defilerwyrm

[defilerwyrm]

Please Reblog this Post Trans Community and Allies.

I am Zestual (some know me as Shadow), and I run a blog for female to male transition and have for almost four years now.

A little about me I am a retired social worker and addictions counsellor. I have completed all surgeries (last one was just over a decade ago). I've had chest surgery, I've had phalloplasy. I actually enjoy sleuthing the internet for proper information to inform the community that phalloplasty is not bad, and not nearly as risky as many say. As long as you take care of yourself pre and post op you will have a phallis that you've dreamed of.

This includes hormone treatments, top surgeries, metoidioplasty, phalloplasty, and much much more.

If you are looking for a resource that only uses reputable sources and is a source of unbiased information on transition.

Here is the blog directory:

https://www.tumblr.com/answersfromzestual/748974533324800000/improved-blog-directory-find-what-you-need?source=share

Feel free to ask question, send in concerns or questions. I welcome all blog related questions, comments, and concerns.

-Zestual

#more resources! #thank you tumblr user answersfromzestual #ftm #medical transition #transgender #trans men #trans masc #resources #trans matters #queerdom #blog together queue alone

[defilerwyrm]

Older Favourites 6: A Shadowgast Rec List

For the end of the month, it's time for the 6th list of older favourites. Check under the cut for 9 (nein!) fics updated over two years ago!

the mortifying ordeal of being known by idontreallylikebutterflies (5754, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

The Mighty Nein love each other, but they also spend most of their time between insults and teasing. Essek wants to know them, and wants to understand their contradictions, but mostly Essek wants to deserve to be known by them.

Reccer says: A great classic Essek learns more about the Mighty Nein (and their lack of boundaries) fic. Extremely soft

sleeping in the shadow of an other self by nonwal (32857, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Major Character Death, references to torture

In which Essek is resurrected by the Mighty Nein and framed for innocence.

Reccer says: This is one of the cleverest fics I’ve ever read. You need to go in spoiler-free the first time because the reveal is glorious—and artfully foreshadowed, so you just might guess right along the way. The MCD is NOT permanent.

Creature Comforts by mousecookie (4645, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Essek doesn't realise that the cat sitting on his lap isn't Frumpkin

Reccer says: Such a fun premise and generally so sweet!

A Favor In Kind by literalfuckinggarbage (4208, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Yussa spends an evening in Widogast's Nascent Nein Sided Tower alongside Essek, and they discuss with Caleb the repayment of favors. (Or, what if all the wizards blew off some fucking steam during the Eiselcross arc)

Reccer says: Not only is this exceptionally hot PWP, it’s a depiction of a “fully” transitioned trans man the likes of which is painfully scarce and we very desperately need more of.

Somewhere Only We Know by DotyTakeThisDown (3803, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

Caleb and Essek, now married, meet in a demiplane created just for them.

Reccer says: This is short, sweet, HOT, and optimistic.

Mishap by ThreeGremlinsInATrenchcoat (29285, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: Mentions of fantasy racism

Separated from rhe Mighty Nein, desperate, and almost beaten, Caleb grabs Essek and a trinket and Teleports them to safety. Except the destination they land in is not the one he had chosen.

Reccer says: Prepare to cry! This author really knows their way around a grief monologue!

Lay Your Bones by LadyOrpheus (53587, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

On a mission to capture Essek, Verin relises his brother and Caleb have a child and a life together

Reccer says: I love all the feelings Caleb goes through, and the interactions with the nein and Yuna are amazing

A Flumph for Your Thoughts by toneofjoy (3715, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes

During his Aeor trip with Essek, wild magic transforms Caleb into a flumph.

Reccer says: I liked it!

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with poly ships!

#fic recs #shadowgast #not my writing #plz how do i fandom #critical role #cr c2 #blog together queue alone

[defilerwyrm]

I've had vegans tell me before I cannot love my pets, love animals, help endangered animals, etc, if I eat meat, otherwise I'm a hypocrite. And as someone who is mentally ill and has black and white thinking, that fucks you up (adding to the vegan topic here!)

