andie to turn on her radio. she arrived at the standish residence in under two minutes. part of her wondered if it had been foolish for her to awaken her trusty beetle. gas was expensive, even for the most successful of babysitters.

situated in the back corner of the development, it was only upon closer inspection that the bungalow home seemed to tower above the adjacent structures. modest, yet impressive, the domestic within andie was enchanted by the spacious porch and cherry painted door. red, white, and blue fabric rippled through the air, attached by a bronze pole protruding from the downward slope of the roof. the flag served as a reminder to any neighbor that this estate was undeniably a result of the great, american dream.

an effortlessly perfect, nuclear family with a perfect, suburban home. andie wondered if she and her parents had deceived the world into finding them equally as conventional. the byers had lost that luxury.

cutting the ignition, andie emerged from the privacy of her vehicle. cider-colored maple leaves crunched satisfyingly underneath her stance. while reaching for her belongings, an inky dot in the distance captured her line of sight. although small and unassuming, the dark item disrupted the hues of burgundy and marigold that had swirled themselves across the lawn. it sat like a mistaken stroke of the wrist across a painter’s masterpiece.

andie approached the object with caution. she partially expected the mass to scurry towards a tree or soar into the sky. continuing to remain still as she inched closer, andie was finally able to identify what she had been fixated on.

a shoe?

like “princess” charming, she gathered the t-strap pump from the ground. flecks of dirt clumped around the heel but andie was mindful to scrape them off. sporting a half-smile, curiosity piqued as the always-inquisitive blonde tried to deduce how this piece had lost its pair. after only a few seconds of consideration, her legs began to carry her towards the home’s facade. under the shade of the veranda, she pressed the index finger of her free hand against the button adjacent to the entrance.

a loud bark welcomed her to the standish home first; then, a familiar face. when the door swung against its hinge to reveal the daughter of the house, andie presented the pump like a gift.

“lose a shoe, cinderella?”

maeve released a slight giggle and, in an instant, andie felt warm. her new friend’s presence was reminiscent of being wrapped in a blanket straight from the dryer. arms threw themselves into the space separating the two young girls. they embraced. in that moment, andie realized how deeply she had spent the day craving a sincere hug.

no words needed to be exchanged. maeve knew andie had been hurting. if not for the physical signs of her grief, andie’s unusually apathetic demeanor spoke volumes. perky had always been andie’s default. evidently, perky had faltered. maeve pressed herself closer to andie as andie’s chin gave into instinct, settling above a shoulder blade. neither of the two wanted to be the one to break from this connection.

finally, andie took initiative. separating from each other, andie handed the shoe back to its rightful owner. maeve took it willingly and stepped aside to let the taller girl amble past.

“i’m okay,” andie assured with a sense of confidence. the standish’s beloved pit bull, maybelle, snorted happily as andie greeted her with a quick scratch between the ears. carrying herself and her impossibly large duffel bag into the foyer, the door made a small squeak as it was shut behind her, “and i’ll get better.”

“andrea!” a pleasant voice rang into the front room. both girls’ heads snapped towards the direction from which the sound had spread. maybelle went bounding to spread the news of andie’s arrival. around a corner, andie could barely make out a small shadow fluttering across the floor. both the petite outline and a tender tone that could only result from years of being a caregiver led andie to assume that she was being spoken to by the matriarch of the house. “nice to see you again, how are your parents?”

mary and robert standish had been living in loch nora since before andie had been born. truthfully, andie hadn’t known a life without the happy couple as her neighbors. the pair had a knack for hosting. within the first few months of carolyn and charles peterson’s move, mary and robert had invited them to their labor day barbecue. the bash was a success on all fronts as mary and robert had quickly made friends with the local weatherman and his wife. from that day forward, at any future block party or community event, the peterson and standish adults could always be seen reveling in each other’s company.

“they’re well!” andie grappled with the woven strap that remained slung atop her arm. a subtle nod from maeve instructed her to follow the shorter girl into the living room. “and you and mr. standish?”

“we’re good!” mary met the girls at their destination. finally placing her eyes on andie, mary seemed to marvel at how the toddler down the road had grown into a teen. “i mean, we’re a little worried about everything that’s happening in town but it seems like things are calming down now.”

“of course.” without thought, andie shook her head with a sense of understanding. the scope of will’s passing was immense. every person in hawkins had felt its effects—even if it hadn’t been intense as her own emotions. andie looked to shift the conversation as not to harp on her sadness, or worse, transition into discussing the disappearance of a classmate she had silently betrayed.

“do you guys have any plans for thanksgiving?” one of andie’s hands came to rest on her hip—an assured pose. hoping she hadn’t let on to too much of her guilt, she looked towards her friend as the homemaker began her spirited reply. maeve seemed to read the people-pleaser like her favorite novel. a scrunched brow warned andie of a slight suspicion.

what followed the short conversation with mary was a trip upstairs to unload the cargo. maeve introduced her tidy room with enthusiasm and andie excitedly settled in. as the two discussed their lack of sleepover experience and their new experiences with boys, andie’s troubles also seemed to settle. this felt normal. maeve allowed her to feel normal. a surprising confession about a certain handsome police officer was interrupted by an invitation to dinner.

“don’t think we’re done talking about this,” andie warned in a stern manner. her attitude matched that of the times she had to chastise her babysitting client, dustin henderson, about his excessive talking in class. maeve simply rolled her brown eyes. the combination of sass and color reminded andie of the spice hidden within her favorite gingerbread cookies.

scaling the steps, andie and maeve emerged, yet again, into the heart of the home. a short trip through the living room and a left turn allowed the pair to enter on what could only be described as a feast. instantly, andie was taken aback by the extravagant array of food that had been laid out before her. “your mom didn’t have to do all of this,” she spoke with a whisper, although it was unsure as if she were addressing maeve or the golden-brown roast chicken dominating space on the dinner table.

“she does this all of the time.” maeve and andie shared a faint laugh that would only remain between the two of them. simultaneously, they reached for supplies—napkins for maeve and silverware for andie. it was going to take a village to set the table.

“andrea,” a deeper sound sank upon the all-female cast. robert standish cruised into the room, newspaper tucked beneath his arm. suave and sophisticated, even in the comfort of his own home, andie admired the older man’s natural charm. “how have you been?” it seemed as if he had been trying to ask his essential questions before he was to be inevitably interrupted. andie decided to keep her response similarly concise.

“hi, mr. standish. i’m well, given the circumstances, of course.” she forced a tense, lackluster smile. the less she said, the better.

“mom and dad alright?”

“yeah, they’re great!”

“good, good,” robert lowered the thick-rimmed glasses that had been sitting upon his hairline. they balanced on the edge of his nose for a moment while he came to rest in a chair at the head of the table. before he escaped back to the editorial section, he shot andie a grin.

“make sure to tell your father he’s still the only person i trust to let me know if i should take my car to the wash or let nature do the job for me.”

the previously forced curvature upon her lips relaxed into one of genuine satisfaction. charles peterson of channel five news had certainly made a name for himself in this small-town. andie partially enjoyed being the only-daughter of a local celebrity. the attention was flattering. “i’ll be sure to let him know.”

“now, andrea, i hope you like mashed potatoes,” mary expertly toted two ceramic bowls from the kitchen to the dining room. she placed them on the table without organization, which maeve quickly worked to correct. as mary retreated to gather an additional assortment of steaming platters, she continued to ramble, “i think i may have made a bit too much. i tend to do that, don’t i?”

pausing for a second, her hickory-hued eyes narrowed. it had been a rhetorical question, and yet, it was as if mary was waiting for a response.

“you actually do, mom.” maeve spoke honestly yet still with a sense of gratitude. the reply was met with mary gently squeezing the girl’s forearm – a sign of affection andie typically employed herself.

“sit, sit! i’ve got the rest of this covered. samuel, dinner!” andie and maeve did as they were told, taking a seat next to each other. unfolding her napkin to rest across her lap, andie considered which delicious dish she’d sample first. “oh, and andrea, i’ve got some tupperware so you can bring any leftovers home.”

“mrs. standish,” andie wasn’t sure how much more kindness she could take. it seemed as if the standishes would willingly give the shirts off their backs to their new guest. never had andie felt so welcomed. “i don’t want to be any more of a hassle. you’ve already done so much.”

“oh, sweetheart, you’re no trouble at all. just let me know, it’s not a problem!”

“thank you. i appreciate all of this so much.” reminded of her own mother’s request, andie spoke over the noise of stone china plates clanking as they were placed upon the level, oak fixture. “i also appreciate you guys for having me over. my parents do too. they wanted me to make sure to let you all know.”

speaking out of the corner of her mouth, maeve bopped her head from side-to-side. “you are too nice,” andie’s formalities had proven themselves entertaining to the more casual of the two.

“oh, it is no problem,” how a person could multitask so easily was a feat to the ambitious blonde. she was quickly finding an idol in the homemaking hero. “you are more than welcome to come over whenever you want. right, robert? mae, can you pass the…”

maeve handed her mother what she wanted before she could finish asking. a large, silver serving spoon traveled across the length of the table to sink into a colorful assortment of vegetables.

“right, robert?” mary repeated herself with more determination. her initial suggestion had been met with too much silence.

“right wha—” blinking up from the black-and-white pages, robert looked between his wife and his daughter. he hoped an answer would be found on one of their faces. luckily, he found one within the eyes of their visitor. “of course. absolutely. stop by any time.”

first issuing a look of appreciation towards robert, andie shifted her focus on to the girl to her right. “you’re cool with me coming over whenever?”

“totally. the trundle is yours,” the corners of maeve’s mouth rose to give sight to pearl-white incisors. “i always thought it’d be fun to have a roommate.”

a bolt of energy struck the four individuals in the form of a boisterous boy. it had been like lightning erupting upon a vacant parking lot. “andie?!” seven-year-old samuel standish bounced to andie’s side. andie’s role as the town babysitter often gave her a way to build close relationships with hawkins’ younger residents. samuel was no exception. “i didn’t know magpie invited you to come over! everyone kept talking about this andrea person and i don’t know anyone named andrea.”

“you know what, i don’t know if i’ve met an andrea either,” coupled with a deceptive smirk, andie extended her knit-encased limbs for samuel to fall into. as if on cue, he threw himself onto her. “how are you doing, buddy?”

since maeve’s arrival in indiana, andie had seen samuel less frequently. the standishes weren’t as dependent on andie’s services now that they could rely on a responsible teen of their own.

“great!” the lively little boy seemed to be vibrating. optimism radiated from him. “spider-man is gonna beat the hobgoblin and he’s gonna save everyone at osborn!” he waved the illustrated magazine he was referring to above his head.

“how neat!” following her devotion to caregiving, andie had learned more about superhero comics than she had ever cared to know. if she wanted to have an honest conversation with any child under the age of ten, she quickly realized that she would need to be well-versed in the language of batman, superman, and captain america.

“how’s your web-slinging?”

jutting her wrist forward, andie assumed the masked vigilante’s signature three-fingered hand gesture. samuel matched the motion, accompanying the symbol with a passionate “pew!” andie couldn’t resist, a soft but intense “pow!” escaping her lips.

“nice! i think you got it!”

“really? because i can also do this!”

with a swift turn, samuel leapt into the air. his stubby arms reached above his head while his legs kicked out ahead of him. he continued jumping on his toes and flailing his hands. to andie, it looked as if he were trying to channel his inner kung-fu warrior, not a high-flying friend. still, the sudden acrobatic presentation was amusing.

“samuel,” robert attempted to bring his “super-son” back down to earth with his slight authoritarianism. “you can web-sling after you eat your broccoli.”

switching the light off in the adjacent room, mary was finally ready to dedicate her time to her dinner guests, “alright, i think we are all set if you girls wanna start making yourselves a plate.”

sitting opposite her husband, mary dropped a final few utensils into lonely containers. her action prompted maeve and andie to lean forward to begin cultivating their culinary creations.

“what about the boys?!” samuel had climbed up on to his seat that looked across from maeve and andie. sitting on his knees, which caused him to sway slightly, it was clear he was struggling to make himself seem taller. no one could ignore a giant.

“yeah, what about the boys?” forming an alliance with his son, robert’s eyebrows bumped together in a faux scowl. sure, he was a man of business, but he also knew when to join in on the fun.

“you know the rules: ladies first. always.” mary served her daughter a scoop of potatoes and her husband a wink. robert could only respond with a defeated sigh. reaching out, he tapped samuel’s arm and, further, his attention.

“i think you should jot that down. that’s an important one.”

dinner progressed simply. once all five members had made themselves a plate, a contended silence captured the hall. no one was willing to defy the incredible, calming power of a warm meal. even maybelle laid respectful and noiseless at robert’s feet. the chicken was moist, the potatoes fluffy, the rolls buoyant and the vegetables crisp. andie knew she would be taking up mary’s offer on building a “to-go” plate.

“andrea, how’s school?” as soon as robert released the words, his mouth was left empty. he pressed another forkful of poultry to his lips to fill the unoccupied space.

regretfully, andie took a reprieve from her half-eaten serving. “it’s been great, thank you for asking. i’ve been able to maintain my gpa, thank god,” she pressed her palms together in a speechless, speedy prayer, “and i’m really enjoying my chemistry course this semester. it’s a great break between french and calculus.”

“plus, andie just made class president.” maeve flexed her elbow outward, nudging the bony edge against andie’s ribs. even if andie had wanted to keep herself humble, maeve wouldn’t have allowed it. despite knowing each other for only a few days, the smaller brunette had made it her duty to be one of andie’s biggest fans.

“class president?!” mary clasped her hands together, punctuating her surprise with a startling clap. “how wonderful! congratulations!”

“congratulations,” robert added, “that’s quite an accomplishment.”

“she gave the best closing speech. you should’ve seen it.”

andie recalled standing ahead of her peers. she remembered the podium’s height, the faces in the first row, the way her heart seemed to beat out of her chest. she preached about safety, security, and, above all, equality. she promised punishment for persecutors, justice for the victims– all while sporting an invisible cloak of shame. how was she to help the oppressed when she worked to be an oppressor? how was she to speak out for others when she, herself, had stayed silent?

steve harrington’s venomous label repeated itself in her head.

hypocrite.

pushing aside her remorse, as she had gotten used to, andie issued maeve an appreciative smile. she made sure the expression was sincere enough so that her cheeks exhibited a small dimple.

“and you’re also on the debate team, aren’t you?”

robert’s interest in the youngest peterson made andie eager to engage. he seemed genuinely intrigued by her accomplishments. not only that, but the blonde thrived on any sort of praise.

“yes, sir. it’s one of my favorite extracurriculars.”

“you know, i was the debate captain back in ‘fifty-nine. carried that title through my senior year.”

“of course, i know,” andie rarely involved herself with an activity that she couldn’t research. it was hard to succeed if there were no rules. she had made sure to study the history of hawkins speech and debate before applying to the organization—intent on figuring out what brought the most esteemed members to their greatness. the information she had dug up was dense but allowed her to possess a level of gratitude that no other member could comprehend, “you’re a big inspiration for a lot of kids on the team.”

“inspiration?” two thick brows rose to center on robert’s forehead. his lower jaw hung slightly agape. a gleam of deviltry twinkled within his irises. “you hear that, mary?”

“you as well, mrs. standish. i personally really look up to you.” mary placed a flat hand across her heart. authentic honor. “i mean, if it weren’t for you, none of the girls would even be on the team.”

mary and robert had not only been loch nora legends, but notable figures in hawkins high history. county-wide competitors owed their losses to the high school sweethearts.

“consider it my pleasure. we always need a little more girl power.” glancing towards maeve, then past to andie, an unspoken bond weaved its way between mary and the young women.

the family took turns sharing their favorite memories of high school. maeve chimed in with her own delights, little details of the establishment that she had come to enjoy. samuel, stuck on spider-man, explained what he would do if he were bitten by a radioactive arachnid. it had been hours since andie thought about will.

when the conversation lulled again, andie chose to ask robert about his life. he had been quite interested in her endeavors; she looked to return the favor.

“how has it been at your firm, mr. standish?”

“it’s been alright,” scraping a single spear of a fork across an almost empty plate, robert considered whether to engage the roast chicken in a second round of battle. giving in, he reached forward to unload a hefty sliver of meat onto his dish. “lots of people are hiring lawyers these days after all the…” he trailed off, eyes focused on the bird, not on anyone with whom he shared his nest, “incidents.”

“yeah,” wondering if she was expected to elaborate, andie’s gift of gab made an executive decision. “i heard there might be a case with the sattler company because of…”

all at once, andie’s thoughts grew stale. a haze of fog seemed to spread throughout her skull. for someone who was seemingly so self-assured, so talkative, this was unnatural.

repeating herself lightly, as if only speaking to herself, andie hoped to swivel back on course, “because of…”

static. mist. nothing.

“i’m sorry, i just…” red splotches began to mottle across her nose. the harsh color hastily spread further down her neck. andie had always relied on her brain. she trusted the machine in her head to keep her looking and sounding competent. why on earth was she malfunctioning? she had had days to process the events of this town—she couldn’t blame her actions on shock for much longer. “i lost my train of thought.”

shaking her head, she hoped the jerky movement would rattle the visible proof of embarrassment from her face, “that… never happens.” pushing a gust of air from her lungs through pursed lips, andie reached for a glass of water. most of her day had been spent crying. perhaps this was a side-effect of minor dehydration? “sorry, what were we talking about?”

“just the wonderful world of law.” robert, mary, samuel and maeve seemed unphased by andie’s confusion. they had most likely written off the stumble as a result of stress. andie had spent most of the evening recounting her hectic schedule. she certainly had an excuse to falter every now and then. “long story short, it keeps me busy.”

“and busy is good,” andie added.

“you got it.”

looking towards maeve, andie shrugged her shoulders lightly as if to apologize. for what, she wasn’t sure; and neither was maeve. maeve merely raised her shoulders in a similar fashion, shoveling a final spoonful of dinner towards her face.

“mae, i like this one,” robert wiggled the fork between his fingers in andie’s direction. “i think you better keep her around.”

“that’s the plan,” maeve confidently affirmed.

as the meal wrapped up, and andie requested some leftovers to bring with her in the morning, mary encouraged the friends to enjoy the rest of their evening. this implied that the remaining three standishes were on clean-up duty, to which samuel instantly protested. andie delivered a final “thank you” for the food, the accommodation, and the chat, and the two girls disappeared up the home’s steep staircase.

back in maeve’s room, they changed out of their jeans and into their sleepwear. maeve adorned a crimson, two-piece pajama set with white buttons trailing the midline while andie showcased a pale pink nightgown. the silk ensemble stopped at her knees and was complete with a lace neckline. although stunning, it had been somewhat too proper for such an informal event. but, maeve didn’t seem to care. so, neither did andie.

much to andie’s excitement, she had been asked to pick out the evening’s showing from several iconic musicals; her favorite genre. an added plus was spotting her favorite film within the mix. without a second thought, andie inserted the “xanadu” vhs into the vcr. maeve put on a record and unloaded an excessive amount of junk food onto her bed. one would assume from the daunting heap of sugar that the two girls had been starved. mary’s cooking had a reason to be offended.

minutes slunk by. maeve and andie sunk themselves into the mattress they shared. olivia newton-john may have twirled on screen but the two girls had quickly disconnected themselves from their swirling troubles. being in one’s company seemed to have a positive effect on the other. they balanced and mellowed each other out, their personalities mixing to create a perfect shade of friendship. this harmony remained, even through a stressful phone-call by which andie attempted to convince deputy james houseman that maeve was unavailable in her own home.

things just felt right. andie had never felt so happy to be staying in on a friday night.

flopping on her stomach, andie fumbled with the candy wrapper that had become of immense importance in the event that would forever be known as the “great phone call bluff of nineteen-eighty-three”. the smile she had hoped to be permanent soon faded, weaving itself into the threads quilting the queen-sized bed beneath her. large, feathery mounds, courtesy of maeve’s ruffled comforter, enveloped her slim frame. part of her hoped she’d emerge from the cotton-cocoon free of the misery that she knew would return after tonight. instead, when she rolled on her side to be released from the plushy grasp, she met the world as the same, guilt-ridden teen she had somehow become.

at least, for now, andie wasn’t alone. she could rely on maeve and “patty”—peppermint patty.

delicate fingers plucked a dark chocolate coin from their plastic container. the delight was brought to andie’s lips as she dug her front teeth into the edge of the disk. partially curious whether this was a subconscious tactic by which she could dissuade any confession burning at the tip of her tongue, andie rolled the confection within her mouth, hoping it would mask the flavor of regret. its bitterness remained, although suddenly, andie felt taken by a realization.

maeve standish had invited andie into her home. she had invited her into her room, her mind, her drama—her life. maeve had seen andie at her lowest. arms had cradled her when strained sobs flew steadily, uninhibited, relentless. tears may have stained maeve’s sweater but not her vision of andie. maeve was a friend. maybe the best friend that andie had ever had? maeve had entered into andie’s life and didn’t mind the messes building behind the locked doors in her head. she was just happy to have been invited; just as andie had been.

a new flavor emerged on andie’s tongue that she was unable to swallow.

“can i tell you something? honestly?”

chocolate speckles peppered around andie’s mouth. sucking on her lower lip, she dusted the remaining dark spots from her chin. there was an impossibly long pause before andie’s eyes met maeve’s. apprehension infusing with intrigue. it was a dangerous cocktail and yet, andie had yet to grow intoxicated.

“yeah, of course,” maeve rose from her position and andie followed. polar opposites in physical appearance, it was bizarre for the two girls to stare into what felt like an imaginary, emotional mirror. projecting her smallest finger out in front of her body, andie held her digit erect.

“you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

“andie, you’re scaring me.”

“just… promise.”

tentatively, maeve linked her pinky finger with andie’s. a silent contract. a sturdy oath. a tender agreement.

“i swear. i promise i won’t.”

andie unattached herself from where she and maeve had been connected, her hands moving to rest upon her calves. sitting in a criss-cross position, she fidgeted to find a way to tuck her toes beneath her shins. andie figured she might as well be comfortable for this uncomfortable conversation.

an almost invisible gasp broke andie from her concentration. two green spotlights focused on the stage of maeve’s face.

“wait,” maeve started, uncertain and wary. “are you pregnant?”

“what?!”

andie’s exclamation was instinctual. humor finally seemed to settle upon this intense exchange. shaking her head, andie’s blonde curls swayed against her cheeks. “mae, no! i only had my first kiss on tuesday!”

“oh, yeah.”

maeve smiled sheepishly. resting her elbows on her knees, she lessened the space between her and andie. for as long as andie would live, she would be unable to tell if maeve had asked her question out of genuine interest or if to urge a grin on her companion’s face. deep within her heart, andie knew it was the latter.

“so, you know about that whole situation with brett li? about how he cheated on an exam and barbara holland turned him in?”

“definitely. everyone’s talking about it.”

the uneven edge of andie’s nail scraped harshly against the side of her thumb. red, fraying skin emerged as a result. there was no doubting that with anxiety this tangible, she would be an awful poker player.

“what if i told you i know barbara didn’t do it?”

giant saucers replaced maeve’s eyes. they brimmed, bubbling with hot chocolate that seemed to boil andie alive.

“are you serious?! who was it? how do you know? do i know them?”

a handful of goldfish crackers kept maeve from further channeling her inner barbara walters. choosing to respond to one of maeve’s varying questions seemed to be andie’s safest option.

“i think so.”

“was it steve harrington? he really is such an ass—”

“it wasn’t him.” in fact, this had been the first time that andie knew steve was free from blame. she couldn’t attest to his other blunders.

“was it a basketball player? one of the cheerleaders?”

“no and no,” andie paused. reaching for another chocolate enrobed mint, she was desperate to keep her clammy palms occupied, “you know them pretty well, actually.”

the nervous blonde watched as the gears in maeve’s head turned. clinking and clanking, they seemed to work overtime as she began to solve the mystery out loud: “was it alice? no. i mean, it couldn’t be brendan. could it? brendan and brett have been best friends since…”

“mae, it’s me.”

andie knew she could still run. she could still lie. she could reel it back in and release this catch into the treacherous oceans that made up her mind. relief of solidarity outweighs her shame, prompting andie to stand firmly where she has been planted.

“i turned brett in for cheating.”

“what?”

andie sighed heavily, the warm breath looking to extinguish any remaining doubt. she repeated herself with persuasion.

“i turned brett in for cheating.”

the ten-ton secret had been released. the story was live. knowing she needed to elaborate, andie’s eyes flickered across maeve’s dumbfounded expression. moments passed as she studied her features. mainly searching for judgement and disdain, andie was relieved when she could only recognize shock.

“holy shit, andie.”

allowing maeve a moment to digest this rancid revelation, the taller of the two shifted to sit on her knees.

“everyone thought barb did it. i mean, that’s what he told brendan and brendan told me…”

andie listened. the story that had been seamlessly crafted was being retold to its author. the brunette’s sentence faded away as she reevaluated the realities of this town.

“how did you—”

“i saw him looking at her paper.”

no more assumptions. andie may have written the first draft of this extravagant lie, but she was determined to edit the tainted page with rewrites. honest rewrites.

“i thought he’d eventually find out it was me but when he started accusing barbara i just…” front teeth sunk into a chapped, bottom lip. they kept andie from finishing her thought. she looked down at her lap. subtle reflections of her sorry face shone back at her from the silk fabric of her dress.

“and now she’s missing and i feel horrible and it’s not like i can even take it back or change it or apologize.”

“to brett?”

looking up, it was as if maeve’s two words had introduced andie to a new dilemma.

“to barbara,” andie clarified.

“shit,” the curse word had found itself in a starring role in this conversation. “are you gonna tell him?”

“i don’t know.”

all andie had known was that she had felt lighter. breathing was easy again. her lungs were weightless now that they had expelled the toxins that had been so desperate to be released. she could almost guarantee the burden would reassume its position on her chest if she had been expected to confess to the six-foot-two sports star. intimidation was one of brett’s many talents.  

“i think it’s probably the right thing to do.” maeve knew that wasn’t what andie had wanted to hear. she worked to lessen the blow of her suggestion with an honest expression of her own: “i don’t think you were wrong for turning him in. he shouldn’t get to be valedictorian if he didn’t earn it.”

“yeah?”

“yeah! it’s bullshit!” impassioned, a baked cheddar fish, lost from her grip, flew across the room as maeve spoke with her hands. “especially when you work your ass off.”

lips spread into a thankful smile. appreciation had become a theme for this evening. andie duties may have begun and ended with her own benefit in mind but she lived to have her hard work be recognized. praise was a precious prize.

maeve continued with a softness that worked to soothe andie’s sensitivities, “it sucks that you can’t apologize to barb but you can’t be stuck on that. it’s in the past. we don’t know when she’s coming back and even a week is too long to feel guilty. you have to move forward.”

maeve was right. of course, she was right.

“i think telling brett what happened is a good place to start, especially if you consider him a friend. i think that’s what barb would want you to do.”

shifting to rest her back against her bed’s headboard, maeve released a sensible sigh, “but that’s just what i’d do. it’s hard to open yourself up to criticism. i can’t judge you if you don’t take my advice. i get it.”

andie huffed, falling backwards to stare at up at maeve’s ceiling fan. off-white blades circulated to the same beat that kira and sonny, trapped in the television, kept on their own rollerblades. their constant, dizzying motion made andie nauseous… or maybe it had been the pack of sweets?

“you don’t think i’m a terrible, nasty, vile person?” andie’s voice emerged with the same quality as a child awaiting punishment. each adjective was declared more brutally than the next. a pouty mouth could be heard without even being seen.

“no, i could never,” light laughter sparkled up from maeve as if to challenge andie’s ridiculous claim. she glanced at her friend who had grown fixated on the heavens. “we all make mistakes.”

“i think i made another mistake today,” shifting on her side, andie cradled her flushed cheek. golden ringlets hung over her right shoulder. speaking to maeve had become easier than reciting the alphabet. it came naturally. it felt safe.

“i ran into kyle at will’s—” andie caught herself before she could proceed. she gulped back the remnants of the name she wished she kept buried, “… the funeral. i nearly told him about what happened.”

“kyle walcott?” cheeks stuffed with snacks, andie was unable to tell if maeve expressed contempt or confusion.

“you know, we still haven’t talked about our kiss. which is weird, right? and it’s not like i wanted to talk to him about it there, that would be inappropriate, it just… i don’t know. i feel like we’re connected now. like, like he knows me and… and he’s philosophical!” andie felt herself unraveling. kyle was her kryptonite. “he’s always reading baudelaire. maybe he would’ve judged me, i don’t know, but maybe he could’ve given me a new perspective?” her voice rose on the final syllable. it was unclear if she were asking maeve a question or stating a known fact.

“what?” maeve’s face scrunched up as if she had been asked to survey a carton of old, curdled milk, “my advice wasn’t good enough?”

“hah, shut up!” comedy lessened the severity that andie associated with these subjects. the battles had become easier to face with a partner in crime. “i’m just saying, if he and i have the potential to be a couple…”

“you think so?” maeve asked with pure fascination. the phrase would have sounded malicious coming from anybody else.

“yeah, i think so.”

andie paused.

“i hope so.”

a thoughtful addition. then, another pause.

“i don’t know.”

throwing her head downward to press into an overstuffed accent pillow, a groan broke from andie’s frame. muffled vibrations rumbled across the bedroom. lifting her chin, she looked to further illustrate her predicament, “right as i was about to tell him, he said he had to go do some chemistry homework. i would’ve believed him because trust is obviously important for any budding relationship but i’m his lab partner and i know for a fact kamisky didn’t assign anything this weekend.”

air rushed past andie’s lips to mimic an exasperated sigh, “maybe i was too overbearing or intimidating or…”

“you can’t do that,” maeve interrupted with urgency. andie looked at maeve for an answer before she asked for one.

“do what?”

“blame yourself for what he decides to do.”

whether or not he had expected her to, andie had unloaded much of kyle’s strife upon herself. her care ran much deeper than securing a passing grade on their lab reports.

“i’ve noticed he has a tendency to be a little…” clicking the tip of her tongue against the bottom edge of her teeth, maeve struggled to find a term that wasn’t entirely degrading. finally, she settled on, “aloof.”

“but it’s not your fault,” honey-caramel waves were tucked behind one of maeve’s ears as she looked to elucidate her claim. “i just think you deserve someone who will come to you when they know you’re upset. you should be with someone who doesn’t want to stop talking to you. not someone who walks away.”

reaching into the same crumbled bag that was just as much maeve’s confidant as andie, the frazzled blonde stuffed a few goldfish into her mouth. as she chewed, she spoke, “maybe you’re right.”

“i usually am.”

mutual smiles. reaching across the mattress, andie laid her hand atop maeve’s. fingers curled themselves to issue a gentle squeeze. this was andie’s silent thank you. there wasn’t a single word in the english language that would have been able to properly convey her gratitude.

“but what about you? what happened with james? you still haven’t told me what that call was about.” andie had shared enough about herself. although a sucker for the spotlight, it was time for her to lend her own ears. with hesitation, maeve’s grasp on andie’s hand grew tense. her gaze averted, andie could feel maeve’s distress.

“he… found something out about me that i… didn’t want him to know.” each word seemed to float together like ripples along babbling brook, constantly crashing themselves against sedentary obstacles.

“what do you mean?” even with her vast collection of general knowledge, andie knew she’d be unable to figure out what maeve had been referring to. she hadn’t been given any clues.

“okay, it’s my turn to tell you a secret,” standing from her place, maeve walked the length of her bedframe. arriving at the further end, she turned on her heel, walking back towards the opposite side. she repeated this anxious routine a few times, the sound of her pajama pants shuffling against the floor’s carpeting. andie could merely watch.

“you cannot tell a soul. ever.” maeve’s looked deep into andie’s eyes, “if anyone else were to know this, it would be… awful. i could disappear or something worse could happen.” staring back at maeve were two dense forests, with a hue of green that brought the earth back to life after an unforgiving winter. this was serious.

despite the fear that sizzled deep inside of her, andie assumed a friendly tone. “maeve, i promise,” the affirmation was firm, although, somewhat offset by her impossibly large, dilated pupils. “i swear i won’t tell anyone. is it bad?” she considered not asking what she wanted to know… but she had to know. “did you… do something?”

james was part of the police force. maybe he had caught maeve where she wasn’t supposed to be? her move to hawkins was still a mystery, even to the town’s resident nancy drew. anything could be hiding under the girl’s seemingly ordinary surface.

negation came in the form of a frantic head shake. seconds later, it arrived through verbal language. “no, it’s insane.” sensing andie’s apprehension, maeve returned to her seat next to the blonde. “you’re gonna think i lost it.”

forcefully blowing air through her nose, maeve released what andie perceived as a nervous laugh. she attempted to match the expression with her own chuckle. unfortunately, it came out more panicked than intended.

“i can kind of… make people think… or do things.”

andie scanned the face to her left. worried, owlish eyes, inner brows drawn together, a straight line for a mouth. lips were so pulled rigid that maeve’s prominent cupid’s bow had been flattened. what was the big deal? this was maeve’s great admission? to andie, this hadn’t been a secret. she tried her best not to minimize this situation while on a quest for clarification.

“you mean like persuade people? i can do that. it’s just basics for debate team.” shoulders rose upward as andie wore a crooked, half-smile.

“no, not like persuade. not in the sense that you mean it.” finding the right descriptors had been a present challenge for maeve. “i can make people do or think something by thinking it myself.”

“wait…” andie had read about this before. this was the type of stuff she had researched in order to relate to samuel—the content of stan lee and frank miller comics. “like mind control? maeve, that’s not possible. that’s fiction.” straightening her spine, andie refused to stop staring at the brunette in red. she had noticed that maeve had a tendency to sprinkle hilarity into her conversations. even this evening, she served sarcasm with andie. it was almost like a defense mechanism to maintain peace. perhaps this was some strange joke to lighten the mood.

