definitelydying

[definitelydying]

sick of the internet today. Let me write fucking letters again. I don't want instant replies that leave me beholden to my technology but largely unable to entertain myself. I want to spend an hour a week penning something beautiful and then go about my life until their response shows up. Fuck screens. Fuck capitalism. I'm sick of it all.

#okay. glad I got that out. #I do love technology #I'm just a little silly. don't mind me #hob gadling

[definitelydying]

okay, but birdwatching? not a highly enough rated activity. get those twigs little guy. build that nest.

#hob gadling

[definitelydying]

today the intrusive thoughts won and I did give myself a couple stitches rather than going to a&e because the drive would have taken longer than switching it myself…

#this is what i get for playing with knives in the country side. #hob gadling #cw: injury #cw: blood #cw: stitches

[definitelydying]

watching other people be frustrated by literature: haha. nerd.

being personally frustrated by literature: christ on a cracker why do i read! i hate reading. no i can’t stop reading Jan, I’ll literally die if i don’t know what happens next, even though the prose is fucking insufferable!

#you ever read a book and love the story but hate the writing? #yeah the joke is i lack empathy.

[definitelydying]

oh no, don’t mind me. just making a menace of myself. like you do.

#hob gadling

[definitelydying]

do you ever wake up in bed next to someone you met last night but for a second you’re waking up in 1990 next to the last person you told you loved and then you reach for them but the curve of their hip is wrong and when they turn to look at you the illusion breaks but they smile at you like they’re happy to wake up next to you and it’s okay that it’s not 1990 because you think maybe, given enough time, you’d love them just as much?

#so. anyway. he just left and i’m having a moment. #yeah i’m looking at the box #yeah it hurts like fucking hell. shut up. #hob gadling

[definitelydying]

fellas, life is too short to drink straight whiskey and act like you enjoy it

like, if you enjoy it then fine, but just acting like it?? for cool points???? bruv. come on. don't you have better things to do? have a fruity little drink and enjoy yourself for once you closet homosexual.

#all the love in the world to closet homosexuals #couldn't be me #but still #I would like it to be know that this is about one specific bloke from work who is just.... oh my god he is so repressed. #I don't know if he's literally a homosexual. he may be bi. or some other flavor of queer. I have no idea. #but he's either into men or has no idea how he comes off #man is just like... every closeted person I've ever met times 1000 #anyway. fun times at the pub tonight. waiting for a friend. yet again. #well. another pint won't hurt. #hob gadling

[definitelydying]

We should have a museum where every year, you can participate in the stabbing of Caesar, with 3d reconstruction or something. Like a reenactment but also as a threat to politicians. I think that’d be fun

[definitelydying]

your days are fucking numbered and the number is 1

[definitelydying]

by the time this posts the grading period will be over and I will be sipping cocktails at my favorite gay bar trying desperately to pick up men that are too hot for me. And that will be so fucking nice.

#at the time of writing #it is still several days before the end of the grading period #my children are panicking about their grades not being taken care of #and I am about ready to jump off a bridge just to feel the rush before I hit the pavement #wouldn't die though. I can't die. #obviously

[definitelydying]

god why is my blog so sad lately? you have one little mental health crisis and then suddenly everything is a little gloomy. cheering up now. cats sleeping in the sun. dogs playing fetch. hugging your best mate. singing around a fire. the first warm breeze after a hard winter. the smell of bread baking. the feeling of coming home.

#the sandman #hob gadling

[definitelydying]

[definitelydying]

read a book about a monster today and saw myself in it. tried to comfort myself by saying "at least you know you're a monster. some people never realize it." except what if I am a monster in ways I don't realize yet. if I've done it once, surely I can do it again.

#hob gadling

[definitelydying]

anyone want to see a fucking trainwreck of an ai article

#but ai is the future! #i’m gonna show this to my students who keep using ai to write their essays

[definitelydying]

you know, love is a tragedy. because as soon as it starts you know one day it has to end and it's going to hurt but you do it anyway because the moments between now and the inevitable end are so fucking gorgeous that you can't not.

#god's wounds do I miss them #this is about all kinds of love by the way. not just romantic. stop being boring. #hob gadling

[definitelydying]

[definitelydying]

sometimes your favorite character in a show is a little evil because deep down you know that you're a little evil, but they're likable enough and you're likable enough and they get a redemption arc and are eventually forgiven so maybe if you try hard enough you can be forgiven too. Maybe. Possibly. Everything is possible, but some things are easier in fiction.

#sometimes I wish I weren't a lit teacher. #the number of times I've psychoanalyzed my own taste in hind sight and felt worse... #too high #hob gadling