Sorry for the wait on a response.

Wanna know how I can tell they’re full of shit, Anon?

Because those are the kind of people who abuse and threaten the lives of their carnivoran pets by trying to force them to eat only plant matter, for one, and for two, they sure don’t seem to care about the 7.3 BILLION animals that die annually, in the US alone, NOT including insects, from the harvesting of plant crops.

But yeah, honestly I think the purpose of militant vegans saying cruel and nonsensical shit like that is specifically to get you fucked up about it, because they seem to believe that shame is the best way to gain someone’s compliance (ever notice how much they fat-shame, too? See PETA’s many ad campaigns explicitly equating naked women with pigs, whales, cows, etc).

Tearing up poison ivy does not mean you can’t love flowers.

#vegans are made of meat #replies to things #the poison ivy thing is an imperfect metaphor but i’m only 16 oz of coffee into the day #blog together queue alone

[defilerwyrm]

You are actually so loved. The idiocy of a few idiots won't change that.

I know it's hard to see that you're surrounded by flowers when there may be danger lurking among them, but the flowers still outnumber whatever negative bullshit there is.

You’re very sweet, whoever you are. I try not to let anon hate get to me. Most of the time I can just laugh them off (e.g., if you believe in kyriarchal capitalist supremacy, Anon, why are you too scared to say it under your own handle? Not very crunch wrap supreme of you); some, like the “fujo” one, are just…too baffling to be insulting.

That’s an interesting metaphor, and the part of me that protects the rest wants to poke holes in it. As the christians would say, “That’s the devil talking.” So I’m gonna take it for what it is and say thank you for the reminder.

Tangentially, it’s also a reminder to make some time before work someday soon to go walking on the flood plain to see the wildflowers and hopefully catch sight of Frank, Edie, or Beaker (the kingsnake, indigo snake, and coachwhip who live on our property, respectively).

#some good things #replies to things #deleted a bunch of negative self-talk from this before sending

[defilerwyrm]

Dude.

Homie.

Bro.

You're based.

Fun fact: the email for this ask left out the last line and I was preparing to respond with a gif of Lawrence from Office Space but instead I opened it on tumblr to a nice surprise, so instead I'm gonna bust out the Bill Murray

#thanks anon! #some good things #(based is still good right. it didn't become ironic in me overnight right 🤣) #replies to things #blog together queue alone

[defilerwyrm]

The button may be gone but that won't stop me.

BOOP 🐾

Pass it on.

#boop #tumblr dot com #replies to things

[defilerwyrm]

We all make mistakes, it's a part of who we are

#essek thelyss #critical role #cr c2 #not my art #plz how do i fandom #blog together queue alone

[defilerwyrm]

Finally! Wizards I can draw in classic wizard aesthetic!

#shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #critical role #cr c2 #plz how do i fandom #not my art #blog together queue alone

[defilerwyrm]

haven’t posted art in uhhhhh A WHILE…. but i’ve been binging the mighty nein campaign now that im done uni. so here’s a cunty little essek sketch bc i love him.

#critical role #essek thelyss #the mighty nein #cr c2 #not my art #plz how do i fandom #blog together queue alone

[defilerwyrm]

So is the whole "phallo is EXTREMELY dangerous and riskier than heart surgery" shit untrue too..I really hope it is...

Oh yeah, it’s absolutely a crock of shit.

Listen, any time you go under general anesthesia is risky, and the longer you’re under, the more risks there are. So a surgery that takes 6-8 hours, no matter what it is, is going to be potentially dangerous.

But it’s important to know that a risk being present doesn’t make it LIKELY. You take at least as much risk driving to the grocery store as you would having phalloplasty—and if lightning strikes and something life-threatening DOES happen to you on the road, you’re not going to have an entire team of highly-trained, well-equipped medical personnel literally standing over you seeing to your wellbeing when it happens.

