davidleefinley

[davidleefinley]

Fin nodded eagerly, he remembered the way. They left the park quickly, trying to beat the hoards of tired families that were leaving at the same time. Fin hopped on to his bike and handed Jillian his spare helmet, he made sure she was safe and secure then kicked the motorcycle in to action and set off.

The hotel wasn’t as far as Fin thought (proven by him missing the exit the first time) so they got there quite quickly. Fin parked the bike and took off his helmet, he looked around, this was the place his mom had got them rooms at one time as a gift. It was one of the tackier hotels but it was still pretty awesome. “This brings back memories, huh?”, he grinned at Jill and took her hand to walk in to the lobby. 

Fin was trying to play cool, like it was no huge deal that his ex-girlfriend wanted to spend the night in to a hotel with him. This had all gone far better than expected. There was a nagging thought in the back of his mind about the fact that by this time the following day they’d be separated again. What could he do though? The band couldn’t play without him and they’d kill him if he cancelled. “Do you think-”, Fin trailed off, he didn’t want to bring up him leaving now, “Uh... Do you think the bar is still open? I could do with a drink”, he finished with a smile.

#roleplay

[davidleefinley]

"This is the part when we kiss, right?" Fin looked down at Jillian, his childhood sweetheart, the girl he had once loved ... and still did. He kissed her just as the fireworks came to their grand finale. It was like something from a movie, or a dream. Nothing had felt so right in a long time. Fin pulled away from the kiss and couldn't help but to pull Jill in to a hug. "I missed you so much", he said. Honestly at this moment he didn't care if he was being too much, too clingy, he was scared she might change her mind, decide he wasn't good enough for her, which Fin knew he wasn't.

#roleplay

[davidleefinley]

[davidleefinley]

peach // the front bottoms

[davidleefinley]

“i know, i know you’re in love with me and i’ve been ignoring you”

[davidleefinley]

When he’d mentioned Disney World Fin hadn’t expected Jill to actually go for it but seeing how excited she got made him excited and the next thing he knew they were on his bike. “Hang on”, Fin prompted her as he kicked the bike up and set off towards Epcot. 

The whole of Disney held very fond memories for Fin, not even just Jill memories, he and his mom and brother had gone to Disney a lot in his younger years. There was a framed photo hung on the wall of his moms kitchen that showed a four year old Fin sat atop his fathers shoulders in front of the Disney Castle, it was one of the only clear memories Fin had of his dad.

Soon enough they were parking up, motorcycle spots were right by the parks entrance, a good thing seeing as it was quickly getting dark. “I think Kurt would be super pissed”, Fin said in regards to Jill’s drinking around the world plan, “But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it”, he continued. 

They made it in to the park just as the opening music for Illuminations began Fin grabbed hold of Jill’s hand and they ran together, past spaceship earth, past the Epcot fountain right until they arrived at the start of world showcase where the crowds had gathered. “Fuck”, Fin panted he crouched down to the ground trying to catch his breath, “Too much running. Enjoy the fireworks, I’m just gonna lay down here and die”, at least he was able to make jokes about his poor athletic ability. 

After being over dramatic for a couple minutes more Fin stood up the actual fireworks portion of the show had just started, he looked down at Jill to see her looking up at the colorful explosions, he smiled. They’d had their first kiss here, well, not this spot. The exact spot was in the Norway portion of the park, on the  Maelstrom ride, it had stopped mid-ride, it had just felt like the right time. That ride was a frozen ride now, Fin resented that.

#roleplay

[davidleefinley]

[davidleefinley]

 Knowing that Jillian actually wanted to spend more time with him, even if it was to yell at him some more, made Fin very happy. Quickly he ran over to his band mates to tell them the plan, they weren’t exactly pleased but they understood, this was the girl they’d been hearing about for so long, this was Jill. Before dashing off after his ex-girlfriend Fin instructed the band to haul his motorcycle out of the second van so he wouldn’t have to rent a car, they complained, but finally agreed. “Thanks guys, see you at West Palm Beach!”, he chirped before waving a quick farewell and tagging along behind Jillian who had already begun to walk. “Don’t be late!”, Travis shouted after him to which Fin just raised a middle finger up behind his head as he continued to walk.

Jill’s bands bus was way neater than Fin’s, he admired it as she grabbed her things. The band were all guys, good looking guys, a lot better looking than Fin. “Hey”, Fin raised  a hand in greeting then self-consciously folded his arms trying to hide his (what he believed to be) chubby body. Fin watched Jill hug her band mate with some discomfort, were they a couple? Was he being crazy or... The guy was really handsome, Fin wondered if maybe he should try and grow a beard, but who was he kidding? He couldn’t grow a beard if he wanted to. 