“okay, look,” maeve placed her palms flat against the bed, pushing part of her weight upon them. andie leaned in with her own sense of interest. before she could stop herself, a string of random numbers flew from andie and into the world. maeve recited the same six numbers in perfect unison: “nine. seven. three. four. two. five. eight.”

springing upward from her spot, andie’s hands flew to clutch over her mouth. what she just spoke did not come from her own mind. the numbers came from someplace else. they had been plucked from nothingness but claimed an ownership that andie couldn’t deny.

“wait—you did that? that’s—” she puddled into a stuttering, blubbering mess. no amount of logic could begin to explain what she just experienced. that’s where andie’s greatest concern lied. “how the hell did you do that?!”

“it’s… i’ve always been able to, since i was a little girl.” andie tried to screw her head back on as maeve spoke rapidly, explaining as if the flames upon her account were seconds away from being stifled. “when i was born, i was just different. i don’t know why. my parents—my birth parents didn’t want me anymore. they said i wasn’t worth that much trouble so they sent me here.”

maeve had seen andie at her worst. now, andie feared the roles had been reversed.

“mary is my mom’s sister, so she’s—”

“your aunt,” andie completed. reminiscent of reaching the last page of an agatha christie tale, the details fell into place.

“yeah,” maeve’s voice cracked. pretending not to watch a single droplet fall from the ever-composed teen, andie worked to suppress a frown. emotion-driven, she was unsuccessful in this pursuit. “dammit.”

tears trickled down maeve’s cheeks as andie watched. long fingers tangled together before untangling, wrists wringing as they danced a messy tango. she didn’t know what to say. she didn’t know what to do. was maeve looking for a solution? advice? like the counseling she spared to andie?

“i understand if you think i’m weird and you want nothing to do with me anymore but just… please don’t tell anyone.” sounding smaller than she ever had, andie’s heart shattered at maeve’s desperate plea. she needed to find the right words. she needed to make sense of this all—and fast.

the clock ticked while the girls stared. deafening silence. maeve had made her feelings known but, for the first time, expressive andie looked blank. shock could mute the loudest of men.

“you can make people think things. you can kind of control people’s minds.” like fallen fruit from a twig, a sentence finally tumbled out from awe-struck andie. “do you parents know?” despite having conformation that maeve had been adopted, she had been referring to mary and robert. her biological parents deserved no mention.

maeve shook her head. “and this is what james—" the opposition; maeve nodded yes.

“oh, wow.”

eyebrows rose to create duplicates of a half-moon. the motion created a crinkle on andie’s forehead that ceased to fade. she blinked, reminding herself that her eyes were open and she was, in fact, awake.

mind control. a big lie. a moment of bravery. a missing girl. a dead child.

was she in hawkins or a haunted house?

maeve’s despairing cry broke andie from her stupor, “andie, please say something.”

she hadn’t come up with the right words yet. she had to go with the first idea that had sprouted from her mind.

“do you want a spot on the debate team?”

maeve’s pained expression fell. color returned to correct her sickly pallor. a miniscule, imperceivable laugh arose from her otherwise motionless chest.

“i’m serious! i will call and kick someone off right now. you could be our secret weapon!” there was no ulterior motive to andie’s claim. what maeve may have thought to be her curse could transform itself into a splendid advantage. “i won’t tell a soul but this is crazy, you know? like, really insane.”

“i know. but i swear it’s true. i use it.. just when i don’t want someone to talk about something or think about something or if i want them to feel differently but i—i never use it for bad stuff. i swear.”

andie could tell that maeve felt an unshakable compulsion to prove her virtue. as if maeve had been talking to a saint. they both knew that shades of gray had dominated andie’s moral compass.

squaring her hands on maeve’s shoulders, andie held the rambling girl at an arm’s length. emerging on andie’s face was a smile so pure, it could cure a plague.

“maeve, i believe you.”

four simple words. the absolute truth.

“i know you’re a good person.”

andie rationalized that everyone had something special about them. everyone was unusual. she, herself, had a photographic memory. so, what if maeve could change someone’s opinion at will? none of that erased the fact that maeve had been one of the most genuine people andie had ever met. it didn’t erase maeve’s altruism, her warmth, her courage. she was still smart, supportive, and fiercely independent. she was still maeve standish, the most understanding girl she’d ever met. her best friend.

maeve wrapped her arms around andie, pulling her in tightly. she squeezed the blonde the same way in which office workers clench onto elastic, stress balls. andie returned the sentiment with her own eagerness.

“you’re my best friend,” andie affirmed, one of her hands sliding over the bony protrusions on maeve’s back. “you’re a good person.”

“thank you, andie.”

andie was unsure if maeve would ever let go but she knew it no mind. she was happy in maeve’s embrace. she was her favorite version of herself.

taking a note from maeve’s emotive journal, andie’s wide smirk shaped what she chose to speak, “so… about debate team…”

maeve finally separated from andie, instantly plucking a lonely goldfish cracker to fire towards an unassumingly facetious face. a shrill yet playful squeal broke from andie as she grabbed the yellow aquadweller from where he fell to toss it back at maeve. a parade of flying fish. this act continued, drowning out the noise from the tv that remained unphased through it all.

falling into cheerful contentment, as they always would, andie knew she had made the right decision. she knew she placed her trust in someone who deserved it, in someone who would help her through anything. she knew she had a friend for life… and a surprisingly comfortable trundle, if her mattress at home proved to be insufferable.

•••

style inspiration: IN PROGRESS!

song inspiration: https://bit.ly/2GRANa4

[dandyandiepeterson]

— THEY TELL ME THAT IT’S GOOD FOR ME, BUT I DON’T EVEN CARE

( hip to be square, huey lewis & the news )

•••

: : BRETT LI, 16 : :

( the valedictorian that would’ve been, ross butler )

•••

i. BASIC INFORMATION

» full name: brett alexander li

» nicknames: b, “li”, “four” (a reference to his jersey number)

» age: sixteen

» birthday: august fourth, nineteen-sixty-seven

» birthplace: hawkins, indiana

» zodiac sign: leo

» current residence: hawkins, indiana

» gender: cis male

» occupation: for most of the series, brett is a full-time student at hawkins high school, basketball player for the hawkins high school tigers and an elementary and middle school tutor. in the summer of nineteen-eighty-five, brett works a part-time retail job at “herman’s world of sporting goods” in starcourt mall.

ii. HEALTH

» physical health: brett’s physical and mental health are exceptional. his participation on the hawkins high basketball team allows for him to retain his strength and agility. in his spare time, brett likes to work-out to maintain his physique.

» scars: brett has a small, horizontal scar on his right knee. he can’t remember where he received it from but guesses it is a result of him constantly playing sports as a child.

» broken (any) bones: brett has never broken a bone.

iii. MENTAL HEALTH

» extrovert or introvert: brett is intensely extroverted. his charisma is unmatched, making him very likable. he frequents house parties and other social events that his peers conduct. thriving off being the center of attention, brett will talk to anyone about anything. part of brett worries that if he is left by himself for too long, his insecurities would swallow him alive.

» logical or creative: brett leans more towards the logical end of the spectrum. this can be attributed to his interest in academia. to brett, objective subjects like math and science are more compelling than music and art.

» optimist or pessimist: when we first meet brett, he is an optimist. as hawkins’ golden boy, brett has rarely faced real strife. this fortune provides him with a very sunny outlook on life. after his cheating scandal is made public, brett becomes cynical. the hope he held in himself and the world failed, swaying him to pessimism.

» phobias / fears: brett would never publicly admit that he fears anything as not to look weak. still, he is not fond of snakes or the dark. more personally, brett is terrified of failure, being alone, making a fool of himself and being a disappointment to his family.

» problems: though undiagnosed, brett displays minor characteristics of depression and imposter syndrome.

iv. PERSONALITY

» goals / dreams: brett’s main goal is to some day live in california. he first visited the golden state on a family vacation at age eight and always knew it was where he belonged. each year, he makes an effort to visit under the guise of researching potential colleges. as for college, brett would most like to attend stanford university. he knows his parents won’t settle for anything less. while brett is hopeful to make his family proud, he presumes he’d still be happy as a ucla or berkley student.

» quirks / habits: he has a tendency to stick his tip of his tongue out when he’s concentrating. he crumbles up napkins and squeezes on to them when he’s anxious. he keeps a picture of his younger sisters in his wallet at all times. he kept the pencil andie left behind the night they shared their first kiss. “pale blue eyes” by the velvet underground almost always makes him cry. he never takes cream or sugar when drinking tea. he always reads the last page before beginning a new novel.

» likes: sports (namely basketball), road trips, his ferrari, debate team, his letterman jacket, malibu rum, summer time, his body (mainly his arms), tom petty & the heartbreakers, pineapple, the smell of sunscreen, top twenties music, parties, calculus, action movies, biology, clean classrooms, the ocean, cookies and cream ice cream, roller-coasters, cheerleaders, decorating his locker, watching the sun set, golden retrievers, jasmine tea, excelling (especially in school), diet coke, being the center of attention, flirting, beer pong, star wars, mike & ike candy, historical documentaries, getting tan, going to the movie theater, his little sisters, doing better than andie on exams, vivaldi, public speaking, kim basinger, the moon, his mother’s cooking, being able to dress up for an event, good manners, science-fiction novels, late-night drives, sarcastic humor, blondes, swimming, working out, sunny days, the beach, jogging, obscure trivia

» dislikes: strawberries (he’s allergic), cold rain, doctors office waiting rooms, being vulnerable, reality tv, losing, fast food, feeling unattractive, his parent’s unnaturally high expectations for him, dark chocolate, crying, feeling inadequate, bad drivers, murder mysteries, classic english literature, abandoned places, dishonesty

» flaws: brett has a tendency to be quite arrogant. he is attractive, smart and charming— and he knows it. he can act out erratically if he gets angry or upset. he’ll say things he doesn’t truly mean just to hurt people who hurt him. he can hold on to grudges for a very long time. although seemingly confident to the world, it is very easy for him to feel jealous of others who can perform better than him.

v. FAMILY

» parents: benjamin li (father, fc: b.d. wong), constance “connie” li (mother, fc: tamlyn tomita)

» sibling(s): crystal li (younger sister, fc: amanda evans), june li (younger sister, fc: amanda evans)

» children: n/a.

vi. APPEARANCE

» height: six feet, three inches

» weight: one hundred and eighty one pounds

» eyes: deep brown

» hair: black

» face and complexion: brett is of chinese descent. he has thick black eyebrows and toffee colored eyes that always seem to twinkle. two dimples pucker at his cheeks when he flashes a wide grin. his jawline stays defined no matter what face he’s making. despite living in indiana, he always appears to be slightly sunkissed.

» build: tall, fit and toned — brett’s muscles are defined as a result of his years of being an athlete.

» defining marks: brett has a thousand-watt smile that can blind a room. he is especially proud of the size of his biceps. when he spends time in the sun, a light peppering of freckles emerge across the bridge of his nose.

» dress style: brett’s style is typical of a teenage boy growing up in the nineteen-eighties. many neutral t-shirts, slogan t-shirts and loose-fitting shirts occupy his closet. he’s almost always in jeans and white, high-top sneakers. he owns a navy blue members-only jacket, a bomber jacket and a jean jacket. frequently, he can be seen wearing his army-green letterman jacket. every now and then, brett can be seen embracing his preppy side by sporting a polo shirt and slacks. during the winter, he is not ashamed to put on a comfy, knit sweater. he doesn’t wear many bright colors as his stunning personality already attracts a lot of attention. hawaiian shirts are solely reserved for summer. he cites tom cruise as his “style icon”.

» faceclaim: ross butler

vii. ROMANTIC & SEXUAL

» marital status: never been married.

» sexual preference: exclusively heterosexual.

» ever had sex: yes. brett lost his virginity his freshman year of high school to his then girlfriend, morgan lawson. they had been dating exclusively for three months. alternatively, brett takes andrea peterson’s virginity in the spring of nineteen-eighty-four. after his disastrous break-up with andie, brett turns to casual sex. the intimacy helps to boost his fragile ego and numb the pain of losing someone he had loved. upon his reconciliation with his ex-girlfriend, brett ceases his reckless activity, though not fully eradicating the occasional hook-up.

» opinion on sex: brett primarily views sex as an informal activity. he is an attractive, teenage boy with hormonal urges — it’s bound to happen. the only time sex has meant anything to brett was when he was with andie. particularly after his break-up, brett uses sex as an outlet for him to feel wanted. despite his claims that “sex doesn’t mean anything”, he slowly dials back these pursuits as he grows older and makes a conscious attempt to limit himself to make-out sessions.

» opinion on relationships: brett will only start a relationship with someone when he feels a true connection. he’s very particular about who he dates. much of his time is spent playing sports or studying, so his feelings must be legitimate before he is willing to take time away from these interests. additionally, his family is strict about who their son spends time with. brett would never take a girl to meet his parents unless he truly loved her.

» turn ons: blondes, deep conversations, trust, kindness, intelligence, girls who can match his wit, staying up all night to talk on the phone, confidence, a sense of humor, matching bra sets, when a girl wears his clothes, good banter, neck kisses, girls who tell him he’s great, brushing a girl’s hair away from her face, girls who are good with kids, decisiveness, girls who don’t instantly fall in love with him

» turn offs: girls with no ambition, girls who act entirely disinterested, being told he’s wrong, being interrupted, pretending to be dumb, too much perfume, constant negativity, tattoos, smoking cigarettes, insulting his family or interests, close-minded individuals, people chewing with their mouth open, constant lies

» past relationships: brett dated morgan lawson for five months at the start of his freshman year in nineteen-eighty-two.

» current relationship: at the start of nineteen-eighty-three, brett is single.

» future relationship(s): andrea peterson (fc: lili reinhart)

viii. FRIENDSHIP

» big group of friends or several close friends: brett has a big group of friends. he is a social chameleon, seemingly fitting in with every clique. this versatility, although beneficial in maintaining his popularity, has proven difficult for brett to form lasting relationships with anyone. most of the jocks don’t understand why he is interested in school while the only similarity he has with the nerds is his good grades.

» best friend: brett’s closest and longest friend is brendan lyle. the two boys met when they were six years old. they were placed on the same little league baseball team. most of their time was spent dawdling in the outfield, throwing grass and cracking jokes at each other. as they grew older, brendan continued to pursue baseball while brett shifted his interest toward basketball. one thing that never faltered, though, was their bond.

» ever lied to a friend: brett is known to tell the occasional white lie to get what he wants. he frequently lies to his parents about his whereabouts as not to disappoint them with his antics. they have a hard time letting their straight-a son watch cable television; brett’s sure they’d faint if they knew he was out drinking on the weekends. the biggest lie he’s told himself and others is that he was over his long-time girlfriend, andrea peterson.

» the most horrible thing they did to a friend: brett will often say rude things about individuals who lay beneath him on the social ladder to better fit in with the jocks. when his infamous cheating scandal goes public, brett allows for the entire school to turn barbara holland into a pariah. barbara and brett were never friendly to begin with but he personally allowed for gross amounts of outrage to be sent her way. uncertain if she was truly the one to turn him in, brett uses barbara as a means to release his anger. while dating andrea peterson, brett occasionally issued a series of minor, light insults in regard to her bossy personality. he had no intention of being malicious to his girlfriend but, sometimes, his lack of a filter got the best of him.

» list of friends:

; andrea peterson ( classmate - future girlfriend / lili reinhart )

; maeve standish ( classmate / zoey deutch / @missbemaeve )

; nancy wheeler ( classmate / natalia dyer )

; steve harrington ( classmate / joe keery )

; brendan lyle ( classmate - best friend / noah centineo / oc )

; morgan lawson ( classmate - ex-girlfriend / laura harrier / oc )

; cameron reynolds ( classmate / nick robinson / oc )

ix. MORALITY

» ever been drunk: brett has been drunk on multiple occasions. he has been attending house parties since he was a freshman. he chooses to limit his consumption as not to "ruin” his sculpted body. no matter how much criticism he gets, he will always claim that malibu rum is the best brand of liquor.

» lied to a significant other: brett remains honest in all of his relationships.

» cheated on significant other: even though he may cheat on exams, brett has never cheated on a significant other. he finds the act despicable.

» gotten into a fight: brett has a slight temper that he can’t always hide. extremely defensive of his loved ones, brett refuses to ignore any type of hostility that is sent their way. following the news of andie's dishonesty to brett, many of brett’s basketball teammates unnecessarily took it upon themselves to carry brett’s upset with them. during practice, they would frequently refer to andie with vile names and degrade her to hopefully boost brett’s damaged ego. while he was filled with rage at the circumstances of their break-up, brett couldn’t ignore the fact that he still loved the blonde. these hateful expressions did nothing but fill him with more dread. fed up with their immaturity, brett took a stand against a freshman who refused to stop when asked. before he knew it, and without really thinking, brett’s fist slammed straight across the young boy’s face, breaking his nose. brett made his teammates promise not to relay what had happened to the student body, andie or their coach but made them swear to keep andie’s name out of their mouths. from that day forward, no one dared to speak out against his ex-girlfriend.

» deepest regret: brett regrets the way he treated andie when he first found out that she was the one to turn him in for cheating. he not only regrets leaving her at the lake but for what he said to her following the confession and ignoring her for months because he knew it would break her heart.

» religion: the li family is christian. brett is required to regularly attend church with his family but he otherwise does not practice the religion nor does he believe in the principles. worship is trite to brett who mostly identifies as agnostic.

x. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

» instagram (as if they were living in the modern day):

» inspiration: jackson marchetti (sex education), zachary dempsey (thirteen reasons why), archie andrews (archie comics), finn hudson (glee), troy barnes (community), michael kelso (that ‘70s show)

» gifboard:

» people:

» playlist(s): https://bit.ly/2JE0OJp

#brett li #bio

[dandyandiepeterson]

– AND I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO KNOWN YOU BUT I WAS JUST A KID

( candle in the wind, elton john )

•••

ix. attending will byers’ funeral

•••

andrea peterson had never been to a funeral. today, she would be attending one for a twelve-year old boy.

her favorite twelve-year old boy.

andie had beat the sun to rise by at least two hours. the rays had only just begun to peer through her sheer curtains to splay gentle streaks of gold across her despondent face. andie desperately wished that she could squeeze her eyes shut until the only stars she could see were the ones bursting upon the blackness of her eyelids. she wanted nothing more than to drift slowly a fantasy world, where children didn’t go missing and the only “celebration of life” was a birthday. unfortunately, her agenda, both mental and physical, insisted otherwise.

since will’s disappearance, andie had uncharacteristically been plagued by nightmares. she had dreamt of people drowning – their faces and voices indistinguishable as they sunk deeper into an inky sea, pleading for her to help. in other dreams, she had watched sinister shadows chase after her loved ones. their incessant haunting would drive her mother, her father, her friends to hysteria which flooded andie’s senses but somehow paralyzed her from taking action. the most terrifying were the dreams in which she had been trapped within a spider’s web. no matter how hard she struggled, flailing her arms and kicking her legs, she couldn’t break free from the sticky map of silk. she was destined to wait for the black widow to return—to consume her with venom.

part of andie was thankful that she couldn’t sleep. the other part of her was desperate for an escape from reality.

andie rolled on to her side, ignoring the awkward pain that resulted from shifting too much weight on to her forearm. the bold, crimson “7:47am” on her alarm clock seemed to brand itself on her forehead, searing past the thin, porcelain skin and into her hazy brain. she flipped to her back, watching as her ceiling fan continued to turn. her weary eyes attempted to focus on a single, ivory blade, wondering that if she dizzied herself enough, she could somehow be hypnotized into thinking that life would be okay—that she would be okay.

“it would have to be okay,” she reminded herself.

her plan was disrupted by a brisk knock at her bedroom door.

“andie-candy, you up?”

andie used her elbows to push herself upright in bed, still snuggling as best as she could into her multi-colored quilt. “come in,” she croaked. even she was shocked at how pathetic she sounded.

a small squeak emerged from her golden doorknob as it turned to be perpendicular to the floor. it only took a second before charles peterson moved into the room, standing in the arched door frame that had previously been boarded up. he didn’t move from his spot, obviously waiting for his daughter’s permission.

“it’s almost eight, sweetheart. are you ready to start getting ready?”

andie’s stomach couldn’t help but lurch at the sweetness that seemed to overflow from her father. she understood that he literally got paid to be positive and objective, even when certain, environmental death was looming, but wished he would allow himself more sympathy.

it wasn’t as if his support wasn’t enough. it was almost too much—like maybe he was trying too hard to remain chipper. andie just wanted more of an excuse to wallow.

lost in intertwining two loose threads from her blanket, andie forgot to reply to her father’s inquiry. upon additional introspection, andie knew that she had simply wanted to ignore that this day had even started.

“your mother has some shoes laid out for you. they’re really nice. actually, i think they’re the ones she wore to our engagement party.” andie couldn’t see her father in the dim lighting but she could only imagine the reminiscent grin that was bound to splayed across his jaw. “or wait… no, those were blue…”

charles’s hand moved to scratch at his bare chin. he had shaved for today’s occasion, leaving his face to look more youthful. he took a moment to retreat into his head, dusting off the ancient boxes that held precious memories of him and his wife. still, andie sat, her spine aligned in a perfect, vertical line. while she may have been composed in posture, she was anything but.

the silence grew too loud for andie. it had convinced her to be alone with her thoughts again.

will had gone missing. he had been gone for days before his tiny body had been found rotting at the bottom of a murky quarry. all alone, his last moments were probably spent in fear.

barbara holland was also missing. where would her body be found? was she in fear? andie felt guilty to hope that whatever emotion barbara had been facing had been easier to handle that the unnecessary pain andie had put her through.

andie attempted to hush the thunderclaps in her mind, find solace from the storm, but instead found herself stuck in the downpour of despair. droplets began to spring from her eyes. she soaked her sheets with the quiet rainfall.

“or maybe they were… i don’t know, we’ll have to ask her later… andie?”

andie finally replied but only with a sharp, shuddering sob. her shoulders began to heave as she tried to shrink herself down. she wanted to disappear— either into the darkness or the obnoxiously colorful covers that were draped across her body.

charles refused to wait for further instruction, instead rushing over to his daughter’s side. he wrapped his arms around her quivering frame and she instinctively buried her face into his neck. she continued to weep, swallowed by her sadness and the familiar cologne that had been dabbed underneath the collar of her father’s dress shirt. the woodsy warmth and spice intermingled with her salty tears, making for a depressing cocktail. andie didn’t dare to break from this comforting embrace, even upon realizing that she had left distinct marks of saturation on her father’s shoulder.

“it’s alright,” he whispered, unsure what other words could be used to ease his anxious daughter’s worries. he usually relied on his wife to handle these situations. “mom and i are here. you’re not alone.”

though simple, the sentiment seemed to act as a remedy for andie’s heartbreak. she wasn’t alone. although she had lost a friend, others remained to bear her burden.

andie lifted her head, allowing her father to finally get a good look at her. with her bloodshot eyes that housed enough remaining tears to flood an ocean, she looked just as miserable as she had sounded when she invited her father to enter the room. he placed his hand on andie’s blotchy cheek, hoping his cold palm would allow for the same type of relief that his words had.

“life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. trust me, i know. but that’s why they invented umbrellas: to help us get through the storm to see those rainbows.”

andie released a fragile sigh as her father released her from his grasp. she would have known that her father was proud of his weather-based analogy even if he could suppress his goofy grin. she didn’t doubt that he would be sharing the same sentiment the next time something went amiss at his news station.

“i took the day off,” he picked a piece of dust off his black slacks. if a miniscule speck was of concern, andie wondered how her father would react towards seeing the large water stains that she had so graciously gifted to him. “i thought that maybe after the service, me, you and your mother could out to eat. maybe that place on main that you love so much?”

andie had never seen her father try to hard to make her happy. while she would describe charles as a good dad, his strict work schedule required him to be somewhat absent. frequently, he would forget which classes she was enrolled in, flounder when he was asked which ivy-league she aspired to attend or absent-mindedly arrive home from the grocery store with cartons of ice cream flavors his daughter had continually told him she didn’t like.

it wasn’t entirely charles’s fault. andie knew that she was partially to blame for their tepid yet traditional relationship. she had inherited her father’s tendency to put on blinders and throw himself into work.

“i can’t.” andie used the back of her sleeve to wipe at the remaining fluid that had settled beneath her nose. despite still being terse, she found it somewhat easier to speak without a large lump of tears constricting her airways. “i have plans.”

“plans? why wasn’t i invited?”

“it’s a sleepover. with maeve.”

the mere mention of her new friend allowed for a whisper of a smile to pull at the corners of her chapped lips. while andie had not been looking forward to this day since she had found out about will’s untimely demise, she knew she had a reward if she was somehow able to survive.

not only was maeve a lovely, calming figure in andie’s life but the sleepover would finally give andie an excuse to unwind. even if she refused, maeve wouldn’t let her continue behaving as anxiously as she had. she was too caring.

“maeve? maeve who?”

“maeve standish.”

“who?”

andie couldn’t help but roll her tired eyes at her dad’s blatant ignorance. she knew not to take it personally—he had yet to learn morgan’s name, and the two girls had been friends since they were five.

“she’s been here before, dad.” andie paused to stare at the orange leaves that swirled like streamers outside of her window. the bittersweet, autumnal colors seemed to beg andie to spend the entire day soaking in their warmth. always the genius, andie could not be convinced. she knew of the horrors that waited once she stepped from her bed.

andie refrained from providing any further specifics to her father. the last thing she wanted, or needed, was to recount the night maeve had stopped by to let her know of will’s death.

that evening had been the most horrible evening of andie’s life.

“alright. is she coming here or are you going over there?”

andie knew that this wouldn’t be the first question in her father’s interrogation. at the advice of her mother, charles had always been told to show more interest in andie’s life. asking questions was the way that he showed that he cared, even if he didn’t always remember how his daughter answered.

“there.”

“does she live far?”

“back of the neighborhood.”

“does your mother know?”

“yes.”

“did you pack an overnight bag?”

“it’s by my dresser.”

“and you’ll be okay to go?”

the banter was quickly halted by the final question. andie averted her gaze to glare at her raw, angry cuticles. one of her unfortunate habits was picking at the thin, white skin whenever she was apprehensive. as she replied, her index finger scratched at the ledge where her thumb nail met flesh.

“yes.”

andie wasn’t sure if she was necessarily “okay” to do anything but this wasn’t going to stop her from partaking in something she knew she felt she would enjoy. she rarely took time for herself. now, more than ever, she would at least try.

charles watched his daughter grow reclusive. although he hadn’t been convinced, he held trust that his only daughter wouldn’t lie to him.

“alright.”

he leaned forward to press a delicate kiss to andie’s forehead. the expression of affection made andie’s own lips pucker themselves into a soft, nearly invisible smile. after, he stood to his feet. his shiny loafers pushed into the hard-wood floor allowing the lacquered planks to creak beneath him.

andie almost wished that her father had more useless questions. it would allow her to delay the necessary measures she needed to take to prepare for the dreadful day ahead.

charles stopped before exiting andie’s room, his eyes flickering over a bunching of onyx fabric that had been draped over the back of a desk chair. even in the darkness, he could tell the material was made of velvet. the neckline, which mimicked a short turtleneck design, and sleeve portions of the dress had been created with black tulle, providing a transparent illusion. the netted fiber was prickled with small, velvet dots to make the ensemble look more whole. it was a shaped fit with a zipper leading from the middle of andie’s neck to the small of her back. without looking too stifling, yet still appropriate, the dress flared off at andie’s kneecaps, which would be covered by a pair of equally dark tights.

as stunning and timeless as the dress was, it would remain covered by a thick, straight-fitted, wool reefer coat. this ensured andie’s protection from the biting november chill.

“is that the dress you’re going to wear?”

andie shook her head yes. the motion sprung her mused curls into action, bouncing gleefully despite being attached to an unhappy girl.

charles adorned a tight smile. andie couldn’t help but wonder if the severity of today’s events had finally hit him. so wrapped up in her own emotions, she had yet to consider how difficult today would be for her own parents. it had to be painful to attend a funeral for a child with your own child.

“pretty.”

down the hall, a voice echoed: “charles, is she up?” there was a short pattern of pattering before carolyn appeared next to her husband. the pair stood in the deep yellow hues of the hallway, merely silhouettes to andie who had yet to turn on the lamp perched on her bedside table.

“could you help me with my…” as carolyn turned her back to charles, her fingers fumbling with the pesky clasp of an understated, gold necklace, she finally noticed the ghostly outline of her daughter. her shoulders drooped almost as quickly as her outward expression. it was as if her daughter’s grief had launched a physical attack on her senses.

carolyn attempted to counteract her look of mourning with a positive tone.

“hey, sweetheart. i have some shoes for—”

“i know.”

most of the car ride to the cemetery was spent in somber silence. no one found it to be appropriate to turn on the radio. andie’s devastation had seemed to infect the interior of the peterson’s chevrolet, using every inhabitant as a host.

the blonde sat in the back row of the mid-sized car, a perfect median cast between her parents in the front two seats. the car’s leather interior chilled her thighs although they had been encased by thick black wool tights. for the past three days, it seemed as if andie’s whole body had been frozen, unwilling to thaw. a parade of stratocumulus clouds marched upon the previously clear sky; keeping andie ice-cold had seemed to be the world’s top priority.

“crowded,” charles commented upon turning the corner into the church’s parking lot. his voice held neither frustration nor shock—rather he was making a comment. the car jostled harshly as it piloted atop the uneven gravel, upsetting andie’s already queasy stomach.

“should we have left earlier?” carolyn’s inquiry reached andie through the sun visor’s mirror. she watched her mother struggle to decorate herself with a pair of diamond earrings. the car’s irregular movements had clearly proven its discomfort to both women. for a second, andie’s eyes caught hold of her mother’s. it was as if she had caught a spy.

“i think we’re fine, carrie—” as if the nickname had been some sort of trigger, carolyn interrupted her husband’s train of thought with a sharp “wait, there!”. it took no longer than a second for the man to take the cue, swiftly turning the wheel between his hands to pull into an almost invisible parking spot. “got it.” soon after the words were released, he turned the ignition off, allowing the car’s motor to cease its rumbling.

the family remained in uncomfortable stillness. andie wondered if they had all made an unspoken pact to hold their breath. maybe the engine had been in disguise as a communal ventilator? none of the peterson’s wanted to lead their personal processional—not even their usually determined daughter. andie watched as her father fumbled with the car keys and her mother blotted her plum-toned lips. she grew disheartened, dropping her chin, as she only item she could busy herself with seemed to be her swarming thoughts.

“you alright, hon?” andie instinctively lifted her gaze from her lap. staring back at her were her mother’s pair of eyes with a thousand hues of blue. their comfort stuck andie like a sailboat thrusting upon a patch of calm sea.

“i’m fine.” the words had forcibly pushed themselves out of her body just as a cough or a sneeze. it had evidently been an involuntary response. andie had had years of practice pretending that she was okay when she was not.

andie’s pale cheeks prompted carolyn to reach around the back of her seat to splay her palm across her daughter’s shoulder in a reassuring gesture. she let her fingers squeeze lightly around the velvet enrobing the bony joint. andie could remember her mother doing this to her since she was a child. it was a symbol of carolyn passing on her strength to andie. andie didn’t have to hear her mother narrate what she was doing to understand what had occurred.

the tender maternal moment was disturbed by the sound of the family patriarch creaking his door open. the two women, whether they wanted to or not, followed in suit.

charles, carolyn and andie kept their heads down but their strides long. huddling together, the three-membered unit crossed the street. their all-black attire must have made them look like a sooty mass of smoke pumping from a halted car’s exhaust pipe.

across from the church where they had parked sat a withering field, punctuated by a remarkable array of headstones. andie willed herself to avoid reading the names engraved on the blocks of granite. this situation was already too surreal, the last thing she needed was to see the name “william byers” on one of these figures of finality. as her head began to swim with the realization of what she was walking into, she grew nauseous at the thought of having to endure this afternoon with an open casket.

a crowd of at least fifty others stood beneath a naked oak tree. andie knew that her and her family were expected to join them. “it is crowded,” her mother whispered. she spoke in the same vein that her father had just a few minutes earlier.

“the kid was loved.” charles may have been replying to his wife, but he shared the words directly with andie. she focused on him just long enough to watch as tears began to collect at the corners of his usually cheerful eyes. simultaneously, she felt her mother and father reach for opposite hands. the four sets of fingers became entangled, an unbreakable human chain being formed. she could tell her parents had never felt this lucky to have her.

the interconnected trio finally emerged upon the gloomy collection of people and, almost instantly, began conversing with a neighbor. charles’ status as a local celebrity had always allowed him to gain attention—whether he wanted it or not. andie watched as her parents shared their condolences for the circumstances that they were meeting under, their friends returning the sentiment in a hushed manner. charles and carolyn were so personable and warm and yet andie still felt like she had been trapped in an ice cube. for once, andie remained quiet, fading into the background. she assumed it easier to let her mother and father do all the necessary talking.

surveying the audience, andie came to the realization that she knew most of the individuals in attendance. while this was expected in a small town, this understanding made the impact of today more personal.

she noticed her classmates, children she had babysat, their guardians and her teachers. people who worked in the mom-and-pop shops on main street, the hawkins middle school librarian and even the owners of “the hawk” movie theater had made it out for today’s affair.

across the lawn stood two more familiar faces: those of mr. and mrs. holland. they stood isolated from the rest of the gathering, bundled in a heap of shadowy coats. despite the unexpected disappearance of their daughter, even they found it within their hearts to attend this dismal ceremony. upon spotting their pair, andie’s depression was replaced with an overwhelming sensation of guilt.

in spite of the tragedy of will byers, andie hadn’t forgotten what she had done to barbara holland. she hadn’t forgotten her own act of selfish cruelty. she had continued to hold on to the secret that would’ve proven barbara’s innocence in the case of brett li’s cheating scandal. she had intended to take it to the grave.

now, with barbara having vanished into thin air, she felt even more remorse for what she had done. andie wondered if the ostracization barbara had received as a result of being forced to be a scapegoat had influenced her decision to flee. part of andie knew it was irrational to think this way; this theory only made her look more selfish. yet, if it was true, she would never be able to forgive herself.

andie wasn’t sure how much longer she could carry this shame on her own. just as she had overflown with emotion when she heard of will’s fate, she was sure her emotional floodgates would soon burst. she was just curious as towards who would be so unlucky to be engulfed in her tsunami of truth.

a gentle tap on andie’s lower back made her to turn to face a young girl. the tiny figure cradled a bundle of yellow roses, the color of the flower matching andie’s windswept curls. she plucked one from the bunch and held it out to the anxious teen who towered above her.

