deadlyswarm

[deadlyswarm]

Imagine you're the goddess of darkness, you made your most devoted follower kidnap a kid and spent 40 years raising her to be the future jesus christ of darkness and despair and then The World's Most Normal Guy From Connecticut™ shows up. She must be coping so hard lmao.

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I hope they have a “call-before-you-dig” hotline in Baldur’s Gate because if you even think about getting a basement your whole house just plummets straight down into whatever ancient crypt or murder cult headquarters or demonic ritual enclave happens to be in your zip code

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you guys know that you are allowed to like characters who suck in canon right? you guys know that you don’t have to ignore the worse parts of a characters to like them right? YOU GUYS KNOW THAT LIKING A SHITTY CHARACTER AS THEY ARE DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU CONDONE THEIR BEHAVIOUR RIGHT????? RIGHT???? YOU GUYS KNOW THAG YOU CAN JUST ENJOY FICTION RIGHT?????

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#IsBruceWayneBatman: a social media au | Part I

[deadlyswarm]

There's a phase that small kids go through, when they've just learned how to talk enough to have something sembling an intelligent, intellectual argument. They like to practice this by wanting to disagree about anything - mainly general statements that were not 100% perfectly waterproof. If you tell a 4-year-old that bananas are green when they're raw, and they turn yellow when they're ripe, there's a good chance that they'll give you that "well that can't be right" frown, and start to argue. Surely not all bananas that are yellow are always ripe.

Unfortunately humouring them about these arguments is very important for their development and a great opportunity to teach them more about how the world works, so you'll sometimes end up arguing about things like these, and every single time when you explain that's not how something works, they'll come up with another argument starting with "but what if-", until you are forced to admit that yes, if someone did for some reason take one single green banana, spray-paint it yellow and then expertly textured it to look just like a ripe banana, and then break into a grocery store in the middle of the night to slip that one painted banana into the display of ripe, edible bananas, then that one specific yellow banana would not be ripe and ready to eat.

As far as the child is concerned, this means that your entire initial statement was false, and you were wrong and they were right. Their need to be correct about something has been satisfied. Fortunately, most children grow out of this phase eventually.

The ones that manage to survive into adulthood without growing out of it end up on Twitter.

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Demons and monsters that torture people because they feed on human suffering are so dumb. People are suffering everywhere my guy go literally any place and take a deep whiff.

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We should be fine as long as we do not reblog bread.

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being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

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I am not forklift certified.. ITS ME AND @lordsooga WITH OUR YIGA COSPLAYS AAHHHHH

Glory to Master Kohga!

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coward. try 30k. 

you've been salmonsharked reblog to salmonshark someone else

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Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

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TIME IS AN ILLUSION.  THIS IS H A L L O W E E N.  

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Why rickrolling is problematic

The post got a bit long so I put it under a readmore. This is important, please read

Keep reading

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Laugh through the pain :*D

#bells hells #critical role #cr spoilers

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petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

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I'd buy the record [X]