“Ready?”, Jill asked, Fin nodded, “Yeah!”, he replied with enthusiasm he wanted to get away from all these good looking guys as quickly as possible.They wandered out towards the warped tour crowds, mostly a bunch of sweaty teenagers, and Fin paused. “Uh, what do you want to do?”, he asked. There were a lot of options, they could hang around watching bands, go get some questionable food truck snacks, visit some of the many tourist attractions. “I know what your answer would have been five years ago”, Fin grinned, “Disneyworld!”, he exclaimed, in his “Jill” voice that had been a running joke when they were together, it actually sounded nothing like her.

#roleplay

[davidleefinley]

“West Palm Beach”, Fin confirmed with a nod, he followed Jillian’s gaze to his band members they all looked away immediately apart from Kurt who gave Fin a stern look, a look that said don’t do anything stupid. This meeting had been so fleeting, and Fin had never been a big fan of goodbyes, which is why when he’d left all those years ago he hadn’t said it. Fin knew it was silly to hope that things might go back to the way they used to be, up until he’d seen Jillian again he hadn’t realized he’d even wanted that.

“I don’t have to go though”, Fin saw the rest of the band pause and look up from what they were doing, he turned to give them what he hoped was a reassuring look. “I mean, I don’t have to go with them tonight, there’s more room in the van without me, I’ll rent a car in the morning I’ll meet them there, we can hang out. Yeah?” Fin really hoped that Jill would agree to this, he couldn’t bear having to say goodbye to her now. 

Fin was waiting for Jill’s reply when Kurt came over and grabbed his shoulder, “Hi Jill, nice to see you, just gonna steal Fin for a quick sec”, he said to Jill before he pulled Fin out of the backstage area and outside. “What the fuck are you doing?”, Kurt asked looking completely exasperated. “What do you expect me to do? Just say hi and walk away?”, Fin asked a little pissed off that Kurt had dragged him away from Jill, he craned his neck to see she was still sat backstage, he felt bad for leaving her. “You’ve been with me the last five years, you think I was making it up all those times I said I missed her? I can’t ... I can’t let her go again, I need to show her how sorry I am, I don’t know how but ...”, “Yeah well don’t come crying to me when you fuck it up again, that’s all I’m saying”, “I’m not going to fuck it up”, “Well good”, “Yeah”, “Love you”, “Love you too”, Kurt winked, blew a kiss at Fin and then wandered off towards the bands van. People often found their interactions weird but if you’ve been friends for over ten years you’re bound to get a little weird.

#roleplay

[davidleefinley]

It was a whirlwind. Fin’s band members passed him his guitar and he put the strap around his neck and walked backwards on to the stage his eyes on Jill until the last possible second before turning the face the crowd. The set went well, really well, Fin had never realized how great playing in your home town could be, it felt right. 

“Okay so, you guys have been amazing, this uh, this is our last song for today”, Fin looked out over the sea of young faces then down at the neck of his guitar, “I wrote this about seven, maybe eight years ago now, and uhm, it goes out to someone, and ... Yeah, they know who they are”.

I would sleep better on your floor, than I would ever in my bed, and if your carpet makes my face itch it'd still be heaven in my head. Back when they had first dated Fin had spent many a night asleep on Jill’s floor after sneaking in through her window at midnight, her single bed way too tiny for his lanky teenage frame. I would play more than just four chords if it's a song that you might like, but I am not very good so I would practice every night. Jill’s love of music had urged Fin to learn to play guitar better so he could play all her favourite songs from back then, that’s what originally got him in to even writing music. This song held so many memories for Fin, it had been a work in progress for years and years, he had finally finished it six months ago and now Jill was actually hearing it, like he’d always wanted her to. 

“Thanks”, Fin’s voice shook and he raised a hand to the audience as he walked off stage. Anyone who knew Fin knew that he got emotional far too easily so he had to wipe away a tear as he got to the backstage area. When Fin locked eyes with Jill he smiled sheepishly.  “I… I really didn’t think you missed me at all.” Fin shook his head, “I missed you like crazy”, he said earnestly, “Leaving you was the worst mistake I ever made, even though I got some pretty good songs out of it”. The joke was probably in poor taste but he needed to add it or else he might have cried.

#roleplay

[davidleefinley]

“I missed you too.”