“for will.”

a shaky breath exited andie’s lungs. she let her eyelids fall, resolving to not let this innocent child see her sob. when she opened them, her vision was foggy, attempting to adapt to the saturated film blurring her irises. with a trembling hand, she took the flower, holding it close to her torso like a treasured teddy bear.

“for will,” she repeated, more quietly than when it was first expressed.

a man in a black robe called for awareness from where he stood. all those who had spread out across the landscape were suddenly drawn to the announcement like a magnet. as andie moved closer, she could distinguish six folding chairs sitting in front of a clean wooden burial box. she couldn’t help but release a sigh of relief when she noticed the casket to be closed.

the byers family emerged from the crowd and took their seats in the front row as the rest of the attendees congregated behind them. andie noted the symbolism in this layout—it seemed as if she and the others in attendance were providing a safety net for joyce, jonathan and anyone else who had been granted a chair.

it was what they needed. it was what they deserved after facing life’s deepest horror.

andie felt fortunate to only be staring at the back of joyce’s head. she feared what heartache she’d endure if she had been forced to stare into her blank, lifeless eyes.

the priest began with his sermon as andie and her family respectfully listened. his white stole flapped in the wind, nearly knocking over the crucifix of white and yellow roses to his left. “how, if he is truly benevolent, would god take from us someone so young, so innocent?”

andie had the same question on repeat in her head. what had will done to deserve this fate? what crime had the byers committed to have this type of terror thrust upon them?

“it would be easy to turn away from god, but we must remember that nothing, not even tragedy, can separate us from his love.”

religion may have served as a modality of peace for some, but not andie. positive that she would never find it, her deepest hope was to have a logical, rational explanation as towards why this had happened.

not a single member of the peterson family had emerged from the ceremony with a dry eye. after the formal proceedings ended, charles, carolyn and andie approached the byers to share their sympathy. again, andie allowed for her parents to speak on her behalf, afraid that if she was to open her mouth, an unstoppable wail would emerge.

“we don’t know what to say,” charles spoke softly, stuffing his hands in his pockets. as charismatic as he was, even he wished he had a teleprompter to read the right words to the grieving family. “this is horrible. i can’t imagine what you’re all going through.”

joyce and jonathan had shirked away from the conversation, potentially too overwhelmed by the others who had made it their duty to share their own comforting sentiments. this meant the peterson’s address fell on will’s father, lonnie.

andie had never met lonnie. supposedly, he lived in indianapolis which was a lengthy two hours from hawkins. she had heard a lot about him—mainly how removed he was from will, which had made him sad. andie constantly pretended not to hear the numerous, heated arguments that joyce and lonnie had while andie had been hired to entertain will in the next room.

“if you guys need anything, please give us a call. we’re here to help.” carolyn brushed her hand along lonnie’s thick overcoat in a soothing manner. he nodded, a melancholy smile forced upon his jaw, “we appreciate it.”

the older gentlemen gave carolyn a complacent hug before reaching his hand out for charles to shake. when they finished, his hand continued to stay outstretched in andie’s direction. though she had intended to stay silent, a sudden urge to express her sorrow bubbled in her chest.

“i’m sorry,” andie expressed on an exhale. she grew embarrassed at how plain her apology may have sounded. she was desperate to say more but was unsure where to even begin. weakly, she took the larger hand within her own, shocked by its intense warmth.

“thanks.”

using this as their exit, charles placed his hand on his daughter’s back, leading her and his wife away from the bleak scene. right as they were about to reach the outskirts of the large assembly, andie felt herself being catapult into a tight embrace.

unsure and, quite frankly, alarmed as towards who may have latched on to her, andie grew tense within their grip. a faint scent of tobacco wafted off the figure, giving andie a hint as towards whose arms she had fallen into. the heavy wool of andie’s coat made the individual’s leather jacket squeak as they rocked back and forth lightly.

“i’m sorry,” a distinct tremulous voice uttered. when they finally detached themselves, andie watched as joyce byers came into her view. this type of emotional outburst was atypical for the frazzled woman but so was having a funeral for a child.

“it’s okay.” andie felt the hot stream of tears flowing down her face. their intensity was sure to ruin the light mask of makeup andie had painted upon her cheeks. she was too taken aback by joyce’s affection to care about how broken she may have looked. “i’m sorry, ms. byers. about everything.”

“me too.” joyce matched the abundance of tears that continued to well in andie’s ocean eyes. with a final, apologetic glance, andie withdrew, quickening her pace to reconvene with her parents.

joyce, jonathan and, andie assumed, lonnie had been so kind as to offer a reception after the funeral. the peterson’s, along with the remaining mourners, slowly idled their way across the road to the church’s banquet hall that had been scheduled to house anyone willing to attend. this brief intermission allowed for andie to take a moment for herself as not to dehydrate herself before noon.

charles and carolyn understood when andie had asked to excuse herself, knowing their turbulent daughter too well. while the married couple remained on their path to the venue, andie trailed behind, getting lost in the forest of headstones. her corneas stung, burning each time she fluttered her lashes.

unfortunately, and excruciatingly, andie had to blink more than once to distinguish the outline leaning against a barren ash tree. the boy wore a sleek, two-button, single-breasted jacket with matching pants. the suit perfectly matched his lustrous raven hair that ruffled whenever a breeze passed. beneath the coat peeked a forest-teal turtleneck that immediately caught andie’s gaze. the color had splashed some vitality upon the scene and andie mused how perfectly the hue would match her eyes.

between the boy’s narrow index and middle finger hung a lit cigarette. a thin line of smoke wandered from the tip like a ghost intending to haunt. the trail continued to be distinguished by a powerful, sweet-spicy aroma that tickled at the red tip of andie’s nose. andie knew of only one boy in hawkins who enjoyed the zest of cloves and could make a funeral outfit look like something borrowed from milan fashion week. it was kyle walcott.

kyle and andie had not spoken since their fated kiss on the hawkins high football field. from that moment, she feared she would never experience a kiss as spontaneous and romantic for as long as she lived. their avoidance hadn’t stopped andie from fixating on every aspect that led to that climax. when she wasn’t thinking about hawkins’ horrors, she was thinking about kyle, the center of her hawkins’ heart. it had been her first kiss. she shared her moment with the teen she had been in love with since she turned ten. of course, she would let it consume her.

their sixty-second embrace had allowed andie to memorize every detail of kyle: his touch, his smell, his taste. though she felt like an expert, she wanted more. she wanted it again. she wanted to know everything about kyle and prayed that he wanted the same.

honesty was the foundation of all functional relationships and andie had a lot of sins to repent for. she wondered if the confessions that lay sour at the tip of her tongue could lead their love to success. not only could she relieve the stress that strained her shoulders, but they could share yet another fundamental first.

kyle would be the first to know that andie had turned in brett for cheating; that barbara holland was innocent.

“hey kyle.” a set of emerald eyes pierced her hesitant greeting. her impromptu vocal rest had kept her throat dry. she approached the lanky individual, checking the sky to see if the sun had decided to reemerge. it was suddenly sweltering.

he shifted towards her, almost surprised to have been spotted in public. the cigarette he was carrying separated his lips as opposed to a response.

“how are you?” andie wished that she was wearing socks. she couldn’t pull at her tights to keep her in place. instead, she waited for a reaction as her legs grew numb.

kyle squinted. his previously twinkling eyes transformed into slits that seemed more fitting for a snake. his upper lip curled despite the off-white stick being removed from his mouth. “it’s a funeral, andie.” another drag. the next words escaped with a cloud of smoke, “obviously, not great.”

immediately, andie’s face bloomed with a crimson tint. crayola had yet to invent a crayon with the same vibrant tone. she considered running off in the opposite direction. “oh, yeah. i know,” she stuttered in reply.

as the smoke dissipated into nothing, so did any sense of andie’s confidence. the atmosphere was lukewarm, not fiery and passionate as andie had hoped. it grew more stale as the teens remained in silence. stray crows mocked the encounter. low chiming of a church bell echoed in the distance. andie dug the tip of her shoe into the soft soil beneath her to appear occupied. if any lingering dirt remained, she’d promise to apologize to her mother.

“hey, do you have a second? i really wanted to talk to you about—”

“really?” somehow, andie’s cheeks flushed deeper at the retort. kyle’s pointedness had struck her like a bolt of lightning. a scoff accompanied a flick of his wrist. the burnt cigarette butt rolled lightly on the grass until colliding with a bouquet of snapdragons. the lively flowers and littered trash lay awkwardly together atop a corpse’s plot of land.

“you really want to talk about what happened at the football game here? you don’t think that’s totally inappropriate?” andie had wished that kyle had stopped after his first quip. still, andie was driven to play it cool. or, at least, act as cool as a class valedictorian could.

“oh!” her lungs pushed out something equivalent to a small laugh. nerves. fumbling with her fingers, andie stumbled through a string of broken phrases. “oh, no. no! of course not! i mean, i would love—we probably should but—it’s not—it can definitely wa—"

“i gotta go.” within kyle’s right hand sat another off-white stick. in his other, a metal lighter. he flicked the switch on the contraption, a flame sparking to life. the cigarette and fire met, immediately releasing a puff of gray dust. quickly, he stuck the burning rod into his mouth, as not to miss savoring its flavor. “chemistry homework.” he began to walk off, leading an aisle of fumes.

“but kaminsky didn’t assign anything this weekend…”

“did i say chemistry?” kyle turned to look at andie. six feet away, she was unable to read him as she did ten seconds ago. “i meant… literally anything else.”

andie remained in her place, alone with the sound of quiet crunching as kyle’s boots stalked over dried, fallen leaves. various headstones offered andie compassion that she refused to take. blinded by the rejection, she chose to focus on the admittance that violently demanded to be freed.

the urge to confess continued. it disguised itself as a bitter taste. it had been dug out of the depths of her unconscious and refused to be buried alive.

the thumping in her chest calmed as she noticed a petite shape lingering by a freshly waxed oldsmobile. if she hadn’t stared long enough, she would have mistaken the shape to be her best friend maeve. long strands of brunette waves swirled into a frenzy, tangling as a gust of air blew past. the girl started to dart off in the opposite direction of andie.

“hey, nance! wait up!”

nancy wheeler’s startled baby blues peeked over her shoulder and andie was soon at her side. if andie couldn’t ask barbara for forgiveness, she supposed confiding in barbara’s closest companion would reaffirm her morality.

“oh, andie. i’m sorry…”

“i have something to tell you.”

nancy dug her upper teeth into her glossed bottom lip. it swelled as soon as she released it. “can it wait?” she pleaded, distracted. her line of sight flickered nervously across the field as if she’d lost something valuable. andie questioned if nancy assumed that she wanted to talk about steve. his foul attitude had made up the basis of their last conversation. “jonathan and i—”

andie’s eyebrows met in the middle of her forehead. the delicate skin crinkled in confusion. there was only one ‘jonathan’ that lived in hawkins. “jonathan… byers?”

“yeah.” nancy’s attention strayed from the blonde attached to her hip. she concentrated on finding her treasure.

“since when do you two hang out?” a hint of a satisfied gasp overlapped with andie’s inquiry. nancy was peculiarly pleased while andie grew concerned.

there was a social hierarchy at hawkins high. andie wished to abolish it but it would always remain. those with differing ranks rarely conjoined forces, even in times of tragedy. nancy had been sprung to the top of the popularity food pyramid since publicizing her relationship with steve; jonathan was deeply nestled in the basement. forgetting her initial intention, andie resolved to get more details on this strange collaboration.

nancy started towards the church while andie struggled to keep up with her fast pace. the height of her heels competed fiercely with her lengthy strides. “it’s a long story…” nancy ultimately replied.

“i have time!”

nancy stopped in front of andie, bringing them both to a halt. andie wobbled, adjusting to her sudden, stationary stance. conflict portrayed itself in thick, squiggly creases above nancy’s dainty nose. the shorter girl clearly felt her own kind of guilt for not being available to her friend.

“i don’t.” nancy was firm yet regretful. she patted andie’s forearm with a palm that craved solace in the form of a warm knitted mitten. abruptly, she withdrew. she was still on a determined path. andie realized there was nothing she could say to stray the tiny traveler from her course.

“we’ll talk on monday!” nancy called back loudly. her proclamation faded, threatening to echo, as the space between her and andie grew wider. “i promise!”

andie folded her arms over her chest. it was hard for her to suppress her frustration. finally, she had collected enough courage to be truthful, but her grand reveal continually fell upon deaf ears. hawkins was selfish; maybe even more than she was.

left out of options, andie swallowed her confession. instantly, her stomach ached.

“another time will come,” she reminded herself.

“a better time will come.”

fifteen minutes had passed since andie separated from her parents. more collected than she previously had been, she considered it an appropriate time to reconvene. with her chin perched downwards, she climbed the shallow steps of the banquet hall. with a sudden turn of the door handle, she emerged unto her grim reality.

her parents lingered by the entrance. they would never have admitted it, as not to look too constricting, but they had been awaiting their daughter’s return since she had departed. carolyn placed the paper cup nestled in her hand on a nearby table. she wanted her arms to be free just in case andie needed to fall into them.

“everything alright?” carolyn may have been the only one to speak but both her and charles awaited a response. andie nodded, accompanying the motion with a light “mmhm.” one day she’d stop lying, but not today.

“i noticed some cookies when i came in. i’ll be right back.” andie removed herself from their spotlight. as she retreated, she heard her father suggest that she try the glazed, mini “donut-holes”. she politely agreed. she refused to let on that she had felt ill all morning.  

the long table she advanced towards laid askew to the dozen tables that had been set in the center of the room. it was covered in the same, crinkly, olive tablecloth whose staticky texture made andie’s skin crawl. she scanned the edible selections despite knowing she would consume none of it. savory finger food, assorted pastries, pre-diced fruit and store-bought cakes had all made the lineup. there wasn’t a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in sight. will would’ve been disappointed.

andie opted to pile some nilla wafers on to her paper plate. if, by some unexpected impulse, she had decided to eat, their tastelessness would keep her anxious stomach at ease.

facing the crowd that mingled behind her, she sought out an unimposing area to pretend to enjoy her feast. by some luck, a vacant, stainless-steel folding chair sat directly across from where she stood. the only additional occupants at the table were three, young boys that she had known too well.

“is this seat taken?” andie halted the boys’ discussion. three, differing pairs of eyes cast a rainbow unto her dress. mike wheeler, dustin henderson and lucas sinclair met their babysitter with disillusioned shrugs before readdressing the topic they had abandoned.

andie had looked after the boys she affectionately nicknamed “the dream team” only four days prior but felt as if they had all been separated for months. so much had changed. each day was a new adventure for the adolescents. they were constantly growing, sprouting into themselves.

she slid into her seat, her placement closest to the most outspoken in the group. the proximity allowed her to catch mike glaring at his friends in some sort of unspoken warning. andie was careful to disguise her curiosity as interest in her golden-baked biscuits. even at a funeral, the rambunctious boys appeared to be cultivating some scheme.

andie never intended to impose but felt a maternal duty weighing on her as she sat with her most consistent clients. she had been caring for mike, dustin and lucas since they were in diapers. they were will’s closest friends. of course, she would always look for ways to make them feel comforted, even when they tried to fool her into believing they were fearless.

“i know you’re probably tired of hearing this but if you need to talk about anything that’s been happening, i’m here.” she flipped a single cookie in her hands until it began to crumble from the repetition, “i understand.”

“we know.” ever energetic mike spoke for his friends. andie always knew him to be the silently elected leader of the pack. she also knew that society expected men to bottle up their feelings as not to appear weak or incapable of control. andie disagreed with this customary notion. as long as mike, dustin and lucas were under her supervision, she would encourage them to be open to discussing and experiencing their emotions—even the ugly ones.  

“it’s okay to be upset,” she reassured. “this stuff is hard. it’s been hard for me too.”

dustin sat the furthest from andie. she watched his taut curls spring themselves into a samba as he nodded in unison with his closest friends. a moment passed and andie considered proposing another reflective prompt. dustin beat her to it.

“are you gonna eat those?”

andie looked towards her plate. mike glared. she gave her stiff tray a gentle shove at the same time that lucas prodded the boniest part of his elbow into dustin’s decorated vest. the collection of confections were now in dustin’s possession.

“… sorry.” dustin mumbled despite not appearing apologetic.

“we’re all sad but crying won’t change what happened.” lucas was stubborn to counteract his companion’s insensitivity. andie leaned forward onto her forearms. his sentence was profound and almost personal. perhaps, she had been searching for advice from the wrong company. “we have to keep going,” he added.

“will would want us to.” andie looked at mike when he spoke. he had the strongest moral compass of any child she had met. it was her turn to nod gently in agreement. mike continued, “and he always wanted to solve problems…”

“… even when there were none.” tiny bits of the vanilla-flavored wafer combined with the words in dustin’s mouth to form a jumbled response. “there’s always a problem,” lucas retorted. his accusation forced dustin to defend himself and the two began to bicker.

“so, we’ll solve them for him. fix it.” mike talked over the unnecessary argument that boiled to his left. andie chose not to intervene. if she did, she would be forced to pick a side and was too exhausted to amuse juvenile antics.

“march on but don’t forget from where we started?” andie was speaking for herself now.

the kids were right. past mistakes could not be undone. one could only move forward, learn and grow from their errors.

technology hadn’t been invented to allow andie to turn back the clock. she couldn’t stop herself from turning brett in and forcing the blame on barbara. what was done had been done; the crime committed. but she had control of her future. she could vow to be a better person—someone who always took responsibility for their actions.

it was what the boys were doing for will. it was what she could do for barbara.

“exactly,” “right,” “yeah,” mike, dustin and lucas’s affirmations collided in the air before crashing into andie. they felt like an embrace she was unaware that she needed.

andie’s wind-burnt cheeks twitched themselves to accommodate a soft smile. it felt unnatural. expressing joy had been difficult since will’s passing. “when did you boys get so smart?” the stubby nail on her thumb pressed against her curved lips. remnants of her peach gloss stuck to the talon.

“we’ve always been smart.” mike raised a brow, accenting his playful smugness, though it was hidden behind his black, shaggy mop. dustin and lucas concurred with chipper chuckles. for a brief minute, life felt normal.

when andie dropped her hands to the table, a folded paper plate fell to her lap. with an interested “oh,” she lifted it analytically, examining the product for any mischief. she remembered gifting dustin her plate when he expressed his hunger. this was not her property.

she separated the opposing ridged edges that stuck together. unfolding the d-shape, a perfect circle remained. her fingers ran over a careless doodle that occupied the center.

“what’s this?” andie examined the drawing. two horizontal lines formed a base for a sloppy stick-figure to stand on. this one-dimensional man was further enclosed by two arrows, pointing away, on either side of his body. a smaller oval with five lines acting as legs had been placed by the cartoon’s right foot. more arrows emerged from this tiny figure—two in the same directions as the man, one sandwiched between the base at which the scribbles were mounted and another that seemed to be diagonal.

“science.” mike had tried too hard to respond casually. yet again, lucas looked to recover: “mr. clarke was helping us.”

andie liked the boy’s sixth grade science teacher. mr. clarke had taught her when she roamed the halls of hawkins middle school. his enthusiasm for biology was infectious. he had single-handedly ignited an intense interest of life science in andie that she carried with her to her future academic courses. she refused to admit it out loud but his innate intelligence, fervor for innovation and compassion for his students caused andie to develop a small, completely innocent crush.

“you know i love science.” her tone, though pleasant, demanded a further explanation.

“actually… he meant art.” dustin searched for any blatant displeasure on his friend’s faces. he seemed nervous to address andie directly. “yeah, art,” mike corrected as dustin went on. “it’s more of an art concept if you really think about it.” his uncomfortable shifting raised andie’s suspicions.

“mr. clarke…” andie paused before completing her train of thought, “likes art?” she wondered if one of the boys would be so brave to fill in the blank and sway her doubts.

“yeah! he’s like picasso. a real natural.” andie scrunched up her face at dustin’s comment. the level of intricacy was sorely understated in this line-and-stick, ballpoint pen scribble. she took the dish and held it an inch from her nose. maybe there were hidden details?

“you didn’t know?” lucas questioned as if the answer was obvious.

they spent too much time together. the boys had grown comfortable lying to andie whenever they found it necessary. since their first instance, andie found difficulty determining fact from fiction.

“… no. i knew will liked to draw but not mr. clarke.” using past-tense verbiage to describe will briefly stopped andie’s heart. it would take forever for her to get used to it.

there was no reason for the boys to lie about a silly picture. andie concluded that there was validity in their claims.

desperate for a distraction from her depression that rose to the surface, andie let her shoulders rise in indifference. the dark tulle of her sleeves rumpled clumsily in response to the motion. “i guess you learn something new every day.”

mike, dustin and lucas sported matching, tense smirks. a flustered yet relieved chuckle simmered simultaneously from their bodies. with a final glance at the illustration, andie stood. her salutation began by blanketing each boy individually with a thoughtful hug. “i just wanted to check in. love you,” they all matched her kindness by throwing their arms around her taller frame. a rolling mumble of “love you too” met her ears. “and stay out of trouble!” andie pointed a thin index finger at mike. after all, he was their captain.

“i will!” he protested with a uniquely “wheeler” whine. “we always do,” dustin chimed with a sing-song-y pitch. andie was sure that when she turned her back, she would regret leaving them on their own. no matter what they promised, they attracted danger.

the bug and the man. the image was gone but its implications remained. andie speculated its meaning. who was the man? could she be the man?

in her own mind, andie was the man. playing a balancing act, each move she made was calculated to confirm the notion that she was, undeniably, the best. selfishness peaked when she brought attention to brett li’s misconduct. she knew what she was doing when she refused to take blame. she was smart. her composure was everything. she had to stay poised. she’d never allow her painted, porcelain mask to break—even if it was at the expense of others.

opposingly, barbara was the unlucky bug. she had squashed barbara’s reputation without hesitation, moving forward with her life in the process. when barbara disappeared, she scrambled to move backward, to repent without really repenting. her toes continued to scrape on the ledge, smudging over the legacy she had already destroyed, as she considered what to do.

the answer was clear. she couldn’t put the dismembered insect back together. she could only teeter forward, mindful not to crush any other bugs with the calloused soles of her feet. this may have made it easier for her to falter, bringing her closer to the ground, but it would give her purpose—a concrete way to apologize. establish her ethic.

on the drive home, andie watched as a ladybug danced on the layered glass beside her head. as the family chevrolet rocketed forward, the red-and-black beetle struggled to stay on its own, onward course. when they pulled into their driveway, the small insect remained, entirely intact.

before heading inside, andie coaxed the ladybug off the slippery car window and on to the cushiony pad of her finger. as it settled in the bed of rings that made up andie’s fingerprint, the blonde knelt to the floor. the grass itched at her wrist as she submerged her hand in its long, green stalks. with a gentle nudge, the bug fell from her possession and scurried into the sunset.

slowly, andie rose from the earth. she marched forward. there was nothing more that she could do.

•••

style inspiration: https://bit.ly/3aXRydr, https://bit.ly/2xIB5vx

song inspiration: https://bit.ly/2KK392O

[dandyandiepeterson]

– EVERY DAY I LOOK AT THE WORLD FROM MY WINDOW

( waterloo sunset, the kinks )

•••

viii. visiting castle byers

•••

andrea peterson had been perfecting the art of babysitting before she even knew how to spell the word.

andie’s mother frequently told her stories of how three-year old andie cared for her baby dolls as if they were her own children. the platinum blonde toddler made healthy meals from the finest leaves for her plastic friends, held their stiff hands while they crossed the street, and retold her favorite fairytales to ensure them sweet dreams each night, no matter how tired she was.

as andie grew, so did her protective, maternal instinct. she could recall packing boxes of band-aids with her to second grade just in case her peers got reckless on the playground and needed some immediate medical attention. her classmates had come to know of andie’s preparedness and would often come to her first with their issues rather than involve the teacher.

andie almost felt like as if she was born to watch over others which is why the decision to say yes came very easily when she was first asked, at age eleven, to babysit her neighbor’s son while they went grocery shopping.

he may have been her first, official babysitting client but he was surely not the last.

at only fifteen years of age, andie had firmly established her role as “the babysitting queen of hawkins”. subjects from the far and wide corners of the indiana farm-town relied on her responsible governing to keep their children safe and entertained after school.

while some clients were spontaneous, asking for her assistance when they had to spend extra hours in the corporate kingdom, others were loyal; never faltering in their need for her services. the most loyal of her subjects had been found within four, differing families: the henderson’s, the sinclair’s, the wheeler’s and the byers’.

these families made up most of her roster, seeing as they were some of the busiest households in town, and andie couldn’t have been more grateful to have found stability in a fluctuating field.

although andie would make her customary calls in the afternoon to solidify her child-care calendar, it wasn’t uncommon for the young girl to receive phone inquiries in the morning from those wanting to be ahead of the daily curve. andie didn’t blame these individuals. she, too, was accustomed to excessive preparation; even when there was nothing to prepare for.

a sudden succession of shrill rings broke through the chilly morning of february tenth, nineteen-eighty-two, shifting andie and her mother’s attention from their breakfast. placing the device to her ear, andie’s sleepy fingers tangling within the coiled cord that was inserted at the base.

“hi, is this andrea?”

the voice on the other end of the telephone line was warm yet slightly tremulous. this unique tone allowed andie to recognize whom she was speaking with almost immediately.

“hi, yes, this is she. is this…”

“joyce. joyce—mrs. byers.”

just as she had suspected.

“hi, mrs. byers!”

andie’s response was unnaturally chipper. no one was happy to be up at seven-thirty in the morning.

“how are you? how has your morning been?”

“it’s been good, sweetheart. busy. good and busy. i hope—”

there was a clang on the other end of the line and andie could hear the woman issue a faint, reprimand to one of her sons. it was obviously hoping to be lost within a misplaced hand over the receiver.

“i hope i’m not interrupting anything. you’re not on your way to school yet… are—are you?”

“nope, i’m still home. i’m just finishing up some breakfast.”

andie didn’t have the heart to remind the preoccupied woman that she had been reached at her family’s landline. she understood how hectic it must have been for the single mother to wrangle two boys on a school morning.

“oh, good! good. you know,” joyce began tentatively, almost afraid of overstepping, “i have a late shift this evening and i think jonathan—jonathan said he’s going to cover for eric tonight because he said he had some sort of family emergency, i’m not sure. but i was wondering if you would be willing to pick up will after school and just make sure he doesn’t get himself into any trouble…”

andie always appreciated how considerate mrs. byers was. each time she asked andie to babysit, it was as if she were asking for a favor. she never took andie’s assistance for granted.

“i know midterms are coming up—jonathan mentioned he has ms. snyder and i remember her exams were always… she’s a very tricky lady. so, i know you’re probably studying because you’re a great student—”

joyce seemed to understand that andie had a life of her own, her own needs to tend to, and that although she was the baroness of babysitting, it did not excuse her from obligations such as high school homework.

andie cut off joyce’s frantic rambling, a product of not wanting to ask too much from a fifteen-year-old.

“of course i can pick up will, mrs. byers. it’s not a problem at all.”

andie swore she could feel the warm, sigh of relief that joyce released.

“oh, good. you know, it’s never a problem if you can’t. i could always ask allie or jessica or even lauren. i just—” she reduced her voice to a whisper, “i think will gets along best with you.”

a timid, half-smile crept upon andie’s lips. she had always grown a liking to will and, due to his meekness, never knew where she stood with the shy boy. it was nice to receive validation from someone who knew the adolescent best.

“it’s certainly my honor.”

there was a brief pause; an unexpected silence hanging between two of hawkins’ most talkative residents.

“i’m sure i’ll have to give them a call but mrs. wheeler, mrs. sinclair and mrs. henderson probably need me to pick up their boys too, right?”

it was rare when the four pre-teens were seen without each other. the group of awkward science geeks had formed a tight-knit circle of friends; something that andie decided was extremely important for the boys who seemed to appear so out of place at times.

“actually, no. i don’t think so.”

andie nodded inquisitively as if joyce could observe her growing level interest.

“i think it’s just gonna be will today.”

“oh,” andie’s head continued to bob up and down as she considered how different her afternoon would be.

the three other boys, mike, lucas and dustin, were typically rambunctious, regardless of the situation. even when andie allowed them to play dungeons and dragons, what she thought was a simple board game, she worried that the neighbors would complain about the excited hollering that echoed from the living room.

will was modest — a mouse in comparison to his ferocious allies. he was introspective and soft-spoken, more considerate of emotions than a typical boy of his age. this was probably due to his own sensitivity.

andie always liked this subtle serenity about will. part of her wished she could emulate his softness instead of being so tightly wound all the time.

“well, i’m looking forward to it!”

after the logistics such as pricing and pick-up time were established, andie wished joyce a friendly farewell. only a few minutes passed before andie threw the remains of her breakfast into the trash, gifting her own mother a delightful goodbye as she started on an adventure that was a brand new day.

when three-fifteen rolled around, andie made sure she could be seen at the entrance of hawkins middle school. she refused to be late— especially when she had already made a promise to mrs. byers.

andie was not one to miss fulfilling her obligations and she never, ever broke her promises.

the landscape may have been painted in grey, accented by an angry swarm of clouds, but andie’s lemon, knit sweater added a necessary splash of color to the otherwise melancholy scene. when will emerged from the school yard, andie met him with a grin that was equally as sunny as her outfit. “hey, buddy! how was your day?”

will approached the tall blonde with a bashful smile. a perfect contrast to andie’s extroversion.

“it was good.”

andie helped the small boy shrug his black backpack off his shoulders. as if it were nothing, she threw the sack across her back, balancing it with her personal, leather schoolbag that was already draped across her body. she was clearly accustomed to balancing more than just her academic life.

“just good? nothing special?”

“nothing special.”

as they walked to the byers residence, andie attempted to talk to will about anything that she thought he would find interesting.

“what was the best thing you learned today?”

“i can’t remember.”

“did you guys do anything fun in science?”

“not really.”

“do you know if mike coming up with a new dungeons and dragons campaign?”

“i don’t know.”

“what did you have for lunch?”

“a sandwich.”

even though andie had expected will to conduct himself in his usual, reserved manner, she found his quick responses to be very odd— almost uncharacteristic.

she had hoped nothing had gone amiss while he was at school. she knew that he had previously been a victim of bullying alongside his friends but understood that it had been handled by administration—at least that is what she was told when she first found out and took it upon herself to address the subject with the kind, old women in the front office.

usually, she would ask if this was the case but given his already reluctant replies, she doubted she would get an honest answer.

andie swore that if she were to find out that will was still having trouble with some snot-nosed, ten-year-olds, she would try her hardest to get whomever was bothering him expelled from every middle school in roane county. it was something she would do for any of her babysitting clients, especially those who were more delicate.

andie unlocked the front door of the one-story house after retrieving a copper key that joyce had left for her under the welcome mat. rushing past her to enter the dimly lit room, will silently took his place at the kitchen table where an array of crayons had been left out for him.

andie recalled another way in which will differed from his friends which was through his artistry.

it was not to say that the other boys were not creative: mike’s excellence as a dungeon master had allowed him to become a skillful story-teller, dustin had a lovely singing voice and lucas was a very impressive dancer but none of their talents seemed to match will’s exceptional gift of drawing.

will was only ten but he certainly had an eye for illustration. over the years, he had produced several beautiful sketches—intricate depictions of rocket ships, dinosaurs, superheroes and, the most impressive, his character from dungeons and dragons: will the wise.

he was a master of color, using what was available to him effectively. while the shades he employed for certain objects may not have always been conventional, they added an extra flair to his art. they allowed him to place his special touch, his individuality as a creator, on each and every drawing.

although andie didn’t understand the rules of the roleplaying game, she had hoped that, one day, will would like her enough to draw her as a princess or a fairy or whatever he deemed her as being in the fantastical dungeons and dragons universe.

today, she hoped that he liked her enough to give her more than a two-word response.

“while you work on that, how about i put together some pb&j sandwiches for us?”

no response. andie tried not to take it personally. she recognized that he was probably too focused on perfecting the picture that was in front of him.

“i know you said you had a sandwich for lunch but pb&js are my favorite after school snack. they’re not super heavy so you don’t feel like you have to take a nap after you finish one and they’re the best mix of both sweet and salty, so you don’t have to choose! am i right?”

andie looked over her shoulder to confirm that his silence was due to concentration and not rebellion. she felt slightly reassured when she caught a glimpse of his tiny hand scribbling against a white sheet of paper.

“will?”

the small boy looked up, his wide, gentle eyes meeting hers.

andie wasn’t sure what was going on with will but his innocent look restored her confidence that he was certainly not meaning to cause any harm.

“sounds good.”

“okay, good.”

andie let out a small chuckle, turning back to the kitchen counter and collecting the materials she needed to make her own work of art. she didn’t want will to think that she was pestering him, especially if he really was still having to deal with annoying remarks from his classmates.

“i was nervous that you were gonna tell me you’re allergic to peanut butter or something which would’ve been a real bummer.”

andie chose to work silently as she painted two slices of wonderbread with grape jelly and peanut butter, continuing to ponder why will had chosen to be so quiet. maybe he was always like this and andie had never noticed because she was always preoccupied with making sure the other three musketeers didn’t hurt themselves or each other?

or maybe will’s silence wasn’t indicative of some sort of problem but that he wanted a break from the chaos that was a sixth-grade school day? andie remembered her time within the classrooms at hawkins middle school. coincidentally, it was during her three years there that she began to experience stress headaches.

everyone deserved to have a breather.

even those who still had had a period for recess.

andie decided that she would try her best to keep her talking to a minimum in order to allow will this reprieve that he may have wordlessly been begging for. she would only ask him the most important questions.