The single most important thing that gets considered when deciding if a patient needs surgery is whether the potential risks are outweighed by the benefits. I think the fact a 2020 study found that 59% of trans men were under the impression that bottom surgery is “too risky” but 97% of those who’ve had radial arm flap phalloplasty report full satisfaction with the results says a lot, don’t you? (Source)

#hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah #reblogging for sources #resources #ftm #trans matters #bottom surgery #phalloplasty #thank you tumblr user answersfromzestual! #queerdom #blog together queue alone

[defilerwyrm]

fujo lol

You're gonna have to try harder than that to get to see my penis, you weirdass weeb.

#i want to open up your skull and study the packing peanuts filling it under a microscope #hate mail #replies to things

[defilerwyrm]

#humans are good actually #blog together queue alone

[defilerwyrm]

This post hits different for men

Lucky for me I'm gay as springtime so I can't really deny it

#queerdom #blog together queue alone

[defilerwyrm]

[defilerwyrm]

suck it, Ajit Pai

#net neutrality #so say we all

[defilerwyrm]

random ask for when you get bored or need to pass time

do you have any shadowgast hcs, ideas, kinks, etc that youve wanted to write but you simply dont have the time or energy for?

Oh so, so many.

A couple months ago I was struck by the funny idea of "what if Caleb knew fuck-all about elves, heard the Shadowhand was 120+ years old before meeting him, expected some kind of Crypt Keeper figure, and was absolutely surprisedpikachu.jpg upon laying eyes on the man" and decided to run with it—and then I decided to make it a deep, dark, fucked-up canon divergence corruption arc.

"I'll just put my main two WIPs on hold for a little while," I said to myself. "This shouldn't take too long," I said. "I'll be back to working on Arranged Marriage AU and Widogast's Monster Manual in no time," I said.

😐

Couple of months later I'm 36k words in and just really getting started.

Also on the back burner as outlines, WIPs, or both:

Evilgast blood play PWP

Essek is a stone top, and when Caleb presses for the reason he's unprepared for the rage and pain he uncovers

Caleb uses transmutation magic to enchant a variety of strap-ons for (trans) Essek to a) alleviate dysphoria, b) use on Caleb, and c) to help him decide on his transmogrification goals

Eventual epilogue/sequel to WMM about Caleb's dragon children

Caleb Trash Saga, Pt 1 of 4

90s AU in which Essek is a trust fund grad student who slums it with ne'er-do-wells to thumb his nose at his religious conservative family, and Caleb is a homeless punk musician/college dropout trying to reinvent himself; I don't have an actual plot for this yet so at the moment I'm revolted to say that until I do so it's just a fucking coffee shop AU for goths

so much fisting.

Essek is an ungenerous lover; Caleb sets out to teach him how to give good head (leading by example, of course)

Medplay in which Essek pretends to give a lecture on human anatomy with a condescending, exotifying, objectifying, altogether kinda racist bent, with a naked and enthusiastic Caleb as his "sedated" (actually fully awake) display specimen

Winter Soldier Bren and the aftermath thereof

Would that I had much more free time and much less executive dysfunction.

#shadowgast #critical role #cr c2 #spicy content #replies to things #plz how do i fandom #blog together queue alone

[defilerwyrm]

In 3rd grade (1989 or so), my G&T class were given an assignment to each do a presentation on an animal whose name started with a letter assigned by the teacher. There were only like 9 of us but I ended up with X. (In retrospect I figure this was because our teacher knew I was an incorrigible animal nerd who loved a challenge.)

So I hit the books—yes, the actual physical books—and in the encyclopedia volume containing X I struck gold: I learned of the existence of Xenopeltis unicolor, the sunbeam snake, and it instantly became my favorite reptile.

It still is today.

And as of earlier this month, I have realized yet another childhood dream and obtained a sunbeam snake of my very own.

This is Aurora. She's very docile. Her scales feel kind of like pleather. And photos do not do justice to how intense and vibrant her iridescence is in person.

I am a happy Wyrm.

#yes she's cb #snek #sunbeam snake #Xenopeltis unicolor #reptile #reptiblr #snakes #meatspace #aurora the sunbeam snake #blog together queue alone