Fin would have thought hearing those words would have made him feel better, but they didn’t, if he hadn’t have left in the first place there would have been no missing to do in the first place. It was so unexpected when Jillian offered him a beer that Fin forgot to reply, instead just clambering over the merch table after her and gratefully taking the beer from her, he took a swig. “Thanks”, he said, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and took a seat on the chair Jillian had pushed his way. A little puzzled Fin watched Jillian drink the beer, for a second he forgot why he found this so odd, but the he remembered Jillain didn’t drink. It was the one thing they’d always argued about back when they were dating, Fin had been really bad with his drinking habits back then, he’d mellowed out in the past five years. There had been a couple of occasions Jillian had taken him to the hospital to have his stomach pumped, not some of his most responsible moments. 

Fin thought it better not to bring up Jillian’s drinking and instead just sat quietly, it had been five years, things had changed, this was one of them. When Jillian mentioned the songs she’d been singing were about him Fin shrugged then nodded his head, yeah, that made sense. I'm not so naive, my sorry eyes can see, the way you fight shy of almost everything. It sure sounded like him. “Yeah, a lot of our songs are about you too.” Fin replied. There were actually very few songs Fin had written that didn’t relate back to Jillian in some way or other. “You could come check out our set later mayb-”, Fin was cut off by Jillian’s phone buzzing, he watched as she pulled out her medication and swallowed the pills. This made him sad. About a year after he’d left Orlando Fin had gone on anti-depressants but with his bad drinking habits they had only made him worse and he stopped taking them. Now he just had good days and bad days, and on the bad days he just drank more and pushed through. 

“The tour has been good”, Fin replied, he nodded his head and felt an unintentional smile spread across his face, he couldn’t help it, “It’s been really great actually”, he looked up from his beer can at Jillian. You would have loved it, Fin thought.

“Dave, there you are!” Fin looked away from Jill to see the bassist from his band, Travis, stood across from them, he looked stressed. “We’re going on now, like six minutes from now, the band before us their tour bus broke down, we gotta go”. Fin looked over at Jill, “I-I gotta go, please find me after the show, I wanna talk to you more, please?”, he stood up from his chair pre-show nerves kicking in in full force. “In fact- can you come? You could stand back stage, it’ll be awesome, you wanna?”. It was easy to tell that Fin’s head was racing as he would usually overthink this offer, but he clambered over the merch table towards Travis then looked back at Jill, “Coming?”.

#roleplay

[davidleefinley]

[davidleefinley]

funny you should ask

[davidleefinley]

MAPS - THE FRONT BOTTOMS

[davidleefinley]

“Bullshit.”

Fin took a step back and lifted his hands in a “I surrender” pose. Mistake, you should have just left her alone, you fucking idiot. Fin’s eyebrows furrowed as she yelled at him and he opened his mouth to yell back but decided against it, he did deserve this after all. Slowly his expression calmed, his arms came to hang at his sides. Honestly he didn’t know what he’d expected. Fin was the sort of person who quite literally ran away from his problems and now it was time to own up to what he did. 

He had wanted to text, there had been so many nights in those first few months where he’d sat in his car with the key in the ignition willing himself to drive back to Florida, but he didn’t have the guts. What he did? It was unforgivable, it was shitty, it was fucking stupid. 

I wanted to text. I missed you. I was stupid. I’m sorry. These were all things Fin could have said, but he kept quiet with the expression of a scolded child. Owning up to your mistakes sucked.

“Shouldn’t your boyfriend Kurt be with you?”

This comment made Fin flush red, why did she have to say it like that? “Kurt is here, actually”. Fin didn’t know why he thought this was the time to say that, but Jill had finally stopped yelling at him and now it was his turn to speak. “I’m here with my band, we’re doing the rest of the tour, um, Kurt plays the drums, so yeah, he is here...”. Now Fin was speaking he just kept going, his mind whirring with all the things he had wanted to say for so long. “I just saw you on stage, and you were really good, like, amazing. I saw you here and I had to talk to you. I wanted to say I’m sorry, I know it must mean barely anything now, it’s been too long. I should have called, I should have come home. I get it if you want me to fuck off and never talk to you again, but I’m sorry and I missed you and I’m really fucking sorry”. Fin pushed his hair back out of his eyes, he was speaking too fast, the way he always did when he was upset.

#roleplay

[davidleefinley]

My aesthetic is staring at the ceiling listening to sad pop punk songs instead of sleeping.

[davidleefinley]

Skeleton / The Front Bottoms