“hey, will,”

andie pressed the two layers of bread together before using a butter knife to split the meal into triangle-shaped halves.

“do you like your crusts on or off?”

her inquiry was met with the dull humming of a yellow bulb, affixed into a lamp from the nineteen-sixites. she wasn’t surprised.

andie transferred the snack to a porcelain plate that she found teetering in an overhead cupboard. she hoped that the dish that she had collected wasn’t part of joyce’s good china collection. if it was, andie would just claim that she had found it in the dishwasher.

there wasn’t any harm in a little white lie.

she continued as she turned to face the interior of the kitchen.

“i personally like them off but that’s just me. i don—”

andie’s heart plummeted to the pit of her stomach when her eyes were greeted with an empty chair. the little boy who previously filled it was nowhere in sight.

“will?”

the young girl peered into the living room which had remained completely stable. not a single feather in any of the floral decoration pillows had moved from their initial place.

maybe will had to go to the bathroom? or went to lay down for a nap?

it wasn’t so outlandish for andie to think this way. she assumed will wouldn’t have even told her if he was going on a weekend trip to florida.

“will?!”

her tone grew more distressed as she called for the boy again. anxiety rose within her when she still didn’t receive a response.

her wobbly limbs rushed her towards the front of the house, a cold sweat prickling on the back of her neck. she froze in place as she looked down the home’s hallways, into the rooms that suddenly seemed so wide and vast, when she finally caught sight of her worst nightmare: a gaping, unlocked front door.

the wooden door flapped tauntingly within the winter air, almost as if its own goal was to bully andie.

the plate within her stiff fingers spilled to the floor, shattering against the faded wood flooring with an ugly crash.

“shit!”

in that moment, andie swore that all indiana could hear both her obscenity and the terrified, deafening thumping of her heart.

“shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!”

her hand flew to her forehead as she stepped over the physical mess she had made. at this time, she could care less about broken, jagged ceramic that sprawled across the foyer. there was no child that she had to protect from playing with it.

she had another mess to deal with.

the child that she had sworn to protect had gone missing; lost within the menacing gusts of the frigid, february wind.

andie’s burst through the entrance of the home, alternating between calling desperately for her babysitting client and spewing out other, less-family friendly, four-lettered words.

the sandy driveway felt uncomfortable against her bare feet, like little ants craving to settle in the most private sections of her extremities. heavy footsteps promised to leave a tangible memory of her frenzy.

the intolerance andie felt against the coarse sand proved to be no match to her own, intense panic. mulch she encountered splintered her skin as she ventured further away from the house and deeper into the dense woods that lied behind the residence.

“will?!”

dead leaves tangled between andie’s toes.

“will?! where are you?!”

how could she have let this happen? how could she have been so stupid to assume that will was only being quiet because he wanted some time to himself? clearly, something had been bothering will; something so much so that he had decided to run away.

as andie continued to venture deeper into the forest of sugar maples, her own worries began to bury themselves deeper in her mind.

what if will had gotten hurt? andie had heard rumors that there were bears that lived on the outskirts of hawkins. what was she to do if a mother bear chose to take her “babysittee” hostage? andie absolutely couldn’t battle it off herself—unless it was a battle of wits.

and what was andie to tell joyce if will was nowhere to be found by sundown? how was she to explain to the woman who had always been so accommodating to her that she couldn’t fulfill the one responsibility she had been asked?

how was she to tell joyce that she had lost something that was more precious to her than a dozen good pieces of china?

an anguished groan broke free from andie’s chest as a warm tear threatened to roll down her flushed cheek. her hands flailed above her head as she tried to grasp anything that would lead her to the tiny middle-schooler.

how could she have been so stupid?

andie allowed her fingers to sweep against her lash line, catching the symbol of vulnerability that was desperate to make itself known.

now wasn’t the time for her to get emotional. now was the time for her to find will.

she dodged the naked trees that had stripped themselves in preparation for the icy weather that had rolled through the town in the previous months. she was thankful that mother nature had done this because this allowed her a more distinct view of the deeply, wooded area.

she could only imagine how much more lost will would have become if he had decided to run off in the overgrown month of april.

scanning the desolate field before her, andie began to feel engulfed with a sense of hopelessness. it would take her hours—days to search the entirety of these woods. and, even then, she wasn’t even sure if this was where will had run off to.

although it felt like hours, it must have only been ten minutes before andie found a piece of solace.

behind a large stump and way off in the distance, her uneasy green eyes caught hold of what seemed to be a small fortress. initially, she feared that she was just experiencing a mirage but as she continued to approach the unwavering fixture, her hope that this had not just been a figment of her imagination began to rise.

the little hut was built from what looked like skinny, dead branches. they had either been cut or fallen from larger, more daunting foliage. the various pieces of timber were stacked side by side, providing to be a steady base for the structure.

towards the back, a worn, navy blue blanket flitted through the breeze. andie could recall seeing pillowcases with the same design in the byers laundry cabinet. it had been balanced beneath a few logs that served their roles as roofing, to ensure that no strong rush of air could set the fabric loose.

an american flag stuck from the top of the ceiling and andie swore that it was the most tattered, disheveled version of the stars and stripes that she had ever seen.

andie rounded the front, passing by a spare, worn tire and other knick-knacks that had been organized as outdoor decoration. three slates of wood with sloppy handwriting had been placed over the fort’s makeshift, “sheet”-ed doorway and andie stopped to read them.

red and gold painted letters, varying in capitalization read:

“all friends welcome”

“home of will the wise”

“castle byers”

a slow smile began to surface on andie’s face as her eyes shifted upward, looking heavenward. she let out a huge breath, watching as her cold exhale faded into nothingness.

“will?”

the name was spoken easily— more gentle than any time it had been before.

a small, singsong-y voice echoed back.

“yeah?”

“oh, thank god!”

andie rushed past the welcoming sheet and into the covered den, letting the cotton sweep against her exposed arm. the warmth of relief she felt upon seeing will’s youthful face was more comforting than any lined jacket.

throwing her arms around will’s short, fragile frame, andie pulled him in for what had to be the world’s most enthusiastic hug. she ignored how inflexible he became in her grasp, afraid that if she let go of him, he would run off again.

“don’t you ever do that again, you hear me?” she finally separated from the boy, keeping him at arm’s length. another large, relieving exhale broke from her body before sat next to him and spoke, “you scared the crap out of me!”

the edge of will’s lip turned upward into a naïve smirk. there was no way andie could be mad at someone who embodied innocence. she wondered if joyce had the same problem when reprimanding him.

a gust of air blew past them and rattled the surprising amount of drawings that had been taped against the room’s walls. now that she had calmed, andie took a second to observe the area at which she stumbled upon.

although the outside looked barren, the inside was rich. lush, unused paintbrushes and various tins of paint sat at the foot of a small folding table to her right. atop the table sat several science materials such as magnifying glasses and plastic beakers. a microscope that seemed to be in perfect condition was what really caught andie’s eye.

to the left, there were some more cans of paint that had been broken in to and a small, orange lamp that remained in the off setting as it could not be connected to an electrical outlet. beneath her was a used mattress that had been stained and torn-up around the edges. anyone else would have given the used cushion to the garbageman but will intended to use it for other purposes.

andie had to admit, it did serve as a comfortable sofa in this tiny cabin.

colorful, puffy quilts were draped along the floor and accented by stuffed animals who had also seen much better days. instead of choosing to comment on how this place had become or why it was present in the first place, andie focused on the piece of paper that sat across will’s lap. on the paper was a figure that looked like a man.

“what’s—uh—who’s that?”

will met her gaze.

“invisible boy.”

“invisible boy, huh?” andie looked closer at the image. the person had straight brown hair and bangs that stopped just above his wide-set, brown eyes. he wore a checkered shirt and a pair of jeans that looked too big in comparison to the rest of his proportions.

a light blue cloud surrounded the exterior of invisible boy’s body and andie assumed that this expressed that he was using his superpowers.

“and does he also like to run in the woods unattended?”

andie prayed that she didn’t offend the sensitive child. she had just hoped to lighten the mood after her recent, traumatic experience.

“not quite… except,” will stopped shading in the background of the image as if to truly consider the question he was asked. “he probably could. no one would notice.”

“no one?”

“not his friends. not his teachers. not his family. no one,” the tiny boy spoke firmly and andie believed every word. “he’s invisible to everyone. no matter how hard he tries, no one can see him.”

andie shook her head slowly in response, her ponytail bouncing vertically behind her as she released an interested, “uh-huh.”

she glanced at the image again and couldn’t help but draw physical comparisons from the art to the artist. she wondered if these similarities continued into the description she was just given and will could somehow relate to this fictional hero.

“and is there any reason why invisible boy looks a lot like you?”

will turned a telltale sign of red. he hastily turned the paper face down so andie couldn’t view the drawing any longer.

“you won’t get it.” he broke eye contact with andie to examine a stray thread that had began to come loose from his burnt-colored, flannel top.

“hey,” andie placed her palm against will’s shoulder, hoping that the touch would serve as a form of comfort. “try me.”

andie wanted will to be able to come to her with things. she wanted him to feel like he could talk to her whenever life got rough; that he had more options than just running into the woods.

“i just…” he took in and let out a deep, audible breath. when he spoke, he continued to look anywhere but andie’s face. “i just don’t feel like anyone cares.”

“i care. you’re my friend.” andie’s response was immediate.

will replied just as quickly and with the same amount of conviction, “you have to say that, you’re my babysitter.”

“no, i don’t.” andie folded her hands atop her lap, shifting so that she was more comfortable. she was willing to sit in this freezing fort until will was convinced that she really, truly had concern for him. “i wouldn’t call troy my friend and i’ve babysat him plenty of times.”

troy walsh was one of will’s classmates. he had found pleasure in tormenting and bullying others, namely will and his friends.

andie had no idea why the pre-teen was always so angry. she felt bad rooting against a ten-year-old, but he had shown little remorse on more than one occasion. this led andie to secretly wish that high school would bring on his demise.

will squeaked out a muted laugh at the reference. his somber attitude returning soon after.

“i just—i feel alone a lot. jonathan and mom are always at work. mike, lucas and dustin are all better friends with each other… i mean, i don’t know. i feel like i’m better off out here.” the end of his sentence faded off as if he had more to say but was already ashamed of himself for oversharing.

alternatively, andie realized how much the two of them had in common.

“just because they’re busy doesn’t mean that they aren’t thinking about you.”

andie pressed her lips into a tense, matter-of-fact smile, although she knew will wouldn’t see it. he had turned back to prodding at the fabric that surrounded his wrist.

“i know how you feel, will. i feel alone a lot too. like, sometimes i’m the only one supporting myself.”

andie wouldn’t admit it now because it wasn’t the time nor the place but her greatest wish in life was to have a best friend. she had morgan lawson but since they entered high school, a strain had built itself on their relationship. they didn’t have much in common anymore and andie wondered if they ever did.

cameron reynolds, the only other person that andie had even been close with, had moved across the state years prior. it was hard to keep someone updated through phone calls and writing letters.

she wondered what it was like to have someone her age celebrating her achievements with her; someone who was proud of her. someone who was always available when she was going through a crisis. someone who made her want to be a better person—someone strong and smart and too kind for their own good. someone who understood and accepted her for who she was: a type-a, overachieving, too-hard-on-herself teenager.

she wanted to be that person for someone else. and she wondered if she would be searching for that person for the rest of her life.

“it’s hard when you feel like nobody wants to listen to you. but i can promise you, i’m all ears. always.”

will finally looked up at andie, a subtle expression of both surprise and satisfaction growing on his childish features.

andie continued, saying what she wished someone had said to her when she was his age, “i want to know what you learned about in school and who ‘won’ in dungeons and dragons and— and how the heck you built this fort!” she looked around the space with her own look of amusement. her hands spread out in front of her as if to ask the same question to whatever else inhabited these woods.

casually, she leaned into will, lowering her voice as if she were to reveal some earth-shattering secret.

“are you sure you don’t have super strength?”

will released a few high-pitched giggles which threw andie into her own bout of laughter. this was the happiest she had seen the boy in weeks.

“you’re not alone, will.” andie’s smile was as soft as her sentiment, teeming with sincerity. “not as long as you know me. promise.”

will matched andie’s sympathetic grin with a contented expression of his own, a sign of his own appreciation. that was all andie had wanted: for will to feel free from harm—be it internal or external.

andie broke away from the moment with a shiver, crossing her arms securely across her chest as if to conceal any heat that her torso had already contained. without feeling overwhelmed adrenaline, the cold atmosphere seemed bitter.

she stood from the make-shift couch, moving with an inch of shock when her uncovered feet hit the damp sod. this was the first and last time she would go walking in nature without a pair of shoes. she held her hand out to the small boy in front of her, her fingers splayed, outstretched and welcoming.

“come on, let’s get back inside. not only is it absolutely freezing out here and, of course, you don’t have a jacket on, but they’re airing a new episode of star trek and i personally want to know how the klingons avoided the last galactic attack.”

will rose from his spot, keeping one hand on the portrait of “invisible boy” and the other latched on to andie’s. he drew his thin eyebrows together as she held the sheet-covered doorway open for him.

“wait… you watch star trek?”

“of course, i watch star trek!”

andie replied with a warm sense of keenness.

as they began back towards the byers residence, discussing their opinions on the cosmic empire, andie couldn’t help but take a quick glance back at the wooden castle.

she hoped that this was only the first adventure the little prince of painting and his new friend, the queen of babysitting, would share.

•••

style inspiration: IN PROGRESS!

song inspiration: https://bit.ly/1t6h31G

[dandyandiepeterson]

– BUT HER FRIEND IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN, NOW SHE WALKS THROUGH HER SUNKEN DREAM

( life on mars?, david bowie )

•••

vii. reaction to barbara holland’s disappearance

•••

shooting up from her floral patterned sheets, andie mimicked the urgency that called from her alarm clock on her bedside table. with bloodshot eyes, she gasped for air. it was as she had been trapped underwater.

the young girl was unaware what time it was and, more importantly, why her body had entered such a state of panic. she reached to tangle her stiff, shaky fingers through her hair but quickly pulled her hand away when she skimmed a tight, slicked-back hairstyle.

at hawkins high school, andie was known for keeping her blonde curls in a perfect, high-strung ponytail. this arrangement guaranteed that nothing, not even a strand of hair, would get in her way. while the style had become one of her trademarks, she always made it an effort to wear her hair down while she slept. not only did this allow her to fully embrace the freedom she found in her own home but it also made her scalp extremely grateful.

falling asleep in a ponytail had horrible implications.

as andie slowly came into herself, the memories of the previous evening began to swarm her consciousness.

there had been the football game, her big presidential win, her big presidential loss when she recognized that the election had been a popularity contest that favored her running mate—there were a lot of tears, karen carpenter’s voice, a visit from a new friend…

“oh, god.”

andie’s trembling hand flew to her mouth. her chest no longer heaved but remained steady, grasping tightly onto an exhale. she remembered.

they lost will byers last night. they lost the boy andie had come to love as her own younger brother; the boy andie had looked after since she was still a child.

they lost him not just for three days but forever.

warm tears pooled at andie’s waterline, her hand still clasped over her mouth to muffle the sobs that began to break loose from her body.

how was she to go on living when a helpless child’s life was cut short? how was she to pass his former school every morning? eat at the restaurants he’d never frequent again? pass the house he would no longer play in?

how was she to revel in the beauty and frivolity that was being a teenager when she knew it had been stolen from someone else?

suddenly, her world had become so small—smaller than the little boy they found in the quarry.

“hey, sweetheart?” the gentle phrase was accompanied by a delicate knock. the tentative sound nearly got lost in the sea of andie’s convulsive panting. “honey?”

through the puffy slits that had become her eyes, andie watched as a tumble of sandy, blonde hair rounded the corner of her wooden door frame. without another word, the figure swept up next to her and pulled her into a tender hug.

andie buried her head deep between the individual’s shoulder and neck, letting the salty liquid drown her facial features. her tears soaked through the blue cotton shirt beneath her jaw.

this current scene was all too familiar. andie had assumed the same position with maeve standish moments after she received the bad news.

“i know. i know, my love.” carolyn’s comforting voice continued to repeat these words like a mantra. they were only segmented when the woman would press her mouth to the top of her grief-stricken daughter’s head. the two continued to stay in this embrace until andie’s heartbreaking wails diminished. slowly, the noises faded into a lifeless, debilitated whimper. ten minutes into the day and andie already felt as if she had exhausted all the physical and emotional energy she could muster.

“i know how hard this is for you, sweetheart. i understand.”

carolyn lifted her daughter’s limp chin, using her thumb to wipe away a few lingering droplets. noticing that the woman did not look at her face directly, andie took no offense. she knew she must have looked miserable — trauma etching itself on every angle of her profile. it must have been excruciating for any parent to witness this pain in their child.

“you knew him before he was born. god, we all did. and every time you went to babysit, you knew it was your job to protect him. and you did a great job.” the genuine pride in carolyn’s voice was almost enough to send andie into another fit of hysteria. “you always do such an excellent job with all of the kids you look after. why do you think you’re so always so busy?”

carolyn let an apathetic chuckle warm the room. andie sought to blanket herself in the soothing sound.

“you’re always running. i think now’s the best time for you to take a break. rest up, maybe watch some movies or something? your father and i read in the “tv guide” last night that they’re doing a marathon of that cher show on cbs."

while it often seemed as if carolyn liked to deflect or make light of certain situations, she used this trait to contrast andie’s passionate persona. andie was her own worst enemy — always knocking herself down, striving to be better even when she was at her best. carolyn knew how hard it was to be proud of yourself at a formative age. she assumed that the less pressure andie had to have to impress her or her husband, the easier it would be.

there was a slight pause as carolyn waited for a response. when one did not come, she filled the gap with her words.

“speaking of your father, he’s having mr. bailey cover his evening segment tonight. he mentioned that he was looking forward to eating dinner with us. and um, if you stay home, and maybe, if he’s home early enough, you two can make some lunch together? i’m sure it would beat any of those cafeteria—”

“i—i hav—have to go.” a forceful hiccup that shocked andie herself. she was unaware she still had the ability to muster that much conviction.

“honey, you don’t ha—”

“i’ve nev—never missed a day. you know that.” the back of andie’s hand swept down the side of her face in a stern line. it was unclear whether she was trying to rid herself of her tears or the red hue peppering her cheeks. “never. not—” she sniffled harshly, phlegm catching in the back of her throat. enough to make her cough, she took a second to clear her passageways. “not even when i got the flu in fifth grade.”

andie didn’t know why she couldn’t just take the day. what was she trying to prove? she was already valedictorian and now class president. despite the circumstances of receiving these titles, she must have somehow proven herself as a competent, put-together woman or else she wouldn’t have even been in the running. no one was going to judge her for staying home from class to mourn someone’s death.

“i have to go.”

upon uttering the punctuated sentence, andie realized that she wasn’t trying to be strong for her classmates. she wasn’t trying to prove her worth to her parents. she was trying to prove to herself that she could do it. she wanted to show herself that she could continue to survive through any challenge she was faced with.

although her self-contempt ran deep, andie held herself accountable. others rarely did. she had to support herself. she couldn’t let herself down now.

andie threw her cotton sheets from her body, springing up on her wobbly limbs. she instantly regretted her decision. her head swam, having lifted herself with too much force. carolyn cradled andie’s back, expecting the young blonde to spill over herself.

“only if you’re sure you can go. if you want, i can drive you.” regaining her balance, andie stood erect. carolyn didn’t falter — she remained available if her daughter began to stumble. “i have a late start today. and dad can pick you up if you get there and feel like you can’t make it through the day.”

seconds of unwavering stillness affirmed that andie could sustain herself. finally, carolyn let her guard fall, camouflaging her concern by dabbing at the wet splotches on her scrubs. before her shift, she would have to change into a fresh, unsaturated shirt.

“i want to go. i’m positive.” andie situated her hands on her hips, cocking her lower lip to the ceiling and blinking away any remaining tears that threatened to reemerge at the slightest mention of will. she was determined to be strong. in the past few days, she had too easily let her emotions get the best of her. she was going to be in control. she had to be in control.

blowing out a deep breath that had been sitting like a hardened brick her lungs, she repeated herself with more certainty, “i’m positive.” a hint of doubt remained as she debated who these words were for. who needed to be convinced of her ability? it surely wasn’t her mother.

carolyn took andie into her arms for a final time. physical affection was the easiest way for the older woman to express her care. the realization that a family on the other side of town had to spend this morning reacting to the death of their child had made carolyn incredibly thankful to hold on to her own.

“i trust you.” carolyn rubbed her hand lovingly down andie’s slender back, the vertebral protuberances slanting her stroke. it was as if she were trying to physically transfer her own resilience to her daughter. “and i trust that you’ll call me or dad if you need to come home. or at least talk to cameron or... or your new friend.”

andie dropped her tense shoulders. her body and mind had somehow found relief in knowing she wasn’t alone in her suffering. for the first time, maybe ever, she had real friends willing to support her — if she allowed them to.

“that sweet girl who came over last night, what was her name?”

“maeve.” a single yet mighty syllable.

tucking a stray lock of golden hair behind her daughter’s ear, a soft smile pressed on carolyn’s lips. she matched andie’s sentimental tone, echoing the name: “maeve.”

regretfully, andie removed herself from her mother’s embrace. rubbing a palm over her feverish features, she released a few remaining sniffles with the hope of alleviating some of her remaining congestion. heat radiated from her cheeks, scalding the cool, thin skin of her hand.

she sighed despairingly, exhausted eyes catching a glimpse of the cherry-stained complexion staring back at her from her vanity mirror. carolyn had since moved from her spot on andie’s bed. she was prepared to leave her daughter to her morning duties.

“mom?”

instantaneously, carolyn turned towards the frail expression.

“before you go, do you mind if i borrow your concealer?”

a yellow beetle rolled onto the hawkins high school campus not a second past eight-thirty. even the minor episode andie endured couldn’t stop her from staying right on schedule. as she walked towards the broad frames that welcomed lethargic students into the academic environment, andie felt a looming sense of dread.

this day had already been impossibly long, and it hadn’t even begun.

she knew she had to get to class. it was the only remedy to keep herself from further homing in on the tragedy. the coursework, albeit easy, would allow her to focus on something different. it was the perfect distraction.

pressing her books tightly against her chest, andie strode down the chilly hallway. her knitted sweater did little to protect herself from what felt like the coldest, longest corridor.

“room 152, english literature and composition with mr. martinez. you know what to expect. nothing’s changed. everything is the same.”

there was still some routine in her life. the entire world hadn’t been shifted. andie just had to remind herself. focused on trying to present as unfazed, she nearly missed colliding with a large mass that leaned casually against the doorway.

“whoa, peterson! distracted?”

andie blinked up at the rich, resonant voice. she must have looked as if she had just seen an alien — although, the odd “semi-friendship” she had with this individual was otherworldly.

before her stood brett li in all his six-foot, frustratingly charming glory. his brown eyes had a playful gleam as if he were moments away from blinding andie with his incredibly infectious, white-toothed grin.

brett li and andrea peterson had known each other since they were in diapers, yet they had only become fully acquainted one year prior. this wasn’t uncommon—hawkins made it was easy to grow up around the same people and never speak to them. cliques were established as early as first grade. unlike the others, brett never had a definite clique. loved by all, he was seemingly part of every clique.

brett was brilliant. it was a fundamental truth. rarely had andie ever someone with whom she could connect with on an intellectual level but brett consistently matched her wit.

their first conversation had been during a debate team meeting. although they had been assigned to speak on opposing sides of the argument, the event had only brought them closer as peers. refuting brett’s claims was the the first and only time andie had truly felt challenged during a debate.

their combined cleverness allowed for andie and brett to have delightful banter. brett knew that he made andie’s job at being the smartest teen in hawkins a bit more difficult than she would have liked it to be. they never failed to let each other know of their ability.

as much as they could tease each other about their respective intellect, andie kept aware that they were each other’s competition; especially for the title of valedictorian. more recently, the atmosphere surrounding the valedictorian race had changed. they both knew.

despite his academics, brett didn’t join forces with the self-proclaimed nerds. he had interests other than coding and discussing science-fiction novels. he was a cherished athlete. incidentally, he was the best basketball player at hawkins — despite not having made a shot since his first game during his freshman year. he was a sophomore now and andie was convinced that his popularity would thrust him to serve as captain of the team next year.

brett’s boisterous and charismatic demeanor didn’t mesh well with the introverted, av club members and he was sometimes too cerebral for his fellow jocks. uniquely himself, he still fit in. the boys he shared the basketball court with loved him because he was himself. he was funny, handsome and occasionally haughty like the rest of his jersey-clad peers. so, what if he wasn’t as well-versed in pop culture? they liked him enough to disregard his occasional awkwardness.

most people liked brett. andie liked brett. the girls who wrote crude things on the bathroom walls really liked brett.

“you wish.” andie wanted to award herself for still engaging in repartee. before she had exited her car, she doubted that she would even be able to speak to her classmates without being reduced to tears.

as andie ambled into the frigid room, she could feel brett following closely behind her. “hey, congrats on winning the election.”

andie looked over her shoulder just in time to catch the sports star give a suggestive wink to a girl in a cheerleading uniform. the corners of andie’s lips began to curl upward ever so slightly.

“oh, thank you.”

brett was the last person she expected to make her feel happy today.

“except, you know you only won because i didn’t run, right?”

andie’s smile faded as soon as it had appeared. she should have expected brett’s compliment to be sprinkled with a dash of snark.

the blonde decided against a retort, instead just rolling her tired, inflamed eyes as sat down at her desk. she began to rummage through her leather satchel as brett took his assigned seat in front of her.

she had never regretted having a last name starting with ‘p’ until high school. she realized most of hawkins athletes also had surnames beginning with mid-alphabet letters. it seemed as if in every class, she was an island enclosed by a sea of varsity letterman jackets.

“hey, brett?” with her head hidden deep into the primary compartment of her school bag, andie hadn’t even noticed that she had interrupted whatever conversation brett had begun with his basketball brothers. “do you happen to know where barbara is? i let her borrow one of my pencils and i was hoping to get it back before the end of the day.”

a few snickers emerged from the surrounding audience.

“barbara?”

“holland. sits next to you.”

the rambunctious chuckles grew louder before being interrupted by an obnoxious: “ooh! harsh!”

brett and andie quickly turned to a red-head who decided it was appropriate to chime in. he was quickly silenced with a light smack and shamed by another boy in a matching green woolen jacket.

andie was unsure what she had said that was so controversial. all she wanted was her pencil back. it wasn’t a national emergency.

“does it look like i would know? or care?”

examining brett’s expression, andie grew surprised at his air of irritation. his thick, black eyebrows were lowered and drawn together. an indistinct crinkle formed on the bridge of his nose. his previously mischievous appeal had been replaced with a defined look of frustration.

when the realization finally struck her, andie felt herself blush with minor embarrassment.

“oh, sorry. i forgot—”

“why don’t you ask nancy wheeler? they’re practically dating.”

brett’s tone had softened as the conversations surrounding the two had been released from an uncomfortable stillness. andie assumed that her apology was enough evidence to brett that she didn’t mean any malice with her inquiry.

“gross! that’s harrington’s girl!” it seemed as if the red-headed boy hadn’t received as severe of a reprimand to remain quiet. he continued to speak, “still can’t believe she turned you in.”

another boy decided to weigh in with his “groundbreaking” opinions on this topic, “i can’t believe she still shows up to class. i would’ve switched schools by now.”

“and she acts like she didn’t expect people to react. what’s the saying? talk shit, get hit?”

there was a gaggle of cruel laughter.

andie tried desperately to ignore the images of the timid girl that flooded her mind. it was easy for her to turn a blind ear when the taunts and jeers were being slung but it was harder for andie to forget the explicit bullying she had witnessed.

“hey, brett, speaking of ‘carb’-ra… isn’t your hearing today?”

no one moved to chastise the red-head, they were more interested in brett’s potential response; andie included.

“yeah.” the answer was terse. brett had begun to search through his own bookbag as if to busy himself from any further questioning. it was evident that he wasn’t interested in matching the immaturity of his colleagues.

this time, a boy with shaggy, brown hair spoke. physically, he was much smaller than the other individuals who wore the same army-green coat over their arms, “aren’t you nervous?” his voice cracked. andie was unsure if his vocal strain was because he was intimidated talking to brett, who was much larger and seemingly confident, or if perhaps he was still wading through the treacherous waters of puberty.

“not really,” brett hadn’t lifted his head. he presented as deeply focused on deciding which number two pencil to use today. this was obviously a more important decision than how to approach any of the questions being thrown as him. “there’s not much else they can take away from me. they already took my valedictorian title.”

andie felt her pulse quicken. she knew ‘they’ referred to the school administrators, but she took the attack personally. she had technically taken his title.

“you don’t think they’ll take your jersey?”

“not unless they want to lose any chance they have at a spot in the championships.”

the red-headed boy, the brunette and the remaining basketball players who had invited themselves to join in on this conversation replied with a chorus of affirmation. they all seemed fairly pleased at brett’s responses to their impromptu interrogation.

andie remained quiet while her ulnar artery began to throb incessantly. she had hoped that she seemed just as curious as the jocks; that she didn’t let on that she was more involved in this scandal then she had ever hoped to be.

last september had been a particularly difficult month for andie.

her classes had just started and she had decided to run for student government. the blonde had begun creating posters and outlining speeches for her campaign, was still getting booked at least twenty hours a week to babysit, staying an active member of at least nine organizations on campus, working with faculty to improve her mentor-mentee club, learning how to drive a new car, volunteering at a local nursing home and trying to maintain her sanity. while the young perfectionist was accustomed to balancing a hectic schedule, both she and her lonely, underused mattress could agree that she had bitten off more than she could chew.

nevertheless, she knew that all her hard work was not going to waste. she knew that her activism was going to make her stand out to the college admissions boards. she would be thankful later. still, andie knew that being involved in the community wasn’t enough to grant her a golden ticket to any university. gaining exceptional grades was also crucial. she had to be a top student.

the top student.

it wasn’t as if this was hard for andie, she had been pulling straight-a’s since elementary school  — but so had brett li.

brett and andie were very much the same. they had the same goals, ambition and drive. they both wanted to go to an ivy league university, wanted to get a degree in science, dreamed of helping others, had the appropriate appeal to excel in interviews and served the town of hawkins well. while these similarities are what had brought them closer as friends, it had also made them tighter competition as college applicants.

they nearly looked the same on paper.

brett stood out from andie, though, in that he had a position on a sports team. admissions members appreciated those who had served on the field as it showed an incredible dedication to cooperation.

andie passionately disagreed. knowing how to share a ball with someone else shouldn’t be celebrated. she and the rest of her kindergarten class had learned how to do that before turning six. plus, being a team-player was great until it was time to vote for the “most valuable player”—a title meant for one, single person.

brett’s advantage meant that andie needed something special for herself. she needed something that brett didn’t have. she needed something that brett couldn’t have because it was specific for one person and one person only.

she needed the valedictorian title.

she needed the valedictorian title more than she needed a twenty-hour nap.

the race had for the top student position was always fluctuating between the two teens, relying on whoever received the higher “a” on an exam. andie always waited for brett to stumble, hoping that one day he would realize that he valued the court more than he valued the classroom, but the idea had slowly turned into a fantasy. they would always be neck and neck.

or so she thought.

andie remembered the morning of october thirteenth feeling the same as every day spent in indiana. it was cold, rainy and wet—another perfect day to sit inside small, stuffy rooms with a dozen other teenagers who were choking on the same stale, chalk-infested air.

it was just another day with just another english exam. it was just another time that she had to get one more question correct than the boy sitting in front of her.

“ready?” andie had asked as she and brett ventured through hawkins high, a sense of giddiness bubbling inside of her.

there was no way brett was going to outperform her. she had stayed up all night, studying cymbeline until her weary eyes begged for reprieve. her pink, highlighter-stained fingers vaguely matched the purple-ish hue ringing beneath her waterline.

“for?” brett spoke with a level of disinterest.

“the exam!” andie spun around so that she could stand in front of the towering teen. their trek through the school halls had halted as andie was now an obstacle in brett’s path. “wait…” as andie continued, she lowered her voice such that it was only a faint whisper. placing her dainty hand flat across her chest, her lengthy fingers sat patiently above her rapidly beating heart.

“you’re telling me you’re not prepared, brett?” she gasped harshly, feigning utter devastation. her jaw hung slightly agape. “oh, god! what will mr. martinez say? what about your parents? can i speak at the funeral for your gpa? i can give the eulogy. it’ll be hard but it’s the least i can do.”

brett gave andie a dismissive scoff, accenting the miffed noise with a brief roll of the eyes. “in your dreams, peterson. i didn’t even open the book but i can promise i’ll still run circles around you.”

he strode past the theatrical blonde who now was overflowing with laughter. andie wondered if she should get involved with the drama club after giving such a riveting performance.

“you just make it so easy,” brett watched out of the corner of his eye as andie’s smug disposition began to fade into mild annoyance. if asked, brett would say that his greatest superpower was humbling the ever-so-forward andie.

“oh, please,” andie’s words dripped with skepticism. she didn’t believe in brett’s assertion for a second, “don’t pretend like i’m not your biggest competition.”

their playful banter continued as they walked through the heavy classroom doors and found their seats.

“really? do you think muhammad ali is afraid of archie moore?” brett hoped to stun the girl with a sports reference. he knew andie was well-versed in many areas of study but floundered when it came to athletics.

“no.” andie leaned forward on her elbows to further close the space between the two of them. their proximity caused andie to crinkle her nose at the smell of brett’s warm, amber cologne. the smell was strangely alluring despite brett’s antagonistic presence. a hint of a smirk emerged upon andie’s glossed lips as she knew exactly how to respond, “that’s why i’m your liston.”

she clapped him once on the shoulder to further assert her triumph and congratulate the boy on his defeat. brett couldn’t help but match andie’s sly smile.

“maybe. but ali still beat liston.” turning to face the front of the class, brett allowed andie to revel, alone, in her own embarrassment.

andie could almost feel the tinge of red sparking at the tip of her nasal bridge. she made a mental note to invest in a more comprehensive sports encyclopedia.

more students filed in as brett and andie prepared for battle with their sharpest number two pencils.

each examination held an immense amount of weight that no other hawkins high attendee could fully comprehend. neither party could falter as it only took one mistake for a competitor to fully release the valedictorian crown from their intense, white-knuckled grasp.

“andrea?”

andie silently cursed whomever it was who had pulled her attention away from the impending duel.

“sorry, i know you like to focus before our exams. but, i forgot my pencil, do you happen to have a spare?”

andie directed her gaze towards the resigned voice, immediately regretting her needlessly bitter stare at the girl sitting diagonal from her. if any one else had asked, she would have made up some excuse to prevent herself from having to lend out one of her beloved writing utensils but barbara holland had never previously imposed on andie.

in fact, andie couldn’t think of a time when barbara had imposed on anyone. the red head who loved plaid was so soft-spoken that she often got forgotten when thrown in with all the bold personalities inhabiting the small town school. andie assumed this was why barbara had claimed nancy wheeler as her best friend. the two girls were both quiet although nancy was demure in a more appealing way.

“yeah, of course. just give it back when you’re done. i only have seven left and i need them to last me the rest of the school year.”

barbra blinked twice, silently unpacking the unnecessary intensity behind andie’s reply. “sure. no problem. thanks.”

after andie completed her good deed, she watched as the class instructor called attention to himself. she could faintly make out the clock behind his head reading nine o’clock.

the instructor enforced that there was to be no talking, no leaving the class for any reason and no cheating: all simple rules that andie had been spoon-fed since she began her career in the public education system. she always wondered why every teacher was so adamant about repeating these guidelines with every assignment. everyone knew what was expected of them. she never knew of any person who deliberately disobeyed the commands. the risk was too extreme.

when andie was handed her exam, she began dissecting it for what it was. she soon found that she was too prepared, as she usually was, finishing in half of the time the class was allotted. the fidgety boy in front of her seemed to be having an opposite experience.

usually, andie would have minded her own business, allowing for her classmate to do whatever he so pleased, but this type of activity was uncommon for brett and, quite frankly, she was intrigued. he usually sat, still and stoic, concentrating all his energy on the paper before him. she wondered if, for the first time since she had known him, he was struggling.

her eyes flickered to focus on the head of black hair in front of her, watching for a moment as he scratched his dull fingernails across his temple.

and then she saw it.

she saw exactly what she had been looking for. her checkered flag, her red ribbon finish line, her sign of victory. it was her fantasy being sprung to life.

she watched as brett gently turned towards the quiet, non-imposing girl sitting next to him. he was careful as not to be too obvious as he was committing an unspoken classroom crime. his eyes drifted to the sheet of paper not in front of him, but across the aisle.

brett li was cheating.

and andie wasn’t the only one who had noticed.

barbara peered through her thick-rimmed glasses, most likely having felt the intense weight of being watched. when her eyes met with brett’s, a look of white shock painted itself across her already pallor complexion.

andie held her breath, a nearly invisible bystander to this silent confrontation. her own awe-stuck eyes anxiously flickered between the two teens. she waited for either party to move or address the incident that they had fallen into.

brett broke the stagnant air with a slow, calculated motion. he shook his head briefly, never breaking his fixed look upon barbara. this was his plea, his apathetic beg for mercy.

andie’s consternation continued to bulge, ready to burst at any moment. if andie had been in brett’s place, she would have been blinded by desperation. she could not fathom how the boy could remain so brutally, fatally calm.

the potential of action hung tensely in the air, suffocating its audience of one.

slowly and almost painfully, andie watched as barbara diverted her attention back to the sheet in front of her, too frightened to pursue this case further.

andie blinked to ensure herself that this hadn’t been a dream, that she had witnessed this act misconduct.

andie wondered how often brett had taken to cheating. his stealth and extreme level of confidence had her convinced that this was something that he had practiced numerous times. how many times had he done this? was it once a week? once a month? once a class? or was andie wrong and had he just been so unlucky to have been caught cheating his first and only time?

and who else knew? had he told his basketball friends? his coach? the last cheerleader who had the pleasure of making out with him in the back of his ferrari? or was this a dirty little habit that he would take to the grave?

andie felt a debilitating heaviness grow in her chest as she recounted all the times she would berate herself for not living up to brett’s standards—for fading into second place. she scorned all the scorching tears she cried for not being able to achieve the ultimate goal she had set out for herself.

she had held so much needless disdain for herself. if only she could apologize.

now, andie knew with full conviction, that she was the best. she was the top student. she was the smartest person in hawkins, indiana. work had to be fabricated in order to live up to her own, original product.

she exhaled both the breath that she had been holding and her powerful realization through pursed lips, reverting her attention back to the crisp sheets of paper in front of her.

as the bell rang to signify that students were required to progress with their day, andie watched as brett and barbara wordlessly handed in their exams and exited the classroom. she purposefully held back to give them the opportunity to address what had happened in privacy.

she also looked to address the situation herself.

andie cleared her throat, the shaky sound echoing around the now vacant room.

she knew she had to say something. yes, brett was soft of her friend and, yes, she liked him, but she loved herself more. she had to do this for the insecure girl within who had worked so tirelessly and sacrificed so much happiness only to be in the same position as a man who had cheated his way to the top.

if she didn’t speak out, she would not only be doing a huge injustice to education system but every student who had worked their asses off to get appropriate marks—students like barbara whose work was being stolen and used for another person’s advantage.

further, if she said something, there was the chance that she could be the new valedictorian, sans competition. she wouldn’t have to worry about falling victim to a silver medal ever again.

andie only had a few minutes before the next class was to invite themselves in; she had to make it quick.

“mr. martinez,”

“andrea, i don’t have the answer key on me so i can’t tell you how you did. and, i told you, it’s not fair to the other stu—”

“yes, i know. that’s not what i came to talk to you about.”

“oh,”

the older gentleman was seemingly taken off guard. he ran his hand through his matted, greyed curls and leaned back in his chair.

“i saw something and i wanted to bring it to your attention… but i would like to remain anonymous.”

the man furrowed his brow and nodded his head gently. his weary eyes scanning andie’s face for any sign of mischief.

andie sucked in a deep breath.

“i saw brett li cheating on your exam today.”

she waited for any sign of emotion. when she failed to receive any form of a response, she continued.

“i know it might be hard to believe because he’s such a remarkable student but i wouldn’t come to you unless i was positive. and it’s probably going to be hard for you to pursue this because it’s really just hearsay coming from me and there’s no one else to support what i’m saying but i—i just suggest you cross-check his exam with barbara holland’s. i have a feeling you’ll find very similar answers.”

she paused. still no response. she was only met with an inquisitive stare.

“i just—i felt like it was my duty to let you know. there are so many students in your class who work hard to achieve an a or even a b. i would hate to discredit all of the hours they spent studying.”

she debated elaborating further but felt the words spilling from her mouth like an unwavering stream.

“also, with the valedictorian race being as close as it is, i don’t think that it’s appropriate to celebrate the achievements of someone who stands against the very purpose of education. i expect that you wouldn’t stand for that.”

andie hoped that she hadn’t taken things too far by mentioning the valedictorian race. she didn’t want to make her claims sound like a personal vendetta that she only brought to light because she would benefit. maybe she was partially driven by her own selfishness but no one else needed to know.

“just… for your consideration.”

neither andie nor her instructor moved from their respective positions. she inferred that, being the intellectual he was, he was reflecting intently on what had just been said; considering his options before giving andie a response. as a teacher, rhetoric could be easily misconstrued, placing one in a precocious situation. as the seconds continued to tick by, the absence of motion and sound grew more unsettling.

“i’ll look into it, andrea.” andie replied with a quick nod, relieved to be released from the disquieting stillness. it wasn’t as concrete a response as she had wished for, but it was something. “and i’ll keep your name out of it.”

a pleasant wave of relief washed over her.

“thank you.”

with that, she scooped up her school bag, slung it over her shoulder and disappeared into the crowded halls.

it had been weeks since her confession and andie hadn’t told a single soul. she hadn’t even discussed the issue with her parents with the fear that they would somehow inadvertently expose her as a tattletale.

andie knew that her profoundly “normal” existence within the walls of hawkins high school would cease if news broke that she was the one who knocked the golden boy from his perch. she knew she wouldn’t be tolerated. she knew she wouldn’t win class president. she knew she wouldn’t be allowed to step foot in the lunchroom. she knew she would have to endure name-calling, teasing and intimidation daily. she knew she wouldn’t be respected even if she knew that she had done the right thing.

hence, andie allowed for the entirety of hawkins high student body to believe that barbara holland was the one to blame for destroying brett li’s academic reputation. she was the only other witness to this crime. naturally, it had to have been her.

andie allowed for someone else to take her fall.

she allowed for someone else to endure suffering such that she wouldn’t have to.

and yet, andie had the audacity to stand in front of her peers and proclaim that anti-bullying was her student government campaign platform. she even went so far as to publicly condemn those who had made victims out of others. andie wondered if steve harrington was right for calling her a grade-a hypocrite.

as fast as she had faded into her memory, she was thrown back into reality by the familiar drone of the school bell.

she hadn’t been less excited to re-enter a world where she could mourn the loss of her integrity, a child-shaped piece of her heart and one of her favorite pencils.

“riveting stuff, huh?”

andie laughed half-heartedly at brett’s remark, shoving the class materials that had been dispersed across her desk into her satchel.

“yeah…” she pretended as if she had paid attention during lecture. pretending had become easy to andie. she had been pretending she was a good friend to brett for too long. she wondered if she really should join drama club.

“hey, before you go,” brett softly cupped andie’s knit-covered shoulder, extending forward his free hand. andie could see he was holding something within his bulky fist, “because we all know barbara isn’t so great at living up to her word.”

andie admired the freshly sharpened, school-bus yellow stick that was being offered to her. it had to have been the most beautiful pencil she had ever seen.

“you’re ridiculous.” she shook her head lightly, her ponytail bobbing rhythmically behind her. “i really don’t need that. it’s not that big a deal.”

brett’s hospitable attitude towards andie made it difficult for her to forgive herself. how could she have been so selfish to ruin any chance this foolish boy had at leaving this filthy, close-minded town?

“take it.”

andie wrapped her fingers around the token of friendship. her long, rounded digits lingering as they brushed gingerly against brett’s.

if only he knew—andie presumed the pencil would be lodged like a stake within her heart.

“alright, fine.” she tucked it away. “just don’t expect to get it back if you happen to forget yours. it’s mine now and my days of letting people borrow things are over.”

a ray of sunshine painted itself across brett’s features. he really saw a confidant in the plucky yet stealthily-deceptive blonde.

“i’ll see you later, andie.”

andie stepped into the long, tiled corridor that lay just outside her classroom. she barely had time to allow her heartache to reemerge with new tribulations before her senses were swarmed with low, mysterious rumblings.

“was barb in there?”

“i didn’t see barbara come out.”

“shit, maybe she really did hop town. i hope what i said to her last week wasn’t too much.”

andie strode past the group of guilt-stricken girls, letting their words cling to her already frazzled brain.

what was it with barbara holland? why had she suddenly become the most popular girl in school in what felt like the most unfortunate circumstances?

hawkins was potentially the most boring city in the midwestern united states and andie understood why anyone would want to skip past the county lines but there was no way that barbara could have planned an escape. not just barbara but no student within the building had enough money to do so, as much as they would like to brag that they did. no one was smart enough to circumvent the “no minors driving past eleven” rule nor did she think anyone was brave enough to do so and risk facing the new, big-city police chief, jim hopper.

barbara was probably just sick. the flu had been particularly unforgiving this year.

only a minute had passed before andie found someone that she could discuss the odd rumor with. her gaze had quickly locked on to a set of safe, cinnamon-colored eyes.

“maeve standish!”

in no time, she had found herself at maeve’s side. quite honestly, there was no one else andie felt the urge to gossip with. she felt confident in their strong, budding friendship.

“maeve, do you know what all of this whispering is about? i keep hearing barbara’s name but no one has told me anything.”

andie’s articulated expression could not have been more different from the blubbering heap maeve had experienced last night. andie was almost humiliated that she had unloaded all her emotions upon the new student. she had hoped that her vulnerability had brought them closer as confidants, but she could never be sure.

“andie, barbara never came to school yesterday.”

andie stood frozen in her place. she always prided herself on her intuition. her general acuity to detail was astounding. even with all the stress she had been under, how could she have been so foolish as to not recognize the absence of the girl who had involuntarily been elected as her own, personal scapegoat?

“they think she was either abducted or ran away tuesday night. i’m so sorry—i thought you’d have heard. maybe it’s just…”

alarm sirens began to blare in andie’s head as she gripped tightly onto the bony hand that had nestled itself into her own. maeve’s words faded into background noise as andie’s mind began to race.

there was no way this was happening.

what was happening to hawkins?

how could the tiny, harmless town become a hub for so much destruction?

“oh my god,”

she exhaled exasperatedly, grappling with the thought that maybe she was the reason that barbara had wished to get lost.

there had been so much loss: will lost his life, brett lost the valedictorian race and now barbara had lost contact.

if she wasn’t careful, andie knew she would be next—having lost her precious mind.

•••

style inspiration: IN PROGRESS!

song inspiration: https://bit.ly/2hBTiil

[dandyandiepeterson]

– I’M GONNA HARDEN MY HEART, I’M GONNA SWALLOW MY TEARS

( harden my heart, quarterflash )

•••

vi. attending a football game at hawkins high/reaction to finding the body of will byers

•••

andie always felt as if her life moved much slower than any other teenager’s; minutes constantly felt like days, hours felt like years. she was always waiting for something, anticipating her future, and today was no different.

she began her day anxiously awaiting any updates on the disappearance of will byers. later, she waited to speak in front of her fellow peers to showcase herself as a talented and competent leader. and now? she waited for the results of what was potentially the most memorable student council election in hawkins high school history.

andie wondered if there would ever be a time in her life where she didn’t feel as if she were standing in line for some magnificent disneyland attraction.

it had been hours since andie presented to the student body and yet her name was still the one on everyone’s lips. she told herself it was because she was an excellent public speaker but she knew it was because of her bold decision to come after the boy who had been the appointed king of the underclassmen.

although steve harrington had already expressed his anger towards her words, andie was almost thankful that she had suffered through his tirade. at least she wouldn’t have to wait for him to find out about her actions. the deed was done.

just as andie contemplated if she had made the right decision in uncovering a situation that had not involved her, andie had taken much consideration in attending the hawkins high football game that would be held later in the evening.

andie had never been into sports. the hobby took too much time, attention and money away from other deserving activities like marching band, drama club and underwater basket-weaving. she couldn’t stand to see a bunch of self-righteous teenagers be praised for tossing around some deflated ball and slamming their bodies against each other. the entire concept of football was primitive, and slightly homoerotic.

wednesday night football was a tried and true tradition in hawkins, indiana. coming out and spending your paycheck on overpriced bottles of water and cheaply produced hotdogs had become a special treat to the small town.

while andie had only attended these weekly events a handful of times, mostly with her father who was assigned to collect the scoring results of the match to report them to his “sportscaster” colleague, she had planned to go tonight. after all of the destruction she had caused in the social hierarchy of hawkins high school, she was sure she couldn’t cause any further damage. plus, she needed a distraction and all of her typical options such as studying or babysitting had been exhausted.

more importantly, everyone in attendance of the game would be the first to know who their next student body president was and andie would’ve been a fool if she refused to take advantage of that.

when andie arrived at the football field at which she had a life altering experience only two days prior, her mind wandered towards what this night would have in store. would her life change yet again? all of her dreams that she had worked so hard to achieve could finally come to fruition or just as easily crash and bury itself six feet underground alongside steve harrington’s pride. nevertheless, there was nothing further that she could do. she couldn’t change the outcome — unless somehow there was an ethical way to sneak into the principal’s office and stuff the ballot boxes with slips of her name.

there was nothing that she could change now.

“i promise things will be fine.”

andie looked to the soft-spoken brunette on her arm with wide and hopeful eyes.

andie and maeve standish had carpooled together to the game as per andie’s request. it had only been three days since maeve had been introduced to the nightmare that was currently hawkins but it was as if the two girls had known each other forever. there was something about maeve that allowed andie to feel completely at-ease, even in times of chaos.

maeve certainly may have been “the new girl” but it was incredible how normal she made andie feel.

“now, let’s get some snacks because the only reason i came tonight was to see you win and, let’s face it, the football team sucks.”

andie smiled for what felt like the first time in ages. maybe maeve was right. maybe she needed to stop looking at this election as a competition and more as a celebration of her own accomplishments.

sucking in a deep breath, the tall blonde seemed to come back into herself, exuding a typical expression of confidence and determination. standing erect, choosing to present herself as a warm, inviting flame on this frigid november evening.

“popcorn and nachos and sodas! let’s go.” andie demanded with a playful tone.

once andie and maeve had filled their arms with all of the stadium delicacies their young hearts could desire, they climbed the metal bleachers to reconvene with their small friend group.

andie had always had cameron — except for the time he moved to fort wayne for five years  — but with maeve came alice and brendan: two individuals with whom andie had limited interaction. of course, andie knew who alice and brendan were; all three of the teenagers grew up together. they just hadn’t done much with each other outside of a classroom setting.

andie greeted alice, brendan and cameron with cordial hugs before sitting on the edge of the bench next to maeve. almost immediately, she buried her chin into the warmth of her thick, woven scarf, afraid that if she even reemerged to shovel a tortilla chip into her mouth, mother nature would deliver a vicious, icy slap.

her eyes scanned the sea of high schoolers that had come out tonight, too many of them unfamiliar. andie feared that they didn’t even know who she was outside of her passionate speech.

a slice of solace was found in a slim, optimistic cheerleader currently at the top of a gymnastics stunt. she wore an electric smile, her arms in a stiff “v”. everybody at hawkins high knew morgan and if they didn’t, they wanted to know morgan. andie had prayed that her vice president’s popularity wouldn’t be the only reason people voted for them but knew that it caused them to be at a strong advantage.

andie waggled her fingers at morgan before holding out an exuberant thumbs-up. she wasn’t sure if she was cheering for morgan as her friend, as her running mate or as someone who appreciated how hard the athlete must have it standing in forty degree weather in only a blue, pleated mini-skirt.

the minutes seemed to pass faster once the game officially started. andie finally had something to target her attention on. she never understood the rules of football so she took to watching the game as a puzzle. she attempted to figure out what was happening on the field before brendan chimed in to clarify and gave herself bonus points if she could beat one of maeve’s comments about how delightful the football players looked in their spandex tights.

the game was halfway through the second quarter when maeve had excused herself, with andie’s permission, to go speak with a gorgeous cop she had met with a few days ago. andie had seen the man before and knew how desired he was. he was young, kind, attractive and held a position of authority which was always sexy. too many girls had faked engine failure to get him to come to the scene. andie knew it was only a matter of time before teenagers would begin staging a car accidents in order to spend more time with the police officer.

andie wasn’t sure when maeve would have an opportunity to speak with this man again so she knew she had to let her friend go. she wanted to let her friend go.

as maeve flitted towards the deputy whose nametag was too small to read at a distance, her space was immediately filled with a stocky, brown-haired boy.

“so,” cameron started, snatching a nacho chip from the tray in andie’s lap. “how are we feeling?”

“like my friends are greedy and taking advantage of all the snacks i bought.” she swiped the chip from cameron’s freezing digits, immediately throwing it into her mouth.

“ah-ha! so that ‘america’s sweetheart’ schtick was all an act to get votes! i knew you weren’t that nice!” he held his palm to his chest, shaking his head in disdain. “madame president bullies bullies and now she won’t even donate to charity! what will the press say now?!”

andie shoved cameron playfully, “hopefully that i won. i don’t think i can bite my nails any further.” she looked down at her angry, maroon cuticles, the skin frayed.

“you’re that hungry? the nachos aren’t enough?”

andie mouthed “stop!” to her long-time friend, the exclamation coming out breathy through her stream of suppressed giggles. she would never let cameron know but his awful, cheesy humor kept her sane. the fact that he could make a joke out of anything made andie reevaluate her life through a more relaxed, rose-colored lens.

“well, i’m starving. and not just for food.” andie followed his gaze, her own eyes narrowing to crinkled slits when she realized who her friend was looking at. of course, it was morgan lawson. the cheerleader had found her way into spotlight yet again.

“you’re disgusting, cam!” andie smacked him lightly in the bicep as he erupted into a fit of laughter. cameron had been in love with morgan since grade school. it was almost comical how oblivious morgan had always been to his advances. it was never cameron’s fault, though. she was the object of too many boy’s affection. she would never be able to please all of them.

“laugh it up! i’ll make sure you never get a date with her! in fact, a restraining order will be my first statute approved in office.”

“you know i’m only doing this to make you smile.”

andie formed a sly smirk and scanned his face for any further sign of vulgarity. when she could only find a cheeky boy with modest intentions, she nudged her shoulder merrily into his.

a blaring buzzer interrupted the friends. the sound roared through the crowd signifying that the first half of the game was over. andie sat up in her seat, an anxious knot fixing itself in the pit of her stomach. cameron shifted from her to give her appropriate space.

it was halftime. the time had come. she was moments away from finding out her fate.

morgan and the rest of the peppy squad rolled out onto the green terrain. her own body language mimicked andie’s. their sat perfectly aligned, chins jutted upwards. the girls looked as dignified as they could, unaware of who could be watching them.

a microphone screech broke through the sporting location followed by a crackled, apathetic “whoa, sorry” from whichever unlucky av club member had been assigned to announce the game. andie felt cameron’s large hand grasp hers as her breathing grew hasty with anticipation.

“before our terrific hawkins high tigresses perform their halftime routine, i have been aske— i mean,” he cleared his throat “bestowed the honor to announce who won this year’s student council election.”

students who had come out to the game continued to converse with their cliques while the monotone announcer droned on. it was clear that most attendees had little regard for the politics at hawkins high. however, they were always hopeful to seeing a flash of skin from any of the cheerleaders who were unprepared for combating a gust of wind.

“principal wexler wanted me to thank all of the candidates for the hard work and excellent effort they presented this year. this race was long and hard. there were many highs and many lows—“

“god, will he just get to it?” andie snapped, her ponytail bobbing behind her as she gently shook her head. she didn’t even bother to lower her voice. why should she when the announcer’s vote had already been cast? cameron appeased her frustrations with a small chuckle.

“—blood, sweat and tears were all shed on the election trail but we made it here today and for that we should be proud.”

a polite applause broke over the crowd and andie reluctantly joined in. she feared of looking arrogant clapping for herself but knew she deserved the praise.

“now, without any further delay, i’d like to introduce you all to your new student council president and vice president…”

andie shut her eyes and squeezed onto the hand nestled between her own until she couldn’t feel her fingers. she could hear heart thumping in her chest but had no idea where the blood was traveling to as the rest of her body felt numb with anxiety.

andie didn’t want this position—she needed it. this would carry her to columbia. this would stick it to steve harrington and all her other peers who underestimated her. this would entice change in a community that so desperately needed it. this would define her for the rest of her high school career. andie needed this to know she had always been as capable as she always believed she was. she needed the validation.

“congratulations to miss andrea peterson and her running mate, miss morgan lawson.”

“yes!”

andie leapt from her seat and threw her arms around cameron’s neck, letting out a ear-piercing squeal of exhilaration. she barely noticed that the announcer had continued drawling or that cameron had nearly been taken to the floor by the sheer force of her impact.

“yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!”

she had done it. andrea peterson had secured the hawkins high presidency and, in turn, her own fate. the sky was the limit for andie. she had proven to herself and all of her classmates that she was a force to be reckoned with. nobody would question her ability ever again.

cameron lifted the blonde up and andie couldn’t help but let out a rambunctious laugh.

“i told you, andie! didn’t i tell you?!” he twirled her around as she continued to explode with glee. after setting her down, andie was immediately ambushed by another body.

“andrea! congratulations!”

if it hadn’t been for the rich, woodsy scent of his cologne and the cold feel of his leather jacket, andie wouldn’t have known that it was brendan who had embraced her. this was definitely much friendlier than the hug she had greeted him with.

it was through these clues that andie could only deduce that the delicate hand that had been placed on her shoulder belonged to alice. her assumptions were validated when she heard a raspy yet sympathetic voice.

“andrea, this is really so amazing. congrats!”

when brendan opened his arms to release her, andie couldn’t help but place her palm over her abdomen. she had nearly forgotten to breathe, too wrapped up in her moment of bliss. her face had grown crimson with elation and she was suddenly aware of where all the blood she previously assumed was lost had rushed to.

“thank you, thank you! i’m just—i’m so—” she let her hand glide over her features and then across the soft, hairspray slicked locks that preceded her high ponytail. another lively laugh broke from her frame and her friends soon followed suit. cameron spoke between chuckles.

“andie peterson? speechless?! jot that down, it’s history in the making!”

she couldn’t wait to tell everyone, especially maeve. maeve had been her closest companion throughout the race. she had given andie the courage to give such a riveting closing statement. truly, andie believed that she would not have won without the support from her newest friend. she knew that no celebration that she could be having now could ever come close to the celebration she and maeve would share.

andie shifted to look out across the football field; just a small portion of her new kingdom. she had been so wrapped up in her own achievement that she hadn’t begun to think of the thrill morgan must have been feeling.

this election wasn’t as important to her. morgan didn’t have anything to prove to anyone; but the taste of victory was always sweet.

morgan sat on the shoulders of her teammates as they hoisted her in the air like a spectacular trophy. the brunette wore a brilliant smile; one more brilliant than any of the others she had presented at these games. her straight, white teeth were almost blinding when combined with the stadium lights that had transformed into her spotlight.

a chant broke out from the cheerleaders and soon began to pass over the crowd.

“morgan, morgan, morgan!”

morgan began to wave at the individuals on the bleachers, peppering in a few saucy winks for good measure. the girls lifted her higher and the voices grew louder.

“morgan, morgan, morgan!”

morgan was so clearly a star in every sense of the word. she was utterly adored, cherished and untouchable.

she was everything andie had wished she could be.

andie was a black hole.

under the sea of shouts swam a few additional phrases from audience members. andie pretended not to listen but couldn’t help herself from sucking it all in.

“she’s so cool. how is she gonna let the president be such a hard-ass?”

“i told you morgan and that other girl would win!”

“i totally wouldn’t have voted if she wasn’t running.”

“kinda sucks that she’s only the vice president, huh?”

andie suddenly became overwhelmed with a sense of dread. even though she had won, she was still a loser.

the “pro-morgan” comments continued to swarm and it became more clear that andie that she had only won because of her childhood best friend.

how could she be so foolish as to think that anyone in hawkins could put aside their superficiality for more than two whole minutes?

no one wanted better school lunches. no one wanted a better school budget. no one wanted functioning water fountains. no one wanted to put a stop to bullying. no one wanted anything but to see their queen bee prosper. andie was just an accessory.

she wasn’t sure if losing would’ve hurt less.

as the realization continued to eat at andie, she turned away from the field where the gymnasts began to tumble. out of the corner of her eye, she saw them fling morgan into the air as she impressed the crowd, once again, with an impeccable toe-touch jump.

andie’s stomach sank as her friend continued to soar.

“hey, andie…”

she jumped at the interruption, cameron’s impossibly enormous hand clasping her shoulder. his touch had turned from comforting to startling in only a matter of minutes.

“everything alright?”

andie swatted at the tears that stung her eyes. she couldn’t cry now. although she had understood that absolutely no one was staring at her, she couldn’t show weakness. she couldn’t ruin all of the hard work she put in to curling and coating her eyelashes in maybelline mascara.

“everything’s great.”

“but you’re…” he reached towards her face and she gracefully dodged his touch. a single, lonely tear began to roll down her flushed cheek.

“i’m just really happy.” andie attempted to force her lips into an upward curve although she was sure she looked manic. her cheeks hurt from all the effort she had forced herself to maintain to appear ecstatic. she quickly reached for her bag, slinging the brown leather satchel over her shoulder. the weight of the bag was almost as heavy as her heart. “i—i’m gonna go tell my mom. i want to. she won’t believe it.”

andie swung away from her friends without another word. as she rapidly descended the stairs, her features began to grow more and more morose. by the time she reached the bottom of the fixture, a steady flow of tears had sprung free from her eyes.

she couldn’t believe how broken she felt. she had still won. the circumstances shouldn’t have mattered this much.

andie burst through the doors of her butter yellow, volkswagen beetle, crashing into the driver’s seat. she refrained from starting the car’s ignition, instead pressing her forehead tightly against the steering wheel while letting strangled sobs break from her body.

behind her confident demeanor, this is how andie always felt. she would always be a fragile, little girl failing to shine as bright as her peers.

andie let herself cry for longer than she needed to, the rumblings and howls from the football field serving as her soundtrack. her chest heaved as she lifted her head, a hand reaching to yank the sun visor. a few tears continued to stream when she saw her own reflection.

puffy, cherry eyes outlined with harsh black streaks that ran downwards to stain her cheeks, swollen lips that glistened with the residual nasal fluid that drenched her philtrum and a furrowed stressed brow stared back at her. she swiped her fingers harshly past her eyes, too disappointed with what she was seeing. how did she allow herself to get like this? she gave her cheeks a light slap as if to physically ask herself to pull herself together.

when she composed herself to the best of her ability, andie turned the key to start her car. she blew out a deep breath, shifted the car into reverse and began off into the blackness of the night.

andie arrived home, too embarrassed to relay all of the information of tonight’s events to her parents. she rushed through the front door and sped up to the second floor of the house, leaving her expectant parents with nothing more than a brief “we won”. she slammed her bedroom door behind her and flung herself onto her bed, continuing to cry as her parents quietly agreed to give their daughter the space she so desperately craved.

the blonde laid on her rose covered sheets for what felt like centuries, clutching a shaggy, pink throw pillow against her chest. she hadn’t moved from the second she hit her bed except to turn on a “carpenters” album. this was her way of silently communicating with her parents. they knew once the record ended, it was safe to speak with their daughter.

andie knew it was best if she just continued to let herself feel this paralyzing disappointment. she was desperate to get it all out from her system so she could return to her typical, assured self by seven o’clock tomorrow morning.

the second verse of “rainy days and mondays” was disrupted by a gentle knock at her door.

“not yet!”

andie barked, squeezing her eyes shut in an attempt to bury her frustration. hadn’t she played the music loud enough? didn’t her parents realize she wasn’t ready to talk yet?

a perfect mess of chestnut hair that was piled into a bun peered around the corner of her door and andie was instantly swept up by a devastating wave of guilt.

“maeve, oh my god, i’m so sorry–“ her throat was hoarse. she attempted to swallow in order to give her voice some relief. “i just, i had to get out of there.”

andie hoped that maeve understood the sincerity behind her apology. she truly didn’t mean to leave her friend stranded. she hoped that the girl would forgive her forgetfulness and selfishness as andie knew she’d never forgive herself.

“no, i understand,” maeve continued tentatively. her tiny outline fit perfectly next to andie as she laid down on the queen size mattress.

andie used her elbow to scoot herself into an upright position. not once did she lighten the grip on the pillow between her arms. she started to let herself overflow once again.

“i know we won and everything but… it was because of morgan. they all voted for her, not me. they don’t even care. it was all a popularity contest.” her statement was punctuated with a few sniffles. she knew that her outward display of grief caused maeve to stroke her tiny hand across andie’s tangled, golden locks. andie appreciated the soothing contact.

“andie, i need to tell you something.”

maeve’s sudden change of voice frazzled andie’s nerves. had there been a miscount of ballots? had she actually not won the election and the announcement at the football game was all just some sort of nasty, high school prank? she looked into maeve’s eyes for any sort of hint towards what she was implying.

“they found will’s body tonight, in the quarry across town.”

andie couldn’t move. the color drained from her face. her eyes stayed gigantic and open, glazing over with every second she failed to blink. her breath held still in her chest. she tried to react but she was crippled with shock.

somewhere far off, she heard maeve.

“andie, i’m so sorry. he’s gone.”

she proceeded to sit on her bed: motionless, reaction-less, breathless.

this wasn’t happening.

“no.”

this wasn’t real. this all had to be some sort of joke to get her to realize that winning an election due to frivolity wasn’t as disastrous as she had made it out to be. this was all a ploy staged for andie to check the privilege she had been gifted as an affluent teen and appreciate the opportunities that she had been given. she refused to believe that any of the information that she had been fed was valid.

when maeve’s concerned expression failed to falter, andie collapsed into hysteria.

a relentless screech broke from andie’s lungs. it quickly transformed into a distressing chain of deafening sobs.

her worst fear had come true. the lively twelve year old she had come to care so deeply about was dead.

andie crumbled under the realization that will would never experience any more birthdays. he would never go to prom. he would never have the chance to eat another peanut butter and jelly sandwich or go see a movie at “the hawk”. will wouldn’t know what it was like to graduate high school and leave this small, stubborn city for something bigger and better. he wouldn’t be able to spend an entire summer goofing around in the woods with his friends or playing in the local swimming pool. he would never have his first kiss, his first heartbreak, his first love. he wouldn’t have the chance to complete his multiplication tables or listen to mixtapes made by his brother.

he was gone. now and forever.

andie allowed herself to fall limp in maeve’s lap. her constant stream of wails reverberating off of the house’s striped wallpaper and caused her parents to rush into her doorway. they stood there, afraid to intervene, silently watching the girls as they attempted to swallow their own tears.

andie felt like she was going to die herself. this news felt like a tight chain pulling tighter and tighter around her neck. she was positive she would choke on her tears or would fall unconscious.

her world had shrunk. nothing mattered — this was true defeat.

•••

style inspiration: IN PROGRESS!

song inspiration: https://bit.ly/2lCJIlm

[dandyandiepeterson]

– YOU THINK YOU’RE SMART, THAT’S STUPID

( poison arrow, abc )

•••

v. witnessing steve and jonathan’s showdown in the parking lot

•••

there were few things in this world that andrea peterson couldn’t comprehend. she could understand research articles written by esteemed astrophysicists, analyze the great poems of the fifteenth century with grace, even navigate her way through the toughest of derivatives that would make the father of calculus scratch his chin; but kyle walcott? andie didn’t, she couldn’t, comprehend him.

what changed?

was there something toxic in the air that night? like a gas leak from hawkins laboratory? had the cigarette kyle had whipped out been a mere prop to disguise some sort of inhibition-reducing drug? was he a part of some cult where french-kissing with friends was common? andie wasn’t sure that she had read about that type of culture, or if it even existed, but she considered checking her encyclopedia collection again.

she had unexpectedly become unaware of so much. what was she to kyle now? was she to drop the word “lab” when referring to kyle as her lab partner? or was she to add the term “boy” when she was addressing the skinny teen as her friend?

unsurprisingly, andie had never kissed anyone before kyle which was why she had become more manic than usual. this was a new field of study to her and, regrettably, for all parties involved, she couldn’t find the answers to her inquiries in a textbook.

despite the questions plaguing her brain, part of andie had become grateful that she had been served this new course. this dish of drama allowed her to take her mind off of the mystery of will byers. and at least this sample contained a bit of sweetness.

this sugar rush propelled andie into her wednesday and she found herself gushing about the situation to every face she met. unfortunately, for her new-found best friend maeve, she was to receive the brunt of it.

“it was crazy,” andie expressed enthusiastically to the brunette on their way to school, a frenzy of butterflies erupting in her stomach as she reflected on the event. “but it all happened so fast! one second we were talking, like you and me are now, and the next…” she looked expectantly at the girl sitting next to her, hoping that she didn’t sound too insane.

“bam?” maeve quipped playfully, her mouth suppressing an excited smile.

“bam! exactly! it was like lightning! i haven’t been able to think straight since.” the young blonde chewed on her bottom lip. “yeah, he was my first kiss but i couldn’t help but think that it felt so right, you know? like we had both been waiting for this forever.”

andie wished she could stop herself. she so desperately wanted control over this situation but she was lost. she was a newfound cinderella who hadn’t so much as lost her shoe as she had lost her mind.

“was it the same with you and your deputy?”

a humorous sigh broke through the air between them as maeve turned to look out her car window, “i’ll tell you when it happens.”

“you haven’t kissed him yet?! what did you two even do last night?!”

she couldn’t have been more surprised. maeve and this boy, whose name had not yet been revealed to andie, had plans to go on actual dates. they hadn’t been apart since the day they met. andie wondered if she, herself, should disappear in the hope that history would repeat itself and her friend could get some action.

“this isn’t about me, this is about you!” maeve turned back toward andie, a tinge of red peeking through on her porcelain cheeks. she seemed to eager to change the conversation and and andie knew it wasn’t her place to stop her. “are you ready to present your presidential campaign this afternoon?”

“definitely! who do you think i am?” she pulled into her usual parking spot, not yet turning off the car. normally, andie would rush into the building despite being exceptionally early to busy herself; but, in the recent days, she had found more pleasure in talking to hawkins high’s “new girl”.

“even if i had kissed tom cruise, i wouldn’t have let that cloud my responsibilities. and if i ever do let a boy get in the way of my success, please feel free to smack me.”

the two joined each other in a brief chuckle before maeve chirped a quick “ditto”.

although andie hadn’t forgotten about the presentation she was to give and knew that she was grossly prepared, she was still anxious. she had completed the first draft of her speech one month before volunteers were even asked to run for office but knew that whatever she said would be nowhere near perfect. she knew that she spoke extremely well and had a commanding stage-presence, courtesy of the local superstar that was her father, but she had to be monumental to be remembered by her peers. it was doubtful that a discussion about  balancing the school’s budget would thrill anyone other than her fellow student government association members.

“i’m just worried that i don’t have a campaign platform that will make me stand out. there’s nothing special about me saying i want to ‘fix this school’.”

“you’re being too hard on yourself. you’re going to be great, andie. no one is more passionate about this school than you are and everyone knows it. you losing the race would be worse than…” maeve’s eyes shifted to her lap as if she’d find a good metaphor there, “than if madonna announced that she was retiring!”

andie threw her palm across her chest, feigning devastation before throwing her head back with laughter. “the horror!”

“and just remember to picture the audience naked if you get nervous. it works like a cha—“ maeve stopped herself quickly, her brown eyes growing wide like saucers. “oh, actually, don’t do that! i think kyle’s gonna be there and that—“

andie gasped loudly before shoving her friend with a substantial amount of force. the girls may have only known each other for a few days but andie couldn’t recall how she spent her life without maeve in it.

the rest of andie’s day seemed to creep by at a snail’s pace. it seemed like it took years for a single second to pass. every minute served as a prelude to her great presidential speech. she so desperately wished for the moment to arrive so that her incessant worrying could finally cease.

once she presented, she wouldn’t have to anticipate any further about the “what-ifs”. she didn’t have to think about if she should talk about the types of outreach she’s participated in or if she should make her platform more concrete so the average hawkins student with an iq score of seventy-five could comprehend what she was saying. the situation would be completely out of her hands, which was even more terrifying but, at least, it wasn’t something that she could change.

when the bell releasing students from their last class rang, andie met with maeve yet again. the two girls had left their after-school materials in andie’s car as though not to have to stuff their lockers with unnecessary items. neither was to make the other venture to the breezy parking lot alone so they decided to take the trip together. not only did she want to keep her friend company but andie was grateful that they decided to do this together. the lengthy walk allowed her enough time to rehearse her speech to maeve for the thousandth time.

as she cleared her throat to begin, andie found herself lost in her environment. when she was focused on something that mattered to her, the issue at hand was the only thing in her world. she was only thrust back to existence when maeve’s cool hand gripped her lower arm. “look,” she uttered, just loud enough for the two of them to hear.

before andie could even question what she was looking at or why it was so important that she had been cut off, it struck her.

about five yards away stood multiple figures in a circle. three of them were hard to distinguish but the other two were undeniable.

the first person andie could recognize was steve harrington. there was no one else at hawkins who could maintain a perfect coif atop their head throughout all six class periods. the other was jonathan byers. although she wasn’t in the direct vicinity, andie could sense the panic in the older byers brother’s eyes.

steve and the others jeered at the pale boy like lions during the zoo’s feeding time, stopping briefly only to greet nancy wheeler into the group. andie knew that nancy and steve were a new item but she couldn’t believe that the girl she had once called a friend was now a participant in this abuse.

on the other hand, this was typical for steve. he had a deep history of being a jerk. too much of his life was spent making fun of those who wouldn’t do a kegstand for more than thirty seconds or hadn’t made out with half of the graduating class. he was everything that andie hated; a walking cliché that put all teen movie jocks to shame.

andie wasn’t sure when it had started but steve viewed himself as a superior; although, objectively, he was far from it. his grades were lacking, his comedy lacked a johnny carson flair and he, at best, had a bronze personality. the only thing that he had going for him was his attractiveness and, in a town that worshiped everything and valued nothing, she was sure that caused his complex to not only begin but thrive.

as the fight grew more intense, andie wondered about getting involved. she halted, pondering how unfortunate it would be to speak to the general public of hawkins high school with a black eye. instead, she stood idle and held her breath, watching as the kids tossed around jonathan’s beloved camera like a baseball.

she exhaled as the taunting seemed to conclude and steve held out jonathan’s camera at arm’s length for him to retrieve. how typical of steve. he was all bark and no bite.

andie’s eyes continued to focus on the cherished possession that sat comfortably in his palm. as soon as jonathan leaned forward to grab it, though, it fell from purposely from steve’s fingers, crashing onto the hard pavement with a harsh shattering noise.

andie felt the grip against her wrist release itself, her attention immediately shifting back to the girl who had been holding her. fear grew in her chest as maeve began to storm after the tormentors, anger on her brow and her hand balling up into a fist.

“maeve, no!” andie now found herself reaching for maeve’s forearm. “you can’t fight everyone who does something like–”

“the hell i can’t!” she interrupted, pulling her arm from andie’s grasp. the instant she looked at andie, she let out a soft sigh. andie knew that maeve’s forlorn response was probably directed at the saddened look that was plastered across her face.

andie had hoped that maeve knew how upset she was about all of this. steve had been making victims out of people like jonathan way before the brunette arrived in hawkins so it was simply unsurprising at this point.

while jonathan wasn’t a saint, no one deserved to be scared when they walked on to the high school’s campus. it was infuriating to know that nothing had been done to protect the innocents and nothing was going to be done about it.

suddenly, it hit her.

what if something could be done?

what if andie could do something?

not for jonathan, of course, the repairs he would have to pay for for his equipment were exponential, but this was good for her.

“we’ll get him but we’ll do it the smart way.”

maeve’s quizzical look only encouraged a smirk to dominate andie’s peach-glossed lips.

“my new campaign platform is anti-bullying.”

once the scene of the hate crime had completely cleared, andie and maeve rushed to andie’s yellow beetle to carry out the mission they initially set out to complete. they grabbed andie’s debate note cards and retreated back into the building they had just left, slipping into the first empty classroom they could find.

“i don’t have much time but i think i know how i want to approach this.”

andie paced the floor, stopping only to grab a black pen off of an abandoned desk. she put the cap to her lips before placing it to paper.  

“god, can you believe him? i don’t know if you’ve had any experiences with steve harrington but i highly advise that you stay away. he’s nothing but an arrogant, ignorant—i don’t know why he’s so popular. really! what has he given to this school except an awful headache?”

“andie…”

“yeah, he’s conventionally attractive, but there are at least twenty other boys in this school who are just as cute and they have a higher gpa. oh, god, don’t even get me started on nancy. she’s basically throwing her life away for this boy and it’s all for what? so that she can—“

“andie…”

“—live out her john hughes fantasy?! it’s a joke! i don’t think she knows how seriously damaging this is for—“

“andie!”

andie whipped her head to look at maeve, her tightly-strung ponytail smacking lightly against the base of her neck. now that andie was silent, her friend stood, walking over to pluck at the pen cap that still encased the writing utensil nestled between the blonde’s fingers.

“just thought that would help.”

andie let out a pathetic laugh and fell into an empty seat. while she was highly logical, sometimes andie’s heart held more power than her head.

“sorry. i guess i got carried away.”

“rightfully so,” maeve replied, returning to her own chair and playing with the pen cap that was now in her possession. “it makes me sick. how anyone can treat another human being with such disrespect…” she shook her head with disgust, unaware if she could complete her own sentence.

andie nodded in agreement and sucked in a deep breath as if it were a magic trick to composing herself. “steve harrington is hawkins high’s biggest asshole.”

maeve’s giggle echoed through the empty space. most people were surprised to know that andie had a tendency of having a foul mouth as she was the dictionary definition of “goody-two shoes”; it looked as if maeve was no different.

““i’ll never let you live it down if you warm up to him some day, but then again, you may be mrs. andrea walcott sooner than later!”

“oh!” andie’s jaw hung agape as she grabbed one of her empty note cards, crumpled it into a compact ball and slung it at the girl across from her. she couldn’t help but let out a laugh of her own when it hit maeve lightly in the chest and slowly continued to roll across the floor.

for a moment, andie forgot about her impending fate, only glancing at the clock on the wall when it made an unusually loud tick.

“crap. do you mind if i run over my speech one more time with the new additions? i want to make sure it sounds good before i head up there,” she examined the timekeeping device again, a sense of urgency sweeping over her features. “i should have just the right amount of time.”

“of course.”

andie sped through her presidential address for the final time. when she finished, she took into account all of maeve’s praise, pleased that her peer had few pieces of criticism to offer. the two then left each other with a brief hug and a few words positive words of affirmation.

the moment she had been waiting for had arrived, whether or not andie had honestly wanted it to.

although she was to arrive at the gymnasium fifteen minutes before the event was to start, andie factored in enough time so that she could make a fast pit-stop in the restroom. she would use this time to collect her thoughts while also ensuring that her physical outlook was in the best quality that it could be. she had just hoped that she would have the lavatory to herself.

andie entered the empty bathroom and silently exalted whichever higher power had allowed her plan to be fulfilled. it would have been a hassle to truck down to the south hallway girl’s room and she wouldn’t have even been guaranteed a quiet place there. she approached the dirty mirror against the wall, her face slowly coming into focus.

she stood there in silence, staring into her own eyes.

“you can do this.”

andie had heard these words from so many others over the past few days, hours even, but sometimes she needed to hear them from herself. too many times andie had to be her own best friend, her own biggest fan, and although she had a rally of support behind her, she still guessed that repeating these words of affirmation wouldn’t cause any harm.

“you’re smart, you’re funny, you’re charismatic… they’d be a fool to hate you.”

she reached to loosen her ponytail, stuffing the hair-tie in her pocket and burying her fingers through her freshly released, golden curls. another few minutes were spent styling her hair until she was content with a casual side-part. the last matter she had to tend to was her makeup, in which, everything looked perfect except her lips. she took her favorite peach chap-stick from her pocket, dabbed it on and gave herself a final glance.

she looked powerful, determined and ready to take on whatever obstacle was to be thrown in her way. andie only assumed this was how geraldine ferraro felt on an everyday basis.

“go get ‘em.”

when andie arrived at the location behind the debate venue to where she was required to check-in with the other candidates, she flocked quickly to her running mate’s side. she celebrated that morgan had actually been early for this occasion. it was nothing short of a miracle.

“andie! hey, hey! how are you feeling?”

while morgan’s sheer popularity could be intimidating at times, the girl always carried an immense amount of warmth with her. andie always said that morgan should star in those infomercials about starving children in third-world countries; no one would be able to resist her affection. she was as down-to-earth as a head cheerleader could be.

“nervous but i always knew that i would be. i’ve practiced what i’m going to say a billion times so at least i know i’m prepared. i just, i really want—” andie looked down at her feet, careful not to show too much vulnerability. she couldn’t show any sign of weakness in this arena. “we have to win. how do you feel? did you practice?”

morgan waggled her fingers at a girl in a matching cheerleading uniform that passed, unaware that she had been asked a question until she noticed the demanding look on andie’s face. strangely enough, being too likable was also morgan’s greatest flaw.

“yeah, i mean, no. not since last friday. but i’ll be fine—we’ll be fine! it’s gonna be fun!”

before andie had a moment to open her mouth and express her extreme disappointment, a voice commanded the location. it seemed as if morgan had been so graciously saved by the bell… or at least the woman who controlled the bell system.

“it looks like we’re all here and ready to go!” lisa wexler spoke cheerfully, very clearly pleased to be the master of ceremonies this afternoon.

mrs. wexler was hawkins high’s admired principal. she always presented herself as an esteemed individual and made sure that her pupils were aware that they could come to her with any issue. she was open and trusting but still domineering. andie hoped that after she graduated, the two could be friends.

the only thing that was unfortunate was that she seemed to be in a perpetually positive headspace. if only her students actually talked to her and she was aware of the harm they inflicted upon each other. “let’s get this show on the road.”

principal wexler led the group into the gymnasium, followed closely by andie, morgan and the two boys they were running against. although the turn-out for this debate was far underwhelming, andie was pleased to see that at least a handful of students cared enough about their academics to attend.

after brief introductions and a concise explanation of what the assembly entailed, principal wexler asked if there were any volunteers to speak first, to which andie eagerly replied. going first not only meant that you still had your audience’s attention but if you somehow failed when presenting, there would be enough time left in the program to forget about it.

andie was welcomed to the podium with a modest applause, her gaze immediately catching hold upon maeve standish who had made it her duty to cheer in the front row. a wave of serenity swept over andie’s frazzled nerves and a shift could be seen in her demeanor as she remembered how supported she was in this endeavor.

andie placed her organized note-cards on the stand in front of her and began.

“hi. as you may already know, my name is andrea peterson, although you are more than welcome to call me andie.” she smiled politely and waited for applause that came and went as quickly as a summer breeze. “i am running to be your student body president.” she stayed conscious of making eye contact with as many audience members that she could. the more she could connect with her peers, the greater the chance she had of getting elected.

“poet henry david thoreau once wrote: ‘i cannot make my days longer, so i strive to make them better’. with this election, we here at hawkins also have an opportunity to make our high school days better. this is why a large portion of the platform i am running on is for school improvement. if elected, i can ensure that the cafeteria will be inspected biweekly to promise exemplary meals for all students, the water fountains across the campus will all be repaired to functioning capabilities and i will balance the school’s budget by eliminating administrative redundancies.”

andie reminded herself not to look at any of the faculty members in attendance when presenting that final line, instead, she glanced towards the back of the room where a few stragglers had decided to occupy.

if it hadn’t been for the incident in the parking lot, andie would not have known who the idlers near the basketball hoop were. but the distance she had between them then and now was all but the same. she could tell that steve harrington and his posse of “cool kids” were the ones standing a few yards ahead from her, except now, instead of them being the center of her attention, she was theirs; and andie was ready to do anything to maintain that power.

“during this campaign, i have had the opportunity to speak with many of you about your concerns. i spoke with freshman regina quinn, who told me how alienated she feels from her own homeroom. i spoke with sophomore sean douglas, who told me that he’s afraid to buy notebooks without consulting his friends because he might choose the ‘wrong’ one.”

andie knew that this was her chance to defend every student who had ever fallen prey to the alphas of the social food pyramid. unexpectedly, she turned her note-cards over, choosing to speak from the heart.

“this very afternoon, an assault occurred between jonathan byers and steve harrington in the student parking lot. mr. harrington took it upon himself to publicly humiliate his classmate, going so far as to destroy jonathan’s expensive and prized camera in order to further prove his fragile masculinity.”

her voice grew increasingly passionate as she continued forward with her argument.

“and what was there to be done? do you think that mr. harrington will suffer any sort of consequence for his actions? and do you think our esteemed faculty knows about this incident? victims of this kind of abuse rarely come forward in fear that they will not be heard. this allows perpetrators like mr. harrington continue to live their lives in bliss, continue carrying out their vicious attacks, never feeling the discomfort of any type of punishment. this type of activity has been taking place for years now and it’s time that it ends with me.”

she tilted her chin up slightly, staying ever so dignified. while her speech had swelled with emotion, there was no doubting that andie was still rational.

“i can say that my years of experience on the student council have taught me the three most important attributes the president needs to possess: commitment, qualifications, and experience. while i’m speaking with you all, i’ll add one more: caring. i care about hawkins and i care about each and every one of you and together we can all make a difference. as your president, i vow to establish a regular open forum where any student can come and voice their concern about issues we face here at hawkins. i, and the rest of the student council, would then interface with the faculty and staff, so a continuous dialogue would exist.”

time had seemed to escape from andie. she wasn’t sure how long she had been talking but she was afraid that if she kept the audience any longer they would lose interest, no matter how fervent she became.

“when you cast your vote for andrea peterson this afternoon, you won’t just be voting for me. you will be voting for regina, sean, jonathan and every other student here at hawkins high school. you’ll be voting for justice. you’ll be voting for yourself.”

she paused for a moment.

“our days won’t be any longer, but they’ll sure be better.”

andie clasped her hands in front of her and finally had a moment to survey her audience as a whole. she didn’t dare look to see if steve was still present; not yet, at least. throughout her speech, she had noticed the look of shock on many faces. at the time, she wasn’t sure if it was in relation to her words or something childish happening behind her but now she was positive that it was a response to her actions.

silence hung tensely in the air; only small noises like a cough or a screeching of a shoe on the lacquered floors echoed through the room. andie was sure her anxiety was palpable. fear began to shake her confidence as she considered if maybe she had gone too far with her words.

her heart began to beat in her chest again as a single clap erupted from the front row. andie turned her attention to the person responsible and presented an exasperated grin when she realized it was maeve who started to applaud, her petite facial features riddled with awe.

she watched as one by one, students joined in with maeve. the ovation grew in decibels until a sizeable wave of cheers thundered through the gymnasium.

andie was overwhelmed. she had imagined that her presentation would go well but she didn’t think that her own, personal feelings had the ability drive her to this success. she thought that preparation was her biggest advantage in this debate, not strong emotion.

although many of those in the audience didn’t seem to agree with her statements, whether out of fear of becoming a victim themselves or because they, themselves, were bullies, the number of those who sounded off for her ideas greatly outweighed the number of those who didn’t.

without another word, an exuberant andie turned on her heel to return to her seat, making way for a gob smacked morgan to present her own thoughts. she actually felt bad for her vice president; no matter how appealing she was, there was no way she was to top what had already been said.

halfway through the event, andie took it upon herself to finally seek out steve. part of her was eager to see the look of defeat on his face, the other part of her was scared.

andrea peterson, “little miss perfect”, had taken it upon herself to not only publicly address but confront one of the most influential teenagers in all of roane county, indiana. steve had shattered many lives in this town and andie couldn’t help but be nervous as towards what he could do to hers.

craving peace from her own inner monologue, andie forced her line of vision to the back of the gymnasium again, scanning the scene intently for a overly hairspray-ed, chestnut colored bob.

relief washed over her senses when she only noticed three figures standing as opposed to the initial four.

steve had left.

had he heard his name and fled, like a coward? did he even hear his name at all? it was presumptuous for andie to believe that steve stayed longer than the five seconds that she had noticed him.

she pushed the idea of steve and his friends out of her mind until the debate came to a close, centering her concern on whether or not she and morgan had sold their stance to the student body. she watched as principal wexler bid the crowd adieu and thanked them for showing their support. the older woman encouraged the young scholars to cast their votes upon leaving and to reflect on whether or not their ballot represented the type of change they hoped to see at this school.

andie wished that maeve hadn’t had to leave for work after andie had presented. they definitely would have a lot to talk about.

after each audience member had left, principal wexler wished the candidates good luck and allowed them to dismiss themselves. as andie stood to depart, she felt morgan’s clammy hand clasp her shoulder.

“ann,” her voice was gentle yet perplexed. “do you want to talk about—about what you talked about in your speech?” morgan began to stutter, attempting to guise her confusion with a pleasant tone. andie had never seen morgan so puzzled. “i—i mean, you sounded great but, last i checked, that wasn’t in the script.”

“it’s just how i felt.” andie knew she was being blunt to someone who didn’t deserve it but there were really no other words to describe the situation. “there’s nothing else to it.”

“okay… well, i—i have to head out. cheer practice before the game tonight. but i’ll see you there?”

“definitely. we should know if we won by then.”

morgan chuckled apprehensively in response. prior to her exit, she took a second to pull andie into an unexpected hug, her hand patting gently on the neurotic teen’s back. “whatever happens, i’m really proud of us. i wouldn’t have wanted to be a vice president for anyone else.”

they separated from each other, each stuck with a compassionate smile.

andie collected her own belongings as she heard morgan’s sneakers tap across the floor. when the door closed behind her, andie tilted her head back and blew out a deep breath.

this was the first time she had been alone since her outburst. she could still hear her expressive and heartfelt appeal ricocheting off the bleachers; and while she would continue to feel unsettled until the results were announced tonight, at least she could exhale.

andie did all that she could do. she had said all that she could say. now, she just had to wait.

saying a final farewell to the cherished moment she had with herself, andie chose to disappear out of the gym and into the heart of hawkins high school. she had plans to get home and change before the football game was to start tonight and her time was starting to run short.

upon turning the corner into the hall, andie heard a voice calling after her. surprised that she wasn’t the sole figure left from the assembly, she nearly dropped the papers that were cluttering space in her hands.

“andie!”

there was a beat.

“andrea!”

andie turned to challenge whomever owned the booming voice, upset with their brashness. when she noticed who it was, her words caught in her throat.

oh, god.

steve.

how did she think she could be so lucky as to escape the day without at least a minor confrontation. even if he hadn’t stayed for the total duration of her speech, she had to be stupid to think that word wouldn’t have gotten back to him. hawkins was a small town which made hawkins high school even smaller.

“what the hell was that?!”

steve approached andie and she was immediately blinded by his air of resentment.

his eyes spoke nothing but fury and his jaw was clenched tight. if he wasn’t careful, andie was sure his head would explode. an angry scarlet blush had stained his face as he was certainly driven by pure adrenaline. andie had never seen anyone so enraged in her entire life.

“what are you still doing here?”

she maintained a condescending tone towards the boy, no matter how perturbed he displayed himself as being. no one, especially not the king of egotism, was going to get away with being so demanding.

“that doesn’t answer my question. what the hell were you thinking?!”

“i was thinking about standing up for—“

“no, that’s the thing, you weren’t thinking. you see yourself as this untouchable genius but half the time you don’t even use your brain. do you know what this could do to me, andie? this could ruin my life.”

“and you don’t think that you’ve ruined plenty?!”

andie was shocked at how bold she had become; then again, this conflict had been steadily brewing since grade school. steve and andie never liked each other but they stayed complacent in their quiet hostility. it wasn’t shocking that now that they had a moment to hang their hatred out to dry, their words pierced each other with intensity.

“like, like—what was that—that crap with you and jonathan today? in the parking lot? did he even—“

steve shook his head in disbelief. it was almost as if he couldn’t believe that andie had the audacity to speak on a subject that she knew so little about. it was almost like he knew that she was smarter than that.

“oh, andie! andie, that’s the issue! you have no idea what you’re—“

“his brother might be dead, steve!”

andie’s own words felt like a severe blow to the chest. she gasped, unable to continue.

this entire day had been so hectic that she barely had the time to worry about the whereabouts of her favorite babysitting client and, by now, it had been almost two days since he vanished.

two days.

the odds weren’t in anyone’s favor but andie felt guilty for even assuming that something awful had happened to will; like the fact that she had lost hope somehow sealed the young boy’s tragic fate.  

“will could be dead.” andie repeated while steve shook his head, obviously fed up with the blonde’s dramatics. further, his reaction only continued to fuel andie’s rage. “and you’re out here kicking jonathan around like some dog! as if he already doesn’t have enough to deal with! don’t you dare, for a second, try to justify your cruelty!”

her voice began to ache due to the relentless vibrations of her larynx. every statement seemed to rip itself harder and harder from her throat.

“you know what? i might as well be dead. i mean, i’ll be lucky if they don’t expel me by first period tomorrow!”

andie scoffed and her arms flew up to cross themselves over her chest. she couldn’t believe steve’s blatant disregard for anybody but himself. she knew he was selfish but this was a new low.

“are you serious? you can’t be serious.”

“do i look like i’m joking?” steve looked over his shoulder before he lowered his pitch. this was all a way in which he was able to assume a more derisive attitude.

“i really can’t wait for the day that you get your head out of the clouds and realize that you’re a grade-a hypocrite.”

andie opened her mouth to speak but was unsure how to even respond at this point. there were too many issues for her to address. she considered making a crisp, bullet-pointed outline disproving all the arguments that steve had made and gifting it for him to study.

“you went up there, preaching about how we all need to take responsibility for our actions when you haven’t held yourself accountable a single day in your life. after school, you had every chance to stop me when you wanted to and you stood there and watched me fight jonathan like a deer in the headlights. and—that whole bullshit about being a ‘caring president’? since when have you cared about anyone if they didn’t offer something to you in return?”

steve stopped for a moment, allowing andie to maintain a strong grasp everything that he had to say.

“you think you’re smart and, on paper, you are. but when it comes to life, you’re stupid.”

andie dug her top teeth into her bottom lip hard and turned her face away from steve’s. she could feel the tears stinging her eyes and didn’t want him to see how deeply the word “stupid” impacted her. maybe what he said was what andie always knew to be right, maybe he had struck her right where it hurt, but he didn’t deserve to feel any sort of satisfaction. he didn’t deserve to know that he had the ability break down her well-built composure.

“screw you.”

andie spat, the phrase full of venom.

“yeah, screw you too.”

with that, andie held her school bag close to her body and briskly walked in the opposite direction. her frigid fingers batted at her eyes as she tried to hide the insecurities that had begun to spring from her face. she just had to make it to her car; then she could let it all out. she pushed past a few students who had been lounging around against the brick exterior of the educational institution, smoking cigarettes and gossiping about useless, petty issues until their rides arrived. andie ignored all their faces successfully until she nearly crashed into a small figure standing at a pay-phone.

“oh, andie.”

of course it was nancy wheeler, the last person andie had wanted to see after her serendipitous chat with steve.

“i’m so sorry—i feel really bad that i missed your speech today but there’s been a lot going on and i—i was gonna tell you the next time you came over to watch mike but i just wanted to let you know that i cast my vote for you.” she punctuated her statement with a broken smile. her mind was very clearly elsewhere.

“don’t tell that to your boyfriend.” andie sniffled, her face positioned to look back towards the cement beneath them and not towards the girl to which she was talking to. she then swallowed remaining lump of tears.

“wait, steve? he’s not my boyfriend.” nancy blushed, visibly bashful at the proposition of dating the most popular boy on campus.

“good.”

“why?” there was a genuine sense of curiosity.

“he’s an ass. and you know it. at least, you knew it back before you started hanging out with tommy h and carol.”

“they aren’t my friends.” nancy was firm in her conviction, confused at how she somehow got herself involved in this conversation.

”i saw you today in the parking lot and that was enough. i just— if you know what’s right for you you’d leave steve be. he’s only going to cause you trouble.”

andie left nancy to review the information she had just provided her with, not wanting to hear another word. she darted for her car as she felt her eyes grow heavy with tears for the second time this afternoon.

andie was right. steve harrington had only ever been around to cause trouble. but the difference between then and now was that now, more than ever, andie knew that she had given him a reason to.

•••

style inspiration: IN PROGRESS!

song inspiration: https://bit.ly/2ITgKr5

[dandyandiepeterson]

– THIS BOY’S TOO YOUNG TO BE SINGING THE BLUES

( goodbye yellow brick road, elton john )

•••

iv. attending the candlelight assembly for will byers

•••

it had been less than twenty-four hours since andie received the news of will byers’ disappearance and yet andie felt as if she had been holding her breath for years. joyce byers’ terrified voice continued to ring deafeningly in her ears.

will’s missing.

missing.

the words repeated in her head like a broken walkman.

missing, missing, missing.

missing didn’t mean that he had to be in any trouble. it meant that he wasn’t around. andie understood how someone might want to disappear from hawkins— even if they were only twelve years old.

the only way she could find peace was in deconstructing the rhetoric that she had been given. like everything that had ever been presented to her since the dawn of time, andie just had to make sense of what she was experiencing.

by the time the moon shone over the modest, indiana town, will was the only thing anyone was talking about. each home seemed to be filled with a somber tone that was only associated with the loss of a child. while will byers hadn’t been pronounced dead, hawkins seemed to be preparing for the worst.

andie knew that there was work to be done. statistically, the more people involved in a cause, the more successful it becomes. you didn’t have to be a high school valedictorian to understand that.

so, andie thought to herself, if we can rally together a substantial team to look for will, we’ll have the best shot at finding him.

the young girl took it upon herself to stay up, manically making posters with the adolescent’s height, weight and personality distinctions neatly recorded. she waited until her hands were covered in black and blue ink, wounded from countless paper cuts, to finally throw in the towel and attempt to rest. she knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep but at least she would try.

she had to have only been in bed for a few, mere seconds before her alarm clock began to demand that she start her day.

rushing out the door, per usual, andie’s mother, carolyn, refused to hold her back; only insisting that the visibly damaged teen give her a hug. she knew she would be torturing her daughter by keeping her locked in the house. the less access andie had to the media that was profiting off of this small-town tragedy, the better. all carolyn could hope for was that andie could keep busy enough to push the anxiety from her mind.

and busy did andie keep.

running her plan by joyce first and then the front office at the school, andie proposed the idea of holding an assembly, tonight, on the hawkins high football field. she knew there had been search parties but this event would not only raise awareness but promote community within a town that had been diagnosed with heartache. when she was given the green light to proceed, andie could feel her pulse return to a typical speed. she felt pleased to know that she was advocating for progress in this case. she could finally let free of the breath that had been trapped inside her; knowing she was doing all that she could to help this family, this boy, that was experiencing one of life’s greatest horrors.

when night began to fall yet again, andie found herself tensely standing on the sidelines of the football field as she admired the decorated location. her feet were uncomfortable as they pressed against the blatantly artificial astroturf.  a sizeable crowd had made it and the event had begun without a hitch. to think that so many people had shown up to give their condolences on such short notice was exceptional.

and she had done this. she had provided this outlet.

andie crossed her arms tight across her chest, not only to shield herself from the harsh gusts of air that blew into her but to place a barrier against the world and her emotions. immediately, her guard began to crumble as her eyes made contact with a familiar, comforting face.

maeve.

rushing to the brunette’s side, andie pressed her hand against a cloaked shoulder. lowering her voice to a whisper, her cadence matched the others in attendance. the girls had talked earlier in the night but andie felt compelled to be by her side again.

“i know it’s been a whirlwind but i just wanted to reiterate how thankful i am for everything you’ve done today. between helping me hand out flyers on campus to setting up with the boys earlier, i really don’t think i would’ve been able to pull this off without your help.” andie gave a helpless, wistful chuckle. “i’m sure this isn’t how you wanted to spend your free time, especially during your first month here.”

maeve returned andie’s sentiment with a pleasant smile, squeezing lightly on the hand within her own before releasing it gently and pulling her knitted hand-warmers further over her wrist.

“why are you thanking me? everyone should be thanking you. i don’t know of anyone else who would go out of their way to plan this sort of thing so last minute and, not only that, but have it run so seamlessly.”

“to be fair, you don’t know many people in this town yet, maeve.”

a spark of joy seemed to light up the depressed setting, the two girls sharing a quick laugh.

“regardless, you’re a powerhouse. if i didn’t know it yesterday, i know it now.”

andie checked over her shoulder to see if anyone else had heard what maeve had said to her, almost hoping that she would catch someone who was eavesdropping. too much of andie’s time was spent feeling as if her actions weren’t appreciated. she consistently felt like she was screaming into a void and she’d have to fall into the pit before someone was to understand the effort she had made. while andie didn’t set up this assembly for her own glory, having validation that she was on the right path, especially during this traumatic time, was something that andie would willingly accept.

andie spoke, a gentle half-smile still present on her face. “i’m gonna go check in on a few things, make sure that everything’s good to go for the rest of the night. feel free to make yourself as comfortable as you can… despite the circumstances, of course.”

maeve nodded in response, almost thankful that she hadn’t been forgotten in the midst of all of this controlled chaos.

“you know, you should try to get comfortable when you get the chance. you’ve already done so much.”

andie frowned slightly and she pressed her palms together into a prayer gesture, mouthing “thank you” as the space between the two of them grew larger and larger. maeve’s kindness had comforted her in a way she was unaware that she even needed.

andie’s eyes immediately began scanning the crowd for another familiar face. she knew it was irrational but she had hoped to converse with each and every guest who had decided to come out tonight. it was the least she could do to show her appreciation.

she took notice of the amount of teachers, parents, police and blue and white collared workers who had been able to attend, admiring that they were able to put their busy lives on hold to support their neighbors. andie hadn’t even thought of her own schedule in what was probably the longest, recorded time. she now had other matters to worry about; problems that made securing the role of class president and pleasing the student body seem trivial.

it was as if she had pleased the student body, though. objectively, andie calculated that almost seventy-five percent of her classmates were in attendance. in fact, it was easier for her to list who wasn’t in attendance.

there hadn’t been any rowdy disturbances which meant steve harrington and his good friends, tommy and carol, had decided to sit this one out. but, more surprisingly, andie had realized that nancy wheeler hadn’t come either. she knew that nancy had become entangled with steve and his popular clique within the past few weeks but she didn’t know that the dull-witted teenage boy would take precedence over her little brother’s best friend.

andie couldn’t help but think of nancy’s actions as careless, despite how much she wanted to see the best in her long-time friend.

andie continued to mingle with attendees throughout the evening, extending her gratitude every chance she got. when she reached the compact circle that enclosed the mother and son that this event was dedicated to, andie felt slightly faint.

andie knew how to talk. it was one of her most distinctive qualities. in grade school, the only complaints that her instructors had for her parents was that she talked too much. generally, andie��s social skills helped to foster her growth but it was also the only quality that she knew of that could get her into trouble.

she feared of saying the wrong thing to this fragile family.

as she approached the individuals, andie was sure that the other attendees could hear her heart breaking. she hadn’t seen the duo since the will’s disappearance. joyce’s dark eyes had become sunken in, the bags beneath them prominent against her pale, sickly complexion. she stood awkwardly, obviously mentally and physically exhausted, and she seemed as if she would collapse from stress at any second.

jonathan, on the other hand, looked outwardly composed. other than the puffiness and general redness of his face that was a result from crying, he looked as normal as he could in his mustard sweatshirt and worn blue jeans.

upon seeing the pair, the severity of this situation had become more real.

“oh, andrea.” joyce spread her arms as soon as she noticed the young girl standing before her. andie fell into them voluntarily, hugging the woman tightly.

it was as if everyone else in the crowd had disappeared and only andie remained.

“i’m so sorry.” andie whispered, tears rimming her eyes as she rubbed her hands soothingly against the woman’s bony frame.

those were the only words she felt were appropriate for this situation.

“shh, don’t say that. you don’t have to say that.” joyce continued to hold onto andie and andie complied. to be fair, andie feared of how hysterical she would become upon having to look the mother in the eyes. her pain was excruciatingly visceral.

“thank you for doing this for us.” she finally let andie go, keeping her at arm’s length. andie chose to look at her feet for a moment, then at jonathan and then back to joyce who continued speaking. “we—we are so grateful that so many people loved… love our will.”

“he’s a good kid. smart. there’s a lot to love.”

“yes and i know he’s out there. i just— i feel it.” joyce placed her open palm firmly against her chest, balling up her other into a passionate fist. her lips trembled as if each word she spoke was somehow an act of exertion. “i feel it here, you know? i… he has to be. i know he’s okay.”

andie knew the stages of grief and she briefly went over them in her head. she knew that joyce’s denial was natural seeing as the tragedy occurred a few days ago but she feared the long road that was ahead for the single-parent.

“i know it too.” andie replied, half-lying to herself in the process.

so much of andie wanted will to be okay.

andie was reminded of the other individual standing before her after he placed his hand on his mother’s shoulder. the girl quickly shifted her attention to jonathan as joyce began to speak with another attendee who hoped, just as andie, that their words would have a calming effect.

“hey, how are you doing?”

the teens had known each other their entire lives; andie had looked over jonathan’s younger brother for years while he was out working overtime to help his mom with the bills, and yet she could count on her fingers how many substantial conversations they had had.

“fine.”

andie remembered why they talked so infrequently.

“i know how hard this must be on you. as you can see it’s pretty hard for everyone.” her gaze turned to the other visitors, the glow of the candles against the crowd making for a deep sea of shadows that one could easily get lost in. “so, if you or your mom ever need anything like some groceries or even someone to talk to—“

“i don’t.”

andie instantly felt her cheeks flush at how abrupt jonathan had become with her. maybe he had already drifted into the anger stage of grieving.

“okay…” her voice sounded very small. “well, if you do, you can always give me a call.”

there was no harm in being nice, especially to someone who needed it.

andie stalled for a second to see if she would be lucky enough to get a response out of jonathan. instead, all she received was a single nod of the head.

“i’m, uh, gonna go. i think a few churches are gonna start with the presentations soon and i was gonna grab a coffee or something. so…” she began to back away slowly, upset that their dialogue was left so open-ended. as she carefully removed herself from the claustrophobic group, she swore she could hear a hushed “thanks” before it got lost in the wind.

andie retreated back to the bleachers after grabbing a hot cup of coffee. she knew the warm drink would not only keep her energy high but settle her nerves. while caffeine was known to make people jittery and apprehensive, it actually helped to keep andie level-headed. plus, the familiar taste brought her back to the reality that existed before little kids started to go missing.

finding a break necessary, andie chose to sit in the very back of the audience. she hoped that she could also use this time to actually listen to the religious leaders who had been so kind to offer their words of encouragement. although andie wasn’t religious by any means, she wanted to show her respect.

as she began to climb to the top of the metal fixture, she slowly started to make out another figure who had obviously had the same idea as her. when she recognized who the person was, she could feel her eyes expand to the size of saucers.

“kyle?”

the word fell effortlessly from andie’s lips, a stunned expression taking over her face.

her ultimate crush, the only boy at hawkins high with common sense, the kyle walcott, had made it to an event that she planned with only hours notice?!

she felt at ease when the boy didn’t turn to face her immediately, thankful to have a few seconds to tighten her ponytail and swivel her tongue around in her mouth to ensure there was nothing stuck in her teeth.

she tentatively approached kyle almost as if she were afraid that being too close to him could cause some sort of natural disaster.

“is this seat taken?”

andie was already embarrassed with how meek she sounded.

“only if you don’t mind.” he fumbled with a box of malboro’s that were in his lap. “smoking section.”

“you know those are awful for you.” andie sat on the cool bench, keeping an uncomfortable amount of distance between the two of them.

“yeah? so is high school.”

andie turned bright red as she directed her attention back towards the field. for years she had dreamed about spending time alone with kyle, getting to know and love his quirks, and now she finally had the opportunity… at a pseudo-vigil for one of her babysitting clients.

“h-how are you doing?” andie couldn’t believe it. she could talk to everyone for hours but she had two seconds with kyle walcott and she was already a stuttering mess. “i mean, i feel like i’ve gotten everyone’s opinion on this situation but yours.”

“it’s probably not different from anything you’ve already heard. it’s sad. i mean, the world’s a pretty sad place right now.”

“yeah…”

andie watched kyle out of the corner of her eye. he took a long drag from the off-white stick that was nestled comfortably between his index and middle fingers. after savoring the smoke, he tilted his head towards the stars and blew a cloud into the frigid air.

“do you ever wish you could just escape to another planet? just pack up all your shit and move to mars?”

andie couldn’t help but smile at the strange proposition. “i guess.” she crossed her legs, “maybe i’d move to venus. there was some research done that shows that there’s an area of clouds above the planet that has the same atmospheric pressure and temperature as earth. the atmosphere is made out of carbon dioxide which is pretty toxic but i think, overall, it’s a trade-off i’d be willing to make.”

she had hoped that her reply was adequate, silently damning herself not only for how much she talked but how ambitious she must have sounded. why did he have to know all of that? there was no reason for her to share that much information about venus, of all things. how was it that she could she never find that perfect medium of calm and collected?

“that’s pretty tight.”

andie drummed on her thighs excitedly, beyond relieved that her energetic reply hadn’t scared him away. she hadn’t ruined her chances with the boy— yet.

kyle and andie sat in contented silence while the presentations commenced. they watched attentively as words of wisdom, scripture and prayer were offered to the community— or, at least, kyle did.

andie was too focused on making sure that kyle couldn’t hear heart slamming roughly against her rib cage.

when the formal display finished, kyle abruptly stood to excuse himself. his silence was deadly as he shimmed past the anxious blonde at the end of the row.

andie wondered if she should speak. she had already said so much this evening, she would hate to make things more awkward.

plus, they weren’t friends. it wasn’t like she owed him anything. despite the fact that andie wished they were more than just lab partners, they weren’t.

but maybe if she said something, things would change? hawkins had already changed so much in such a short frame of time.

when andie reached the bottom of the bleachers, surprise overwhelmed her as she noticed the thin boy lingering. for a second, she wondered if he had something to say? he pulled his jean jacket tighter around his torso, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“hey, uh—“

“yeah?”

“excuse me,” he quickly brushed past the lovesick blonde.

oh, andie quipped to herself. i was just in his way.

andie wasn’t sure what compelled her in this moment, whether it be the the emotional conditions, her own pride or the way his hand briefly swept against hers as he passed, but she called out for him again. “hey, kyle?”

this was the closest they had ever gotten to being friends and andie couldn’t stand to lose this chance again.

kyle whipped around quickly, his green eyes piercing. he raised an eyebrow inquisitively as if to give andie permission to ask a question.

“i just wanted to say thank you.” she approached him, her pulse growing faster with each step she took. there were only a few stragglers still on the field, otherwise, the pair was alone.

kyle cocked his head to the right, confusion sweeping over his prominent features. he ran a hand through his onyx waves as he anticipated for andie to continue. alternatively, andie couldn’t help but notice how attractive he looked under the blinding floodlights.

“you know, for showing up tonight. i only really planned this this morning so i know everyone probably had a hard time fitting it into their already crazy schedules but—it’s really nice how you decided to come out and support the byers tonight.” andie sighed, feeling her face grow hot. “i’m sure they appreciated you being here.”

“oh,” kyle seemed shocked that that was all the chatty blonde had to say. he looked as if he were expecting to be exposed for committing a crime. “well, yeah. i’ve seen jonathan’s brother around on his bike a lot. he and his friends like to pedal around my house or something, i don’t know. it sorta felt personal. i couldn’t imagine how i’d feel if nat went missing.”

natalie was kyle’s seven year old sister. she was one of the only kids in town that andie had never had to look after. kyle had been extremely protective of her since the day she was born and it didn’t look like that was changing any time soon.

“it was cool that you put all of this on.”

andie stood amazed by the sentiment. had kyle walcott just insinuated that she was cool?

“it was nothing.” andie spoke as if she hadn’t been awake for the past thirty six hours, viciously planning this event so that it would be the best that it could be. the less neurotic kyle thought she was, the better.

“i look after will a lot. joyce likes to hire me to babysit when jonathan’s at work. we’ve kinda become friends, weirdly enough. me and will, not me and jonathan… which i guess is even weirder now that i’m saying it out loud.”

kyle expressed his amusement with a quiet chuckle, shaking his head so that his hair bounced above his eyes. andie couldn’t help but join in with an anxious giggle. they stood staring at each other, mirroring the genuine smile that had appeared on the other’s face. as the pause grew longer, the air stood tense and motionless with anticipation.

andie so desperately hoped that this pleasant interaction wasn’t just a wild fever dream that had been induced by her lack of sleep.

“see you tomorrow?” she asked, a hint of optimism in her voice.

she was hopeful for a positive response and nothing more. in fact, she didn’t expect anything from kyle; not now and not ever. she barely expected him to say that she could sit with him tonight.

with sudden urgency, kyle closed any space that was left between he and andie, grabbing her face gently to press his lips deeply against hers. what had come over him was clearly too overwhelming to keep inside any longer.

andie squeaked as her knees nearly gave out beneath her. she was overwhelmed; stimulated to the point of paralysis.

was she dreaming? was this real? was kyle walcott, the kyle walcott, actually kissing her?!

would she really get to claim kyle walcott as her first kiss?

she attempted to silence the alarms that had begun to blare in her head, her body beginning to feel woozy with awe.

she felt her senses become overloaded. his lips were sweet with a indistinguishable flavor that was reminiscent of peppermint; his skin cool, a perfect opposition to the scarlet that had begun to prickle itself down her neck.

andie let her hand move to kyle’s cheek, attempting to find something tangible to hold onto in this dream-like sequence. he matched her movements by tenderly caressing her neck. she had been wanting this for what felt like years, centuries even. if only she could tell her past, naïve self that this irrational crush that she had wasn’t so irrational. andie let her lips part slightly as he captured her bottom lip between his own, just as lost in the moment as she was.

time began to move again as kyle gradually drifted away, his hands situating back on her waist. andie’s eyes remained closed, afraid that she’d open them to find that this was only an illusion. languidly, she let her eyelids flutter open, all the air escaping from her lungs when she found that this was not a fantasy.

“i…” she began, her mouth agape.

she was utterly and irrevocably speechless.

kyle smirked, picking the empty coffee cup that andie had let go of at the start of their passionate encounter. he handed it back to the stunned girl, turned on his heel and promptly disappeared into the night without another word.

on the now empty sporting lawn, andie ran her hand over her face, attempting to wipe the disbelief from her brow. her fingers traced down to her mouth, pressingly lightly on the skin that had just been ambushed.

what had just happened? how did it happen? why did it happen?!

all these thoughts continued to race through andie’s cluttered mind as she attempted to associate logic with her desire. unfortunately, for andie, she had yet to comprehend that not all subjects could be understood in a single night.

especially not this one.

•••

style inspiration: IN PROGRESS!

song inspiration: https://bit.ly/2lVY7sM

#ystlc #your stranger things life challenge

[dandyandiepeterson]

– WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE NOW THAT ALL OTHER CHILDREN ARE GROWIN’ UP AND HOW DO WE SPEND OUR LIVES IF THERE’S NO ONE TO LEND US A HAND?

( games people play, the alan parsons project )

•••

iii. reaction to the disappearance of will byers

•••

andie awoke the morning of november seventh practicing the same routine that had become so familiar to her: get out of bed to whatever peppy song was playing on the radio, check daily calendar, brush hair, brush teeth, pull on a sensible sweater, double-check daily calendar, run downstairs, eat whatever breakfast was laid out for her by her mother, leave just in time to miss her father’s morning weather report and arrive at hawkins high school at precisely eight-fifteen, give or take a few seconds. it was almost scary how easily her schedule had become to predict; she was sure that even her father could get her daily forecast correct.

the only thing that would be different about today were the circumstances of her morning. everything else was to remain typical: she was to excel in her classes, attend debate team practice and pick up the children she was to babysit from their extracurricular activities. instead of planning campaign slogans until first period with morgan, though, she’d be serving as a peer counselor to a new student at hawkins.

it was rare that the rural, indiana town gained a new citizen, nevertheless, one that was younger than fifty years old. this fact alone is what made it so difficult for andie to establish her role as “peer counselor” in the first place. while the young girl had multiple leadership titles under her belt she knew that founding her own program at hawkins would set her apart from the rest of the scholarly snobs who would also be applying to columbia. so, she persisted, in turn befriending the entire secretarial staff with how often she scheduled to meet with the executives at hawkins high school. she didn’t give up until they gave into her requests.

one thing was for certain about andrea peterson: she didn’t stop until she got what she wanted.

the chipper blonde walked in through the broad doors of hawkins high’s main entrance, particularly enjoying the way that her long strides were making her ponytail swing behind her. to say she was in a good mood this monday would have been an understatement. andie had the ability to change someone’s day, maybe even their whole high school career, for the better and, in the process, get another vote for student body president. that was more than enough to keep her energetic.

“good morning, doris!” andie spoke so sweetly, it was as if someone were to get cavities just listening to her. “i love your scarf today, the orange is so pretty!” she collected the stack of papers that had been laid out for her to distribute during the tour. although she had previously reviewed numerous copies of the files, being careful not to smudge the ink writing or crumple the paper, she insisted the office personnel make a new pile of copies so that she could present herself to her “mentee” in the utmost form of professionalism.

“well, thank you, andrea, your mentee is right there.” andie gave the older, black woman a polite nod and a quick “thank you!” before turning to face the small figure sitting on the couch behind her. she couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed. she had walked right past the young girl, not even noticing her presence.

“hi! andie peterson, you’re maeve standish?” she barely stopped to let the other girl introduce herself. andie attempted to pretend as if she knew nothing of the timid brunette before her, although, the new girl’s records allowed for little personal privacy.

from what the files stated, maeve eileen standish was sixteen, born on december thirty-first. she was five feet and four inches in height and had brown eyes. she lived with her parents, robert and mary, and a younger brother, samuel in loch nora, the same development as andie. she previously attended school in new york and maintained an exceptional gpa, which andie could appreciate. she had no documented allergies, accommodation requests or discipline reports. although the information was basic, andie felt as if she already knew everything about maeve. “it’s so great to meet you! i know you’ve been here for a few weeks but welcome to hawkins!”

“yes, hi. thank you.” maeve gave andie a meek smile, staying cordial but exceptionally shy. andie expected as much from a new student and didn’t find it to be a detriment more than something that she could reflect off of. maeve’s cool demeanor allowed andie to talk more than she anticipated, providing the girl with as much information about the campus as she possibly could.

andie maintained her status as maeve’s guide for nearly an hour, using the time they had together to not only solidify that what she was presenting was beneficial but also to establish a relationship.

starting at a new school in the middle of the academic year was hard, especially as a teenager. everyone had already established cliques, reputations, friends; it was hard to find an in. thankfully, maeve didn’t seem like one to cause any sort of trouble which meant that she would have no problem finding her place in the town. she was gorgeous with coffee eyes, caramel-colored hair that cascaded past her narrow shoulders and a petite build. while it was nineteen-eighty-three, andie was sure that maeve’s sleek vibe would aid in her success in this frivolous town. she was an average, likable teenage girl, something andie often wished she could be instead of an amalgamation of anxious energy.

the two girls parted ways a few minutes before they were expected to show up to class but gleefully agreed to meet up again at lunch time.

when twelve-fifteen arrived, andie found herself sitting on a bench outside of mrs. reilly’s class, tapping her foot as she watched her peers file out of the dimly-lit classroom. she hoped that she hadn’t been overly ambitious by inviting maeve to meet with her at lunch. she just enjoyed their time together. there was something about maeve that was not only compelling but soothing. it was as if maeve’s spirit helped to mellow andie out.

“andrea! hi!” andie allowed the corners of her mouth to turn upwards, watching as the tiny brunette filed her notebook into her backpack. she appreciated maeve’s sentiment of formality by using her full name. “twelve-fifteen on the dot.” andie replied, grabbing her own belongings and standing up from her place. “and please, call me andie. andrea’s too professional and we’re off the record right now.”

maeve laughed melodically, playing with a loose thread at the bottom of her orange, black and teal striped jumper. “so, where do you usually eat during lunch?”

“it depends. sometimes in the front office, other times with the debate team, i’ve even sat with the cheerleading squad before. my good friend and running mate for this year’s student council election, morgan lawson, is the captain so she’s sort of obliged to sit with those girls. i’m running for president, by the way. anyway, it’s a good thing they’re all incredibly sweet.” andie separated her topics with a chuckle, waving to one of her classmates who was playing with a rubix cube by a row of lockers.  “did you pack a lunch or were you planning on buying something from the cafeteria? because, quick tip of advice, meatloaf mondays might sound appealing but i’ve found more nutritious-looking food out in the dumpster behind the math building.”

maeve scrunched her nose at the comment. “i brought my own. thankfully, my—parents did some grocery shopping this weekend.”  

it seemed as if the word ‘parents’ had gotten stuck in maeve’s throat. despite being curious, andie decided against commenting on the subject. she was sure a time would come where maeve would share things that andie couldn’t find in her student file, she just had to get comfortable first.

“that is pretty lucky!” andie navigated her ways effortlessly through the halls until they arrived at the entrance of the school. “how do you feel about sitting outside to eat? it’s really nice out, especially for early november! not too hot, not too cold. i think the high today was supposed to be seventy-one. plus, there’s only like a twelve percent chance of rain this afternoon so i doubt we’ll have to duck for cover or anything.” she pushed the glass doors, holding them open behind her for her friend. “and even if we do have to run, ms. green will let us finish eating and dry off in her office. she owes me.”

“how do you know all of this?” maeve shook her head with an amused smile, the shorter strands of hair by her face falling in front of her eyes.

“my dad’s the local weatherman: charles peterson of channel five news. you can catch his segment every morning, afternoon and evening at eight-fifteen, eleven, two and five-fifteen. they have him on a pretty tight schedule, just like me.”

“i meant about everything about hawkins but that’s also good to know.” she sat down at a picnic table, carefully watching andie’s face as if to make sure she didn’t offend her in any way. thankfully, andie was just flattered that someone complimented her intelligence.

“oh, i mean, when you grow up here around the same people, places and things it’s kind of ingrained in you. it’s harder to forget about it.”

andie watched as maeve’s attention shifted towards a figure of someone rushing into the school building, nearly knocking several students down with their large, messenger bag without stopping to apologize. although the person was far away, andie could tell who it was.

“for example, i know that that’s jonathan byers. he tends to be late to class but i don’t think it’s legitimate truancy. i think that’s just because he has a crappy car. it’s not like he’s intentionally skipping. i don’t think he can afford a new ride at this time, especially because he just splurged on a new camera, but that would probably solve most of his problems. i’m trying to recruit him for the yearbook committee but i don’t think that’s his style. he’s more... abstract than traditional. and, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that! we just need all the help we can get so it’s frustrating to hear him turn us down time and time again.” andie didn’t even notice how out of breath she had become, stopping to take a sip from her water bottle before she continued. “he’s just quiet. i think he likes to be left alone.”

“noted.” maeve watched as he disappeared inside the building, taking a bite of her sandwich. “if you guys need a photographer, i’m sure i could find a camera laying around my house. i’ve noticed that my family likes to tinker with things.” she blotted a paper napkin to her mouth to get rid of any crumbs that had been left behind by her meal. andie noticed that she was careful as if not to smudge the wine color on her lips. “i hope it wouldn’t be a problem if my work is a little… vintage. i haven’t really used a camera in a while but i suppose nothing’s changed.”

andie’s eyes lit up. she wanted to thank the gods for bringing maeve into her life. “vintage is wonderful! that’s totally the style these days! you see how popular elvis is getting again.” andie couldn’t help but be pleased with herself when she heard maeve laugh.

“cool! if you want to hang out after school, you can tell me a little bit more about the job description? i just want to make sure that i know what i’m getting myself in to.”

andie’s face fell. shit. how was she going to tell maeve, who had been nothing but accommodating, that she had plans this evening? the last thing andie wanted was for maeve to think that she was somehow blowing her off or using her for her own benefit.

“totally! totally. unfortunately, i can’t today. i have to babysit. it’s kind of my part-time thing. but we definitely should hang out!” andie began scribbling on a napkin that had gone unused throughout the lunch period.

“here: this is my phone number. i know you can probably look me up in the yellow pages but i’ll save you the trouble. we should plan something soon! not only so you can get started but so we can learn more about each other.” she spoke promptly and energetically, obviously excited at the proposition of having a new person to call a confidant.

“i’d like that.” maeve responded, mutually pleased with the relationship that had begun to blossom.

the girls continued to discuss other offerings in hawkins, plans that they had for the rest of the week and, most importantly, when they would be free to see each other again until the dull ringing of the school bell echoed through the yard. andie couldn’t help but throw her arms around maeve before they parted, glad that fate had somehow landed them together.

andie truly and honestly liked maeve. for the first time in what felt like forever, she felt like she had gotten to know someone because she wanted to, not just because she needed their vote.

when the school day had come to an end, andie snuck into the front office for a final time to make a daily round of phone calls. she very easily could have rushed home to perform her duties but why would she stress herself out even further when the women who worked at the school would easily aid her in whatever quest she needed to complete?

being hypersensitive to preparation, andie liked to verify that she was needed with parents of her babysitting clients before she went to pick up their children. many of the kids she looked after had older siblings who could care for them so she never wanted to infringe on a family member’s responsibility. still, many of those elder siblings had after-school responsibilities of their own, which was when andie became a necessity.

she began with the wheeler’s. they were the easiest family to accommodate. michael, their son, was the leader of the quartet of boys andie usually looked after. while his older sister nancy could babysit him, sometimes the young girl needed a break. plus, mike never wanted to be away from his friends. mrs. wheeler knew that her son could be demanding and talkative at times so she always let andie know how much they appreciated her services.

after getting approval from mrs. wheeler, she continued on to the sinclair’s and the henderson’s who also reiterated that andie would have to watch over their sons for the afternoon. she saved the byers’ house for last, resting the egg-shell colored phone in the nook between her ear and her shoulder blade. the dial tone seemed to drone on forever until finally she heard a voice on the other end.

“hello?! is this—“

andie cut the woman off. “hi, ms. byers. this is andrea peterson. i was just calling to—“ this time, andie was the one to be interrupted.

“yes, hi andrea.” joyce byers sounded disappointed to hear that she was speaking with the young girl. andie couldn’t help but wonder who joyce may have been expecting to be on the opposite side of this call.

“i know i’m a little bit behind on paying you for looking after will these past few days but we’ve got a lot going on right now and…” joyce sighed, her voice quavering. andie knew the mid-aged mother to be a little neurotic but she had never heard her this distressed. “you wouldn’t have happened to see will this afternoon, right?”

she paused for a fleeting second, the air heavy.

“of course you wouldn’t have. i’m sure jonathan would’ve told me if—“

“i… ms. byers…”

“will’s missing.”

andie could feel her stomach drop, her guts beginning to churn at the words that had just been thrown at her.

andie had known will byers to be a quiet, reserved twelve year old. she would never admit it out loud, as if not to compromise her integrity as an unbiased professional, but the scrawny boy that she had come to enjoy the company of was her favorite out of all of the children she had babysat.

will was pleasant and never meant to bother anyone. while he was probably the smartest of the party, he tended to keep that to himself instead of flaunt it, a characteristic unfamiliar to andie. she would remind the young boy that “sometime you have to be annoying to have people listen to your great ideas” but each time, he would just nod yes to placate her. he enjoyed listening more than he liked to speak, a similarity he shared with his older brother. as long as andie had some colored pencils and paper on hand, will was a happy kid.

he never meant to cause any harm which meant that his disappearance was, most likely, not out of spite but due to danger.

“we’re not sure where he is or who he’s with but if you could give us—or, or even the police a call if you happen to see him, that would be wonderful.”

“i… of course.” andie wasn’t sure what else to say. she felt paralyzed by the upsetting news. it was grossly infrequent when the chatty teen had little to say and this was one of those moments.

“please, if there’s anything else i can do…”

“i’ll let you know, andrea. thank you.”

joyce hung up the phone without another word, leaving andie beside herself with this information. andie grew increasingly troubled, scalding tears burning at her lash line. she was unable to process what had just happened.

she needed to be alone. she needed to think. she was unsure as towards how to venture forth knowing that someone she had previously sheltered from harm was somewhere without any protection.  

suddenly, life wasn’t so typical and andie wasn’t sure where she’d fit this pain into her ordinary routine.

•••

style inspiration: IN PROGRESS!

song inspiration: https://bit.ly/2k8NyOY

#ystlc #your stranger things life challenge

[dandyandiepeterson]

– PUT ON A LITTLE MAKEUP, MAKEUP, MAKE SURE THEY GET YOUR GOOD SIDE, GOOD SIDE

( goody two shoes, adam ant )

•••

ii. typical school day at hawkins high before the mysterious disappearance of will byers

•••

november fourth, nineteen-eighty-three. andrea dawn peterson had been alive for sixteen years, three months, twenty-seven days, twenty-one hours, twenty-nine minutes and thirty-four seconds. all of that time had passed and she still had not finished high school. she still had not had her first love. she still felt as if she hadn’t aged a day since elementary school. of course, she had her successes but life felt so consistent. andrea had been gifted all of this time and still had lots of it to spare. if only she could do more. she constantly reminded herself how much more she could have accomplished by now if only she was able to spend all of her time awake.

♫ last night i had the strangest dream ♫

andie groaned as she let her hand abandon the warmth of her blanket to glide over the small buttons on her alarm clock. she kept her eyes shut, relishing the last few seconds she had in her dreams.

♫ i sailed away to china ♫

♫ in a little row boat to find ‘ya ♫

matthew wilder’s crooning grew louder until she could no longer pretend to be asleep. she let her fingertips press down on the electronic device to silence it, opening her eyes to scan over the small calendar that was neatly placed on her bedside table. after careful examination, andie turned to lay on her back, staring up at the cream popcorn pellets that were embedded in her ceiling.

“november fourth: full school day, plan student president platform with morgan, pick up the kids from av club, head home in time for dinner, complete homework, shower, brainstorm debate topics until you fall asleep...” she stopped suddenly, remembering to breathe. “repeat.”

“you can do this, andie.” while no one was around to hear her talk aimlessly, andie couldn’t help but feel a little more at ease knowing that she was speaking her life into existence.

the young girl stepped from her bed to start her morning routine which began with her brushing her teeth and hair. she effortlessly moved around her room, collecting what she needed for the day, gradually working towards placing on the outfit she had laid out for herself the night before. everything had a place to andie; she was even aware of her own. once she deemed herself ready, she flounced down the stairs, stopping at the marble island in the kitchen to pull her hair up into a high ponytail.

“i thought i told you, a banana and some orange juice is fine! i’m not an olympic athlete, or a hawkins one, for that matter. i don’t have to bulk up on carbs this early in the morning.”  andie stared down at a plate of oatmeal, toast and bacon, only to begin looking around the room as if to see who the culprit of this abandonment crime was. “yes, i know. but you need as much energy as you can get. i see the calendar in your room. it’s the only thing that’s messy about you, thank god.” andrea smirked at her mother’s reply. she was grateful to have a parent who cared about her, even if her compliments were always accompanied with a quick joke or quip. “well, thank you.” andie replied, taking a spoon full of cinnamon-sugar flavored oats to her mouth.

“do you have a second before you have to go? your father’s segment is about to air.” andie’s mother spoke as if her husband hadn’t broadcast the weather to indiana every day for the past twenty years. “i don’t, mom. i’m sorry.” “what do you have to be so early fo—“ andie grabbed her keys with a flighty jingle, giving her mother nothing more than a quick “love you!” before speeding off out the door.

andie arrived at hawkins high thirty minutes before the first bell was scheduled to ring. she had cursed herself for being behind schedule seeing as she usually preferred to show up forty-five minutes before first period. she pulled into her usual spot quickly, ignoring the couple in the car next to her who had decided to use this private time to make out. at eight-thirty am? andie thought, holding herself back from rolling her eyes. for a moment, she thought about saying something but decided against it. she didn’t want to start the day off on the wrong foot.

maybe it was because andie never had a boyfriend or the fact that she refused to take high school couples seriously but she didn’t understand those her age. she swore she never would.

wiping the nonexistent dust from her flowered dress, andie walked into the front office, optimistically greeting all the older women who were attending the call systems. her voice was sugary-sweet, probably too cheerful for someone who was awake before noon. she sung a few, polite “hellos” and even decided to throw a few “nice blouse!”s to the ladies she particularly liked. she would have addressed them all by name if they hadn’t looked so busy. pushing through the doors that led to the main campus, andie darted to her locker to file her items away. when she was done, she turned her back to the cool metal fixture, crossing her arms over her chest. it was nice to take a second to admire the empty halls. she always enjoyed how peaceful the school looked before it became flooded with students.

“andie, hey!” her moment of solace had fleeted. “andie!” the blonde turned to see who it was that was calling her, smiling when the face approaching her became recognizable. “hi, morgan.”

morgan lawson was that rare breed of female who was bullied for being too masculine in middle school but grew up to be not only head cheerleader but prom queen. she was gorgeous and too kind for her own good but somewhat superficial now that she knew was life was like from the clouds. “how long did i have you waiting? i got sort of... busy.” morgan wiped the side of her lip, taking a moment to peek her head into andrea’s locker to view whatever damage had been done on her face. nothing more needed to be said. “that was you?” andie inquired, raising an eyebrow when her friend didn’t reply immediately.

“morgan, we’ve barely started the day and you’re already getting to second base with…” “patrick henson. he’s trying out for varsity basketball this year.” morgan continued to wipe the sticky pink gloss from the corner of her mouth, leaving andie stuck to stare at the jet-black curls cascading down her back. “the one that looks like a short version of tom cruise? oh! also, he said his friend saw you at the hawk last weekend and thought you we— ”

“patrick henson.” andie tapped her foot, visibly frustrated, before she continued. “can we keep the fraternizing to a minimum, please? we need all the time we can get to plan what we’re going to talk about for the debate. it’s next week and we really don’t have a solid platform. i mean, i don’t think you understand how important it is that i have this for my college applications. it’s more than imperative!” andie could hear herself rambling and morgan drifting off.

“so…” andie tried to grasp at whatever attention of morgan’s she had left, “i take it we definitely have his vote?”

“i sure hope so.”

andrea and morgan had always been close but had felt a strain on their relationship as they grew older. morgan enjoyed taking advantage of her youth while andie found that it was more productive to plan for her adulthood. they still made a good team, especially for the upcoming student election, but definitely weren’t best team, or friends for that matter.

the two spent the next few minutes in an empty classroom, drafting the speeches that they would be presenting to the student body later in the week; they spoke little about what was happening in their own lives. when the bell for first period finally rang, they exchanged goodbyes and planned to meet sometime after the day was through.

as andie walked through the the halls of hawkins high school and towards her first class of the day, she assessed each peer that she passed. each student had a title. lisa weber? cheerleader. jacklyn white? stoner. jason brewster? computer nerd. steve harrington… she stopped to analyze the tall boy who was leaning against his locker.

steve and andie had known each other since grade school and yet they never quite liked each other. andie always assumed it was because she spread a rumor about him in fourth grade. he had spilled apple juice on his shorts and andie, naturally, assumed that he had peed himself. while uncharacteristically juvenile, andie didn’t think that her childish comment required him to hold a grudge.

or was it was because she was so outspoken? too ambitious? andie knew that scared many men, especially these days when films like 9 to 5 had become so popular.

or maybe it was just because he was an asshole.

whatever the truth was, with steve and the rest of the teenagers at hawkins, she at least could assure herself that, come wednesday, she would have all of their votes.

the school day went by rather abruptly. andie had gotten her test grade back in u.s. history (one-hundred percent, as expected), was the only student willing to participate in her french class, ate lunch with the debate team that so desperately wanted her as captain and had completed the calculus worksheet before the rest of her classmates which prompted many of them to ask her to stay after class so that she could somehow offer her help for free. of course, she couldn’t. there were more important matters she had to tend to like organizing the books in her locker or asking mrs. kepler in the front office how her cat was doing.

when classes had finished, she met with morgan again to solidify their campaign further before she had to excuse herself to go pick up her babysitting clients from the middle school. andie ran on a very tight schedule. if she didn’t she was sure the world itself would become stagnant, freezing every inhabitant on cue.

andie held her leather school bag close to her body as she strut to her car, her strides almost as long as the study guide she planned to fill out later. so focused on what more needed to be done, andie nearly missed the sight of black, wavy hair in her periphery. her heart stopped.

kyle walcott.

what was he other than the only male student andie would be willing to waste her time on? andie stood in place, unaware of how awkward she may have looked studying him from afar. she watched him talk with his friends, his mouth in a straight line except for when he’d separate his lips with a cigarette. what were they talking about? poetry, science, perpetual doom? she wouldn’t be so upset about sharing a few minutes, alone, in a car with him.

“andie!”

it seemed like her name always brought her back to reality.

andie whipped around to look over her shoulder, her ponytail slapping against her flushed cheek. “andie! wait up!” while her reality may not have been as sweet as her daydream, she knew the boy calling her name was.

cameron reynolds had always been a figure of light in andie’s life. they had been close in grade school but he had moved before the first day of middle school, ultimately causing a cease in their friendship. it was hard to keep in touch via phone call or hand-written letters, especially as a thirteen year old. when he moved back at the start of their freshman year, andie was ecstatic. finally, she was to have a friend back who cared about listening to her speak more than they, themselves, wanted to speak. plus, he didn’t mind if andie didn’t take a breath between sentences. he could follow along.

“if you’re going to ask me to help you with algebra you might as well ask me to mop the science corridor’s restrooms.” cameron looked at her with furrowed brows as she placed her hands on her hips. “hard no.” andie finished while cameron let out an enthused laugh.

“you know you’re more than just a big brain to me, andie. plus, i’m in geometry this semester, thank you very much!”

“i’m surprised. isn’t that where they send all the mouth-breathers like steve harrington and his band of jocks?” she spoke loudly, unafraid of who may hear her. maybe that’s why steve hated her, she had no respect for those who showed zero interest in their future.

“cold! your boyfriend is in that class.”

“boyfriend? what boyfriend?”

“what boyfriend?” cameron mimicked, his pitch high and whiny. “kyle walcott.”

andie began to stammer. she loved cameron except for when he would tease her. he was always so intent on making her squirm seeing as she was always so composed.

because of her professionalism, most students at hawkins respected andie. she held this unspoken power that seemed to go hand in hand with being an excellent student. most of them were afraid of a witty retort that she held up her sleeve. she was smarter than the kids at this school and that came with her having a sharper tongue... and a stronger relationship with the principal.

“he’s not my boyfriend.” andie stood up a little straighter. when she didn’t gain a response, she scoffed as cameron pretended to clear his throat.

“what?! he’s my lab partner and that’s it. come on, there’s nothing sexy about watching someone dissect a frog.” andie pretended as if she didn’t spend that entire lecture studying kyle’s face, admiring the way his dark curls fell against his forehead each time he leaned forward with the scalpel.

“to you.” cameron wiggled his eyebrows while andie nudged him hard in the chest. “so, how’s the presidential campaign going? can i bet on calling your president peterson for the rest of the year?”

“i’m not trying to toot my own horn because you know i’d never do something like that,” cameron shook his head and andie couldn’t help but let a small smirk spread across her face before she went on, “but according to sources at the hawkins high herald, morgan and i have placed first in polls asking students who they find most qualified and competent for the position.”

“qualified and competent,” cameron clasped his hands together, simulating a singular clap. andie barely gave him a second to congratulate her before she spoke again. “you have no idea how amazing this is going to look on my princeton application. it’s going to look great on all my applications, of course, but columbia especially.”

“columbia, yeah. how many more days?” cameron asked.

“five hundred and fifty seven.”

andie couldn’t wait to be off at college, spending her time with those who had the same mental capacity as she did. she had been dreaming about the life she’d have in the new york since she knew what the word “university” meant.

“i wish i had my life as in order as you do.” cameron sighed, leaning against andie’s car door window. it was just then that she had realized she was at her final destination.

“at least you have an order at benny’s with your name on it. i have to go watch the kids for the rest of the day.”

“who today?” he questioned.

“wheeler, henderson, sinclair, byers. the dream team.”

“good luck. tell me if they slay the knight or… whatever it is that they do in dungeons and dragons.” andie let out a small chuckle; cameron knew one of the only matters she couldn’t wrap her head around was that complicated board game. she had been trying to grasp some sort of understanding of the “campaigns” since she started looking after the boys years ago but not a single page out of the game’s five-hundred page manual proved to be helpful.

andie left cameron with a single wink, finally climbing into her butter-yellow beetle to pick up the younger children from school.

after the babysitting, the chatting with her client’s older sister (nancy wheeler was a good friend, andie couldn’t blatantly ignore her especially with the election coming up so soon), the homework, the dinner and the after-dinner snack of watching dynasty with her family, andie could barely wait to crawl back under the covers. while she knew there was more work to be done, she also knew she couldn’t stay up all night to finish it. she’d burn out too quickly and she still had five hundred and fifty six more days to survive in this town. slowly, andie’s fingers tangled in her hair to let down her ponytail, smoothing out her locks as they settled just past her shoulders.

if only she could, though. she wished she could stay awake forever. she wondered how much different her life would be. she wondered how much more she would be able to change in the next sixteen years, three months and twenty-seven days of her life.

•••

style inspiration: IN PROGRESS!

song inspiration: https://bit.ly/2m1wn6l

#ystlc #your stranger things life challenge

[dandyandiepeterson]

– BUT JUST LIKE THE RAIN I'LL ALWAYS BE FALLING

( if you were here, thompson twins )

••• 

• THE GIRL •

:: ANDREA PETERSON, 16

( the babysitter next door, hawkins high valedictorian )

faceclaim – lili reinhart

•••

  • THE FAMILY •

:: CAROLYN SAYWER-PETERSON, 46

( mother )

average high school student turned maternity nurse

cares excessively for her daughter but fears of looking too over-protective or neurotic so in order to overcompensate she frequently comes across as nonchalant

always dreamed of having a large family but found out, in her thirties, that she was infertile; settling on living vicariously through her patients

upon graduating high school, did a small stint in the us army nurse corps as an act of rebellion against her parents, doesn’t like to talk about it

very opinionated, causing clashes with her daughter’s equally strong personality

knows her daughter is smarter than she ever was, struggles with being unable to help her navigate her academics

warm and comforting to her daughter when the situation calls for it because her parents never were

nervous about the potential monumental expenses that will come with her daughter’s “ivy league” schooling

has a substantial crush on steve mcqueen, will deny it to anyone except her daughter

faceclaim – jodie foster

:: CHARLES PETERSON, 51

( father )

grown distant to his wife and daughter in the recent years

gained his degree in journalism even though he’s always been more interested in accounting

after graduating with his bachelor’s he picked up a job at the local news station as a weather reporter because the offer was good, never intended on staying but will be celebrating twenty-eight years with the station this year

met his wife when the channel was doing a segment at hawkins memorial hospital, the newscaster that was scheduled called out and they needed someone to step in to cover the story; he did and claims it was the greatest decision he’s ever made

always wanted a motorcycle, despite his wife’s protests

thinks he’s more involved in his daughter’s life than he actually is (he thinks her dream school is harvard when it’s actually columbia)

bonds with his daughter through their love for novels; their favorite is anna karenina

wishes he’d be much more successful in life than he is now but would never admit it out loud

faceclaim – greg kinnear

• THE FRIENDS •

:: MORGAN LAWSON, 16

( childhood best friend )

met andie in the first grade, they first started talking because they had the same pair of shoes on

grew breasts in the seventh grade and suddenly became the object of every middle school boy’s affection

grew up fairly unnoticed but is now one of the most popular students at hawkins high

despite having grown apart from andie due to the differences in their social status, they still rely on each other quite frequently

believes that andie is still one of her best friends, despite everything

supposedly once made out with the drummer from duran duran; no one can confirm this story

dreams of being a movie star but refuses to tell her parents; they want her to be a lawyer

vice president of 1983 hawkins high student council; shared the ticket with andie who ran as president

member of the hawkins high cheerleading squad; rumor has it, jonathan byers got a picture up her skirt and is trying to sell it for cash; both deny that this story is true

has a 3.8 gpa, to much of hawkins surprise; is probably just as smart as andie, just less ambitious

carries baby pink lip gloss with her everywhere

faceclaim – laura harrier

:: MAEVE STANDISH, 16

( eventual best friend )

was assigned to have andie show her around her first day at hawkins high; andie claims she always saw “potential” in maeve and appreciated her “authenticity” from the start

one of hawkins lab experiments; andie was the first hawkins high student she explicitly told about her abilities

started getting coffee with andie strictly so that they could study for u.s. history but they always end up goofing off; they make it a weekly tradition along with grabbing (stealing, in maeve’s case) ice cream at benny’s

ran as vice president with andie as president for the 1984 hawkins high student council election; the two girls won with almost no competition

taught andie how to drive stick-shift after andie revealed it’s one of the only things she doesn’t know how to do; maeve’s boyfriend, james, was the one to teach her only a few months prior

attempted to keep the mystical circumstances of hawkins as far away as possible from andie to keep her safe; will probably always be angry that andie’s future boyfriend, steve harrington, divulged all the information to the girl in under ten minutes

always orders a typical veggie pizza when andie sleeps over, despite how much she hates green peppers and olives

really passionate about space, especially constellations and stars; she has never missed when a large celestial event such as a solar eclipse, lunar eclipse or meteor shower has occurred and has even proposed that, when they do happen, she and her friends celebrate with either a party or drinks

faceclaim – zoey deutch

:: NANCY WHEELER, 16

( friend )

sat next to andie in english seventh grade; it was the first time they actually had a conversation with each other even though they had known each other their entire lives

andie babysits her younger brother and his friends frequently making the two of them very acquainted

hosts movie nights every first saturday of the month for all the girls involved in student council

isn’t quite sure why andie dislikes her boyfriend, steve, so much but wishes they would get along so she could invite him to more events

was best friends with barbara holland before she disappeared

doesn’t want to be valedictorian because she know andie deserves the title (and cares about it more)

faceclaim – natalia dyer

:: CAMERON REYNOLDS, 16

( friend )

parents got a divorce when he was in the fourth grade; his mom won custody of him and after the split was settled, she moved the two of them to fort wayne to get as far away from his father as possible

moved back in the middle of freshman year at hawkins high with a new, confident attitude; there’s a lot of mystery as towards why he moved back, some say that he was caught making out with a guy at his school in fort wayne and got expelled

andie was one of the first students he reconnected with; she reminded him of the time she loaned him a pencil in elementary school and was hoping to get it back; he admired her tenacity from that day forward

rumors claim that he is gay although it’s not true, he’s just very in touch with his femininity

had a crush on morgan lawson since he was five, is hoping that she’ll give him the time of day sometime soon

unbothered by most things people say to him except if it’s about his mother; the two are very close and he’s very protective of her

very adventurous and carefree, wishes that hawkins would learn how to “live a little”

favorite band is the kinks

has been attending dance classes since he was young and, while unrelated, he also was an extra in footloose (he can only be seen for three seconds total but he’s there!)

faceclaim – nick robinson

• THE BOY(S) •

:: BRETT LI, 16

( future ex-boyfriend, ex-friend? )

plays for the hawkins high basketball team; hasn’t made a shot since freshman year but is still one of the best players on the team

befriended andie in freshman year after they were required to challenge each other on the debate team; andie won the debate but they both emerged with an appreciation for each other’s wit

was caught cheating recently on an english exam; has no idea that andie was the one who turned him in

before the cheating scandal, he held the spot of valedictorian of hawkins high

dated morgan lawson at the start of high school but they broke up on their five month anniversary; neither of them has disclosed why although it is assumed that brett’s parents met morgan and didn’t approve of their son dating “a girl like her”

associates more with the jocks than he does with the nerds, even though he is exceptionally smart

plans to major in microbiology in college

bitter that andie got the internship at hawkins lab instead of him despite the fact that he knows andie is academically superior

got an ferrari for his sixteenth birthday and claims that to be his most prized possession

tends to be out of touch with teen culture; sometimes called “the dad friend”

has two younger, twin sisters named crystal and june who are in third grade; brett has a major soft-spot for them and enjoys being the older brother who is willing to shield them from any sort of harm

holds the record for the longest keg stand any hawkins high student has ever done

supposedly distantly related to ridley scott

  faceclaim – ross butler

:: KYLE WALCOTT, 16

( lab partner, crush )

basically everything jonathan byers wishes he could be

has been lab partners with andie since the start of high school; he only chooses her because she completes all the assignments by herself and solidifies his “a”

always seen reading; he prefers poetry by baudelaire and byron but can also be seen with a good classic novel

claims he hasn’t told a lie in four years

lost his virginity to a senior his first week at hawkins high; can’t remember her name

works at the coffee shop that andie and maeve frequent; andie claims she goes there because they sell good coffee, not to see him

has been smoking cloves since middle school, will settle for malboro’s

completely distrusts the government although his mother works for it; can be attributed the the fact that 1984 is his favorite novel

in a band called “teen pope” with a few of his friends; mainly plays guitar but can also play the drums

finds mainstream music to be boring causing him to listen solely to the smiths, the velvet underground, talking heads and any other unheard band of the late sixties/early seventies

dad left him, his mom and his younger sister when he was seven years old; hasn’t talked about this with anyone and doesn’t plan to

faceclaim – timothée chalamet

:: STEVE HARRINGTON, 17

( bane of her existence, future boyfriend/love of her life )

has never liked andie due to her bossy, competitive nature; attempts to get under her skin every chance he gets

spilled juice on his pants in grade school and andie started a rumor that he peed himself; will probably never forgive her

after growing close with dustin henderson, inadvertently steals andie’s spot of “best babysitter in hawkins”; has stolen most of her clients

although he dislikes andie, he knows that she deserves better than kyle walcott; thinks she’s “stupid” despite her gpa because of her crush on him

currently dating nancy wheeler

is the first to fill andie in on the mystic happenings in hawkins and advises her against interning with hawkins lab

after his eventual break up with nancy, he confides in andie who in turn confides in him about her own insecurities, causing them to have a strange bond as friends... and eventually something more

faceclaim – joe keery

#ystlc #your stranger things life challenge

[dandyandiepeterson]

☆ andrea peterson’s playlist ☆

☆ ANDIE'S STUDY SONGS

some tunes to chill out to whether you're filling out college applications, making student government campaign posters or fighting a monster from another dimension

LISTEN HERE ON SPOTIFY: https://spoti.fi/2JYRflL

i. EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD

( originally by tears for fears )

"welcome to your life / there's no turning back / even while we sleep / we will find you"

ii. GOODBYE STRANGER

( originally by supertramp )

"but i have to have things my own way / to keep me in my youth"

 iii. THEME FROM MAHOGANY (DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO)

( originally by diana ross )

"do you know where you're going to? / do you like the things that life is showing you / where are you going to?

/ do you know?"

iv. 9 TO 5

( originally by dolly parton )

"pour myself a cup of ambition / yawnin' and stretchin' and try to come to life”

 v. MANIC MONDAY

( originally by the bangles )

"these are the days / when you wish your bed was already made"

 vi. WEIRD SCIENCE

( originally by oingo boingo )

"things i’ve never seen before / behind bolted doors / talent and imagination"

 vii. NUMBER ONE

( originally by tove styrke )

"no one ever wants to give you some / but everybody loves a number one"

 viii. MY KIND OF WOMAN

( originally by mac demarco )

"i'm feeling so tired really falling apart / and it just don't make sense to me / i really don't know / why you stick right next to me or wherever i go"

 ix. LOVE MY WAY

( originally by the psychedelic furs  )

"there's emptiness behind their eyes / there's dust in all their hearts / they just want to steal us all and / take us all apart, but not in"

 x. QUEEN BITCH

( originally by david bowie )

"if she says she can do it, then she can do it, she don't make false claims / but she's a queen and such are queens that your laughter is sucked in their brains"

 xi. REPTILIA

( originally by the strokes )

"i said, please don't slow me down if i'm going too fast / you're in a strange part of our town"

xii. KEEP ON LYING

( originally by tame impala )

“there is something you should know / but hell if i'd ever let it show”

xiii. MAKE ME LIKE YOU

( originally by gwen stefani )

“why'd you have to go and make me like you? / i'm so mad at you 'cause now you got me missing you”

xiv. LITTLE LIES

( originally by fleetwood mac )

“but i couldn't find a way / so i'll settle for one day / to believe in you”

xv. BYE BYE BYE

( originally by plants and animals )

“you have woke up to soon / and the world is rearranged / and now your feelings have changed”

xvi. THE NIGHT JOSH TILLMAN CAME TO OUR APT.

( originally by father john misty )

“someone's been told too many times / they're beyond their years”

xvii. FLASHDANCE... WHAT A FEELING

( originally by irene cara )

“take your passion / and make it happen”

xviii. SHE’S A GENIUS

( originally by jet )

“if what you know is who you are / then she's everything”

xvix. BREAK MY STRIDE

( originally by matthew wilder )

"ain't nothin' gonna break-a my stride / nobody gonna slow me down / oh no / i got to keep on movin'"

xx. SUPER TROUPER

( originally by abba )

“part of a success that never ends / still i’m thinking about you only”

 xxi. OVERKILL

( originally by men at work )

"especially at night / i worry over situations / i know will be alright / perhaps it's just imagination"

 xxii. THE LOGICAL SONG

( originally by supertramp )

“there are times when all the world's asleep / the questions run too deep / for such a simple man / won't you please, please tell me what we've learned / i know it sounds absurd / please tell me who i am”

 xxiii. STAND BY ME

( originally by ben e. king )

"when the night has come / and the land is dark / and the moon is the only light we see / no i won't be afraid / no i won't be afraid / just as long as you stand, stand by me"

 xxiv. FROZEN

( originally by madonna )

"you only see what your eyes want to see / how can life be what you want it to be / you're frozen / when your heart's not open"

 xxv.  FERNANDO

( originally by abba )

"though i never thought that we could lose / there's no regret / if i had to do the same again / i would, my friend, fernando"

 xxvi. ONE OF US

( originally by new politics )

"before the day is through, i promise you / that we will laugh about it all / and we'll celebrate the things we've done for years to come / 'cause that's what friends, that's what friends are for"

xxvii. LOST IN EMOTION

( originally by lisa lisa & cult jam )

“i find myself telling you things / i don’t even tell my best friend / i keep showing emotions / not knowing just where it all stems”

xxviii. BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGLE

( originally by new order )

"it's no problem of mine / but it's a problem i find / living a life that i can't leave behind"

xxvix. ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

( originally by blondie )

“one way or another, i'm gonna win ya' / i'm gonna get ya', get ya' ,get ya', get ya'”

xxx. RUN THE WORLD (GIRLS)

( originally by beyoncé )

"my persuasion can build a nation / endless power, with our love we can devour / you'll do anything for me"

xxxi. SHE WORKS HARD FOR THE MONEY

( originally by donna summer )

“of the ones who come in / they really seem to need her there”

xxxii. FAME

( originally by irene cara )

"i can catch the moon in my hand / don't you know who i am"

xxxiiii. OH NO!

( originally by marina and the diamonds )

"don't do love, don't do friends / i'm only after success / don't need a relationship / i'll never soften my grip"

 xxxiv. GLORIA

( originally by laura branigan )

"i think you've got to slow down / before you start to blow it / i think you're headed for a breakdown / so be careful not to show it"

#ystlc

[dandyandiepeterson]

— I THINK YOU'RE HEADED FOR A BREAKDOWN, SO BE CAREFUL NOT TO SHOW IT

( gloria, laura branigan )

•••

: : ANDREA "ANDIE" PETERSON, 16 : :

( the babysitter next door, lili reinhart )

•••

i. BASIC INFORMATION

» full name: andrea dawn peterson

» nicknames: andie, ann, andie-candy (by her father), occasionally “peterson”

» age: sixteen

» birthday: july fourteenth, nineteen-sixty-seven

» birthplace: hawkins, indiana

» zodiac sign: cancer

» current residence: hawkins, indiana

» gender: cis female

» occupation: for a majority of the series, andie is a full-time student at hawkins high school and a trusted, neighborhood babysitter. she is an active member of nine student organizations and is elected sophomore, junior and senior class president. in nineteen-eighty-four, andie secures an unpaid internship working as a lab assistant at hawkins laboratory. she later quits this position. come summer of nineteen-eighty-five, andie is the head volunteer at hawkins general hospital and works part-time in retail at “herman’s world of sporting goods” at starcourt mall.

ii. HEALTH

» physical health: physically and mentally, andie is very healthy. she is of average weight and rarely gets ill. andie's good health is vital to her seeing as there is no way she would be able to balance her busy schedule while sick.

» scars: andie has a tiny, uneven scar right above her right ankle. while she was babysitting dustin henderson, his cat, mews, scratched her.

» broken (any) bones: andie fractured her left wrist in the second grade. a classmate, tommy hagan, had told her that girls couldn’t climb trees and she attempted to prove him wrong.

iii. MENTAL HEALTH

» extrovert or introvert: it fluctuates but andie would classify herself as an extrovert. growing up, the only complaint teachers would make against her was that she had a tendency to talk too much. maintaining a high level of charisma is vital to andie as she is constantly pursuing positions that demand respect from the hawkins student body.

» logical or creative: andie is highly logical. she sometimes struggles to see things from a different perspective because she bases a majority of her beliefs on fact. creativity has known to strike andie when she is under dire stress. she would rather try something absurd than ever give up.

» optimist or pessimist: when the situation calls for it, andie can be optimistic but she's more inclined to be a pessimist. nothing ever lives up to her expectations. later in the series, andie taps into her optimism to offset the harsh realism of her best-friend, maeve standish.

» phobias / fears: andie has three main phobias: reptiles, insects and failure. a part of her is terrified that no one will ever love her for who she truly is. ever cautious, andie has a strict aversion to danger. this is partially why her weapon of choice is a tennis racket as compared to something more volatile like a gun.

» problems: while undiagnosed, andie exhibits many symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder.

iv. PERSONALITY

» goals / dreams: andie's main goal in life is to attend columbia university after graduating hawkins high school. she is desperate to leave behind hawkins in pursuit of higher education. from the age of four, andie has been enchanted by the manhattan based university. this interest resulted from a documentary that had been left on by her father as a means of creating background noise in their living room. while he snoozed through the special, a young andie couldn’t take her eyes off of the small television screen. not only was columbia located in one of the most exciting and culturally-diverse cities but they had one of the greatest medical programs in the nation. if she was going to be a doctor, she was going to make sure to be the best doctor. coulmbia would allow her to learn from the best. andie is passionate about her dreams and will stop at nothing to make sure that she succeeds.

» quirks / habits: andie tends to pick at her nails when she's nervous. she never leaves home without a pack of gum and her favorite lip-gloss. she’ll always take her coffee with a lot of cream and at least two teaspoons of sugar. if her coffee is any darker, she’ll throw it away. she doesn’t eat eggs. she usually keeps her hair in a tight-strung ponytail. the more nervous she is for an event, the earlier she will arrive for it. she leaves a penny underneath the front seat of her car as a way to induce good luck.

» likes: student government association, science (mainly chemistry), getting good grades, collared shirts, lab coats, coffee, vinyl records, libraries, peach chapstick, harrison ford, spearmint gum, star wars, tom cruise, over-achieving, reading (especially finishing a long book), duran duran, watching films with her mother, stickers, big binders, warm blankets, knit sweaters, david bowie, ponytails, babysitting, siamese cats (although she is allergic), organizing files, applause, christmas time, sharpened pencils, being on time, pistachio ice cream, the carpenters, watching the sun rise, dolly parton, doing laundry, anything pink, yellow sunflowers, finishing term papers, volunteer work, scrap booking, making lists, study groups, richard moore, getting a full night's sleep, politics, winning

» dislikes: thunderstorms, embarrassing herself, losing, disorganization, deadlines, sports, sweating, feeling unprepared, jocks, people who challenge her intelligence, the sound of balloons popping, roller coasters, not being in control, fast food, appearing weak, most teenagers, laziness, chocolate cake (she’d much prefer vanilla), messy lockers (and rooms), feeling unproductive, being wrong

» flaws: she's wildly ambitious to the point where she's intimidating. she puts on a tough exterior so that she can succeed at everything without showing weakness. she's very territorial of "being the best". she rarely admits when she's wrong. she has a tendency to lie to get what she wants. she feels everything very intensely and she can sometimes act on impulse. she has thrown herself into work in order to ignore any upset in her life.

v. FAMILY

» parents: charles peterson (father, fc: greg kinnear), carolyn peterson (mother, fc: jodie foster)

» paternal grandparents: walter peterson (grandfather, fc: tommy lee jones), lucille peterson (grandmother, fc: susan sarandon)

» maternal grandparents: arthur hughes (grandfather, fc: richard gere), sylvia hughes (grandmother, fc: jessica lange)

» sibling(s): n/a.

» children: n/a.

vi. APPEARANCE

» height: five feet, seven inches

» weight: one hundred and thirty two pounds

» eyes: green with golden flecks

» hair: dirty blonde

» face and complexion: andie is very fair with a few freckles sprawling over her shoulders and back. these marks appear more prominently in the summer months. she doesn’t really sun-tan, she mainly just burns. most of her features are soft and rounded. her eyes are large, separated by a dainty, button nose. she tends to wear a light shade of makeup to cover any “imperfections”. her lips are almost always coated in a layer of peach-tinted lip balm.

» build: tall and slim — andie is one of the tallest girls in her class.

» defining marks: other than the spontaneous freckles andie has, she also has a birth mark on her right shoulder. it's sort of shaped like a heart. she has another small, light freckle that sits on the right side of her face, directly above her upper lip.

» dress style: andie's style is dynamic. the main focus of her wardrobe is to keep things light and natural. she enjoys pastel colors but can frequently be seen in dark blue, black, emerald and maroon. collared shirts and turtlenecks are her friends and she's a sucker for a good power suit. she admits to having more than one denim jacket in her closet. she loves pleated skirts and overalls. she alternates between her trusty pair of white keds and a variety of ballet flats. andie also claims that scrunchies are sort of her trademark. her style, overall, could be classified as preppy but, as showcased, it can vary. much of her femininity is expressed through the way she chooses to dress. her style icons include princess diana, christie brinkley, brooke shields and michelle pfeiffer.

» faceclaim: lili reinhart

vii. ROMANTIC & SEXUAL

» marital status: never been married.

» sexual preference: primarily and dominantly heterosexual although she would not entirely rule out dating a female.

» ever had sex: at the start of the series, no. she loses her virginity in the spring of nineteen-eighty-four to her then boyfriend, brett li.

» opinion on sex: when we first meet andie, she isn't opposed to sex and is pretty comfortable talking about it — especially considering she's still a virgin. raised on romance movies, andie silently hopes that her first time is magical. she understands that sex doesn’t have to have meaning but, for her, a sense of care is necessary. vulnerability frightens andie. part of her doesn’t know if she can engage in such an intimate activity without entirely trusting her partner. in turn, andie doesn’t oppose casual sex but personally never engages in it. sex is reserved for someone she has an emotional connection with.

» opinion on relationships: at the start of her high school career, andie is pretty opposed to being a relationship. she believes that, at this age, relationships never last because teenagers are too fickle. typical school-girl crushes still come and go but usually do not last. more importantly, she has way too many responsibilities and is afraid that a boyfriend might complicate her life even further. she supposes that if she feels a genuine connection with someone, she won't push them away, but she's definitely not actively searching for a significant other.

» turn ons: intelligence, forehead kisses, intellectual conversations/debates, teamwork, bravery, selflessness, having someone truly listen to her, knowledge of poetry/poets, when someone believes in her, perseverance, speaking multiple languages, tall boys, tucking pencils behind the ear, hugs from behind, wearing circular glasses, wearing a boy's jacket, confidence, boys with nice hair

» turn offs: ignorance, laziness, the smell of beer on someone's breath, boys who brag about partying all the time, people interrupting her, politically conservative individuals, arrogance, people who whistle or snap to get her attention, unkempt beards, being told that she’s wrong

» past relationships: when we first meet andie, she has never been in an official relationship.

» current relationship: at the start of nineteen-eighty-three, andie is single.

» future relationship(s): brett li (fc: ross butler), steve harrington (fc: joe keery)

viii. FRIENDSHIP

» big group of friends or several close friends: andie is more inclined to have a big group of casual friends. she is fairly well-liked by the entire hawkins student body due to her activism but her assertive personality turns many people off. she is what some have called "annoying". andie claims that she doesn’t mind not having too many good friends (”i’ll have more friends when i’m at columbia”) but she secretly hopes to find her “people” by the time she graduates.

» best friend: andie considers herself her own best friend. few people live up to her standards. after will byers' disappearance, andie builds a strong bond with maeve standish. it only takes a week before andie boldly claims that maeve is her best friend. the bond the two girls share is unmatched. andie is convinced that maeve was always destined to come into her life.

» ever lied to a friend: yes. andie tries very hard not to lie but finds that many situations call for it. she usually tells white lies to buy herself more time to finish important things (i.e. essays, applications) but has kept secrets from friends and family for months at a time.

» the most horrible thing they did to a friend: andie turned in brett li for cheating on an english exam. she was fueled by her desire to outperform all of her classmates. later, she found that because of this admission, she secured the spot for hawkins class of nineteen-eighty-six valedictorian. andie continued to start a relationship with brett and, in the seven months they dated, never confessed to the crime she committed against him.

» list of friends:

; maeve standish ( classmate - best friend / zoey deutch / @missbemaeve )

; nancy wheeler ( classmate / natalia dyer )

; steve harrington ( classmate - future boyfriend / joe keery )

; dustin henderson ( babysitting client / gaten matarazzo )

; lucas sinclair ( babysitting client / caleb mclaughlin )

; michael wheeler ( babysitting client / finn wolfhard )

; william byers ( babysitting client - little-brother figure / noah schnapp )

; maxine mayfield ( babysitting client - little-sister figure / sadie sink )

; morgan lawson ( classmate - close friend / laura harrier / oc )

; brett li ( classmate - future boyfriend / ross butler / oc )

; kyle walcott  ( classmate - crush / timothée chalamet / oc )

; cameron reynolds ( classmate - good friend / nick robinson / oc )

ix. MORALITY

» ever been drunk: yes, only once, at a house party during her freshman year. andie’s friend, morgan, had suggested that she loosen up a bit and dragged her along. she tried tequila for the very first and last time that night.

» lied to a significant other: andie lies to brett the entirety of their seven-month long relationship. she led him to believe that barbara holland was the one who turned him in for cheating.

» cheated on significant other: andie has not cheated on a significant other. she does not condone cheating under any circumstance. whether someone cheats on a test on cheats on their significant other, she finds it abhorrent.

» gotten into a fight: she's never gotten into a fist fight but she's gotten frustrated at her classmates multiple times. she doesn't understand how some people can be so unmotivated.

» deepest regret: andie tries to live her life without any regrets but she regrets being so competitive at times. she is aware that she can be selfish and overbearing. she wishes she had a closer circle of friends and knows that her ambition scares many away. much of andie is disappointed that she allowed the animosity between her and steve harrington to reach such great heights. if she had the chance to go back in time, she would have tried to reconcile with him sooner. further, andie’s deepest regret is found in keeping her role in the cheating scandal private from brett throughout their relationship.

» religion: andie attended catholic church with her family until the age of ten. science driven, she found it hard to believe in every parable. messages of disgust towards marginalized communities also left andie uncertain if religion matched her morals. currently, she is non-practicing, choosing to instead identify as agnostic.

x. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

» instagram (as if they were living in the modern day): https://bit.ly/2tdirG6

» inspiration: annie edison (community), paris geller (gilmore girls), amy brookheimer (veep), amy santiago (brooklyn nine-nine), lydia martin (teen wolf), hermione granger (harry potter), gwen stacy (marvel), tracy flick (the election), rachel berry (glee), leslie knope (parks and recreation), jackie burkhart (that ‘70s show), cindy berman (fear street film trilogy)

» gifboard: https://bit.ly/2lg9FDy

» people: https://bit.ly/2t7qaq7, https://bit.ly/2Xzbhd7 (family information)

» playlist(s): https://bit.ly/2t54D0W (for andie), https://bit.ly/2JZN8G7 (for andie’s future boyfriend, steve), https://bit.ly/2JE0OJp (for andie’s first love, brett)

#ystlc #your stranger things life challenge #andie peterson #bio